True Source of Knowledge - 3rd November 2025

Now what is the construct of the relationship that you want with God? Do you just want them to be—the kids use this term these days—the 4:00 a.m. friend, and you just call at any time, 'I have this problem, help me,' like that? So do you want that kind of relationship or you want divine union? You want to merge with him, merge into him. Because if it is the latter, then this has to be unceasing. Our life in God's presence has to be unceasing. And according to me, that is the only way to live. There's no point living in this boxing match with Maya and then going to God only when you get the knockout punch and then once you feel better, back again, you see? Then get beaten up again, get knocked out, and then go back to God. But that is too much of a roller coaster. It doesn't lead to any depth or deepening of our insight, depth or deepening of our faith, of our love. It is just merely like a port of last call or something like, 'I try everything through my own means. When that doesn't work, I go to God.' That's not how we are designed. Our very design of the human life is to be lived in God's presence.

But it's not a forced design because then that love would not be of any value. How do you know? How do you know? How can you tell that our life is designed to be lived in God's presence? Can you tell? You must be able to tell with the evidence because you see that living in the livingness is God itself. God itself is living. Yes. But just to put it very practically and simply, we notice the difference in the texture of life also when lived in his presence, her presence, or lived on our own terms. We all sense that. So, can we all tell what our life is designed for? You see, so let's take a simple example. If you make a software engineer do graphic design, they'll complain, it won't go so well, they'll be very troubled, all of these things, and somewhere they will start to say, 'But I'm not meant for this.' Just to take a very rudimentary example.

So in the same way, when are we troubled the most? When are we out of character, but just like struggling, restless, anxious? So that itself should tell us that we've taken the wrong path, relying on that mean which doesn't have the capacity to run this life, empty, lost touch with the one who can, isn't it? So if we can take that as an indicator to bring us back to our center, to his presence, then we start to lead a life of unceasing prayer, of remaining in the sense 'I am' or unceasing prayer, constant insight, contemplation, whatever word you want to use. So we must live a life that is our very design. It feels the most simple, organic, natural when God's presence is with us. We are most insecure, struggling, when we are just caught up in our mental narratives.

Now, how many of us want both of these things to coexist? 'I want to live with God, but can't I have my narratives also? Would that be good?' You see, when you look at it this way, you notice that no, that would not be good and maybe it is not possible anyway. You see, but isn't our life a testimony to that in the sense that being spiritual, isn't that what we're trying to do? Squeeze some narrative or the other into the picture. You see? Yeah. Can you all see it or not? It's very important to spot it. Otherwise, you will feel like, 'I'm very spiritual,' you see, while most of the time being preoccupied with our own mental narratives. That is not to be spiritual because you've tried. We've all tried and we can't squeeze in any story into his temple except as a form of surrender. If we are too full of ourselves, then his presence is thankfully not felt because otherwise what compass would we have?

So what is it that you want? Because it's really not a sacrifice to let go of our narrative. Can you leave your story unfinished? Yeah. Whatever the name of the identity is, they lived their life. You can write an autobiography till this point and then nothing to say. Are you okay with that? That's what you're trying to really look at. And whatever you're not ready to let go of is what is the nature of your attachment at this moment. So just like the battery ran out of the receiver, the battery ran out on your story. There's nothing much really to report because what you're finding, it doesn't mean that your life becomes all stagnant and dull. No, it is because what you're finding, what you're learning, how you're growing, you cannot put into any construct of words.

We've been trying to do contemplation, contemplative prayer for quite some time. How many reports can you write about your contemplative experience? Very few, isn't it? Why? Why very few? Does that mean nothing is happening? It's a waste of time? The very famed stillness, quietitude, nididhyasana, even deeper samadhi—all of this, is it just all just a waste of time if you can't really report anything about it? Why is it not a waste of time? I'm really asking. But somewhere in our heart, somewhere we have faith that we are being transformed, isn't it, in a deep way without being able to say in words.

So suppose some relative or friend calls you—this time you've been in Bangalore longer than usual—so they say, 'What are you doing there? What are you learning? What is happening to you?' Hopefully it's a bit of a struggle to answer that question. That's what makes it so complicated for the world to understand what we're doing, because this process of transformation is that process of photosynthesis where our insides are being transformed in the light of the Atma within. Another way to say the same thing is that the seeming division between the Atma and me is now being dissolved. That is why it's very important to understand that you cannot judge the quality of your prayer. You can only give time to it. You cannot judge its quality because we don't have the instrument of judgment. We just have to trust that we allow ourselves to return again and again to his holy presence, and that has to be holy for us.

There has to be grace flowing because you cannot see it. And sometimes we can, in the sense that you may get the sense of some outpouring or you may see through your intuitive eyes within, but we'll come to those topics a bit later. Right now it's the leap of faith. So is there anything more valuable that can happen to us than this bathing in the light of the Atma? Can our time be better spent in something else? It just cannot be. How do we know? There's no evidence. That's the problem. If it could be that I go to the Atma within and in every hour I spend empty in its light there's more and more glow, more and more halo around my head, then at least everybody can see your time is not just wasting time. But because this quest is a matter of faith, these kind of outpourings cannot be counted on and are very rare.

