The Antidote to the Spiritual Ego Is Faith, Unwavering Faith, Unwavering Obedience

Now, what some of you are saying is that but the truth, if the truth has to be at the center of this, you see, then it cannot be conceptualized. What can we say about the unchanging reality except in terms of negation? It is not changing, it was not born, it will not come and go. All the negations can point to it, but they don't give us any constructive thing to hold on to. With me? Am I going fast? So, who can recap? Where are we now? What are we doing? Find where the beliefs reside. Right from the beginning. From the beginning.

We're referring to Bhagwan's statement. He said the truth will not be a new attainment; it will be just letting go of the false. Avidya has to be dropped. You will not get true Vidya; true Vidya is already there. Atma Gyan is already there, Brahma Gyan is already there, you see. Only the ignorance has to be dropped. Then we said, where is the storehouse of this? We may call it all kinds of things; all of that is stored in our belief system. So you don't have to fix anything in the realm of action, you don't have to fix anything in the realm of emotion, you don't even have to fix the purity or impurity of thought, maybe. You have to clean up your conditioning and you must keep only that which is true and wean out all that which is false. That is the project.

Okay, now he said, 'Okay, I can go to my belief system and I can audit it and say, okay, what among this is true and what is false?' Okay, now if you hold on to stuff about the ego, about the false one, then you will still be left with avidya. So you must have the truth, the unchanging reality, at the center. And this brings us to where we are now, which some of you have said: 'Okay, but at the center, if I have to keep the truth, I can't say anything about it really.' And a belief is what? Saying something about what we take to be true, isn't it? So except in negation, we cannot make a positive claim about that which is true.

So now we are in trouble. Now we are in trouble. That means the whole thing has to go. The whole shebang has to be thrown into the river. Now as you throw this into the river, along with it goes who? Empty you. So satsang is throwing yourself into the river—not physically, because that doesn't help anything. It's not about your physical activity, your physical body and you. So can we take that which we treat as yourself to be everything? Because the truth must not be concerned with the comings and goings. If you can throw it out, how can it be true? If you can even bring it in, then how can it be true? Then it would make it part of the coming and going. To make it part of the coming and going—that much is clear to all of us. The negations are pretty clear: it does not come and go, it was not born or will not die, cannot be perceived, there is no change, there is no boundary. All the negations are clear to us, but the negations don't tell us anything constructively about it.

So what is the way to throw all this falseness into the river? As you inquire, I ask you: are you aware now? And that can translate into: are you awareness? Okay, I'm taking a giant leap. If anything is not clear, we can rewind. Say, 'I am Nirguna by nature.' No quality. Because to be aware is not a quality, really. So if this is your truth, if this is what insight tells you immediately, then your attachment to that which is false, it reduces.

So that is when we... the other way is to constructively surrender, realizing that I hold on to the forms. Constructively try to come to an emptiness. And that surrender, that devotion, that faith can seem a little bit difficult because sometimes we want to hold on to our discoveries on the spiritual path also. 'I had the experience of Brahman three months back. I saw there is no me.' That was true. So you're going to hold on to something in time. We want to hold on to something in space. So instead of the fresh meeting with Brahman, really trying to meet God in the narrative—it is impossible to meet God in that way. So it is this part of squeezing out specialness, squeezing out spiritual specialness, therefore spiritual ego. Special where? Certainly, but clearly we may have made many ideas about ourselves and the truth that seems to be setting the Sangha on fire. And Madhuri has missed all that, thank God. I'm glad she's back. Setting the Sangha on fire, that's why I keep asking: so if you are burning, can you identify what can burn?

Okay, so if I tell you that you have too much specialness, if you don't, it cannot burn. What are you talking about? So if you don't have an idea about specialness either way, can it burn? So either you can rely... okay, sorry, I look at it, but when it pokes, we may have an idea that, 'But I'm not special,' and that can poke. Then in the question, 'What would you not do for God?' a lot of these belief systems and conditions are also being shown up. You have an idea or a boundary that you define for your spirituality, and without realizing it, what we've created actually is a boundary around our faith—that 'God, I am spiritual, this is your domain, this much is mine.' Then you have plenty of ideas in terms of what is right spirituality and wrong spirituality, which you may have picked up from this mountain. You may have plenty of ideas that you picked up in satsang itself. 'Oh, this is right, this is wrong.' When I'm saying to all of you, 'Surrender to God's will, become obedient to God's will,' why would that be fearful? And why is it seeming contrary to our spirituality? It is fighting that I am also God.

