We Must Live a God Directed Life Instead of a God Assisted Life - 10th July 2024

It's like exactly like this, Father, that I see that I—there is a mistake, but and I want to repent, but it's not coming fully in my heart and it's not feeling real. It's not feeling alive.

So the process of that is the process of reasoning, the process of rationalization. So we spoke about it a few satsangs back where the mind gives us plenty of reasons to be proud and selfish. Sorry, the mind gives us plenty of reasons to be proud and selfish. So it says, 'But this is how it is. This is how I'm supposed to be.' But we have forgotten about God in those moments. So if you really check, is your heart with God or does it belong to the 'me'? And if it belongs to God, then all this will really be brought to the surface and cleaned up. And that way then you have fuel for your inquiry and you have fuel for your prayer. Who is the one that um, wants this particular thing this way? Who is the one that has to be like this, you see? If you can inquire, or if you notice for yourself that this selfishness is keeping you away from God.

So the mistake or the error or the sin is just that which you use to separate yourself from God, isn't it? If no separation is there, then there's no sin. But you can't go with your mind report card about it. The mind will say, 'Nothing, nothing is.' So how to do that? You—you will start to sense. You—all of us actually already have this even from childhood, that we start to sense which way our Atma is guiding us, which—what is pleasing to our Atma is apparent to us if we bother to look. Is—the nature of the mind is to put blinders on us. We don't bother to look, then we just run, no? We just run. That's why I keep saying, 'Don't rush, don't rush,' because the rushing thing soon gets us to a place where we just like, 'How did I get here?' you know? 'How did I get so cold in my heart? How did I get so cold in my heart?'

And um, when we don't feel that warmth in our heart, you see, we don't—and it's not a like a temperature warmth, you know what I mean? Just um, like there's a—there's a depth there. Like there's a depth there. There's a—not a dark empty room. There's a unperceivable light there. There's a gravitation that pulls you inwards, there is it? So if you're not noticing that for yourself, then you've probably gone, most likely gone with Maya. You've gone with the other force field which is constantly tugging at you. So to continue with the dog metaphors, the pet metaphors, we are like dogs on two leashes. Both are us. Which way are we going? So and that push-pull is the nature of our life. When we learn to settle and follow the call from our heart within, the longing from within our heart, you see, then we are leading the true life. When we are just following the leash of the mind, then we are being egotistical and selfish and proud.

So all the elements that we speak about: whose will do you want? Most importantly, can you be empty of your will completely? So allow yourself to be head empty and heartful. All the contentment, stability, joy, love, everything that we are looking for actually comes from there. It doesn't come from worldly objects, doesn't come from the world. And if you continue to think it comes from the world, then we continue to be trapped in Maya. We cannot escape. So the realization of who you are also is a gift of the spirit, the Atma within.

I'm seeing stuff and it does—it's not—yeah, I'm so grateful, Father.

Thank you. Beautiful. Because it's ever-deepening, isn't it? It's ever-deepening. And then there's ever-deepening also restlessness to be with Him. If you feel like you're distant from the Atma in your heart, like your insides feel dry, your nose feels like it is dried up, and then in God's light it feels replenished, you see? Like the thirst—it's filled with now holy water, that which was just dried up with Him now gets replenished by the light, or at least the waiting in front of the altar of God, it gets replenished. You can't help that. Whether you like it or not, you will be replenished if you go within. It doesn't matter, like I was saying in last satsang, that what type of darshan we have, you see? When the inside comes, we see that we are awareness itself. Whether deep love comes, whether so much compassion and kindness comes, whether you start singing His praises, so many different ways of expressing our devotion and love can come as a gift from Him itself. But that is none of our business, you see? What comes as an outcome, we want to own that. 'Oh, I saw I am pure.' What did you do to see that? Anybody can sit and ask, 'Who am I? Who am I?' What is it that you did to see that? The grace made you see it, you see? Yeah.

So there's so much pride in today's world that 'I see who I am.' What did you do to see it? So you must not fall into those traps that 'I love everyone so much, there's only love here.' What did you do to create it? So we must not fall into those traps. So those are gifts, you see, from Him, from His light in our heart. Our job is to just remain inward-facing towards Him using our prayer or inquiry. So if you're not inward-facing at all, start with ten minutes. If you're doing ten minutes, make it half an hour. If you have half an hour, then make it half the day. If I'm going too fast, you get the idea. And if it's half the day, then make it your entire day. Nothing less than that is acceptable. Yeah.

So it's like saying that if I can live in Swarga, I can live in heaven, so how much time can I spend in hell then? Why would you want to, you see? So there's never a good reason to go there. Ravana is sitting there throwing a major party. He's invited us, but it's only ten minutes, you see? 'I'll have my party and I'll come back.' You see, it doesn't work like that because you carry that, you see? The same way that you—okay, I don't want to talk too much about this, but when you are sitting in God's light, there's an overflow into even our outer life, isn't it? It just overflows in many ways like light, like love, like peace, like contentment. People will say, 'There's something about you. How are you so peaceful?' So it's all nothing we can take credit for, but it naturally overflows—the unperceivable light in our heart—as the byproduct of the overflow, the spillover in your worldly life as well. But in the same way that if you go be selfish, if you're prideful, then it shows. It shows in your outer life as well. It shows on your face. Not that we should ever make it about that, is it? Not that we should ever bother about what is showing up in the outer. But really, we cannot afford to—those who are not ignorant cannot afford to take these calls and say, 'No, no, I will just visit hell for some time and come back.' There's never a time to be selfish. There is never a time to be ungodly. There's never a time to be false and in false identity, and there's never a good enough reason for it, no matter how enlightened you may think you are.

Just be like sharing, Father, on this what you just said. How many of you have lived in God's light? And I had a nice and dramatic lesson learned on that in Ananta's whirling retreat almost a year and a half ago. And I was struggling to—the world kept falling. And then I think on day three, she came and said, 'Find that space inside you that doesn't move and everything is moving.' And it was very insightful. And then it started working, and then I could never spin before and it started happening. And it was a beautiful experience of surrender. And then the pride came like, 'Oh, you got it.' That's it. And then I would go flying on the floor so many times, and you were laughing too. But yeah, and I think last few months also you've been emphasizing that grace part, which is even when living in God is happening, I could see that same feeling creeping in like, 'Oh, okay, all that effort is paying off.' Yeah. But then you flipped it couple of months ago to say that it's only happening because of grace. So now whenever that happens, it's just like a gratitude that, 'Oh, thank you.' Where I want your help on is kind of what Amol's question was the other day as a parent. Because the tendency—like I have exploded inside myself—why do I have that tendency to claim credit for even these types of things? Its answer that is clear is it's a lifelong conditioning of achievement. Yes. And it takes work to—and this type of pushing and guidance to break those knots. What can I do as a parent when my son or daughter achieves something, without being too satsangi or whatever you want to call it, you know, like in a fake way, yet feeling encouraged and encouraging them, but not creating that same conditioning that my parents innocently for me—and I don't blame them, exactly, that's all they knew. Yeah. So is there something to share on that?

