What Do You Intuit About Who You Are? - 29th April 2022

So what can happen very often is that we may feel like we've become very aware, which is we build and say, 'No, no, none of this is real, none of this is real,' you see. But we are still taking on the position of being this body, concluding none of this is here, you see, and therefore not allowing ourselves for everything to just appear. Or we may say, 'No, no, I have to be a worldly person and I have responsibilities, I have family,' see, 'so how can I become spiritual? So I need to be in the world' and all of that, you see.

Now, those are the two camps which we traditionally build. There's another character which is called the 'advanced spiritual seeker.' Now, the advanced spiritual seeker tries to build a third camp which is trying to juggle both the camps or make it equal between both the camps, you see. So this is the advanced spiritual seeker who seemingly understood satsang and seemingly understood the ways of the world, and now they're saying that we have to now integrate, you see. 'We have to now integrate. Okay, so then okay, I'm going to be 50% spiritual and 50% worldly.' Now, that third camp is like a balancing act. And that balancing act with the constant checker guy checking on, 'Are you being spiritual enough? Or are you being too spiritual? But you need to also be worldly because it is real, you know, the world.' And then, 'No, no, you're going too much in the world, you're being too much in the world. Please remember that all of this is not... it's all ephemeral. So please remember to hang out with the truth also.'

Constantly then we are on this balancing act. 'Oh, am I going this way? No, no,' you see. So we're trying to walk this tightrope. So this is the bane of the advanced spiritual seeker who feels like they've got some advancement in the spiritual progress and be like, 'Okay, I've understood what the masters are saying, but I also understand that my worldly life is real, so I'm meant to balance out both of these things.' And that is too much work, too much, such a burden. It doesn't mean it's like... it's really unpleasant. So there is an idea there which is that 'I have to integrate my spiritual life and my worldly life.' And then, what is the 'I' that has to integrate? What is the 'I' that has to integrate?

So God is messing up because God cannot balance my spiritual and worldly life, you see, but I have to do it. 'I have understood God, come on God, of course God,' you know, and then the world also, you know. And God cannot run the world; I have to get them both together. I can do the balancing act. I can integrate. I can embody. I will embody the highest teaching into this one body. After realizing that my body is the entire universe, I will pick on one body to embody. And then I will integrate the higher spirituality and my world in that embodiment because I am special and I am the one who has understood and I am the one who can do this. Because God is good as far as God is concerned, God is good, but as far as the world is concerned, of course God is not good enough. So God needs some help from me to integrate or to embody the truth or something like that, some notion like that, versus you see.

And this may sound like openness to some, but for me it sounds like severe oppression. This severe mental oppression where this tree has two main branches and now it is trying to grow the third branch which is trying to equalize the other two main branches. I hope this one is not becoming too big, you see. This one has to be equal to that one. Can you imagine the life like that? Just trying to balance the two branches, they have to be equal. And then, 'Okay, now this has become too big to control.' Now, it is not like that. Spirituality and freedom cannot look like that, isn't it? You see.

So trust life, trust Consciousness, trust your being. It is the light in which all of this, all of this is appearing anyway. What are you holding up right now? See, what are you... and this is not... I'm not ramping against you or something. It is saying that these kind of notions I want to share with everyone, you see. Because for the mind, that is progress. 'I've understood what Ananta is saying, I've understood what he is saying, I want this to work,' you see. 'Now, but I have the worldly life and things like that and I don't want to be in a...' because it is possible you can be in Advaita denial if you just have the conceptual version of what is being spoken about. So life is shaking you up but you're like, 'No, no, I am only the Atma, I am only the Atma,' you see. So it is possible like that, but that is a conceptual spirituality which I don't feel like, if you're really following what is being said here, I don't feel like anybody really is falling into that trap.

Only sometimes the mind says, 'But your job is not over by being open and empty. How could it be over? Your job now is to integrate God and the world because who else will do it? Who else is going to embody the truth but me?' But which me? Back to square one. We started off with the false notion of the 'me' and we went on an adventure and we discovered that this 'me' is not real, and then the mind tells us the trick saying, 'But you have to do it. The same me is back.' Come on, you can't only be spiritual. Get a balance, get a gradient. And what is that? Nothing but a third branch of that struggler who is now trying to get the right balance, the gardener who's trying to constantly prune the branches, two main branches. So don't fall into that trap. Just open and empty. Just open and empty and allow.

So neither running to embrace, neither running away from. And I'm talking about inwardly. Oh, in your open and empty you may run away from or run to embrace. The words... some of you may become missionary, some of you may become recluse. We can't say, we can't say it. So don't judge the activity or the actions or the movement happening in one tiny aspect of your body, which is this body, you see. Your body is this entire universe, then within that there is a tiny microorganism called this body. So don't use that as a judgment on Consciousness itself, as a judgment on your reality and whether you're doing a good enough job. Because that is nothing but the spiritual ego. 'I understood this or understood that and it is my job to juggle this now.' And that is my life of a juggler. That doesn't look very free to me.

This doesn't feel very free. I'll tell you exactly. And the kind of the trick, and I'm so grateful, I wanted you to have the space to expose it, is there's these... a beautiful teaching of Jesus that is often resonating from the Gospel of Thomas of, 'If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.' And so there's this kind of creative pressure, you know. 'Am I manifesting?' You know, but it's still an 'I' game, right? So that's kind of been the pressure. 'Am I doing the right thing? Am I embodying?' And I thank you for looking at this.

And every interpretation obviously will be different and no interpretation can claim final truthiness or something like that. But when I hear that, you see, when I hear that, I am hearing: let your being shine. I am hearing: let your being shine. And if you superimpose your being with masks, then that is the destruction, you see. But if you allow your being to shine, then that is true light, you see. So this is the way I heard it actually. So what is within, bring it forth. Let your being shine. You don't have to suppress it or press it under masks of personas and identities and tactics and strategies and, you know, projections about how life should be, how a spiritual life should be. All of these look like masks to me under which the true truth is shining. So bring that forth, bring that forth, let it shine and let's see what happens in that. Thank you.

