The Heart Temple Must Be Your New Home - 7th February 2024

So in this way, learn to embrace the "I don't know." It's a very important step. If you already know everything, then you won't grow. If you already know, "I know this, this is how this is, I read somewhere this one said," this great sage said you could fill your head up with the great sayings of all the sages, but if you don't apply them, if you don't learn to live like them, then that doesn't help. So use them as pointers for yourself rather than as swords to attack the other. We were joking about Advaita arguments last time.

Sometimes, I don't know, yeah, but I'm rushed by other people. What to do then? You know, you have to give them an answer. They need the answer now.

Yeah, so this is a fun situation in the sense this happens all the time with the Sangha. This one says, "Should we do this? Can we do like this?" And I have no idea usually, you know. So I'm just like, "What do you feel?" And if the situation is really urgent, like a decision has to be made, "Should we have a pizza party after satsang tomorrow?" You see, like, I don't know. And so what do I usually do? I usually say, "Whatever you feel, I'm happy to go with whatever they feel." And of course, I'm sure you're asking about more serious-sounding questions than that. So if it is truly urgent and "I don't know" is not an acceptable answer, then my approach—and I'm deepening in that approach more and more—is that I'm in service to you. Whatever you feel, I'll follow. It seems very crushing to the ego initially, but once you get used to it, you see there's great freedom in that. Great freedom in that because if we're going to decide from our mind and we're going to be rushed into that, then that is going to only make things worse. So if you don't truly have an answer in your heart, just say, "If you're clear, my dear, if you're clear, I'll follow whatever you say." That's tough because servitude to God also means servitude to our brothers and sisters in the world.

The good thing about that is also that if your intention is truly that you want to follow God and the guidance is not clear to you, so in service to God you decided to follow a brother or sister, then God is aware of your intention and he'll take care of things. Okay, you just answered. I was thinking about sometimes you are hurting somebody by not giving them an answer. You're hurting them or you're feeling hurt, maybe both.

Both. If they seem open to you, you could say, "I don't know, and I'm waiting for God's guidance to guide me, but I trust that you are following your heart. So if your heart is clear about this, I'm happy to follow." Yeah, the mic first, then we go to whether they come from the head or heart, we follow them after we see.

Yes, we can encourage them to follow their heart. And if it is not clear and it's truly urgent—you need to book tickets for tomorrow, it's already 10 p.m. at night and you don't know—then just trust. It's okay, whether it's the head or heart, because how will you can tell sometimes? Yes, but usually what happens is we end up using our head to determine whether it is the head or heart. So unless your heart just says "stop," then that means you're being guided. Then it doesn't mean that you don't know; it means that your heart is saying stop or don't. If you actually don't know and you're just empty, then you're truly neutral and this world is playing in this way, so it doesn't matter so much in the dream if you go left or right. So just follow a brother, it's okay. And if you said that if we feel like they're not coming from the head, then if you feel in your heart that the guidance that they offering is not auspicious, then you're being guided by your heart. Then you must follow that.

Like you were saying, whatever the triggers are happening or the blind spots are being pushed, some situations are arising. So here it's going, the attention is going inside here. What is happening here rather than like first time, how it is projected outside. Attention is going to which sensations? No, it's not going to sensation, but what's happening here in the heart or in the mind. Like it's seen that, okay, what can happen in the heart? I feel that trigger is here, it was not outside.

Ah, trigger meaning... trigger means that either I'm attached or there's an attachment surfacing or there's like all kind of vasanas in the heart. Not in the heart, like in the mind. Leave the mind. But that's how it is coming up, like it's still mind. In the mind it's coming up, but strong sensations of feelings are there.

Slow down, don't worry. So something is happening outside, then you're saying that my attention, instead of getting into those things, it is going on the inside. Then first it is going to the mind which is saying something, there's some resistance, all of that. Then I'm saying leave that. And then it is coming to the heart, like I'm not even trying, automatically it's coming down and there's something I can't even describe that. And those things inside, whatever, it's boiling and stories are happening.

In the heart something is boiling?

