The More We Feel That God Is Here, the Easier It Becomes - 14th February 2025

So it's true for all other vasanas like lust, greed, everywhere you are starting with something which is not directly the...

I feel that the others—I don't feel like, I could be completely wrong and it could be pride—but the other vasanas may not be as strong here. But this irritation, tendency to be irritated or tendency to want to be right, may still play out. So that is currently what I'm working on. Maybe other things will show up after this to work on those.

I think that's the thing, is that what happens is that we even... like, a lot of these things happen post-event, post the irritation, post the anger.

So what we must not do is justify to ourselves. Then we are making disclaimers in the words of the sages. So if Ma has clearly said that unless you have the power like Rishi Durvasa to turn somebody back to life, then you must not get angry like him or angry at all, so you must take that as the truth and we must work on that. If we justify, if we say, 'No, no, but this was because of this,' everything is because of something else. We always have a narrative to prove ourselves right. The only problem is that we are the only one who believes that narrative or has that narrative, and the ones around us usually bearing the brunt of the anger have a completely different narrative. And we have no mechanism by which to say that my story is really better than your story or truer than your story.

So suppose that God was sitting right here and He's watching everything—what everyone is doing, what everyone is saying, how they are behaving, how they are interacting, what is right, what is wrong—then what is my business to try and get angry and correct people, you see? So we take justice from His hand into ours, saying, 'I will fix this, I will get into righteousness.' This doesn't mean that we can't advise, we can't guide, but if it is coming from the heart, we can. And my heart has never told me to get angry so far. Krishna has not told me like Arjun to pick up the bow and arrow; He's not told me that. But don't... like, many times these can become excuses that, 'Oh, but I was guided.' To be very careful what you claim as guidance also. Be very careful of silly excuses like I used to make when I was much younger, that it's all some Shiva energy coming through me and you know, all that kind of rubbish.

I see myself making excuses of, 'Yeah, the Maya is very strong and she is just winning.' That's fine, that's one-zero for her, that's it.

So at least you have to admit then you fell for Maya. Sorry, you have to admit then that you fell for Maya, isn't it? If you fell for Maya, then you have to work on that.

Yeah, but it's more like, 'It's not me, it's Maya.'

No, no, no. It's a very common confusion that Maya is the appearance, you see. Maya is the appearance mixed with the sense of 'me.' Me-a is Maya. That's also from Ma. So if you are clear about that, that unless I get caught up in the 'me,' what is this world? It's harmless and innocent. That's why when we are empty, empty of narratives, what is there in this world? What can hurt me?

So suppose you come one day very angry and I'm empty, and you say, 'You're the worst teacher one could have ever had. I wasted all my life with you. When you were talking, it was just rubbish and I want all those years back that I gave to you.' Suppose like that. And if I'm empty, then I'm just empty. But if I take on the position, 'Oh, he's talking about me,' and then I buy the narrative, 'But I always had his best intentions and I wanted to lead him to God,' and get involved with the narrative, then we could activate that 'me' and then Maya, this appearance, starts to feel like it has juice. Just appearance without juice is not Maya. When the appearance starts to feel real, it has juice, it has bite, you see, it has gravity, then it is Maya.

So if you are just empty, then there's no real difference between you giving me a compliment or you saying you're just the worst. And even if you did not take that extreme position of emptiness, suppose that you took on the position of surrendering to God, then all you can do when a child is feeling like that—and thankfully nobody, this is not a real report that has come to me from anyone recently—but we should be able to say that may God bless them and may they truly find what they're looking for. So really, just anything that gets in the way of your being empty, loving God, or loving God, being empty, whichever way you look at it, whether Jnana or Bhakti, doesn't matter. And you find that in your life, what gets in the way are all of these vasanas that you spoke about, all of these things like anger, lust, greed, and you know, doership, duality, all of these things. So whatever gets in the way of the true spirit of life, we must work towards discarding that.

The character that comes to mind is Nisargadatta Maharaj when you're speaking about these things, because he was known to be quite fiery. And knowing that, it's hard to say that no action should be...

