The Method Is Secondary, Your Intention Is Primary - 26th July 2024

Unless you see the ephemeral nature of this life, you will not fully be drawn to God. You will try to put one foot there, one foot there, you see? And that way, nobody has succeeded. Have you heard the testimony from any teacher, any saint who said, 'Yes, yes, I was half the time interested in relationships and money and body and all of that, and half the time interested in God, and now I found God'? They don't say like that. And remember, I'm talking about the inward. I'm talking about the inward. Outwardly, I still have work, I have children, I have family, and I have these children who are more worrisome actually than my biological ones at times. So all this happens in the world, even here, but the task is to remain Antarmukhi, inward-facing.

What is the promise the sages have made? Are they lying? Has any sage ever said so? Then what do you feel like they're trying to tell us? If with one collective voice, no matter what religion, what culture, what part of the world, everyone has said, 'Turn inward,' you see? Don't focus so much on the outward. Then they must be onto something that nobody has said, 'No, no, just focus on the outward and you will find God or you will lead a happy life.' So if you can even in this whole Satsang get this one line: Antarmukhi Sada Sukhi. Inward-facing, always content, peaceful, happy. Yeah. How many are scared of that? Okay, what are the goodies you will miss out on? How many want 50% Bahirmukhi, 50% Antarmukhi? It doesn't work out like that.

I wanted to ask, what does it convey, Antarmukhi? Like, is it about attention? Is it about attachment? What is it really about?

So look at it this way. I have told you God lives where? Is it the physical heart? Not the physical heart; that is made up of food again. So God cannot live in your physical heart, isn't it? So what is this inside? What is this Antarmukhi? Where do you go when you go inside? When you turn inwards, where do you go? Turn inwards. Okay, you can close your eyes if you want. Where do you go? If you were just a body, what should happen when you go inside? You should see your organs. You should see like an X-ray: bones, flesh, all of that. You don't see that. You go somewhere else only. And we can get into how that is beyond time and space and out of this universe, but we'll keep that for another Satsang because some of you are very fresh.

But remember that in this going inwards is your opportunity to meet God. And it is an intuitive switch. It's not just merely with attention, although initially it may seem like we need to switch with attention, but it is an inward switch. But first, what you have to do is, like Jesus said, 'Where your treasure is, there your heart will be.' Where is your treasure? Because wherever you think your treasure is, there your heart will be, your focus will be. In this statement, so now you have heard in Satsang that God's presence, your Atma, lives in your heart. Do you believe that? Doubt? It's okay. At least you say it's not like, 'Okay, Ananta is saying that God lives inside your heart, but you are saying is this like that?' No. So okay, so that's a good start because many times it may happen like that. You may not say it in politeness, but you may say, 'But I'm a doctor, I know what's inside,' you know? But it's not like that.

So you feel like, yes, it could be. Then the next question is, do you have, can you testify to a moment where that has been your insight as well? And it's okay, whatever the answer is. It's not something to feel either proud of or guilty about. Yeah? Everybody's with me? So first is, when I'm saying He lives inside your heart, you're like, 'No, no, there's no God like that, it's just a mental notion, forget it,' you see? Like that, then we have a long way to go to meet each other. But if you at least say, 'Okay, now it seems like what is being shared is true, but I can't really testify to that as a living truth,' then at least that's a starting point, isn't it, for us to contemplate this together, for us to deepen in this?

So let's convert this into a worldly example. You went to a particular temple where I have told you that the most pristine form of the Lord is there. You went over there and you don't see anything. The sanctum sanctorum is dark and empty. The Garbhagriha is dark and empty. You don't see anything at all. Now what will you do? So somebody who at least seems a bit trustworthy has told you that God's presence is in your heart, you see? Or you were using the temple example, so you will go to this holy temple somewhere. He gives you the directions or she gives you the directions. You go there, you enter the temple, and you don't find anything. Then what happens? Take me through the process of what you go through.

First some anger may come, frustration may come.

You see, now why does frustration come? Frustration comes because it would not come if you felt like you had been conned, that 'this one told me go there, you will get the most beautiful Darshan of God, I went and there's nothing, I got fooled.' So I'm very angry, I'll file a police complaint, something like that. But frustration means that somewhere you recognize that what he's saying is true, but it's not happening for you. And that's when we start to get irritated. There are many moves the mind has. Another move is that when it doesn't happen, the mind doesn't like accepting that. It'll say, 'Ah, this is it only. This only is it,' because we've been told it's a no-thingness, so this only is the no-thingness. So it has many reasons to fool itself as well, isn't it?

But what does a true devotee have to do? You have to follow and you have to wait. Very good. For how long? What is the time limit? What is the time limit for the waiting? Are you all with me? You're getting what I'm saying? So you enter the temple, it's all dark space. Now I want to tell you before we go to the next step that you know when you enter a dark room, what happens first? You're not able to see anything because your eyes have not adjusted to that yet. Our eyes have not adjusted to that yet, but after a while, you start to see. Now, can you control that process? Can you say, 'See harder'? It happens organically. See?

So in the quest for God and to come to Atma, we have to be patient and aware that it can happen by Grace, but we have to give everything that we have. Another point of difficulty that we have to keep surrendering ourselves moment to moment: 'Oh God, I'm Yours. Oh God, I'm Yours. Oh God, I'm Yours. I belong to You. My life is Yours. My head is Yours. My heart is Yours.' Over and over. Not necessarily although verbally also is not bad, but in our heart, that must be the intention every moment when we face the absence, the apparent absence of God's presence in our heart. And we must live there like Ma Shabri. Why Ma Shabri? Because she spent her entire life in faith till she was an old lady.

When she was very young, she did enough Sadhana that her Guru said that, 'You have Mukti. You have Mukti. You come with me, we are going to Swarga.' He told her, 'You come to heaven with me, you have Mukti.' She said, 'No, I know that my Lord will come and see me.' So she spent many years alone in her hut in a forest, every day picking fruit for God only, the best ones, and eating them in her innocence to check for what is the sweetest fruit. So with that kind of, or at least an attempt to emulate that kind of life, emulate that kind of devotion, we have to wait in God's holy temple inside. How many of us are willing to do that, or at least want to be willing to do that? Want to be willing is all right. So we all see our weaknesses, and this man is nothing compared to Ma Shabri. But at least I'm wanting to be willing to do that. So that's important.

So when you turn inwards, how do you turn inwards? What is the method that our teachers have told us? Pray, you inquire. The beautiful thing about this is that whether you pray to God or you really want to know the truth about who you are, you come to the same place. Rahim Ji said, 'I went looking for God and I found myself, and I went looking for myself, I found God.' So whether your pursuit is for self-discovery or your pursuit is devotion to God, you come to the same point. So use the tool which your teacher gives you. And how much to use it? Don't get scared of me; I only look scary with this beard.

The beautiful thing about this is that whether you pray to God or you really want to know the truth about who you are, you come to the same place. Kabir Ji said, 'I went looking for God and I found myself, and I went looking for myself and I found God.' So whether your pursuit is for self-discovery or your pursuit is devotion to God, you come to the same point. So use the tool which your teacher gives you. And how much to use it? Don't get scared of me; I only look scary with this beard. Not well, you know, as much as we can do, but really the advice is to make it unceasing—ajapa jap—unceasing, undivided focus on God. That has to be the attempt from our side. When the grace will happen, when the recognition will happen, is up to Him.

Because the Darshan of the Atma within is the Darshan of an unperceivable light. Just contemplate this statement for a moment: it is the Darshan of an unperceivable light. Many times we mistake the fireworks to be it. That is like saying that the Prasad in the temple is the Darshan. It is not. That is just the outpouring, the byproducts. The outpouring is beautiful; you feel a lot of love, you feel a lot of joy, you feel a lot of maybe experiences, spiritual experiences. Sometimes the Kundalini may awaken, sometimes so many things will happen, but our focus has to remain God, God, God through our prayer, you see.

So everything that helps us turn from Bahir Mukhi to Antar Mukhi—that means outer-facing to inner-facing—is a pathway to God. And by God's grace, in the world there are hundreds of true pathways to God. You must never feel that our way is the only way or our path is the only path. God is very kind; He's given everyone a pathway to God. What is that pathway? That which changes us from outer-facing into inner-facing. So if you resonate with the prayer, the prayer is very good. Because in the prayer, then you start the process of communication which then translates into a communion with God. Then God becomes your best friend, your beloved, your father, your mother.

But that period of time where you remain inward-facing using the inquiry or prayer with no apparent benefit or outcome, that is the period of Sadhana. That is the period of seeming difficulty. Keep inquiring: 'Who am I?' Truly, sincerely, 'Who am I?' It can be frustrating. I had many tantrums like this with myself, just sitting saying, 'What is this? Who am I? Who am I? When will I come to God?' you see. So all of us go through those frustrating times. We feel like, 'Where is it leading to?' But are you willing, like Mooji Baba, to dedicate your life to remaining inward-facing independent of the outcome?

I can make a list of difficult things I'm asking everyone to do, but it's all just one difficult thing: take the risk and bet your life on God. That is the one difficult thing. Everything else is included in that. Take this bet for me. I know some of you met me only once, but say, 'I want God and I will not bother with anything else.' Then you see how much will be given to you. But don't take the risk because of how much will be given to you. Be willing to be a naked beggar who is spit on on the streets. Be willing to be like that truly, with integrity, if that is what God wants. Then God may make you Raja Janak or Ashtavakra. Either way, there's no guarantee of which way this will go. But know that nobody who has ever come to God has regretted it or said, 'Oh no, I spent my whole life on this; I could have focused on money instead or relationships instead.' Nobody has said that. Many who get frustrated in the process have said that.

So how long are you willing to wait in God's temple in your heart fruitlessly? That is faith. How long? What is the answer?

This life entirely, at least.

Very, very... that's also good. That kind of devotion, that kind of allegiance to your teacher is very good. It's very... I have a feeling her answer will be that it has to be forever, even if it takes our entire life and maybe many lifetimes, that we must remain like that. And if it's any reassurance, if God made Himself so apparent to this foolish boy—now a fifty-year-old man, but at that time a foolish boy—and continues to bless him in spite of his daily foolishness, you see, then all of you seem much more sincere, much more devoted than I ever was. So if He has blessed me in this merciful way, then He will bless you all as well. But that patience, that Sabr, is very important.

