Use God’s Presence in Your Heart to Remain with Him - 31st May 2024

Okay, so use that infrequent time. You see, when you get there, then what happens? Does He leave? Does His presence leave you? Is it so? When you come to His presence, when you meet Him in your heart, then don't leave, come what may. Because why I'm saying this is that as you're in His presence, no matter what the mind may say, its power is completely diminished. And we have to then make that choice to give it power again with our belief, with our identification, you see? So just return to your heart and stay there.

See, then after some time, we will, like you said, forget. So we will fail, but then we will remind ourselves again that when I return, I have to remain there. Because to do this, to do spirituality without Spirit, to do spirituality without God, is making it extraordinarily difficult for us. Actually, it is impossible. But when we just try to do it with our own strength, when we say that, 'Okay, what will I do to manage this?' it is just not going to happen, you see? So use God's presence in your heart to remain with Him so that then all this really loses all its power really quickly. See, otherwise, it's a rock and a hard place. There is no actual solution out of it without taking refuge in God. There is no actual solution out of it because the mind has trapped you from both sides.

First, it offers you the temptation, then it says, 'Oh, this mind offers the temptation, how do I stop falling for it?' You see? And we fall for that. So that one-two punch is constantly beating us out, and we can't really—we don't really recognize how to snap out of that, step out of that. So that is why God, in His mercy, in His love, has made His presence available in that which seems like the innermost recesses of our heart. So even to take that leap of faith that He is here and I can meet Him may seem very, very difficult to do in the mind. But when you come to satsang, use the opportunity to just have this faith: He is here. So the question really is, how many of us—please—how many of us are trying to do spirituality without God's help every step of the way?

This is the—it's more than the Maya and it's there every moment. Yes, then that of a second, suddenly that faith, then everything melts down. It's just—and it lasts for a few seconds and yeah.

Are you trying to do this without God's help?

No, it is like only the prayer which is—I mean, it feels so helpless there that it finally bends down to the prayer.

Sorry, I'm interjecting again and again, but before you get to the point of helplessness, do you ask for help?

No.

So the process of turning to Him for everything is very important. We feel that we will do, we will do, we will remain as awareness, we will observe even our being or not being. We will do all of this, but we don't remember that this presence, this being, is God's light. So we made it like a personal project for ourselves. But none of this will have any fruit unless we learn surrender, unless we learn to offer ourselves up to God moment to moment. And only then can the mind's fantastical idea of remaining open and empty all the time, or remaining in God's presence all the time, come to fruition.

But without that, you recognize humbly that all that is important is this moment. Am I living and breathing in God's presence, or have I made this about me again? See? And then when we make this about me over and over, then obviously it doesn't work after some point, and that is the point we call the coming to helplessness. So I am asking today, and I asked previously also, why get to that point of helplessness? See? So we are inhaling the poison and then looking for the antidote every time. Are we asking—are we humble enough to ask for His help every moment?

Arrogance for...

So the forgetting and the arrogance is actually the same thing, that we made spirituality into a personal project, forgetting about the discipleship of the Atma. And it is only in the discipleship of the Atma can we grow spiritually. What was I saying? Spirituality—don't worry, you didn't miss anything. Spirituality only starts when we start our discipleship of the Atma within. Now, the discipleship of the Atma is a full-time job. It doesn't mean that, 'Oh, I will come back to it only when I get into some trouble, otherwise I will keep trying for myself,' see? It is a full-time gurukul. In India, we have this tradition of the gurukul where the disciple would go and spend their life with the master for many, many years. So this gurukul is within your heart.

So the question—anything is contemplating, we'll come back to him—but the question really is that, have we really handed over our spiritual growth to God, to the Atma within? And handed over doesn't mean your job, you do it. Fully committed to that, we have to live in that and allow Him to guide us every step of the way. So that's why last time we were really exploring the statement that... so the one who remembers God when times are good and we are not in trouble, we're not in a corner, and we haven't run out of moves, then why should suffering come? Why don't we live in His light constantly and then see if what Maya does to us or if the mind can trouble us?

Spirituality has to go from being a self-help mechanism to becoming a complete transformation of life. Once we take on—we inwardly bow down to the Satguru presence, Atma within, and we say that, 'My life is yours,' that is when we are taking admission into this gurukul. Without that, most of us in the world keep thinking that we can do this on our own, and only when they come into some deep trouble they turn to spirituality, they turn to Spirit within, which is the Atma within. So are we trying to do our spiritual life, are we trying to run our spiritual life without the presence of Spirit? And it may sound like a very absurd question, but I feel like most of us in spirituality in the modern world seem to be doing that or trying to do that.

We take the driving seat, the steering wheel in our hands, drive, drive, drive till we drive into a corner which we can't get out of, and then we say, 'Oh God, save me, help me, I surrender to You.' But there's no reason to do that. You can just naturally, moment to moment, allow Him to move you, allow Him to guide you. Of course, your mind will not want that. It will not want that. It will keep pulling you out. Maya will not want that. It will keep pulling you out. But for those of you who have been in satsung at least for some time, you have to admit that at some point you're empty, you're with His light, with His presence. Then can we just keep everything the mind is saying aside today and say, 'I will not leave Him when He is apparent to me'?

Can we make this deal today, all of us on Zoom and in the room, that when He is apparent to me, whatever temptation I get in life, I will not leave Him because I belong to Him? My life is His. Yes? Or difficult to make a deal? I know that I'm not going to keep it.