Thank you. For me to apply a strategy on top of your being would be to put a mask and to hide it, to say that my being is not enough, I need to amplify it with my idea of what should be created or how it should unfold. It would not, in my way of looking, seem anything like allowing it to come forth. Allow your being to shine, allow your Atma to shine, allow the truth to shine with no fear about what will play out, what will happen, our projection about our spiritual life and where what we think we...

For me to apply a strategy on top of your being would be to put a mask and to hide it; to say that my being is not enough, I need to amplify it with my idea of what should be created or how it should unfold. It would not, in my way of looking, seem anything like allowing it to come forth. Allow your being to shine. Allow your Atma to shine. Allow the truth to shine with no fear about what we play out, what will happen. Our projection about our spiritual life and where what we think we've got to will not be expressed through this body—that's fine. Is that fine? This is the question.

Well, it's another illusion, right? Because it's an object in consciousness. It's in front of this that is here.

Yeah, very good. Suppose so. Suppose your inner discovery that consciousness recognizing its own source is I am Brahman itself, you see? I am the qualityless, timeless, eternal reality. See, that is your discovery. But the instant you start sharing about this, you see, the words in your mouth are just blah blah blah. Everybody's like, 'I don't think you've got it yet, man. I don't feel like you're... you're just all over the place.' Would you all be okay with that? Would you all be okay with that? Are you still waiting for this body and this tongue and this mouth to represent your inside so that that becomes then a certificate from others and your own mind saying, 'You're doing so well, you're really getting this'?

I would say don't be concerned. Don't be concerned if, in the light of your being, this body has to shine with the light of those words and they have to be expressed in any sort of environments that allow that to happen. And if it becomes silent, allow that to happen. And if it becomes completely silly sounding, allow that to happen. It's all good. Sometimes the pressure also comes like that, saying, 'I found this truth, but why can't I express it well to my family? Why are they not convinced? Or my friends... my friends still think I'm stupid. You know, I'm not... what am I doing wasting my life? I'm not making as much money or not being productive.' And all of this, like we spoke the other day, this can be a projection coming from our mind or from the people around us.

See, but you could do so much. Look at you, just sitting, just sitting. And then the master says, 'Oh, after I met...' like Guruji says, after that encounter with Papaji, for years he was just sitting. That's not that I'm saying that just sitting... like just sitting can also become a strategy, so please don't misunderstand. The way it sounded just now may feel like, 'Oh, the true expression of the truth then would be just sitting,' because my master just said and his master just said. I'm just going to do that. I'm not saying that. I'm saying that neither do we get attached to a position. So we're not resisting invitations to move, nor are we accepting invitations to move. We are allowing them.

If I can just ask the tuning fork, or the way to know or to sense when to do what? Maybe the deeper undercurrent of the question.

Yeah, yes. When we're feeling unsure, when we're feeling fearful or unsure in some way, then the tuning fork is our own intuition. It's our own intuition, our own heart guidance, which most of you can sense it now—where something is just mental and something is intuitive. So that's why I've been also saying that trust the silence of your intuition, because the intuition is not like our mind, you see, which is constantly full of ideas, usually bad ideas. So trust the silence of your intuition more than the highest notion from your mind, which means that don't get disheartened if you don't feel like you got tangible guidance or worldly guidance about what to do. Trust that silence and allow it to unfold. Be patient with that.

But if we are not fearful and we are not unsure and we are not looking for this kind of guidance—left, left or right, right—then life itself is the tuning fork. Life itself is a tuning fork. And in life itself, there is no boundary around this body saying that this is you and the rest is the world. See, these are just conceptual categories that we have named so that we can create a story. Humanity has made these conceptual abstractions. It says it's too complicated if you were to say, 'Okay, head, neck, chest, stomach, thighs, legs, calves, toes.' Instead of that, in every situation if you have to insert yourself in that way, it would seem like too much work. So instead of that, we say 'body.' What body? Body equals all of this. So we say like that.

And in every situation, if you had to include everything that you perceived instead of using the term 'world'—your light, sound, is it this one, that one, space, all of this—then it would be too difficult for the mind to create a story. So therefore, the mind loves understanding which is based on these abstractions to which you can say 'world,' 'body,' 'me,' 'other.' This kind of abstraction, without having to really look at what is even being perceived. Have I gone too far with stuff like this? No, I'm just asking us to look how difficult the life of the mind would be if we did not give it the ability to label just these broad categories in this way. Then the story-making would be so difficult. And let's make it a bit difficult for the mind instead of easier, because narratives are all false. We know it is all false.

So when we look for even what to do—and it's all right, I don't want to sound too strong about this—it's all right, we look for what to do. It's okay. We're obviously taking ourselves to be body-mind at some level when you're looking for that. That's all right. But sometimes when we are not too much under pressure of the situation, then we can also say, 'But guidance for whom? Who is the guidance for?' See if that one actually exists. So just to clarify, when there is fear and there is a sort of wobbliness about 'What am I going to do? What should I be doing?' then we can go intuitively and don't rush into the answer. If there is no fear or openness, life itself is showing us. You see, our feet, our hands, our mouths itself is showing us.

I have no idea what is going to come out of this mouth next, but I trust it. It's just speaking. I'm also hearing, and it's very free. If I had to think about everything that is going to come out from this, it would seem like a lot of work. There is this trust. So I'm hearing these words just like you are hearing these words. I'm also hearing these words. It's coming. Who's saying that? Just in the light of consciousness, they're appearing. So your life is showing us what it is. Then we can trust that. And then, when it is not feeling like so much pressure about decision-making, we can just ask to ourselves as an inquiry: 'But who is here that would need guidance? Who is here?'