So sometimes my children get frustrated and they say, 'I'm not cut out for this, I'm going to leave.' It's mostly just a tantrum and they don't leave. But sometimes it can really... the ones who actually leave don't say anything, they leave quietly because it becomes too difficult to communicate for them and for me also. So when you, now having this information and it seems to come from at least partly, hopefully, a credible player, a trustworthy source, then if you say, 'No, no, I'm not cut out for this,' then what are you cut out for? What is Plan B?

Before we come to Satsang, we can have various alternatives. But now, unfortunately, you got scammed into coming here. Because somewhere this is seated in you now: that your life could be lived for God, in His presence, in His light. So if you say, 'I'm not cut out for this, how can I wait in my heart temple for my entire life where life is passing me by? My friends are getting married and having children and making millions of dollars and doing all of these big things.' I'm not saying that if you are inward-facing these things won't happen for you, but they may or they may not. Are you willing to take that risk that life will not go according to your plan, it will go according to His plan? Yes.

So when you identify what you're not able to risk, that defines the boundary of your faith. You're getting this point? So you can just check on yourself, and you don't have to report it to anyone. Just check on yourself: 'I'm willing to give up this body, this head, all my attachments except this.' That then becomes the boundary of your faith. What are you not willing to surrender to God? What is it that you want only your will about and not God's will? And all of us have something. So if you're not able to recognize that something, then you need to look deeper and be more honest with yourself. Because anyone who comes to me and says, 'I can honestly go with everything God wants about everything,' then we need to have a deeper conversation. But at least you need to identify for yourself: where is your boundary? So can you take a couple of minutes and just look at your own life and say, 'This is where I set my boundary. I don't offer that completely to God because I only want it my way.' Let's take a few minutes and contemplate that.

So if you really look, we'll find at least a few things where we want my way and not God's way. So when Guru Nanak Ji was asked—because he said it doesn't matter what spiritual experiences you had, he said it doesn't matter how smart your mind is and what big things you can talk, he said it doesn't even matter how much love you experience right now, it doesn't matter how much meditation you do—he said then... I hear it in this way, that the frustrated disciple then says, 'Then Master, what matters?' So he said to them, 'Hukam Rajai Chalna,' which means that always live in the command of God. And that is Nanak's main pointing.

But if you don't sit in the temple of your heart, if you don't remain inward-facing through your prayer or your inquiry or whatever method your teacher told you, then how will you come to know what is His will? Then like most Advaitins, you will say, 'But everything is His will.' It is, it is. This is one of those things which our mind cannot parse. Everything is His will, yet is it? Do you feel like Guru Nanak Ji would have given an instruction that we must live in God's will if we were only doing that all the time anyway? So Nanak said more than your meditation, more than your smartness, more than all of these things, you must live in God's will. It's like saying... he could have said, 'You must breathe air.' Why would he say that? So there must be something deeper: that although everything happens in God's will, God has also given His children the opportunity to turn towards Him or to not turn towards Him within His will itself. That's why I'm saying it's not mentally understood.

So in this moment, are we inward-facing? Are we focused on God? Or are we focused on our attachment, our desire, our ego? The beauty of the pathway to God is that whatever you notice for yourself, you can offer that to God. Say, 'Father' or 'God' or 'Ram, Krishna, Allah, Jesus,' whatever, in whichever way you want to pray. You say to Him or her, 'Ma,' that 'Father, Mother, Beloved, I want to only live in your light, to be only in service to you. But within this...' and if you're in a tantrum mode, you can say, 'Within your Maya, I get trapped in this, in these situations, in this particular way. Please help me. Please help me sincerely.' And I promise you, He hears you.

And your prayer doesn't have to be like... some people start becoming very Shakespearean in their prayer, you see. So they're like, 'Thou listen to me, to my plea,' you know, like that, which is sweet in some way. But you can just be... if that's how you normally talk, it is fine. But don't feel like some flowery language is a hotline to God or something like that. Just simple, innocent, childlike pleading is more than enough. So in that way, just take everything to God if you are prayerful. And if your temperament is more inquiry-oriented, then when the mind tells you, 'But you must have this,' ask yourself, 'Who is this I that must have? Who am I? Who is this I that must have this?' Can you find it? Or 'must not have,' or 'must be this way,' or 'must not be this way.' Whatever the temptation of your mind is, you can either surrender it to God in your heart temple or inquire into it.

In that way, you don't change your focus away from God. Everything that Maya throws at you, you use it to deepen in your love for God. So then your prayer life doesn't get interrupted; then your unceasing prayer does not stop. What is prayer for me? It is just a focus being on God. Is the focus on me or is the focus on God? When the focus is on God, then I'm being prayerful. When the focus is on me, then I'm being egotistical, proud, worldly. And in that way, all inquiry is also prayer. Ultimately, there is no difference between the Bhakti Marg and the Gyan Marg. Then you recognize that Atma Gyan and Atma Darshan is the same. Have you met any or heard from any sage, 'I only had Atma Darshan, I didn't get Atma Gyan,' or 'I had Atma Gyan, I did not get Atma Darshan'? That is a misunderstanding. It cannot happen like that because this is beyond perception and purely intuitive. So the insight and the knowledge of what that insight contains is actually the same thing. This is the beauty of this, which is not worldly. In a worldly sense, you can't understand how the perception of something or the finding of something can be equal to knowledge. But self-knowledge is like that; it's beyond the mind and beyond perception.

But this gift is given to those who have the intention at least to dedicate themselves fully to God. And all of you, that's why you come to Satsang. And I hear this is the second time, you see. You come to Satsang, you were in Rishikesh all of you, and you also come here now and for the retreat. So that means that something is already drawing you in. Otherwise, you can go to some nice holiday, you can go for some movies, you can do some fun stuff. But you come to Satsang, at least for the second time. Because the first time, some friend could have lied to you and said, 'It's a lot of fun, it's very relaxing, you'll have a great time,' you see. But after the first time, you would have experienced that actually it's squeezing your throat. It is not any of those things. If they happen, they happen as byproducts, it's okay. But really the intention is to get over the ego, and the ego doesn't want to give up that easily. So that process of unclenching can seem like a lot of work, can seem like too much difficulty. And in spite of that, if you come for the second time, it means that something is calling you from within. If you sense that, then just... I see it may not sound like an elegant example, but like a dog, you must...

It's squeezing your throat. It is not any of those things. If they happen, they happen as a byproduct; it's okay. But really, the intention is to get over the ego, and the ego doesn't want to give up that easily. So that process of unclenching can seem like a lot of work, can seem like too much difficulty. And in spite of that, if you come for the second time, it means that something is calling you from within. If you sense that, then just—I see it may not sound like an elegant example, but like a dog, you must follow its scent. Catch the scent of the inner incense, of the inner perfume, and just get into a dogged pursuit of that. What is the source of this? Where are you, God? Where are you, Father? Where are you? It doesn't matter what the words of your prayer are. The method is secondary; your intention is primary.

But I hope that this satsang just doesn't remain like, 'Oh, satsang, you know, we had it in satsang and now back to life.' Many children report this: that in satsang they felt like they could commit themselves completely; the minute you go out, then you feel like it's okay, you know, then we go on, then we forget about most of the things which I said. I've seen that many, many times over the years. So you must be careful of that switchover. Remember this moment. Remember your commitment to be inward-facing towards God, using the method of prayer or inquiry, whatever resonates with you, to surrender your heart, to surrender your life fully to God and to God alone. That is your commitment in this moment, at least hopefully so. So keep that with you and don't forget about that when Maya pulls you in.

I'm an old man, so in my time, we used to have Tom and Jerry cartoons on TV. Tom and Jerry cartoons, some of you may have seen once or twice. But in that, what would happen is that when Tom wanted to catch Jerry—Tom was the cat and Jerry was the mouse—he would set a trap of cheese. And you remember that scene where the cheese would have those arms, like 'come'? So they would come in front of Jerry and they'd say 'come,' and then Jerry starts floating, just following in that air, just floating toward that. It's so similar. It's just so similar that this 'ha' will come just when we are making inroads, breakthroughs. Then something comes in the world: the best job comes, the best partner comes, suddenly something, and the mind says, 'Ah, there's time for God, but right now do this. There's no time for God.' We miss out on our opportunity then.

The idea that is very popular in the song is the biggest rubbish in the world, because a few weeks after, the partner rubs you the wrong way. So we will not get into these traps now. Does that mean that there is no such thing as an auspicious relationship, that we must not get into them or all become sadhus and sit in a cave? No, that's not at all what I'm saying. He can turn everything into auspicious, everything into auspicious, and He can bring the most auspicious things into our life as well. But it sounds very simplistic, but good things come to those who are patient, who wait. If it is from God, then it is not going anywhere, so don't worry about that.

Jesus said something very beautiful. He said, 'Why are you anxious?' I'm paraphrasing him, please forgive me, but, 'Why are you anxious?' When the bird wakes up, who provides the food for a bird every day? Rahim Ji said something very similar. He says, 'Do fishes worry?' They don't know where tomorrow's meal is going to come from, or they're just merrily swimming away. So if this Holy Father takes care of every bird and every fish, does He not love us enough that He'll take care of us? What is the need for us to worry? What is the need for us to become feverish and grab and rush? So if you start living in this way, then you learn to be patient, you learn humility, faith ever-deepening, because your intention becomes one-pointed, which is to come to Atma.

And why is Atma so important? I'm saying these things because some of you may not have heard this before. See, because that is the only doorway to meet God. Whether you call it Holy Spirit or Atma, it doesn't matter. Whether you call it Waheguru, Satguru, it doesn't matter. Words don't matter. But that possibility of meeting God's light, His presence, is a universal possibility for all of us. That's why the sages got tired of saying, 'The treasure is in your pocket, the treasure is in your pocket.' You are running around in the world. Which treasure? All of us looked in our pocket; there was no treasure. So what is the treasure they were saying? What is the treasure? This one.

So coming back to where I started the satsang: where your treasure is, there your heart will be. So what is your treasure? What are you treasuring in life, and why is it not God? It's very important to meet yourself in this way, because everyone who signs up for satsang feels that they are spiritual anyway. Many of us in the first satsang feel like we are so spiritual. But I'm introducing you to the spiritual project. Introducing you to the spiritual project, which is complete and moment-to-moment. Punaha, we surrender to God, we pray to God, we inquire into the nature of reality. So again and again, we have to surrender ourselves.