So the beauty of this is that in the discipleship of the Atma, the Atma is actually always communicating with us. And you may notice it like a—again, not perceivable, but intuitively you'll notice—is it like the light is stronger, brighter when you're on the right track, or it is getting dimmer and disconnected and you're on the wrong track? So use that as a compass. And the more you use it, the more you will get used to using that in that way. And that guides us every moment because there are no easy answers. Otherwise, there's no way to actually say that this is what we should do, this is what we shouldn't do. So you highlighted the problem well, you noticed the thing well. So now the solution has to come from the heart. So this is an example of what we are talking about, that if you don't feel like there's anything at all, then we're not growing, we're not deepening in our sadhana, we're not deepening in our insight, in our love for God to surrender every muscle, every tiniest bit of pride which is 'my way' that we want to hold on to. So that is good. That's good.

I used to say long back that we must learn to live a God-directed life, not a God-assisted one. Everybody wants a God-assisted life, but true surrender is a God-directed life. Is He the director of your movement? Is He the director of your intention? Is He the director of your focus? If you allow Him to direct your life, then it takes a completely different quality. While it may seem like you continue to live on this planet, you're actually no longer living here. You're no longer living here. You just allow Him to move you. And all the fear about that surrender is completely unfounded. What stops us from surrendering? Because we have a fear that He may not do it my way. So I may lose my money, I may lose my relationship, I may lose my body. All of that is completely unfounded because all of that happens and comes by His will alone anyway. Every moment of our life, every heartbeat that we have is because of His will. And we are scared to hand over our life to that. This is the strangeness of this thing.

The last few days there has been a distraction and it's a—it's like I noticed that I can go away from God when I swing on this side or this side. Yeah. So one is when I'm in pain, like if something is—let's say I don't have money, for example. But this one, the last few days or a week, has been a pleasurable distraction and I don't want to come back to God. So only when I come to satsang I remember God. And how to stay with God when there's so much pleasure? Yeah. It's like when you're in pain it feels still easy to come to God, but when you're in this pleasurable state, then I'm finding it very difficult.

So we must remember Kabir Ji's words. Yeah, exactly. Everyone prays in suffering, nobody prays in happiness and contentment and joy. But if you were to, then why would suffering have to come? Like now, huh? Like now, the last few days there has been swaying on that pleasurable side. So even then, pray. Yes, especially then, pray. By now all of us are very well aware because we've lived enough to see the roller coaster of life. Every high has a low. Every high has a low. So if you can pray in the highs, then the lows don't have to come like that. Or when the lows come, they don't feel like lows because you're just cradled in God's love. So this can move in whichever way and it doesn't feel like that we are on that roller coaster anymore. Our happiness, our joy, we are grateful for to God, saying, 'Thank you for giving me this in my life, and I know it's completely Your grace that this happened.' And then when we are sad, we are suffering also, we bring it to God and say, 'Please help me, please have mercy on me.' There's never any reason to oscillate away from Him because He is the giver of all the blessings also, all the good things also.

So the mind tries to say that if I go to God—like many of you children have this thing—'I'm not going to tell Father because the Father will just, you know, He'll just mess it up.' So what is happening when something is just avoiding being grounded? Something is just avoiding being grounded and still and stable because we want to—that excitable energy makes us feel like we are winning, everything is good, you see? We can make life as a person work out. And then what happens? If we keep thinking that we are making life as a person work out, then we don't recognize that we are in Ravana mode. Because Ravana said, 'Why do I need God?' or 'Why should I bow down to God? I'm good. I'm making this happen for myself. What did God do for me?'

So we must break out of the cycle. Like you said, we were talking about this few weeks back or last week, but when we are finding this worldly, material pleasure, then we are like, 'Yeah!' And then as soon as we become even slightly sick, we become the most humble. As soon as there is a little bit of pain, then we become very humble. So this oscillation we have to break. Otherwise, this life is full of these ups and downs of pleasure and pain. That's classical. That's the classical psychology, classical everything, that it's just fluctuating between the two ends of pleasure and pain. So if we fluctuate along with that, then our life is fully topsy-turvy. So we find a stability in God's presence, in God's love, and then the roller coaster doesn't seem like we are on it. We become a witness of that. But when pleasure is there, we want to be like the one, you see? We want to be the experiencer. We think that we are the doer, we think we are the experiencer. We fall into every trap possible in the human condition when we think that things are working for us. So those who can remember God and remember to be grateful to God in those times, then they will escape the clutches of Maya. They will escape the clutches of this oscillation.

The same thing that is giving pleasure now, yeah, I'm very well aware that this has the potential to give me pain few months later, or maybe, you know, it's coming. But still, knowing that, I want to indulge in this distraction.

Exactly. And all of us, all of us have this problem. So that's what gives us fuel for our inquiry. You can ask yourself, 'Who is the one who wants this? Who is the one who wants this? Who is that? Who is the one that wants that pleasure and not turn towards God?' The false one. So false one equals suffering. If not now, then tomorrow. Definitely tomorrow. But why can we not be with God when God is the light of this entire universe? Why can't we trust Him to keep us happy and joyful and peaceful? So then that way we get out.

That's what gives us fuel for our inquiry. You can ask yourself: Who is the one who wants this? Who is the one who wants this? Who is that? Who is the one that wants that pleasure and not turn towards God? The false one. So, false one equals suffering. If not now, then tomorrow—definitely tomorrow. But why can we not be with God when God is the light of this entire universe? Why can't we trust Him to keep us happy and joyful and peaceful? That way, we get off this treadmill of constantly seeking things outside. You know, for many years, and maybe in moments like this it'll ring true, but for so many years I have talked about the fact that Maya will make us feel like we are winning. Otherwise, nobody will be interested in playing, you see? So, it has to first give us this idea that we are winning, or the possibility to remain like this is there, and then, yeah, then the suffering comes. If it is good for us, it comes from God. If it is auspicious, it comes from God. If it is meant to be, it comes from God.

