What Blocks You From Being Free Is Only Ignorance, There’s Nothing Else, Ever. – 7th September 2022

Here we are exploring whether there is something beyond the usual traditional knowledge. And we're not exploring it—we may have come in initially exploring it with the idea that 'I want to show that it does this' or 'It helps me in this way' or something like this, but that's no longer it. Because in the exploration of that which is beyond conceptual knowledge, show me who you are in the first place, what you are in the first place. So, if you're going to play whack-a-mole with me and say, 'Yes, yes, there is no meaning, but understanding that really helps me because then I can blah blah blah,' that's not what we are talking about. So, just contemplate yourself. What is this really about? What do we want at the core of it? And how do we really know that? How do we really know that?

Is our spirituality a convenient phenomenal materialism, which is a chase for good feelings or a good state of existence that you try to do with relationships and money and cars and whatever else? But now, if you feel like, 'Oh, that stuff doesn't work, this will help me feel good,' and if it is that, it is that. I'm not judging it, but I may be saying that that is not what is on offer here. It may be a byproduct of your discovery, but it's not really anything that I'm concerned with so much. So, you may contemplate and you may say, 'I don't know that, man. I just don't know.' And that is openness, and I'm willing to live with him. I don't know what to know is. So, these are the building blocks on top of which—what does it mean to know? What is the meaning of meaning? And if we gloss over these steps and go ahead, then it's just going to end up becoming spiritual knowledge in your head, which is not going to help you, actually.

It may seem like for a few days or weeks there are some things which you hear often in Satsang, like the new thing you've been hearing often in Satsang is: 'How do you know?' I feel like it's a good tool, it's a potent instrument. And look at it in this way: that if ignorance is clouding your vision, that the speck of dust which prevents you from seeing the moon—all of that, all of those metaphors which all of us have heard many times—if only ignorance blocks it, does anything else block it? Confirm this to yourself. I don't want the right answer. Does anything but ignorance block your vision of the truth? So, you will find that the truth is super apparent unless I take myself to be what the thoughts are proposing that I am. So, what blocks you from being fully free is only ignorance. There's nothing else, ever. Can you see this? If this is trouble, we'll spend like a year on it. I don't mind. But this is the basic building block. I don't want to gloss over it and then presume that, 'Hey, everyone has got this.'

I don't have to seek it anywhere. No, I just mean it very literally, like ignorance means that I have a wrong idea.

Exactly. So, now without the wrong idea, what knowledge is missing?

Okay, yeah, nothing. Separate—it's me and the world, me and the other. All duality, desire, doership that I've spoken about for ten years, all of that is a product of this ignorance.

Is also the idea, 'Yes, I have to find something else.'

Yeah, so all desires, all doership, all one—this knowledge, I have to find it elsewhere. That's like—that's a design.

That's what I'm saying. Desire, doership, duality—all of it comes as a product of this ignorance. And that could be the highest notion we take. Because unless we identify—like we are in, suppose we are with a doctor and it's all just confused about what disease we're talking about. Is it cardiac? Is it diabetes? Is it kidney? So here, first let's identify what is it that we are here to rehabilitate ourselves from. Guruji said Satsang is—what is it? A rehab. Wrong. And Bhagavan has made it very clear, all the masters have made it very clear, that only ignorance gets in the way. The Self is not a new attainment; it's already yours. Only ignorance gets in the way. So, if you feel like you have a choice, then make the choice not to go with the stream of thought. He said that very clearly. And ultimately, you will see that even that was grace.

So, what is this about? It's about two different things. One is a view of perspective—it is a perspective—and the other is beyond all views and perspectives. Like, it is unfathomable, unlimited. So, what is the way in which we can have a perspective or a view? Are we clear about this? Maybe I should go really slow because it is not a Satsang perspective that we are bringing to life now. That may be though—like most of spirituality may be shared that way, but here we are not giving anybody a spiritual perspective. Knowledge, spirituality, you see, Atma Gyan—none of those—I mean, those can happen, whatever they are, but you see, those can happen, but it is not about any of that. So, it is not about creating a fresh perspective about life. It's not creating a new framework saying, 'Okay, you had a very personal framework, let me give you God's framework.' This clear on?

So, whatever you think you can smuggle into your head about this is not what we are speaking about. Did not happen. Now, as part of that perspective, you may have a belief that, 'Without this, I am lost. I'm fully lost.' But the truth is just the opposite of that. This you have to verify for yourself. And this is the only gift I have for you. You may not appreciate it right now, but my hope is one day you will. And this has nothing to do with how your life must move or not. Where do you place the boundary about your life and you? You wake up, the universe takes birth within you. So, when you say 'my life,' which one are you talking about? The life of the universe or the life of one character in the dream? And you say, 'That one.' And I'm not saying conclude either way, but first admit that in your head you don't know that. You cannot know.