So with one thing you must know is that he was a real timid teacher initially when he started sharing. To the extent of... he was very timid as a teacher when he started. To the extent that with all the slippers lying outside, he would go arrange them for his disciples and all that. Then one day it just occurred to him that none of his disciples are really taking him seriously or listening to what he's saying. So then he put on this—at least that's what I heard—that he then decided to be really strong and 'you better listen,' like this kind of approach. So there is some higher intention in that expression and hopefully that it was just an outer... so even if it outwardly may appear as anger, if the internal position is that of love. But not to justify that as...

That applies to a sage like him.

That will apply to a sage like him. We must not put ourselves in that category yet.

Yes, yes, of course. Yes, I think that on this path, the more one is with God, the more one is... I think that it's not so much about 'I must be, I must not be unkind, I must not be angry, I must be patient,' because I think this we are all as human beings unable to keep on telling ourselves and beating ourselves up about not being kind and not being... because the 'I' can never be all that it's made out to be.

Yes, yes, that's a good point. But I have to say that sometimes the Checker guy is usually very oppressive, yes. But sometimes spiritual pride has set in, so it is telling us the stories of our spiritual progress or enlightenment and these kind of things. But when these things show up like greed, grasping, desire, doership, duality, all of these things, then we must not brush them under the carpet and say, 'So what?'

Sorry, if I can just finish that point, is that we must not get into any of these narratives like you rightly said. But many times I have seen that many of my children get into an early sort of conclusion on their emptiness while these things continue to happen, you see? Which is a denial of what life is really showing them—that they're clearly not empty, they're clearly not living in the Unborn. If anger is rampant, if grasping is rampant, if desire is rampant, all of these things are rampant, then we must take the indicator to really look within and say, 'What is it that I'm really buying into? What is the narrative that I'm really buying into?'

In fact, when I was with the Art of Living many, many years ago, I could parrot everything that Guruji was saying at that point of time. But then some events happened in my life with my business and things like that, and I went through a lot of suffering. So really this question—thankfully this question came—that if you are as accomplished, as much of a spiritual achiever as you believe you are, then how come you are still suffering with all of this stuff? And that question, that inquiry, then led me again to reinvigorate the inquiry of who I really am. I started reading a lot of Maharaj and Bhagavan Ramana. But it could have been... I mean, my mind could have easily justified it and said, 'Oh, but these events are happening and it's all right, it's all right.' So it's a balance. It's kind of a balance in the sense that you know from your heart whether you're getting into some sort of a denial or whether you're really not trying to let the Checker guy oppress you. So that is the balance.

Because the mind can take this on and make... like, it can take on every pointing in satsang and really use that as a mode of operation as well. So we have to be a little heartfelt about that. The thing with the Checker guy is there's literally nothing I can say that it will not use to trouble you. So the validity of the pointer is where it takes us. If it takes us towards loving God, towards emptiness, then it is valid. If it takes us more into 'me, me, me,' then it can be discarded there. Like again, we spoke about Maharaj. Somebody asked him that, 'This particular pointer of yours, it always troubles me, you see.' So he said, 'Then throw it away. I've given you a thousand other pointers, use those, you see? Why do you have to resolve the one that always troubles you, please?'

So the point really is not to get mastery or get insight into every pointer that you hear in satsang. The point is to have your toolkit of three or four key pointers which bring you to that holy place where true insight flowers and true love flowers. Of course, for the exam coming next week, you may need to know... sorry, I cut you off.

No, no. Father, once you said also a really important thing about the Checker guy, that vigilance...

Why do you have to resolve the one that always troubles you, please? So the point really is not to get mastery or get insight into every pointer that you hear in satsang. The point is to have your toolkit of three or four key pointers which bring you to that holy place where true insight flowers and true love flowers. Of course, for the exam coming next week, you may need to know—sorry, I cut you off.

No, no. Father, once you said also a really important thing about the checker guy, that vigilance is the way to not have the checker guy behind one, but it is to come from a different space. And you called it vigilance, and that if you really sit with that, it's a very big difference.

So if you look at any point, including let's say that I said you must be vigilant—Papaji said you must be vigilant till our dying breath—so suppose we take that to be the pointer. The checker guy can get a hold of that and just start beating you up with it and say, 'See, Father had said you must be vigilant; you're not being vigilant, you should be more vigilant,' you see? And it can make us feel very unworthy and guilty and things like this. But really, if it is heard in another way, then it reminds us to just empty ourselves up again. Be vigilant to any thought patterns being believed. So that is the thing.