No, not in the heart. The head. The head is boiling, yeah. And like, you know, there's body sensations also happening. Body is constricted, it is feeling uncomfortable and it's screaming like, you know, just say something, do something. The mind is saying there, which says, "Say something, do something." The story is coming along and then next and next and next, it's going too far also. But in action, it is not happening. So the prayer was more like this: this is the God that's like showing here that the world is here inside. They are just being thankful to show me that everything is here because here everything was disturbed, it was mind.

So that is also not where the world is. Sorry, I know you look very disappointed. Sorry. So we feel like the world was there. You're right, it's not there. And we feel like, "Oh, the world is just a projection of what is there inside," but I don't want you to get stuck in all of that because soon you'll start saying, "What is here that is causing that projection to appear in the world?" which is very popular as you know. So we have to stop doing that. So don't worry about that. So don't throw away that idea of the negative of the movie is playing on the inside and then the light of Consciousness shines on that negative and projects the world outside. Just don't bother with even that. What is deeper than that also? So it's all seen. That is also seen. That is also seen. Now between the feeling, emotion, commentary of the mind, interpretation, and coming to that which is the ultimate witness of all of this, you see there's a resting refuge, there's a resting place which we are calling the heart. Why is it a true refuge? Because it is God's presence. So what is the most primordial vibration, the primordial sense that is witnessed? What is that? And we call that the feelingless feeling or the perceptionless perception. Why?

That is also seen. That is also seen. Now, between the feeling, emotion, commentary of the mind, interpretation, and coming to that which is the ultimate witness of all of this, you see, there's a resting refuge. There's a resting place which we are calling the heart. Why is it a true refuge? Because it is God's presence. So, what is the most primordial vibration, the primordial sense that is witnessed? What is that? And we call that the feelingless feeling or the perceptionless perception. Why do we call it like that? If it's a feeling, we can just call it a feeling. Is it a feeling? No, it's not just a feeling. It has the perfume of the primordial vibration which may be understood by the mind as a feeling, but is much more subtle than that. So, follow that perfume. Follow that back home to your refuge. There you live in God's temple, in God's presence.

After the 'M' is all trouble only. Okay, I should explain that and just throw that. So, whether we say 'I am' or we say 'Om,' which is the same thing, in either case, after the 'M,' if you are involved in anything, it is trouble. So stay within the... stay with the A-U, but don't go to what comes after M. First time I'm finding this mouth saying this, and I haven't heard this also anywhere, but hopefully there's something there. Don't involve yourself in anything after 'M' is done. Stay in that vibrational sense, which is actually beyond vibration. So if it is 'I am,' then stay between the 'A' and 'M.' Don't get involved in anything after 'I am.' 'I am this,' 'I am that,' 'I am feeling this,' 'I am thinking this,' 'I am experiencing this and watching this'—nothing. Build your house between A and M, or O-M. How to say? I don't know if it's helpful.

You can sense the sense of being, the sense 'I am.' It is what we call home as well. So stay in that. Don't come to the end of that. Don't come after, you see, because that is when you get involved in time. You get involved in time after we feel like after the 'M' is done. Stay in the middle. Is there still like that? Is there a sense of what I'm saying? You may not be... I'm also saying first time. I haven't really experimented with this much, but that's the sense that I just got as I'm here. I recognize that the part doesn't get over, you see. But if I have to get involved in my narrative, in my story, and what's happening and all of that, then I've gone in my thinking beyond that, and I'm already saying 'this is right, this is wrong, this is good, this is bad.' So I've come into time and space. Don't get... just be there where time and space are like coming out of you, but don't get involved in that.

You're making the cake, but don't eat it, because it only looks like cake; it doesn't taste like it. The cake of this world is not sweet. No, silly answer also. If I'm here, then how does the cake get made? It's getting made, no? Like every moment, this world is appearing in front of you. The cake of time and space is appearing in front of you. You stay with the baking process. Don't get involved in the cake. Too many cakes. My life... that I disappear, all the trouble disappears. The life still appears, you see, but we are not grasping at it. We are not tugging at it. We are not trying to take a position, choose an outcome, say right or wrong, a judgment. Because you have to go after 'I am' to believe a judgment. Stay, stay in between the 'am.' Live there.

Most of you get a sense of the primordial vibration that I'm speaking of, the sense of being, the home 'I am.' Just build your house there. And as you build your house there, that itself will bring the insight of that which is the source of even that, that which is prior to all of this.