No, if you make the deal then it's—then it will happen. Because God knows that His Maya is compelling, that you don't keep it. But because we don't make the deal, then we may end up being half-hearted about it, you see? So what if you make the deal with me today, then tomorrow something tempts you and you went, then what will you do? What do you think? What will happen?

I won't remember.

Yes, you remember and then you return, and then you have a reinvigorated commitment to Him. 'I forgot,' like that. Suppose you move from Argentina to France and you meet people and your natural impulse is to speak in Spanish. Then they look at you strangely and you remember, 'I'm supposed to speak in French. Okay, I'll remember, I'll speak only in French,' you see? Then next day, or you may remember, then the next day after that you may forget, you see? So what do you do? You say, 'Okay, I forgot again to remember,' you see? So you reinvigorate that intention, you see?

But suppose you said, 'What's the point? I'm never going to speak in French anyway because I'll forget, I'll speak in Spanish again,' you see? So is that more helpful to you, or is your commitment more helpful to you? Once you commit that, 'Yes, I will make that change,' then the mind doesn't like that because it says, 'No, no, no, but see, you keep failing. What's the point? Don't make that deal.'

So just—I don't want to give a way for the punch, so I don't feel I might be so good here.

So okay, so that is the two-punch part of it. It is just like, 'I forgot I'm supposed to speak in French now. Now you can't be in France, you have to leave the country,' see? But you just made a mistake for a moment. You spoke in Spanish to someone. You don't have to leave the country, you see? But this is what the two-punch of the mind tries to tell us: 'You're unworthy, it's not going to happen, so don't commit.' So now the two-punch is coming before the one-punch, saying, 'Don't commit.' No? So this is like the prequel, this is like intimidation tactics before the boxing match starts, see? Like, 'You can't win, don't even try.'

This is that to me, the difference between intention and a promise. Like, I feel I can't make a promise to you that I cannot keep, but I can express my honest, heartful intention.

But how do you know that you can't keep it?

Because I've seen it over that you promised already and broken it.

I don't feel like—yes, that's what I'm saying. I promise something, I... yes. So this is the trick. So if God came to you and said, 'You promise me,' would you?

I'd say the same thing I'm saying to you.

Yeah, so you will not listen about this. I am... so the trick is in this, that you know what needs to happen, which is that there needs to be a promise. You know also that we will fail, you see? Which all of us know, all of us fail, see? And you know also that the only price to pay for your failure is to just notice and to return. Like one great Indian saint said...

I say, I promise something. Yes, so this is the trick. So if God came to you and said, 'You promise me,' would you? I say the same thing I'm saying to you, yeah. So you will not listen about this 'I am.' So the trick is in this: that you know what needs to happen, which is that there needs to be a promise. You know also that we will fail, you see, which all of us know. All of us fail, you see. And you know also that the only price to pay for your failure is to just notice and to return. Like one great Indian saint said, if you've fallen down, just get up, you see. So that's all you need to do. That when you notice that you have failed, you just return.

So okay, can we make it easier by saying the promise is this: that you will not fall for the trick of the mind, and when you do fall for the trick of the mind, you will not get into any self-worth, worthiness, all of that. You will notice it and you will come back to God. That promise we can make, okay? So let's make that. Too complicated? No, it's fine, it's fine. So we promise that we will stay in God's presence and whenever we fail—and all of us will fail, so I'm making this promise as well—that when we fall down, we will just get up without thinking about whether we are worthy, whether we belong with God, whether it's going to happen for us. None of that, all right?

I fail, Father. Or I fail, Father. And yes, no, I fail, Father, because Father is failing Father. What I noticed is that if I don't have the commitment, then really it is just weak. Our spirituality is just weak. So that fire has to be there. The fire has to be there because there is really no time to waste. I feel that commitment there. Very good, very good, very good. So recognize that there is no time to waste and full on.

Yes. So this disciple of the Atma... like, it's almost like I have to say this, that I'm just about starting to recognize the importance of prayer. I'm loving prayer, not just for petition.

Very good, very good, good. The discipleship itself teaches us inquiry, it teaches us prayer, it teaches us surrender, it teaches us love. It provides all the insights. My heart feels like... I feel like I'm a beginner every day. It's different, it's different.

You feel... no, I don't feel it different. It's, uh, maybe... okay, so let's for a moment presume that it is different. Then enjoy this fact that it is so fresh and He's here and you're starting to meet this. Enjoy that fact instead of ever getting into a despair or a lamentation about time wasted or anything like that. That He is with you and like a father holding your hand, walking with you, He can guide you every step of the way. And all the paths of spirituality, everything that we need to learn, everything is provided by Him. Without Him, we can never fathom a single line of spirituality, you see, because the spirituality we will create for ourselves will be just a conceptual, mental, egoic spirituality.

So is it good news that you're starting or is it bad news that you're starting? It's both. I get you, I get you. When you say it's both, sometimes I also feel that fifty years of this life have gone, I'm just getting started. I was making a prayer that day—it may sound strange to all of you—I just felt to say, 'Please don't let this be my last life because this life is a complete waste. Let me have one more life where I can pray to You so deeply with all my heart.' Half a century is gone and I wasted this opportunity. So I don't want to come to You like this. I want to come to You and I can say to You that, 'Father, I've loved You so deeply all my life, now take me and keep me at Your feet.'

What an opportunity we have. What an opportunity we have to meet Him, to love Him, to offer ourselves up to Him, to dissolve in His light, to merge with Him. So to come to the discipleship of the Atma, we are learning to leave the discipleship of the mind. So as we are leaving the discipleship of the selfish one in our heads, we are recognizing that He's opening so many beautiful pathways for all of us. And all you children are helping me so much in the process. One child introduces me to one type of satsang, another child introduces me to another type of satsang, and I'm just enjoying all this holiness that is unfolding from all of you and learning so much from all of you every day.

