The More Innocent We Are, the Simpler This Is - 10th May 2024

So when they're praying to God, they say, 'Even Saraswati, oh Lord, even Saraswati, who is the goddess of knowledge itself, and all the sages cannot fathom your true nature.' Cannot fathom your true nature. That is the nature of reality, the reality which is Nirguna Brahman, because it is unfathomable even to the highest intellect. The highest knowledge cannot meet that, you see. So therefore, we must seek refuge in our intuitive insight, in our heart knowledge, you see, where that which is beyond all concepts, all understanding, can be met.

The good thing about this is that in this heart, in this presence of God, in the Atma within, we can spend our whole life. We don't have to go there just for self-knowledge, in the sense that everything is contained in self-knowledge, but we are not just going to God's presence so that we can find Nirguna Brahman or recognize ourselves as that pure awareness, but just for the love of God. Why must we remain in God's presence? For the love of God. And in that love of God, our thirst for the knowledge will be quenched. You will recognize the highest.

And it can be, some of you may feel, 'But I don't feel this love of God, love for God.' So your thirst for knowledge will lead to that love of God, love for God. It works either way. So if you're thirsting for knowledge, or wanting to meet true love, unconditional love, you must rely only on God's presence within ourselves, because only there can we meet these. In our highest understanding, we can never meet these. So this is the simplest and yet the most difficult. It's simple, no? I'm just saying stay with God's presence. What is the difficulty? Stay with your Atma within, which is the highest teacher. It shows you that which is beyond all fathom, beyond all understanding, and it is the most loving. It is the source of all love and light.

So stay with the Atma within. Simple. The simpler you are, the simpler this is. The simpler you are, the simpler this is. The more innocent we are, the simpler this is. Like Jesus calling the children and saying you have to become like them to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, you see. What did he mean? Did he mean that we have to... what is that movie, a Brad Pitt movie where he ages backwards? Benjamin Button. So we are not... he's not saying we must become like Benjamin Button, at least not outwardly. We need to... what did she say? Okay, that is a classic. So he's not talking about... he's not talking about physically aging. He's saying that we must become innocent. Innocent like a child, relying completely on their mother, you see, for everything. So we have to become reliant completely on the Atma within, on the Holy Spirit within ourselves, you see, and allow him to move everything, allow him to guide us on everything. Is it so simple? Simple, no? Even in the first instance, it's straightforward.

So then what makes it difficult? And then some may say, 'But how do I do that? I don't know, tell me.' So I can tell them, 'Okay, just remain open and empty. Allow all your thoughts, ideas, judgments, all these things to come and go, and you will naturally remain in God's presence.' That is one. The second is, I may say, 'You just pray, keep praying.' Some of you now have picked your mantras. You know what to chant, what to pray. So remain with God's name, and as you remain with God's name, his presence will become more and more clear, will become more and more apparent, you see. So remain like that, you see.

But most of us are struggling with this. How do I know we are struggling? Because almost on a daily basis, I get reports which are not about God, you see. And then how do we manage to replace God in our life? By either not remaining open and empty in this way, or leaving our prayer, you see. You cannot truly bring your focus to God and then worry about yourselves, can you? This you must try. You must try to see that if your focus is on God... what is prayer, you see? What is open and empty? Either way, our focus remains on reality. Our focus remains on God. Now keep your focus on that and then worry about yourself, you see. So because I notice the worry about yourself, I also then can conclude that we are not remaining either fully open and empty or we are not praying all the time. So because what makes it difficult? That is where the question comes from. What makes it difficult? What is the root reason why this seems difficult?

It's very exotic looking. Drink juice. She has no idea she made that, I didn't make it. Um, I just wanted to share, Father, I think the core essence, the teaching is... and in fact, I read this very beautiful thing, so it's summarized in four words. So, Deham, Naham, Koham, Soham. Or even you can go Shivoham. So the first step is getting rid of the sense that 'I am the body.' That's the root of all. So once we get stuck in that 'I am the body' and 'I'm the seeker seeking God,' you know, I mean we may be very sincere, but again we're in a situation of duality and then the thoughts keep coming because since you're in duality, you may be anchored with God, but when the prayer stops, something else will come. You'll go back into personhood. You're not dissolving, you're not merging. So I mean, I just wanted to share, I think that's the... if I have to put the one root cause, it would be 'I am the body.'

I am the body. So I'm not this body, then what am I? I am that. This is forgotten, is it? This is forgotten. We take ourselves to be the body-mind because actually, if you took yourself... the body becomes the locus of our identification, you see. But we are not actually that involved, most of us are not that involved in the concern about the body. We are concerned about the body's manager, because we think we are the body's manager. If you look at it, you see, because in your last five problems, how many of them were body-related? It is the one who takes itself to be the owner of this body of flesh and blood, of this instrument, you see, which has problems in relationships. Number one favorite topic: relationships. Problems in relationships. The body doesn't have a bank account, although the identifier for the bank account may be the name of the body, you see. But does the body care about the bank account? Which part of the body cares how much money is there in the bank? Body doesn't care. Body is not concerned with even its own health. Body is not saying 'body is unhealthy,' although the mirror may be saying it. Body is not concerned, and body is definitely not concerned with finding freedom, finding mukti, finding God, finding reality, finding any sort of meaning. The body is not concerned. But without this center of identification, then the mind would not have something to point at. So it needs that pointer pointing to this data saying that 'this is what you are.' So you are not this body, you are that. It is God himself.

So what is the difficulty in living in your own being, I-amness, in God's presence? What makes it difficult? What's your practical experience? Habit? Yes, habit. So it's just that I'm so used to following. But what is the habit about? What is the addiction to? So did you try today to remain in God's presence all day? And you did? It's not an interrogation. Yes, I know it sounded like that. So when the 'no, I didn't' and 'no, I didn't also fully' happens, why does the 'no' happen? First distraction, and then it depends sometimes.

So you decided... okay, I'm just going to play this out for everyone, okay? We decided in the morning, we said morning time is very important, so don't start the day without coming to God's presence. So I'm presuming all of you are good students and we actually did that in the morning today. We came to God's presence and then, of course, the intention was never to leave it all day, was not to leave it. So we start like that. Am I presuming too much? Some of you looking a bit... okay, let me keep going with that presumption. So you came to God's presence in the morning. If it was unclear in the first place, if it was a good day, then you could have started the day itself. You woke up and you feel like, 'Ah, the comfort light of his presence is in my heart.' And remember, it's an unperceivable light that I'm talking about, but we've spoken about that often. So this light is shining bright in my heart. What a blessed morning. You start like that. The Atma Darshan is available right in the beginning.

But suppose your day didn't start like that, you see. You started your day and it was all about some work or some money problem, some relationship fight, some something. So you're feeling... when you are in that mode, is it possible to get a sense of this Atma within? You see, by definition we are feeling disconnected, although the Atma has not gone anywhere, but its presence seems distinct. It seems notional, just like a concept. It is not really an experience, you see. So we may be very conceptually Advaita about it and say, 'But God is always here, God is only doing everything,' but actually we are speaking from a position of being a person, a body-mind. Yes? Everyone try and follow a bit because the simplicity of this is all that we need. So we may wake up with the sense of what we've been calling a disconnection. It may feel like 'I'm this lump of flesh' and it seems there's no light of presence within my heart. It doesn't feel so. Then what do you do? Both can happen, or no? Do you mean both? The first one is when you wake up and you...

Everything, but actually we are speaking from opposition of being a person, a body-mind. Yes, can everyone try and follow a bit? Because the simplicity of this is all that we need. So, we may wake up in us with the sense of what we've been calling a disconnection. It may feel like 'I'm this lump of flesh' and it seems there's no light of presence within my heart. It doesn't feel so. Then what do you do?

Both can happen, or no? Do you mean both? The first one is when you wake up and you just feel like so natural. Usually in the morning is one, right? Usually in the morning is when there is the most noise. Most noise, yeah, usually.

Yeah, but then exactly, that's why we have to start first thing in the morning, because it can hijack your whole day. And this battle is really for time. So we can't say, 'Oh, right now I'm busy, but God can wait. I will go to him later when I have more time,' because this time is what mind is snatching from you. It snatches away your whole life like this, you see. So nobody should be under any delusion that 'I have so much time. It's okay, today I will spend in resentment, today I'll spend in pride, or today I will spend in money, or today I will spend in taking care of the body. God can wait till tomorrow.' Because that tomorrow will be too late. Today isn't, but tomorrow will be. So we have to go with faith on that, that we will remain in His love, light, and mercy if we start today.