I feel like we've unpacked a lot of things in this conversation. So it is not that you start off as a person and then you really dismantle the person and realize that all is consciousness, and truly I'm beyond even consciousness and that which is aware of my manifest nature called consciousness. And then there's a full circle where you say, 'Okay, now how can I use this personally? Now that I have discovered that I am all there is, I am all there is,' which doesn't help the person in any way, although he would love or she would love for that person to be helped with this discovery in some way. But just the truth—it's just a discovery. I am that which is all there is, and even beyond that.

You discover that, and then you must pack it all in into one body again? Because am I living life as all that is? Who can live like all there is? Then to live like all there is, you would have to then go left, right, up, down, sideways, sideways, diagonally all at the same time. Which body can truly embody all there is? And what is that? It is just convoluted thinking. It's just strange. Like, what would that body look like which embodies awareness? Or even let's forget awareness—no quality, okay, consciousness. What is it? How big would the halo have to be for you to embody consciousness? More than the sun, for sure. They say, 'Okay, I'm getting close.' It's all absurdity. It's all absurdity.

And in a way, it is like a final trump card from the mind. It thinks, 'Yes, yes, yes, here's your certificate. You are free. But now prove it to yourself and to the world that you are free, and you have this instrument as the body to prove it that you are free.' So now you have to take all of this realization, which is boundless—boundless realization, no boundary. This body is seen to be a tiny object in our consciousness, on our screen. Now let's squeeze everything back into this guy. Let's squeeze everything back. This is like, 'Okay, you've done very well, you cracked the spiritual puzzle, but you have not reached the end. The end is when you are able to do the balancing act, like you run both the world and you run God.'

Can you all see the absurdity in this? Because this is a common trick. This is a very, very new awakened sort of concept saying that now that you've got all of this, now you have to prove it through the body. Prove that you are God. Prove that your realization is that you are God. But through this one? How are you going to do it? All absurd, convoluted behavior will come. 'I know why I love you. Oh, I love you, love you, love you.' But inwardly like that, but outwardly because now you have to prove that you are God, you end up doing all this stuff. So stay away from all this nonsense. This motion, notions, emotions, motion, notions about the world, notions about spirituality, super notions about trying to juggle both. Come to motionlessness, and from there tell me if something is not being integrated well or embodied.

Thanks. Hello, Father. Yes, I wanted to come up just to... I wanted to expose some things that keep coming somehow and things that I keep giving attention to somehow. So I wanted to expose them and to give them to you and not to give them too much importance somehow. So I wanted to... yes, this thought that I'm not being somehow, I'm not enough, I'm not doing enough somehow. I'm not doing enough, I'm not devotional, I'm not exciting enough. It's not what I'm trying to say.

And what would it look like? Because I know starting this kind of concept for some time... if you are actually not enough, you see, what would be missing? Nothing is missing. But if you were actually not enough, then what would be missing?

Maybe what is missing is the capacity to not believe the thought hundred percent somehow.

And what would that capacity be? Is it lack of faith? Is it lack of devotion? Is it lack of willpower? Is it a lack of trust in what I'm seeing, in what I'm seeing even right now? Yeah. So suppose you did a blood test and trust came out to seven out of ten, whereas normal value is nine. Okay, now what is it? What diet do you have to eat to make more trust? What can you consume that will get the blood test report on trust higher than it is right now? Let's not take the metaphor too far, but what do you think? Is there anything like that?

No, nothing like that.

So all of this is to just beat us up, beat ourselves up and say, 'I'm not devotional, I'm not just enough, I don't... I'm not worthy enough.' But there are no tools to create this. Like, you can't sit and say, 'Okay, today I'm going to manufacture 200 grams of devotion.' So there is no trouble with how you are, you see? Every temperament, every expression of consciousness is perfectly fine and completely suitable for freedom. Completely suitable. It is just that somewhere it can seem like you hear something with the...

Eat us up, beat ourselves up and say, 'I'm not devotional, I'm not just enough, I don't, I'm not worthy enough.' But there are no tools to create this. Like, you can't sit and say, 'Okay, today I'm going to manufacture 200 grams of devotion.' So there is no trouble with how you are, you see? Every temperament, every expression of consciousness is perfectly fine and completely suitable for freedom. Completely suitable. It is just that somewhere it can seem like you hear something with this click, click, click, and it unlocks you, you know? It just unlocks. But it's not like everybody has a unique combination of conditioning, and in coming to satsang, you hear something click, click, click, and it unlocks that conditioning and it falls away. Or just the energetic presence of satsang, something cleans up and does the thing. But there is no set of qualifications that we say, 'If you have this, then if you have this many milligrams of a spiritual experience, so much patience, plant 10,085 times,' and all of that, then you're worthy enough to come to satsang. No, there's nothing like that here. So this is available for everyone because the truth is universal. If the click did not work universally—maybe the only qualification is openness, you see? If you're open enough to not go to your mind in that instant, that is truth. And this is truth for everyone, and nobody is discovering it less or more. So 'more' is just a function of time. Before the sound of the click, all of you came to the same insight about yourself. And there is no time, there is no mind. There is no time, there is no mind. So in that, before the claim, who are you before you think about it? Now, now we have no shape, no size. You have no limitation. You have no reference to 'I,' you see? You have no reference to 'I.' And the reference to 'I' is the 'I' thought, but you are absent of even the 'I' thought, just naturally.