And satsang means not necessarily like sitting like this and talking. Satsang is basically the pathway to come to the company of God, the presence of God, to the company of the truth, Sat. So learn from that Holy Spirit, that Atma within yourself. That is what is important. And I'm realizing more and more that spirituality really is about the sang that we keep, the satsang, the company that we keep. And I don't mean just people. People are important, of course, but sometimes in our life we may have circumstances where we are surrounded by people that are not interested in Sat. But that is not just the sang, the company that I'm talking about.

What are you keeping company with right now? Are you in God's company? Are you in the company of the ego? Are you involved with pride? What company are you keeping? Are you immersing nonsense into your heads or are you trying to learn, head bowed down from your heart? So whatever you're immersing yourself in, in every layer of your existence, that is bound to have an impact on how much we deepen in this discipleship. So our job is to construct the holy temple for God in our heart and then to be a servant of that temple.

Now, the insight within the temple maybe that there is no distinction between God and you. But if you ever want to be God instead of being a servant of God, then that insight will also vanish. You may feel like your mind may complain; it'll say, 'But I have seen that I am that, I am that in which God takes birth, I am that Absolute reality.' But if your intention is to be that, then you will only apply it to yourself personally. You will apply it to yourself individually. When you're empty of any such intention, and whenever that need pops up, crops up in our life, then to offer it to God in servitude is the only way you can remain in the insight that you are that. Otherwise, your pride will convince you that you are something, someone special. Who is that? You are the enlightened one or the free one? Who is that?

And there's no question then of servitude or following God's will because we mistakenly take ourselves to be that in the place where we are still the 'me.' I don't know if that's gone through anywhere. You know that place where we are still the 'me'? The 'me' that doesn't like servitude, it doesn't like to give up its will. That 'me' that wants to be special, that wants to be seen, that wants to be heard, that wants to take space in the world instead of giving space in the world—that is the 'me.' So that 'me' has to remain as a servant of God, guarding and fanning the holy light in your heart. That is your only job. That is our only job: to remain with that light as a humble priest of the temple, as a humble servant of the temple.

Whatever your external job may be, this is your internal job. External job may be at the office, it may be in a business, it may be some other type of work, it may be to work at home; it may be so many different external jobs. But those who are in spirituality are in spirituality when they say that, 'My job is this inner job.' And no one can do this job, no one can do this job unless guided every step of the way by the Atma within. Because the monster, the tiger of pride, is waiting at every step. Every step. A little bit of insight we have, pride. A little bit of something, bhakti comes, pride. So pride comes as a poison, as the acid to clean up any insight that you're actually having, any love that you're actually feeling. It just pours acid on that. That is why that servitude is very, very important.

Don't want to be seen, don't want to take space in this world. Just what is important is the audience of one. There is an audience which is the most important audience. Make your life about that one. All this is going to go. This man sitting in front of you, another few years, going to go. That body which you seem to inhabit is going to go. All of this world play is going to go. It'll only seem like a dream is going to vanish. But within this Maya, within this dream, within this illusion, we have the opportunity to meet that which is truly true and the highest reality. But the pathway of that goes through your heart temple, and to learn to live and to serve your heart temple can only happen in the holiness of the Atma within, the holiness of the spirit within.

So really, sometimes all of you get frustrated and say, 'Tell me practically what I'm supposed to do. What I'm actually supposed to do, just tell me that.' So immerse yourself in things which are godly. Don't surround yourself with things which are worldly. If you can't do it externally, do it inwardly. Keep yourself in remembrance of God. Keep yourself in the feeling of love towards God. Keep yourself in that which is beyond every thought and feeling, in His holy presence. This is how it happens. This is how it happens.

Otherwise, just like bad company, you know how does it start? You go down as a kid, you're playing in the park, meet some people. They seem to be having fun, so you have some fun with them. Then you go back home and you tell your parents, 'Oh, you know, I met these people. They seem to be a bit crooked, but I'm having fun, it's fine. Don't worry, you know me, you can trust me. I'm not going to get into any of that.' See, the next day, third day, then that relationship between you and them starts to deepen. By the fifth day, they're telling you, 'Okay, try this. It's not going to do anything, just try it.' By the tenth day, they're saying... it becomes a matter of fact that you're going to indulge in that with them. That is the power of worldly company.

Now it is time for us to see the power of godly company, company of God's presence in your heart. So some of you may also say, 'But I hang around or I hung around with those people and something kept me safe.' So God is already helping you. Now go into that which is keeping you safe more than experimenting with that which can get you in trouble. You say, 'Okay, something kept me safe. Now isn't it time to start exploring what is that something which kept you safe?' So either way, it is that which you immerse yourself in.

I was reading in the Ramacharitmanas that he said that our mind is full of topics, basically these conceptual ideas, thinking about something, worrying, all of this. But he said that if you immerse this mind also in this Ramayan that you're reading—you can use the chaupai if you want—in this Ramayan that you're reading, then even this topic, this poison of your life becoming the anxiety of your life, that will also go away because you will immerse yourself in the remembrance of God, in the story of God. A beautiful thing and so accessible for everyone, that you just read the beautiful life story of Ram, Krishna, Jesus, Muhammad, and you can immerse yourself in this beautiful way in His life.