So then, if you have a sense of disconnection, then you start your sadhana, your inquiry, the sitting exercise, the invitation, the EDS, whatever you're doing to bring yourself into that empty space of having no mind, no conceptual mind, so that you make the room for Atma's presence to become apparent. You start like that. And your effort, your trying, is all that we can do from our side. Whether His presence is palpable or not is all His grace, you see. But full effort and full grace. We must not make it an excuse for laziness and say, 'But if He has to come, He'll come. Why should I do my EDS today? It's all His grace anyway. Doesn't He know? He knows I'm busy.' Don't fall for these tricks. Of course He knows everything, but we have to surrender ourselves completely. No excuses.

So like that, and then by His grace, then you may come to His light. It may become apparent. Your self-realization may be apparent, that 'I'm not this body-mind, I am the Self. I'm the pure awareness itself.' And that pure awareness itself is aware even of presence, even of being. So you come to this holy place in the morning, and then once you come there, you don't want to leave. Is there anyone who comes to God's presence and says, 'No, this is no... where's the fun in this? Let me go'? Maybe the mind says like that, but is the mind seeming powerful then? Maybe, maybe, but usually not. Sometimes, of course, it does happen that you spend a good morning in God's presence and then the mind has you and says, 'Okay, now you did well, let's not celebrate too soon.' That kind of stuff that may happen. We don't fall for these tricks. I feel most of you would have gone beyond these simple tricks, the primitive tricks.

So like that, then we determine that a whole day like this, a whole day like this. And that intention is very important because in that intention you're saying that 'I will not focus this day on myself. My focus will be God. I will not take this day away from God. I will belong to God today fully.' Do you want to belong to the 'me' or to God? So that intention that 'I belong to You, God. My life is Yours, my heart is Yours, everything that I am is Yours,' that is very important.

Then what happens? Then we stay like that for some time. Then the mind throws us something. Usually it starts, maybe it may seem like a harmless thought: 'That brother, that sister, what did she tell me yesterday?' You may even laugh at it first, yeah, but then it builds. 'He always does like that.' Then that's the second torpedo. It lands. 'Yeah, this is actually true.' Then we get into the chakravyuh, the maze of the mind. I say like that, then like this, then like that, then like this, and pretty soon you are just like, 'This is my reality.' And all that intention to stay with God and God's presence seems to become secondary. You feel like you have to deal with your true present reality, which is nothing but a nonsensical narrative.

Because we've done this millions of times in satsang itself. We've seen that the mind cannot determine the nature of one moment also. Like, what is this right now? Can we determine the nature of one moment of our life? And I hope all of you have noticed the primitive nature of our narratives, which will make this moment so full of light and presence and such a beautiful thing which will not come back again in our life—how we make that into... oh, this is just one label is enough to insert in our narrative. So it's like, 'Yeah, I know what this is. This is satsang. Satsang with Ananta.' But can that story replace the taste of this moment? The taste of both that which is perceivable and the Nirguna taste of yourself which is naturally apparent? Cannot.

So when we replace God's presence for this nonsensical garbage-like narrative, see, that is a huge, huge call that we are taking. We don't realize it because we are so habituated, so conditioned to take this call. But it's a huge moment where we've left the surrender, our childlike innocence of being surrendered in God's presence, and we've replaced it with the post-fall Adam who has now eaten the apple of knowledge and now he knows stuff. What is good, what is bad, what is right, what is wrong. 'I don't need to rely on God anymore because I know.' So we start, we make a determination for ourselves instead of remaining in that childlike innocence to follow His light, to follow how now He is moving us within.

And that moment comes in our life moment after moment. The apple comes, the biting comes, or the letting go comes moment after moment, you see. And that is a huge moment. You must not underestimate what we do in that moment. What we do in that moment is say that 'I will pick myself over God. I will pick my way over God's way. I will pick my version of what is over God's version of what is. I will not remain trusting of how He is moving. I will take the reins of this horse in my own hand.' So we want to get a control over life by grabbing its reins. And how does that work out for us? It may give us a provisional sense of victory like, 'Yes, you see.' When we feel right, it feels good, no? For a few moments like, 'This is how it is. I am right about this. I was wrong about this.' You see, even in the wrongness, there's a rightness.

So what has happened? We have lost the innocence, haven't you? Can you look at such a one and say that one is innocent like a child? No. When they are judging, when they are determining for themselves, they are no longer an infant of God. So we've lost that innocence where we need to be in that one moment of going with the mind's determination. But does that mean that all is lost then? No. Because God in His grace, every moment you have a fresh chance. So nobody should ever say, 'I don't know if God loves me,' because every moment He gives us a fresh chance. All that is gone. The false takes reinforcement; the truth is naturally present. Is that not love?

So every moment He's saying, 'Oh my daughter, my son, you must have made this mistake. I'm giving you another opportunity. Choose again.' And in that moment, then again the mind comes and offers you some judgment, some knowledge, some being right, which takes you away from what is actually good, what is actually right, what is actually knowledge. This is like a mask. It can seem like it has substance, but actually it is a means of hiding. You hide the reality behind the mask, although it may seem substantive. So when we pick up the mask of persona and we pick up the mask of identification, true knowledge, true goodness, true love gets hidden in that.

So why is it difficult? It is difficult because somewhere we still want... it is difficult because somewhere we are scared of what God will do with our life. That one which is running this entire universe and trillions of universes, like, we are scared of what He will do with our life. He's beating our heart right now, He's doing everything, but we are scared of handing over to that intelligence because it feels like a risk. It feels like a risk because you don't know. It is risky to... in the mind's perspective, it is risky to not know. What if... I'm going to give you an example of the fear. What if God was to speak to us right now and to say to us, 'Now your job is to walk throughout the country and spread God's light'? What happens to my lease agreement? What happens to my job? What happens to my family? What happens to all of this? It can seem scary.

So we say, 'No, no, no, that is too scary. I will do this.' But in that, what is the mistake we are making? The mistake we are making is that we are reducing the highest intelligence to like a human intelligence, and we are just presuming that He doesn't know my compulsions. He will just say, 'You walk the country.' He doesn't know my children won't survive without me? He doesn't know? But He knows much more than we ever can see. So the deepening of that faith, that He knows better than I ever can, allows us to deepen in our surrender. And that is this lack of trust in God's ways makes it difficult for us. Because all of you have also tasted by now that if you remain empty and in His lap, there's no such thing ever called a problem.

So isn't it strange that all of us have access to the security of God's presence? Nothing can ever scare us if we are with Him. But we ourselves choose to leave. Because it is not possible for us to remain in faith in God, in love in God, in His presence, and be troubled by anything. It is just not possible. You cannot be in heaven and hell at the same time. Cannot be. But we make our life into a combination of heaven and hell, sometimes by being with God and sometimes by going our own way. So the answer is very, very simple: just stay with God. If you stay with God, nothing can ever shake you, trouble you. No perception never has that power for you to become identified. Identification is hell for yourself and for everyone. If you just stay with God, nothing to solve, nothing to fix, no trouble.

So we are scared of the seeming risk, and we are too proud to not become somebody, to become something. That is the second aspect, which is that our pride gets in our way. 'If I just remain innocent like an innocent baby in God's lap in my heart, then the world will think I'm stupid, I'm nobody, good for nothing, a loser, the worst being, a burden on humanity.' All this nonsense will come. So because we want to become somebody, even become somebody spiritually, like spiritually seen, spiritually recognized, then ironically that itself stops us from remaining with God. 'If I just stay with God naturally, then I won't end up becoming some mahaguru. Why will people come to me?'

So for many of us in spirituality, we are scared to even lose this outcome, which is the most ironical thing ever. If I leave it to God and if I just become a humble beggar on the street, or even a humble householder in the house—the beggar is not an outward prerequisite—if I just become even a humble householder, then how will I, you know, spread His light? We make the excuses about Him, what is actually about us. And built on this pride, then we fall for everything else. Then humility becomes just a word, just lip service. On a TV show the other day, I saw one politician man, and this politician man, there's another youngster who's talking to him—this is all a fictional TV show. So the youngster is saying, 'You don't do anything positive for anyone, but you do create a lot of trouble wherever you go. Why is that? And you're so old. I mean, what will you get out of this?' So this man says, 'Yes, it's true. In fact, somebody saw my astrological chart when I was born and said this child will never do any good for anyone, but he will destruct a lot of things. And you know why I do it? Because...'