So it's a matter of faith to even counter—basically it is about countering or letting go of the opposition of our own mind. Not so much of the world, but even of the world when it comes, it is about what our mind makes out of that, you see. So if you have a very good friend or a relative or a parent or a child who calls you and says, 'What are you doing with your life?' and you say, 'Oh, my Antahkarana is going through a process of photosynthesis with my Atma,' what do you feel is going to happen? Or even if you put it in better words, which is, 'I'm trying to lead a spiritual life which means to lead a life in God's presence,' what is the usual response? It means, 'Do it in some balance,' or even better, 'Do it later. You're not—it's not time for that.' No matter what age you're at, people always say there's time for you.

So nobody tells you what is the auspicious time to start. Their idea is that when you become utterly incapable of anything in the world, that would be the right time to start. That's what I was going to say, that once you get to that point, whether through some health or some mental thing or some whatever, once you get to that point we are very incapable of this project. In fact, it is this project which is so difficult, although to the world it seems like it's just wasting time. So we need to forget about explaining it to the world. Mostly what happens is that if you wait too long, and that too long is too long—today is not too late.

Time to start. That's what I was going to say: that once you get to that point, whether through some health or some mental thing or some whatever, once you get to that point, we are very incapable of this project. In fact, it is this project which is so difficult, although to the world it seemed like it's just wasting time. So we need to forget about explaining it to the world. Question. So mostly what happens is that if you wait too long—and that too long is too long. It's not today is not too late. But if you wait too long, then we are more deeply conditioned in our thinking patterns, in our narratives, to be able to let go.

So in India, it is very popular that after you've done all the greatest ashrams and all the ashrams, the final ashram is the phase where we focus only on God, and many people have had that template for their lives. But how many have we seen actually being able to do that? Very, very rare, because in the process of dealing with everything else, our grooves are so—our roads are so deeply inbuilt. Our grooves are so deep that to change our path seems very difficult. And Maya's design is to make sure that you waste time. He says he's right. You know, you don't have time. Yes. But try to come up with the trump card which is so convincing that you leave God for tomorrow.

And even the tiniest intellect, which all of us have, can look at this and see: where is this going? I have the best relationship, then what will you do with it? Yeah. You have the best healthy body, but you don't have peace. It's not—I'm not saying those things are bad. I'm just saying that if our focus is lopsided... you made a lot of money. There are buildings in your name. What can you do with them? Will you sleep on a whole building? We still sleep in one bedroom. Nothing. And then our weird extremes to which we go. You see, we have to wear one set of clothes and basically, after a certain point, the comfort of those clothes can't really increase much more. So then we make it about brand. And then we make it about, 'Oh, people should look at my clothes also and say wow.' All kind of weird absurdities we've got caught up in which are completely meaningless. None of this is going to survive death.

So in the Katha Upanishad, when Yamraj was talking to Nachiketa, he said, 'You're a young boy, why do you want to know about freedom, enlightenment, freedom from the cycle of birth and death? I'll give you everything you can ask for in this world. Palaces and servants and everything will be taken care of.' And he just asked him one—Yamraj Gita asked—'Which of these will survive you?' And Yamraj said, 'None of these will survive me.' None of these are going to survive. So when we forget that the nature of our life is this way, it's going to end soon. It may seem like so many years left. But just like the past half a century has gone in the life of this man and it only seems like a dream, the remaining few years will also go like that in the blink of an eye. And if we haven't made our place in the true place, all our worldly places, our worldly pedestals, are worthless, pointless. Hope all of us are seeing this point. Very important.

Anyway, it's a dream. But even if you give it reality, it's short-lived. So there's no winning here for us. You could be the president of the world. You could be the richest person. You could have everything that your mind could ask for, but it would mean nothing. None of that helps you to live in His presence where your true eternal life is. So we have to get our bearings right. What is our focus? And be very careful of the spiritual ego—spiritual 'I'—where in your head, this one also, but in your head. Because it'll get you involved in the lips of spirituality, in the perks of spirituality, but keep you away from the presence of spirit.

Whatever—what does it need? It needs one reason for today, that's all. It is very focused in its attempt. So the mind is very focused in its attempt. We keep wavering here and there. Maya is like, 'What will I give to this one today so that they will change their attention to Maya, their focus to Maya?' Instead, we can see all these tricks on one small thing, just one small thing. And then one small thing—really, there is no time to waver. But be careful of the tendency that once we've wasted time, we waste more time because we are guilty about wasting time. Suppose we wasted most of the day. Now it's evening or night, you see. Then we feel like, 'Oh, but Father had said we must not waste any day, we must be with God only, and I wasted it.' Then we keep thinking about that only. You see, instead of just returning. Whenever we spot that we are out of our center, out of God's presence, we return that instant we ask.

Place is a thing. But sometimes what she said is—because they can't hear on Zoom—what she said is that sometimes this mental force is so much that I can't really snap out of it, and although I may fool myself that I'm praying and I'm trying to be empty, it has me. Yeah. Isn't that the question? So that is why taking God's name or doing the inquiry is very helpful. So just like, think—think hard right now or something—that itself is also a good trick, you know. Instead of trying to stop it, say, 'Okay, now what? Give me all you got.' And then you notice it doesn't have so much. So then if you take God's name, if you say Ram or if you say the full ads prayer, depending on the grossness of the obstacle. You see, we use the heavier tool also to return. Yeah, you getting this point?