So what have we spoken about so far? We said, what is this about? It's about finding God and living in His light. Now we said that how to do it: first, your intention has to be fully strong. If your intention is not fully strong, then it'll all be half-hearted. If your intention is strong, then you will start deepening in your faith, in your humility, in your servitude, and you will start getting blessed by insights. You will feel like God is guiding you every step. Have you already noticed that? He sends you the right books, the right video on YouTube, the right thing. Somehow you're just contemplating something and the answer shows up, a friend tells you, or a book comes. That is because you started to experience the discipleship of the Atma within.

So the next part of what I'm sharing: that God's holy presence within us is the true teacher as well. He's the giver of life, love, light, everything, but very importantly, He is the true teacher, of which us worldly teachers are just outer instruments, are just servants of that One. We don't know anything, actually. At least I don't. You just have to make yourself available to His life, to His presence, and allow His presence to use this instrument of the body, of these words. Because if you get your own knowing involved, then it becomes contaminated. So trust that your teacher is taking you to the true teacher who is sitting in your heart. So in that way, it is very important to trust the teacher in front of you as well in the satsang that you go to, so that they can keep you on track, they can keep you going in the right way.

So what I want to do more and more these days with those who've been with me for some time is that I feel like at least they've got a deep sense of what the project is and what kind of commitment is needed and what tools are available as a pathway to go on. So my talking, my sharing, I want to restrict more and more to: tell me specifically what is the issue you're having in your unceasing prayer? Is it in your inquiry, in your remaining empty? What is the specific thing I can help you with? Then that is where I'll come to.

I'm addicted to WhatsApp.

You're addicted to WhatsApp? We have good history with addictions. We have good history with addictions in the sense that so many of you, and I'm so happy, have given up such deep addictions. This will also go. Put like this green timer thing and we can give you an upper boundary, because these things just can take away all the time. Thank you for saying that, actually, because this battle between the force field of Maya and the longing for God is—see, on which ground is it fought? What is the Kurukshetra of this battle? It is the battle which is fought in time. Every moment is going to lead to you building your heart temple or building an illusion of the world. So this battle is about time, you see.

So all your mind wants to do, all Maya wants to do, is take this moment away from God. 'Ab, you have more important things to do. Later will be for God.' And that later never comes. Every time you want that later to come, then something comes in Maya which is important. This work is important, this thing is important, and the mind says, 'Okay, now tomorrow.' And tomorrow, same thing. Tomorrow, same thing. And soon it'll be the end of this life. You know, I can't fathom that as this body—apparently, I mean, it's all a dream—but suppose that you give it some semblance of reality, that this body has been around for half a century. Can you imagine? Half a century sounds like a lot, but when I really look back at it, it seemed like just yesterday, everything. Isn't it? All of us have that sense.

So the remaining time that we have will also pass like this. This moment, be with God. This moment, be with God. This moment, this moment, pray. This moment, inquire. This moment, serve Him, love Him, communicate with Him. Don't look for so much in the world. Make Him your best friend, make Him your beloved. Try it. Risk something for this man who's inviting you into this way of life. Try it out for a few days. Make Him central in your life; see what happens. So do you have a clear spiritual pathway now? You know what the project is, you know what kind of commitment is needed, you know the building blocks of that, and you know what to do on a moment-to-moment basis. If any of this is confusing, please ask me, even if you ask me a hundred times, because our mind will take us away from this. Is it clear what your life has to be now as true seekers or servants or lovers of God? Because if you're confused, don't worry about sounding stupid, because I know the mind will do everything to keep you away from the task at hand. How many of you want Plan B? Plan B is like: be happy in the world, then die. It's okay. Who knows, really? Okay, let's presume that that is true. So how many of you feel like you really want God but you don't know how to actually go about it even after hearing? Just give the mic. Why I insist that we use the mic is because many brothers and sisters have the same question. It's very important for them also.

So, I want to pray because I have this want that I have to be with God. But when I hold the mala, I start with God, but I, you know, start going with the mind and at the end I again remember, 'Oh, I had to be with God.' It starts becoming mechanical. This is exactly what you're saying. But the repetition is continuing, or you go somewhere else? Continuously it is going on.

Yeah, so your prayer is going on continuously, but after a while it is only merely mechanical. You're just saying the words; it's not coming with any feeling, it's not coming from a deeper place. Okay. Now, does this happen—please—does this happen that half the time your mind is also somewhere else, like busy with other things? Yes. So first get it to a point where it becomes just even mechanically only with the prayer. So what can you do about it? You just have to notice and pull it back. Ask for God's assistance in everything. Every time you start the prayer, say, 'God,' whichever aspect of God you pray to, 'please bless this prayer today. May I be with You, and when I forget about You, may Your grace pull me back.' Just ask for assistance in whatever seems true to you. And you see that these simple, innocent things help a lot. They seem absurd to the sophisticated Advaita mind, you know? They seem very absurd. But just the simplicity. So start your prayer like that, just with the humble bow down. When you notice yourself wandering off, just pull it back. It takes time. So that's why I said that I've refused to entertain any complaints or tantrums about prayer not working for two years. So if you've done it for two years and then you say it doesn't work for me, then let's talk about it. So we have to invest that time. And the beauty is that it itself will teach you how to pray. Our prayer teaches us how to pray, because we don't know how to pray also. Like I don't know how to teach.

With the humble bow down, when you notice yourself wandering off, just pull it back. It takes time. So that's why I said that I've refused to entertain any complaints or tantrums about prayer not working for two years. So if you've done it for two years and then you say it doesn't work for me, then let's talk about it. So we have to invest that time, and the beauty is that it itself will teach you how to pray. Our prayer teaches us how to pray because we don't know how to pray also. Yeah, like I don't know how to tell you to pray. I just say that this is the tool, use it, and that will show you how to drop into the heart, how to hear the prayer within ourselves. How does it become a japa? How does it become a prayer of the heart? How does it become an unspoken, wordless prayer? All that, only He has to do. That's why I started by saying that what can we really do, you see? So the more innocent we are, the humbler we are, and we must never feel like, 'I've prayed so much, I've prayed so much.' So whatever innocence and simplicity, just keep returning. And we lose our focus, keep returning. How many months have you been at it now?

I don't remember. I think one year.

Is it? Do you feel like it is getting deeper?

Yes, because I feel like I can't remain without prayer. I have to do it.

Because if it felt like after one year it is not like you can't sense that there's any deepening happening, then we could chat more about it and see. But if you can clearly sense that something is happening, even though ideally you would not want the mind to wander...

Ideally, so many things. I need help in that. I'll pray before every mala that I don't go with the mind, and then you notice yourself doing it.

Don't think about that too much. Just gently return to it, you see? Because the mind is a two-punch, as you've heard me say in satsang. So the one-punch is to distract you with something. The two-punch is to say, 'No, you're so unworthy, it's not happening for you, you've been trying.' You see, that two-punch is the knockout punch. The one-punch is just a jab. So let it jab you, return, but don't buy any of its narratives. Don't buy any of its story that it's not happening. I need to—not that you're doing that, but just as advice to everyone. After one year, do you sometimes get a sense that it is praying itself?

Yes, very much. It starts automatically. Even if I'm doing something, I wonder, 'I am praying.' Good.

Exactly. So value these small things like that. Then it keeps you from getting disheartened at any point. How is it? One year back, we would have loved it. Now, if we have free time and prayer is happening on its own rather than some nonsense mental thing going on, so this itself is beautiful. So keep at it. Thank you. Let's take just two or three minutes of silence, and I want to start doing that more and more because I feel like so much is shared, but because it's like constantly shared, then it becomes too much for us to actually embody. So more and more, I want to remain in silence as much and just allow it to unfold.

I realized it's a Friday today, but there are some children here who are attending Mooji's retreat in Bangalore, so they've come to visit. And I realize that many times what happens is that in spite of all best intentions, we end up meeting only once with some of the ones who come, new ones. So I just want to make sure that I see as much as I can in this one meeting in your heart, so that it flowers so deeply into the love of God, into His life. May His presence in my heart bless all of you so much that you gravitate towards His light, His taste, His presence in your heart. That is the intention. Because it happens so many times that we feel like, 'Now I'll come very often,' but somehow life will always throw things at us and it doesn't really happen. So as I'm getting older, I'm realizing that you must use every satsang as an opportunity to just give all the pointers so that a pathway to God's presence, His light, is clear for all of you. So you don't feel like, 'Yes, I want to do it, but how do I do it? I want to live in God's light, but what is the way?' And of course, He is guiding all of you, but I'm sure she'll indulge this Father for some time with all of this as well.

Shall we continue the inner journey a little bit before we go to the next question? So now you have some sense, and you can watch the recording if you like, of what it's about, what spirituality is, how to be in God's presence, how to be in God's light. So what happens is, I talked about this unperceivable light. But actually, we can neither say it is perceivable nor say it's unperceivable. And this part may sound a bit tricky to your mind because you're really diving in, so just allow it to be almost like osmosis. Allow it to enter you; don't worry about it too much in your head. Now, what would happen is that if God revealed Himself in a purely worldly way, like 'this is God,' then you would feel like God is also an object and we would not go in, you see? If God was only Nirguna, pure absolute Nirguna Brahman, which He is, but He did not manifest Himself, then that would seem unapproachable, unfindable for most of us. So then God in His mercy and grace has always found the best solution.

The holy presence of God within ourselves, we cannot say is either perceivable or unperceivable. We have to say, in a way, both, which in our mind doesn't make sense, you see? Because when I ask you the question, 'Can you sense His presence?' then you say, 'Yes, I can.' I say to you, 'Where is His presence found?' You may say, most of you may say, 'Somewhere in my heart, somewhere here, it feels right,' you see? So if it is pure only Nirguna, then you would not be able to say that. If His presence was just sheer Nirguna, then we would not be able to say 'in my heart' or 'feeling in this way here,' you see? So that 'hereness' gives our spiritual life an anchor. But you say, 'What is the color of that? Is it like other emotions like anger, fear, lust? Is it like that?' No, it's different in texture. You can't say it has those attributes or characteristics. So you can say it's here, but if I say, 'What is the boundary of this being?' you say it is boundless. And some of these things you may have to dive into more and more to be able to confirm, but I'm just again seeding all of this with you, that you say it is boundless.