So that 'sukhi,' that always happy, always content state, doesn't always feel like pleasure, because pleasure sometimes has this excited quality about it, you see? It has this very excited sort of quality about it; it feels very addictive. It feels alluring. So, when we get a taste of that, it feels like we tasted blood and we don't want to go back to the sattvic sort of shanti-shanti sort of contentment. But, you know, on a lighter note, that's why we had satsang. We were having satsang once in two weeks; these kids used to come once in two weeks. But I realized that in the gap of two weeks, the change I would see in them in satsang, that whole thing would be more or less discarded in two weeks. So, we said we need to do it more often.

So, use this opportunity that you're here now. When you're here now, you can be lucid, you can be quiet, you can observe these things. Like you said, 'I know what's coming.' Maybe it was not that apparent when you're not in satsang. So, use that to just find that anchor of God's light now and not leave Him. Then you are not leaving satsang, whether you left this room or not. Find His feet right now in satsang. This is your opportunity. And then don't leave Him. And when you do—because all of us do—the intention should be to never leave Him, but when we do, we just rush back quickly.

Are you noticing for yourself the rationalization from the mind is preventing you from being with God? If you notice that, then you know where the trickster, the serpent, is lying, you see? The serpent is lying. So, if you notice that, then it can still grab you. Use the opportunity of satsang also to notice the reasoning why something sounds sensible—that I should leave God and be worldly. What can make that rational or sensible is purely nonsense. But when we are in that mood, it can seem rational. It can seem like, 'Just for now' or 'It's just for today.' We can start speaking for God: 'God is not oppressive that way; He wants me to be happy,' you see? Like that. So, we can start rationalizing on His behalf. Is He telling you that? If He's telling you that, then it's fine. And how can He tell you? If you're not hearing the words, you can sense the unperceived light, or at least you can sense the spillover, the overflow from that presence. All of us can. All of us know in our heart.

You say that what you do in the sand is more important than what you do in... this is also sand?

Yes, but this is sand which looks like it's a mirage. So, it looks like it is full of joy and pleasure, but it doesn't have to be a mirage. It doesn't have to be a mirage if you remember what I said about the 'me,' you see? If you are grounded in God's presence, then everything is truly an oasis; there is no mirage, whether outwardly it's a desert or outwardly whatever it may be. So, it's quite simple. It's not easy, but it's quite simple. You have to turn to God at the quickest possible opportunity and you have to stay there. And as you stay there, then you allow Him to unfold your outer life. Just like He is the most loving parent, so why will He not want the child to be fully happy? What has He invented pain and pleasure for? He invented them for us only to taste. But when we are with Him, then He will give them to us in the right quantity.

When we want to grasp, you see... then I'm going to use another Aslan metaphor. Aslan has no idea how much he has eaten, so you can keep feeding him, you keep feeding him, he'll keep eating. So, as parents, we have to control. We have to say... for those who are confused, Aslan is the new baby pet dog we have adopted. And it's famous about Golden Retrievers that they have no 'stop' switch when it comes to eating. But as parents, then we know that this much, a bowlful, is enough, or a handful is enough, something, you see? In the same way, if God is our parent and He loves us more than any worldly parent ever, then we have to trust His recipe for our life. Then we become for ourselves... this is why we don't turn. We feel like, 'This I have to do for myself because I know exactly what I want.' That is when we follow our individual will over God's will. And we presume too much that, 'Oh, but if I remain like that, then He will not want me to have this,' or 'He will want me to have this.' We can't presume these things.

So, notice these mind tricks which prevent you from being with God. Use this as an opportunity to trump the trump card of the mind. Because when these situations come—and hopefully they're not regular everyday situations—we must use these opportunities. If you have that awareness now—and I don't mean it is pure awareness we speak of—but if you're noticing it now, that it can get you and you don't want to turn towards God, then use that as an opportunity. The mind has played its real conspiracy now. And how you deal with it, how you deal with it will help you to go deeper in the love for God. So, use that as a great opportunity that you have now.

Father, it's such a switch. The last one week or more, maybe eight, ten days, it's a different world in comparison to before that, you know? It's not that I'm enjoying this. It is alluring, but it's also very tiring.

Yes, thank God for that. Thank God it is tiring, because if we continue to be worldly and not get tired, then we will not turn so easily. There are many of our brothers and sisters in the world who are living in a worldly way but are very tired, but they keep finding motivation and all of these things to tire themselves more and more instead of looking for a deeper solution, which is to come into the discipleship of the Atma within, you see? So, can you say that in the last eight, ten days you've been a disciple of the Atma?

No.

So, then you have to cover up for the curriculum now before that log builds up too much. Because then what happens is that a worldly life is just like the myth of Sisyphus. You carry this rock up the hill thinking it's going to get you something, then you go to sleep, it comes back down, then you carry it back up. So, you want to escape that treadmill as quickly as possible and return to your true place where it doesn't control your life—what is happening in the outer. If you handed a remote control over to something in the outer, that means that we have handed it away from God, from our true guide, our true teacher, who is the Satguru presence within, the Atma within. So, use this opportunity to transcend this. Notice the trick, you see? Notice it and say, 'I'm not going to fall for this.' If you fall for it, then just return. When you notice, just return.

Because it's that age-old story, and we must never believe that this time is going to be different. Since time immemorial, it is the same story. And again, I'm reemphasizing this point that we must not be mental about either way. Yes, no, maybe—not be mental about it. Allow God to unfold it. The younger ones in the satsang, and it's natural in youth, that the propensity to rush is more. At that age, probably the propensity to rush... what is that old song? 'Wise men say only fools rush in.' So, don't rush. If something is meant to be, then God has made it for you and it's not going anywhere. Why do you have to rush? If something is meant to be, then who has gifted it to us? Why do we have to go grasping?

I'm not able to pray, Father.

It will take a few days to... because if you immerse yourself in the world, it carries like an aftertaste. But at least you recognize that. Because what can also happen otherwise is that you can have the sense that 'I'm actually very good.' You can have this, and then when you come to satsang, you notice that the temperature feels a little different. And then you say, 'What is the right temperature? Where am I supposed to be?' Then you can notice the contrast. And that which maybe earlier was seeming like even an attack in some way can then be seen like, 'Okay, that's what's happening.'

It's very tiring, Father, because it's like you have not eaten sugar for a month and then suddenly you have a bite of sugar. It hits you and it's such a restless energy. I haven't felt like this in a long time and it's so tiring, but I want to be in it.