The familiarity with the known devil, really. Yes, in a way. The known—I would say the devil, if you recognize it is the devil, then you will find a way to push it out. So somewhere, I see what you're saying. It's almost like Stockholm syndrome where you just feel like, 'Oh, but you see, I have this, at least I have this.' It is familiar, even if it is a comfortable hell, because I don't know what lies out there. So I'll hang on to my comfortable hell in the knowledge of it. Maybe we see, maybe we think we've gotten used to it rather than the risk, the seeming risk of diving into the deep unknown. You see, while playing golf, it's like out of ten shots you'll get one good one, but the nine suffering shots, yeah.

So before you would show us what... yes, and rely on that, forward to it. But then my classmates and you're saying what auditors like your order... yes, taking your order. That's different from relying on business ideas.

Yes, I don't recall releasing the assets and so much about my order, but if that shoe fits, wear it, good. So let's make it about... okay, those of you who call me Guru, suppose you have to spend the rest of your life following my order, then what pokes there? This thing can say something different. 'I might still be in God's light and not follow what you say.' Yes, yes. So let's face that situation. Let's face that situation where I make the claim that I am following my heart from God's light, from God's presence, and let God itself create that contradiction and in your heart guide you in a different way. Those are the conversations I would love to have. Those are the conversations I would love to have. But so far, to be honest, all I've gotten is, 'Your heart may be saying this, but my mind says scary, scary. My mind says don't go there.' And says whatever, right? So right now it's only heart collision with mind. Let's come to a point where hearts... let's see if the heart can go live. Let's see if we can intuitively collide. Let's see if that happens.

One thing is, so you want to talk about God's will. The discovery were to be in focus, like 'Do I exist?' God, as you expand on the first part of what you're saying, and I've often said that we are so blessed at the Sangha because this is a real first-world problem to have, isn't it? What a first-world problem to have, that is: I have an insight into God. You see, why can't I just stay with that insight? Now, how many people can claim that in the world? You see, I can meet God. I can meet God's presence. I can meet that which is aware even of the presence of this being. Most of you are saying that. What a wonderful first-world problem to have. Now you have that, but the problem is what? The problem is that the spiritual ego takes a hold. 'I'm in this discovery. I came to be. I came to awareness. Awareness is empty of quality, beingness is like that.' Okay, so this Ravana mindset, you see, because Ravana also came to the discovery.

So what is the antidote to this spiritual ego? The antidote to the spiritual ego is faith, unwavering faith, and unwavering obedience. And this word 'obedience' is pushing a lot of buttons because nobody wants to come to freedom to become obedient. In the mind's way of functioning, it sounds like a contradiction. So what is your...

In this discovery, I came to be, I came to awareness. Awareness is empty of quality; beingness is like that. Okay, so this Ravana mindset, you see, because he also came to the discovery. So what is the antidote to this spiritual ego? The antidote to the spiritual ego is faith—unwavering faith and unwavering obedience. And this word 'obedience' is pushing a lot of buttons because nobody wants to come to freedom to become obedient. In the mind's way of functioning, it sounds like a contradiction. So what is your life based on now? Are you not obedient to something? It's worth exploring that. You're obedient to what you take to be your ideas of right and wrong, but they're not your ideas. You did not create them; they just popped up in your head and you made a condition out of them. That is taking the bite of the apple from the Tree of Knowledge.

So even in the tasting of the most pristine spiritual insight, which we must always be grateful for, there is the potential of becoming great and special about it. In fact, that has the most potential. The spiritual ego is the worst form of ego. So if—and I have given you examples of all cultures and religions in this world where true spirituality is followed—everything has to follow God's will at the center of it. What makes us special? What makes us say, 'I will be Frank Sinatra and do things my way'? What is that? Have you identified it? We identified what that is: atrocities. This 'my' thing, that's where I was there again. This religion is God, the God's will, yeah, yeah.