The danger with direct satsang can be that the checker guy can become really strong and oppressive for us. The other major danger is that it sounds so straightforward that we may hear it and we just start applying it to everyone in our life. I used to do this; I became this Advaita jerk for quite some time. Anybody would tell me anything, I would say—like Gurucharan would come from a hard day at the office and she would say something, 'This happened to me,' and I would say, 'But who is the I?' without that question having any juice there, any inclination there. Hopefully, the intent was to try and help, but many times we just want to push our way through because we think now we know something because we know these pointers to be empty or to let go of thoughts, you see.

When to apply them? When you sense that there is openness, when there is resonance with others. That's why we don't force anyone to come to satsang, and I always caution anyone: don't force any friends and relatives to come because they will just come, they will hear all this, and they'll just feel like beaten up or unworthy or, you see, something may not be ready. So let Grace purely guide them in that way. You can check if there's openness, but if they feel like no, no, then it's okay not to force it.

Yeah. Or even like, you know, I went through something and if I was finding it hard to forgive someone for something, and it's like you're so focused on the other person. Then you think that—and then you can't—you keep thinking like you're doing the other person a favor or a disfavor all the time. And then when you realize that it's only about you, and that when you get angry you've left a great place exactly and gone down a misery path. When you can't forgive, you are the one who is drying up in whatever. And then when you realize it's only you, only you, there is such freedom because we're sometimes so other-person-centric. And that really freed me. Buddha said that we are not punished because of our anger, but by the anger itself.

Forgiveness is very important. It's very important. That's why it was kind of my New Year's resolution to forgive everything instantly. I don't know how I'm doing on that; I feel I'm doing all right, to forgive everything instantly.

A Course in Miracles says lack of love is an attack on God. Yes. And I was looking at this, and Jesus Christ said that what you do to your neighbor, you do to me. The intent is to love, Father, but many times there are times when I fail miserably and it just pollutes the whole environment—mind to begin with, and then it shows on the outside. I can't be myself; I can't lock eyes. The intent is to follow, but I don't know how.

So what to do when we fail? Like it also says in A Course in Miracles that love holds no grievances. So what to do when we fail? We recognize what made us fail, we notice those triggers, you see, and we intend even stronger not to fall for those triggers. And your intention, then the power of your intention becomes stronger and stronger. So when that trigger comes, if you made an intention, 'No, not that one ever again.' At one point I used to say that let us not fall for the same trick over and over; let's fall for new tricks. If you've fallen for a trick from the mind, say to the mind, 'No, not this one ever again. You better bring me new material if you want me to get caught up.' So identify the areas with which your buttons get pressed and intend to throw away that remote.

Many times it's not outward anger, but it's resentment. It's held for some time, some days, because it doesn't—it's not loud and expressive. But both are equally harmful. Anger leads to resentment; resentment leads to hate. But I don't know how to work with this one. Leave justice to God? Is it? Sometimes it's very foggy. I don't even see—the trigger is not clear. I don't know what.

Once you find yourself in a state of resentment, you will notice your inner environment is not fully at peace. It doesn't feel light; it doesn't feel the ease of being is not there, you see. So we must keep praying, praying, praying, or inquiring, inquiring, inquiring till our environment comes back to that. And sometimes there's nothing like a wound where there's nothing we can do now to heal it, you see, but God heals everything. It's very painful.

Yes, that's why it is an attack on ourselves. An attack on ourselves because, like you said, sometimes it doesn't express outwardly, but inwardly it is making the environment of our heart temple contaminated, polluted.

So when you said, 'Okay, you can't be angry,' I said for some time: so don't let irritation become anger, don't let anger become resentment, don't let resentment become hate. All these are inner alarm clocks which are buzzing hard, which means run to God, run to God, run to God. Find out who you are, find out who you are. Who's been attacked?

Father, when you said the first time I heard this, I was in denial. I said, 'Okay, I don't get angry so much.' But on a daily basis, there are times, there are so many times I get irritated. And it's not—I don't express it, it doesn't come out as anger, but then it's held inside and I can see it. It tastes really bad.