There's another youngster who's talking to him—this is all a fictional TV show—so the youngster is saying, 'You don't do anything positive for anyone, you see, but you do create a lot of trouble wherever you go. Why is that? And you're so old. I mean, what will you get out of this?' So this man says, 'Yes, it's true. In fact, somebody saw my astrological chart when I was born and said this child will never do any good for anyone, but he will destruct a lot of things. And you know why I do it? Because...' which means, 'I cannot stand an insult. I cannot bear an insult.' And don't we notice this in our lives? I notice it. If the person at immigration is not nice to me, you know, isn't it? If the Visa officer—I don't know why I'm thinking of all the travel things—the Visa officer is a bit rude, what happens? It is that pride. And we feel that some pride is justified. Some pride is justified, but it's not. If you remain in God's presence and someone insults you, what's it to you? You're one with God. In God's presence, you are one with God, so let that one take on the burden of insulting God. What's it to you?

So we get into these kind of traps where our righteousness takes us away from God's presence. And what is so great about us? I've been looking for this man's... what is so great? I don't find anything at all. I find everything good that happens is only when God moves, and everything stupid that happens is only when I get in the way. So what is so good about this man? I haven't found one thing. Is he... what is so great about us? Why are we entitled? So this entitlement blocks our humility. But remember that nobody should ever think that they have something to give the world or offer the world. At best, we can be an instrument of God and God can use us, but God is not dependent on us.

Just like the beautiful story of Krishna lifting the mountain. He's lifted it already, then he calls the rest of the villagers and says, 'Come, come, I need your help. Come with sticks and help me hold up this mountain.' So all of us are like those villagers. At best, most of us are blocking Krishna, but at best what we can do is pretend to be helping. So the villagers with the innocence of a child, of children, came and did their job. That is what is needed. But what will we do? Most of us are city people. We will say, 'That's already up. I have email to send. I can't come and be with you right now, you see. I have this work to do.' So even that childlike innocence of saying, 'God is calling, let me run.' If we just had that inner attitude, our life would be fine. If God calls me, I'm here for him. Everything... I can drop everything just for him, see?

So these are very, very simple things. And if you become simple like that, then to remain in his presence, to remain in the discipleship of the Atma within, is easier for us. But if we're too complicated in our head, we've understood too much spirituality also, then we get trapped in the wrong things. So return to innocence. And there's not so much need to have too much spiritual conversation—ironic coming from this man who rambles on for three hours twice a week—but really there's not so much because fundamentally what is it? Are you empty for God or are you not? That's it. All the rest, as a deep intuitive understanding, is gifted to us in our heart. And if we're sharing that, then let us remain in our heart and share that.

One child who's not here, she's traveling, but she's one of the ones who came to me like twelve years back when I just started sharing. And she says to me that, 'You know, Father, when we used to go back, we used to just then say, "Oh, but you are coming from this place of ego, I'm coming from the place of Self, and you this..."' No, it is children. We are all children. The teacher was also a child. So like that, you can get caught up in these kind of spiritual traps of saying, 'I am coming from the right place, you are coming from the wrong place, this is this and this is that,' you see. So learn from the mistakes of the earlier ones. Learn from the mistakes of those who came before and don't get into these traps. You have one question for yourself: Am I with God or not?

It is not a sword to poke other people with. 'Are you with God?' I'm not saying you must ask everyone, okay? But having said that, if you notice that there's a brother or sister that you love, or you come across a brother or sister you feel is open to living a life of God, then you may share with them that, 'Brother, it feels like, you know, you seem to get stuck in this particular thing and it blocks your life.' But not as an attack, you see? Not as an attack, but pointing out in genuine concern. But only if you have the maturity yourself to not make it personal, you see? If you yourself are feeling it's about the sinner and not about the sin, then you're not ready to talk yet, not ready to share God's light yet. It must be about the block because that is constructive. But the instant you make it... you abstract it into the non-existent person, when you make it about somebody, then you're getting... you're falling for the same trap.

So this ability to share about each other as a Sangha without making it personal is very important. But what happens with us is that we are quick to say, 'This one is like this, this one is like this, this one is...' and we do the same thing in all relationships. No one is like anything; it is just the conditions that they're holding on to. Is there anyone who is not shining in the light of God? Everyone is alive. That aliveness is the light of God itself. So if someone is really deeply conditioned by pride, by ego, by all the wrong lust—you know, Kam, Krodh, Moh, Lobh—everything deeply conditioned, then what should be our attitude towards them? Has to be that of compassion, because someone who's living like that is living in their own private hell, you see, created by them. 'I am,' which it also tries to create for us. So someone, suppose someone is living in their own private hell and you go and attack them, how is that helping anything?

Doesn't matter. Sometimes I feel that when... just sharing with a sincere heart, okay? I'm just saying. So you said to pray for him because I was having difficulty in communicating with him or whatever, and I'm presuming that he is very far away from God—I'm just in my mind here, right? But when I started to pray for him, Father, I could only see my own faults. I couldn't see... everything that I had done became more apparent to me than his. It was so horrific that I felt like I was more a sinner than anybody else could have been. And I couldn't even say for sure that he wasn't... even if he was close to God or not. I couldn't even make that conclusion at all. And it was just some thing in my own mind. Having said that, so I was like really upset that this child wasn't calling me back or whatever, and I remembered what you said and I started really praying for him, and I actually got an SMS saying, 'I'm fine,' you know? I mean, so it has... it really did... I mean, it worked. But it showed me more of all the sin within myself than in anybody else.

A very, very good point you're making. So what may happen is that once we start living in the way of the heart, or even fancier, sometimes we can start, like we've been saying, to become a disciple of the Atma, huh? So just feel like, 'Yeah, I want to be a disciple of the Atma.' You know, somebody asked me, 'What do you do?' 'I'm a disciple of the Atma.' You know, sounds like they'll also be like, 'Wow, he's a disciple of the Atma.' Like that sounds very fancy. But once you start to really take on the discipleship of the Atma within, it is called the Holy Light for a reason, see? What does it shine its light on first? Our own blocks, you see? So that emerging of humility happens naturally in the light of the Atma within.

So if you're starting to see your own blocks, you're starting to see that who are you to judge anyone? You yourself are so caught up in selfishness. When we start to see this for ourselves, then that can be the tough initiation into the discipleship of the Atma. And tough sounding, actually, because you're surrounded actually with so much of love inside that you're not really feeling deprived in any way. But this is one of the symptoms of taking on the discipleship of the Holy Spirit, Atma within. Those who felt like they were just perfect start to realize that they block God's light so much moment to moment in their life. You start to see these very subtle-seeming things, you see? How you start to see? Because in the narrative, these things are not there. In the story, you are the hero, the central protagonist. When you break that story apart and then you start to see, and you're truthful with yourself, you start to see why you're not constantly living in God's presence.

You notice the kind of thoughts you get tempted by, and you notice your own propensity for believing those thoughts. And this propensity is what we are diseased with. This propensity to... the mind can just play like in the human condition. It has the remote control, expresses: 'Ah, lust,' 'Ah, greed,' 'Ah, money,' 'Ah, relationship,' 'Ah, this.' It presses these buttons and we're dancing to its tune. So till we don't see the symptoms of our disease, then we're living like my daughter when she was two and a half, three—I don't remember what age—but I told her that I was seeing these red footsteps in the house and I was like running behind her saying, 'Have you got hurt? Is that... is that blood on the floor?' She's like, 'No, it's not blood, it's tomato.' But it looks like blood. So she wanted to just deny her way out of it, you see? And we don't realize how appropriate that story is for our condition because we just want to deny our way out of it.

So when we come to satsang, we start truly looking, then we start to see that I still fall for so many tricks of the mind and to notice them. And this is such a beautiful story actually, because you started praying to help another—a son in this case, a biological son. You wanted to help your biological son, you wanted to pray for him, and here Spirit is showing you your own blocks. Beautiful. It's very, very touching to transform ourselves in this way, to recognize that actually the only trouble is with myself. Because the distance between you and your Atma is created by you yourself. That it is actually zero; there is no distance. But if it seems distant, who can create it? Can someone from the outside create a distance between you and your Atma? It is your Atma. Literally, Atma means you. It is literally you. The seeming distance... we like to say, 'You, you, you, you, you did... you are doing this to me,' you see? But the only difference between heaven and hell is you or Atma, seeming distance or no distance. So in the ways of the Atma within, we learn to see this block, what blocks us within ourselves. Isn't it beautiful?