So if I said to you, 'Okay, there's one here sitting here in the corner there, that one, you see, he's not being enough. You see, that one not being enough? They need to be more to get freedom.' Before the click, see, you would realize that that is absurd. Yeah? Okay. Because you have never been being more or being less. Your being has just been being. Is it that the Master's being is more being than your being? Master's more being? Not like that. Your being, which is natural here, has been it all. Then it depends on what you superimpose it with, what mask you decide to pick up. And that is that myself deciding or choosing? But the light of your being is the light of Atma. So drop this projection about what you need to get to before you can find the truth, because you're completely suitable and ripe and everything right now. And remember that nothing needs to happen, because the cycle is like this: you say, 'I'm ready, but nothing happened,' and I will reconstruct that nothing happened. But suppose nothing happened. There's been clicking, nothing is happening to me. The rest of them are all nodding, but honestly, nothing, nothing is happening. Then you say, 'Why is nothing happening to me? I must not be good enough. I must not be leaving my thoughts enough. I must not be open and empty enough.' All the spirituality that you've learned, which was meant to deconstruct and to open, then becomes the defense itself. 'Open and empty, and anyone who's open and empty will get it. Why am I not getting it? I must not be opening enough.' That is the influences that the mind makes, you see? It says, 'Okay.' But I'm telling you that in this moment, all of you are free. All of you, you see? All of you.

Now, what is happening to you is that you have another idea of what freedom should look like. Therefore, you give your certificate of 'not passed' to yourself. The certificate 'not passed,' see? Because, 'If I was really free right now, you see, how come there is anger? If I was really free right now, then how can there be lust? Lust? There is no, no, no, no, not free.' All these ideas of how things should be in life and how—and so, and nothing is going in the direction I think again. And then what happened is that, 'Okay, then okay, if all this then continues, then what is this freedom thing? Is it just a sham? Is it just a sham? Just like a con? Is it just a con job?' If I'm saying that before enlightenment anger can come, after enlightenment anger can come, you see? Before enlightenment, chopping wood; after enlightenment, chopping wood. Fetching water, fetching water. Then what is enlightenment anyway? What's the point of it? What will I get? The benefit to me? 'I've spent 20 years of my life and you're looking to tell me nothing changed?' So all the convoluted thinking from the mind: 'What is the benefit?' Can I tell you all, yeah? Can I tell you that you are beyond this universe? You are not an object in time and space. You thought that you were. You may continue to think that you are, but you are recognizing that you are not. You are recognizing that this whole world appears in your light, the light of consciousness. You are deathless and birthless, timeless. It is your insight. It is your truth. But you cannot squeeze this into your heads and into the life of one body. And that is the classical mistake that many of you are doing, see? And that seems to be the theme of today, starting from Santa's question, see? You cannot squeeze it into your one individual life or your idea of it.

And to the mind, that is just like, then, pointless. Because then what are we in this form, see? But for you, you stop living the biggest lie that you could ever live. Come to the truth of your existence. You come to the discovery that you are beyond anything that can happen in this world, and everything in this world is acceptable to you. It's not like a resistance state. It's not like a resistive state, which would then be the Advaita. But what you are discovering is that although you are untouched from anything that may have happened in this world, and that becomes an antidote to fear. You're open. Anything can come. So don't judge your freedom based on what your mind is saying. And your mind will be saying things about the activities of the body or the states or the emotions appearing in the body. Don't judge yourself based on these things. You're not going to squeeze your freedom into your that one tiny body. Be talking to you as consciousness. On what basis do you know that you're afraid? On what basis will you know if one kg of anger and two kgs of fear comes into that experience as if it is in the body every day? It means you're not free? You are not free as consciousness because in one body there is an experience of anger and fear? And by the way, if there is anger and there is fear to be experienced, who is that being cooked for? Who is consciousness cooking it for? For itself to taste. What is your basis for your own self-certification of freedom? Are you asking?

Yes, yes. Should I answer?

You're welcome, yeah.

Um, well, what I'm seeing is maybe some—there is some reference about experiences I had, and I wasn't—I wasn't feeling like that, right? Like that, that was—that was—

Yeah, that was when you were free? Yeah, not now? Yeah, this is the—this can't be freedom because it's because, because, because I'm feeling, I don't know...

Because your being, even whatever it may be, your being is not enough right now? Your being, your being is not enough. So the God which is available to you right now is like a substitute teacher. The main teacher was the one that you experienced then, and this substitute is good enough? Like fresh God is not good enough? That God was the real deal? Yeah, I'm just saying these things so that soon it'll start sounding absurd to you. It could be even a possibility like that. Like your being, which is the light of your experience, everything that you're experiencing right now, even though your mind may be judging it and saying, 'Oh, this anger, this is not good, this is constriction, this is bad'—have you had ever had an experience when you were not there and your being was not there? Is it this light? Whatever may come up on the screen, is this light being touched? So the light of your being, can you show me a moment when it is not enough or it is different from a previous moment? And you wake up and you may have whatever feelings may shine in that light. Without that light, you cannot experience even a feeling. So get the light and tell me when the light is not enough. Like, can you taste your own light right now? All the light in which you are experiencing the perceptions in front of you. And whose light is that light shining? Without what would this experience not be possible? Right, you see? Yeah.

So what will happen if you shut the physical light? If the sun went down and get the lights in, you know, perceptions? No, no, we will still perceive darkness. The experience of darkness will be there. In what light is that experience? In what light is darkness experienced? My light. Your light. Now, is that light different when it is dark and when it—when there is physical light? No, it is the same. In the same way, you see, whatever the perception may be, whether we label it as dark or light, good or bad, light is untouched. Your being is untouched. Can we make this being more worthy or less worthy? What can we do to it? See? Now, can you draw down a little bit more, even beyond this? Although this is the end of satsang itself, right? But who is aware even of this light of being? You are aware without having to think, without having to move an inch. You can't stop it. It is just your natural condition. You are aware of even this light of being that 'I am.' 'I' is aware of and is made up of the same 'I.' What can happen to this 'I'? And all of this, can you see in your head? Like, can you—are you just inferring this as thoughts? All that is being said, are you just taking it as concept? You can't do it. All that you can do is make a photocopy in the concept. But when you're looking at the light, when you're looking at the light of your own being, it is not a sight looking, it is not a perceptual looking, it is an intuitive looking. You are intuiting it. You are not knowing it or seeing it.