It's important to see that taste because that means that you're starting to care more about being with God rather than being right, you see. It tastes good when you care about being right, and that for one moment of that feeling, it takes many hours for me to come back to God. It's not worth it. It's a bad deal. It's a bad deal. Anger is a bad deal, resentment even more so.

How do I deal with it, Father?

Pray, pray, inquire. Sometimes a simple inquiry can help. If you're feeling very attacked, then just ask yourself: who is the one that is attacked? Ask yourself now, if you're holding something, who is that who was attacked? Who is that?

Not able to, yes. Because what can happen is the question probably took you off guard, took the mind off guard. So now it is like, who is there that can be attacked? Is there an attack on the body? So the body is what we take ourselves to be in this Maya, you see, but actually the body is just an innocent instrument.

The one I take myself to be is—but there is no such one. Is there such a one? Is there such a one? Where is it? Where are you? I'm here, yes. But the one that is here, in what way can that one be attacked? What word can attack you? What weapon can burn you? What can harm you in any way? Where is the 'me'? Just a concept or a set of beliefs. So emptying ourselves of these false beliefs is to be rid of avidya. And if some beliefs are to remain, then those beliefs must be that 'I'm a servant of God, I'm a child of God, I love God, just about God is.' And then as we get closer and closer to remaining fully in God, then even those will not seem so real. They seem very sweet and innocent and nice, but it's like we join God in playing His Leela.

What do you want most in your life? So what does it mean to want God, or when will you know that you succeeded? When I'm not you, yes. Whether we call that recognition of the absolute reality of the Self or we call that a divine merging, a divine union, till then we must not become complacent. And anything that contaminates our heart space must be shown the door.

What do you mean by complacent?

That's what—so anything that contaminates our heart space in our temple must be shown the exit route very fast. We cannot be like that theme song from a Hindi movie, but sometimes like Krishna is telling Arjun that don't love your attachments, don't love those which are getting in the way of God. Fight, be rid of them, you see. The thing is that if you felt like there's no time, then we would really fight. But because we have this idea that there is time, we feel like we can allow it to fester for a bit and, you know, it'll resolve all this thing. So those who really have a fire for God must then set fire to all that is false as quickly as possible.

I see the resentment thing bothering me and I want to be free of it. I see it as an obstacle. It takes me away from God for a few hours and it's not a nice feeling.

And actually, resentment—in the way I look at it, anger can take us away, disconnect us from our just simplicity of loving God, His presence, for a few hours. Resentment can be fairly long-drawn. It can go on for weeks, months, years sometimes.

And because we don't like experiencing that and we feel like the other person caused it in us, then we start to hate another, be like, 'You did that to me.' I'm seeing that every time that plays, more than attacking another, I'm attacking myself.

Yeah, because you have no way of attacking another. You can only attack another with their permission. It's like you can be attacked by another only by your permission. If you're empty, like I said, what can attack you? Or if your only position is to grasp on tight to the feet of God and be loving Him with all your heart, what can happen in this world? 'I see only Your feet.' If that is your attitude, either of being just empty or 'I see only the Lord's feet,' then what will one do?

And remember that without pride, there is no resentment. That may be a tough pill to swallow, but we must be proud somewhere that we feel that we are so right, we feel that the other one is so wrong. We know something so deeply that we must take on the grievance onto ourselves. When God is fully aware of everything, what is our business in the world? To judge brothers and sisters? To hold anger and resentment against them? Can that be our business in the world? That can only be our business in the world if God is not real. But if He is real and He is here and He cares and He can do everything, then... so at worst, you can just say, if somebody's really attacking you, you just go inwards and say, 'Are You seeing this, God? Are You seeing this?' That's all we can lament to, see what's happening in Your kingdom.

Sometimes if you're very—to add to what she's saying—then if there's nothing happening, then it's like, 'Are You spineless here? At least stand for right things.' And so those things, I mean for yourself, yes, or your lamenting with God. Like, whatever you're saying really feels very difficult. But how do you know what is good or right?

Sometimes isn't it pretty obvious? No. If it was that obvious, it would be obvious to everyone. And if it is obvious to everyone, then they would do what is right. So because another who is making you angry has a different version of what is right or what is acceptable.

It's like, are you spineless here? At least stand for right things. And so those things, I mean for yourself, yes, or your relenting with God. Like, it's whatever you're saying really feels very difficult. But how do you know what is good or right? Sometimes isn't it pretty obvious?