It may sound scary actually, because to the ego it would rather just sit and blame everybody else. 'You are responsible for my condition.' You know, I mean, you know it's true. I mean, it's not as if it's... I mean, you can't... when you hear it in your heart, you can't deny the truth because it's just showing you. It's really, I think it's really a... it's a gift because there's something that can be changed. I mean, it's not something written in my...

We recognize what we need to work on, what we really need to pray for. So it's very beautiful because this brings these blind spots. Our own pride is always hidden. That's the thing about pride. Like Guruji used to say, we can't smell our own breath, but everyone around us can. So our pride is like that; we can't see it. So when we come to this unexplainable presence in our heart, see, we are already open because we are finding this which is just, in worldly terms, it's impossible that there's a holy presence, Holy Light in my heart. What can that... what can explain that? So we already must be open. So when we open like that, we start to see our own faults, our own disease, and then the true project begins: humility, humility, humility; faith, faith, faith; love, love, love. That heals us from within. Then every step of the way we are guided by His light that heals us from within and it transforms our life. Then you're not so concerned about the outer, outer.

In worldly terms, it's impossible that there's a holy presence, a holy light in my heart. What can explain that? So we already must be open. When we open like that, we start to see our own faults, our own disease, and then the true project begins. Humility, humility, humility. Faith, faith, faith. Love, love, love. That heals us from within. Then every step of the way, we are guided by His light that heals us from within and it transforms our life. Then you're not so concerned about the outer. The outer is no longer a problem. You may find it even joyful moment to moment, but it doesn't have the potential to scare you now because if you're holding Krishna's hand in your heart, you're holding Jesus's hand, you're holding Ram's hand in your heart, Ananta Ji's—whatever aspect, whatever expression of God you prefer—if you're holding that, then what in the world can scare you?

But when you leave that and you try to be Hogan for yourself—most of you won't know who's the strongest, really strong one—you try to be like that for yourself, then we are humbled, thankfully humbled very soon. And this brings us back to the beginning of satsang, that that Ravan who everyone was oppressed by is where? Is within all of us, you see. And when that—like we called it a habit, I've been saying disease also—when that disease spreads too much and it seems like this whole world is being oppressed in that disease of egotism, then it is said that God Himself comes in a human form, so full God and full human.

So that is where the prayer for today also comes from. There was so much oppression. There was one who took himself for a great Giani, a great sadhaka, then got caught up in so much pride, and he had all the Siddhis to control the entire universe. So then that pride got to him and he wanted to take up God's place, so he started to oppress anyone and everyone. Then everyone prayed to God and said, 'Help us from the oppression of this.' So you can see how the story is meant at so many different levels. It is true for ourselves moment to moment. So when you are praying to God for help from Ravan, we are also praying, mostly praying, for His help from the Ravan within ourselves, from the egotism, the disease of egotism within ourselves, you see.

That's why a prayer written by Tulsidas Ji many hundred years ago is still so relevant today, as most prayers are. But we must not be in denial of this, the presence of this Ravan within us. Neither must we make the mistake of over-emphasizing it, because one thing that that Ravan loves to do is to say, 'Oh, there's this Ravan within me, there's this pride, there's this pride, there's this pride.' You know, then we become proud of the pride, or proud of the humility about the pride. So that's why just notice and drop. Notice and drop. If you are wasting too much time just dwelling on it, dwelling on it—'Oh, I'm like this only, I'm like this only'—then you're missing the main part of satsang, which is that you notice it. If you don't, then you fall for the second punch of the mind.

A beautiful quote I came across on the weekend: it is said when you despair, the devil wins twice. And if you're not into that devil construct, think of it as Ravan. When you despair, Ravan wins twice. What does it mean? At first, it caught you, you see. First, it caught you and you became proud or did some stupidity, foolishness; you left God basically for that point of time. Then it catches you with the second punch, which is really the knockout punch, you see. The first was just a jab; the second is the main punch where we say, 'I'm guilty and I'm unworthy, this will not happen for me.' And still, we are leaving God in that despair. So then Ravan has won twice, isn't it?

So what is the way of a true sadhaka? It is notice and you drop. Return to God. Notice, 'Ah, I fell for this trick again.' Not again, never again. Return. See? Then again you fall for some pride, for some lack of faith, for some stupidity, and you notice it and you return. It's so beautiful that Hanuman Ji said if you've fallen, get up. And then yesterday I was reading Brother Lawrence said the same thing, that 'I used to fall often but I used to quickly get up.' What are the odds of these things happening, you see? It's like the Holy Spirit decides the theme and says, 'Learn this lesson,' you see. And it sends it to you from—if you're open—from all different places. Something like this, which you never read before, suddenly comes to you from everywhere. And I've taken so many examples like that in satsang, that it just happens.

He said don't sit and lament and despair and say, 'I have fallen.' You have all the tools to get up. Get up. Then there was another beautiful video where this old Christian father said—I posted it on the group also—saying you may sit and want to pray and be in God's presence, but you may get distracted a hundred times in that one hour. But every one of those hundred times you got distracted and you returned, so that is very good. But our mind tells us it's very bad. At least we sacrificed ourselves, made ourselves available to God for that period of time, and made the effort to come back every time we got tempted by the mind. Come back to the presence.

So he said, this father said very beautifully, that don't worry about what you're feeling about it. You just keep at it, just keep at it. Because if you get into this kind of despair saying, 'It doesn't happen, I'm doing so badly,' then that is not helping you stay with God. I'm not saying be in denial of it, but don't be in despair of it. So both the Ds you stay away from. You said that if you despair, then it's still about you. I mean, all the conclusions, it's still about you. It's not about God. Like, drop. You know, you noticed it, drop it.

The message is important, that this is how we can get trapped, you know. What is the subtler version of that? Let's talk spirituality, let's talk spirituality. Such a good thing to do. But mostly when we talk spirituality, we are talking me, me, me. So it is not spirituality; it is just a mask. If the taste is not of God, if the taste is how smart I am, how much I've understood, how much me, me, me, then we must cut out these conversations fully. See, I'm getting a sense somewhere that in the Sangha we are having a lot of these conversations. We were discussing spirituality, but we are not actually being spiritual. So silence is better than that. And by no means do I want like a robotic Sangha—'Oh, Ananta has said be silent.' I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that if we are spending time sharing about God, then make it really about God. Don't waste time on spiritual things that may sound strange to hear, unless they're truly about spirit and you're truly immersed in spirit.

Being with you for now so long and trying to be with presence, Father, still there is much level of irritation when it comes specifically—I will give an example. We are watching this Hanuman is everywhere now, last one weekend, soon Hanuman is everywhere in the movie, in the serial. I'm talking about the—not that far, oh, I haven't left the house, he's everywhere and I'm sitting at home. So if you see that, Father, everything is talking about Ram and it gets at the irritating level. It's getting irritating at one point of time. My son was sitting next to me and everything Ram is doing, and what you are doing, something like, 'Are you going to die?' 'I'm not in fear of death because it's in Ram's hand.' 'Are you going to eat?' 'It's in Ram's hand.' Everything is talking about Ram and I can see even it's getting inside me also slowly, slowly that irritation is coming. And before I say anything, my son started shouting, 'What about everything is about Ram? What are you going to do?' And then I can feel that if I am doing this around my kids and family, they will really, really get ired. 'What are you doing again and again?' I could see myself there and it's all going on. Hopefully, it will die down.

Yeah, children can be like that. And after a certain age, actually, the mind is like fully blocking in this way, except when they get in trouble. So my daughter had an exam today and last minute she realizes she's not really started for the exam. So then she says, 'I'm just now, I'm just leaving it to God.' So today she said He really came through for me. And isn't that literally like we are? Just like that, isn't it? It can seem very irritating till our throat is squeezed.

I think that's what we have been taught from childhood onward. Like, you try your best, you give your best, and then even then if you're not able to achieve it, you go to God. So that is very deeply ingrained.

That's a misunderstanding of full effort and full Grace. Yeah, just like a worldly misunderstanding of that, and a very, very severely misunderstood version of the Gita. That whole Karma Yoga part where that whole one verse everybody knows because it came in the Mahabharat title song—like everybody knows this because this is the best, best, and really they feel like the whole Gita is about this. But anybody who's truly read the Gita, now tell me what it's about? No, no, but if you really read the whole Gita, then you will be at a loss for words because anything really about God, really we cannot put in concept. Because in the Gita, Bhagavan has explained everything to us. The Vedas were too complicated, just like the Torah was too complicated, you see. So the Upanishads were too complicated, so He just explained everything to us and it has Bhakti, it has Gana, it has Karma, it has everything.