So that which is Saguna, or manifest, or has quality, cannot be boundless. So that is why this holy presence of God is both Saguna and Nirguna, both Saguna and Nirguna. And only it can be met intuitively. Try as you might, you cannot find it in any worldly, in any empirical ways. Only your Atma can guide you to it. Only Atma leads to Atma, actually. Not a single line of spirituality can we fathom without the Atma's help. Without Spirit helping, we don't fathom spirituality. But many, unfortunately, in the world are trying to do a Godless or a spiritless spirituality, just like a brute force attempt, a mechanical process. It doesn't work like that, not in a lasting way anyway. So this Atma is the holy presence which you can find within yourself. It is not within your body, but it is within yourself, capital S. But it will seem like it is found within your heart in the body. It will seem like it's in this region, you see? So that is what we call the Holy Temple of God in our heart. And where, if you feel like you don't find anything, we are still supposed to be inward-focused with the faith that the darshan will come.

Remember what I said about Ma Shabri? We just have to have that faith that God's presence will reveal itself to us. Then what happens as you remain in this presence, which can seem localized in your heart, you are introduced to His boundless nature. Like, there are times where you will feel like you're everywhere, you're not localized. There are times where you feel so broad and this body just seems to be an appearance in front of you. All these insights will come where you recognize the boundlessness of Consciousness and how within this Consciousness all this world play, all these universes, they come and go. So when Ashtavakra said that you are the boundless ocean in which the lights of the universes come and go, at that point it becomes your true recognition that 'I am this ocean of Consciousness in which all of this time and space is appearing and disappearing.' And just bear with me, even if it's sounding too far-fetched at the moment, one day it may be your revelation as well, your insight as well, that what the great sage Ashtavakra said—that this universe is actually an object within myself, I am not an object in this universe.

Now, don't make this a mental understanding because that will only add to trouble and spiritual pride. But this kind of insight will start appearing. Then as you deepen in your spiritual journey, you will recognize that your true nature is pure awareness itself, that which witnesses even the boundless being but itself has no attribute, no time, no space. Nothing in the universe has ever touched the pure sakshi with no attributes, just a sakshi like an awareness. You'll notice that you are this sheer, pure awareness—not a perceiving, but that which is aware even of perceiving, that which is aware of sight, smell, taste, touch. It is, but it itself is not even bound by sight, taste, touch. You will see that you are that which you cannot really speak about. You are beyond all of this, timelessly, wordlessly. And this is the gift of the Atma within; it wants to bring you to unity with your Nirguna reality. You will realize that your truth is abheda. Abheda means non-distinct from God, one with God, in union with God. And this God we cannot fathom in our absolute reality. Nirguna Brahman is beyond any fathom.

But you will also realize, unless you give it to the mind, that this is a very delicate point in your spiritual growth. So when you get there, may you remember these words, because when you get to this point, your mind wants to come in even there and say, 'Now you got it, is it?' and tries to make even this like a personal achievement. And it makes us proud of that insight, that 'Now I'm awake, where are my students, where are my disciples?' You know, finally all these things will start happening for me. So it takes the heart's holy desire to spread the light, to share God's light and love and humility, into like a personal achievement that 'I am now a teacher of God and I can bring God to people' and all of that nonsense, which we can't actually do. We can only keep sharing. So at that moment and moments after that, if we keep falling for spiritual pride, then our life will be much worse off than how it started. I'm looking at Chanda again, because that is the Ravana mode. That is the Ravana mode. And every biblical story is about spiritual pride. So whichever culture, whichever tradition you look at, when we start feeling like 'I know something, I am better than my brother or sister in this world because, oh, they are chasing these worldly things, I am chasing God,' we should never fall into these things. We are still nothing but humble servants.

So we must remember that although in our reality we are abheda, that aspect of us which wants to claim the abheda-ness, you see, is the bheda. Getting what I'm saying? Some sense? It is difficult, I know. You are recognizing that you are abheda, non-distinct from God, you are that pure reality, absolute awareness. But even in this, you will find the ego like a worm over there which wants to be the claimant of that insight. And that, if it is allowed to perpetuate, then that becomes a very, very strong ego, bigger than the ego that was there before. And that is the spiritual ego. And that's why Ravana, who was a great sadhaka, great bhakta of Lord Shiva, then fell into the spiritual pride. And because his tapas, his sadhana was so much at one point, Lord Vishnu Himself had to come and take care of the operation that he was doing in this world. And whichever time in history, whichever culture, whichever continent, whichever aspect we've been in, God has always revealed Himself in some way to bless humanity and to prevent them from going too far into depravity, into evil, into all kinds of oppression. So remember that the Ram and Ravana story is not just history.

He fell into spiritual pride because his tapas, his sadhana, was so much at one point that Lord Vishnu himself had to come and take care of the operation that he was doing in this world. Whichever time in history, whichever culture, whichever continent, whichever aspect we've been in, God has always revealed himself in some way to bless humanity and to prevent them from going too far into depravity, into evil, into all kinds of oppression. So remember that the Ram and Ravan story is not just history—it is history, but also it is the possibility in our life. So as you embark on the spiritual life, know that the Atma aspect of you is unchanged. So whatever may happen, the outer aspect must always be kept as a bhakta, as a servant of God. Because the minute you start to take yourself to be something, you're contaminating your own spirituality. And the problem with pride is, you know what? We can't spot it for ourselves; only others around us can spot it because it has a sting which is palpable to everyone else. Just like our bad breath—we can't smell it, but others around us may tell us. Our pride is like that. So if pride gets a hold of you, then those are very dangerous territories for spiritual life, and that is the mind's trump card, actually.

So always consider yourselves to be a servant, be a foolish boy. Because if you were to really check—like if I was to really check—what do I actually know after being in spirituality for so many years, more than 25 years? What do I actually know? Everything useful that comes out of this mouth is what He puts there. Everything foolish that comes out of this mouth is when I become proud, and it happens every day. It happens every day. So my project at the moment is: how can I share satsang without any pretense? Like every day, that is the attempt—to just be as transparent an instrument of God's will. But I find that Ananta comes, you know, sometimes like, 'Sit down, keep going.' And I realize now at this age that it's going to be a lifetime project. And for most of us, maybe it's going to be a lifetime project to make sure that our pride doesn't contaminate the holiness of satsang, the holiness of sharing God's life. So to drop the mask, to drop the mask completely, to drop the pretense—this work that I'm working on right now is a work in progress.

And that work will be given to all of us when we come to God. It will be a natural inclination to share. Like, you find the greatest treasure that can help all your brothers and sisters, you want to share it with everyone. So that inclination will be there for all of you. But what happens is that when people start falling at your feet and people start calling you... I was in my 30s when people started calling me Father. And I know some of you were there, some of you started calling me Father. And somewhere, if you start getting used to being on a pedestal, you get used to people falling at your feet, people calling you Guru, people calling you Father, then you can build a new persona around that. And that is very dangerous for your own spiritual growth. You feel like you've made it, you see? You reached the top of the mountain. But with God, there is no 'made it.' There's always a deepening; there's always a new learning every day. So that openness, that freshness should always be there. Always be there in all of you, no matter what insight you come to.

I see that sometimes... I noticed somebody sends me... but I noticed that some of your brothers and sisters already fall into that trap after a very short time of being in satsang. They get into this kind of spiritual pride that 'I can do, I can do this, I should have disciples, I should have devotees.' Let that be as organic a process as possible and let that unfold gently, simply, every step. Especially in this territory where we fall into pride and we won't recognize it. People around us, the loved ones, may try to tell us, but you won't hear. You'll feel like everyone else is stupid, and it can happen to all of us. So like I've told all my children, if you find something like that happening here, please say it out openly in front of the sangha on the mic. Nothing to be scared of where it comes to being open and sharing in satsang. And hopefully God will give me the patience and the openness to hear even strong criticism. May it be so. But we must always have that approach as we progress.

I'm saying all of this to you because, you know, I don't know what can happen in a year. So it's very important to retain your humility and sense of servitude. That is for your own safety. What will God do with this foolish one? The whole universe is a firefly for Him. What is He going to do with these minute grains of servants? No use to Him. We can never be of any real use to Him, but our intention should always be to serve Him. It is for our own safety; it is for our own spiritual growth. So when you find your mind saying, 'Oh, but why should I be like this? I am That only. You only told me I am That only.' See, that is the ego who wants to claim that it is That. That is not That. That is still that tanmatra of the ego which is popping around. And if you allow it to reincarnate, then it can create ten heads for itself like Ravan. That is the purpose of that telling us in that way—that the spiritual ego is ten times stronger than the worldly ego. So never have pride about your spirituality. Let it make you more and more humble. Always have knowledge of pride and not pride of knowledge. It's very, very important. So in that way, I've given you a blueprint of our entire spiritual life. You can give him the mic, please.

Ji, we'll come to your question also. Like, I heard you sometime like this, I feel I see that I'm not able to do it, but I also see where I'm struggling. So this going inwards is for me very much dependent on where I am externally. Like if I'm in office, I just feel that I'm weak or something like that. Or if I'm with someone, I just feel that, okay, listening is more important than being with myself inside. Indirectly, I say that I don't still trust, I feel fearful going inside. So I want to believe, to at least notice this.

And it is an ever-deepening process. And am I always antarmukhi? No, my heart asks me many times every day. So it's an ever-deepening process, but you have to remind yourselves when the mind weighs the arguments and says, 'But now you have to focus on this thing,' you see? Can there be ever an exchange which is worthwhile where on one hand you exchange God for something else? Tell me one when it is a worthwhile thing to do. So don't just feel like, 'I'm being antarmukhi for peace or joy or even some outcome for myself.' We are being inner-facing because God lives there. If I told you... is there a particular aspect of God that you resonate with the most? So if I told you Jesus is sitting next to the library over there, then what will you exchange meeting him for? The most beautiful girl? The highest money possible? Biggest lottery ticket ever? Huh? What can tempt you away from the Lord?

To say nothing, but I can't say with...

Very good, very good, very good. But this we have to start then noticing because that's a lifetime project. Can I say tomorrow morning when I wake up I won't be deeply attached to some worldly thing? I can't guarantee. I cannot guarantee, in spite of so many years of just being focused on God's life. So all of that makes us humble. And I'd be very suspicious of someone saying, 'Now I'm a jivanmukti, I'm free from the clutches of Maya forever.' No one can say that. That sounds like you're just inviting Maya, actually. Like tomorrow you're going to be caught in something. It just sounds like that, you see? So only God is fully free from Maya. Maya is His creation. But all who are experiencing the human condition, who are experiencing this waking state, cannot claim to be fully free from Maya. So it's a lifetime project, and that calls for a lot of humility to recognize.