No. If it was that obvious, it would be obvious to everyone. And if it is obvious to everyone, then they would do what is right. So, because another who is making you angry has a different version of what is right, or what is acceptable, or what is true, is it so? What is good and what is right is only—I've said this often—is only what God is guiding you to. So if you say to me, which I will question very hard, but if you say to me that God guided you in your heart to be like Arjun and pick up your bow and arrow, then it is right. And in that moment, that was his Dharma. Okay? For Buddha to go to the jungle, to leave his responsibility, that was his Dharma. If the story was told another way, if Krishna had told Arjuna, 'Keep your bow and arrow down. You are right. You must leave this Maya Jal. It's only trapping you more. You go to the jungle,' and Arjuna became a great enlightened sage, then that would have been right. So, Dharma is only what God is telling us to do. So when you stand up for that which is right, you better make sure that we know that from God within. Otherwise, in every war, in every conflict, in every argument, both sides think they're right. Only the whole trouble is that everybody feels like they're standing up for the right, but the right is coming from the wrong place, not the right place.

And why does it need us to be aggressive, be angry when we're standing up for the right? Maybe again a justification coming that, oh, it's impacting—let's say my wife is angry, so it's impacting not only me, it's for my kids also, right? So that justification comes: I should at least stand for my kids, not for me.

You're laughing, and your being angry will help the kids? They'll probably be more upset with you after that. So like I said, so what once again...

It's the only resistance coming, Father, is that it will be a—I know where you're coming from, but I feel it will be a passive life, a vegetative life, if not even standing up for what you think. Sorry.

No, no. Of course, that is the resistance, that 'I'll just be a doormat, I'll just become passive, everybody just walk over me, everybody then just does all these wrong things and I have no say left.' No, you still have a say left, but don't get angry. You have a say left. I'm not saying become voiceless. Things can be communicated in kindness and compassion. I know justification will be that only after all those things are exhausted do we go to anger. So that part of our life, unless God is truly guiding you from your heart—and actually, if any of you said that, I'm not buying it—but really, leave, cut off that part from your life. It's like we don't have that instrument. That's the attempt here. I'm not speaking from a position of having transcended it fully, just saying the attempt here is it's not a mode that I have. It's not a Siddhi that I was given, how to get angry. We should live like that. It will be really fun if somebody says something in today's Satsang and I get really angry. Hypocrite! Of course, that's what families are made for.

Yeah, but I saw that, you know, after I made the intention that I'm not going to be angry, and then he gave me all those stories of passive, whatever happened. I said no, because I made that intention and stopped even mid-sentence. And I said, 'Okay, I'm going away somewhere.' And then I saw something change and I came to my heart, and I could reply to whatever needed to be said from a completely different space. I was not passive, but it was not 'I am right' or angry. And I felt that even if that one didn't agree with me fully, like accept it, but it did something. At least it did something for me to not go there. But I could see that it did something, but they were still in that stage. And I don't know, it was quite a new experience that, no, it's not being passive, but it's being guided from a different place completely to do what needs to be done. And then that gave me so much confidence to let go of that, and that it's happening so often or whatever. But at least I know that I don't write that story anymore that 'you're passive and I'm right and nobody...' You can't. That's all lies. I saw that. The image that's coming to me is that maybe the simplest is just to keep dipping ourselves in the cooling waters of the Ganga, which is God's presence in our heart, and then these things will play out less and less.

Stay with me. She made me see how I get... she provided all the...

Yeah, no, she was the checker guy in my life. 'Look how angry you are, look how angry you are.' But for the reason also, was heard on... no, never. There is no other. The police is getting born. Just once I asked her 'Who am I?' after years, and see, the police already met me.

Of course, it's that's very—that's mature. Because mostly if you're reminded of anger, we get...

Is it? That part where Lord Jesus Christ says, 'What you do to your neighbor, you do to me.' And that, it's very strong. If I had to take the last six months, for example, I think I have hurt him a lot if I look at that. No, like in my relationships, day-to-day relationships, there's so much. If I literally look at that statement and say, 'What you do to your neighbor is what you do to me,' it's very stark. And it's like, I would never do that to him. So then why would I want to do that to my neighbor?