So anyone who can say, 'Oh, just this,' is underselling themselves and underselling the Gita. It is the crux of all the Upanishads, and most of them are unknown to us now, but even what is known to us is in hundreds. So the crux of that cannot be distilled into just that one verse, and that one verse itself is severely misunderstood. They say just don't worry about the fruit, just keep doing your action, keep doing it, you see. But that is just like what I'm saying: full effort and full Grace. Don't worry about the outcome; the outcome is fully in His hands, you see. But don't get into—so we shared about the cost of discipleship. I shared the story where a fresher in college can say, 'Oh, truth can't be known, so why should I bother?' versus someone who dedicated their whole life to finding the truth and then coming to the conclusion that, 'After surrendering my entire life for this quest for truth, I can say that the truth is beyond any finding; it cannot be found, it cannot be spoken about.'

Is there a difference in the two? Did that old man or woman waste their life? It's a very fruitful life. The youngster maybe feeling like, 'But that sounds like a waste if he's just going to come to that point where he's going to say the truth cannot be found, then why don't I just conclude that right away and just not bother?' So then that is what is happening in spirituality also. The cost of discipleship has been forgotten and Grace has become the cheapest commodity. Everyone says, 'All God's Grace, all God's Grace, whatever is His will.' We don't live like that. We don't surrender ourselves. We don't wait for His light to move us and guide us, but it's just become a lip-service spirituality where very conveniently we just say, 'All is God's Grace, all is Guru's Grace.' Now we say, what is the cost of discipleship? It is our entire life.

The same, yes, exactly, exactly.

No, but that is the very thing that people use and say, 'Oh, you see, you're going to become spiritual? You just started your job, you know, make sure you do it properly. There's time for God later. Even God has said in the Gita, see, do your action like that.' So that is a serious misunderstanding of what Krishna was saying. And again, I'm saying that I don't have the authority to be able to say what the Lord was telling us. We just have to start to dip in and get a sense because we can never really say—at least I can never really say—that this is the essence of the Gita. We can't even say what is the essence of a symphony. You can't say the essence of any text, actually. So the essence that we think it is becomes then just a confirmation bias.

So that is a serious misunderstanding of what Krishna was saying. And again, I'm saying that I don't have the authority to be able to say what the Lord was telling us. We just have to start to dip in and get a sense because we can never really say—at least I can never really say—that this is the sar of the Gita. We can't even say what is the essence of a symphony. You can't say the essence of any text, actually. The essence that we think it is becomes then just a confirmation bias; this is what I think it should be, so this is okay, I can make it that way.

See your gurus everywhere. See God in the breath, in your clothes, and the food. Just doing it, I can't, but you experience it like that, actually. Just if you truly just followed it, it was so... so what he was trying to say is that somebody who knows it to be true, and you follow what they are telling you to be true, then can make you experience it for yourself. And that's why the great sages all come to the same point. Like, Mira said this, Hanuman Ji said that. Then Brother Lawrence said after a point of remaining in God's presence, it only became about me and him; it is him everywhere. So that's a huge pointer that if we just remain with him inwardly, then we will remain with him outwardly. Everyone, everything will be seen as him. Correct. Don't call me here anymore; in my beloved doing, remembering the name of the Beloved so much, I myself became the Beloved.

Good. Suppose you woke up one day and you receive news that you have inherited through an unknown relative the entire Snickers factory. Snickers, you know, the chocolate bar Snickers? So once you've inherited the entire Snickers factory—Mars or something makes it, whatever—then after that, if you see this one and they're just holding on to a single peanut and obsessing about it, what would you call them? Is it? So those who recognize the potential to be with God, God who's ever-present and available for them, but they are more interested in the 'me' and the world, then we are foolish like that. You say, 'I want to solve my life's problems, be with God,' but you cannot say, 'I want to solve my life's problems only my way.' That is what gets us stuck.

But nobody can be with God and have a problem. To have a problem, you must leave God. Try to have a problem now, but stay with God. Possible like that? Actually trying, right? Stay with God's presence and have a problem. We just can't do it. Yes, can't do. So even as you are praying, even whatever form of sadhana that you're doing, if you're doing that and having a problem, then in that time you left God. That's why to all my children I've started asking: you have this problem, that means did you leave God for that time? And for those of you who have been in satsang, to have a problem and then go to God is already late. Before the problem, go to God. It doesn't mean you shouldn't go after you have it, but the way of the wise is why wait for problems? You be with God. It's called preventive medicine, preventive healthcare, rather than curative. Is it?

And what is 'be with God'? Is it some punishment being given that all of us have to be compelled to it? No, it is the most joyful, most loving, most beautiful, most secure, most pristine, most innocent place. Okay, there's a question that's been waiting for a long time. Let's go to Anam.

So I have been doing the prayer for some weeks now and every time I do it, I feel some sensations which I used to feel when I was in satsang there. And also attention is on prayer, so mind is not there and these type of things happen when I...

That's fine. That's perfectly fine. It's perfectly fine. You must keep at it, stay with it, and all this will unfold for you. All that is being shared in satsang will unfold for you as you just remain with your sadhana, remain in God's presence. So don't worry about any of the byproducts, just stay with the center of it.

Yes, I start the day with prayer. Very, very... and sometimes many things happen. Sometime I see an object and I feel like I'm looking at it for the first time.

Yes, all these things will happen. All these things will happen. See, but enjoy the byproducts of it, but don't attach to any of them. Yeah, attach to God's presence, that's all.

I don't pay attention to byproducts.

Very good. Yes, very. Thank you. So welcome, very welcome. Bless, bless. Good, good. What makes staying in God difficult is I want to value 'me' too. Whether I am in joy or suffering, I want to make it about me. Good to notice that. That's what makes it difficult. Just, 'But what about me? What's happening to me?'

Then, 'Father, is the Lakshman from the story with the pride on the horse and the many rings the same as Rama's brother?' Yes, same, same one. He is very sweet, actually. It is... got this like anger, pride comes sometimes, you see. But the best part about him is that he may waver, he may have his lapses—and I'm like, I'm feeling so foolish talking about somebody that great as Lakshman Ji—but at least what is the message in it for us is that he may waver, he may fall for pride, he may get angry, but ultimately he always listens to what Ram tells him to do, you see. So he's a beautiful, beautiful follower of God's will. So it's why human representation... all of us, we may fail, we may fall for temptation, we may fall for anger, the tricks of Maya, but if we keep returning to God's will, it's all right.

He is very sweet. I'm remembering that moment where Ram Ji and Lakshman Ji, they go to the greatest, one of the greatest devotees ever, Shabri's house. You know, I've shared the story earlier. So what Shabri had done in her devotion is that she had tasted all the berries and selected only the best tasting ones, you see. So then she's offering it to Ram Ji and like a mother. And Lakshman Ji is sitting there like, 'That doesn't seem right.' Like in India especially, we have this notion of jutha, you know, this like some germs will be carried or something like that. But you also have a tradition of passing one piece of cake along to all the fifty people in the room and having that. I remember somebody came from UK once and was like completely scandalized by that.

But anyway, Lakshman Ji was feeling that, 'What is happening here? The prince, the king actually, the one who would have been king of Ayodhya has come to this lady's house and she's feeding him with these half-eaten berries, half-eaten things. She's not treating him with the right respect.' Then Ram Ji explains to him that, you know, this is how the mother tastes everything before feeding a child. So he's feeling like he's back with Kaushalya then, he's meeting Shabri. So like Ram Ji is also Lakshman Ji's greatest Guru as the elder brother, just like Krishna was also Arjuna's greatest Guru besides being a friend and charioteer in the battle. He learns a lot from him throughout.

And also what happens is beautiful to have him in the show, any representation of Ramayan, because he is the one that we can relate to, you see, whether we like it or not. So when he's training the vanara, the army that is going to attack Ravana, then what's happening is he's saying, 'Put all your force, all your might in the arrow, but also all the anger that you have pent up in you and all your emotions. Use all of that and then fire the arrow.' Is it? Now, is that a bad approach? No, as a warrior that's what you're meant to do. That is the warrior's way. Everything that you have within you, just bring it to the battle, no? So he's like that.