So if you're deeply involved in some big story, then use your full prayer. But if it's just some slight things, as a mind issue, just use God's name once. So then what happens? At least for that moment, the pattern is broken. The thought is saying, 'Oh, this one just doesn't understand me. He's like this. He does like this. He whatever whatever whatever.' You notice that and you return to your refuge, or Krishna or Jesus or Allah, you know, whatever. Yes. So, at least you get half a moment of reprieve. You get half a second where the mind is out of move. Just half a second, it'll regain its composure. But if you use your full prayer with as much heart as possible and you keep repeating, there is great benefit in repetition. Great benefit in repetition. Especially the name of God.

Or if you're inclined to the inquiry when the mind is, 'Oh, I'm really upset about this one today. This one has really upset me.' Then you say, 'Who is this me that is upset?' Literally try to find this me. Where is it? It's like you lost your phone and you're really looking. Where is the phone? You say, 'Where's my phone? Where's my phone?' What's the effect? No, it's not like that. So that when you use God's name with as much love as possible, it is activated. When you do the inquiry sincerely—in the sense it's not just 'Who am I? Who am I? Feeling better? Who am I?' You see, it's not like that. It's like, 'Who am I?' You see, like you lost something and you're really looking for it. As many times I used to say, just ask, 'Where am I?' Where are we looking at this set of sensations called the body from?

So either of these or both of these you can use to break the pattern of thought. But the key is that your focused prayer time gives you the muscles to be able to do this when you're not doing it, when you're not in focus. If you think that you'll be able to—it may happen in rare cases, but mostly if you believe that 'I can just become spiritual without any focus prayer, without any quiet contemplation or sadhana,' then it's not going to happen because we practice these muscles in that time. Getting a sense of what I mean? What do we learn during our focused prayer time? We let go of the mind, you see, because you're focusing on that project—that my project right now is to love God, to let go of the mind, or to find out who I am by letting go of my mind, you see.

So we spend that time—20 minutes, 30 minutes, 1 hour, whatever time—and during that time we learn that process so that then during the course of the day, when the stimulus is much more, when phone calls are happening and bosses are calling us and something else is happening, then if we're not used to it in the period of focus time, then we won't be able to do it when we are just held. Although our attempt has to be, but remember that as you deepen in your focused prayer time, then it'll seem easier in the unfocused also. So it's just like if you go to the gym every day, then when you have to lift suitcases in the airport, then it can seem easier. But if you just feel like, 'No, no, this is the technique, I'm just going to lift it like that,' you see, but you haven't really built those muscles, it doesn't happen. So we have to build the spiritual muscle of remaining in God's presence even when the mind offers a story, you see. So that focused prayer time is like going to the gym.

That's another practice; it is very important. It's literally practicing the right thing. Stay with God. Let go of the thoughts. The more you do it, the easier it will come. You see, I won't—at least in my case, I can't say it's easy now. Anything may happen and it's just easy now. I can only say it's easier. Easier. So it gets easier. But remember that the mind then starts to play this guerrilla warfare. It saves up with bullets and then waits for the opportune time. A family member is unwell or some relationship is in some trouble and then it starts to shoot, and then it troubles you with your thoughts about your spiritual progress itself. It says, 'But you should be over this by now.' How many of you have believed this idea? I've seen many of you over the years have believed this idea that 'I have been in Satsang so long, I should be over this by now.' You see, so the mind itself tricks us into believing this idea of spiritual progress. So focus prayer as much as possible every day and use God's name or use the inquiry sincerely. Break out of this pattern more and more.

Father, can I ask you something about what you're saying? Yes. Someone asked about what to do when deeply involved and you said the repetition of the name or to inquire. And lately you've been talking about—I don't know how to say this in my words—but we use the symbol or we use the name and then it feels like you're saying we wait for His grace to manifest. We don't do anything, so to speak. It's been understood here as almost as if the inquiry were the same as the repetition of the name in the sense of we say this, we say 'Who am I?' or we say 'Who is the one that is upset?' or we say 'Ram' or 'Jesus' and then we just keep our love and faith and openness. But just now you were saying, 'Look for, literally try to find it like you lost something,' and it feels like there's a difference in the guidance there. I had this question for some time but I was just letting go of it, but now it came back again because of the way that you were guiding.

Very useful. So give me an opportunity to expand on this point. So I was saying that the more strong the obstacle feels, the more gross our beginning point of prayer can be. You see, so if the obstacle is seeming very strong and I don't even want to take God's name, you know, just caught up in the story so deeply, then our mode of returning can also be very gross in the form of—we can just talk to God. We can just see, 'What is this happening? Why is this happening to me? Please try and help me in this thing. I don't know if you'll do anything but please, I'm looking.' You see, it can be like a very unfaithful sort of prayer also. It can be very just—we bring ourselves in whatever way we are to Him. But if it's a bit milder and we spotted it in time, then we can use the full ads prayer and we can repeat it a few times. We can use our breaths. Actually, if it seems very strong, then to do the prayer with the breath is a very strong response to that. And what happens with the words of prayer, especially when we're using the names of God—the names of God are a great gift to us because they're truly invoking that aspect of God.