Now, to authentically follow God's will, like I said, you have an advantage because you can say, 'I have met God.' Do you feel that all those who are claiming to follow God's will, as you're saying, committing all this terrible stuff... do this to you as someone who's had a true meeting with God? Then you're saying that—you're not saying—you're saying like a very extreme version of 'let's throw the baby out with the bathwater' because some bathwater has some chlorine in it or something, finding the right metaphor. So we should not follow God's will because there are some people in the world who have used that excuse or claim to inflict atrocities on people? I'm not saying that. Is there no other difference? In what are we different? I mean, even they say they realize this is God.

Yes, but you must rely on your truth. Yes, that is okay. So let's see what is the hukum. So if Nanaji says... either it could be not talking about people like us because we are special. What's wrong? What is he doing wrong? He's saying basically that at the end of all of this—and maybe we create the whole thing—you may think and think a hundred thousand times, but God will not be found as a product of your thinking. You may sit in silence for a long, long time, but God will not be found in that silence. You may surround yourselves in a feeling of love and peace and joy, but God will not be found in that way. You may stuff yourself with the best material things available, but God will not be found in that way. You may use all of your smartness—understand a little—you may use all of your smartness, and God will not be found using that smartness.

Then comes like the voice of the frustrated seeker in the Japji Sahib—I'm just translating—that is the voice of the frustrated seeker who says, 'If not all of this, then how will I find the truth? And how will the veil of illusion be lifted?' Then he says: work under the obedience or the hukum of God. And that is what Nanak says. So let's openly explore what could be wrong with this. Do that.

Can we first explore how would we follow? How do we know if it's a true in the first place? That's what I'm saying. In the beginning, it kind of said is what it finds to be true. It's outlined: this is the truth. Then it says how you won't find this. Yes, so if you follow this, you'll find. If you don't...

So let's quickly run through and you see if any of those things are not clear to us. Construct. So all of these things here, our view of the insight, we've discovered them. There's one truth. Its presence is 'I am'. Its only true name is the one who it is. Beyond fear, fear and desire and aversion—all of these things were discovered. That which is timeless, outside yoga, outside research. That which is unchanging in time and boundless in space. Then how do we make this discovery? You cannot do it by thinking. You cannot do it by meditating. You cannot do it by anything. All these things will not lead you to the finality of truth till you follow the will of God.

Now, suppose it was a multiple-choice thing. So you could follow the will of God or... rival is based on what I feel, what you take to be right. What is the original quote-unquote sin, so to speak? Right? The knowledge of right and wrong. And this is super confusing because I have always got confused as a kid about it. I said, 'They ate this fruit and it told them what was right and what was wrong. That's supposed to be very good.' But what happened? We started covering ourselves in fig leaves, started fighting amongst each other. And we don't have to worry whether this really happened or is a metaphor; it's not for us to understand that. But if it's the centrality of a way of pointing, then what is it pointing to? That is worth trying to see.

Does it point to a separate side? I mean, is it pointing to like a separate server? Like it's essay... so the 'I' which I feel in myself is also one.

Okay, let's zero in on this one. When we realized that there is one doer, what can that realization be in the form of? Too complicated. You can make an understanding out of it anyway. 'There's only one doer. I know this.' We know this as a piece of knowledge: there's only one doer. So when things bother us in life, you can say, 'Oh, it's okay, God is doing it. What should I do? Oh, it's okay, God is doing it.' So that can be the pose of following God's will, but is that truly following God's will? No, it's still following the condition because I believe there is one doer, so now I am living in this way under that belief.

Let me tell you how it seemed to play out from here and then we can see how to apply it at all in our lives. First, ask yourself what you want. What is it that you want? Even coming to satsang, what do you want? Somebody say, what do you want? This is just like generally speaking, what do you want?

Don't know. Too many things have happened. I feel that I know in the sense meaning that I heard this truth being said many times. You want to recognize the truth, yeah, good enough.