But then Ram Ji comes and he saw all this, then he says that, 'Yes, put all your strength into the arrow, but keep your mind balanced.' Keep it balanced, which means how to be balanced? It has to be empty. If a positional mind is not balanced, it's already weighted by the position, it's already weighed down by the position. So balanced mind is basically an empty mind, a no-mind, you see. So Ram Ji said like that: put all your force, but don't take a mental position and allow it from there. So then they also showed like that, Lakshman noticing the difference in the teaching, and he paid attention to that and he accepted that with some initial like this thing.

So you have to pick some very good actors to play Lakshman's role because all that has to come—the initial irritation. The initial irritation has to come, like one child today told me she got very irritated at something I told her to do. But after that initial irritation passes, then hopefully you see that there's some something that we can learn, something we can follow in that way. But Lakshman Ji's representation represents all of us in some way is what I'm right about this. Yeah, Lakshman Ji's representation is also one of those, but for like... you could do anything, but don't say anything about Ram, that's it. He comes all guns blazing if Ram is troubled in any way by anyone.

It was fun scenes where Sugriva forgot about his promise, no? 'As soon as the monsoons are over, I will be ready with my army the next day and we will make a march to Lanka.' So next day Ram Ji and Lakshman are waiting. There's no army, no sign of anyone. So they send people, they send someone to get Sugriva. There is no answer. He refuses to meet the messengers. And then Hanuman goes, and Hanuman doesn't come back for two days because Sugriva Ji is busy with his partying. So then Lakshman has had it. 'You made my brother wait!' And he goes all guns blazing. He wakes Sugriva out of his stupor and brings him back. No, he just said that all your physical effort and then leave your mind empty in the present. Exactly, yes. You saw that episode? Yes, exactly.

Okay, don't flood it with your emotions and like that. What has Krishna said in the Gita, Father? In Gita, Krishna is even more explicit to make this point. He tells Arjun every moment that is anusmaran—literally means unbroken contemplation, like not even for a moment—'contemplate on me incessantly and fight the world.' Beautiful. So this message is coming to us from all directions now. Unceasing prayer, unceasing prayer. And what is Guruji's term? 'Remain in my remembrance, in my presence throughout, even during the war, especially during the war.'

Okay, lot of messages. Let's see where we were. 'The more I read the Gospel and sit with it and actually listen, I realize there's much more than can actually be understood. It is so alive and its power is more than just words.' Yes, some of you answering some of the questions. Thank you, thank you. So Lakshman Ji is an avatar of Sheshnaag. Yes, Bhagavan Vishnu is said to... also Balaram Ji was an avatar, same one, you know, that basically came to take care of the Lord even on Earth. Bhagavan Vishnu is said to place planet Earth on its hood to bear it. Yes, yes. Sheshnaag said, 'Please place the planet on my hood if you so... but only you are taking care of it.' And so with all of my five hoods, I will gaze at you with all love every moment. Beautiful. You have to ask him exactly, yes.

Break, break, break, break the recurring chain. These recurring chains are the conditions. The conditioning is what is called the vasanas. But I like the term chain, actually. These are the chains which keep us down. Cold? You too cold? No, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. How is it? It's okay. Manage. It's going down and they fixed the radio. That's great. Okay, some hands are up. Let's go to Paula. Namaste, Paula.

Namaste, Father. Namaste. I'm not sure what to say. It's coming to you again just to see what comes because I've been like trying to know what to say and that is very strange really, to have something I guess interesting or something to say, but doesn't work like that. I just prefer to be just here with you and to see how conversation just unfolds if it's the case. Maybe it's not even needed or I don't...

Fine, it's completely fine. So what is the report on remaining with God's presence? I'm just trying, Father. Yes, yes. So Colombia... Colombia, what time is it in Colombia now?

It's 9:00 a.m.

9:00 a.m. So okay, so let's not talk about today. How was yesterday?

Yesterday... yesterday I know for sure that most of the space was occupied by 'me' things. Like, I'm now in a process of... I'm going through an application for a job that it came suddenly. I wasn't looking for that, but it came and I said, 'Okay, yes, I'll do it.' And yes, you said...

What is the report on remaining with God's presence?

I'm just trying, Father. Yes, yes. So, Colombia... it's 9:00 a.m. in Colombia now. Okay, so let's not talk about today. How was yesterday? Yesterday, I know for sure that most of the space was occupied by 'me' things. Like, I'm now in a process of going through an application for a job that came suddenly. I wasn't looking for that, but it came and I said, 'Okay, yes, I'll do it.'

And yes, you said, or God said? Who said 'yes' to it?

Yes, um, that's a nice question because can it become this granular? It's not even this—like, this is a big thing, a job—but can it become even more granular than this? Say it came and I said quickly that 'yes,' you see. But in that, I wanted to ask: so this 'I said,' was the 'I' of me saying it, or was it you were prompted from within? I feel like it was from within because at some point I said to God, 'I'm open if you want me to have a regular job and all that,' because money things are very oppressive right now. So I said, because I've been in this position, a very 'me' position of 'No, I cannot be unemployed, I cannot be,' and at some point I said, 'Okay, if it is your will that I become employed, and even if I cannot come to satsang, but I feel it's what's needed or it's your will,' then I said okay. And this offering came, this job opening came. So I feel a response to that.

This report is beautiful, very beautiful. Okay, so you prayed and said, 'Whatever be your will, God, Father, I will follow.' Then this opportunity came. But good, this is very good already. But I'm going to pry a little more. Say, okay, now this opportunity came. So did you just presume that because I prayed it must come from God, or did you wait even then and say, 'Move me, Father, or guide me as to how to say yes to all this process'?

Yes, you mean yes, and I'm not second-guessing.

Very good. You applied, and I'm just using this as a representative example for how to lead our lives, how to deal with decision-making for all of us. Sometimes it's just very clear, two plus two is four, it has to be from God, you see. But even then, take a moment. Take a moment and say, 'Thank you for this opportunity, but you move me as you have been moving me. You move me in response to this also.' So it makes us even deeper in His presence. Don't allow the mind to ever rush you and have its way with you. Just, okay, it's come like that, you see. And it's never too late, because for God there's no problem with the past. If He needs to change the past, it's just nothing for Him. So it's never too late to go to Him and say, 'I don't know whether I really waited for your light, waited for your guidance on this one, but I notice it now. Please help me, Father. Please help me. Shine your light on this, and whatever be your will.' And that process must be independent of whatever the life situation may be, whether there is no money in the bank or the bank is full of cash overflowing. This must not change. Because do we actually know whether we'll have a more fruitful life or better life with more money or with less money? We don't actually know. But He knows. So He knows, and we must trust His grace to provide whatever is needed for this life.

So let me share a bit more on this. If we are going to ask for something easy, then sometimes we block ourselves and say, 'No, I can't go with this specific thing to God, so I will try to fix it for myself.' So don't fall into that trap, for sure. If you are going to be concerned with something or worry about something, then like an innocent child, it's better you take it to the Father anyway. Just like a child saying, 'Can I have a football to play with?' Even though he's asking for something specific, at least he's asking the Father. So already that is better than just the child sitting and thinking, 'How can I solve this for myself, get this football, because I can't go to the Father with it?' So that is better. Then even better is to say, 'Football or no football is your will, because I don't know what is better for me.' I don't know what is better for me, how I will be, whether I'll become proud this way or that way. I don't know. With integrity, with honesty, just to remain like that innocent child.

So then what happens is that in every moment we are secure and only goodness can flow, because in that which flows from Him, that is the only good. So then we have secured our life in true, in the true good, in an authentic goodness. So of course we don't have to worry about the past. Just starting now, just be with Him for everything. Rely on Him for everything.

Yes, Father. You know that something beautiful is happening, and it's kind of both what you have described, that both things are kind of happening at the same time. Because as this spiritual seeker or spiritual ego, I feel I have always divided my life, you know? Like, God cannot—I cannot ask God to take care of these worldly things because it's not the highest, so I have to take care of it by myself, I guess. And now what I'm seeing, yeah exactly, it's like this everything—I mean, God knows and the best solutions come from Him. It hasn't worked the other way. And at the same time, it's this depending on Him and not looking for any outcome, specific outcome, you know? That it's whatever it is. Yeah, don't design outcomes in my mind to ask for solving it, solve this thing in this way. It's exactly—no, very...