So, if you've eaten sugar, then also thank God for bringing that in your life and then say that it's all Your grace, whatever has happened. And say, 'Sorry if I allowed my personal doership to get a hold of this, allowed my own desire to get a hold of this. Now I surrender it to You.' And if you feel like, 'I'm too weak to fully surrender it,' then say, 'Please help me to be able to come to the point of full trust in You.' You see, when are we not able to fully surrender? When we don't have full trust in God, which is the most absurd thing. Every breath right now, we could fall into zillion molecules if it was not God keeping us together. So, that's the most strange thing, to not trust God fully. But that is what the ego literally means: that we go our way, 'my way.' That's a classical biblical story. The whole Bible has that story a hundred times. You start right from the beginning; we lose our innocence when we decide for ourselves where we want to go, what is right for us, what is wrong for us. And then we don't really want to hear. When we're in that mode, we don't really want to hear. We only want approval or verification. We don't really want to hear anything which... so we are scared of that. That's why we don't turn to God in our heart.

Father, when everything is going well, I can say big, big things. But you know, when I get my gallstone pain, for example, when I get my gallstone pain, yes, exactly...

Exactly. That's why I said that whole notion of when things seem to be going well according to the mind, then we get into this mode of, 'Ah, it's all...' we feel like... what is that dialogue? So, we get into that mode. But in the same show, then you know what happens. So, we can fluctuate between these two modes of sheer forced humility and sheer invincibility. Instead of that, we should get into a humble, bowing down posture in the heart temple, in the heart altar. Just make that your permanent posture. Everything else will be fine.

Father, you'll have to help me with the question, but I noticed something. Like, I feel like there are two types of trouble, you know? Like, one trouble, it comes from outside. It's possible like I'm in the house and the maid is creating something and I happen to be there and I can't get out of that, you know, something. It's a bad example, but something from the outside and it's not in my control, but yet I am in it and I happen to be in trouble like that. And then something could happen, I could get angry or, you know, I could back-answer, I could whatever, I could say something or...

Trouble, you know, like one trouble, it comes from outside. It's possible, like I'm in the house and the maid is creating something and I happen to be there and I can't get out of that. Like, you know, something from the outside and it's not in my control, but yet I am in it and I happen to be in trouble like that. And then something could happen, I could get angry or, you know, I could back-answer, I could whatever, I could say something or not be kind. And then I could say I ask for repentance, and that seems an easier way for me. But when I'm seeing that I am myself getting into something and that trouble is—I can't say, 'God, I'm in trouble' because I feel like God will say, 'You fool, you are in it because of yourself. You want to be in it; if you want, you don't be in it.' Something like that, you know? And then I feel that kind of trouble is different and I find it very hard to ask for forgiveness for that.

Am I able to say? No, no, it's very good. Because it can feel like that happened and I'm in some trouble, yeah, somebody put a false case against me, so we can pray to God saying, 'Oh, this was unwarranted.' But on the other hand, in a way saying that if it was warranted, I only went into it, then how with what face can I go to God, you see? But that question 'with what face' is pride. So that question 'with what face can I go to God' is pride. It's like a child who falls in slush; the parent will pick the child up anyway, yeah, because the parent's job is to love, is to be kind, is to be compassionate.

But if the child doesn't say... you see, I'm saying about my daughter when she was very, very young, one and a half years or something. She was walking around the house and I could see these red footsteps. And I'm asking, 'What's happening?' Remember going behind, saying, 'What's going on? You got hurt on your foot.' She's saying, 'It's not blood, it's tomato.' So she just didn't want to accept that fact that something could be wrong. She just felt like just in denial, it will sort itself out, you see? Because dealing with the parent at that moment or dealing with that situation as it is at that moment may seem more difficult. And as we grow older, then we also become proud and we say, 'Oh, but then what will God say?'

That's the classical story—I'm saying 'classical' a lot today—so that's the classical story of the Prodigal Son, isn't it? Yeah, that 'I left open-eyed, now with what face can I go back to Father? What will he say? He will say get out from me.' Father is always welcoming him. So all these beautiful stories are there for us to look at our own behavior patterns and recognize ourselves in those characters.

It feels like it takes so much courage to turn. And I did try and I did feel, but it takes a lot, you know? And the mind was saying, 'What is this God?' and you know, it'll try to make it completely... and now you're saying it's pride.

It is pride. 'How could I?' Behind all this is really like, 'How could I make the mistake like that?' No? So we let this... let's brush it under the carpet, yeah? 'I don't want to see it, nothing happened.' See, it is festering there. And because it festers there, that's what vasanas are, that's what conditions are. Those unresolved things that we just brushed under the carpet, they just keep festering within us and then they reappear.

They reappear. And I saw it like that, like how you're saying, day one, day two, day three. I saw it like I don't want to see some stuff, you know? Like I'm seeing what I don't want to, it was like that.

Remember one thing, all of you, that if God doesn't seem important or relevant at this point, you are in Maya. Yeah, there is no two ways about it. If He's not seeming like the focus of your life, the center of your life, then you are in Maya and you must find a way to retreat to your heart as fast as possible before Maya's claws get deeply embedded and then you suffer. We are so lucky that we come to satsang and we can return, like refuge for this. So lucky. And I'm also lucky because I get to hear these words as the Atma uses this body to speak.

They are all from me, Father. If we didn't have satsang, then anything foolish in Maya, because it's so alluring, can take us how far. It's really got the capacity to take us so far and we just snap out of like big stuff, like it's peanuts. It's too much, very, very... His grace that He creates this for us.

So the origin of the word 'sin,' I feel like there's a lot of misunderstanding about it. Most likely I'm also misunderstanding; I'm not saying that my understanding is the correct one. But the origin of the word 'sin' is a word called 'khata,' probably Hebrew and then went to Arabic and then came to India as Urdu. So what does 'khata' mean to us? Some of us from the north will at least... usually in these romantic songs like that. So it's not like 'what sin have I committed?' It sounds like a different... there's a different texture to it. And the way... so just like that, what is it that makes me separate from you, God? That is the khata, that is the sin.

So somewhere it's become a lot more complicated now. It's become in the world a lot more complicated, but in that complication, we've just avoided looking at it, you see? Does it seem like a scary word? Like in many families it's taboo to talk about death, that's why also in much of spirituality it is taboo to talk about sin. 'We are pure Atma itself, how can there be sin?' Those notions like that. But to be egoic, to be separate, is the khata, is the error, is the sin. Okay?

So whatever... and this answers Pr's question also, that we have a sense of this. So he's saying that between hunger and lust, what is the biggest sin? It seems like lust is the biggest sin. So whether if I'm hungry then that seems okay, but if I'm on a dating app then that seems like a bigger sin. But I would not put it like that. I would put it in a simpler way, saying that you can check in your heart what seems to keep you more distant from God. And it's not necessary that either of those will... you cannot afford. The real problem is that you can be on a dating app, there's no real problem in that, but if your heart is showing you that that is creating a disconnect in your heart, if the light in your heart is dimming, if the love that you're feeling, unconditional love, is not to be found, if you're feeling dried up in your antahkarana, your antahkarana is not alive with the holy waters...