We just bring ourselves in whatever way we are to Him. But if it's a bit milder and we spotted it in time, then we can use the full prayer, and we can repeat it a few times. We can use our breaths. Actually, if it seems very strong, then to do the prayer with the breath is a very strong response to that. And what happens with the words of prayer, especially when we're using the names of God—the names of God are a great gift to us because they're truly invoking that aspect of God. It's a true invocation as opposed to just words like 'Who am I?' you see, because 'Who am I?' can be different in every language. I don't know what it is in Spanish, but it could vary, so it doesn't seem that spiritually charged.

So, what is the way in which... okay, so before I get to the sameness of it, then what is the subtlest way also in which we can return to the same place? Just to turn inwards through an inner glance. Just the turning itself is an inner glance with love. So, from almost a semi-tantrum—like, I don't advise tantrums with God, but almost a tantrum with God—to just an inward glance, all of these can be methods that are used to return to that same place.

So, if you were to just say 'Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?' that does... at least in my experience, it doesn't return us to that place unless we say, 'But who am I?' What is that place we're talking about? That place is when we are not grasping onto our sensory knowledge or grasping onto our conceptual knowledge. Isn't that the place where we come to our heart, which means that we rely only on that mode of knowledge which is deeper, which is intuitive? So, if we just repeat the inquiry as a mantra, then that is not spiritually activated, at least in my experience. And it's very difficult to do 'Who am I?' with a lot of love and feeling. We can say Ram, Jesus, Allah with a lot of love and feeling so that the love, as it is called in India, the emotion... that is not a complete word that describes what it is, but there's that sense of deep love.

But you find that when you sincerely ask 'Who am I?' what happens? You see that automatically we notice 'I' can't be found. Especially if we've had some practice, we see that 'I' can't be found in the objects that I'm perceiving, you see? So we let go of the sensory mode of knowledge. Then we also know that just the words 'I am Brahman,' 'I am the Self,' 'I am the highest,' 'I am awareness' are not really satisfactory. I want to meet who I am. I want to 'see' who I am, in quotes. So, our experience is—and you can tell me if it is different for you—that when we sincerely do the inquiry, we are led to that very same place, and it is in that very same place that love, beauty, truth, all of these are revealed to us. In the very same place. It is very important that true love which is unconditional, true beauty which is not grasping at any objective experience, and the truth of who we are and what the world is and about everything to do with our condition—the Truth, capital T, is revealed here. The knowledge of the Self, Atma Gyan, Atma Darshan, is revealed at the same place.

So when you say Ram, you say Krishna, Allah, or you ask 'Who am I?' or you just turn your inward gaze—it can seem like attention, but it's indescribably more than attention—then we are all led to this what you can call the heart temple, or the holy gate, or His door, the sanctum sanctorum. Because both Self-knowledge, which is the truth, and love, devotion, faith—all of these are revealed and given only here. So it's only the methods which are different. But where they bring us, if they are truly spiritual, have to be in the presence of Spirit itself.

Suppose that you asked yourself 'Who am I?' and even very sincerely you asked 'Who am I?' and the mind said 'I am Brahman.' Then it may seem like a very convincing answer, but it is not the concept 'I am Brahman' or the concept 'I am the Self' which has to be revealed to us. It has to be the revelation that I am the Self, and that happens only in the light of the Atma itself, in the light of the Spirit itself.

Yeah. I feel like I am... like there's still something that I don't understand about the inquiry.

But maybe it's best for me to let go.

Well, I hope there's something we don't understand about everything I've said because the minute it's fully understood, then the mystery is gone. You see? And when the mystery is gone, we can't really remain empty and open waiting for the revelation. So even the process of taking God's name, how that pulls us in with love to His holy presence—I hope that's still a bit mysterious as well.

Yeah. No. Yeah. Of course. Of course. It's just that you have been so descriptive over the last months or years about the process of contemplation, and mostly of contemplation or going back to God, so these questions have come up about...

Sorry, as long as we see that from experience, we just have to try it out and see what happens. When I sincerely ask 'Who am I?' and the mind offers something... as has been said, when the mind comes up with an answer, we ask 'What witnesses this thought?' And if the answer comes 'I do,' then we go back to 'Who is this I? Who am I?' You see, it is not so much in the words of the inquiry that we're using. It is like if we say 'Where is my phone?' or 'Where is my iPhone?' or 'Where is my device?' It doesn't matter, you know? That's not really the important thing. The importance is the sincerity of the looking, you see? And if you're sincerely looking, we will discard the false modes of knowledge fairly quickly.

You see, so if somebody was to tell you, 'What's so difficult in finding out who you are? Just look everywhere with your eyes. You'll find it.' What will you tell them?

I can't.

Can't. So if I said to you, 'Okay, it's not possible with these physical eyes, you see, but what if you were to find it inwardly through your inward sight which shows you memories, imagination, images?' Surely with that inner sight you can find it. And I hope this is clear to everyone: that we cannot find it through the same mode that we can find our imagination, memories, all of these things. It is not going to be the revelation of who we are. It is not going to be a perceivable experience either inwardly or outwardly.