Okay, what do you want? Anyone else? You want peace of mind? Thank you. You want to be completely in God's light? Okay, so first you stop it. Can we stop it? How can you stop it without replacing it with 'I don't want this thing, I don't want to dissolve in God's light or love' or whatever? So in the way of the mind, there is no such thing as neutrality. The answer to the opposite of it that makes up the mind, isn't it? Either you have the positive or the negative, and both are—that's a different conversation—but both are the two sides of the same coin.

Now, to not want it—and most of you have been in satsang long enough to see this—what is the replacement? Surrender. In surrender, what happens? What did you want when you came? What did you say? You said, 'I didn't say anything.' So suppose, 'live in God's light.' You wanted that. Now when you surrender, what actually happens? Maybe when you live in God's light, actually by saying that whatever you do, yes. But if I said stop it, don't want that, the mind's way to stop you is to say, 'No, I don't want to live in God's light.' But what is that emptying that I'm talking about? What is the open and empty? How does one empty? No mind, no ego. No mind. So how does one come to that empty mind, no mind? Don't take your thoughts to be true. But they will come. Don't take them to be true means don't identify, don't believe.

So then we are becoming... generally we say, 'Let them come and let them go, don't serve them tea.' Thoughts are like visitors; let them come and let them go, don't serve them tea. What is the tea you could serve them? Identification, belief. So in that way, are you empty? Now you become a slave to God. So a slave will not have a wish. Yes, you just come into that. So first see if you can meet the emptiness the way we are talking about it. I'm already starting to become a bit clear. I said something saying this, but empty of personal will. And that is today's contemplation also. Is it all vegetative and static? Am I going too fast? Is it all vegetative and static, lifeless? Can you for yourself experiment with this and say, be very right about something that you want, even the most beautiful sounding desire? Can you contrast this with this openness, with this emptiness? Is it sounding too far-fetched, too difficult? Empty of individual will, empty of the narrative.

Has life gone? Life is still here. It's a child, you know. A child is doing so many things, but it's largely empty of... yes, and we have never lived as well as we have lived in that room. What is the difference? As you empty in this way, have you stopped breathing? Have we stopped hearing? Who is doing all of this functioning? Did the light of your heart dim down because you are not thinking about it? Because you're empty of desire, what has happened to the light of presence? Does it need to be told now, 'Cough, you need to drink some water'? The thinking happens. Do I need to know 'I want to drink water from this is a glass which is a container for water'? Continue, but from the person? Exactly, exactly.

So now all you're doing is noticing that from the light of this presence that we may call God's light, that which we take ourselves to be, that which we take our body to be—whether it is this one body or the entire universe which we take to be our body—it continues to be animated in the same light. I feel like till here, nobody has a problem. Till here, nobody has a problem. It's apparent: God's light is shining, all this movie is playing in the same light. Everyone is fine. Your only trouble now is that you think that if this light is shining, it should just shut up and do its job and keep shining and don't tell me what to do. That's where the trouble is starting. You hear me? Okay, till here, no problem with obedience and all that. It's very nice, nice.

But what if one day this presence had to guide you? And it is not like a guidance which is just like this is unfolding, this foreign language. Because it's language, you won't believe it, even if it is clear to you that this is not mental, it is from your heart, because you can't explain. Happy new words, okay, it is. Yes, but suppose that—suppose you've not experienced this before. All of you have actually, and that's why you're in satsang in some way. But suppose that the only voice you heard is of the mind, and now you know that if there is a language, if there is a sentence, if there is a concept, then it must be mind. Then firstly, themselves must be contaminated with the mind. This is also language. If it is contaminated with the mind, how are so many of you flowering so beautifully? And how is the fragrance of the words in satsang different from conceptual and without contractual religion or conceptual philosophy? Where are these words coming from? If we say for years we've had the book, the only book that we really printed is 'Consciousness Speaking with Consciousness'. We should just say, 'But everything is consciousness speaking with consciousness.' What a silly title. Why do we say satsang is consciousness speaking with consciousness? Do you think it's consciousness? What are we saying? We are saying that it is unfiltered through the adulteration of egotism. So this is where the buttons are being pushed at the moment. You're okay to be empty, open and empty, because you've heard this for years. The only problem is that if the voice started to speak to you, or even through you—and you'll be okay with 'through you', actually you'd love that.