Now, in the first mode, especially when we go to God for something specifically, you see, so then the child says, 'I want that gun which has this very pointy bullet which gets fired out of it.' And any sane father will say, 'No, you can't have it.' But for the child it will seem like, 'But I'm asking you, I was told that you can ask the Father for anything, you see, but you're just not giving it.' Because in their lack of being able to see the full picture, they can't see how they're wrong. They saw somebody on TV using the gun like that, they're probably five or six, and they're saying, 'No, no, I want that gun only.' The Father says no. Then is the Father being a loving father or unloving father? So when we pray to God, if we can pray with that trust that 'I pray to you even if I'm praying for this specific thing, but actually I don't know what is best for me.' What is that line from Tulsidas Ji? 'Whatever you do is my hit, is my good.' Some very beautifully he said that, 'I cannot determine that what you do is my good.' If you can live like that.

So ask. If you are going to worry about it, if you're going to stress yourself or others around you, then better pray to God for it specifically. It's okay. But trust His judgment on whether it should be given or not. See, otherwise you are saying that you're not only doubting His love but also His intelligence. Yes, so whatever Ram does, whatever He decides for my life is my good, Lord, is my good. Can we live like that? Whatever God decides for me, I am His child, I can ask Him for anything. It's okay, you see. That asking is not the problem, but the entitlement is. Yoga Vasistha says what? Guru is like a Kalpataru with a difference. Kalpataru will grant you any wish, but Guru will give you only that which is good for you, that which is good for you. The Satguru in your heart, Satguru presence in your heart, will only give you that which is auspicious, you see. And if it comes from Him, He will make it auspicious because the design of things are also up to Him. So He can be fully, fully trusted.

But if it comes from our pride, our ego, then that is that which causes trouble, causes suffering. So even when we ask for specific things, we must trust the outcome on God and we must trust His grace, His intelligence, because we cannot ever see the big picture. We can never see the outcome of the butterfly effect. I get this thing, suppose I become the most rotten, proud, complacent, arrogant one. So we cry for God's Darshan, we cry for His presence, you see. Then sometimes we can't understand why doesn't He come. You see, that also can be a doubt on His judgment, on His intelligence, because He knows when it is best for us, when have we become humble enough, when can we take it without it getting to our heads. So we must not waste time in questioning the outcomes, questioning God's love for us or His grace on us. Every moment of our existence is because of His grace. Our life, our life is what? Life itself is God's presence. So that which is loving us with His presence, to doubt His love is a very, very big error we can make. Okay, thank you for this opportunity to share all this.

So then you say that whatever you do is for my best, is for my good. I know that because you are the one who has given this life here. This life is actually yours. So when we say, 'I surrender my life to you,' you see, it is actually just stating that which is already true. But it's important to state that because in this life is embodied the potential to be foolish and egotistical; He has given it that power. So when we say, 'I offer my entire life to you,' it is actually giving it to that which already has it, and yet there is great power in that. So very beautiful to surrender in that way. But step, every step of the way, 'You move me, Father. You move, you guide me. Have your way with me. I am foolish many times, I do pick for myself many times, but no, please no, Father. That it is just my foolishness, not my desire to live in my own way. Now I only want to live the way you will have me live. Please forgive the pride that comes here, the foolishness that plays here, but know that truly, truly all I want is to be lived by you, to live within you.' And bless all these children with the same. I know that in your love and your mercy you will wait for everyone to determine this for themselves, but bless them, Father, because I feel like as a father I know their heart. They want you more than anything else. Okay, very good. Thank you.

Thank you, Father. Bless you. Thank you. Okay, let's go to Sam. Hello, Father. I got excited a little bit. But what you just said like in your prayer, yes, like yes, your children really want you fully. It's just completely true. That's why I wanted to come, because I feel a little overloaded and a little disconnected, and it's such an unbearable feeling, Father, really. It doesn't matter how life is, how the world is. We are coming to you with these things sometimes, especially myself—I mean always—but actually they don't matter at all. Like, I can come with this because I already feel connected with God, but if you feel disconnected, these things are nothing at all, you know? Like, yeah, this connection is unbearable, not acceptable.

Yes, very good. I'm very happy. It may sound strange, but may it become unbearable for all of you, as the sages have told us, that once your life becomes that, any distance from Him seems like you become restless like a fish out of water. Yes, then your life is on the right track. So may all of you be blessed by this restlessness. It may seem like a very strange blessing for Father to give, but it is very important. Not being comfortable without Him is a great blessing.

And Father, I just want to offer everything which can separate me from Him, like even experientially. I just love you so much and just thank you for bringing me into this presence. Like, yes, other practices, other things, other places, like everything in front of me God has given me, but only you, you are giving me this presence, you know? Only you are bringing me here. Only you are giving me light and oxygen, breathe, whatever it is. Him, actually. So just thank you for being in my life. Thank you.

Thank you. May He bless you with all His life, with all His love. Thank you. Yes, may all steps be taken in Him.

Yeah, Father, it seems like I will go somewhere, but I don't want to move without Him, you know? Just, I cannot. So yes, this is the most important thing for me, Father. I just want to be with God and may all the other things just be taken care of by Him. Like whether I will go—I mean, I don't want to...

Light and oxygen, whatever it is, Him actually. So just thank you for being in my life. Thank you.

May He bless you with all His life, with all His love. Thank you.

Yes, may all steps be taken in Him. Yeah, Father, it seems like I will go somewhere, but I don't want to move without Him. You know, I just cannot. So yes, this is the most important thing for me, Father. I just want to be with God and may all the other things just be taken care of by Him. Whether I will go—I mean, I don't want to even think about them. Just, I need Him, you know? And I don't want to even decide or know anything. Just Him, Him, Him, Him.

Very good. All is yours, all is yours, all is yours. We say to God that beautiful story of Nanak Ji, who is weighing the grain to give, and he was the shopkeeper in a shop. So he's weighing the grain, so he's counting: ek, do... one, two, three. Then he comes to thirteen, which in Hindi is 'tera.' 'Tera' also means 'yours.' Everything is yours. So he keeps giving the customer: 'Tera, tera, tera.' So that thirteen, thirteen, thirteen doesn't end. He surrenders everything to God. It is a representation of that surrender. And then a king's guard saw this. A king's guard saw this and said, 'This man is squandering the kingdom's reserves.' So they did an audit; they measured everything. People said, 'Yes, he's been giving much more food to everyone.' And there was, in fact, more in the granary than was supposed to be. This is the power of God's grace, the power of God's love. Just keep surrendering to Him. Only You, only You. Like you said: Him, Him, Him. Very, very good.

Thank you, thank you. Let's go to Father. There is nothing to say now. Very good. I'm always ready, ready to be chopped by you. But I stop chopping long ago. But this—I give credit to your work. This ego 'I,' that 'I' is coming again and again, and he's taking all your credit. It's all your work. It's all your days. It's coming up now. Sometimes this foolish brain is taking the credit always. Actually, one day your presence will leave this body, then it's just waste. Yeah. So now let me give importance to your presence when it is right now, right in this body.

Very good, very good. Absolutely right. The Satguru presence is with us now. What a blessing that is. Who knows what the next moment will be like, what the next day will be like? So let's devote ourselves fully to His light every moment and trust Him for everything. I love what was just said about Yogi Ji just now. He said that the Master's presence is the greatest blessing because you may come to a wish-fulfilling tree or a wish-fulfilling well which will give you everything, but only a Master's light will give you only that which is good for you. So if we can come to the discipleship of the Atma within with that kind of faith, with that kind of trust—that whatever You do for me is for my good, my life is Yours—and if I truly mean that my life is Yours, then You are doing everything. And if You are doing everything, then it cannot be bad. Only You know what is best. So just stay in this: 'You move me, You move me. Whatever is left of me is Yours. Take me fully. Whatever is left of me is Yours. I am Yours in every way.' Surrender to God in this way and He knows. He knows everything. Trust that He knows your surrender. All that is good is coming from the Satguru within, God's presence within. The mind will come and want to take credit and say it is an individual who's done all this, a person does all of this. Keep that individual, like you're rightly doing, as a foolish servant, a beggar of God. That is the highest place for it. In the world, it may seem like the lowest place for it, but in servitude to God is our highest throne. There's no higher position, no better place to be, because the potential for pride is not there. So I bless you with this. I bless you all with this. You keep noticing in this way and keep surrendering, surrendering it to God's grace. Bless you, bless you. Let's go to Anne.

Thank you, Ananta. And I'm really sorry that after this beautiful satsang and very deep prayer, I come up with this. Like Kar last time, she said—I'm really sorry that I'm just paraphrasing—but she said something like, 'I'm really sorry I'm going to spoil this.' So I said, 'But if you notice it already, then you don't have to.' But I feel I have to come up really because—

Wait, wait. Don't worry. I'm not going to stop our conversation till you say it's done, okay? So don't worry. Let's go really slowly. So you say, 'I have to.' So that 'have to,' who is it coming from? Is it coming from God's will or from your will?

