The Truth Is Here Now - 3rd Dec 2018

Then in a way it does, because the 'me' for whom it could be bad is not going to survive to the end. It's not going to be the one who can judge as bad or not right. This 'me' is not going to stick around to the end. As the 'me' drops, it's grace. So the 'me' keeps on believing that there could be anything like suffering for me. So the 'me' wants to get rid of the 'me' suffering. You can see it like that.

Can I add something? Because it has been quite a few years. You're talking about surrendering. I don't know what expression you used already, but it's like you still have one eye open. I say I surrender, but just, you know, make sure that it's going to check out my way. I really feel because there is obviously a big desire, let's say, to offer everything. But in the meantime, as it's getting more and more like this desire, I see also the counter-expression. She was saying to one guy, maybe you can make this priority number one today. You get in silence, you empty yourself, and you just say to God, 'This is your day. How are you starting?'

Yeah, it's funny because during the day I still think that. At some point I got angry at something, you know, but thinking about it, I feel it's not even... it's an expression of consciousness. It's okay. There's nothing to do about it.

The thing that I wanted to say really is here, and I need the resistance. Sorry, say the last part again.

Yes, thank you.

I feel that, you know, the resistance to giving up doing it myself. Anyway, even if it's not so easy from that perspective, those vasanas and stuff. If you can just take everything. I'm still in the legend of the mind, you know, and the personal identity, and I have pieces of things too, which is great.

I'm going to dig in here. If there was no past, can you hear now? Okay. Now, suppose you've got one thing mixed up, which is that everything that you feel was in the past is actually going to happen in the future, and everything that you want in the future actually happened in the past. Then what? This now can only ever be like this. And if something is missing here right now, it can never be gotten. If something is missing here right now, it can never be. Why is that? What is missing here now?

Nothing is. And I could see this at any point of time. It was me here to make the presumption that time exists. Suppose time exists to be able to say this. Even if it does exist, you would only see this: if something is missing here now, that something will never come. If the truth is missing here now, that will never come. The only place to look for it, in a way, is just this right now. If you keep searching for it in the ghosts of past and future, the answer is going to be a mirage.

If I'm going to become a beggar, it's just this. Yeah, I'm going to need food and I need money.

Okay, here we come back to that point in a minute. But more importantly, what I'm saying is that if it is not here now, then it's never going to come. That is the mirage. That so-called freedom, that so-called Self, that so-called truth is here. So don't wander off into past and future. What's here now? Give yourself this gift. No story-fication, not even spiritual story-fication. If it is not here now, then all this trying, all of this vision, all of this is a waste of time. If there is something to this, it must be apparent now. It must be apparent. Don't go with what you think. Don't interpret even your feelings. Just stay with what you see.

What did that song say? Don't go chasing waterfalls. The most beautiful solution is here. Don't go chasing waterfalls, especially experiential ones. How many feel like, 'What's the big deal about what is here right now?' What does he keep pointing to again and again? The truth is apparent right now. My Self is here right now. You see complete freedom and truth in this very moment only if you still feel for it.

So let's look at that. This is something I'm really happy to speak about. You can say, 'Father, this is what I see,' without your additional labels of what you think you experience. As straight as possible. You see, as straight as possible, because in words you will have to use some label. Just like 'the coconut is in that extent' is a label, but not like 'green coconuts are sweet, I want sweet' and this kind of stuff. Just very straightforward. What is your experience right now? Is there some perception?

Yeah. Okay, it's like everything's labeled.

Is it possible... oh, we have to work on that level, that 'man, woman' like that? Or is it possible to go one layer below that?

Yeah. Sound. There's sound. Sound there, sound here. Some sensations.

And you took some of those sensations and called that set 'the body.' And presumably, some sensations are not the body and some sensations are. So you made that distinction. Is it possible to be without that? How do you ask? There are sensations. The sensations apparently... okay, you said some seem over there, some seem over here, and these are the body. So you took some that were apparently here and that was the body. But we could have left it as just sensations. Possible?

Yes.

So some sensations... what are these? Are they another group of sensations or whatever? Yeah, so there's some noise which is coming apparently from here, some noise which we've called 'sensation,' 'body,' all this. Let's call it all sensations or noise or whatever. Now, when you see thoughts, is it another type of sensation?

No.

What is it? Wait for the next one to come and watch it and tell me. What is it like? Is it like a voice? Is it like some visual? Are you perceiving sentences?

I say I don't know. Where do I get this? I don't know.

So just look at that. Give yourself that time here. Nothing else that I would rather do. Give yourself the time. Do you notice in what way these thoughts are perceived? Do you hear it as sound? Do you see it as visual? As a sentence? Many times these thoughts come and they come like this. The same difficulty is for some; they come for some of these here. It will be like, 'What are you talking about? I don't see any sentence like that.' It's like hearing some sound. In your case, how is it? How would you say it is?

Where are they projected? This question is asked.