In the middle of action and the day and stuff going on, and at the same time the mind attacking with these strong things that are still coming up... when there is inquiry or there is mostly the name lately, it feels more of a calming down of the whole system than a true meeting with God. It feels like, okay, like a small pause and then just keep going. Especially when stuff that has been bottled down for so long is coming up lately, and now I'm allowing it to—I'm not blocking it anymore. So it's so much, so much, so much, and then there's for a second a pause after the name or after the inquiry, but it doesn't feel like it feels when I sit with God in the morning. It feels more like a pause in the chaos and then I go on and then it comes back. It feels more like that; it feels different.

But the calmness is a very beautiful gift, especially when there's so much chaos. So that's why the beautiful line that I heard when my son was unwell has been an anchor for me since then: that sometimes He calms the storm around us, and at other times He calms us in the middle of the storm. You see? And I'm deepening in my faith so much that if we pray sincerely—and in this case I'm including all methods including inquiry in the word prayer—if we pray sincerely, one of these two things is definitely going to happen.

I couldn't hear the beginning of it. One of these two things which are...?

Either He calms the storm around us, or He calms us in the middle of the storm.

Okay.

So, one of these two things happens, if not both, at least one. So that calmness, I won't really look down upon it. Not that you were doing that. But secondly, many times when that calmness comes and you have space in life in that moment, then remember that that calmness is like the appetizing drink at the beginning of the seven-course meal.

Mhm.

Many times for most of our brothers and sisters in the world, prayer or inquiry has become a feel-good mechanism. And then God in His intelligence also, after some time, says, 'No, I'm not going to just allow you to feel good on the basis of a spirituality which has nothing to do with Spirit.' So like I've often used to talk about this report one child made. She said, 'Father, help me.' I said, 'What happened?' So she said, 'The inquiry stopped working.' So I said, 'The inquiry can't stop working. What do you mean it stopped working?' So she said that earlier, no matter what was happening, if I just said the inquiry 'Who am I?' everything would become so peaceful, everything would settle down, you see, and it would work. Now if I say 'Who am I? Who am I?' it doesn't settle down, there is no peace, you see.

So I said, 'But what about the inquiry itself?' She said, 'What do you mean, what about the inquiry itself?' I said, 'The inquiry is not spiritual feel-good or spiritual sightseeing where you use it as a technique to just feel good or feel better.' You see, if those gifts are being given to us, it is to create the fertile climate, the fertile ground for a deeper introspection to happen. So, but God is not unkind. So if your life truly doesn't have that space then to dive in deeper, to make it focused and to spend time in your heart, then He understands that. But He's not going to allow spirituality to remain just a surface-level spirituality forever. He has to shake us out of that complacency. So that is why I'm cautioning that it does calm things down, but make sure that we are not just using it for that; we are using it to deepen our relationship, our love for God.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't feel like a surface level, but a lot of the time, you know, a lot of the time there's still the habit of getting caught up. It's not... yeah, there is no intention of a surface-level spirituality. There's no intention like that.

And I know this about you. I know you very well. So there's absolutely no intention of that. Just make sure that your application is trying to catch up with the intention as well. And I'm not saying your application is not. And the same for everyone: that many times, like all of us, most of us have been in Satsang long enough to know what the project is, what the intention is. Now we just have to do the application in terms of the focused prayer and to try and extend that into an unceasing prayer throughout the day as much as possible.

Yeah, it doesn't matter which tradition we come from. If you hear the Gurbani, they will say Japa means constant prayer, constant chanting, constant taking God's name. If you talk to the Christian saints and mystics, they will say unceasing prayer, as it is mentioned in the Bible. So how to make it unceasing? We can't make it unceasing unless we're doing more and more focused prayer, because still our spiritual muscles are built up allowing us to let go of the mind's temptations in that focused way. You'll find it next to impossible to do it when there's so much happening around us. At least this point I hope is clear for everyone. The value of focused prayer is that it gives us the toolkit, the strength, inner strength, spiritual strength to make our prayer an unceasing one. Finally, I wanted to say that even in moments of deep phenomenal chaos, and you just mentioned that sometimes all we can do is just talk with God as if we were talking to someone.

In that focused way, you'll find it next to impossible to do it when there's so much happening around us. At least this point, I hope, is clear for everyone. The value of focused prayer is that it gives us the toolkit, the strength—inner strength, spiritual strength—to make our prayer an unceasing one. Finally, I wanted to say that even in moments of deep phenomenal chaos, you just mentioned that sometimes all we can do is just talk with God as if we were talking to someone. I don't remember the way you said it, but it was very clear what you were saying. Something like that happened yesterday in a situation with my parents, and even that God used to infuse His grace, and pretty immediately. But it was all we could do at the moment.