No, it's not coming from—it's very far, very, very far from God's will.

How are you hostage to it right now?

I am not—this is the matter. I am unconnected from God at the moment. I know, but how are you hostage to this which is telling you 'you have to'?

I do hostage, yeah. How are you hostage to it? Tell me.

Just here, it doesn't care if I'm hostage or not. I mean, this is a tension inside my body and—

Okay, so just notice. Okay, slowly. Let's go slowly. What exactly is the sensation that you are experiencing right now?

You mean right now in my body? This kind of tension, this kind of tightness in my belly, at my chest. And it's here for a week now. And not always, but it is here. And this was my question as well, that—sorry, okay.

Well, don't worry. Let's—I know something wants to rush, but let's take time over this because I'm giving you the tools in this process, hopefully, to deal with these situations when they come.

I would be very happy.

Very good, very good. So now you noticed that there is some sensation of contraction, probably, which is happening in your body, in your heart area, in your stomach. You feel like something is uncomfortable, you see? Yes? This discomfort by itself, you see, by itself, what does it mean without any interpretation from the mind?

Ananta, believe me, I know where you want to take me and I know this is the truth. But when I am alone, it's not—it really feels like this kind of tension, this kind of contraction can disconnect me from God. This kind of physical condition. I mean, for sometimes hours, I just try praying and surrendering and doing every practice, and I'm just going deeper and deeper in this tightness. And I don't know. I know with you it's going to work now, whatever you do.

Yeah. So when that kind of thing comes, that means that it's already something is loosening up, no? And it's not because of me or anything like that. It's just that you are bringing it to your true light. And when something comes to your true light and you're not rushing, you're not getting bullied by the mind, then you will notice that it's a bundle of sensations. And the mind is telling you that you are drowning, going deeper and deeper inside these sensations. But actually, you are that untouched space in which these sensations are occurring. So who are these sensations actually hurting? How are they attacking you?

There is so much 'I.' There is the identification. When there is this tension, identification straight goes there and focuses on it, and I cannot cut this focus.

Slow, slow, slow. So there is sensation?

Yes.

How do we make a sensation into an identification?

I don't do it. It happens by itself. It just happens by itself. Yes, yes. That I don't want to do. Nobody would do by—no, it's really happening. I don't want it to happen. I want to be always with God. I don't—yeah, I just want to—yeah, sorry.

No, no, it's good. It's very good. So that is why we are hostage to it. Because the sensation comes, 'I don't want to be identified with it, but I am identified with it.' Is it? And can I get identified without believing a thought? Like, try to identify with the sensation without buying into any idea.

To be open, to be... because I know you are stronger than me and you will, you will win. I mean, of course. And I don't know why I said this. I mean, I—

Mind gets—that's almost like the mind talking, that 'Oh, now I know I'm in satsang. Now during this interaction, you are going to win.' I know the mind is saying—

I'm so shy. I don't know. So I'm so sorry, Ananta. I don't know how it came from my mouth.

I'm very happy to hear it directly like that, you see? Because that is the voice which is oppressing you, actually. Because whose voice was that? 'I, I, I, I am so weak. I, I am.' I believe always, again and again and again, to this voice. So after this long time with you, still I believe it.

Yes.

So let's look at it. When you are focused on God or you are focused on remaining empty for God, even during that time, you believe it?

Because I put so much effort to be with God. This effort distracts me because my head just wants to blow up. So much effort I want to be with God.

That's a very good trump card. That's a very good trump card from the mind. Because 'I'm putting—the problem is my effort to be with God. It is the effort only to be with God which is causing the problem.' So let's stop the effort to be with God. Like that.

What? Yes. And yeah, and now to be with God, you say that I'm still believing after so long in satsang, is it?

So the effort to be with God is only the effort which it takes to drop that which is false. Or no? Can you tell me again, please? Sorry, I don't know.

For all of you, this is very important. For all of you, you see, when we say we must take the effort and then God's grace will work to be with God, what is the effort needed? The effort that is needed is to cut the chains, the belief in the false. If we did not fall, if you were not conditioned by the false, this avidya, then to be with God is the most effortless thing.

And this is the other. Then after I see, okay, no need for effort, and I put so much effort to have no effort. And okay, what you do?

I can understand. I can understand what's happening. Where is all of this happening?

It's all in my mind. I cannot step out from it, Ananta Ji. You—

Are you sure you can't step out from it?

I'm not sure. No. I—nobody is.

Because you can spend some time with your nose instead of your mind right now, can you not? What's happening on your nose right now? What are the sensations of the nose?

Because my mind said it's coming from my mind, obviously. This is not the—this is not God. If I focus on my nose, this is not the highest, this is not the absolute. This is just some little practice so that you are not distracted so much. But still, you are—after one minute, the thoughts will all come back again. And after, come back again and again and again and—

So right now, what is happening is that you're hearing two voices. You're hearing the voice of this man from Zoom and you're hearing the voice of your mind, isn't it? You're hearing these two voices.

Yes. I hate this voice in my mind. I don't want to. Why is it always here?

That is the mind. The voice itself is called the mind, you see. So these thoughts—thoughts is what is called the mind. Now, if you decided, 'I'm going to follow what this voice on Zoom is telling me and not the voice in my head,' then who can stop you from doing that?

I only trust you, Ananta. I only trust you. I don't trust this.

Okay. Now, whose voice is this? So let's do it together. I am telling you, don't worry about what your mind is saying. See if that is possible just for one moment, for a few seconds.

It is possible for a few seconds.

Whose voice is that?

I don't know. I'm so—

Remain empty. And in that emptiness also, you will hear the same voice which you're hearing—not in the same texture or the same tone, but the same one that is talking to you on Zoom is actually talking to you in your heart as well. But for that, first we need to just come to some peace. So allow a few thoughts to come and go. Not much. It's not so difficult. Just a few thoughts, one or two thoughts, come and go. You start to settle. Just feel like that. It's a great simplicity, actually. It's great simplicity. Now, don't make any conclusions. The mind will scare you. It will say, 'It's fine in satsang, but wait, wait for later.' I suggest not talking this week. Just this only, throughout the week. Not outwardly necessarily, although that's fine too, but inwardly. Yes, thank you. That can seem so complicated when we're stuck in the middle of all of this. We can't escape.

Two thoughts come and go, you start to settle. Just feel like that. It's a great simplicity, actually. It's great simplicity. Now don't make any conclusions. The mind will scare you. It will say, 'It's fine in satsang, but wait, wait for later.'

I was talking this week, just this only throughout the week, not outwardly necessarily, although that's fine too, but inwardly. Yes, thank you. That can seem so complicated. We are stuck in the middle of all of this, we can't escape. He tried, he tried for a long time today, the lawyer for the mind.

It's very, very interesting. This whole conversation I felt was very interesting because how the mind can make the teacher, the master, into an adversary initially and say, 'Yeah, yeah, I know you're stronger, you will do something,' but actually that is, you know, all this kind of thing. But actually, Presence in your heart, which is the one on your side, it wants to take you away from this. But we end up feeling that the mind's voice is actually representing me, that that is my true voice. Don't fall for these things. This is very important.

I don't feel like there's any child in this room, if you engage with me in some way, who at some point or the other doesn't feel attacked, doesn't feel like, 'Why is he attacking? Why is he?' Same tendency. The position seems attacked. The position is what? That which can keep us in suffering for so long. It says, 'I can't do anything about it. This identification just happens,' you see. So it is actually saying that Bhagwan said don't identify, Papa said don't identify, Guru says don't identify, I say don't identify. All in different ways. All of these people are lying. You can't do anything about it. You are caught. So no point being in satsang. Run! You run.

I don't know why I come. It is no point. I know what he's going to say. He's going to say, 'Don't attach to thought, don't identify.' You already know. No point coming. You run! Why? Because it is threatened. If it was growing in satsang, it would not say you run, it would say you stay. I should always say something like this with this background laughter. I'm not putting on mute, I'm enjoying that. Like at the point the boxer also knows that this round he is going to lose, so just like, 'You got me now, but catch me after!'

I want you to start like this, okay? Next time the pattern, a few times you can watch a recording. You can watch a recording when the grumpy one comes. 'No, it's pointless. I'm stuck.' Recording all of us. Where's the joy? Yes, yes, yes. Yes.