It is more a report. Yes, that earlier contemplation still feels like a mental process somewhere, you know. But in prayer, there's no active contemplation happening, but there's a lot of insights that seem very clear. More and more in the heart, it just... there's no concreteness to it, but I know that there are guidance, guidance.

That's the way. Contemplation, yes, yes. Yeah, that's true contemplation: just to remain in the heart. And that's true prayer as well. And the good thing is that you don't become static or vegetative or any of that. You... in that mental... I don't know. See, they don't try to fix or resolve in your head. You find that whatever, whenever an answer is needed to appear at the surface also, it appears. And if it doesn't appear, it was not needed to appear for you. That is the trust.

So where are we living now? And if you don't drop all self-concern, then it will be impossible for you to dance within the being itself, because you'll constantly be stepping out to see, 'Okay, then what is happening to me? Am I getting insight? Am I becoming free? Is my pain going away? Is this the end of my suffering?' You see, all of that. So then you're outside. No self-concern. Let this whole universe go, which includes this body, because this 'me' can insert itself in the tiniest of spaces. Like a cockroach, it finds a way. Even in the words of satsang, it will find a way to put the 'me,' put itself there. That is why Maya is Maya. The 'me' coming... when 'me' is there, then it is Maya. And Maya is famous for being everywhere, but it's not really everywhere. You can still escape it. But not if you hang on to self-will, self-importance, self-concern. Then it will seem like a rollercoaster, up and down and up and down.

So once you build your new home, then don't bother with what's happening in the old neighborhood of the body-mind complex. Don't visit that to see, say hi to old friends. 'Ah, yes, yes. How are you doing? I'm good in my new house.' They can visit you; you don't have to move. So we've been calling it the heart temple, but the heart temple must be your new home. And there is no trouble. Nobody's ever said that 'I'm troubled while I'm there,' isn't it? They say that 'I was there, and then I just checked on my life.' Who said you want to check on your life? That is self-concern. 'What's happening to me?' It is empty of 'me.' 'Me' is what is created after 'I am.' Till I-amness, there's no 'me.' So don't get involved in that creation of the 'me.' Stay there.

And because your mind is not going to give up, then every few minutes say your prayer or do the inquiry. Every few minutes, if you ask yourself sincerely once also, 'Who am I?' it can bring you back. If you say your Atma prayer or even the arrow prayer, then our life becomes the true spirituality because you're living with spirit, in spirit. Yes?

Hey, would you help me? Take the mic. For starting, like, few minutes would be what? Five, ten?

Just yes, five is fine. I don't want to make it too prescribed because you have to just get a sense. But so if you feel like your mind gets you after two minutes, you try to stay with the presence, with His presence. I have to stop saying 'the presence' and say 'His presence.' So if you're staying with His presence and then you find that within a minute it gets you, then within a minute... if you feel like for five minutes you're fine, usually fine, intuitively you'll have this sense. So the idea is not to go oscillating too much between mind and head, mind and heart, between head and heart. It is just to remain over there. And the good thing is that your heart loves to pray, it loves to inquire. So without leaving your heart, you can call God's name, you can ask yourself, you can check. It becomes a checking.

It's not so much the words of 'Who am I?' but when we ask 'Who am I?' what happens? There's a checking into the nature of who we are.

Aftertaste, like an aftertaste kind.

Yes, in a way. But that aftertaste is the main meal in this case. The words themselves, 'Who am I?' is not so important.

Intention, right?

Yes, just the looking. And if you ask, you notice that so many subtle things happen, like your attention moves automatically how it is meant to move. Your intuition seems more accessible. Breath comes, breath... all the layers of your existence. So, but in the sincere checking, in the sincere looking at who you are... and you can use any question which is intuitive, which cannot be answered just by the intellect. 'What is love?' 'What is truth?' 'Where can I find God?' 'Who is the witness of this world?' All these questions you cannot answer. You can answer intellectually, but that's not useful. The true answer comes only intuitively.