So more and more as I'm getting older, I'm seeing that the opportunities to meet God are so many. There are so many opportunities, so many ways to be in His light. And ultimately it depends on me moment to moment. Do I go with my selfishness, do I go with my pride, or do I go with God? And the tradeoff is very, very strange because you're being told that God is sitting there in the beautiful temple of your heart, the Garbha Griha, which is the innermost sanctum sanctorum of your heart. He is sitting. But our usual way is to say, 'Oh, that's very nice, okay, good. What are we doing?' You've been given this information, you've been given the map also. Now you just have to dive in. And if you don't bother with the question, 'What is going to happen to me?' or 'How will I run this life?' then nothing can get in your way. So why are we not meeting Him? Why are we not staying with Him? And if you are attempting to do that, then what is getting in your way? That is the question. That okay, now I know I have to do this, but my mind keeps getting me, keeps grabbing at me, keeps pulling me out.

Doing you've been given this information, you've been given the map also. Now you just have to dive in. And if you don't bother with the question 'What is going to happen to me?' or 'How will I run this life?' then nothing can get in your way. So why are we not meeting him? Why are we not staying with him? And if you are attempting to do that, then what is getting in your way? That is the question. That okay, now I know I have to do this, but my mind keeps getting me, keeps grabbing at me, keeps pulling me out, you see. So what can I do moment to moment? Try to remain with God, then the point of failure will keep changing.

Now, like George was saying, I know I will fail. Even I know I will fail because something will come, something in the world will seem real, it will seem important where I need to put on this false persona of me, you see. And I will fall for doing that stupidity, that foolishness. It will happen, you see, inductively, because it has happened so many times. All of us can say it will happen, you see. But that point of failure keeps changing, keeps this thing. If we commit that we will not fear, is it exactly? So if you're just in the world before Satsang, most of us, then anything anyone comes and tells us, then we become involved in that, no? If not externally, at least internally we start getting into these situations, these topics, the vasanas that we talked about. So but now the point of failure is changing, that the temptations of the world don't make us fail as easily. And more and more, this rocket fuel is giving us the velocity to escape the gravitation of Maya. They may not escape it 100%, maybe nobody will, but at least the point of being pulled back is changing, and that is very important. Yes, it gets exposed. And the more you are in service to God, the more you are listening, you're open to listening to the guidance from the Atma within, the more, the further behind you will leave the gravitation of the temptations of Maya of the world.

We forgot the why. Nobody reminded. They're not liking it, is it? We all forgot that. Recently realized what it actually means, and next is that thing. So I'm going to sound like a typical father when I say this: we just have to stop wasting time. It may sound too simplistic for life, but stop wasting time. In what way? Wasting time filling ourselves up thinking of nonsense. Stop your time thinking of nonsense. Remain or return to God instead. All the paths are available to you. You can inquire, you can pray, you can be in love, you can read something holy, you can look at the lives of the sages, you can watch so many Satsangs. There's so much of it. You can hear such beautiful devotional music, you see. There is so much available to you for you to spend your life in a godly way. But to spend your life in a worldly way and then say, 'Oh yeah, yeah, but actually I am God' or 'I am that' is not going to help anyone. You may even impress everyone around you, but you can't fool the audience of one. That is the most important. So stop wasting time in that.

And sometimes there are life compulsions, like you need to make money for your family, you need to work, you need to do all of those things. That is fine. Then at least use whatever space you have inwardly to be with God. And I was saying that when your intention is to be in God, guided by the Atma within, then you will start to find so much space in which, in that seemingly busy work that you have, you'll find that actually most of it is available for God. So don't let your mind trick you and say, 'No, no, but I'm busy all day.' You see, in that all day, start with every five minutes, remember the name of God. Set an alarm for yourself if you have to. Do whatever. All the technology is available today to do that. But return, return to him. Every time you spend a moment picking God over Maya, your spirituality will deepen.

Every time Maya is calling you, hopefully we are able to notice at least something is calling you in the head, and you say, 'Okay, let me put on a bhajan.' Even that. 'Let me put on a bhajan, let me read a verse from the Bible, read something.' Even put on a YouTube video which I saved for later. It's one of the spiritual things that a great teacher was guiding me. Every time you change that, you're changing the trajectory of your life. That is why I was... wait, George also sent me this. Who sent me? Chim sent me this saying that... can you read it out? A C.S. Lewis quote. Was it a C.S. Lewis quote? 'Blessed but rather a lifetime of choosing to follow God.' So being blessed or successful, and successful in spiritual terms, is not a one-time event, tasted and done like that. Not a one-time event. It's a lifetime of constantly choosing God moment to moment like this.

Simply all of you can notice when your mind is tempting you with some nonsense waste of time, you see, because this whole game is about time. Instead, you turn toward God in some way. Just remember, just if nothing else, just return to his presence. If that is seeming difficult, then read something, hear a devotional song, hear a Satsang. This YouTube is full of so much beauty when it comes to spirituality. But this compounds. Choice after choice after choice after choice after choice. Keep turning towards God, keep turning towards God. Then you will see that it becomes easier, it becomes so full of joy, so full of love, peaceful. You find that the life can transform in that way. We don't make excuses for the mind, and don't make excuses for yourself to yourself. It doesn't matter what you say in Satsang, but at least with yourself, be full of integrity. You have to.

So it's being in that last bit that it creates sort of like a force field.