I feel like I'm going to use this word: what do you intuit? What do you intuit about who you are? Hmm? Everybody knows how to intuit. It's a new dance step I've invented. Know how to intuit. What is to intuit? I want to use this word because to use 'know' or 'see' or 'recognize' also gets very confusing, because we are used to knowing conceptually as ideas that 'this is who you are.' Then we feel like we must have a sight about who we are, or even when we say 'recognize,' it feels that I must see an appearance, like to recognize, right? So I feel like I'm going to use this word: intuit. Intuit who you are. I'm going to tell you how to intuit also. I have told you one day before, so I'm going to tell you all again. When you're not doing any of the other dance moves, okay? Which is to try and know—yeah, that's one—try and know, and the dance move of try and see. Then naturally you're intuiting. When the false modes are kept aside, your true mode of true insight, true intuition, true Atma Gyan is available. It's always available, but it seems to get clouded under the false. See? You learned how to do this dance or no? How do you intuit? It's not something you do. Somehow you is you is who is who. This is intuition. Who is always meditating, never watching movies? So it is undeniable that as we let go of the false instruments of mentating and perceiving with the attempt to find the truth, you see, when we let go—I mean, we don't pressurize them to produce some meaning or truth for us—then naturally there's an insight present which is not confused about who you are. And it is not possible to be confused. Intuitively tell me, try it out and tell me if your intuition is confused. And the only way to go to intuition is to drop the false. Stop relying on the mind and relying on perception to tell you the truth about who you are. What is the condition of your intuition? Is it blurry? Is it clear?

Clear.

Clear. Is there any confusion about identity? You see, all that I'm saying through the mind will look like nothing. Is it? Yes. When I say, ask a question...

Who you are—it is not possible to be confused. Intuitively tell me, try it out and tell me: Is your intuition confused? And the only way to go to intuition is to drop the false. Stop relying on the mind and relying on perception to tell you the truth about who you are. What is the condition of your intuition? Is it blurry? Is it clear? It's clear. Is there any confusion about identity? You see, all that I'm saying through the mind will look like nothing. Is it? Yes. When I ask a question like this, some of your minds may be screaming, saying, 'Nothing! What is he saying?'

So remember that we are not trying to squeeze our inside into our heads, because into our heads it'll only be, 'Oh, it's like so simple, it can't be that' or 'Nothing, nothing... oh, that nothing must be it then.' But all of that is nonsense either way. That 'nothing' is not it, or it is it, but as long as it's only conceptual, it's meaningless. See, and that is why I have given you a hammer as a tool. That is the only hammer you need. After explaining all of this, when I ask you: Are you aware now? Where is that answer available? It is in that same space where you go to. Where is that answer available? Is it a perceived answer? Is it a perceived answer? Are you aware? Do you see awareness as a perception? Are you inferring it by saying, 'Oh, because there is perception of the world, therefore I must be aware'? That is not a process I want you to do. I mean, if that is a process happening, it can happen, but I don't want you to rely on that. So answer faster before that influence can happen. Are you aware now? See? Are you awake?

So this awareness is palpable—before the 'not'—but we have to use language. Not really palpable, but it's clear before you can start thinking, 'Is there a perception of the world? If there is perception, therefore there must be awareness, and you know, I must be aware.' Before all that nonsense happens, you're just aware. Where do you know that? Where do you intuit that? That is intuition. Want to go to your intuition? Ask yourself: Am I aware now? And don't conceptualize an answer. Can you see that is the end of spirituality, in a good way? Yeah. Are you aware now? And it doesn't matter what word this came from, but your recognition—confirming the recognition—the confirmation comes from your intuitive insight.

It doesn't matter; your mind could be screaming, 'No, no, no, what aware?' You see, it could be saying that, or it could be saying, 'Yes, yes, yes.' It doesn't matter. There's a deeper insight which is unshaken by these mind voices. So trust that, because that is your intuitive insight. There's nobody who doesn't have it. If your head is telling you, 'But this is not it, this can't be it,' then it is the head which is mistaken. Okay? Another master trick from the mind is that 'Now I need to stabilize.' Okay, so destabilize this. I want you to come to a state where you're confused about whether you are aware or not. Let's do it. Are you aware now? Don't be aware. Make it all blurry, confused. 'I'm so confused, it's so clear.' Come to that, like post-satsang. No? Yeah, it's not fair. Who am I? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Are you okay now?

Trying hard, no. You're trying hard to be there. I don't know, I've come away with... but even to say that, I would ask you then: That you don't know, are you aware that you don't know?

Yes. You cannot escape your awareness, no. Even aware of the perception of these thoughts. 'I don't know.' You are aware. Who is aware now? Remember that what you wanted—what you wanted has nothing to do with what you're finding. Yeah, okay? What you wanted out of this has nothing to do with your discovery. So forget about it. Forget about what you wanted. So the mind will say, 'Forget about the discovery because it has nothing to do with what I wanted.' And many have like a subtle argument with me and say, 'But I came into spirituality for that.'

So then, if you took a wrong turn by mistake and ended up at the right place, will you now stop being at the right place because you took the wrong turn? If you came into spirituality full of personal desire, but still you found something which is so beyond the personal, you see? You say, 'I'm going to leave the ultimate reality and truth just because when I came I wanted something for myself.' That's absurd thinking. But how many times have I heard this? 'But I came into spirituality for this.' But I'm so grateful that I was full of desire, that I wanted bliss and joy and love and peace. I was full of this desire, so now I have to service that because it got me into satsang. Come on! If you just objectively look at the nonsense in the mind, it will seem like the most absurd comedy. All of us have like one Samuel Beckett sitting in our head writing these absurd comedy sketches all the time.