Some of these questions you may strive for thousands of lifetimes, but you can never, never find the answer conceptually. And that is why most philosophy has been refuted but not 100% defeated. Are you just a brain in a vat? It's been refuted but not refuted enough. Like, you can't conclusively say. Even Descartes' meditations—what is undoubtable, you see, is: 'Am I under the spell of the devil?' Not been refuted. You can't say, 'Is this just a dream?' You can't say. So, you have to decide which game you want to play. Do you want to play the game of thousands and millions before us who have gone, tried to use this conceptual understanding and feel like, 'No, I will be the one to do like the it-so-called thinkers and philosophers of our time have not succeeded'—that 'I will find the ultimate meaning of this reality. What is reality? I will discover in my head'?

Or will you take the quantum leap and follow these ones on the walls and be done with this? And I don't want to give you a carrot saying that there you will find ultimate peace, there you will be really happy, this will happen and that will happen. No marketing. Because lies are worthy enough to be let go of because they are lies. Truthful to say, even if it did not bring you any benefit. So, is there all of this that we speak about? All of this that we speak about—maybe there is some confusion about what to take metaphorically and what to take literally and what it really would mean. This is a live in your heart. What would literally mean in that way? Is there a you left to do it, or is this before the birth of you?

And so many tips you have. The masters told us—Papaji said, 'You cannot suffer.' To suffer, you need at least one thing. What is that? Need at least one thing: one piece of knowledge, one thought, one notion, one constraint. What are you without that? Open and empty. So, fundamentally, all of this is about one main misunderstanding that is the main root of all ignorance. Fundamentally, all of this is about that one main misunderstanding which is the root of all ignorance, and that is just the misidentification or the I-thought. And I've demystified all of this for you. There's like so many people search for years: 'I've been looking, I can't find the I-thought, and will I be free from here?' All this will clean them. So, any reference you make to 'I' is the I-thought. So, would I propose being...

All of this is about one main misunderstanding that is the main root of all ignorance. Fundamentally, all of this is about that one main misunderstanding which is the root of all ignorance, and that is just the misidentification or the 'I' thought. And I've demystified all of this for you. There's like so many people search for years: 'I've been looking, I can't find the I thought' and 'Will I be free from here?' All this will clean them. So any reference you make to 'I' is the 'I' thought. So would I propose being open and empty if I felt like it is not possible? Open and empty from the 'I' thought. When you're open and empty, you cannot make a reference to yourself. And I may be like super dumb, but I'm not that dumb that I would spend 11 years of my life proposing something which is just not possible. It is like consciousness speaks with consciousness, and consciousness is 'No way, Jose, I can't just like open.'

Not only is it completely possible, it is very simple. It is very simple. Only the mind is complicated. So only pick up the conclusion that you can pick up from now till now. Only pick up that conclusion that you can pick up from now till now. Not even time to conclude nothing, because nothing is a nonsense conclusion. It's useful only in its power to negate and not to propose anything. Hmm. And whatever you may see after 'but now' is just basically 'I says often, but me.' No such 'me' has ever been born. So no thinking about 'How am I getting it? Have I got it?' No thinking. There is no enlightenment, there is no freedom, nothing. Just forget about it; it's all spiritual marketing.

I know, like, he's saying it because then, only then, will really be enlightened if you forget about enlightenment. Just nothing. Because all these words are hopeless unless you live in the unborn. All of these words that are sprouting from the unborn, they attempt to point. But if you're just using them as seeds in your garden of the mind... so can you see the hypnosis of the mind? That in which God takes birth, that in which God takes birth takes itself to be something so tiny and limited. So you come to satsang because you have this video game addiction, because you take yourself too much to be that character in Fortnite or whatever. 'Will this help me shoot better?' What are you talking about? Wake up! 'Ah, if I wake up, then I will have God more than the game.' No, wake up! Who are you? Does that one have a name in Fortnite, the main character? Yes, Mr. X or Mr... you're not the main character in this story. You're not a character in this story at all.

Whether you just keep going on these missions like James Bond or Jack Reacher or something, just 'I have to do this, I have to become free, I have to make money, I have to get relationship, I have to...' And who is that offering the mission? The world may offer, but without the mind's push, there is no value. Even in the movies they say, 'Your mission, if you choose to accept it,' isn't it? So it is not organic in the world. You're hypnotized, but in the spell of a thought you are. You can say, 'No, no, I'm like little bit only going to be in this well, in that thought, and the rest I'll be...' Can't do it. 'I will take myself a little bit because of practical life, because of my work.' I can't send... like God can't send email for that? He gave birth to a person because if God would send email himself, then why would he give birth to a person like that? All the nonsensical ideas.

The one that is doing these trillions of things apparently doing everyone can't run. The minute you say, 'No, no, but this or this I have to,' that is your trait, that is your dream, that is your attachment. If you say that 'For this I have to take myself to be a person,' I can't help you. So basically then, just giving up in front of the ego. This is when I'm stuck. And it's all right if you can at least identify and then be honest about that. That's fine. You may say that 'When it comes to my family, I'm content,' and I've said that over the years a few times. But then don't see it... see it as a gravitation, see it as an attraction, see it as a pull, but don't make justification for you. Don't try to squeeze it into the truth. See that design of the mind is to try and propose compelling things to you. So the mind will try to retain the throne and try to redeem the throne by saying, 'Yeah, I got this, I can help you with this.' So it tries to retain godhood through this, in this way.