What a silly title. Why do we say satsang is Consciousness speaking with Consciousness? Do you think it's Consciousness? What are we saying? We are saying that it is unfiltered through the adulteration of egotism. So this is where the buttons are being pushed at the moment. You're okay to be empty, open and empty, because you've heard this for years. The only problem is that if the Voice's voice started to speak to you, or even through you—and you'll be okay with through you, no? Actually, you'd love that through your stuff now. Yes, you must do like that; you must enjoy. All that is fine. But if it is telling you something, then you are okay? And now we are catching the things. Using 'empty' is fine. Dark, light is shiny, everything is beautiful.

And many of you are going to be very happy if it starts using this mouth as the instrument. It's like that, like that, and 'you must surrender, my child, you must inquire.' You would love that to happen through that mouth, isn't it? It's only when it is directed to you then you feel like, 'No, how is he doing it properly?' How many of you would not touch that voice if it was coming for others? How many of you would not trust that voice from your heart if it is coming for others? Others in the sense you're talking to your neighbor. Neighbor says, 'I'm going through a lot of problem' and your heart starts speaking to her and you're just like, 'Surrender to God' and you trust it. Do you trust it when it requires obedience from another? And many of you had this experience where you notice this unfolding in this way, isn't it? You have two friends, neighbors, people that they... rather, I was talking to a taxi driver who, you know, started doing inquiry while driving. So then I don't know whether you became wonky units. All of you had that.

Okay, so when it is directed seemingly outwards to become empty of will, everybody is yes. The taste of the presence of God and even the taste of this phenomenal world seems to immediately get amplified instantly. Open, empty. Now, first we said that we don't want you to tell us what to do. It's the presence of God; it should just shine and mind its own business as far as everything else. You can see the absurdity of that. And that's why I'm saying it in that way, because all of this is already shiny and it's like with its own intelligence. Now you're also saying that you've noticed that it speaks. It can tell people; it has been telling loved ones and neighbors and things like that. It's the way to be open. And then you, if you report it back to me saying that, 'It is not coming from my mind, it's not coming from a place of specialness, it is just like...' Many of you said, 'Father, you started speaking through me.' That's it. You started speaking through me.

So when speaking through you, it's fine for others to have their expectations that they should follow. But when they're speaking to you, that is when it is pushing some button.

Yesterday, what you speak is actually what my heart is speaking. Yeah, and like when you said it's like when you shut your mouth, speak. Yeah, it became apparent advice then. That not happen? It's the same voice. How I needed to relate to you to hear it, you know? But it's completely possible that it starts speaking to me. So why is there a rejection of if that same voice started speaking? It has to know. In fact, that's how these contemplations are coming up, because I just opened the note-making tool that I have and I just wait for it to start showing up. It comes from there.

I think it goes back to that question my brother was asking, that intuition is very clear. Yeah, repeatedly over time, voices saying this is what needs to happen. When the mind comes and says it may hurt somebody, so it's that person that doesn't... yes.

And that struggle, we will come to it. Firstly, we must look at the lack of faith or the lack of trust in being able to follow what our own heart is saying under the operation or slavery of what our mind tells us is right or wrong. And just to connect it to the original narrative, already started, the devotees asked Bhagavan, 'How can we be rid of conditioning?' He said, 'What it is already so.' She is super confusing for the devotee because you must empty yourself from this conditioning, and then how do we do it? It's so already. Why do you tell us all this? It had to be told here. Now I'm paraphrasing, not putting words in Bhagavan, but you could protest, no? And it's already so, why do you tell us all this? Because it's important to do it. How will you do it?

So if I have to take an example, suppose God is very good to say, 'I should know East' or something. Yeah, I tried to conveniently forget. God told you right now, 'Give me a thousand bucks.' It's coming back. So you said, so to tell ignorance from truth, who is at the center of the thoughts? That was your criteria to tell. And in this sort of thought, in this sort of language, sentence that 'I should donate 1,000 rupees to an orphanage,' yes. So when I tell you whether you should follow or not, who is that you or I? It stops making sense. The instructions, yes, agreed. Thank you. Exactly. Instructions, that is the main instruction. As long as you can receive the instruction as a 'you,' then you must receive the instruction as 'you.' You cannot say, 'Ah, for this I want it to make sense, but when the mind says don't follow God's will, then I can understand that this is to be willing to take on the identity when it comes to the mind's operation.' Because when it comes to following words, we who?