So here your grandfather is telling you, in a way. So your grandfather is telling you that he's still working on this very same project. And of course, because I have more gray hair, maybe there is a little more deepening that is here, but it's the same thing. So at least you recognize that your project is to be with God throughout, but you still fall for things in Maya. And that recognition itself helps you to go deeper. So as long as you endeavor to return, keep returning. There is no quick-fix solution in any of this, although true insight and true devotion can only be in this moment. It's completely quick and right now. The choice is for right now. And yet, when we look at the trajectory of life, we realize that those moments of insight help us deeper more and more. And yet it's an ever-deepening process. So both things again, which the mind can't understand: it's completely instant like this, but also a forever job.

So this moment you have the choice: God or me? God or me? Head or heart? That is the battleground. So the more you pick God, the stronger your heart temple is, the more defenses you have against Maya. The minute you start thinking you're doing well, you've broken down some of those; you've gone into pride. So it's a constant push-pull between these two force fields that seem to be playing in our life. Did you... were you ever a gamer? Were you a gamer? No? Okay. But suppose that you were, or some of your friends you must have seen or something where they got so addicted to the game they start valuing that game more than the reality. So that is a good metaphor to understand Maya. It's just like this dream appears, this game appears, and we can't even say that it is a recurring dream or a continuous dream because when a new dream also happens for us, we don't say, 'Oh, what a nice new place.' It seems like we've been there. Somebody comes and asks us our name in the dream, we say it is this one. They say, 'Where are you coming from?' Has anybody ever said in their dream that, 'No, no, I don't know where I'm coming from, my dream just started, give me some time'? Nobody has said so. Memory seems to function, we seem to experience a world, we seem to experience ourselves as somebody.

So we can't say that this is not that. We could be very well having the very same conversation in a dream, isn't it? Then you wake up and say, 'I had this conversation with Ananta.' So can we really say that this is not that dream? We can't really. So because we can't say really about the nature of whether this is tangible or not, we can only keep hoping to wake up out of this Maya, snap out of this game that we seem to be so deeply involved in and return to a true place. So my job is to wake up from the waking state, where we already seem awake, but there's an awakening that happens out of the waking state where you recognize your truth is deeper, it is somewhere else. So what to do when the mind grabs you? God knows best.

Yes, yes, but also you try and return with whatever you feel you have at your disposal.

Just you notice yourself. We notice like what happens: we want to pray all day, for example. We start the day saying, 'I'm going to start the day with God's presence.' I hope all of you are doing that. So start the day with God's presence because that gives you the vitamin for the day. Without that, it's very difficult. I'm speaking from my own experience. Like if you start the day in a worldly way, then being in God's presence throughout will seem very, very difficult. So use the waking moments to return to God before getting involved in some other drama of the world, you see? Start your day with God's presence, and then our intention is to remain with Him through our prayer, through our inquiry, through whatever spiritual method. So we remain like that. Then there'll be many times through the day—and I'm speaking from direct experience—that you just find yourself involved in the world. Something happened to the children, something... I'm speaking for my age, but something... and you feel like you're a man, you're in this world, you're in this life, you're there. The minute you notice that, just return to your true place.

And then our intention is to remain with Him through our prayer, through our inquiry, through whatever spiritual method. So we remain like that. Then there'll be many times through the day—and I'm speaking from direct experience—that you just find yourself involved in the world. Something happened to the children, something—I'm speaking for my age—but something, and you feel like, "Aman, you're in this world, you're in this life, you're there." The minute you notice that, just return to your true place. Use your prayer, return to your heart. And don't say, "Okay, now today I'm trapped in this, tomorrow we'll do again properly." No. When you notice, return. When you notice, return. That's how it will become natural more and more for you to live, and soon then your report will start changing. So you may say 98% mind now and 2% with God; that may become 95/5, it may become 90/10, 85/15, more and more. And keep asking God for help. Keep saying, "Please help me, God. Please help me, Father, with this. I notice my condition." Because what is that 98 actually? That 98 is a hellish life.

So Maya's attempt is to make hell seem like heaven, hell seem palatable. "Why do you want to live in God's life? I'll give you everything here. No, I'll give you physical pleasure, I will give you monetary success, I will give you material things. Why you want to search for God?" That is Maya's tune. So it tries to make this separation seem like it's fine. You see, when we are living in this separation from God, the mind comes with the attempt. The world appearances, when narrated by the mind, when believed in, they become Maya. So to put it simply, an antahkarana said Maya is "me-ya." So when you feel like you are "me," then you are in Maya. At that point, God is not seeming very real to you; He's seeming like a concept. So this "me," this "me" is trying to make this separation, this disconnection with God, seem like it is fine because "I have this now, I have this," you see? And that "this" starts losing its quality very soon, its joy very soon, and soon it becomes a problem. So that is—these are symptoms of hell.

So separation, anxiety, resentment, guilt, pride—all of these are not fruits of living in God's presence. They are fruits of selfishness, they are fruits of egotism. And that separation itself is—we don't need to be roasted on a fire—this separation from God is more than hell. For me to not be with the Beloved in the heart itself is hell. What other hell do we need? C.S. Lewis actually said something very beautiful. He said hell is not a place, but it is that something which is growing within you. If you allow it to grow so much, it'll take over your life. That separation, that individuality, that egotism, that ambition, that grasping—all of this, you see. So when we say "mostly with my mind," maybe we don't realize the severity of the issue then. And I want to, without scaring you too much, I want to tell you this: that don't be trapped for too long in this hell posing as heaven, because soon it'll be a wasted opportunity. Tulsidas Ji told us, could he be exaggerating? Like a great saint, there's no reason to lie to us or exaggerate. But do we take it seriously? Yes.

So my question is, sir, we do get opportunities, a lot of opportunities. And maybe it's a guidance from God. So do I have to take every opportunity? Is it worth it? Because I don't think so I have to take every opportunity which is coming on my way. I feel that because it does affect me or whatever it is, I don't know. But somehow I want to know the guidance. Like maybe He is testing me. "Okay, I have given you past few, you have done some mistakes, but still I'm giving you these opportunities again and again." So if you have not learned from your mistake, I'm again giving you. Maybe I'm not learning, I don't know why, but the same opportunities—or maybe anywhere, whether it is work, personal, or spiritually—opportunity is coming, but I'm not able to grab it. Maybe I'm not able to understand the guidance which He wants to give me. So help me with that.

Good question. So to recognize that there are two possibilities. One is that there could be a possibility of something being auspicious for us, good for us, which means that it helps in our deepening relationship with God. Or something being offered in the world, like the story of Narada or the story of Vishwamitra, you know, with Menaka and all of that, where there are opportunities to deepen in the separation from our relationship with God. Is it? So really the question would be how to distinguish between these two things, because both seem like opportunities, isn't it? Like that can seem like an opportunity—"Oh, I better grab this, otherwise this relationship is going"—or that which is holy can also seem like, "Ah, I found this beautiful pathway, I found this beautiful prayer, this beautiful bhajan, it can help me deepen. When I hear it, I feel so much in love with God." That's also an opportunity in a way.

So to use the word opportunity, I will first try and explain to everyone what is the meaning of good versus bad. Because opportunity means that which leads to further good. So good is that which comes from God, you see, and leads to God. Sometimes it will feel like an "or," but there's really no "or" over there. But for now it's okay. That which comes from God or leads to God is good. That which makes us take ourselves to be the false ego, the selfish identity, the "me," is bad, is inauspicious. So for a lot of us, it'll take a long time to get used to this switch-over of good and bad. Because in the world's conditioning, in school, in parenting, in society, we've heard different things, like "When opportunity knocks, you have to grab it." These things we are conditioned with. But from whatever little experience I have, I've noticed that only that which God has guided me to, which God has revealed for me in my life, that is good. And everything else has the potential to make me proud, selfish, take the unreal to be real.

So how will I distinguish whether this is good? Because every opportunity is sent by God only, maybe for my test or whatever, in every section of my life. So how will I distinguish?

Very good. So let's say that everything—of course, everything is sent by God alone. What is He testing you about? What could He be testing us about? Like, what could the test be like? You correctly recognized that many times things are tests, but what would the test be like? How would you pass or fail this test?

Don't know.

That's because then you can also apply the same construct and say even my passing or failing is sent by God. If we say that God does everything, then we can't look at anything as a test. But if you recognize that just like to our children, or as a parent I can say to my children, I give a lot of freedom. I don't force them to call me, I don't force them to stay with me, but also I have created a sort of boundary beyond which they cannot go too much further. Is it? And this is just a very provisional explanation. Actually, everything is God's will, and yet we have the choice moment to moment to pick Him or not pick Him. Although it is ultimately His will, it is also in His play that He is playing, that He has given this to His children. Like, what kind of love would it be if it was all force only? You see? So God doesn't want to experience that kind of forced love. If we love Him because "It's Your will only, anyway we have to love Him," then who gets joy from that kind of love?

So that is why both things are true: that everything happens, not a blade of grass moves without His will, and yet every moment we have to make the choice to pick the higher, pick His life, pick His presence, pick His love. And that, in my mind, is the only test. What are we doing with this particular moment? In that way, every moment is a test. So what will happen is that very rarely do we find ourselves in a point where we are willing to unlearn everything that we know, even about spirituality, and start completely fresh. Is it? Because our prior learning, our prior understanding, many times can be helpful also, but many times can just get in the way. So are we willing to return to the innocence of children to say, "Actually, I don't know how to find this Atma within myself. I have a lot of ideas about it, but I cannot testify to Atma, to Atman"? And with the innocence of a child, am I willing to turn towards Him?

And I don't know if you were there in the beginning of satsang, but this requires like a complete letting go of our intention, our will for our life, and to deeply surrender to God's will. Through what instrument do you recognize love? We can start with a simple contemplation like that sometimes. Because you may say it's a feeling, but I'm not talking about that love which is a feeling. And as a parent of two kids who are just teenagers, I can tell you that the feeling many times is irritation, frustration, anger with children. But if somebody was to ask me, "But you love your children?" I say, "Of course I love my children," even when the feeling would be anger. So that is the love I'm saying—unconditional love. Where is it recognized? With what instrument? It's not perceived. The feeling is perceived. The anger can be perceived. "Why don't they listen?" You see, like that. This kind of thought pattern can be perceived. But unconditional love is where? Because all of us can testify to having experienced this love. We may not be able to testify to Atma, to Atma, but everyone can say, "I have experienced an unconditional love at least one point in my life."