Exactly, exactly. Try my best effort. Very thankful. And we are so blessed in today's world that we can... sometimes we find it hard to read and maybe the Hindi and the Doha is too complicated, then at least we can go on the YouTube and put that on and start to get a sense of it. And again I'm saying, it doesn't matter production values and quality, none of those things matter to get the essence of it. You get like... and some of these things like watching that movie about Saint Nektarios, 'Man of God,' such a beautiful movie that I feel like these things can transform our journey fully. Just like you're so blessed to even read something, to just immerse yourself in some way.

So I've been making very childish sort of notes. Some of you may be laughing, which is good, but it's like that. Just my... even when I'm tired or something, it's just my attempt to stay with him. And as you're with the Holy Spirit within, the Atma within, you start to get insights, you start to understand things which you don't realize where it came from, how it happened, because these things are pristine. They're not available in a worldly way. And then as you immerse yourself in that, then that is how your life transforms, and those around you are also touched this way. But if you surround yourself in nonsense, which is basically in the realm of the dead, in the zombie world, and it's all dead stuff, so come to the true life.

So I want to make it simpler and simpler, and I want to make this expression also simpler and simpler. If you say, 'Okay, this is what's happening to me, I get caught up like this and then I'm helpless,' then I return, then I may have to ask you, 'Okay, tell me about your day. What did you do today? Was your day dedicated to God, devoted to God?' It was really that. What is building that force field is that force field that becomes natural in your existence when you're in God's presence. That will keep you safe from most of the mind's troubles, actually, as opposed to the suction power of the tempting mind and the worldly temptation. So remain in the force field of your heart, of the holiness of your heart. Then tell me what happened in your day. Did we pray? Did we inquire? Did we immerse ourselves in the words of the sages?

It's a project. Even though insight is instantaneous, if you can get this point that insight is instantaneous but the project is a lifetime project, then you will ripen really well in your spirituality because you will not be caught up in the separating mechanisms of the mind. So now we have to break out of these long-term conditions. The long-term conditions, like some of these reports... sorry, I'm just pointing out so that we break out of them, is that we've heard these for many, many years now. Now it is time for us to just wake up in the morning, say, 'Thank you God for this waking state. Please be with me throughout. I am yours and I'm available to serve you completely as you deem fit. And may this day go in praising you, loving you deeply in my heart, and please bless me with your presence.' And whatever throughout the day, we've structured our day around God, you know, that we remind ourselves that we have to pray throughout, name japa, remain in his presence throughout. The focus has to be on God throughout.

Then let's see if we can make a report at the end of the day saying that 'I came to a helpless situation.' And only then, by this point, all of us should be able to help those in helpless situations. We have to get out of them to be able to help our brothers and sisters in the world who seem to get into the world. But for that, you need to really commit to this. Let anyone make a report saying, 'I spent the whole day with God and then I was suffering so much,' or tell me why you can't do it. So someone says, for example, that the mind gets... okay, then maybe at the bodily level just bow down and sit for five minutes. Remember, these things may seem too simplistic, but just if you turn towards him in a childlike way, he is going to help. I can't keep saying, 'But my mind says, but my mind says.' Mind will say this only. What you have to not be enamored by it so much of what it is saying. What is your heart saying?

Two voices are speaking to you. One is so... like there are two couches over there. On one couch Krishna is sitting, on the other couch a fool is sitting. Both are talking at the same time. What are you going to do? That's literally how it is, no? The human condition. Silent Krishna is whispering, that's that. And the other one is a brat. The other one is a brat. It wants all the attention, it wants to be seen, it wants to do all of that, you see, because otherwise it's going to die. And you can't blame the brat for being a brat because if it doesn't get that attention, it's going to die. It's going to wither away with no power. Right now it's the king of your life, so that king doesn't want to go away. But can anyone say, 'I don't have the power to hear the whisper'? Can we say that? We can't say that. And if it is seeming that way, then put on a bhajan, do a mala, do a round of inquiry, do something. Change our life externally if you need to, to start something. Start with something smaller and you'll get the strength to go deeper. Start with something.

Then so your feeling should be that I am going to live in heaven even though this Maya is tempting. Heaven is what? It is to live in God's presence, you see. If you are with God, it is heaven. If you have left him, then it is hell, whatever the external circumstances. You could be living in a gold mansion with all the pleasures of the world, but if God's presence is not there, it will still feel like hell. So your intention should be that I can be with him. Like, there is no good reason ever not to be with him. As important as it may seem in the world, as the mind will tempt you, as it will say whatever, there's no reason ever to leave this. So use your prayer, use your inquiry. All these are potent tools. We must be grateful that the most potent tools are available to us to turn towards him. But the potency is just dependent on our intention. What do we really want? Then comes even more power. You stay one day with God and tell me in the evening about how much fear is there. You see, all this fear and all becomes like some clouds in the sky. You don't have to worry so much about them. They seem very big when we are immersing ourselves in self-concern. When we are just concerned about God, that... I mean, that is the only thing that is important. The parasitic mind makes you more scared. That fear comes, makes you fearful of the fear rather than the fear itself. Maybe a mosquito buzz.

It has even more power. You stay one day with God and tell me in the evening about how much fear is there. You see, all this fear and all becomes like some clouds in the sky. You don't have to worry so much about them. They seem very big when we are immersing ourselves in self-concern. When we are just concerned about God, I mean, that is the only thing that is important. The egoic mind makes you more scared. That fear comes and makes you fearful of the fear rather than the fear itself. It maybe a mosquito, but the fear of the fear seems like a dragon. All the tastes of this life are for us to experience, but you experience them in the right recipe when you're with God. So don't worry about anything. Things will come.