You can... and I'm saying these words even if they may seem a bit confusing to you, at least they get seeded and you start to notice for yourselves, because this is the universal way in which we function. So it's all right as long as you're operating from there, and be careful of just fooling yourself in these things, you see? Because if you fool yourself, you only fool yourself, nothing else. Change is not going to... you're not going to fool God, you're not going to fool anything, your Atma, which is the only important thing. So stay with that and run your life from there. Just sitting at God's feet, dipping into the world if at all, not sitting in Maya's feet and dipping into God. And that dipping happens usually when we are in trouble.

That seems to be the theme of today: don't wait for trouble to come to find a way. That is your true home. Stay, stay in your gully, stay in the true home, and from there whatever needs to be operated. Whatever pulls you back into that driving seat, then that is the sin, that is the... whatever pulls you back is inauspicious. What pulls you back to God is the grace, is the Guru's love, like that. So between this push-pull like that, the biggest trick of course of the mind is to convince you that it's from the heart, that is the biggest. But you can learn to spot for yourself: are you rushing? Are you concluding? Are you just thinking that? Are you just being patient? See, that's maturity. As we are getting more and more patient, we are becoming spiritually mature. If you just rush, rush, rush, then actually it doesn't matter; you could have had so many experiences, you could have had so much insight, but when it counts, it's all out the window. So we must not get into those modes.

Just this, like when you first taught us the word obedience, we resisted that teaching. And deeply looking at obedience, then you could see that what was sinful, I mean, not listening to God's guidance, not even knowing that there was such a thing, you know? That can be really active, exactly just blindly following something which you thought was freedom, I mean, that presented itself as freedom, which it was. Then also realize that, you know, the scriptures, they mention certain values to follow, and as maybe we didn't understand them, but those values actually led you to move towards God because it prepared that ground. And because it became so oppressive at some moment, people just used it to oppress, they just want to revolt against that, that's it.

And it's a virtuous circle, so to speak, that you can't do this by yourself. Like if you look at the qualifications, no? We always joked about this: who can do all of this? Control your mind, control your senses, control this, control that, you see? Then you already have to be enlightened to do all of that. So those are the prerequisites. So what gets missed in the interpretation a lot of times is the whole fact of who is holding your hand and guiding you step by step. That is the Atma, that is the Satguru presence. And if we don't emphasize that, then all of it can seem too difficult. So yes, those are the prerequisites, but we have a loving guide who holds our hand step by step and brings us there, see? And he manifests first as grace in the form of outer teachers, and then as we keep deepening more and more and more, then his presence is so deeply felt in our heart that he is the one who has been always taking care of me in spite of all the trouble I've gotten into or want to get into.

What was the first thing you said? I wanted to say something about that.

Think about the obedience. You made it so apparent to us that we were... that was such a bad...

I know that initially all these are very almost trigger words. You can't say obedience, you can't say sin, you can't say 'mercy on me,' you know, all these kind of things. See, taboo to talk about, but really it's not like that. Like Nanak has told us that we must live in God's will. Now, when we don't live in God's will, will we call that a virtue? No, we have to call it something. So you choose the word; you call it error, mistake, you choose the word, it doesn't matter. The point is that we should not live like that.

I remember that just movie song, no? One in English, if you say... it's a very beautiful song, but at that time I just found it the most revolting song. How could anybody be so idiot that they don't have their own mind and they don't have their own, you know, personality to figure out what was good for them? It was so horrible, I mean. And now I see that actually most of those, even the Sufis, are actually written for God. And when you're deeply in love, then you don't have an option anyway.

No, no, no, even then it's just too much to... you're just like, 'Yeah, whatever, whatever you say.' It lasts a week or so, two weeks, but in that mode you just... like maybe it's the other way for me, because if you keep following what I say, then that makes me really dumb. I don't... so that's correct. That's what the prarabdha of the tale of every pleasure is being. First we want somebody to listen; if they start listening, they're like, 'You have no individuality of your own, you listen to everything I say.' This is just like the nature of relationships. 'Why can't she be more like me?' or 'He be more like me?' When they become like us, we're like, 'You're so boring, like being with myself only. Where's the excitement? Where's the joy? Where's the fun?' So unless we are stabilized in God... that's why the Book of Ecclesiastes is very, very good. That Ecclesiastes by King Solomon is really good because it's nature and all these existential crises, all of them in the...

Your own, you listen to everything I say. This is just like the nature of relationships. Why can't she be more like me, or he be more like me? When they become like us, we're like, 'You're so boring, it's like being with myself only. Where's the excitement? Where's the joy? Where's the fun?' So, unless we are stabilized in God... that's why the Book of Ecclesiastes is very, very good. That Ecclesiastes by King Solomon is really good because it's nature and all these existential questions, all of them in the first half. So just imagine, they spend their whole life coming up with all this. If they just read the book of Ecclesiastes—I mean, I'm simplifying of course, generalizing—but more or less like 90%, 99%.

But then the second part of the book—not like that in structure, but just the second message of it—is that there is meaning, and it only comes from God. So relationships, everything in the world is full of meaning, but that meaning comes from God. It is meaningless as far as our ability to understand is concerned, but most people want to make meaning excluding God. Let's keep God out of the picture. One person at work, she told me—thankfully she wasn't talking about me, but she was maybe talking about politics or something—she's like, 'For God's sake, why do they get God into everything?' That's it: for God's sake.

So in the world, it seems very sort of strange to make everything about God. But you must learn from the wisdom of others, the experiences. Here was a king who had a war chest which was developed for war, but the wars didn't happen, so he became the richest king ever—I mean, at least in those cultures. And he was the wisest because he had read everything; he deeply studied the nature of life. And he said, 'It's all vapor. It's all vapor.' 'All I've looked at this as vapor, I've looked at that as vapor, I've had this as vapor.' Apparently, he had a lot of wives and, you know, like kings in those days, thousands. 'So I've had pleasure, I've had money, I've had everything. It's all vapor till you turn to God, till you find meaning in your heart from God.'

I'm simplifying. I would encourage all of you to read it. It's very, very beautiful. That Book of Job and Book of Ecclesiastes, both very beautiful, are called the wisdom books. And it's just like if you read Ecclesiastes, you know what you're reminded of? The first chapter of Yoga Vasistha, the dispassion of Ram. He's just like that, you know? Same thing. A prince who has everything, everything at a young age, like, 'It's all vapor to me, it's all nothing.' So how to find that? Everybody is constantly searching for meaning. And then what happened with these philosophers is: 'There's no meaning inherent, there's no God who's looking over us, you make your own meaning.' That is the meaning of life. But it's not true, because when you come to this holiness, you know it is not human-created.