But if I can speak a little bit—I have no authority to speak on his behalf—but I feel like he would also tell you that every time you notice it and you endeavor to make a change, you take away some of his pain. Every time we forgive, every time we are kind, it's not just a one-way street. Your tears are compensation enough for that, as long as you act on it from now. You know, our families always told us when we started in spirituality—at least most of our families would have always told us—'What is the point of your Satsang? You still get angry, you still have all this.' And I didn't realize that they were right. They were right. They were not wrong. I'm realizing now after so many years of being in spirituality.

Water, water. Stretching everything. Go by seven.

Notice that there's a certain sort of thing that happens when we sit together in God. And that day when I took the break, I feel like something breaks in that. So I'd rather have a shorter Satsang and all of you remain in that, rather than breaking the... Do you notice it, what I'm saying? Just like something gets activated, like a fire of Satsang collectively burning, then I feel like something in the middle just puts water on it. So whether we approach it in the way of removing our false notions, getting rid of our egotistical nature, or more deeply loving God, in either case, there is no room for all of this grasping, duality, separation, anger, lust. And the same way we work on anger, we work on all the other aspects as well. Open Up's box now. It is looking very slowly, slowly. Don't... One simple thing that helps me sometimes is just like: what is the inner environment I want to keep for God? If God was visiting, he'd made a booking to visit my house, would I not clean up his room? I would. So what is that inner... how fragrant do I want my insides to be for his presence? He has gifted us with his presence anyway; that's his mercy, his kindness. But what is the inner environment? If you went to a friend's house or some relative's house in a different city and you're visiting there, and you walked in and you just sensed that there's too much strife, there's too much anger in this house, there's too much inviting too many, you know, whatever other things which are possible in Maya which can contaminate a space, then you would not feel welcome. Then you would not find yourself comfortable in certain environments. They give you a room, you close the door, you know, but you can hear fighting from the outside. So why would you want to give such a place to God within ourselves? So it's a question of faith. The more we feel he is here, he's truly here, the easier all of this becomes. The audience of one becomes the most important then for us.

Exactly. And he has been so merciful. He said, 'Whichever way you want to relate with me, I'm here for you.' Some call him Father, some call him brother, some call him mother, some call him child, some call him beloved. But he's never turned anyone down or away because of the notion, the simplistic tiny notions that we can apply. She has never turned anyone away, he has never turned anyone away.

So one thing I've been noticing a lot is you talked about this inner environment and what is it that makes our inner environment not suitable for God. And this trigger that has killed me over and over again, this Vasana that keeps on coming, it's an intense fear, if I was to label it. And the message that comes with it is, 'If you don't take responsibility, those you love are going to experience excruciating suffering.' And myself, I'll experience it, but that's not even it—it's 'those I love are going to experience excruciating suffering.' That just pulls me into the thinking mode, the worrying mode, and it just creates this seeming separation.

Yeah. Everything that makes you more worried and anxious in the mind, just throw it away. There's enough pointers, so use the ones that bring you peace, bring you to your heart, bring you holiness, quietude. The worries play out in a very... the problem that the mind presents is seemingly very practical. You know, like for instance, I'll give a very concrete example. The other day I got an apartment in Tiruvannamalai, and this electrician came to install the geyser. And right before leaving, he said, 'Shower no good. Danger. Only bath. You get electric if you put on the shower. It could be dangerous. So have only the bucket bath.' I think there was a translation issue, but then I started doing research, and online if you want to find problems, they are abundant. And it sounds so much like Tiruvannamalai, right? After the full moon, too. The full moon's happening, I'm on the mountain, and I hear this the day before. So I'm in this state of just full surrender, and this thought comes, a gun to the head: 'You or your loved ones... Christina's here, she's going to get electrocuted,' and you know, who knows what the mind could present. So it's seemingly practical, but also the worry that comes, it's not practical steps. It's just chaos and anything to pull me away from... Of course, it'll pull every trick in the book. Everything. Everything to transcend the mind is the most difficult project we can ever take. So don't expect it to be easy. That makes it easier. If you expect it to be easy, then we make it difficult. Okay, let's look at it practically. Okay, we're talking about achieving—let's, I'm using very... because we're making it practical—we're talking about achieving the presence of God and living in that presence for the rest of our life. Now, if you compare it to worldly things: if you want to achieve a monetary goal, like you want to become a millionaire, billionaire, whatever, or you want to get the most beautiful, best-looking partner in the world, or you want to have a body which you could use for, you know, these bodybuilding competitions and win Mr. Universe or something like that—so how much effort or difficulty do you feel like you have to go through for any of those things? Worldly things first. Lifetime project, isn't it? To build that kind of muscle, or to get yourself to a place that the most beautiful partner in the world will be attracted to you, or even to become very, very advanced in a particular field of study, engineering or medicine or any field of study you say. But that'll take a lifetime, you see. But when it comes to being with God, which is the highest, then we want it to be just easy. 'I would have come to Satsang, why isn't it happening?' So the ease of just being with him, being in him...