So all these sensations are being experienced now. Would you say that where thoughts are perceived, that space is different from where these sensations are perceived? It is not different. So why that question specially for thought then? Where are we even projected? Where is all this projected? Okay, so all these projections are there. Sensations are there, and we have various terms for various sets of sensations. You see, like 'pain,' 'pleasure.' If we call these sensations these terms, then we can say, 'Okay, the body experiences these sensations.' Then the world is what we perceive in this field that we call the world. Thoughts we call a certain type of thing, an energy construct which has a message. So all of these sensations are there. What else is there right now?

Consciousness.

How is that perceived?

I have no idea. And yet consciousness was... was it just a conceptual answer?

Totally felt. So it is perceived as a feeling?

I feel it's a feeling.

Yeah, you feel it's a feeling. What is the quality of it? My feelings are polluted, like bliss, joy. All of these feelings, maybe they have certain qualities and they have one more thing, which is intensity. They seem to have this qualitative intensity sometimes. What about this consciousness?

No intensity. It is not... there's no regulator. Sometimes you have more, sometimes you have less. This is not it.

Sometimes more focus is on it, so it feels more, but it's never less. So for this conversation, I'm presuming that you're using the terms consciousness and awareness interchangeably, which is fine. But for consciousness, in the way we use it usually—but I will be tired of all these definitions myself, as you know—but usually how it is used in satsang is the sense of being, 'I am.' This is consciousness. And that which is aware even of this, and yet empty of even the sense of being or presence or even existence, that is called awareness. Understand? But it's okay. Awareness is usually used for the signs of what comes in. We call that the waking state or dream state, as opposed to deep sleep. What wakes up? That which wakes up and then dissolves in sleep, that is usually the consciousness. Also in Vedanta many times they have the term consciousness and then they have the term pure consciousness, which is unchanging, for how we would say awareness. That's okay, it's our language, so don't have to worry about any of that.

So all these sensations, all these perceptions are here. Okay. What else is there?

Something which is indescribable.

How intimate is it to you?

It's not different. Not different at all.

Does it undergo any sort of change? Is it affected by any appearance that might come, any feeling, any perception? If the mind is really loud, is that touched by it? If there is just open mental spaciousness, nothing seems to resist anything, is that touched by it? Who is aware of this one? There's something... that's what I want. Is there something about this? Let's put it that I cannot go further behind. I can see that. So all this is still from what you see now, isn't it? So if there is no difference between this, which has no further behind, nowhere to go... in fact, all these ideas don't make sense anymore over there, isn't it? Is there still a 'me' for it? Is there any intention, some change, something? Is there any intention?

Who is aware of this one? There's something—that's what I want. Is there something about this? But let's put it that I cannot go once if I don't feel, and I can see that. So all this is still from what you see now, isn't it? So if there is no difference between this, which has no further behind, nowhere to go, all special... in fact, all these ideas don't make sense anymore over there, isn't it? Is they still fronting me for it? Is there any time, some change, something? Is there any intention or desire? Is there anything you can say which captures it completely? Is there any way to get out of this? And is it... is all of this this straightforward in a pattern now? Isn't all of this quite apparent to you now in there about station? Even if there's a 'but,' it's not touching me. Yes.

Is there anyone else here which could be you, except this as you say? I would say yes, the truth, because this is my... yeah, connected to this button, yeah. So we said the set of sensations is there which you call the body. So you feel like something inhabits that, or you feel like... what are you saying about these sensations which you're not saying about other sensations? Okay, with that, that's going a bit far. Let's come back to our simplicity. No, we said we speak only from what we see, what we've seen, without adding any interpretation on top.

So you are saying that because I asked you, 'Is there besides this, which you find so untouched and changing—all of the Advaita attributes, in a way, actually present for this?' I said, 'Is there something else which you feel like could be you?' And you singled out one set of sensations. And I'm just asking: how come just that set of sensations, from what you see? Is it this sensationally inherently... is there a set of sensations which are automatically you and another which is not you?

There's the other, yeah, but that's just a layer of interpretation.

You saying just from the perceiving of it, what makes any set of sensations specially you and another not you? It's not the thing. Just from the perception piece, I think... what makes something you or not you automatically? As something is perceived, does something become you and something become not you without any interpretation?

This is worth checking. This is worth checking out: whether the set of sensations automatically have the claim that 'it is me' and another set of sensations automatically have the claim 'not me, you're outside' or something. Which set of sensations are you experiencing now which could have that claim that it is you? Give me some sensation which is 'this is me' automatically.

So some movements, feeling the heart is pumping, and organically it is you without interpretation?

Just like if experienced, is it... is the sound of this world automatically not you and the heart pumping sensation is you automatically? So hear this sound now and see how this is not you, and another sensation which you said earlier is in the same space, how that becomes you. This sound is here while I'm speaking so you can hear it, and other sensations. So what divides this sensation and that sensation, both experienced in the same—to use the term—space? So what is the dividing line? And any sound for that matter, I mean this, any visual. If something inherently deserves to claim 'me,' then we can say finally we found it, finally we found the person we were looking for. Just heart? Is that okay? Because the heart keeps changing. Heart sometimes has this or that. That's not really worth giving credibility to what we actually see.