That's why the scenery says surrender is the easiest and it's the most difficult. And you can fight with the series. That's why I said the sages, when you surrender, how much do you know? You cannot know in your head. And as you know everything, it is possible for one to come to satsang, or even without coming to satsang, to just surrender. And they could surrender to a rock, okay? It doesn't matter. It's fun. It doesn't have to be a guru or something like that. Could surrender to a rock, let go of the ego, and hand over their existence to existence. And all the greatest knowledge they could be spouting next instant. How does that happen? Because the only thing getting in your way is egotism, is ignorance, it's false knowledge. You see vastness, whatever conditioning, whatever word you want to call it, that is the only thing ever.

So if you're empty in that moment you surrendered, this rock is there, it came from Arunachala or whatever, whatever mythology you want to build behind that, you see. Yes, who are you? I can't find myself. 'I' thought is wrong. What witnesses all of this? I do. But that 'I' cannot itself be perceived. All that which can sound so scriptural, you will see. You will see it as a matter of fact. On the other hand, if you try to squeeze this into some notion you have about yourself, forget about it. How many satsangs can make the non-existent cat free? The character will have a report card: 90% done, this much left. What are the qualifications that the cat has to have to become free?

So at best we can use tools like openness and say, 'Okay, now is consciousness playing in that expression as if it is obsessed with the notion that I must be a cat only, and there's no scope at all.' So like that childhood one told me that, 'All of this is fine, Father, but ultimately be a human.' These are also like aha moments for me, like you may have some aha moments in satsang. The ability of the mind and egotism to make everything back to its own reference point and so compelling, see? So this child sitting with me two, three years, she's just feeling like all this is to make us a better human. What you talking about? Is 'human' not another word for 'person'? This is a nicer sounding one maybe, because we sort of said 'person, person, person' so much in satsang. 'Ultimately all of this is about being human.' A better human has nothing to do. It doesn't matter if you're a cow, a human, a dog; it doesn't matter. In a way it does, because those ones at least they're troubling themselves in other ways.

Just trust me, my children, that you will lose nothing of value. You will lose nothing of value if you let go of ignorance. Yeah, wherever you feel comfortable. Guruji has another way of saying that. He says nobody's ever come to the Self and said, 'No, no, give me my person back, I don't want this.' Nobody has come to self-realization and regretted it. Have you heard a story like that? Is there something so great about the person and your ego, then why would you not miss it after you find yourselves? If it helps you so much, if it gives you a frame of reference which is useful, allows you to run your life, how is it that whether it is who has become enlightened one, you see, it doesn't matter all these external circumstances? Whether I'm a king or a pauper, it doesn't matter. What is it about?

So are they fooling us? It's just like children sometimes play this game. You went and went into a room which was released or something like that, then come lose your identity. Actually it's a horrible thing, but they're just playing because they lost it, they also want others to also suffer like that. If you're going to pre-empt everything with an individual frame of reference and then say, 'Okay, now from this frame of reference show me God,' I can't do it. To show you God is simplest, but then not when you are around. You have to go. You keep playing, 'But what about me? But what about me? But what about me?'

Sometimes I speak about these 10, 11 years as if it's a long time. It's nothing. For consciousness, it's nothing. We can spend 10 million lifetimes in this groundhog day type satsang. Physical consciousness for yourselves, time is nothing. So I may keep saying God, God, God, God, but if you insist on seeing God in me and God in me, because hiding in that 'God in me' is the 'me,' is the one. And God is relevant only because for you... in all these Hindi movies we have these dramatic situations, 'What is the point of God? It doesn't even help me.' Who told you the point of God is to help 'me'? This is the biggest misunderstanding. The truth must help the false? The truth must perpetuate the false? No such deal is ever made. 'If God was good, then God would help me.' Because of course you have the good ideas, nobody else can. You know what is good.

Thinking about what you just said, it's kind of almost like from childhood programmed to think like that, and you go to God for each other.

Exactly. It takes a while. Exactly. Actually, the de-programming itself doesn't take time. Like, it does take time, but really it doesn't get tired. But the invitation to enter back into the programming, you see, can seem compelling. So what happens is just like you can see, suppose this was the Matrix or something and you see, 'Ah, it's all a computer program.' You can see it, but like that character in the Matrix, was it... oh yeah, at least here, yeah, he's just like, 'I can have my wine and eat my steak, so what if it's not real?' And that's... so I feel like that is the crunch question in satsang. That is the kind of satsang. Like, he may have started the quest for truth feeling like it will help him, but the moment he realized that this is going to take out everything that he takes himself to be... like, I'm sure, I mean, there was a time I used to feel like that. Since I'm not getting it, I might as well go.