To say that many things I talk to God about, most things I talk to God about, I forget. And most of the things that have worried me, have concerned me, He has resolved them. And I just take it for granted. I don't even—like, I made it such a big thing when I was talking to Him, but once they are resolved, I have just moved on. Not even thank Him and not even, you know, express my gratitude in my heart towards Him. So I noticed all this pride in me that when we go with our petition, it seems like the most important thing and He should literally drop everything else and focus on what I want at this point. Once it's all sorted and the problem goes away or what I wanted comes, then we don't give thanks enough. At least I don't give thanks, and that's an area I want to grow in: to be grateful for everything in whichever way it turns out. But specifically also, like we would do that for a friend also. We went to a friend and said, 'Friend, can you please do this for me?' and it is done, and we don't even thank him? That's not the best manner. But with God, we take it for granted very, very often. I'm noticing all these things in my life and this part I'm just sharing because this is something I want to be more vigilant of. Thank you. There's one more tendency I have which is that, like, I remember a few weeks back I was praying for something and it unfolds, but I have moved on thinking, 'Yeah, that's fine, but what about this?' Like something to do with work, and then that got resolved and, 'Okay, but now...' So the mind keeps trying to not allow us to live in just gratitude, faith, trust, abandonment to God.

We can say abandonment to God or, if you're inquiring, you can ask, 'Whose life is this?' Like, whose life is this really? You see, it's God's life. Just God's life. So that is a surrender in a sense. There is no 'me' here to claim this life. See, from the Gyan perspective and from a devotional perspective, whatever 'me' remains here belongs completely to You. So both bring us to the same point of realization, the same point of resting in the heart.

So don't—this has nothing to do with Georgie's question—but this is just my advice to everyone all the time: Don't bypass spirituality. Don't bypass spirit and spirituality. It's very popular these days to talk about Advaita bypassing and things like that. But I feel the sillier thing is to bypass spirit and spirituality. It's usually like saying to bypass food and dinner. 'And how was dinner?' 'Very good.' 'What did you eat?' 'Nothing.' 'I am very spiritual.' 'How much time spent with spirit?' 'What's that?' But isn't it spirituality?

So the mind's modes of understanding, of making sense of things, of knowledge—seeming knowledge capture or creation—have nothing to do with true Self-knowledge, Atma. How many of us feel like we are very spiritual? No one? Don't lie to me. Okay. How many of our families consider that, think we are very spiritual? It's a bit better, or 'too spiritual.' So are they right or are they wrong? I hope they're right. I hope they're right. Most of you I have seen in Satsang for many years. So if you are truly spiritual, then it must be about spirit, isn't it?

How many of you are trying to resolve life or life's problems without the help of spirit? That's what we have to change. That's what we have to change. So it's almost coming to this point where many times I'm starting to get this sense—like I got this sense earlier where everyone who asked me a question would implicitly or explicitly in some way say, 'But don't say "Who is the one who has this problem?" I don't want that answer from you. What else do you got? Give me that answer.' You see? So now I'm starting to get this sense that everyone's saying, 'Don't say "Give it to God" or, you see, "Be in God's presence." Give me some other solution.' But that is not—that solution would not be a spiritual solution.

To realize that both pointers are the same is what the conversation started with. To use God's name to come into His presence or to ask a question which is beyond the scope of the mind and intellect. So it doesn't only have to be the question 'Who am I?' although it's very important, probably the most potent. But like anything, whatever you resonate with, like 'What is love?' or 'Where am I?' Any of these questions the mind can't actually fathom and can be used to deepen our inquiry into the heart. That's why what we started Satsang with was also like a form of inquiry: 'What should I do?' But that needs an admittance that I can't solve it in the mind or the intellect. It's completely true. We can't. But to admit that, to accept that, makes it seem a little more indirect than a question like 'Who am I?' But if you were to really use this question to go to God for guidance, then it serves exactly the same purpose as the inquiry. Are you all with me in this?

And this is what Georgie's question was in one way. Like, ultimately do we have to land up at the same place? And ultimately I don't mean the ultimate truths; like moment to moment, this is where we are meant to go, whichever the pathway that gets us there. Yes. How will you find the answer to who you are?

Not on...

Yes. But where? Okay. Where will you find out?

In the heart, the resting place.

The same place. The same place that prayer brings us to. The same place, the heart temple with God's presence, the 'I am,' whatever you're saying. Are we all clear that this is the only place where we'll find this answer? Because that's where the Satguru, which is the Atma, lives. It's not the physical heart we're talking about.

What is... that also helps.

Exactly. Exactly. An episode of Ramayan can also bring us to that point. It brings us to that.

Yes.

See, okay, very good point. I'll take this with everyone. It's very, very good. So, what is more important: the method that gets us to that place, or that place?

That place.

That place, isn't it? Now, are you all clear about that or you're still very attached to, 'No, no, this method only has to be the best'? It could be that a method is best for you at the moment based on your temperament. That's absolutely fine. But we are not going to say only inquiry is best, or only prayer is best, only Bhajan is best, only this is best. That part is clear to everyone because it's not about what got us there, but who lives there.

Now, there, what are you meant to do? Not meant to do anything at all. Just like a patient being operated on by a surgeon. It's better if they don't do anything. You see? So that is the best. You see? So anything that we do there must only be so that we can return there, in the sense that if we are getting caught up in some Maya story, then we use the prayer, we use the inquiry, we use whatever method resonates with us to return over there. But over there, you see, it just... okay, let me not use the medical example. What can you do when lying down in the light of the sun to increase your tanning? Nothing. So you just have to lie there. You just have to soak it all in.