When I was young, my father used to tell me a story. There was a king who wanted to become the richest king, and he prayed and meditated to God, 'Please bless me. Whatever I will touch will become gold.' He was blessed. He started touching everything. In two days, he realized he can't eat. He touched his wife; his wife also became gold. Food also became gold. He said, 'Please take this away from me. I want my normal life back.' Absolutely. It is a popular story in the North. So, what does it tell us? That what we think we want, what we think we need, is actually very different from what our life actually needs. Okay, some hand is raised. It's Leah. Yeah, okay. Let's go to Leah.

Hi Father, Namaste. Can you hear me well? Yes, thank you. Yes, nice. I was enjoying very much the satsang. I feel very good right now. I was feeling these days that maybe I don't know, there was the rush to come up more often. Not like come up only when there's some trouble or something bad, but also to take the opportunity now because there is a lot of appreciation for this opportunity to share. Thank you. And yeah, I don't know really what to say, but I feel this time there have been like some beautiful findings here. I don't know, I want to share about it and maybe receive your guidance about this.

I've been feeling like, through your satsang in different ways, like there is coming more devotion here. Maybe things that in the past I thought I would find through inquiry, or that was maybe coming a bit like in a conceptual way, are flowering in a devotional way. And that's very beautiful. I was hearing last night that you said this about faith and devotion, like the faith to trust that God is here even if there is no complete recognition yet about it. Like just to have that faith. I feel I can relate to this more and more, and I'm trying to, as you are saying right now, through the day be with this. Be with this.

Yes, exactly. Yes. So you feel—what do you feel about that? Do you feel like you can, or it feels difficult?

I think I feel I can more and more. Also, of course, sometimes some worries or things come and disturb a little bit this state. But yes, you were saying something like that this faith—you are speaking like to be constantly in prayer—but that this prayer, I feel here, not necessarily always is with words. But that this recognition that God is here, that faith that God is here, to be in that is like the prayer also.

Yes, yes. Anything that—any moment of our life where God is at the center of it, right from the most beautiful silent prayer of just being with him in your heart, or just being in love with him in your heart, to the prayer where you're just involved in some worldly situation and things are going all over the place around you, but you inwardly are just chanting his name, doing your prayer, or you're checking into the nature of who you really are. So you're asking yourself 'Who am I?' and returning to that inside, which is also prayer actually. So all of this is prayer where we are saying that no matter what may be happening in the mind, what may be happening in the realm of Maya, but I am—my life is for God. My focus is on God moment to moment, every moment. So then it becomes like an unceasing prayer.

Yes, usually to just constantly be in the words may not be easy or may not be possible for many of us. Just to remind ourselves to remain with his presence, to keep the focus about him at all times, is very beautiful. And just to bring yourself back again and again to say, 'How can I serve you, Father?' or just to say, 'I love you, Father' in your heart, or whichever expression that you like to use, is to pray, is to be with him. Yes, to intend to be with him and to actually feel the presence, therefore to be with him—both of those are prayer.

Yes, I'm doing that. I was feeling right now also that sometimes one still feels like the polarization between self and Maya and the world. And I don't know, like the world, there's so crazy things, you know? And that sometimes in life happen like strong stuff. And that you are speaking like the voice of the two coaches and the voice of the foolish one—that sometimes that pull with these things feels tempting somehow also. But yeah, I don't know, I can feel that polarization, you know? And that is also like an exercise of faith, like to keep here and trust that this is like the right choice even if whatever is happening feels very strong.

Yes, yes, absolutely. That is the whole thing. It is every moment, in a way—I don't want to make it sound oppressive or something—but those who are meeting it in this way will notice that it's almost like a battle every moment where it's a battle for our center, you see? For our allegiance, for our focus. So the mind is fighting for that every moment. Maya is bringing up things every moment for us to be concerned about, either to worry about or to enjoy or to be tempted in some way. Some drama is constantly on you. But to just through all of that, you stay in your temple. Let it all come outwardly; you have to engage like that, like this, but inwardly stay with him.

Yes, I feel I can be like that more. It's like an ongoing exercise. A bit more.

Yes, it's a lifelong project, you see? But it is the most beautiful project. As we do it, it is not one of those projects where the fruit is only in the end outcome. The fruits of this project are just moment to moment as well. The fruit can be in the form of insight, in the form of a growing spiritual strength. It may not be—the fruits may not always be joy, bliss, peace, you see? The fruit can be that it seems like so difficult. Like some stages, it's like I feel like it's an inner wrestling match going on or an inner boxing match going on, you see? So it can feel like you get beaten up sometimes. But even that is the fruit where you grow in your strength. You know that you can deal with these temptations from Maya without giving in. And even when we fail and we do give in, we come back stronger and we say, 'Okay, I noticed what happened last time. I'm not going to fall for that trick again.' So constant growth even when it feels difficult.

Yes, nice. Yes. Also I want to share, I've been reading 'Jesus Calling.' I feel it's—you know this book? I feel it's very, very beautiful. It has like a passage for every day, like words from Christ, and very beautiful. And from that, it's coming like you are saying right now. I'm feeling also like somehow every situation comes from God, you know? And also the faith that everything comes from a higher love, you know, that we can't understand mentally.

Yes, exactly. A higher love which is beyond any understanding.

Yes, okay. And that it's like—I can't speak, sorry—like there is an opportunity in that. When difficult things come and one trusts, one can contend, you know? And like, yeah, something like that.