And then they would take a question which again cannot be answered intellectually, but doesn't seem to do anything to do with God also. 'What is the sound of one hand clapping?' So if you go to the Zen master with some silly answer like 'like that, like that,' something, he's going to get a stick and come back. And they use anything. 'Why did Bodhidharma go to the East?' 'Does the dog have Buddha nature?' Any question they use like that to be a koan, but really you can't answer it with your mind, with your intellect. But I would say for your inquiry, stay with 'Who am I?' or any of the questions you hear in satsang. 'Am I aware now?' 'Can I stop being?'

Father, in my case, I just wanted to report. I think a lot of the trouble comes from attention going to the 'I am someone who's trying to find my source.' When attention goes there, then you know, I think what's coming now is that because it's a process of elimination of the false, and the real was always effortlessly there... in the sense that for the presence to exist, the 'I' was always effortlessly there, isn't it? Observing the presence. That's how... and so it's always there. And then, you know, the 'I am' also is always there in the waking state, always there. It's just that the attention keeps going to that 'I am the person trying to find something.' And I think that's the... I may put it... I mean, that's the deceiver.

Exactly right. That's... because you know, you're just going there. You just... 'I'm trying to do something, I'm trying to do self-inquiry, whatever, I'm trying to do something.' But in the background, it's like the substrate never changed.

Yeah, it's just that attention kept flickering to the false one.

Yeah, yeah. And when you're saying attention, you may be meaning like your focus, which comes after attention and belief. Just with attention, you can't... there is no object like the someone who's trying to find the truth. So it's not like an object that you can bring attention to. But I get a sense of what you mean is that belief of the person, the seeker. The belief of the person seeker that's trying to find, exactly, you know, the truth. Find the truth. That's the whole deceiver.

Exactly, exactly. You're just there, you're just... 'I'm trying to do this.' And then that 'I am trying to do this' will never let you get peace.

Don't go beyond the 'M.' Yeah, that's... yes, it's exactly it. It's beautiful. Thank you, thank you. Deep appreciation. All the self-concern and what's happening to that one, 'Am I getting to the truth?' All of that. Come, we don't know, huh?

Is admitting that we don't know enough? Is that... sorry, say again. Is admitting, admitting, admitting, yes, that we don't know enough? Because all these thoughts come.

No, it's not enough, because then you will make a knowing out of 'I don't know.' This is like what we do. 'I don't know.' 'You want some lunch?' 'I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.' But what happens is the true 'I don't know,' which is fresh and alive. Just like 'I don't know,' or your heart may move you to say yes or no or whatever. But if you make 'I don't know' into an 'I don't know' position as a more worthy position, then it's no longer an 'I don't know.' It has become that 'I know that I don't know.'

There is an intellectual 'I don't know.'

Exactly. Or an understood 'I don't know.' It will be empty even of that.

Father, just to build on what Arin was saying. You know, my own... I wouldn't call it struggle, but the whole 'I am' idea. No matter how much you realize, you're trying to go between the state of the small self versus the real self. I think the minute even from your heart, just the word 'I,' you're so caught up in it over the... since you were born, that it's a very flickering pendulum movement in and out. But I was listening to a Rupert Spira, very beautiful one, a few weeks ago where he talks about 'now,' where he says the only thing that's really always there... it's the same, it's a different way to put it.

The whole 'I am' idea—no matter how much you realize you're trying to go between the state of the small self versus the real self—I think the minute even from your heart just the word 'I' comes, you're so caught up in it since you were born that it's a very flickering pendulum movement in and out. But I was listening to a very beautiful one a few weeks ago where he talks about 'now.' He says the only thing that's really always there, it's a different way to put what you've always said, is the only thing that's really there that has a chance of being real is now. And this is the same now when you were born; it was the same now at the beginning of the universe, if at all there was one. All the same now, yesterday or today. And what I found is kind of sliding into almost 'I am now.' It kind of made it a little easier to believe you're not you, but you're just part of the now, and that's the only thing that's there. And that was a little... you're not caught up in the 'I' as much.

What I... it's very good because this now is not in time. It is the Eternal now, Timeless now. Once the playthings of Consciousness, you see—the playthings of God, which are time and space—then they start to seem real, you see. And you seem to take yourself to be an object within that time and space. Know that Maya has got you. So, to stay in the now is not with the content of the physical moment; it is to stay beyond the universe to the unchanging, the Eternal now.

That's why there, for maybe a year, I just kept clicking.