Like some things you can just tell that they're not worldly. Like he was saying, she was saying, it's not material. It's beyond material. What I find in my heart is beyond material. What is that beyond material? And once you get a taste of that, then no material taste actually can compare. And it's not just about the taste; it's about the love, about the insight, about... it just seems like a true life. So we have to learn from the wisdom of everyone else, the wise ones. Learn from the experiences of if we hadn't shown us how blind we were, you know? Like the whole thing upside down. I mean, like wearing the wrong side of the glove and actually thinking that loving and obeying God... that was even a bigger problem. At least you said the serpent's voice and saying, 'We are following God's will.' That's the biggest trick of the mind.

So if we cannot say that you live today in God's will every moment, and hopefully we're not fooling ourselves, then we have work to do. We are a work in progress. Arjun's question got over, is it? Is it gone? If it's gone, it's okay.

Sometimes there's this fork in the road, this fork in the road in terms of conduct. So many, just some daily examples of course. And you know, I just... so for instance, you know, a friend invites you to an evening and it's not like you're particularly excited about what's happening because you know maybe you would just prefer to be with yourself. But then you know somebody is a friend and there's some emotional connect and you're just going for the sake of, you know, brotherhood and friendship and things like that right now. And sometimes these things also pull you out of what you may normally be doing. Yes, so just as an extension of that, I had on Monday, I didn't come physically for satsang because somebody was organizing an event and it was close to me and they requested me and I said okay. You know, I would rather have come, but now I'm kind of... so I didn't know the situations, I don't know how to particularly act right.

And then sometimes when I'm in situations where I would not necessarily want to be, but I still try to stay in the presence or silently chant or something, right? So I'm not losing the connection, but I'm not really clear because in all cases I could have just said no, right? I could have said no, I'm... but then so then what would then happen is that maybe my life would become almost exclusively just being in satsang and meditating. I can just turn off everything, right? You can not take calls, you can not pursue thoughts that come to you which may carry a certain resonance of joy, but you can still say, 'Hey, you know, that will inevitably take me down a road where it'll get worldly again.' Is it a trick? Is it a mental trick? It sounds, you know, maybe even like a spiritual action, a virtuous action, but maybe it's a trick.

And I tried asking, and I do sort of surrender and I say internally that I know the light is real and everything is an appearance in it. So, you know, everything here is yours, all appearances belong to you. You can put the thoughts as you wish, you can make the appearances dance to your mood. Yeah, it's just all your action and your will, right? So I surrender that, but again, I'm still a little stuck, Father. You know, I know you say just go internally and ask, but I'm not hearing. I don't know if you... I don't know what it is. I don't hear a voice telling me something or I don't know what to do here. I'm not finding a spiritual guide that's holding me by the hand and saying, 'Do this or do that.' That's just not happening for me.

Well, I would say it's very much happening for you. It is not possible for you to be so consistently in satsang unless that was happening. We don't find any tangible evidence of that sometimes, so we may feel like it's not happening. But every tiniest bit of spiritual insight that we have is only because our Atma within, the spirit, is making us spiritual. Without spirit's endeavor in our heart, spirit working in our heart, we cannot grasp the 'A' of spirituality. We can't start the endeavor at all, you see. Atma is definitely guiding you, so that is for sure.

When it comes to these day-to-day decisions, as you said, in a way it feels like there are two modes: either I'm the driver of the car or the car is driverless, you see. And if the car is driverless, then it'll go into some ditch or my friends will hate me and I'll become a social outcast and recluse. All of those fears are there. But there can be a long period of time where we feel like, 'I don't feel guided.' In fact, there's a whole movie about this topic called 'Silence' where these ones who wanted to spread Christianity went to Japan and then they got stuck in some very terrible situation and they kept praying for God and they were just dealing with the fact that God seems to be silent, you see.

Of course, these were not day-to-day situations; these were life and death situations where they just had to... it's the story of faith, how they had to be faithful in spite of silence, you see. And if you are faithful, then you'll find a way. If you're patient, courageous, faithful, then you'll find the guidance in some form or the other. Just that even that compass which I've been talking about, the heart compass, you can get a sense of whether the light is brightening up, whether your insides are drying up or they're lightening up, you see. What happens when you inquire for an hour? Something happens. What happens when you do the prayers in the morning? Something happens.

So when that something starts to dim, then you know that you're going away in the wrong direction. Then you remain like that. And I'm not saying from a place that I always remain like that; it's work for me also. But this is the endeavor, this is the work in progress in my life, that it starts to feel more and more restless when His light is not apparent to me. And sometimes it's like you can spot that you're walking in the wrong direction, so you just retreat back in spite of your pride. So you could be like just starting an argument with your wife and the light starts to dim. The light starts to dim, like, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm very sorry,' you know? So you retreat like that.

And it has never worked the other way, although we may want that as an excuse. It's never worked the other side, other way in the sense that it never said, 'No, no, be more aggressive.' So my heart is not guiding me like that, so far at least. Krishna has not ever told this Arjuna to pick up the weapon like that. So that is a simple example. But then many times you just find yourself disconnected. You don't know how you got there, you just got into some Maya loop and you're just in some... the instant you notice, then you have to put down your pride and what you want and your will and everything and just return like a silly, innocent child who's found himself, you know, like a cat who's stuck on the tree.

Just like climbed the tree, you know? And this seems to happen in America a lot because growing up watching American TV shows, there are cats stuck on trees. It never happened in India, I don't know why. And they call the fire department. Here you call the fire department, 'Cat is stuck on the...' 'Shut up, we're on a chai break right now, don't disturb us.' So anyway, so the point was that you find yourself over there, then you can't try to be a lion and all of that, say, 'I'll make this work and this is the right move and God only wants this.' You know, we have all these reasonings, but we keep all that aside and we return. We plead with God, we say, 'I've been foolish and I've fallen into this mind trick.'

And whether we just return to just being empty, making all the space for God, clearing up the road for God, whether we inquire and say, 'Who am I that has gotten into this idea?' or we just pray. Just pray. The important thing is to remove the focus from the 'me' and to turn it towards the Atma within. So those are the two modes, isn't it? Either you're slowly getting into the mind trap or you're already there, you don't realize how you got there. But the important thing is to be humble and retreat. Retreat seems like it needs humility because nobody wants to retreat once you've taken a few moves. You're just like, 'I'm going to fight it out, I'm going to prove to myself first that I'm right and then prove to everyone that I'm right.' That never gets us anywhere.