And there must come a point where we stop dancing to what my mind is saying. Is the mind paying you to watch his audition? So what are you getting him? Your mind is saying... I know what your mind will be saying. Why do you want to know anymore what your mind is saying? What meaning has it given to you so far except nonsense, that you want to follow more what the mind is saying? And the mind itself will come and say, 'Oh, what my mind is saying!' And now the mind has to... when will it stop saying this? The mind itself will say this: 'When is it going to stop? Please, Father, when is it going to stop?' It has stopped. You're just looking at the past here. Right now, it's over. Now you can look at the past in the form of the mind. Forget about it. God is here as your own being. Everything that had to be done is done. Don't do all these post-mortems and go to the mind and say, 'What are you saying? Also, are you fine? I'm very happy. How are you, Mr. Mind? Are you fine?' This is asking for trouble. Okay?

So what are some of the things you said? Don't try to be some masterful spiritual seeker full of devotion, full of love, full of absence of anger, lust, fear—all these notions. You are good enough as you are. God has not abandoned you. God is sitting in your living room waiting for you. You are abandoned in some way when you go searching. So you are worthy enough. There is no living room which is empty of God. Okay? It is there for you. God is there for you, only for you. Second is that don't use spiritual understanding to become a very advanced seeker who's going to now run their life in some very full of mastery. You see, all this kind of juggling spiritual concepts and worldly concepts and just like every move is a ninja move, you know? Everything is so well executed according to the highest that we have found. See, leave all that. Allow this body to unfold as it is going to unfold. Don't pressurize it under some superb ideas of spirituality. Allow it to be natural. Be like a baby. Don't worry about this kind of stuff. You don't have to integrate, you don't have to embody, you don't have to take on any project like that. You see, I free you from all these projects. Nothing. It's all nonsense. Just relax, chill out, don't worry.

Then you cannot... what I've been harping on about for years about not using the wrong instruments. Come to the truth. Just discard the instruments of the false, which is the instrument of perception and the instrument of conceptualization. So don't try to conceptualize your way into the truth and don't try to perceive your way into the truth. You will never find the Self as an object and you will never find the Self as a concept. Forget about it. Never going to happen. When you leave this, you are not lost; in fact, you are found. You come to the insight about your own intuition. It's like the treasure was always in your heart, but you've been looking for peanuts outside. So leave these peanuts, come to the treasure which is in your heart, and you can live comfortably from here. Comfortably. That thing is missing. If guidance is needed, guidance will come. If silence is needed, silence will come. Just don't second-guess yourself. Just live here. Don't worry. And this I've been calling 'live headless.' That is called a free life. That is called freedom. That is called truth. You cannot be free like this without the truth being apparent, and you cannot have truth being apparent and not have this freedom, which is the same thing at one level.

When she says, 'Actually, I didn't speak about calmness, just the intuitive insight.' But suppose it was calmness. So this intuitive presence, the presence of the Satguru itself, the divinity of the presence is inside. The question comes, she says, 'Is this another aspect of the mind itself that I'm experiencing? How can I determine that?' There's a way to determine that, but that way is not the mind. See, the question may come from the mind, but the true answer will not come from the mind. So now leave the mind. And when I say mind—because mind is confusing to you—don't value any thought which is coming is what I mean by 'leave the mind.' Don't value any thought which is coming. Allow those thoughts to be valueless. Let go of them. And then in your heart, the same thing which we are confused about—which is whether it is an aspect of the mind or not—the answer will be apparent.

It is as you are noticing this, as you are not giving value, truth value, to thoughts, the truth of what you are is apparent and the truth of the world is apparent. The mind doesn't have to be satisfied. The mind will talk to you: 'What is this?' And that depends on... or actually also depends on our definition. We mostly refer to Bhagavan's definition, which is: mind is a bundle of thoughts. If you look at it just as a bundle of thoughts, then it's fine because there's no actual thing like mind, just like there's no actual thing like body or world or table or anything like that. It is just an abstraction that we use. So four sticks and a lump of wood together, we call that a table, isn't it? Same way we call leg, what are you saying, and all this put together, we call that body. We call everything in the realm of perception, we call that world. But there's no actual substance in that.

So is it mind? It depends on what you call mind. Yeah, there is no actual meaning. It is just words give rise to other words. If you open the dictionary, do you get actual meaning? No, you just get other words. And if you didn't know the language, you would have to look them up also. So actually it's just circular. There is no real meaning being given or knowledge being given. In the same way, you see in your mind, if you have a definition of the mind which is 'bundle of thoughts,' then that question is negated because 'Are you aware now?' is not coming as a bundle of thoughts or a thought. You see, you are seeing it in a different way—not sight-seeing, but you're recognizing it, isn't it?

So let me ask you in a different way. There is a perception of this hand, you see? Who's aware of that perception? Who's aware of that perception? Huh? The sheepishness is to say 'I.' You know, there's a sheepishness to say 'I' because we've related 'I' with the ego for so long. You see, that 'I' must go, that 'I' has to go. See? Then how can I be aware? See? So we can rely on Bhagavan to solve that riddle for us. He said when the truth is apparent, 'I' removes the 'I' and it remains 'I.' See? So the false 'I' is removed and yet the true 'I' remains. You see, the true 'I' is aware of the perception of this hand, and that 'I' cannot be perceived. Are you just thinking that it is there and saying it is 'I'? So you are not thinking about it, you're not perceiving it, and yet you are confirming it as 'I am' intuitively, my dear. Exactly. That's the main point. So that intuitive insight about 'I' is... everybody has it. It's got a bad reputation, that's about it, which is that it's very rare, only one in a million will find it. Actually, it's sitting there, everybody. Like the master said, the diamond is in your pocket already, but you are begging because you're looking in the wrong direction. So spiritual seeking is that begging. Diamond already in pocket. In our living room, who's sitting? God is already sitting, who is lightly shining.