So then we can follow the perfume of that unconditional love to the source of that, which is Atma's presence within. Is it? You're getting a sense of what I'm saying? So that itself can be something that you can follow in. But for that, we can't apply this "It has to be only this and this." This is like the tantrum child who wants to be a plan, who says, "But I think, but I know." But it doesn't know about love. If it knew about love, then it could explain it. It doesn't know anything of value, actually. It doesn't know anything of devotion, it doesn't know anything of music. All that is beautiful in our life is known in the heart. But the unfortunate thing is, in this Maya game, most of us don't know our own heart. We think it is the romantic heart, or we think it's the emotional heart. So most people tell me, when I say this, many people initially say, "But I'm all heart, I'm not mind. People have always told me I'm all heart." But what they're saying is that "I'm fully emotional," is it? But the heart I'm speaking of is Godly. It is not emotional; it is intuitive, it is spiritual, it is your core.

So if you start looking for the source of unconditional love, you can come to the darshan of the Atma within as well. And once you learn to live in the light of the Atma, then whatever it guides you is good, whatever it doesn't guide you toward is not good. But I am so naive, I don't know—I cannot understand the guidance of God. Like even if He's trying to say something, I will be like foolish, I don't know what He's trying to do. All of us are like that. All of us are learning. I cannot testify in this life that I always follow His will. Many times I'm naive, I just quickly rush into solutions. One tip which may not sound very spiritual, but is very, very important, is that you have to slow down. Like especially when it comes to decision making, just in slow motion you will notice that there are two forces in you. I hope you can notice that. That the mind wants you to conclude, it wants you to rush. "Do this, do this, do like that, do say this, send this, talk like this, do all of that." That is that feverish sort of energy. If you allow that to pass, let every thought just come and go, you stay, is it? And then you will feel like something came from a different place. You've already felt it many times, all of us, that something came from a different place. It had a different texture. It was not grasping in its nature, it was loving in its nature, it was open, it was freedom, you see? It was blessing everything, it was making everything free. So wait for that to unfold. The mind will—

It is that, you know, feverish sort of energy. If you allow that to pass, let every thought just come and go, you stay as it is. And then you will feel like something came from a different place. You've already felt it many times, all of us, that something came from a different place. It had a different texture. It was not grasping in its nature; it was loving in its nature. It was open, it was freedom, you see. It was blessing everything; it was making everything free. So wait for that to unfold. The mind will bully you. It will say like this, your whole life will pass you by, all the opportunities will go. And that risk you have to feel, is it? Because the great sage said, 'No risk, no faith.' If you're not feeling like you're taking a risk by letting what the mind is claiming to be opportunities go and waiting for your deeper place to guide you, then you'll keep falling for the same things again and again. So in a way, this is the construct of the test. God is saying, 'Can you be patient to wait for my guidance?'

How do you want to get into the same loop again and again? Because I have taken risks because I got the opportunities. I've taken a risk also because I think that maybe that is His way for, you know, guiding me. And then He always ensured that I'm not falling into that trap or whatever it is. So He always saved me. That's how I know that He loves me somewhere down the line. He's taking care of it. But still, because it's not my—I don't think so it's a mistake—but whatever He's sending, I'm very judgmental about it. What should I do in that case? But I'll take a risk, just like you said, risk and trust. So I risk it and I have a trust on Him, and He ensured that this is not the right opportunity for me, so He just cancels it immediately. So now I'm tired of it.

I want to share with you one thing, and I'm not at all trying to be harsh and you may get upset with me because I've shared this, but I beg your forgiveness and I don't mean to upset you at all. But many times what happens is that in our mind itself, we've created two categories. One is the worldly category: 'How do I have this thing?' One is the trusting God, risk-taking for God category. But both are still in the mind. We need to dedicate ourselves to finding that deeper place. That's why I'm giving this pointer: that try to find the source of your love. It comes from within you. That love comes from within you. That love you can be sure is not coming from your mind. Unconditional love, okay? All conditional love comes from the mind, but unconditional love is coming from your heart, from that deeper place. Invest as much time as you can to finding that source. Then you will find the true distinction between your mind's guidance and the heart's guidance. The mind is a great texture; it will make the spiritual pose also and will make the worldly pose also, you see. So in our mind itself, we categorize our spirituality and our worldly nature, but our true spirituality is at a deeper place, at an intuitive place, at the heart, you see. So our endeavor must be to try and find that. And God is very loving, like you yourself said. He loves you deeply. He loves everyone deeply. He will bless you if that is your intention to find Him. He will keep blessing your path, you see. So see if you can recognize what I'm saying about the two aspects of the mind itself versus that which we just know somewhere deeper.

Since nobody is asking any question, I want to know how can I be a favorite of God?

How you are! He is so loving, everyone feels like His favorite, huh? He's so loving because, you know, my daughter just reminded me of a story. So my daughter, when she was young, like maybe ten years back, she came, took my phone, and changed her name from Ria to 'My Favorite Child.' So this is His love. Now, love for us makes it feel like—and it's so beautiful—that seven billion of us or more, when we turn to Him, He's always there for us. He's always loving us. He's always saving us from trouble. Like you said, we get into all kinds of things, but He pulls us out. So He's always been faithful, He's always been very loving, and it feels like for Him only we are there. That's why we feel like favorites, because for Him, time doesn't work the way time works for us. For us, we have to pick favorites because we have the limitation of time in a worldly way. He's got infinite time, so He can intervene in a very different way. But it's very good. You are fully loved by God. Fully loved by God. Good. I'm happy to answer any other doubts.

As a seeker, during the meditation, during the prayer, with the Guru presence also, there will be beautiful peace, silence. But during the all-day activities, it is missing. So how to bring that?

Yeah, what will happen is that your prayer life, if you're using every opportunity when you're not caught up in worldly things—not fully caught up, then we can't do anything when you're fully caught up anyway—but when we are halfway caught up, if you turn. Sometimes it seems difficult. The mind says, 'Have some fun, do some fun stuff,' but we turn towards God instead in a simple way. We may put on a bhajan instead. So when we are stuck halfway, if we turn back, then a lot of it starts coming into God's view. The more of our life we pull into our heart, the more starts coming in. Like I was saying, there's no instant solution to the things. Maya will still grab us. Maya still grabs me, you see. So we just have to keep your intention to be like that; it is very important, you see. Your intention to be with God is very important. So when you forget, just gently return. Don't be too judgmental about yourself. Don't be too harsh also with yourself, you see. To recognize that we are foolish beggars, servants of God, is actually very freeing. We may not hear it that way yet initially, but it is not harsh on ourselves at all. It is just a recognition that I get so caught up in Maya all the time, you see. Your mercy, Your grace is needed to help me. So like that, keep praying for His grace. Keep praying. It'll happen. How long have you been praying?

Yeah, so you find it just keeping. Anyone practices the inquiry. Another report, I say the word almost like the whole day I try. It's not for like—I'm not like this, I am to like—I'm like this. It's not humanly possible. I can't be in remembrance of God all the time. He will never—I'll never be able to meet Him. I'm doing it just for the sake of because he has said.

So let's really look at this. It's a very important topic. You say that to start your very day with God's name, God's remembrance, the mind resists that. Firstly, that itself is a clue that if the mind resists something, there must be some danger to its supremacy in that. Now you say that this is too much, basically this is too much. But how much is enough? Do we know? And suppose that he says, 'No, no, but I just want a normal human life.' What is the outcome of a normal human life? It's not like it's too much, then what is the outcome of a normal? It's only very unstable, very tiring, very full of—like there's no peace, there's so—there are places where I like.

So if that is normal human life, why you want it so much? I don't want to, I don't want to. But you saying that because the mind says this way, you fall for it. I fall, huh.

So now don't fall after this. Somewhere you have to take the decision. You have to recognize the usual trappings of the mind, usual temptation, the trump cards of the mind and say, 'Ah, move on.' So sometimes I said to them that many years back I started sharing satsang. So in one satsang it came like this: that when you notice it and you know this is asking for trouble, then just say, 'Over here, not don't stop with me.' Then these kids, Bhakti and Ananda, said that in Karnataka and Bangalore they say 'Right-u, Right-u.' 'Right-u' is like 'Don't stop with me.' So just have that approach with the mind. It offers to recognize is God's grace. That grace takes us deeper. So every day things reveal themselves to us. We don't realize what conditioning we still have. Like every day, the conditioning of this life is revealing itself to me also, where pride can get stuck, where things can happen. So it's very good if you're recognizing this, that the mind stops you from such a simple holy guidance: start your day with God. And it knows it is trouble there for Maya. So he said, 'No, no, so you lose all semblance of a normal life.' Does that sound scary? If you lose all semblance of a normal life, is that like that?

Yeah, but is that from within, like your own self-image, or is that—okay, now I'm talking like a psychotherapist to a psychotherapist—but is that from external sources what you're more concerned? Don't I have this? This is what is the worst-case scenario for that under city, like if you were a beggar on the street, this chanting God's name, huh? Yeah, I'm seeing these things, Father. I'm told to leave my profession, like stop practicing psychiatry or something that like it's a—

So God came to you one day in your prayer and said, 'My child, stop practicing psychiatry'? What did He? I'm not saying He's saying that. Nobody's asking. If you're helping people in that way to become peaceful, it is nothing wrong with that work. I'm just saying, for example, if you said that, 'No, but suppose He dropped the whole thing.' Yeah, there's some fear around that. That's good. That's exactly what my exercise was: to identify what are the boundaries of our faith. That we say, 'My life is for my Guru, my life is for God.' What if God was to say, 'What is the second option? Can I use a lifeline?' like that. Easy, easy. So we have to identify those areas and say, 'This is the part where I'm not able to surrender,' you see. And the thing is, everybody else's will feel like bubbles, but ours seem like the biggest to us. So we should never look down upon what another is not able to surrender. So very good. First it has to come into our attention, then it can be chopped. If it remains hidden, it can't be chopped. So many times after coming to satsang, so much comes up. So you feel like many times it comes like that. Why does it function like that? Because unless it comes into our view, then we can't surrender it or inquire it away. So identify for yourself that our lips say our life is for Guru and God, right? But what is our—do we have the courage? Do we have the—are we feeling like we have the power to live like that? That is how we'll keep deepening.

I feel I don't have individually that strength.