Yes, it can be frustrating. Spiritual seeking can be really frustrating. Research and so much, and many times I don't know how many times I must have given up all of this. There's no really... make these senses work or make anything work. Like, everything is just already okay. Do anything. Don't make intuition to head to mouth. Okay, let's go from intuition to mouth. Even if it sounds like complete gibberish, don't worry. This for me to taste this phenomenal world, and there's no personal sense necessary at all. Let's do this. Don't make excuses for it. There is no valid reason ever to leave your intuition for conceptual campaign at some point. Can you smell the... all of you have to get used to this. Just changed.

Otherwise this just becomes like a discourse. No, you come in here on swamiji for two hours, now back to our life. So while it appears I can say something is coming is true, say that till it is apparent that how you know what you're sharing is because you are saying it from the heart, and you know that you're saying it from the heart because who you are is apparent to you. Till then, don't rush. Don't rush. Life is in service to you. You never have to rush to catch it or keep up with everything. So how do you know? Anytime the mind will pose like that, like that, 'How do you know it's truly from the heart?' Because only intuitively you know yourself. You can never know yourself through your head. So you're being intuitive and you're not bright enough to use both the instruments at the same time. So as you are in the apparency of self-knowledge, whatever unfolds from your mouth, you see through action, whatever is from your heart is true knowledge. In fact, is satsang. That's all that satsang is. But if you're caught in the idea of duality and 'What do I have to say?' and 'What will they think?' and all of this stuff, and it's all mental tactics. It is not the heart. It's about if it's about convincing, if it's about making an argument, you see.

It’s not bright enough to use both the instruments at the same time. So as you are in the apparency of self-knowledge, whatever unfolds from your mouth, you see through action. Whatever is from your heart is true knowledge; in fact, is satsang. That's all that satsang is. But if you're caught in the idea of duality and 'What do I have to say?' and 'What will they think?' and all of this stuff, it's all mental tactics. It is not the heart. If it's about convincing, if it's about making an argument—you see, convincing argument so that somebody's concept may change to another concept—all that is mindstorm. You don't need to do any of them. Just remain in the apparency of self-knowledge. These words are now approachable or no? Remain in the apparency of self-knowledge. I know I said if I hear them objectively, they sound a bit intimidating, but for all of you, you've been here long enough. So remain where self-knowledge is apparent to you and let life flow from there. That is being intuitive; that is living from the heart.

Tell me if there's any here. Just follow up on my question from my kid and all the time. So I had a six-hour session with him yesterday and just happened to sit in the session and went for six hours. And the only difference was there was no narrative. Why is it taking so long? Why is he taking multiple? Looking for a positive outcome was the drama that I was calling him and transferring it to him. I felt it's important to spot that. It's not about a cheat code to laughing. I'm open and empty. Look at wow, it's not about the outcome. Just the spaciousness is the presence of God itself. That's where we invite God into our life.

So if coming to innocence, coming to complete innocence, seems like coming to a complete foolishness, do it. Do it. If it seems like if somebody comes and asks you, 'What are you trying to get out of this? Why are you doing it?' and you say, 'I don't know,' if that seems like foolishness, be foolish. Be fully foolish. Don't be scared of these mind tricks. 'You're being so stupid.' Yeah, I'm stupid. 'You don't know.' I don't know. You just don't bother with these judgments. Don't allow anything to push these buttons. What does the world think? What is my mind? So knowledge is troubling you, and only knowledge is troubling. Be foolish. So the misunderstanding is that all this must be like super intelligent and super smart or something. Foolish. Be full of foolishness. Taking it too far, enjoying it too much. Point. Guruma used to read the tarot cards, but I would always get the Fool.

I used to read the newspaper pretty delightfully for most of my life. Nine years ago I stopped reading. I haven't really spoken ten audios other than one piece here and there. Yeah, I still wonder, is that like Apple TV? Is it? I haven't read all like I was—I used to read news, the newspaper, like everything, you know, everything. Yeah, and I used to feel like that is how you keep yourself well-informed. All of this I haven't read for many years, five, six years.

But it's not a sign either way. Like there are photos of Bhagavan reading the newspaper. You just—we don't have to define what it is, no? Because the reason it comes up is you're hanging out with people who are so-called normal, right? You are the abnormal guy. Here to there, they're just like, 'Look at these guys, you know, we are made for God and they are wasting their life.' So I never fall into the trap of conceptual conclusions in the garb of feeling. 'It's not a thought, it's a feeling.' It's nonsense. Can you distinguish once one feeling has—any feeling, if you are so observant, can you tell me if the same feeling has come?

It brings up the twice of like what—what even brings up? No, I'm just like contemplating because like if we didn't have language at the beginning, if we didn't have the labels for any emotion or feeling to begin with at all, what would it be?

Yeah, really. Yeah, just like in the play of this world everything changes. That realm of what we call feelings, emotions, sensation, perception, also included in there. So just like every moment is unique, you will never step into this river twice—the river of this experience. So this already changed, already changed. In the same way, every layer of your existence is like that, except that which is the witness of it. So when I ask, 'How do you know?' you may say, 'I notice it.' You don't. You may say, 'I'm just feeling it,' because you know I'm going to pick on the thought and then make you expose it to this. So you may find excuses for thoughts in the garbs of feeling. You're not feeling it; you're just thinking. You're thinking that that is what you're feeling. So meet your feeling. Don't deny it. You deny it with the label that you use. The minute you are able to construct it and say, 'This is what I'm feeling,' it's already gone. You've mutilated it.