Exactly, my dear, exactly. That's the main point. So that intuitive insight about 'I' is—everybody has it. It's got a bad reputation, that's about it, which is that it's very rare, only one in a million will find it. Actually, it's sitting there. Everybody, like the Master said, the diamond is in your pocket already, but you are begging because you're looking in the wrong direction. So spiritual seeking is that begging. Diamond already in pocket. In our living room, who's sitting? God is already sitting, who is lightly shining, that gives light to all of your perceptions. God's light, consciousness is light, whichever word you like, but it is yours already.

With your questions, so there are two aspects to it: the basic, basic one and the advancement. So when do you know that you have transacted? If you're here, you're ready. Is Maharaj at all? I'm staring right here. I'm not saying that. So I'm saying, okay, let's say this way: that nobody in this room has a lot of body consciousness anyway. Are you perceiving your ear right now? Are you perceiving your nose right now? Unless I'm pointing it out, you become conscious of it. One of my masters told me very early that your body consciousness of your ear—when I pulled your ear, without that, there is no body.

So okay, let me demystify it a bit for you because later when you go on these things, if you are open to this, you are ready for it. Most were too taking themselves too much to be the body, and they feel like they're too much, that 'I must be an object in this world' and all this talk about the light in which the universe appears is too far out, can't be true. They may not be like most of the friends and people in our family and all we know. If you were to talk to them like this, they will say, 'Take it, okay, it's okay for you, you are happy, no, you'll be happy, don't tell us.' That is closeness, you see. So they are not ready. They can do some other thing.

I'm also not saying that someone is lower, some practice is lower and some is higher, but I'm saying that different strokes for different folks. So if they get a verse when they hear stuff like this, they can do some other thing. God has made enough avenues for them. But if this is resonating with you, grab it. Everybody came expecting that. Now what you're finding about yourself is that you are not a thing, and everything comes and goes. So why I'm saying that is so that you don't get attached even to some things which may be appearing. For some, it may be appearing that way, that this beautiful love, peace, and joy may be apparent. It's okay, let them come, don't fight it, but don't get attached to them because everything that comes, everything that comes down, just because the provider of labels is producing the label doesn't mean you have to stick it.

Slowly, slowly. So labeling instantly happens. You say, okay, this you're perceiving, the label may come. So the label is also always different. One may say, one may say 'stop,' the label can be different, different, you see. And they're saying, 'Oh, Ananta is giving blessing.' One may say 'stop' and they say... so the label is different. So the truthiness cannot be found because every label may be different. Which one, which label is the truth, cannot be found just by the arising of the label. Doesn't mean that consciousness has lost its power to let go of it. Just because it arises, does it make it true? This is what you have to investigate.

So in your report, it kind of felt like consciousness has now been held hostage. See, it has been now held hostage because anything that appears, that the name also comes. There's a name also from me. Constant consciousness has to take it to be that name, you see. It's not like that. Although the mind is designed to produce the label, consciousness retains the power of belief or not, of giving value or meaning. Consciousness has not handed that over to the mind. So you as consciousness have full power. Show me a thought which has to come where you have to, as consciousness, bow down and accept the label. Nothing like that.

So allow the labels to come. It's like echo. Echo is coming like a small speaker is there in this room. Anything that shows up on the stage, then that speaker has to give it a name. But just because the speaker in the room is giving it the name, or a child is sitting there in the corner saying, and mouth busy person, 'good, bad,' like that—just because the child is sitting there doing it doesn't mean you have to believe the child. No. Nobody can force consciousness to believe. And keep experimenting, see how it is. So the child mind can keep producing these labels and these stories, but consciousness cannot be forced into accepting them.

Don't think about spirituality too much. Even if it feels like you become jobless now, thinking about God is not the way to go. So now we do... so you may think and think and think a hundred thousand times, but that is not the path to God now. The mistaken idea is that Jnana Yoga means we think about God because it's knowledge yoga and we feel like knowledge means concept. But that is not the Gyan which is apparently an Advaita session, but it was not an Advaita session. It was like a debating society. And then, this is very, very different from, you know, any true spirituality.

So don't feel that it is like that, that you have to think and come up with the master concepts and come up with a master understanding and with that... that clarity is the actual clarity. Nothing that will get slapped out of you the minute some small thing shakes in life, all the highest concepts go flying out the door. So don't think too much about this. Allow yourself to be in your intuition. Some of you may have a report that it doesn't feel like the heart is here. They may say, and I've had to support that, 'Ananta, I know that you are not talking about the physical heart. I know that you are talking about like a sense of light or a sense of being in the heart region which represents as the core of beingness itself, but I don't feel it like that.' And that is absolutely fine. That is absolutely fine.

So we use the heart, capital H, the word heart, capital H, just to signify the intelligence which doesn't need mental working. The intelligence that doesn't need mental working is your intuition. So trust that. You have to do mental working to confirm that you are perceiving this hand? That you are aware of this person? No, it's just apparent. In the same way, you don't have to do mental working to confirm that you are aware. So that pool of insight and intelligence which is available to us without the need to compute, without the need to say 'this, therefore that, because of this' and then you see all of this time-based stuff—and this intelligence, this heart inside, this intuition is available for all of us.

So to stop thinking too much about it, stop trying to resolve it in your head too much because allow yourself to be relaxed, chill out. Doesn't matter even a little bit about whether you got it in your head or not. What you understood in... is able to quote and say, 'Oh, this is Katha Upanishad, this is Prashna Upanishad, this is this one, this is that one.' See, all the knowledge will be there, but not one moment they spend outside their head. There will be another who's never come near these groups. Even my Master says he doesn't like these big, big books, but in hearing his utterances, who can say that they are not uplifting? They point to the highest truth without needing... what did he study then? All the commentators have said so many different things. So we can trust one who's just sharing from his direct insight. Such a beautiful view. And everything he said, somebody will be able to confirm and say, 'Okay, this is in this scripture, this sutra,' but he had no need to study any of them. He's just speaking as if it's like clear in front of this computer, this camera, there's like that. He's just talking and those words are conforming to the highest scripture like that without having to use the head.