Even now as the sensations are being experienced—body movements, sensations—all of this has been experienced. Do these sensations live? Haven't seen how to sense, or even the sun's not me, I do it. There are no sensations. A deeper place, there is no touched. The Patrick sees that which is aware is not making a judgment that 'time deeper justice' and that which is appearing is not inherently shallow or something like that. These distinctions are just notions on top of it. That which is aware, at what distance is it aware of that which it is aware of? How far is it from that sensation itself, the appearance? And it's not that consciousness, yeah, they go together. I don't know how to say.

So let's come back to what I was asking. I was saying that if the truth is not here now, then all of this is a sham, is a waste, and then reject. And what did you find exists? Is this different from that in a way? That's all saying that the deeper, shallow, are distinctions made, notions. And what is inherently here is this. Saying that 'this is not that' or 'is that saying I am not this'?

See, I have to say then that is because sometimes we may have the tendency to visualize. We may visualize like old empty space and then, okay, then this world is like that. But that awareness can be localized in that way, like separate from this world. So doing... sometimes we do use the terms of time. You guys here, this is happening in front of thing like this, but they're not to be taken too truly. Otherwise, we can make up in paintings outside awareness one time. So they are representations like that in spirituality, like statues of half Shiva and half Parvati. In the end, this kind of representation, they are not to be taken too literally. Otherwise, it makes special considerations about even that which is not in space. It's not like there's no... just every interpretation. There's no apparent me, this affiliation with you. All of it is just... he seems like one dancing happy, yeah. But even that one is a... in the next one, I mean, and I mean it just is. If you don't interpret anything and you don't judge anything as this or that... but that's also a judgment. I linked to the opposite of no, not like that. Whichever day, that which can only be tasted and not spoke.

It doesn't have an entrance, yeah. It doesn't have any disco move the mind off. I mean, in this sense of this feeling of, you know, the body sense more clear than always there. Then you looked at there was also an interpretation that this sentence was less than that mullet and if you made absolutely... and then what seemed appalling? It's just there's no distinction that I can't... there is no apparent me as well, you know, separate me as distinct from something else a necessity. Unless I make a me out, there isn't a special me there, but I'd still say... I mean, I can still perceive everything posture, all the perceptions are still have lives. There doesn't need to be a special me to perceive them.

Yes, and that's what's a pattern. What does seem to happen after like seven times, she starts feeling that 'I'm gonna sleep,' all right, central sleep. It's after seven to ten minutes. Okay, wherever you'd like to hang your light beam, that's an interpretation. Kayson lemons and she has a question. Good to see you idea. I'm going to pause my video of my audio for a bit. I'm going to mute so we can hear you better that way, and then when it's my turn to speak, I'll put it back on.

Okay, so basically I just had this presence, rather omnipresence is how I experience it. It's very much here. The person is just something that flickers on and off, and I'm giving increasingly less and less attention to that. And today I just had this thought: I'm not gonna do anything until this state moves me, this thing greater than the 'I,' until that moves this body, I'm not gonna do anything. So I just... I was at home all day. Nothing happened. I had dance class in the evening—I mentioned I'm a dancer—I didn't go. I didn't go to the gym; I normally work out a lot. I didn't leave the house. I didn't do anything. I didn't leave the sofa. I was just staring, just staring at the wall, staring outside, and that's all that happened. And there was a panic that I've just become very being lazy and not utilizing myself. I'm not doing Karma Yoga, I'm not doing seva, I'm just being lazy and this is all just a sham. Like that thought—not that it's a sham, but it can't be a sham because the omnipresence is very... it's very powerful, tangible, like I can't deny that. But that it's like, now what? What is there to do? I can't keep living doing nothing like this, you know? When am I going to move and do something? Is an exercise good? Isn't to add something good? Like these thoughts, the 'I' thoughts, these thoughts that motivated the 'I' in the past, all kind of came back and were scaring me. So I just wanted some light on that, please.

It's good, good word. Happy to hear the support. In fact, it's very familiar with some of the experiments that happened here. And it's funny how the mind comes and labels it, you see. You spent the whole day in presence, you see, and presumably at peace, and yet the mind came and said, 'But this is such a waste of time. You should be striving, you see, you should be doing stuff.' In fact, when you spoke, you talked about the things you did. You were sitting around, you were staring, you did all of that, you see. So in the waking state, there is no escape from activity. But what you said is that 'I am not going to be caught up in just this mind's desire to do this, to try and work this out this way or achieve something.'

And if you ask the mind, 'Okay, so if I achieve, achieve, achieve and do all of this stuff which I'm supposed to do, then what am I supposed to get out of that?' And the mind will say, 'Then you can be at peace. You can be still. You can be just enjoying yourselves.' It might even say you just chill or something, which seemed like is what happened. That will be the promised benefits at the end of this dark tunnel of striving, striving, striving. But actually, you found that they are just here naturally. What could be better than that?

The other thing is that because we have this condition that sitting around is bad and working like a donkey outside or something like that is good, you see, so then it could be that you spent the whole day with God, but that is like the worst thing you could have done, you see. If you were to ask me, there's no greater gift you could have given yourselves, but to the mind that is just a waste of time. Now, in what it wants to achieve, is there something greater than being with God, being with you? Over the matter, there isn't. If there isn't, is there something that the mind wants to achieve which does not come and go, which will not go with the death of this body? What will you keep for yourself out of your achievements?