So anyway, I've clarified that what you may find happening—you can't really predict—is that most of your lives you spend most open and empty anyway. You will spend open and empty where it's just unfolding so naturally. But ever since I started prodding a bit on this part, I've noticed a lot of 'ouches' are coming. So I want to keep pushing that point.

Can you tell us again what you just said? That when if I receive that instruction as a person, then I have to follow it? Meaning, is there somebody there to still receive it? Like I am receiving it and you must follow.

Is pointing. I am too advisor for you.

The one practical, I guess, downside of following the heart when it's even... it feels very clear without thinking, is that you may tend to get labeled as selfish. Yeah, and so then that creates a new loop. I mean, it's massively reduced, but I'm just reflecting on my past self. Why did I listen to some intuition that was so clear? It was convincing myself, 'Oh, it's so clear, but it's selfish because of causes and effects.' Do you agree?

Label all sorts of things. As I was saying, that sometimes we just have to accept the payback for love is here. It is not to allow that to stop us. And so now with them, I will also sort of wondering that what is very clear, I don't know, because they tell you to do that, it can't happen. Okay, you can't do it on my own and without your name about that. Your voice is a problem that I don't know. The voice seems to have more... this is fine. And basically it is, and this is when I'm not given a new comes over. Will you become a cult surrounded by a crazy madman in the middle? Yes, scary actually.

Traditionally there's never been a risk-free spirituality. It's only in the modern way. As your most treasured sweeties, with your most treasured ideas of being right, they have to also be scooped out of you. And the mind is bound to find the one who comes in with the scoop to be the attacker and try to build all the defenses. And many of you are stuck like that because in your heart you love me and you can't avoid me, but in your mind you just want to run. That is the most auspicious sort of burning. Even if you run, it's okay. Even if you run after that, it's okay. At least some burning happened in that process. There may be time where you try to reconstruct the ego by creating distance, but some of you are properly stuck. Your love brings you here; your mind hates me here. It doesn't have to go like that for everyone. Because that is happening, that is also good.

I was telling her right now yesterday that what is this fire, right? The fire is basically a dissonance that is being created. And if you can track who's on which side of that dissonance, the fire will burn you completely. Which side of the dissonance am I calling from? Because the dissonance is between head and heart. As you can... if you can see that, then this burning will burn up all the false fully. Okay, somehow, hey, all this is about the ego. All these four things are for the ego. The ego is posing as if it wants freedom, no? So your trouble is most of you have already said, 'My life is for you, Father.' And I'm glad you said it, because now you have to live up to that claim.

Father, may I say something? Yeah, just thank you. Thank you so much. Everything you say, so no words, yeah. Totally here for you. And the last time I saw that, I think it's like French policies goes towards... I went to you, honey. Thank you so much. Care about following the God's will in this selfish me to like... like I choose it instead of God, like not to be humiliated. Yes, or I don't know. And yeah.

Yes, very good, very good. I've been seeing all of her reports on the theme also, the channels, and I'm very touched by them. What pushed the most buttons, of course, is that prayer that came for me and sharing with all of you. Shared with all of you about humbling myself, about like, 'Let the world spit on me, let me become a naked baby on the streets.' It pushed a lot of buttons because if you felt that a Father is praying like this, 'Why am I not able to do it?' Yeah, exactly. And that is shining a lot of spaces where there is fear. And all the fear is about things in that preachers are within all of us, claim to be false anyway. We have already claimed that this whole world is false, everything that comes and goes is unreal. All of us have said it. So then, so this is causing the claims to be like port.