That you don't have, that's for help. It has to come from God. But we have to make sure that we don't hide, like we don't hide from ourselves, get into any self-denial and mental sense-making. Just keep giving that to God, saying, 'I'm so weak, give me strength.' Is the opposite of that's the—and God is there to help you. Why will we go our way? We did not know that God can help us in that way. So it's fine, we lived a particular life. Now we know. That's why I said now you're in trouble because you're in satsang. This trouble is the holy trouble, is the auspicious trouble. Because if you can transform your life, sometimes I say it's like a rewriting of the operating system. It's a full different transformation of the way of life where you're living from a different center, which is in your heart rather than the head. And there you start to recognize how much oppression you were in constantly. We are in a mind slavery right now, but that seems comfortable because that is habit and also because all our brothers and sisters in the world are living like that. But I'm sure you're getting the sense: when I'm oppressed by this mind, it is oppression. Yes, because I remember those times and they sound terrible because mind would say like, 'I am growing, I am getting better.' Just mental pressure, mental slavery all the time. We can't breathe freely, we can't love freely, we can't be openhearted. We measure everything about what's in it for me. Is that a human life? That's a goat's life. Not the 'GOAT' as in the 'Greatest Of All Time.' Yes, I feel I love and they love me so much, but I stop there. Like I feel something and then I take—so that you get a like a flavor, like a sense of it.

It's terrible because the mind would say like, 'I am growing, I am getting better.' Just mental pressure, mental slavery all the time. We can't breathe freely, we can't love freely, we can't be openhearted. We measure everything about what's in it for me. Is that a human life? That's a goat's life. Not the 'greatest of all time' goat.

Yes, I feel I love and they love me so much, but I stop there. Like, I feel something and then I take so that you get a flavor, like a sense of it, and you feel like, 'Okay, that's for stop that' or that's—

I'm telling you, that is an invitation. The door is opening for you and you're saying bye-bye. Don't look at the appearance of that bhava as a culmination; look at it as an invitation. So I was telling her to follow the perfume of that love. So it's coming there, you have to follow it very... So firstly, it's beautiful Grace that God is giving us, that Ram is giving us that. Firstly, we must not think that it's something we did. And one says so, in His mercy He is blessing you. So use that to dive in deeper. Where is it coming from? What else is there?

Impatience—if your project is to pray all the time, then all these things will go. But if you say, 'I want to become more patient, I want to become humble, I want to...' all these things we must become, but in our prayer life we learn all of these. So start the day every day with coming to God's presence. Your mind will fight it the most. That which brings us closest to God, it will fight the most. Remember that. It will say, 'No, no,' it will throw some stone over there so you start following in that direction, you start going in that direction. See? So your mind is designed to be the lawyer, the narrator of Maya. It is the narrator of all of this. You know, all these appearances, these perceptions are going on in front of us. Without this narrative voice in the head, there is never any egotism. So we must leave this narrator, but we trust the narration more than the movie.

Getting obsession... you psychoanalyze yourself, kind of keep listening. That's a human condition, my child. All of us have the same obsession. It manifests in different ways, of course, as you know, but the root problem is the same.

How are you finding Bangalore?

Good. And I don't think I'm finding it good.

You're not finding it good?

No, when I don't think, I'm finding it very nice. And that way everything is good.

Are you thinking about not thinking? I feel you're thinking about not thinking. Then you think about thinking about not thinking. That's a recursive loop; it can keep going. Drop it. Snap out. Because there's no mental way to come to the end of the mind. You just wake yourself up and use your prayer in that way also. Then what is more important that the mind can say, as opposed to the name of the Lord? So the highest you can do is to remember, focus on Ram. There's no higher work you can do. So use your mantra in that way, use your chanting in that way. There's the time for the mind then.

See, sometimes children write to me and they say, 'You know, this happened, then I thought like this and this, then I went into that.' And I say, 'Are you praying all the time?' 'Yes, Father.' But both can't be true. If you went on those mental adventures, then you're obviously not praying all the time. So what I'm trying to say is not to make you feel guilty, but to remind you to pray. Do you recognize that it's very holy? Yeah, the Lord's name. It doesn't matter in which form it came. Never have I ever said that the prayer has to be the best because it came from here; it's probably the worst. I'm saying that just in one Ram, because you said you love Ram, in one Ram, what is the holiness? The mind will not understand these things, but your one sincere calling out to Bhagavan, to Ram, can transform your whole life. So remember that what you have is a very important tool. Don't devalue what you have. Like you have a Mercedes, but don't think of it as an auto-rickshaw. If you have a Mercedes, don't think of it as an auto-rickshaw.

We don't realize what we are singing or what we are resisting. It is beyond the holiness of all creation is the name of the Lord. The greatest sages, the greatest ones have said that Ram's name has blessed them with the highest. That same gift has been given to us. Imagine, Meera Bai said, 'Payoji maine Ram ratan dhan payo.' Even she said so. You are attracted to His name in this way; you have the greatest with you, the greatest treasure. It will start revealing itself more and more. The more you feel like, 'I'm only doing it because my teacher told me, I don't really feel it,' then you're missing the essence of it. Ram is the name for the light of the Atma, that presence of God itself. It's not an exam, just be open with me. Good, just keep at it. Maybe every child is free to throw a tantrum with their Father. So basically, indirectly I'm saying I'm very proud of you to bring even one to God's path, to their life. Very, very happy. But my expression, that praising, is very old school.

So is the task at hand clear for all of you? Because you can't leave till it is. What is this life for? What is that intention you have to carry in your heart? And what are the tools at your disposal by your teacher's Grace, by God's Grace actually? And what kind of application, which is basically all the time, it requires? Is it clear? Or is there any flexibility in this? 100%. Because when we, like I said, when we attempt to do 100%, then a little bit happens. Not even 50%, but a little bit happens. So if we say that I'm going to balance it and do all of that, then nothing will happen. Then this whole life will get wasted. Can you push your chair back? You can stretch out. No, no, it's fine. I can stretch like this. I'm not that old. Okay, yeah, good. Thank you.

Even if there's a doubt, it seems very silly and you don't want to expose it, just say it. Because that smallest thing can sometimes block us. Like the smallest speck of dust in the eye can block our whole vision. So anything is coming up for you where you feel some block, something, just ask. It's okay. Give the mic.

So Father, the last time I spoke to you, you told me this: to start the day, start the day until I feel a love for God and only then go into the task. Sorry, Father, because I want to hear every word you're saying. So you said that I guided you to start your day with a love for God, to pray until I am able to feel the love for God and only then get into the task. And you asked me if I feel a risk with this, and I did feel a risk. And so to be very honest with you, Father, I've had more failures than successes. Some days I do, I'm able to do this, but—

Is it a failure of your intention or is it a failure of the outcome? Like you try but the love is not felt, or you don't try at all?

I don't try at all. That is what happened. So I want to expose what's going on in that process, Father. So there's a very clear... it's very clear to me the days I do do this, it's a very different day than the days when I don't try. But then slowly, slowly what's been happening is that the day I do feel, like when I do feel the love for God, then I don't want to stop. But then—

You don't want to stop what? Stop praying?

Yes. Why should you want to stop praying?

So when I'm transitioning from... so I sit without doing anything with the mala and I pray, but when I have to start a task, there's a break.

Allow the task to unfold within your prayer. How to do that?

So that's what I was... I was getting a sense that you're saying that there's a mode which is love for God, which is prayer, and then you have to get into like the worldly mode.

You never have to get into worldly mode. The worldly things will happen within Godly mode. Okay, Father. You can ask me more, don't worry.

So you started your day with prayer initially. Suppose you felt disconnected from God, but you prayed enough with devotion and you started feeling His love, His presence. Now don't transition out of this. The whole point of the exercise is to keep you there throughout the day. Not that the flower has bloomed and then fragrance is there the rest of the day, but you have to stay with the flower—sorry for the bad metaphor—but you have to stay with the flower throughout the day. So stay like that and stay with your prayer. Then the task will come. Like give me an example of a task.

I have to cook, for example.

Very easy. Don't kill me! Not very easy in the sense of the process of cooking, but the remaining with the prayer is not so difficult in the process of cooking. The cooking can keep happening, but you can keep praying. You can keep doing the ideas, you know, and the cooking can happen. Then what is the next task you feel like it can't happen?

So it's probably a mental thing, Father. So then that requires me to get off of wherever I'm sitting, leave the mala aside and then do something.

You want to... want to share something about that? She had a bit of a struggle with this one. You would be asking because I should not be answering any question about cooking as it is.

First of all, I'm the worst one here with ads, okay? So this is not the right one to ask. But what I do is I just say it aloud. I wake up and I have to cook for my kids to go to school and there's lots going on in the morning. So I have found it easy to just verbally say it. And because that doesn't hinder, you know, like the physical activity. And many times I have two kids and in-laws and everything, so when that's happening... like my ads is Krishna, so I would just sometimes call Krishna inside just, you know, because I'm not able to say it even inwards or outwards, it's a lot happening outside. So just calling Krishna once, it reminds me of God or whatever. Like that's how I'm doing this right now. And I've seen... it was really tough. I had almost a trauma with it, it was that tough in my mind or whatever conditions I have. But I can see how much the mind fights it. Like now I can see how much it's fighting and why it's fighting so much. And it can feel like it's happening to me and I know, but it's not true like that. I still have struggles, but I would really encourage you to just try. You know, whatever way it comes, just maybe verbally, vocally would help. Just saying it on your lips, you know, that helps the whole thing. It might take time, you know, it might take time for the whole thing to settle, but stick to it is what I say.

Yes, the intention has to be... thank you. The intention is not to transition out at any point. The intention is only to deepen more and more and more and more and more to the extent that if you pray all day, then you will find yourself praying. Like you will feel like the prayer didn't stop, and in sleep also it will come so much natural to you. So just keep it like a constant thing. That is why these words are so important: unceasing prayer, undivided prayer. So you have to take them very literally, very, very literally. And then the question can come that how is it possible in this human life to have unceasing prayer? It's a very important question to ask. But if you sincerely ask this question, then the answers reveal themselves.

So what happens now? Suppose you're cooking, then you can see your full prayer. I don't feel like you can just say, 'Lord, incarnation of God, bless my heart, bless my heart, Atma,' whatever your prayer is. So that can go on. Then suppose that it's a task where a lot of interaction is needed. You're talking to... you're in a meeting and a lot of things are happening. Then you're just focused on that task and it seems like there is really no space in that to do the full prayer. You can do your arrow mantra at the end, the repetition of the Lord's name seven times. You can do that once every few minutes. Or if you can do it constantly, like some find it very easy to just do Ram or Jesus, Jesus, that can go on even in the midst of other activity. And if even that much space is not there, attention is fully taken by—

If you're in a meeting and a lot of things are happening, then you just focus on that task and it seems like there is really no space in that to do the full prayer. You can do your arrow Mantra at the end, the repetition of the Lord's name seven times. You can do that once every few minutes, or if you can do it constantly—like some find it very easy to just do Ram or Jesus, Jesus—that can go on even in the midst of other activity. And if even that much space is not there, and attention is fully taken by the task of the world, then just remind yourself every few seconds, a few minutes, whatever the maximum you can do.