So whatever... if you are to win some awards, you have made lots of money, you create a big name for yourselves, we put statues of you all over the world—what is going to last your death? After you're gone, nobody's going to come back to you and say, 'I see that statue is you.' No, nobody will see this. But what you are finding in this simplicity of just being is something which is unaffected by coming and going, by time, by space. So this is a very beautiful exercise. And by the way, there is no guarantee that the exercise always works out this way, you see. It's very beautiful how it worked out, but on some days you might find that the presence is moving the body a lot. So there is no saying that, 'Okay, because this is how it happened today, this is how it just has to happen every day.'

And yes, it is very natural and very nice for it to happen this way. In fact, this just sitting thing is very common. You hear a lot of the sages report, they will say after they just came to this place of rest and how long, long periods of time they were just sitting. So nothing to do, nowhere to go. So these mind judgments will not worry you so much, you see, because the mind will say, 'But do something.' But what could you do that is greater than being with God? What is the greater use of this life than not spending it on something which is ephemeral, then being with that which is eternal? I can't imagine a better use of life.

And then I'm gonna move freely. Thank you so much. I was just... I'm just a bit scared because I'm not used to operating from this place and I'm not used to operating without the 'I.' That 'I' has run my life.

The mind will see, but so do something. But what could you do that is greater than being with God? What is the greater use of this life than not spending it on something which is ephemeral, then being with that which is eternal? I can't imagine a better use of life.

Thank you so much. I was just a bit scared because I'm not used to operating from this place, and I'm not used to operating without the 'I' that has run my life this whole time. So it's terrifying, but I'm ready to jump and jump into this void, you know, to let it all go. I'm ready for that now.

The long-existent has never had any control ever, really. It is just the same God, the same being, the same consciousness who has taken the role and the identity and posed as if it is the limited one, and it has been running life from that perspective. But now being just wants to be consciousness, just wants to be conscious. God just wants to be God. It doesn't want to play necessarily with the limitation of being just one object, just one symptom. It doesn't want to just be limited to that identity, you see? So this beautiful aspect of its own play—it played as if it is limited and that was fine, and now it's playing as if it is beyond these limitations and that is fine too.

Don't even feel like you have to jump into something. Even let that be directed. Don't even feel that 'this is what I want to do now, I just now want to be gone' because that can also be a burden sometimes. In the sense of God pretending to be a person, then wanting God, you see? So that can be like a burdensome loop. Just in your little existence, you are that. No thought, just looking. No thought, just looking. No one looking. It's very good.

I read there is nothing to fear, nothing to fear. Only the supreme intelligence has done this life. And we say 'Guru Kripa Kevalam.' It is not so much that now Guru's grace will run a life; it is just a recognition that only that is and always has been. So there is no reason to fear at all. And even if some sensation of fear is coming, then don't fear the fear coming. Let it be, let it come. Your space is that vast that all these can come and go, but you remain untouched by them. It is naturally so. It is naturally so.

Because if you start fearing the fear, then that can seem to have them multiplying, also effectively. So just remain as open and empty of all judgments as you have them to be, and don't take any judgments about yourself. And don't see it one over that, 'Okay, yesterday was better, today is like this' or 'Today is better.' Just this thermometer, barometer, whatever measuring tape—it has no use. Yeah, so don't bother with it at all. Simply open and open. And what I'm saying is that if there are some moments where you find yourself closed and back to some notion, some thought, some concept, then well, let it be seen. Don't pick up new concepts of guilt and unworthiness or something like that. Just become empty again. That's nothing. You saw it, it's over. I love you.

Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you. Love you too. Thank you. It's not like this pool, this experiment, play around. Rather, it all feels like a wordplay, especially when you give monolithic answers for all the concepts below that fell apart. Practically all the words are wordplay, as we have none of it. All are weak, even this sort of duality between this and that. Okay, so then if this is true, then the opposite must be false too.

I've spoken about this often. So all of these words are just meant to push you beyond words. All these words are meant to go beyond words. It is not that some words are more true than others or something like that. It can seem like some words can push you more, but all of that is dependent on your conditioning. Don't you make this distinction of practical world or reality? All of these things—all of this is about forgetting words in a way. So many words about forgetting is not to give you a new dictionary. Which words can't you forget? And I said that you can have one stick, one thorn, anything. It can be 'Who am I?' Whatever you feel resonates with you in your heart, because it sets fire to all the other words to be used in the game. Where instead of saying 'it's just a thought,' I was saying 'forget it, forget I exist.'

The sense 'I' is like a bundle of thoughts fragmenting the consciousness. So this sense 'I' is like a bundle of thoughts. However, one said the mind is just open to those thoughts.

The good thing about this bundle is that you only deal with one at a time. It is like a line out. It might be fast, might say lots of things, but you only think one thing at a time. So instead of presuming that these are the things that I'm supposed to pick up now—which is the mind trying to tell you that this is what you're supposed to pick up now—if you just have the perspective that these are things one by one that I'm just supposed to let go of. Yeah, the sticks are coming. You don't make a bundle. They come and go. You make a mind out of it, which is the bundle of thoughts. And forget the label 'mind.' All you have to deal with at a time is one thought. All you have to deal with at one time is this one. In your openness, in your emptiness, it will come and go. No thought bundling now. Then you can call it mind, then it becomes like a nemesis to deal with or something like that.