So except just saying this is full question that, except lightly, softly, conversationally, just to communicate, you may say. If you start becoming super conclusive about 'This is what it is, what I'm feeling, this is what is,' it's not true. That's how the mind's hypnosis works. Our mind will say that. That's why I said accept your feeling, meet your feeling fully. Don't deny it, because your mind will say that what I am saying is a denial of feeling. Not at all saying you must deny. But when you interpret a sensation to mean what you're conveying it to mean, do you really know? Do you have that much clarity in your seeing? And is it interpretable in that way? So don't let the mind create these diversionary tactics. I am telling you that this is the only problem: mind, ignorance, taking yourself to be that which you are not. Your mind will tell you everything else is the problem. It will not spare anything or anyone in the process. Do not spare anything or anyone in the process to retain its dominance.

This is the perception. Your mind can say, 'This is a book about black magic,' and you can believe. Nothing can stop you. Your power of belief is unlimited. But the good news is that so is your power of disbelief. Nothing can force you to be. So it is never in the perception itself. You cannot identify without your permission. What happens many times is because the mind is always rushing you, you know, 'No, no, decide, what are you going to do?' It happened like that that we used to go on morning walk with Guruji a few times in Tiruvannamalai. So what would happen is that these beggars have this tactic in Tiruvannamalai that they just crowd you. So please, you feel like—you feel a bit intimidated. So Guruji also did that a few times, like a couple of times. Thirdly, he said, 'No, just calm down. Yeah, you don't have to.' This is a very good representation. We didn't have to. We could have just walked past yourself.

This tendency to rush is mental, and then later in the rush you don't realize. So you just say, 'But it happened so fast. Just like before I knew it, I was already in identification. I don't have the choice.' You see what a party the mind would have the minute you buy into the notion that all this that the masters are telling you—every master has told you—you don't have the choice, it just happens. You see? God doesn't have the choice anymore. Who doesn't have to tell us? So don't get into a rush then. If you got into a rush and you've claimed a position, don't—like you don't have to make it true or right. I've seen it happen over the years so much. Somebody like—they could just feel like an attack, but once you've said it and then people are disagreeing with that, we just feel like—so see, all of these are mind tricks. Why I am pointing these things out are these are the mind tricks.

So if you said something, it came out, somebody says you, 'Everything you said is wrong.' How could you? Oh yeah, I don't know. Be open like that. It's okay. You don't have to—like the free one is not like—don't make any projection of yourself as some sage who's just like, 'Everything comes out of my mouth, it's like Satya,' and then you know, 'I'm a prediction engineer, whatever I say one day you will see.' If you feel like some words came out of your mouth and then you were like, 'Oh, oh, but that is the truth now because...' and why is it true? Because actually I don't care about it, I just happen to say it also. Now I'm stuck in that position. So being a little soft about that. Soften nothing so important. You'll start to notice all these tricks and tactics of the mind, and you'll notice that that one keeps you in this limited position.

As I feel sometimes like Krishna has a very beautiful representation of God. Very beautiful, just playful, open. One day he said like that, like that. Full reverence and respect goes to Krishna. So don't be attracted to taking positions, especially things that you think you know. There's nothing in that. You will not get anything in there. You only trouble yourself. And if all of you—right and wrong and good and bad and stuff like that—it's impossible. It's impossible. But your heart will guide you. I'm not saying that, 'Oh, everything is okay,' like exploitation is okay and bad behavior is okay. I'm not saying any of that. I'm just saying that don't be mental about it. Your heart is good enough to guide you with this. Just use that as a tool to soften up a bit. Then the mind can't win because he's trying to sell you the thought and you—if you just somewhere this remembrance comes at this point.

Otherwise what happens is the reverse. When you're super right, you're willing to fight with God, you're willing to fight with everything, you're willing to—and it's usually just the mind's trick to how you see, how to retain his dominance, how to retain being on the throne. Because if you're right, it's not going to go away. You don't have to rush into it. But you'll notice many times that righteousness comes at the same time. So rushing is mental. Even like righteousness in the form of like the victim, you know, if they did me wrong or something like that. I'm not saying that the other one is always right, but I'm not saying that that is the conclusion you must come to, that 'Oh, I'm feeling super right, the other one must be right.' I'm not saying that. I'm just saying soften nothing. Like we don't have to be like—you have to also conclude that I am right. And we've seen that, you know, we were so convinced about so many things, you see, especially in spirituality, so much hocus pocus we've been convinced about. So now we look back. So if we—and we were feeling so right in those times as well. So why can't this be one of those? We don't really know.