One more, yeah. I have an early morning flight tomorrow, so whose question has not been answered yet? So the hand is still up. Okay, who haven't I spoken to in some time? Okay, let me go to my queue because I haven't spoken with my children.

Not much to say. I want to say I don't even remember what we said at the beginning of the satsang, but there were some things that really struck deep and I thought they were quite wonderful. I wish I could remember to say, but it just comes to say that this again, like just believing the thoughts, you know, and how I... no, no, it was about how we wait for let's say the world or this body to show that we are free, right? Yes, yes. And I do feel like that sometimes, you know, I'm waiting for the manifest to be like, 'Oh, now, now you're free,' you know, because this is like this and just like that. And yeah, to give that up to you.

Hey, it's not possible actually. So why I expose all of these things? Because we look at the absurdity of it. It's just like if you saw Papaji at Pizza Hut, no, and he's just eating a pizza, we say, 'Oh, this body is eating the pizza in such an enlightened way.' Absurd stuff. So we don't have to pressurize how will the body represent it. I mean, what is it? We don't have any of these kind of things. And then it just wants to say that whatever it is that may this life genuinely be for freedom, you know.

And tonight, and you are here, and this is not the first time you're here. And anyone who can hear this one talking gibberish like this for more than one or two satsangs must be in this life of freedom. Otherwise, who can come and hear this kind of nonsensical absurdity that I speak for more than two or three times if you're not in this for freedom? I don't think it's possible. So don't judge yourself too harshly, okay? It's for...

Yes, today, I don't know, something happens when I come before you. Really, all every call, questions and all, they don't have much really to say, but something which comes up. So I'm gonna pull them down as to say, this, this, this... all I know after meeting Moojibaba in 2015, it said, 'So long it has come out.' That's how he said it. And it's true, till the... till my every cell, this something is out that I cannot put a finger on it, what is out, but the sense of being is here. And it's so natural. It's not an object. It's so, so... it's not even clear. It's who, who... somewhere, somewhere it's like blasphemy, but actually it's who I am. You can... who we are or who I am or whatever.

And then in the waking state, this whole play happens with the Satvik and Tamasic, and there is that effort not to go into it because, as I have listened to you for so long now, this cat-cat business really is over. But something is keep going to this bag of mischievous toys, you know? You understand very well.

Yeah, so this... I'm not asking a way out, but I'm just putting it out here just to expose it that it's here, these toys are there. Yeah, but the thing is that we cannot even conclusively say that they're here. So one may look at it, you may say, 'But I have a memory of it.' See, I have a memory of it playing because you're definitely not talking about right now. You're saying, 'I have a memory of it from some time,' you see. So I may say to you, how much of yesterday do you remember? How many moments? You may say to me, 'Oh, but I remember, if I work really hard, I remember ten moments, twenty moments,' you see. And in all those moments, I was up to some mind game, some mind identification.

Now, one may look at twenty moments in a day of identification and say, 'That's a lot of freedom, actually.' Another may look at that twenty moments and say, 'Oh, but that means I must be other moments also, I must be identified.' But what can we conclusively say, you see? So the mind attempts to make a narrative and say, 'This is my current condition,' but the evidence that it has is not enough to conclusively report on our condition. You see? So I may look at that and say, but you're like a sage, because even the sages say momentarily something comes, you see. So twenty moments out of thousands and thousands in a day is nothing. You are free, you see.

And say, 'Oh, but that means I must be other moments also, I must be identified.' But what can we conclusively say, you see? So the mind attempts to make a narrative and say, 'This is my current condition,' but the evidence that it has is not enough to conclusively report on our condition. Yeah, you see? So I may look at that and say, 'But you're like a sage because even the sages say momentarily something comes,' you see? So twenty moments out of thousands and thousands in a day is nothing; you are free, you see. Another may say, 'But twenty moments you were angry, you were fearful, you were hungry, you were all this. No, no, you're not free.' What is the truth? You cannot say. So don't rush to any conclusions about yourselves. Let your freedom be the Master's problem. It's not your job to do the report card. Yeah, you see? Because we cannot say it's like this, 'I am in this, this is playing out.' No, you can't say it. On what basis can you say?

I can tell you something which is conclusive, which is right now in this moment you are fully free. And every moment like this is like this only. And the habit is the report card is always—no exception to this—there's always a body-mind report, nothing else. It cannot report about something which it doesn't know, right? And if the report card is 'F', you know, 'I'm feeling I'm not worthy.' So we talked to Spirit, Shivoham, so much about this point; it's all nonsensical. But even if the report is an 'A star', 'A plus', whatever, that is also a setup for failure. 'Become so free now, nothing can touch you, the world can't touch you, look at how free you are.' And tomorrow something will come and grab you and then you say, 'No, no, I had it but I lost it.' You see all this kind of work?

And I've noticed that if by will for a week I don't slip on that banana peel, the toys... and after a week there's a sense of that this joker, which I call the joker, 'Wow, you've done really well.'

What you're reporting right now is also symptomatic of the checker guy. Just be open and empty right now and leave the week and all that business to me. Don't worry about it. Don't make any patterns and conclusions. Don't have any causation. Don't have any of this stuff. If there is a process, let me manage the process; you manage the moment, you see. Usually you say the other way around. I say be open and empty, you say, 'Father, you do that for me,' you see, 'but I will track my progress.' Not you specifically, but many times I hear a report like that. Even that only you can do, you see? I'm saying you do, you open it; you say, 'You do that, but I will track my report,' you see. So let's reverse the roles. You take care of this moment for me; I will take care of all that is in time. Yes, thank you so much. I feel like we'll close here because... thank you all so much for being in Satsang today.

She can't clear that house. Okay, almost all my questions were answered, yeah. But I just want to ask for your blessing because I might have an interview call, I'm not sure.

Okay, the blessing is for you to get the job, right? And most auspicious meet and food that reaches the highest times. Thank you.