That's a beautiful point. Thank you, thank you, my dear. Then Father, there is a heart which is saying there is another way of experiencing truth/reality that is apparent right now and I'm not experiencing it in the right way. Is it? This is just a thought?

Because you cannot mess this up. As hard as you try, you cannot avoid experiencing the truth right now for what it is. Even the play as identity, even the play with limiting thought is nothing for it. You are still experiencing this truth. The other way truth will also come and go. So this is the guarantee: you cannot make a mess of this. The truth cannot not be apparent to you. And there is no way to it because it is so naturally just—it just is. That's why it is. It just is. So always all these things are just like pointers to just what naturally is. There is no right way, wrong way, and you cannot do this wrong. And don't try to make the apparent nature of this truth like an 'aha' of the mind. Because recently, sitting with that 'aha,' we keep holding back on, 'Then I see nothing, I don't know what he's talking about.' What would you like? That you just keep waiting for it to say 'aha,' that 'yes, it is that.' Don't wait for that certificate, really.

It's more like that which was the limiting voice here has been seen through, and it is like just an intuitive voice which is really speaking. Of course, it does have its five minutes of pain sometimes, but just this non-grasping sort of voice speaks visually. And the one who wants or doesn't want—all of this kind of voice comes up once in a while. So it says 'hi.' Even sometimes to resist the voice, it seems like...

Yes, yes, of course, because they're next to you. It's like they're jealous when they come. Actually, you better come, you know, building down. And then because you heard something that the truth is no-thing, more something either. Do you really just want nothing? What's on offer here? Come, come, let's go recollect when we had that special experience with the sixth chakra going through the roof or something, like blue light was all over. What about that?

Is it this kind of thing? So all these will take you away from that substratum in which even that experience happened, you see? Which is you. So that will be the cousin. And it is that same very same supreme intelligence which gives light to all of these experiences. It plays with the mind, saying often in this, 'Come, let's go for different stuff, better stuff.' You see something? Imagine that you're actually talking to others who've not been in Satsang. They ask you, 'So what happened?' 'Nothing.' And you just tell them you just see the truth which is just naturally and completely apparent to you right now. 'Right now? And why do we need to come to Satsang if it is so apparent? Why do I need to go do something and what's so special about right now anyway?' This is like the mind running after this and that more than just what is.

Two or three years ago, I asked Mooji. He answered to somebody like what you have said, which is basically the problem is you still want something from the mind, you know? You want that losing this. Oh yeah, no, no, like this. Still, it's true, but I still see it like I still want because I'm kind of in a way I know, but in a way also I don't believe in all of the same thing.

So as you become less and less certain of everything that you believe, the good thing is that this is like a beautiful forgetting or dissolution. It is not necessary that you have to have a more comfortable knowing of the truth or something like that. So the play also to the truth—as you become less and less certain about that of which you're certain at the moment, that 'what is it?' or to recently learn that this is not that you need something new. The 'me' is very strong, 'me' and 'mine.'

Yeah, there's a tiny one. Do you know we also have to question this belief? To also question this belief that it is very strong. Like, we don't even know that for certain, do you? If it was so strong, it would last one moment. But it has not lasted this moment. Has it lasted this moment right now? Don't think about it now.

And yet I will say to what you say, that's fine. Have this life. No way to mess this up. And even if this selfish play has a limited identity as the ego or whatever, it is just a play. That's why we call it a play. Any difference, actually? So the 'me' is strong. Wait for the wait.

How long do the gossiping starts on? If it also plays an important role in this, all it needs to be alone. It helps as much as because you don't know what influences you. Just like some influence should go in the right direction to understand more the truth as it becomes part of you. Other things may influence you otherwise. People, they come here 90% then go back to 10%. Like somebody was saying about people who are negative are able to touch more, and those who are able to... was it? Can you say something bad about a person? There's a tendency never going to be in that person, right person. In fact, we say something, people say, 'Okay, it was very good.' You may have the quality. One of our masters said, 'I could say I love you a hundred times and you would be like, "Yeah, he just says it." I hate you—if I say it once, "God, he hates me. This is definitely the truth."' So the nature of the mind, in a way what you shared, is to be attracted to that which seems like it's a judgment. And a person who is arguing something negative is more intimate.

It's more forceful. It's really spectacular. Yes, and you have some good points on the side, something very positive. What you're going to be able to case, especially expression like this one which has hold, is like 'mind is very strong.' Strong way of talking. Look at Ram, forceful. Then it's so short in this roundness, but a ballistic—it is that essentially. More these things usually are very strong. Network, childhood ambition, and all those conditionings. We were just left a little time on their own way to live in natural. I realized everything is fine.

Yes, even that which seems so not fine in the moment. Like how she started, she said that this 'Guru Kripa Kevalam' means that everything ultimately will work out for my good. And that's why I said that even Bhagwan said ultimately everything will be set right. In the end, everything works out. So yeah.