Of course I've given you the main instruments, main tool anyway, so you can trust your intuition without worrying about judgment of right and wrong. Because intuition is like Krishna, which is not right. You do this so that your life will go this way. Just like, do this. Like every day I come to satsang, I don't know what I'm going to say, you know? I just—it starts talking and I don't know. One day it may say something which will just hurt everyone and then, you know, I don't know. That's a risk you have to take with intuition. You can't be attached. You can't be attached. But remember that you can only conclude that you're following your heart then who you are is apparent to you. Because the mind is a very good poser. In fact, its job is to pose as if it is you. It's your best friend, it's your guide, it's your savior, it's your guru. Some of us have the guru mind also in this life. Don't believe your next thought. It's heard everything in satsang. So the spiritual aspect of your mind is not your intuition. I joke about this. The mind can also say it. It'll be like a thought to say, 'Don't do that, my child, come here,' like that. You can smell it. Can you smell them? It'll even come with a byproduct. It can even create a byproduct due to something so that you keep doing it, but it's still in that same realm. So when in the game, if you get—if you're wearing a headset and you get shot in the game and the headset shakes, you see, it's all part of the programming of the game. But you cannot say that this created that or this there's a this thing for...

It’ll be like a thought to say, 'Don't do that, my child. Come here.' Like that. You can smell it. Can you smell them? It'll even come with a byproduct. It can even create a byproduct due to something so that you keep doing it, but it's still in that same realm. So when in the game, if you're wearing a headset and you get shot in the game and the headset shakes, you see, it's all part of the programming of the game. But you cannot say that this created that or this. There's a thing for it: the cause of all things is consciousness alone. Because otherwise, what happens is that we may feel like the mind has so much power to do a lot of stuff. This is how consciousness is playing. Sometimes the whole Leela collaborates with the mind.

Like somebody sitting feeling super tantrum-y with me, the most handsome boy may appear and, you know, just like we are here, you know, 'I found mine, what a twin flame.' They'll start watching something on YouTube; they'll be like, 'Wow, look at this guy.' You know, it's all like distraction. All that distraction may come and just like, 'Oh, I should follow this one. Look at how he's saying. He's saying you don't need to do the inquiry, you know, because inquiry is also doership.' One child actually left like seven or eight years back. She was very close to me and then she just started watching this one video and she's like, 'All those who are telling you to inquire are telling you to become the doer.' This is like, no, no, I can't. So all this comes. All this can come. So all these distractions may come.

But I've given you the tools. If you really feel like you're open and empty, not that you're taking on a new position, then that is satsang. It doesn't matter what instrument it is; you can listen to anybody. It doesn't matter. So the best relationship... sometimes... one boy said, he said, 'Father, I don't know about enlightenment and all that, but anybody who comes to your satsang definitely finds a partner.' And I don't know after that day if anybody found it. They must. So it is not that the mind is that powerful. Isn't consciousness playing in that way that everything that can possibly make you deluded shows up, and the mind uses that as evidence? Stay in the apparency of self-knowledge. If it feels like effort, if it feels difficult, it's worth it. Do therefore, make therefore, because the mind will trick you and say it is too difficult. Say, 'Okay, even more reason to do it.' It will project as if the most effortless thing in the universe is the one that is the most difficult.

Now, what can come to shake you out of it? What stimulus, what perception can come that can force you to snap out of it? Do you have to sit like a yogi and only then you are free? Do you have to hide yourself from the world? Mind can only distract you if you want. I am something able to dangle a carrot at all, otherwise? And freedom can be a great wanting—not a great in a good way. Very good. You're being very open and empty now. Just throw in a 'Who am I?' here and there every three times, you know, and then make your perfect thing. Then say all this because I've done all this nonsense. Yes, no, everything. Don't you want to be free? No. I want anything from this husband or bad, good? It can't tempt you then. Don't you want to be a better disciple? No, nothing. The salesman is selling because everything it will use in the sales tactics. So whether you say no, you don't have to say, 'I'm listening.' Just remain empty of that position.

Who is this offer for? Who should become the best disciple or the most enlightened? And you will struggle with this because the 'but me,' 'but my problems,' 'but my freedom journey with my guru,' 'with my satsang,' 'but my something'—all this will come. So one boy said, 'Oh, I'm happy to come to satsang with Ananta, but as long as he is clear that he is not my teacher.' My teacher things like cricket and football, two different games. How to reconcile them? Should not be confused that by my coming here, he should not feel like he's my teacher or something. So till we are not able to change—or it's not that we're not able to, if we're not willing to change the central protagonist of the narrative, whatever the rest of the story may be is irrelevant, completely irrelevant. If we are not willing to change the protagonist of the story, the rest of the story doesn't matter at all. It could be the most glorious or the most terrible. My teacher, my God, my life, my freedom, me.