To build that kind of muscle or to, you know, get yourself to a place that the most beautiful partner in the world will be attracted to you, or even to become very, very advanced in a particular field of study—engineering or medicine or any field of study—you say, 'But that'll take a lifetime,' you see. But when it comes to being with God, which is the highest, then we want it to be just easy. We have come to Satsang; why isn't it happening? So, the ease of just being with Him, being in Him, Him being as Him—that ease usually comes after facing a lot of difficulty.

I have not read any... just some few... and can I present the worldly goal as it's being revealed? I see this habit, and this is where identity and all the problems come. It's almost like having experienced—though God is an experience—but knowing that state of invulnerability, of fulfillment. As the mind came in and claimed at some point, somehow... this is where the mind plays the role and the ego plays subtly. It's like, 'I'm not really aspiring for worldly things; however, I'm aspiring for a state of what my mind is claiming to be a divine mind-state.' So, when the sense of vulnerability or fear comes, it's a subtle movement. Problems are created in order to alleviate that sense of vulnerability and replace it with another feeling, which is invulnerability. But it's taking something so beautiful and turning it into a process.

Yes. So, the simplest thing you can do is just start as a beginner this moment. Nothing has happened to you; forget about it. If you don't start as a beginner, then it's very difficult. All of us have to start as beginners and try to just remain a beginner as much as possible. That's... it is still so exciting to me when I come across a great book by a sage. So exciting! I feel like this is oxygen, because I don't feel like, 'Oh, this happened to me and that happened to me.' Those things just become things where the mind builds us up so it can just attack us. If you're always in innocent beginner mode, nothing has happened to you. No experience, nothing in the past is important. What you've seen also in the past is not important. If it is not here now, it's nothing. So, return, return to being an infant whenever you remember. Think of everything that has happened in the past as a dream. It was a dream; it's over now. I'm here now. Otherwise, we'll hold on to awakening experiences, so-called enlightenment—all these kind of things which will make us proud but will become the very fodder for us to be attacked by the mind.

Yeah. And maybe if I could ask, after sharing all that, a question. I also frame it into one question: when this fear or desire creates a practical situation, but the root of it is seen to be like... what do you mean by 'creates something'? It just tempts, like, 'I don't want this,' whatever that is, without labeling it. And as soon as it's believed that 'I don't want this'—but when did you not want it, huh? When did you not want it? Okay, let's say you were just born. You're a beginner in this world. You were just born.

I was just born. But at some point, I fell for temptation.

So, at that point, it's gone. It's a dream; it got over. Okay, let me stumble through the question. Okay, that means I want to still say what I want to say. No, I think there's a question in this. So, unpleasantness comes and there's the ability to watch it in purity, in a neutral place.

Unpleasantness you mean as what? Sensation?

Sensation is you, but how unpleasant is a sensation without a narrative? Something comes, like there's pain in the shoulder. So, that's the... but what does it actually mean without the story?

Not much. So, the problem that you, as the problem created, is the narration. The seeming practical problem would be that narration.

So, that narration is proposing a problem. Yes, a proposed problem comes.

The proposed problem comes, but there's the knowing from within that it's coming from fear, it's coming from... it's not really a practical... so it proposes it, and then what?

We know it is proposing because attention is difficult to manage.

So fine, but even with the attention, does the proposal seem like a reality?

Not until it's believed. Not until I take myself to relate to that. But the question here would be, however practical that proposed situation may be, to not fall for it. And however strong that seeming responsibility is, but if it's known to come from that stench of ego, to just lay it down at God's feet and stay in Him.