When you were walking us through the sensations that we appear body, immediately it occurred to me that I believed I was the body. Yes, and then I started questioning. There are so many beliefs that way. It means everything that we are saying, expressing, seeing—it's a belief. And yet there's only one true. Everything else is a belief.

It seems to me that everything ultimately will work out for my good, and that's why I said that even Bhagwan said ultimately everything will be set right in the end; everything works out. So yeah, when you were walking us through the sensations that we appear as, the body immediately occurred to me that I believed I was the body. Yes, and then I started questioning. There are so many beliefs that way. It means everything that we are saying, expressing, see, it's a belief, and yet there's only one true. Everything else...

Actually, the funny thing in this is that you can believe only a concept. You cannot even believe a sensation. So we club a set of sensations in a way, like mentally put them together, and give that a little body. So it's just like we take a set of perceptions—brown color, steel handle, hinges—and we give it the name 'door.' It's a set of perceptions, sensations, but inherently in them, there is nothing to believe or not believe in the perception, you see. It is only the label that gets our belief, see.

So when we say, 'I was believing I was the body,' the mind uses the evidence, which is the experience of these sensations, and gives that the label, this notion, you see. And that you can believe. Without that notion, there is nothing to believe or not believe, see. Therefore, to remain in the unborn is more natural because it is not in opposition to any perception. It is only when the notions are applied to these perceptions and we start accepting them that they become identity. If you didn't have this label that 'this is body' and 'body is me,' you didn't have these two notions. For example, 'body' and 'me'—it's all just words leading to other words leading to other words. You need other words. So at the root is the I-thought, in a way, the fundamental thought. But as you let go of making this reference, tell me, all of this house of cards, it falls apart.

But this is a useful tip, which is that there is nothing to believe, you know, in the perception itself. Perceive this specifically, you here now perceiving this. What are you believing about it? And yes, I did know some on top. It's not written here. There is nothing. You were not saying anything. It is being perceived, you see. So this narrative layer comes on top like the subtitles of the movie, and only those can be believed. If I say, 'Believe this,' what would you say to that? Or 'Don't believe this.' Even if you say, 'Don't believe this,' you say, 'Ah, I have the belief it is not there now. I am trying to believe it is not there.' But that is still a notion. It is not this, you see. It's the layer of foundation that you put on top of this. 'Believe this.' How to do it? Believe it? What would you believe? This? But don't think about it, because you can only believe concepts, notions.

Inherently, in even perception, there is nothing to believe or not believe. This is what I'm trying to point you to. It is not in the content of your perception itself. It is only the interpretation of it, the judgment of it, which gets our belief or not. It is meaningless to say 'believe this' or 'don't believe this.' Meaningless to say, because the body with a set of sensations there—believe it? Only when you apply a notion or term. And the minute you call it 'body,' then you start applying this notion, 'I am this body,' 'that one is that body,' 'I am this character.' But all of this is absent from this perception. That is the point of ignorance. That is the point of just God picking up the play, and it picks up this thing which is just not there. If it were substantively present somewhere, then you could say, 'Okay, here it is. This is where you rotate out from,' see. But it is not actually to be found anywhere, this 'I,' this 'me,' this 'mind.'

Like you just said, it isn't as if something which was non-existent now became a me. So only that which existed, that consciousness, only that itself has the power to imagine itself as something. So it's not creating something new other than itself, you know. In a way, maybe it's strong even you said that, because we have the notion that 'I have to make this ego go away,' as if it's something which needs to go away, as if it is something that is here. Yeah, to his point, yeah, yeah, it's just a thought, you know. Let me see. I-thought, it is just a thought. It's like a fundamental key premise of most thought. If you look at most thought, what is the fundamental premise? It is this 'me,' this 'I.' Like I am saying this, this is that, this is what is implied—that there is a 'you,' you know, this thought belongs to.

So the I-thought is pointing to this premise of limited existence here, but yet identity, which is inherent in, which is presumed in most thought. Like, 'I don't like this' or 'I am understanding this' or 'I feel like I'm getting to freedom.' Who is that 'I' being pointed to? That is just a thought. So, the thought of being a separate individual, no, it is implied when you say any of these statements: 'I am getting this,' 'I want freedom,' 'I don't want,' 'I woke up at this time.' And all of this is implied, which 'I' that is at all. 'They are feeling sleepy,' 'I am really understanding today.' We look at all of this stuff. 'I'm so happy with my life,' 'I'm so unhappy.' All of this is just a thought, that I-thought, the premise of all of this. There is no one. Yeah, yeah, nobody. Dead man walking. This seemed like insanity to this. That seems like insanity.

And it can happen to us on a weekend. We get so caught up in something and a limited identity that it will seem like because of them. But we do know we can. Some things happen and they decide, 'Oh, I hope this is just, you know, insanity. I have to get back to the real world.' You kind of get caught in that notion and it can seem to play out that way. And I'm sitting here, and especially in the time I feel so open, empty, all things were just coming and going. It's so clear that there is nobody here who's this way or that way. You just feel like, 'Wow, look at the world, that's insanity.' So the question of the six blindfolded men with the elephant, the question of perspective.