Yes, it's so difficult to put in words the fruits of this, what happens to us in the light of presence. It's very nice, very nice to hear you today. So that leap of faith as you are making, as we are making together in this, letting go of separation—and the only sin actually is the idea of separation, of the idea of individual will and to be separate from him. But that seems very compelling in the world because God's presence is hidden in plain sight. It is actually just here, right here. And yet in the realm of our senses, in the realm of perception, we can't seem to find it. And even in our understanding, even in our reasoning, we can't seem to find it.

So as we make that leap of faith out of just taking our perception to be real or our thinking as a source of knowledge, we just have to dive in to that which is calling us within our heart. All of us hear that call somewhere, but we don't take it to be real. We don't take it to be tangible. That's why so few seem to respond to the call of the heart. So I'm so glad that so many of you are responding to this heart calling. And then in your response to this heart calling, you are bound to meet this one who lives in your heart beyond perception, beyond visualization, beyond imagination, beyond the right words to speak. To meet that which is not of this world, the holy unperceivable light of his presence that transforms our life in every way. I'm very happy that so many of you are diving in like this, and it is bound to bear fruit. It is bound to bear fruit. In fact, the diving in is not separate from the fruit itself. We are given the gift instantaneously, and the gifts are immense, and they are always available to us, and they're ever sweetening, ever deepening. Okay, let's go to Kisha.

Hi Father. Oh, I don't know what's happening, but I can't hear you.

Father is here. Not so good? Is this better now?

So very much better. Yeah, so much better. Thank you.

So this—the promise that the sages have made is immense. They have said that in the process of learning from the Atma within, our life will become in the likeness of God himself. What an amazing promise, you see? And I'll be very surprised if they're lying. So what better use of this life can there be than to be transformed in his light and by his light to become—to be able to live as an emulation of God himself? To live like Ram, Krishna, Jesus. And all we need to do is surrender ourselves to the teacher within ourselves in our heart.

Yes. Yeah, I don't know. I just feel sick right now. I feel like it's very good news that I'm—no, I mean, not like that. Very good news, just the body right now. I don't know, when I came up to speak to you, I just feel like I'm going to faint or something. And what I wanted to say doesn't seem as important to say.

But these things can happen where at many layers of our being, in many rooms in our house, we have collected things because of life conditions. All of these things. So as we are being cleaned up by his light, then a lot of times we may experience this kind of releasing happening, you see? All of these things may naturally happen, or it could be something you ate, I don't know.

But I was—what Leah said to come up, I also wanted to come up for the same reason because I don't want to just come up when I hit rock bottom. And I would like to come up even before then, before tendrils grow and to nip things in the bud with you. And it was about conditioning. And that before it felt that if conditioning came up, then I might as well go with it because it was coming up for a reason, so I should just play it out full force. And now it feels like that it still comes—conditioning might still come—but with the faith deepening, it feels like that God will remove conditioning that...

It felt like things were starting to come up even before the tendrils grow, and to nip things in the bud. It was about conditioning. Before, it felt that if conditioning came up, then I might as well go with it because it was coming up for a reason, so I should just play it out full force. Now it feels like conditioning might still come, but with faith deepening, it feels like God will remove conditioning when it's time. If it stays, then it stays, but I don't have to indulge in it. I don't have to leave God when it comes.

Yeah, so let's go step by step into everything. We've been looking today—you must have heard—at this notion of helplessness or rock bottom in a way. When we say rock bottom, that implies a sort of progressive getting there, isn't it? So that progressive getting there, we can nip that in the bud also. We can notice when we are starting, when we are in the middle of it, and when we've gotten there. We notice all of these places. Can we ever come to that point? All of us will; I'm not saying we never will. But can that become rarer and rarer, and less and less frequent, by our just noticing when we immerse ourselves in that which is of the world and not that which is of God? We give it permission, so we stop giving permission quicker and quicker.

Maybe this is what you were saying: that even when it starts to play itself out, we don't have to leave God. In fact, we must dive in deeper into God's light when that happens, when it starts to tempt us, you see? So you can try like that. I mean, you have to follow your heart, but sometimes the experiments to try could be when the mind says, 'No, no, you're too tired, you can't pray now.' You see? You pray more than what you felt earlier in response to that kind of bullying by the mind. Sometimes like that—not always forceful in that way—but sometimes just to show the strength of your resolve, you know, the strength of your commitment. So the mind will have to think twice before bullying you again and pushing you into a corner again.

Well, it felt like if conditioning arose, then it meant that I had failed, and so I might as well give up. But it's not like that.

Yes, it is not like that exactly. The rising of conditioning is the appearance of these thought temptations. The rising of conditioning is the mere appearance of thought. Then we still have power over our ability to identify. The ability to give it belief or not is still up to us completely. Yes. And every time we do identify, then that becomes a more deeply held condition, a deeply held pattern, and then it seems to have more and more power. But every time you're able to let it go, as difficult as it may seem, then it starts to lose its power. Yeah. Literally, it's like these force fields—I don't want anyone to visualize them or start imagining force fields and things—but it's just like that. The more you stay with God, the stronger the force will become. The more you give into a condition, the stronger that condition becomes.

Yeah, I've heard these things before, but I don't know, it feels like new, like I'm hearing it for the first time. It's very much Star Wars: 'The Force is strong in this one.' That's what I heard. Yeah, of course. And what Chinmayi said the other day about when she got angry, and then she asked if this was the environment she wanted to create for God? I thought, wow, that's so helpful. Yeah, so thank you.