So, okay, you're just talking about this. Desire gives you suffering. When any desire arises, you want to go near it, you want to achieve it, and you do, then you're happy, isn't it? You may think that it is the object of desire that makes you happy, but really it is the momentary absence of desire that follows immediately after the satisfaction of a desire. The moment of emptiness makes you happy. Being empty of desire is happiness. Return to your own source and you are happy. This is the trick of happiness. It's tricky because then if you say that 'I will be empty so that I can be,' you have to be empty of that desire also. You can never experience the happiness of the emptiness by trying to get the happiness from the emptiness. When you try to guess exactly the person, 'Why am I doing this? So that I can be happy. Why do I want God? So that I can be happy. I don't want the truth so I can be happy.' Not for truth. That's the only way to get to God. So God, see?

So another way of saying that is to be empty of reasoning. Do you need a reason to find God? Do you need a reason at all for anything? You may feel like our life is so logical and plays that way, but it doesn't. If I say, 'What is the actual reason you are here?' I promise you whatever answer you will give me is nonsense. If you can spot it, very good. If you can't spot it, it's a worthy contemplation. Hey, why are you here? It's pure garbage. Why am I here is pure garbage. This child said something, I said to her, 'I don't even know why I'm here. Where am I? Why does this body have a shower at 4:45 and come into this strange environment and share all of this? For what?' No idea. Is it quote-unquote working? No idea. Am I saying blah blah blah but everyone's hearing bleeblibly? I don't know at all.

So you're here, I'm here. But if you claim reason, I show you garbage can. You can throw your reason. Your mind props you up and then chops you down. 'So I'm really here because I only want the truth, really.' And tomorrow it will beat you up with the same thing. 'You're not really here for the truth, you know, you're just like... you should go.' Anything it can make a thing and then dance with you like this. Use it to beat yourself up, use it to beat everyone else up. Once you have a filter like that, 'You must be here for the truth,' then you judge yourself only for the truth. When satsang is happening, I find it very nice to just sit. Is that to be here just for the truth? I don't know. So none of these proddings from the masters are meant to be sort of like judgment things. Like, how will you judge? Are you here only for the truth? You know, you can't. On what basis will we say?

And then if we say you, yes, like you're just taking a position: 'I'm here only for the truth.' Okay, provisionally all this can be said, but don't take any of these slides seriously. And if you ask most of you, you say, 'I don't know, it just happened. It just happened.' So don't put your life into a sequence of cause and effect. It's the biggest waste of time. I don't know why I'm here. How can I expect you to know why? You say why anything? What is the why? Why don't you know what 'I' is? So this is the human condition. We've allowed ourselves to get plagued with all of these questions, but we'll not really use even our intellect to investigate it fully. So either you use your intellect intellectually like a Descartes, or don't use it at all.

So if your intellect plays you with a 'why' question, then ask yourself, like, what is the 'why'? What is reason? What is meaning? What is cause and effect? What is time? Why go halfway? Why go at the surface saying, 'On the surface of water I am seeing these shapes'? What is this? What is water? So either hundred percent or zero. This is half measures which... I don't know, I just want to read the cloud patterns and determine my life. If you're going to be intellectual, then find out what is the meaning of meaning. What does meaning mean? Okay, I've just been rambling on.

So, take a breath. I spoke for two hours. How long? If I give you all truth, tell me really, what are the obstacles? Being headless or in the heart, what stops you? Or does anything? It feels like if I just go exactly by the way without making any deviation... no. Either you can just follow what I'm saying or you can be like Frank Sinatra. But the thing is that can sound like, 'Okay, now I don't care if it sounds like that,' but the mind can resist that strongly because they sound like they're making a cult or something. But this is the pointer: don't change the words of it. Follow it as it is.

I feel like that would be actually very helpful, but the mind still has some sway over us, which is... no, no, but it was better for me if... usually it takes us down so many times. I hear a report, like, 'Father, you often say like that.' I say that the mind can come in there and, you know, offer you as a thought and as a reminder often, but it may be very different from what I'm saying actually.

You know, so one tip I'll give all of you is that if I said to you, 'One fork is lying over there, can you give me some water?' So this is the thing: before you can even contemplate, you must pick the right instrument. Because if you just go with the mind to 'Who am I?' then that's a never-ending journey. Or any question. We feel like when we are contemplating, what is the instrument we are using? It's very, very important. Like the first thing before you say, 'I asked myself, I've been looking at this question,' with what? Yoga is the contemplative power; it is not a mental path.

So what is the contemplative path? What are the three steps in Jnana Yoga always? Yeah, so when we look at... so first is to hear. So you come to satsang, you hear the pointer. So the Guru will obviously provide you something that will shake you up or ask you a question that you have to contemplate, give you a Zen koan, whatever. And then you are meant to do Manana on it. Now, the Manana on it sounds like you have to be mental. That's not the contemplation that you have to do. You have to allow the question to sprout in your heart. Allow the question to sprout in your heart.

So like we've been playing with this one, because some of you have had mixed sort of responses to this: Were you born? Will you die? So the question like that, which you don't feel like you know the answer, is very helpful. Very helpful for a contemplation. So the master may say, 'Okay, really contemplate this question: Was I born?' Now, if this was a classroom project, you would say, 'I'll Google and say, okay, now this philosopher said this and this saint said that.' And all of this. And the master could not obviously have said, 'Okay, now go and think about whether you were born,' because in your thoughts is what? Just the concepts you have learned. There's nothing fresh or useful going to come out of that process.