Yeah, see, the thing is that that's why I preferred the clicking, because the 'now' can also become something. To avoid that... otherwise, The Power of Now came many decades ago—no, two decades ago or something. Everyone knows that if you stay in the now... even those who are getting into spirituality, beginners in spirituality, will read The Power of Now and will say, 'Yes, there is never any trouble right now.' But hardly anyone is able to stay there because they start getting attached to just like observing the now or trying to live in the now, you see. So that's why I say that to try and be open and empty is not to be open; it has to become a wordless, conceptless 'yes.'

Yes, yeah. Trying to... no, you just...

Emptiness is the prerequisite. Anywhere, emptiness is the prerequisite. There is no staying in God's light by being full of 'me' or even trying to retain a little bit of 'me.' It is not possible. So the prerequisite is to remain empty, and then whether His presence, His light, is palpable to us as we are empty, then that is up to His grace. All we can do is to set the table; it is to remain empty. It's important to make that point, otherwise it becomes almost like an entitlement. It becomes like a process, a physical process, you see, like 'I do 20 push-ups every day, my biceps will build or my muscles will.' It's not like that. You have to fully become empty of any outcomes. Empty for God must be for God's sake, must be for the love of God, not so that I can be this way or that way or I can come to something.

Yeah, yeah. It can be... ah, yes, God. Oh, okay. Whom? Yeah, God.

So the ego can take on those things very easily. If we say that our job is to be empty for God and His presence is up to Him—His mercy, His grace—then that keeps us humble. Otherwise, very quickly we can see our conclusions all start very humbly. This is the trouble, and I've seen this more than anything in the last 12 years of sharing satsang, that children who come to satsang, they start off with the conclusions very, very humbly, you see. They are concluding, saying, 'Yes, is it like this? Yes, it's like that.' But those conclusions, as they are allowed to fester, they take a life of their own. They become pride. They become like 'I know.' And soon they become so strongly embedded in our head that we are not willing to listen to anyone at all. That's why I'm very careful to make sure that we are not able to fully define anything. Because if you get into a place where you fully define something, then it starts off very beautifully; it starts off as a pointer that you're using for yourself, but soon it just becomes like, 'Oh, I know this. What are you doing? You're talking about love for God? You should just be empty.' Or the other one: 'You're talking about being empty? You should just love God instead.' You see that these kind of things come from pride because those which started off as humble conclusions, then we feel like, 'Oh, now we've attained some mastery over something' and all of that. And soon it'll just be, before we realize it, it just becomes egoic and full of pride, like 'I have the answer, you don't.' That's why you notice that in any question, I always put something there which hopefully keeps working on the illusion and makes us empty even of that. And that may be very jarring to all of you, like 'Why can't he just give me an answer?' You take that answer and start feeling that an answer can be truth.

There's nothing to hold on to. Correct, correct.

And the minute you start taking spiritual answers to be the truth, then spirituality is lost. Very soon, before we realize it, we are out.

Yeah, this is what you say, Father, all the time. Before even we realize, we are out, like we've gone too far.

Yeah, and we don't even... like, I don't even realize that because to be right feels very good initially, before life slaps you. So there's this... the ego only wants something. The ego wants to reinvent itself in a spiritual way, and it comes very subtly. Like, it starts very humbly. It can start, 'Father, isn't it like this?' I say, 'Yes, my child.' The next day, 'Yeah, but it's like this, no, Father?' Then the third day, it's like, 'But why do we need to talk all this? It's like this.' And the 'day' could be a day, it could be a week, it could be years. That's how quickly those conclusions, which were meant to be helpful pointers to make us simple, innocent, empty, then can fill us up with sort of a spiritual knowing. And you'll see that this happens so subtly. It's like the poison is implanted, like the snake whispers in your ear. But it starts, 'Yes, yes, don't you feel it would be helpful like this?' There is a story of a Zen master whose answer to everything was 'Mu.' 'Mu' is what? It's 'no.' If you say, 'Is it like this, Master?' 'No.' 'Is it like this?' 'No.' 'Does the dog have Buddha nature?' 'No.' 'Am I getting this?' 'No.' 'Am I not getting this?' 'No.' Just 'no.' Huh?

Huh, is what I do. No, I have a bit of a softy to that all the time.