Just one thing before that, which is a helpful family tip, is that what I found in this life more and more is that if somebody is only holding on to a particular perspective—like they are convinced it's a pillar or a rope—then you don't have to necessarily shake them and say, 'How much elephant can't you figure out? I had to cover my blindfold.' This is what happens. Like Plato's allegory of the cave, the one who steps out and sees the sun first is momentarily blinded by it. When he gets used to it and he sees the light, 'This is the real world,' then he comes back to the cave and he starts saying all of this, that 'You guys, you're not seeing, the shadows are not the real you.' And they don't like him at all. He was expecting that they will treat him like a Messiah or something and say, 'Thank you for showing us the light and freedom.' He would actually be attacked because we just have this particular perspective of what reality is. So you don't have to—I mean, whatever we please about this one—but just a tip is not to maybe force pull out a shadow perspective or something like that.

We don't put a label. So with this, don't think we just need all this. So when the door, because I was not even to see the word or anything, but this thing in mind within this experience, there is less sound within. If I did make a secret door and then you're walking through the world and somebody pushed it, it's just like the Matrix. There is within experience, in the perception and change, whatever there is, less sound is there.

I mean, let me tell you one thing. Sometimes I notice years of them, like we are close to a hospital, isn't it? Yeah, this is the video might be shot, so close to this hospital, Manipal Hospital. So what happens sometimes is that the ambulances come—not sometimes, quite often. And for us sitting in this Satsang hall, it can feel like such a loud sound, whatever, a disturbance, you see, a thing like this. But for those who are sitting in the ambulance waiting to get to the hospital, they must be hoping like the sound was louder and everybody would move quicker so they can get the patient to the emergency room. So all of these are also a question of perspective, is it right? What is loud or not loud is what we need to set the benchmark at, is it? If you were in the ambulance having a heart attack or something, 'Here I come, you know, get all the plays louder,' whatever you do at all. But because we feel like we are in Satsang and you are here to be in silence or something like that, then it's a disturbance. So what is it actually? It has really nothing, nothing beyond that.

Sometimes I do be asking whether there's something more and better, and as I can see that will be what I perceive exists, this body too. And I perceive this body here, sounds like I mean...

Are you talking when Jesus talks from time to time? But mostly it let go. Mostly it just comes and goes. Yeah, very soft. It used to be loud, yes. And I need to learn many of those, and it seems like such a burden, some life to live constantly living with judgment. Yes, this is right, this is wrong, this should be, this should not be, this is what you should do, this is what you should not do. Who left? Good. Don't do this, don't say this. All of these, do this, have this, put in our data. Just like, and you live like I guess so, but don't seem like it's getting us.

Like sometimes I give the examples, you know, as a kid, like there was a lot of arrogance, a lot of like specialness like that. Outwardly very nice and polite and things, but a lot of this thing, like my mind was crazy. It was just like, I remember that one thought it gave me when I landed in Bangalore twenty-something years back, which is I got off the airplane, looked at the city, I was like, 'One day I'm going to be the king of this.' Young, 21-year-old, 'I'm going to be rule.' Don't have these thoughts, you know, that you have a software empire like that. I would just look back at those times and in fact, I was very young, maybe 22 or 23, and I had work and I met a very eminent Bangalore person. Oh, I met him in the lift and I'm saying to him, 'Hi, I'm Ananta, and you don't know me yet.' Silly, your silliness and arrogance of thinking here. I just remember being so burdened by this ego. It's like so light, but outwardly it's still mostly smile, polite, and very so.

But I look at that phase and it's just so... and inverse, I guess I have to say in a way, this phase of being the spiritual seeker, this is so like chasing this rainbow, you know, called freedom. And especially experiences, and getting some experiences here and there, some light show sometime. I think that is how it should be, and then going to masters and pretending to be humble and polite but actually feeling very special actually, you know. And I wanted, 'Man, I deserve it, where is master?' You know, they'd be like this kind of thing. I remember those times where just what dichotomy playing out.

And one day like that, I remember going to one time, going to the head of the former head of the chain management and going to him and just wanting to show off, just wanting to show off. Okay, she's talking to them about projection of the mind and why we can't build palaces for ourselves, this kind of thing. So I began and specialized. I felt like I knew something and I've got something, meditation and then experiences, this kind of full of all of this. But life is great because it collapses you out of this stuff. Going into relationships, having so much challenge, all these things, and all every aspect is the every aspect of life which you thought. I'm so grateful for all of this getting snapped out, so grateful for it being snapped out and still be open to that thing. Because I know if I was arrogant, it might still be here that, yeah, I mean, I've also had a bit. So the play is always like this. It might be a blind spot. Please slap it out of me, come quickly, open, don't waste any time. Slap, slap away into beauty, grace, whatever name you want to give it. This delusion is too burdensome. So funny in a way that I said all.

I'm so grateful for all of this getting snapped out. So grateful. Point, snap down, and still be open to that thing. Because I know if I was arrogant, it might still be here. The clay is always like this. It might be a blind spot; please slap it out of me. Come quickly, open, don't waste any time. Slap, slap away into beauty, grace, whatever name you want to give it. This delusion is too burdensome.