Okay, something is coming for me to say to you. See if you can take it to heart as much as possible. It will become very difficult if you take the base constructs to be true to let go of the constructs that the mind is offering you. Of course, I... but even these ones about, 'This is what it is, this is how this creates this, and this is what happens.' Just let's start fresh. Empty now. What can happen? A thought can come, a sensation can be there. The geyser is electrocuting the family in the shower; they didn't know. And electrocution—my responsibility to tell. This is coming, yeah?

So, this thought is coming, you see. Now, what can the thought do to force you to believe it? You're an infant; you're just born. You're looking around at this world empty.

It makes something. It makes you the 'I' who I take myself to be.

No, you don't, because you are empty right now. Just empty of any other construct. Just together, both of us do. Okay, yeah. Empty. The thought is coming: 'Geyser is on' or whatever.

Yes. It doesn't pull me inside.

It can't. But can it pull you in seemingly?

Well, it can seem attractive. Okay, let's admit to that. Some are more attractive. But also when belief is given to it...

But I'm saying pre-belief, pre-biting the apple. You have no past, you have no history. Now a thought is coming. What will it do? It's a mere thought, just a bundle of...

Family. I have no...

You have no relationships. Relationships... I'll talk to Christina. And while in this place, it's just...

Yeah, to God. Exactly. Now, as you left the space open for God, do you feel like the non-existent Majid could take better care of Christina than God, who is now apparent and living in your inner space?

No. But if you don't... no, but that with the presumption then, if you leave it to God, then God will not do anything about it. You feel that?

I will do. But God, who is running this entire universe, doesn't care about Christina? That's not true. He's the most love. And from that, I could say if practical steps need to be taken in this empty space, action will move and things will be taken care of without the need to... maybe we just get rid of the word 'practical,' okay? And we just say 'life.' Why do we have to categorize? I don't need to. I don't need to take shape. If I fully surrender to God without taking shape, it is all well.

Yes, it will be taken care of. Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you. Be careful of the categorization of spiritual and practical, real world and spirituality. It's another trick of the mind. God is taking care of all of this. Is it practical or spiritual? Your breathing, your heart is beating—is it practical or spiritual? He takes care of everything. Just this morning we were talking about it. I played a bhajan last time; the words of Kabir Ji were so beautiful. He said just trust Ram with everything. Trust God with everything. Like He makes tiny pieces of food available to every ant and He makes huge bunches of food available to elephants, He will also take care of everything that you need. And what did that remind us of? Jesus said, 'Don't be anxious.' A bird is not anxious about where the next meal is going to come from—of course, paraphrasing. And Guru Nanak Ji said a fish is not anxious; God feeds the fish every day. The one who's taking care of the tiniest ant to the biggest elephant, why would such a beautiful one not take care of us and our loved ones? So, this fallacy that 'I have to do this'—the 'I' doesn't even exist to do anything. It's like the fictional character here has to do so much to take care of all the fictional attachments it has.

Would that not lead to people not working at all?

People not working at all? Very nice. They'll become like me! Whenever we speak of surrendering to God's will, we feel that two objections can come up. One is that, what if it leads to a passivity that we just sit in bed all day? And the second is that, that means anybody can just do anything and say it was God's will, you see. It is not that. What is being said is that we follow our Dharma as the Dharma is revealed to us when we stay in God's presence, you see. So, to remain empty of the 'me' is to give the space to the Atma within to run our life, to guide us. Then you start... when you give it a chance, then you can start hearing the Antar Atma. Otherwise, we've blocked it out because we think we already know what to do. So, this is like we were talking earlier: if Krishna had said to Arjun, 'Go and fight,' that was the right Dharma. If Krishna had said to Arjun, 'You keep your bow and arrow and you go to the jungle and become a sadhu,' then that was the right Dharma. Why? Because that is what God said. But we have lost that. We live in a presumed idea of God's will because we've lost touch with His presence. The Atma is here for us, but most of us don't recognize the Atma is here. The Holy Spirit is here. And that is why we lead the 'me' life where we have to presume everything instead of just following His will like little children, like innocent ones. Does it seem too far-fetched? It takes some time. It takes some time. Okay, I'll catch up with all of you next time. Remind me to pay more attention to the online hands next time.