You see, now what is the nature of this light which is tanning us over there? It's not perceivable. Then how do we know it is there?

Can feel.

Yeah, you can feel it, but not as a feeling-feeling. No, it is an intuitive insight. It is an intuitive feeling. It's felt like something is transforming in you. Like you may even feel like a transmission of love, transmission of holiness, a transmission somewhere you may feel. Be careful not to imagine too much of this. So just leave it as natural and as organic because all our imagination will only become an obstacle just like that. So it is the nature of—like the Sufis said—it is a dazzling darkness. It's a dazzling darkness, which means that it can't really be perceivable and yet it is dazzling, transformative, much more than the outer sun, and is the inner light.

So it is transforming us in that way. And what are we receiving in this transmission? Like, our mind cannot fathom, but what are we receiving in this transition? We're getting transformed. We're receiving love. We're receiving beauty. We're receiving truth's insight. We're being nourished spiritually, you see, in all of these ways. And you will find that you have insight which you never realized—when did you receive this insight? You will see that your mouth starts speaking things and you don't know when you understood those things. Such beauty, such grace is received over there. A feeling of restfulness. A feeling of being taken care of, a feeling of not wanting anything out of the world. All of this is received over there in that transmission.

A dissolution of everything that is false is also happening in that process. So it is the holiest of holies. You cannot replace that by reading ten million books, by downloading the whole internet into your head. You see, you can't receive what we receive in one moment in the discipleship of the Atma. What we receive in that one moment through the mind will be absolutely nothing. But in our heart, it's completely transformative. And that is why it's very important to keep track of how well your prayer is going or not. Not because we can't—we don't have the mechanism which tells us how well it went. So don't judge your prayer life, but be vigilant about how much time you're spending in the intent to be with God. Don't say, 'Oh, he said don't keep track, so I don't know, it's been a few weeks since I took God's name. What do you think? I'm not keeping track really.' So it's not that.

Now, suppose that this whole thing didn't appeal to you: sitting at His door, sitting at His gate, the dazzling darkness, the illumination on the inside. Now, this is appealing to you. Isn't there an alternate spirituality? I mean, there's so many brands of spirituality. Can't you do something else?

No.

Can't do anything else. Well, you can do in terms of the methods. You might find a much more effective method, you see. But you cannot bypass this door. You cannot bypass His gate. You have to wait there with love, humility, and patience. Isn't there a different brand of spirituality which has nothing to do with the Atma? There is spirit itself. So you may call that something else. You may call it self-help, you may call it psychology, and all of them have their place in the world. But it is not spirituality. Clear? At least the project has to be cleared. So at least even if you don't like Satsang, you don't like this expression, 'this Ananta is very boring' or 'he mumbles all the time,' at least then if this is heeded: that wherever you go, is it bringing you closer to spirit in your heart? Is it bringing you to Atma Gyan, Atma Darshan? That is the proof of the pudding.

Isn't Gyan the highest path, Gyan Yoga the highest path? It's not about the path. Everyone actually carves their own path. Everyone takes influences from whatever God sends our way and our own path is going to be unique. That's the beauty of this. Isn't actually to come to the Atma, isn't it just very rare, one in a million? Why are we talking about it so much? If it's one in a million, then there's a 0.000000001% chance that it will happen for any of us. There's no such rule that has to be there. It is universal. God is alive, waiting, loving all of us as if—such a beautiful thing we read the other day—He loves us as if we are the only one there is. It's not about how to juggle time between seven billion, eight billion of us.

That's the beauty of this. Isn't actually to come to the Atma, isn't it just very rare, one in a million? Why are we talking about it so much? If it's one in a million, then there's a 0.000000001% chance that will happen for any of us. There's no such rule that has to be there. It is universal. God is alive, waiting, loving all of us. Such a beautiful thing we read the other day: He loves us as if we are the only one there is. It's not about how to juggle time between seven billion or eight billion of us. He's available to us as if we are His only child, His only beloved one, and that only He can do. So beautiful. What do we do with that love? Sorry, not meant to make everyone feel guilty, just to make us look in the right direction. Mostly, like, you can wait. Don't want to come. Is she frozen or am I frozen? Okay, she's moving. Yes, Alik.

Ah, hi Ananta. Thank you so much. I couldn't hear and I probably... so I am sure you already answered my question. I just want to be sure if I really understood well. So this is why it is just... I have a kind of new method in this couple of weeks. I only use one word, the word of love. And when I say love, love only, just love, I don't know why it is working now, but now this is the strongest to take me, to dissolve me. But what I wanted to ask, because there is a lot of side effects as well, feeling so much love—the feeling of love. I don't know if it's inside, but there is so much feeling coming with this as well. It's really beautiful, but it makes me a little bit like in a suspense of if I have to go further with inquiring who is the one who feels this love, or can I just stop there and just sunbathe in this love? Thank you.