A lot of difficulty happened in the past because I kept saying that we must put the maximum possible, not the minimum possible, you see? So then sometimes we can feel like, 'But why isn't just chanting the name of the Lord enough? Why do you have to do the full prayer?' It is because we have to extend ourselves to the maximum possible for God, not the minimum tick-in-the-box possible. That is very important. God knows your struggle. You see, God knows your struggle.

I often take this example, and they are tired of hearing this, that if my son had a free day—he used to live overseas for some time—but if he was free and he was just watching TV and he called me and he said, 'Love you, Pa. You know, I was missing you, so I called you. I love you, Pa,' I would say, 'What are you doing?' like that. But if he said, 'I'm having a very busy day at work, I'm just running from meeting to meeting, but suddenly I remembered you and I called you and I love you, Pa,' then the heart will melt. So in the same way for our Divine Father also, He knows our struggle. If we are really struggling and things are happening but we turn to Him, He knows. If this worldly father can know, then you know He knows. So our job is the maximum possible for God. Don't be towards the minimum; be towards the maximum, because the mind wants to do the tick-in-the-box. But even then, it's okay. They are speaking from a different context always. The feeling in the heart should be to give the highest to God, and then the world will take care of itself, not the other way around—that I'm going to be involved in the world and give little lip service to God. You're getting a sense of it? So make your life an unceasing prayer to God.

Yes, I want to confess, Father, that when you mentioned it's funny... when you mentioned that if Siddharth Malhotra... I mean, I didn't think about that, sorry. Now the cat's out of the bag. And I asked the question of whether Siddharth Malhotra came as an exchange for God. I forgot. If it was the other way, it would not be so easily forgiven. Sorry.

If he was talking about the deeper essence, let's get at that. That's important. So you're saying that if life makes a kind of offer like that, where suddenly something happened and actually the most good-looking, the smartest, the most caring, the most intelligent human came in front of us as a possibility, as a life partner or something like that, versus... but you're not feeling Godly about it. You're not feeling an auspiciousness in your heart about it. So it's just purely, you know, for grasping for worldly reasons. Then do we have the strength to stay with God in those times? That's the question.

Yes. And first I thought that, okay, I won't be led by it and I want to be dedicated to this project. But I realize, no, I can be sweet and... I felt it's a very prideful thing to say that I won't be. And yeah, in that situation I would want to stay with God, but I know... to be strong, yeah, from temptation. Recently, I had gone back home and, you know, I was always wanting to have a good, happy family, which was never happening. And it all of a sudden was happening. And I told Ma that it's feeling good here, you know, no reason to come back in a way. And but thanks to Ma, of course, I came back. But then I realized, oh, I can't be confident about... I was overconfident about any situation.

Very good, very good to notice that. We've been reading the Ramacharitmanas, and in that, Tulsidas Ji mentions about satsang versus kusang. Kusang is bad company, but bad company is not necessarily outside; it's what we indulge in for ourselves within that then grows. So the company that we keep outwardly and inwardly, that grows in our life. But inwardly is even more important. It doesn't mean that we have license to keep all bad company outside, but if we are getting into attachments, if we're getting into temptation, if we're getting into thoughts of separation, of pride, of all kinds of things like this, then that keeps us stringing along. Then once you're back to satsang, then you find yourself in a different space and then you feel like that is growing, that is getting better.

But we should never say that 'I am over Maya.' That is like literally famous last words. Anyone who says 'I'm over Maya' is just like asking for trouble because Maya is Mahamaya; it is a creation of God Himself. It's not something to be trivialized. That's why even Kabir Ji said, 'Maya mahatagini hum jani.' Mahatagini is the greatest artist. So we must never feel like little old foolish ones like us can get over Maya. So we always have to request His love, His presence, His grace to remain empty of Maya. I love the way she very innocently talks about it. A clean heart. I'm trying to save you from his explanation. Like, see, as much as you want to clear up, but the sweetest was when she is openly saying, 'I forgot, I forgot.' Yeah, that means it's a good satsang. She's remembering only God and what is blocking her way to God.

So I'm giving all the excuses. See, thank you for introducing Jesus Christ to my life. I'm so, so, so grateful. I always wanted to write to you on Zoom, but I was like, I want to tell you in person. Thank you.

So all of you, I also want to mention that you must never create any differences between all seekers of God, all lovers of God. It's all one religion, actually. We should get rid of these conceptual ideas because the stupidity is at absurd levels. Who's a Hindu and who's a Muslim and who's a Christian? Based on what? How is it? It's absurd. If I say Atma, I'm a Hindu. If my brother says Holy Spirit, he's a Christian. And we are different because my Atma is different from his Holy Spirit? It's all silliness. Just because these things had different origins and at those times distances were different, the world context was different. And ultimately it's all pride. How come the family, the religion that we follow and we are born into is always the best? All pride.

So we must value, we must respect all our brothers and sisters. And if I had my way, which I have no such power, but I would get rid of these boundaries and these things. Every pathway to God is the same God. Whether we say Bhagavan or Allah or Jesus or God, it doesn't matter. There's too much hatred for reasons of politics and power in the world today. You must not fall for that at all. And I know that all of you come to satsang, so I'm pretty sure that you're not falling for it, but it's important to make this point. Look at the root of it. The same holy presence is in all our hearts. So will we say one who is praying to that holy presence with a different name then is not my brother, is not my sister? In fact, to the extent that we are willing to harm them, to kill them, that is pure absurdity.

So all those who are in service to God, we have to divide in religion and say, 'Oh, we can only follow this one, we can't follow that one.' I don't feel like there's any difference between Ram, Krishna, Jesus. I don't feel like there's any difference between God and Allah. The words are different, that's all. How come? This is one of the things about Maya, is that this kind of problem just never goes away. We love to divide ourselves. But in His will, everything can happen. So we just have to pray for... even though it sounds utopian, that may all brothers and sisters live in love and His light. And the more educated we are becoming, the more technology we have, the worse we are becoming because everyone has a platform to spread hatred. So whatever little we can all do, we must explain to our families, explain, because it's infested even very educated people in our families and you know all of that. So whatever little chance I get, I try to share my thought about this, my feeling about this. We must also, little by little, then it makes a difference.

Isn't it bad enough—sorry, if I start on this topic then I keep ranting—but isn't it bad enough that brothers and sisters are willing to kill each other because we have drawn some stupid lines on a map? That is not bad enough? We also now want to find ways to kill each other for all of these things in the name, just for the difference in the name of God and the method, the pathway to God. The silliest. And look at words, the most absurd thing they do. Lines. Sometimes the line goes in the middle of the village. You know, one village. If you see the map of Africa, you can see that on a table some people have sat and made these lines because they are straight lines, without any care for which families are being divided, which villages are being divided. In this way, they've just divided the spoils of war in this way and created so much division in the hearts of brothers and sisters for each other. This is not hell, then what is it? So be the light of love for everyone that you meet. Spread love, spread light.

On that note, I feel very happy every time she comes back because this Goa is... there's a lot more emphasis on the 'go' and very little emphasis on the 'a'. I wanted to ask you, how is the 'a' part this time? I know it feels for everyone, okay, let's go to Matthew for a moment. And I have to rush home, my daughter was calling. Hello, hello. It's been a while. Are you able to go up? You know, you hear me? Can everyone hear him better? Closer, maybe? Yes.

This is... yeah, but just been a while, you know. And like coming up and saying love, you know. Like some of the things really kind of resonated as well deeply in my heart as I was listening. Yeah, you know, just it's amazing. Somehow this last couple of days has been such strong fire, you know, like a lot of inner movement. And I feel like on some level I see it's Grace, you know. And in some moments there is such clarity, you know, that there is just this untouched space. And some other times it's just the sense of being so totally kind of in Maya with it, you know, gripped by Maya. And so sometimes this kind of really the spiritual identity can come, no? And judging and feeling not good enough and all these things.

How is it now after satsang? How is it?

Much better, yeah. Yeah, I like how you were saying not to keep on... just somehow also we have to keep on just making this choice, no? Yeah. And as challenging as it can feel sometimes.

Exactly, exactly. I feel like also the sense of it's been when something comes so strongly that there's some urge to want to avoid feeling these things, no? And to sit with these things sometimes, I feel like, is the challenge. But yeah.

Very good, because I'm glad you brought this up. In a way, this has been the whole topic of the satsang today and how Maya pulls us back into spiritual identity or like a worldly identity, and how we have to make the choice to return to our heart, especially when it seems so difficult. We can check whether... I haven't really shared about this too much recently, but it came in satsang today that we can just check for ourselves: is a hand feeling more real than God? Because a hand is always there. So we can just check, is our hand feeling more real than God right now? And if it is, then we have to turn deeper inwards. Then this whole waking state and its appearances don't seem that tangible; they seem like light and feathery. Then they seem so-called... just turn deeply into your heart. So the hand is a good example because it's just in front of us all. Yeah, on some level it's what you speak.

We can just check for ourselves: Is a hand feeling more real than God? Because a hand is always there, so we can just check, is our hand feeling more real than God right now? And if it is, then we have to turn deeper inwards. Then this whole waking state and its appearances don't seem that tangible; they seem like light and feathery. Then they seem so real. Just turn deeply into your heart. So the hand is a good example because it's just in front of us all.

Yeah, on some level it's what you speak, like how every Master says to really be free of attachments to worldly things, you know, or even spiritual things, no? And on some level, it still appears quite challenging and difficult.

Yeah, challenging. It is challenging for me also many times. I'm not liking the way I say 'me also' as if it's some big thing that I have to work on my expression a bit, but it happens to all of us. Thank you. Love you all. Love you, love you. We'll make up for this Friday.

Actually, have we all noticed that? I hope you noticed that it doesn't matter whose question is being answered, that God makes it so that He brings in front of us that which we need in that moment if we truly turn towards Him. Some children I'm seeing after a long time. I'm very happy, very happy to see you back here.