If you take our job seriously, which is the priest of God's temple—called humble priest, okay? No imagining 'great priest'—we are just humble priests in our heart temple. Then these questions become very important. What are we filling up in our temple? Is it love, kindness, compassion, truthfulness? Or is it anger, pride, resentment, grievances, vengefulness? All of these things. Everything fits in when God is in the center. Everything fits in when God is in the center: how to be, what is true, what is our reality. Everything fits in well. But when we try to remove God from the center and do this, especially spirituality, ourselves, it just becomes a joke actually. It just becomes all over the place. Everything's clear when God's at the center too; you can see clearly.

Exactly, exactly. Yeah, without His guidance, we cannot fathom anything spiritual at all. No, I just continued to pray, Father. There's a prayer that came up that's just asking Jesus to clean whatever... to clean me up so that it's a suitable place for God.

Yeah, I love that one. Is that Psalm 51 or 31?

Oh, I don't know. It's the Psalm... it's a beautiful one.

It's Psalm 51. 51 was really good. Okay, yeah. And I'm finding that even in the Ramacharitmanas, it is saying exactly the same thing: 'Clean me up from all this. I'm full of foolishness and unworthiness, but You can do anything. You have full power. So all I know is how to pray to You, and please help me, clean me up.' Come with them, yeah. Yes, yes, maybe so. Maybe so. Thank you.

I love you.

I love you too. Thank you. Let's go to Shweta.

Father, am I audible? Yes. Father, may I really remember to pray to You and not to my thoughts when actual situations come in my daily life. May I remember to really, really see Your grace, really leave everything, and speak to that silence.

I join you in this prayer, and may it be so for all of us. May we see only His grace. May we see only His life. May the temptations of Maya become lighter and lighter for us, but may we never lose our commitment to stay with God no matter how tempting the world may seem. And in our failures, may we not waste time in despair, but return to His light, which is forever waiting in our heart. Yes, yes, good.

Does anyone know how to sing the Psalms? Some traditional way to sing them? But they are meant to be sung, I heard, and it would be really nice to... so I was feeling that I've heard enough of my talking over twelve years now. So don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just saying that maybe we can just have like this talking-type Satsang for two hours, five or 5:15 to seven, and then we can read a bit of the scriptures. We can read, we can sing the Ramacharitmanas, and sing the Psalms if we can learn how to sing the Psalms also a bit. It would be really nice. And from seven to eight, probably we can do that. It would be nice too. And then we can see how it goes.

I have some feeling about this, but I don't want to jump the gun and say too much right now. Actually, you pick up any one paragraph, something will in itself, while you're reading in your being, it keeps speaking to you again and again, right? And then what I found was just one paragraph, then if you follow it word for word, a line, you try to experience what it says. Just in that, there are so many... it's like all the practices coming together, like the recipes coming together in a symphony, and then it just takes you into a very beautiful place.

Yes, it is symphonic like that. What I mean to say is all the different teachings that we have, it's so embedded in there. For instance, you know, it ends with 'boundless.' You go to the place where you are boundless. You know, it says, 'I find it sacrilegious to use the word this, I shall omit it, but I am boundless.' And then, 'no thing arises in me.' Go through Consciousness; Consciousness arises in me. And then you go to, 'in whom nothing is single.' Then you're in 'everything is in it.' Experience the unity is single, nothing is double. So all the sensations you feel are kind of more like artifacts of mind embedded in the unity. And then, 'no thing is.' You actually feel like what is, actually is, right? So what is actually impersonal is, and then nothing is not. Everything is just what is. And then it sort of cleanses you of person, person, person, person. More than any of this, I just thought scriptures are so full.

Yes, and we can do some of these scriptures. Ashtavakra Gita, of course, we love, and that meter we are sort of familiar with. Most of the Sanskrit scripture, like the Bhagavad Gita, will be similar. That's well embedded. I feel like the Ramacharitmanas will take at least six months. So half an hour we can read the Ramacharitmanas, half an hour we can read the Psalms book, and see. We can change as we go along. Yes, good. What do you feel? Gospel of Thomas? Gospel of Thomas, count it in. There's so much there. There's another aspect where I just feel like there's so much beauty around us, every tradition, every culture, so much about coming to God's light. Let's start with these and then see how it goes.

Very funny that in the morning sometimes I'm reading the Ramacharitmanas and then reading some part of the Bible. So then I open the Psalm book after reading the Ramacharitmanas, and something wants to sing it in that tune. I realize quickly that that is not the tune for it. Some of you already started reading at home, but what we can do is you can continue with wherever we are at home in that portion, but in the Satsang we can start next week sometime from the beginning. And so all of us can have the evening reading together and continue the morning one ourselves. It's good. I know you'll be good at singing the Manas; you've done it before.

Yes, there are various ways. Some say within a month, some say within three months, but we just right now will keep it open. Not the pace that we are reading because I have been... what, two, two and a half weeks or something, and hardly made it to the end. Oh really? Tell me more. He's not eating the chai, he just wants to get at the meaning of it. Oh really? Oh, we can give you one more for him. Oh yes, you went to the temple. Maybe it's all because of that. And Father should bring something there. You do want to come? We received so much love. You were with us when we went. We received so much love from his ashram and even Haridwar. It was so beautiful. The people there were so open-hearted. And even... this is the thing, even I remember that my Nani used to read there. At least my grandma was... she'd keep reading the word. So I don't know whether it was deeply immersed or it was, but at least reading is good enough. Is he the one that you were talking about, the one I met? Yeah, she was beautiful. He was very steady in her heart and very, very strong with devotion. It was really... I could tell that when I met her. She's really beautiful. I feel like the spiritual life, that much was clear to everyone. Go, yeah. Yeah.