It is so funny in a way that I said all that, and it's such a burden to carry. And yet somebody said—I think it was Laguna—she said, 'You again?' In India, we have this concept that after the body dies, in the first moment, you meet a Master, and the Master guides you through death. So suppose the death of this one happened like this, not like the sleep state, but like there is another day. 'Okay, let me light number 42. You did all right. And 43, let's change a bit of this.' And like that, how do you find the way to come back and then be burdened, and then to be unburdened again? It's a dichotomy in a way, because I can look back at that and say, 'Wow, that was very strange.' I met the original, not so deep, that is right. It was just like the play of Consciousness playing with itself in this way.

And there's another point to go, because I know at the bottom of it, the root of it, at the center of it, nothing really happened. It not really affected anything in reality. That's if you know. Then it's still fine going back a hundred times. But if you don't know that, and then you come back... and if that one doesn't—which one? The one who claims to know it doesn't want to come back. Yes, everyone keeps coming back moment to moment. I start with the first thought, first want to come back, don't want to come back. You just keep. Those who really know the truth, that nothing really happened to them, in that we can say a hundred million more. But those who are saying, 'I don't want to come back, I've had enough of this,' that same voice actually keeps coming back. It just keeps.

But is there an 'I' left which can or cannot come back?

Is there an 'I' left which can or cannot come back? In the sense of the play as Consciousness, oh yeah. Same being. If there's the distance, 'I am' has to pick up the notion 'I am something' a few more times. It is notional. That's not against truly existing. Nothing substantively actually happened.

Do you have a choice?

Nobody has a choice of it. We're definitely strong, maybe a humbler in the play. So maybe the grace of the Satguru, that somebody has to be even sincerely, not just this. So definitely there, effortless.

But is it like this? Like when you said like life slapped you, like let's say, yeah, thank you, thank you. You put effort, at first you put effort, let's face it. It keeps like, you know, in this rut. It just does, really. And then like, it's kind of frustrating and you keep doing, and at some point you even drop your expectations because you think, 'Okay, the only thing is I can do but to do.' But I don't know, we can give up something else besides apparently. And at some point I just feel like I can't really change my behavior or something. You know, some expectations or conditionings are still playing out the same way, but I just feel at some point it just exhausts itself. It just must exhaust itself.

Yeah, not to be so... it just exhausts itself.

Because I felt like I tried to change so many things, being on the Buddhist way and stuff before, and maybe psychically they changed, I don't know. But I don't think they can really change it. So I just kind of... no, I do, I just keep doing and just keep watching, observing, and thinking it would just exhaust itself. It's super frustrating. I can't change it. At some point it drops. Is it like this?

You know, yes. I'll completely contradict myself in two minutes now. Yes, because there is that move. What would work? Like, what is the move I should make that I should be ultimately out of moves? 'Oh, so now my only move is to pull the power cable.' Does it work? Of course. But do you want to be out of moves? It will exhaust itself, yeah. Also, by little something I got a behavior, not from this over to the ground. Yeah, that's almost all right. She really said, I forgot to say to me, notice how the teacher was going to give me... okay. Kant wants to read a poem I wrote. Let's do that at the end.

My dear, Ananta, oh my. I just want to say some was so beautiful this morning. It's just overall, particularly I love you sharing your experiences. It's just, I just love that. When my sister was talking earlier, what she even spoke, I saw her picture; this brought me joy. Let me, I don't want to butcher her name, I'm trying to find it now. Simran. Simran, okay. Before she even spoke, I just felt something with her looking at her picture. I've seen everybody this morning, I just want to say that part. I just saw her, I just felt something, right? So when she spoke, I didn't see her image and I was doing stuff around the house and I felt something again. I felt a joy in just her speech, you know. I told you about my mantras and my little things about me, right? And stuff. And I play a lot, a lot of that comes from inspiration from hearing stuff from you, hearing stuff from Mooji, hearing stuff all the time. When she was speaking, I felt exactly where you were coming from. And I sing little songs to myself and little, I call them mantras or whatever. And I had a poem for you, which is for me and for us. Oh, I just felt it. So it's really short, and I just see us. I'll read it to you, okay? I titled it 'Home.' Home for Simran, whatever your name is, I'm sorry. All right, really short. All right. Nothing better than being with God. Stay in this place, just be. No prob, nothing to fear. God is forever here. Omnipresence you are. Shadow, God's star. I hope you like it. I have little stuff like this all the time. Just one more that I want to share with you guys, just a really short one that I just kind of just see in my mind because we were talking about it today. And it goes, 'In the end, it all be okay.' That's the words I heard around my nose saying, 'In the end, it all be okay.' That's the words I heard around my nose saying. And I just sing this for myself when I kind of go through it. One second, I'll keep that one for myself and I'll keep that 'sitting on the left' one to myself and I'll share that one later. But I hope you liked it. I loved sharing with you guys. Okay, just let you know, sister, I write music and stuff all the time, and when I develop this song, I'll send it right away. Okay, all right. Thank you for listening. Thank you for letting me share, Father.

It was sweet. Thank you. Thank you, my love. Thank you all so much for being in Satsang today. Satguru Sri Mooji Baba Ki Jai. Guru Sri Ananta Ji Ki Jai. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.