So that's quite helpful actually, because it doesn't allow us to build up any sort of conceptual frameworks. This keeps us empty. The 'no.' Like the 'neti-neti.' 'Neti-neti' is like the process of self-discovery where you go beyond the layers of your existence to that which you cannot say 'no' to. You come to a point where 'neti' is impossible. You cannot say 'not this' at that point. But this is more that it doesn't... it's like it doesn't allow you to construct any building. You try to put a brick? No. You put a rock? No. Put some wooden block? No. So ego construction is not possible. One tip is: don't go for any conceptual clarity. It can sound very counterintuitive, but it is fully intuitive. Don't go for conceptual clarity; go for remaining in your heart, remaining empty. One time I told Jima, 'Why you want to conclude today's conclusions or tomorrow's conclusions?' No conclusion will ever capture truth or reality. So the way to God can never be understood; it can only be followed.

Right, Father. This Maya has an energy of its own, Father.

Everything we call energy is Maya. Presence is not an energy. That's why I said Maya Shakti. Yeah, thank you.

So once you recognize this as Maya, then it leaves you, huh?

Once you recognize that this is Maya, it leaves? No, you have to leave it. No, but it's like the recognition... doesn't it take... if your recognition includes the leaving of it, yes. You see, many are just like... who in India doesn't know that all appearances are Maya?

That is from the mind, Father.

Exactly, exactly. So just to be able to label it and say 'Maya, Maya' doesn't help. You have to truly become empty of it. Are you working on staying before the... both ways? No. How does it go? You get to the end, then how you spell it? Y-O-X-O-Y? Oh, so you go to the end, you have to go back when you are... never go to the 'why.' The 'why' is a waste of time. It's so funny that I always picked on this word 'why,' and the other day we saw a video which is... what is the title? 'The question why is like an attack on God.' I don't know if any of you remember. What is it? 'Why' is ignorance, Avidya. It's amazing how these sages can say such beautiful things so simply. There is this foolish one who finds such complicated ways to explain.

Did you ask 'when'? I used to ask 'when' a lot when I was seeking. When will I be free? When will I find God? When will I find presence? Because we have joined this to escape suffering, like watching. But now you've got a better offer. You came for what? But you're getting a seven-course meal instead.

No, His answer... now you can ask where, when, how, and why. This trouble, 'why,' is pure speculation. But we love the 'why.' Without you, we are sunk.

I'm here.

When our heart turns towards Him, then the outer instruments arrive. Not to worry. What else?

So I found when I was down in Goa, like although there was a lot of stuff going on and people wanted to meet and stuff, I just didn't feel... I just didn't feel like I wanted to partake in anything. Like I just don't feel that anymore. And all I wanted to do is just sit and I just wanted to listen to you and I just wanted to listen to Mooji. And I guess that there feels like there's a real stripping away of everything, but there's also like... I don't know, it feels hard, like I'm kind of losing something. I'm kind of not involved or not part of, or I'm just... I guess my question is, is that just kind of part of it? Just yeah, more and more I just sit here and bring myself back to that. I see everything's all right and I see even like, you know, the fear can come and the fear can be so, so, so, so, so big. And the stories... and if I'm just not feeling it, if I'm not taking...

I promise you that you are safe if you stay with His presence in this process that is unfolding for you. It is beautiful because you say that 'I went to this place,' and most people go to this place to experience the height of Maya. They go to Goa not for God. Most go to Goa to... some may go for God, but mostly it is the party place. So which means what? That you want to immerse yourself in whatever Maya has to offer. You say, 'I'll go over there,' and even over there, what is more attractive to me is God's presence in my heart and I don't want to partake, I don't want to indulge in any of that. That's beautiful. So don't let your mind scare you away, scare you into all of that.

I don't feel like it is. I don't feel like it's really... it doesn't really have a grip on me anymore. Just sometimes when the fear comes, it can be so... I just see when I don't feed it, when I don't give it tea, it just... it's soon in and out. But there's also something I just can't... and you know the funny thing is that most who want to indulge in a different way of life are doing it so that they can come to that peace ultimately, so that they can come to just being able to be peaceful with themselves, to be able to sit in the presence. So if you're already getting that without having to party, already good.