So let's talk about love for a minute. It's difficult to talk about, but in terms of love, most of the world thinks it is like need or grasping or desire. So clearly that is not love. We've spoken about that in the past. Then a deeper love is like a feeling of felt love, like feeling so much love: "I feel love, you, I love love," like that. The outpouring of that feeling of love is that love. But as you follow the fragrance of this felt love, it brings us to even deeper love, which is like... it can be compared, or maybe it is the same to say that that dazzling darkness is not just truths and revelation and insight, it is also pure love. You see, from which the outpouring of this felt love comes, in which this tasting of this love is felt.

But that word to the mind seems so empty because it finds it emotionless. But this is not the emotion of love. This is the non-separation, the oneness of the heart. So love can be used both for that self-love and for that deeper place where we may even say that even the pure Nirguna Brahman is love itself. It may sound strange because we are used to the tasting of the outpouring of this felt love, but really when we say God is love, it is in that way. So love, if it is working as a pointer to bring you there, is very good. Now if it brings you there, what would you mean by going further? All that is further is what He can pull us into.

What happens there? We go through this process of actively offering up all our faculties to Him. And there comes a point that His grace will pull all of it in without any seeming effort from our side. And the deeper and deeper we go, the more we merge into Him. The more we recognize our reality of oneness with Him and, strangely, at the same time deepen in our devotion and servitude to Him. Although we recognize our oneness more and more, and this is something that our mental understanding can never do, you see. So if you just mentally understand "I am That," that will not help us to deepen in our servitude and devotion. It is only when we see the magnificence of Him, and therefore ourselves in the heart, we also deepen our devotional love and servitude to Him.

This is the product of insight as opposed to a product of conceptual understanding. So if you notice that anyone who comes to just a conceptual understanding that "I am That" doesn't want anything to do with servitude, like, "Who's there to serve God? I'm That only." But any sage who has come to the true recognition of "I am That" then realizes that this tiny being that still seems to flutter about in the world play, the only refuge for that one is to be in devotion and servitude to God. Therefore, their lives are spent in servitude and devotion and not selfishness. But all of this, once... all we can do is just collaborate or pretend to collaborate. But we have to pretend to collaborate until we come to this point. The rest of the pulling in is His job, to deepen in our Samadhi, to deepen in our stage of Samadhi. None of this we can do.

Otherwise you could just order and have, "What do I have to do?" Like someone says, "You have to chant this mantra seven times, thousand times." Nothing. There is no guarantee of any method coming to the dissolution of me or the dissolution of the universe. Only His grace can show us that. So His door, His gate, is the furthest point at which we can go. There is nothing further that we can do. So we wait at the edge of our possibilities. Welcome back. Welcome back. You don't have to really raise your hand and wait for Father.

I just want to thank you. Thank you. And also to offer up all this... it can take many names and forms and I don't know which one to pick. But...

Just like God, huh?

Say again?

Just like God can take many names and forms.

Yeah. But He's formless. Sorry. Whatever needs to be offered up. I felt the... and I feel it in my own experience, this Advaita arrogance. And I also feel when you say...

What does it say? What does the arrogance say?

I think it says, "I want it faster." That's not the worst version of what I have seen, but... all right. Yeah. And "I don't get enough." But I heard you when you say wait at His door with love and patience and humility. And I just pray that these attributes, features, come into my being by a miracle, Father. By His grace for all of us. For all.

See, it is His grace and a miracle for all of us. Because when I first said, "Father," it was this desire, but it's also coming from the mind to abide as much as possible, you know, in the heart. Remember when we are reading the Ramacharitmanas by Tulsidas Ji, he said whatever field we engage with more, that will grow in us. So if we engage with Maya more, the kusang as he called it—the bad company of the mind and worldly temptations—then that will grow more in our lives. The more time we spend in the Satsang, the presence, the company of the good, the company of the truths, then Satsang grows Satsang within us. Satsang provides the patience, the faith, all the virtues for us to grow in our Satsang. Prayer grows our prayer and the virtues that are needed for our prayer.

It is a miracle like you said. It is only His grace. Otherwise nobody in their own power—whatever that means, whatever we take our own power to be—nobody in their own power can have the patience to do this project, or the faith, or humility. It only comes by being with Him more. And not even... because many times we may feel like we're failing at being with Him, but just to carve out the time to carry the intention only to be with Him. Although the mind may succeed in distracting us, as long as our primary intent was to live in His presence, we will grow in our depth. So don't change where you want to go, where you want to be. Whether that happens or not, sometimes a lot of forces are at play to determine that. But as long as you don't change where you want to be, which is with Him, it is taken care of.

I could see, like, maybe in the past couple of weeks and even longer, that my faith and devotion is tested when physical pain comes and fear comes, and also when the situation, the living situation I guess with the children, becomes a bit more difficult. I also see the power of being in Satsang longer and more. And yeah, when these circumstances of physical pain or distraction with the children make the life a bit harder, I see...

Same here. Pain, attachment to children, all of these things are when it seems harder. But as long as when it doesn't seem impossible we stay with the project, these times will get easier and easier.

It is very true. It is very, very true. And I'm very grateful for the grace that is so abundant to allow this space and to be in the presence of Guruji and your presence and live in the Sangha field. Thank you so much.

Okay, my son has come to call me. There's some urgent call I have to join. So, I'll talk to you next time. Thank you so much.