So the process of contemplation, of Manana, is the process of just allowing intuitive inquiry to happen. So you in a way hold on to a question, but you don't give it to the mind or you don't bother with the mind's responses. And every answer is revealed this way. Every answer is revealed this way. It's only here that spirituality will not seem to be confounding and mystical and something... natural, just like fully open. So you may think of it as—and people think of it as meditation, which is not meditation. Aware of... we can say everything and get nothing. It depends on what 'of' is like, or does the 'of'...

Hold on to a question but you don't give it to the mind or you don't bother with the mind's responses, and every answer is revealed this way. Every answer is revealed this way. It's only here that spirituality will not seem to be confounding and mystical and something natural, just like fully open. So you may think of it as—and people think of it as—meditation, which is not meditation. Aware of... we can say everything and get nothing like the off. It depends on what 'off' is like, or does the 'off' create a relationship between the object and subject? In that way, it's not like that. And yet at some level we can say 'aware of everything.' It's not like a perceiver and perceived sort of 'I'm a perceiver of.' So then you can say, 'Okay, this side is the perceiver, its being is the perceiver, and the object is being perceived' like that. But for awareness, you cannot place it in any construction. Yes.

So when we use 'aware of' in the world, we use it for two different things. Like when people say, 'Hey, do you know the Bangalore starting?' 'Oh, I wasn't aware of it.' So that means that I did not know the concept of it; I was not introduced to the concept of it. Or they may say that my attention did not go on it or I haven't perceived it, but that also they say, 'I was not aware of this.' Attention has no rules and it's like with your attention you can either find it or lose it. There's nothing that it's independent of attention. That knowledge which you know independent of attention—self-knowledge—just is.

Is it helpful to have your eyes closed?

So ask yourself: are you aware now? Now with your eyes open, are you aware now? Close your eyes. Are you aware now? It's independent of anything in the realm of perception.

Maybe it's just the attention getting withdrawn.

Yeah, so attention withdrawn is a byproduct and it may seem helpful or not helpful. It doesn't matter, but it cannot bring awareness to you. Sometimes you feel like initially you may feel like, 'Until my eyes are closed, I can't even like look at the question: am I aware?' There's too much stimulus. You feel like they have to be empty of them with the tasteless taste that we enjoy so much because every other taste we get bored of. So don't make it an object of your attentive search or something. You can't do it because then you're just looking for perception. What is that which is a non-phenomenal recognition?

So to check on awareness, what tool do we have? Are you called with what instrument? What tool can we take on awareness? No tool. Then what is self-knowledge? Self-recognition is... yes, you may go like that step by step and say, 'Not this, not this, not this, nothing.' But with what invest? So with the detective, which magnifying glass can you bring to awareness? How can we come face to face with awareness? I think you are aware of it. You were there before, even before being enough to be. You're always there, all states.

Now how limited is that knowledge in the sense that can it only give you these answers that I am aware of my being? What other insight can I have?

So what is our answer about this? It doesn't have that kind of... it's so moment to moment, it's so like fresh. Yeah. No, but I'm saying that can you answer whether you were born from there? And if not from there, then what is like inquiry for an invitation for? Yeah, but what does that mean? Like how were you born? Suppose I want to know the answer to this. So in this, in a way, distilling of heart knowledge, you see, that is what the sages have attempted to do with the scriptures and sharing of satsang because they obviously don't want to share more mind stuff.

So where does the knowledge come from? If you read even the Vedas, which is the first part of the Vedas, not to be run to the end part, all right? So even in that there are some invocations, there are some things that sound very ritualistic, but they are beautiful as pointers also. What is the source of them? Because they had no instrument. There are no telescopes and magnifying glass, microscopes. So all that can be known and all the intelligence that is ever needed is already there. So which is that mental knowledge which must get priority over this? How many of you are trying to juggle both? Because that's a struggle. That juggle is a struggle.

I think there's... yeah, so what is... how are you attempting to answer it? Looking for like a concept to appear which sort of resolves it like a mathematical equation.

So don't do that. And...

I'm still unable to answer it, but then the inferential answer that comes up is I am not able to appreciate the concept of time when I go into deep awareness. Since I can't appreciate time and mindset, that means you must not have been born. They are there, therefore...

Yeah, it's good. And you asked whether you were born and you discovered that there is no such thing as time. That itself is a good... so pick the question which you feel like you're confused about and answer it. How lazy is that teacher? So this one seemed to be a common one: was it born or was I born? You all feel clear about that? You can use that. Whoever doesn't feel sitting already, Bhagwan's pose is expression also. Okay. Find out. Because many may be clear with this one, but find some Zen-type question.

No, it's already such gifts already coming. Imagine like all of you just so speaking almost scripturally, saying, 'In my inquiry I saw that there is no time.' At what time do you see that? 'I started the inquiry at seven, by eight I knew that there is no time.' Who, of course, is...