If you look back, if we're mature enough to look back at our life, you see that no good has ever come out of that. You see that momentary feeling of feeling good, you see that 'I'm so right,' that thing comes like that, like Ravan. In a few minutes we are back to being the small cat mewing. So did that help? It comes, you see, and God knows how much to feed us when. Well, for all of us, it's a test of faith. Is there any situation that warrants getting angry or upset?

It never gets us anywhere. If you look back, if we are mature enough to look back at our life, you see that no good has ever come out of that. You see that momentary feeling of feeling good, you see that 'I'm so right'—that thing comes like that, like Ravana. In a few minutes, we are back to being the small cat mewing. So, get into those. So, did that help? It comes, you see, and God knows how much to feed us when. Well, for all of us, it's a test of faith. Is there any situation worth getting angry or upset? So, for if you're meditating, right, and somebody comes and plays loud music, even though you told them, you know, a hundred times before that, you know, at this thirty minutes in the day I need solace. Is that sort of something—I mean, I'm just giving a practical example—is something like that, you know, I mean, reason enough to get up?

If your heart is guiding you to that, that's why I took the Krishna and Arjuna thing. But my Krishna never told me to become Arjuna. My Krishna and my heart has never told me to become Arjuna and pick up the weapon and fire, even though you were trying to do something to get closer to God and this is taking you away. But then you should still be humble and say, 'You know, thank you.' So, no, but that's also the—I know, I know, but I'm saying that that is also like a template. But I'm saying that your heart can find ways to get the point across without aggression, without anger. Maybe those points were—but even this, maybe your heart will guide you to Arjuna mode, I don't know. But we must not rush into that. Whatever it is, be from the heart, be guided by God.

But it's a wedding is going on outside. I actually, you know, have cats in the room. Doing meditation coincides with the cats. They go to YouTube for some reason, then I, you know, I don't want them to hurt each other. I stop and get so—but you said that you made it clear. You made it clear to the cats that you need the—you said you made it clear that this half an hour—deflecting it to the cats. I don't want them to, you know, happen today as well. I could just say, 'Okay, you know, this is—let them do what they want,' right?

But that's again what I'm saying is that these opposites are in the head, and where we must just go with the heart. We don't know, you see, what solutions come from there or what continuations of seeming problems come from there. You must not also approach it like some cheat code to life, that I just go over there and God is just available like a genie, so I rub the lamp and He just sorts out everything for me. But the promise for me is that whatever unfolds with His guidance, when He moves us, is what is needed, is the most auspicious for us.

I was using the cheat code, like one cheat code that I had adopted maybe a year ago when I came with a thought storm of how I behaved with my son, like as an angry or aggressive parent. And then that was one reset. But the cheat code that I've been using is: how would Father behave if his son was doing the same thing? And ninety-nine percent of the time, it's been a great cheat code. But his handwriting is, or was, terrible six months ago, and as a consequence of that, the structure of thinking, everything gets into a mess. And so he, you know, doesn't do as well with the effort he's put in. I kept going with the Father cheat code.

Have you seen Father's handwriting? No, no, I haven't. The worst. I have the worst. But that's why my structure of thinking is so bad. I don't think I'll finish my story; it will become obvious.

Yeah, so I, for three months, I kept like being very polite, like, 'You know, you can write better, this is the way to write.' I would give him demo after demo and he would keep writing like that. Then one day just something happened and I became harsh. And I said, 'I know you can write way better than this. This is what you're going to do from tomorrow morning.' And he—he's fifteen—and he started doing it. And within three weeks, his handwriting got amazing. And consequently, he had enough space in the question papers to answer his questions, everything. He could think clearly and his grades started reflecting in that.

But for the first time, when I was harsh, the next day I didn't feel that I did something. There was no guilt. Traditionally, I've been harrowed by that if I was harsh, and that's why I come with those reports. But like you also said, right, with your pup right now, that it's sometimes the guidance just comes as a parent. I have to, and not to beat myself about it if it's coming from a place of love. And I knew I was using a cheat code, but it was comforting to go through that experience that, you know, once in a while it may come, and if it comes, it comes. Yeah, so that was—that was really helpful to break free from that cheat code and plus the intuitive guidance. And I've had it in my own childhood, like my parents have been harsh maybe three or four times, and I actually thank them for those three or four times. Or my school teacher—I remember them making me write 'a plus b the whole square' a thousand times. After that, every formula is like burnt in my head.

Yes, knowledge. This we just have to be careful of, of following God's will, because many times there's a tendency to presume the two sides. Like when we—and that's okay at some level, like that's classical again: 'What would Jesus do? What would Ram do? What would Krishna do?' And we just presume that because that helps in a lot of situations. But now we must come to a point where it's not speculative; it is guided. And we must learn to have that faith that He will guide us in one way or the other. And as we become more and more sensitive, you see that there's no—truly not even patience is needed because He's so merciful. We are just learning how to read His ways more clearly.

So we just be a little careful of this compartment in our head which says, 'This is the spiritual way, this is the worldly way,' and operating between those two. Just allow, allow it to come. Okay? It can seem very difficult, especially with children, the loved ones. It can seem very difficult because we are very scared. We are very scared of their lives being messed up in some way, of being good parents, of them not resenting us—all of these fears can be there. But if you learn to follow your heart, you see that it's auspicious.

And it's looking so tall because I'm sitting on the floor now. I know he's even tall the other way, but especially—okay, so this one. So the question about avoiding and hiding, that is taken care of by just not getting into any of these categories moment to moment. Allowing Him to move us, allowing Him to guide us. Has become Kalen and Kumai, is that so? So that I get more motivated to call on you?

No, Father, I'm just Kalen's assistant today. He wanted to talk to you, but then he didn't have patience to listen, so he left. And I wouldn't have come to Satsang at all anyway. So he's here now.

Hello, what's up?

It's good. I'm feeling a bit sick.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

But it's—I'm recovering quickly.

Okay, good. Is she there? She's very happy. Hello, hello. Yeah, oh yeah, she's very happy.

I just wanted to—I raised the hand to ask for a blessing to recover quickly, to go to the camp tomorrow.

Bless you. Welcome, welcome. Sound is very low today. Am I on the right mic? Father, can I share something?

Yes, one second. Let me just look at the sound. Maybe I'm just speaking more softly now. Is it louder or no? That's fine. Yes, please go ahead.