See, because if you ask most, they say, 'I just wanted a break from my life, there's too much stress. I wanted to just de-stress and just enjoy myself, be myself.' You see? But how does one be themselves if they are just being egoic? Be yourself only in God's light. What is the time? Found it out to experiment with it like that. You can see in satsang anyway it means... it may seem like you don't need any anchor, you don't need any clutches. It may seem easier to be empty. So then you experiment. Experiment outside of satsang also and see. Two minutes, huh? Two minutes is good. Two minutes is a lot to live—two minutes without identity—and then to reinforce that emptiness using your presence.

Be yourself only in God's light. What is the time? Found it out to experiment with it like that. You can see in satsang anyway. It means it may seem like you don't need any anchor, you don't need any clutches. It may seem easier to be empty. So then you experiment. Experiment outside of satsang also and see. Two minutes? Two minutes is good. Two minutes is a lot to live. Two minutes without identity and then to reinforce that emptiness using your prayer or the inquiry sounds like a beautiful life. Just don't fall for any trap which says you should not need anything, you should not need to inquire or pray. The mind is just trying to trap you because that's why I keep saying your heart loves to pray, it loves to inquire, so then there is no trouble.

So then a fear goes away. Why do we feel the presence of love when we come to satsang? Because the mind will scare us. We are changing a whole way of life, not necessarily outwardly but inwardly. To learn to be empty, the mind will throw a lot of fear at us and say, 'This is no way to live. You will become useless, good for nothing.' You see, all this will happen. So when you meet this love, which is the fragrance of the Satguru presence within, then it'll comfort you to remain in his light, in his presence.

Very yeah, as a strength. Then a strength. It shouldn't get you then you're already saying, 'I'm a fool, I'm a good for nothing.' Then what is that? It hurts.

Yeah, yeah. So then we have to deepen in the recognition that all that is good, all that is good only comes from God. And all that is the 'me' that is here is really the most foolish. Tell me one good thing about the 'me'. I have found and found looking for anything good about this 'me'. He is the most foolish and yet God's grace blesses us. His mercy, his love blesses us all so much. What is so great about this bundle of food? It is a walking, talking bundle of food. Pride is a very strange thing. And what is going to happen to this bundle of food? It is going to be burnt in the fire or buried under the ground. Even the most special, most intelligent, most beautiful can't escape that fate. For this, don't waste time with that. The eternal true intelligence, true beauty, true love is within our heart. God's presence. This is a beautiful line: 'For him to increase, I must decrease.' But many times in spirituality, we get trapped by the idea that I will increase if I increase him.

For this love we see in you, so present, and how can we get close to that being ourselves like that? You see it, but you feel that you can't repeat that part. I really don't know how to put this. It's just a... what I see in you, I want to see it here as well, for God's sake.

Well, you got mixed up there. Just dedicate everything that you have to God. When you meet someone, you must not have an expectation that they should say, 'Ah, what a guy. What a great man.' Just, if anything at all, if the conversation is like that, it must be: 'I must inquire more deeply into my reality. I must find out if God is real and I must find out who I am.' If you can leave those that we encounter with this kind of turning towards God instead of aspiring to look special or great in their eyes, our life will transform. So just make it all about him and the rest is his grace, his blessing.

Father, your initial pointing, stay with the 'I am', and that's... I'm just really... it just occurred to just deeply thank you because that really feels like that's really the essence. So you get into fragmentation, including, you know, start to take stuff, give identity to anything, any object, then you lose it. You're kind of going away, blocking the sun. In your own experience, in your day-to-day, how do you do everything for God's sake? How do you do everything for God's sake?

Do everything? I don't yet do everything for God. I am still learning. So it's still a work in progress, but I feel like I remain in his presence for most of the time and allow him to move this body, guide this body, even through what we call work. It is great, but I cannot claim 100% or something. Still a long way to go. That's only satsang, satsang effect. Just hand over all self-concern, everything. Even everything that is godly, Maya wants to come into that and insert some fear, insert some doubt. A long way to go, huh? Long way to go. I still feel that there's so many moments every day that I go with what I think is right instead of waiting for him to move me or guide me. Then will it become truly 100% in service to him? I don't know whether it will happen in this lifetime, but I want to die trying.