You know, from our last discussion, I thought today I'm coming to Satsang and I'm just going to be so present and so much in the heart, you know? And as Satsang was approaching, even before, like, I could feel the sleepiness and all this energy playing. And Satsang started and it actually took a bit of—it took an accident when Kalen—when Kalen went to—shall I give you some space? No, no, I can multitask this much. I know men are very bad at multitasking; this much is—and I accidentally unmuted myself accidentally and then I interrupted you because I saw your attention went to the screen and all this. Then I became present. I actually realized it's like—it's very much by His grace, you know? If I'm five percent, fifty percent, or eighty percent, or whatever percentage it is, it's not my—is that a cop-out? No, it's not like that. It's not that I'm not trying, but it's like I'm not, you know, my personality is not weak or anything like that. Like, when I want something, I can do it. Yeah, but sometimes, like with this today, it was just a very clear example that He's going to give you so much challenge to show you that you need to rely on Him fully.

No, a strong personality—it's a good experiment to see whether a strong personality can want a transcending of itself and do it. No, it's just, you see—so remember that an expectation of Grace must go with our complete payment of the cost of discipleship. And the cost of discipleship to the mind is everything; in reality, it is nothing. So unless somewhere we are feeling like we've offered everything at our disposal, we must not even talk about Grace. Yeah, so full, full, full, full everything that we have, every layer of our existence that we otherwise feel we control.

I take this as your blessing because I—it is my blessing and my pointing and my blessing. And this is the—again, I'm not speaking from a place of a hundred percent or something like that. This is exactly what the project here is as well. Every moment, use that as an opportunity to be with God rather than to serve the 'me'. Someone, a sister that was following you, you know, she wrote to me today. She gave up Satsang a while ago and she actually wrote to me that she saw me on screen and you were saying like how much of your time you choose God or you serve 'me'. And yeah, I didn't get the name. Who are you talking about?

There is this sister that dropped Satsang about two years ago. Many, many sisters like that. You can send me a name later if you want. Yeah, and then she was touched and she wanted to just be with God more. I was touched by the fact that she actually mentioned she watched the YouTube Satsang where she saw me on screen and this was your pointing. And thank you so much for this blessing and bless life and thank you for this opportunity to be with you in Satsang. Thank you.

Thank God. And I'm very grateful also that Kalen is keen to come on screen with you. Let's go to Samia. Hi. Father, thank you. Welcome. All good, Father. I can tell that. I can tell at you—I can tell by looking at you that's all good.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's always good. Just recently, I don't know, sometimes I just—too much reaction is here, like the fear of being separated from God's light. Not even being separated, but fear of being separated just makes me incredibly, I don't know, like nervous and like—like if I—even the idea of it I cannot bear, Father, because of this just too much reaction. And it is not even the truth, but maybe it's a good thing. Maybe it's just kind of inner prayer, like maybe it's itself a prayer, I don't know. But yeah, this is the reason also I just wanted to come up now. Like, there is nothing, but of course my body is a little tight, but it's okay. Of course it's okay. But just again, fear comes up: what if I cannot have a rest and I can be separated from God? Like this kind of thing. That's why I just wanted to throw myself to you. Yeah, but despite of this, just no separation at all.

Very, very good. Some of it is very natural, what you're saying. In one of the first spiritual sanghas that I was part of, I received a name, a mantra to chant. And throughout that process of receiving the mantra, I was just scared that I'm going to forget it. And it was the simplest mantra and there was no chance I would ever forget it, but there was just this fear that I'm going to leave this room and soon I'm going to forget it. So sometimes things seem so precious to us in our heart that we are scared that we should not lose this, we should—we may forget about it. So yeah, but it seems like it comes out of this.

I received the mantra to chant, and throughout that process of receiving the mantra, I was just scared that I'm going to forget it. And it was the simplest mantra, and there was no chance I would ever forget it, but there was just this fear that I'm going to leave this room and soon I'm going to forget it. So sometimes things seem so precious to us in our heart that we are scared that we should not lose this, we may forget about it. So yeah, but it seems like it comes out of this love and yeah, it itself is like a prayer. So the preciousness of it is so much that we sometimes have this concern that we may leave it.

You see, my worry would be that if you were saying, 'What's the point?' That would be worrisome for me. But if you're saying that 'I'm scared about losing it,' it's all right, as long as it's not just making you avoid it by making you fearful of losing it. But I don't see—from your face I can tell it's not that.

I could not fully understand what you said, but yeah, I think there's so much to say and so many things to be said, but because I'm a little tired, I don't want to waste them for now. Um, yeah.

Yes, you have a bit of a satsang grin. You know what a satsang grin is? You're just smiling in satsang because your heart is open and it's alive, and it percolates through the body, you know, in this way that there's a light within you and your face naturally has a smile on it because of that. So if you see some of you—please don't see them—but I'm just reminding you that when I started sharing satsang, I would just come into the room and I would have this grin on, and then somebody would ask a question, I would be like, so seriously, 'Who are you?' And then I would return to that satsang grin like that. So, and it wasn't that I was doing it; it just happens, you know, that something in my heart was opening up so deeply that it was percolating through everything in life and including this body. So when those byproducts, those overflows, that spillover of love is visible, then I'm not worried about it.

Still, I feel like I need to just move my body. Maybe nature—it really helps me recently. Like, I don't know, Father, of course it's like it's God just who gives the healing through nature also. Nature has no power if God does not allow me to be healed. Like last time, somehow when I was walking in nature, it's so magical, Father. I just found a page, like a religious page, and it was written on this, you know, even natural power—because I was going to nature only to be rejuvenated—and just one page, Father, in the middle of nature, and it was written: 'Even natural power has nothing if God does not allow you that healing.' I was like, 'Oh my God.' And then I pray, 'Please, through nature, give me this healing.' Like, it's amazing. So yeah, that's why I just want to throw myself to you.

That's very, very important. I'm so glad you said it. I don't know if I've said it in broadcast before, but very often I've said that we must not obsess too much about nature, nature, natural, natural. We must make it God, God, God, God. Because everything that is healing, everything that is joyful, everything that makes us feel rested and rejuvenated is because of God alone. All the healing. And the same thing for these practices of healing and all of that; they must not do them without first deep gratitude to God and love for God. You see, so many times I advise people here when they're doing some of these things just for healing and things, which is fine, there's no trouble with that, but we must never forget that the power to heal, the power to create, heal, destroy, rejuvenate, everything belongs to God alone. It's only an expression of His power. So all gratitude, all praise, all love for all of this is also truly, truly at His feet.

Yeah, yeah. Thank you, Father. Thanks to God for everything. Thank you for, yeah, for everything.