I'm not saying to anyone you must become a naked beggar on the street, which is the 'what if' itself causing so much fire. So if you truly where we are claiming to believe that, 'Ah, I guess I see that the world is false,' then yeah. Yes, yes, my child. One more thing. The trouble is only that we were using the world as false so that we could be at peace. All of the spirituality was helping me. And by the way, which 'me' was that being helped spiritually? Ego. The world is also real. Hmm. Now you have to be careful with that answers because it's not with Advaita class anymore. Yeah, of course. And you'll quote scripture also. Ah, Krishna said some, said this one, saying Bhagavan thing, 'The world is unreal.' They give up everything that you have in the world.

See, that is what I mean by the lip-service armchair spirituality. So very... you have such a devious way to the Advaita as well. He's lost it because this is the first even 'humble me.' I mean, just even he could not even say that statement, you know, with him. He just created such as... it just got so exposed, you know, in that first caveman on me, dismissed it, doesn't matter. But to actually say, 'Oh, it was cold,' like you can get, you know, in one second, right? However, of course the mind hates it because it's a very different thing. You'll never find, possibly you will never find a Shankara prayer like that. You build a perch on top of the knowledge of Advaita and suddenly no master themselves. Where is that?

Let everyone take me to be a sinner and fool. May every shred of pride be squeezed out of me. Make me a humble servant. Make me love you such that I don't ask for anything from those who I love. May I accept the heat and malice as a gift from you, my Lord. Humble me, Father. Make me a naked, naked beggar in the eyes of the world. Make me known for my vast ignorance and stupidity. May I never forget that I am a measly servant. Father, let my name be mud. Let my children hate me. Let the world spit on my face. But may I never feel that I am serving you well or helping your world in any way. Humble me, Father. I'm a stupid, pretentious sinner. Forgive the servant for all this pride. I am undeserving of your Father. Nothing I can say is repentance.

A gift from you, my Lord. Humble me, Father. Make me a naked, naked beggar in the eyes of the world. Make me known for my vast ignorance and stupidity. May I never forget that I am a measly servant, Father. Let my name be mud. Let my children hate me. Let the world spit on my face. But may I never feel that I am serving you well or helping your world in any way. Humble me, Father. I'm a stupid, pretentious sinner. Forgive the servant for all this pride. I am undeserving of you, Father. Nothing I can say is repentance enough. Your grace is everything. I pray to your grace that I remain a foolish servant and deserving of you in every way. May I remain hopeless and foolish and never forget that you, my Father, are all I ask for. Nothing for the 'me', no reassurances for my lack of faith. Just as I see it, see clearly now, may I always see.

And so many of you kids have written to me after reading the same: 'Father, everything all right? I know you're like free and all that, but...' It's very sweet. It's very sweet. But I can't tell you how much joy there is in this place. What freedom there is in this. It makes people scary, but who is scared? This is the trick that the mind has played on everyone. The mind played that trick saying, 'You will become a hunchback Quasimodo-type beggar in Brixton.' You see, you cannot say, 'Ah, Guruji also had this fear, but look at him. I'm pretty comfortable. It never became a background in Brixton.' And he is making this prayer and he is living comfortably on the eighth floor, not a naked beggar on the street, so I can also make it. It's okay, nothing will happen, you see. So that is not just about lip service.

And that may say something. Yes, at this point it seems like it's not going to stand. Like it's something totally new and it's like—I don't know how to explain. Yeah, maybe it's not needed. But everything which is false is like, yeah, crazy food.

Yeah. But as you hear these words, which may not sound so Advaita, what is the identity that is getting scared? What is it that's getting pushed? What is the fear? Isn't your life a God, by the way? Thank you, everyone. Okay, we're good. You can also answer. Is it just good big words, like nice words to say?

It's a fact that it's easy to say it's for God, but moment to moment when this idea... and like, is it somehow tasted by life? And yeah, after you made this claim, it hurts more when you see moment to moment that you don't choose, you don't stay with your claim.

Yes, and that is the burning that needs to happen. That's exactly the burning that needs to happen. You see that from monitoring, the efforts are in the top direction to make sure everyone appreciates—not appreciates, but at least small activities—as to who's that ego party. But praying on the other side, toward the opposite side, is also... so to bring that into your light is very important. Because otherwise Satsang just remains something that, you know, it's like you spend a lot of time just being a good seeker and then you come to Satsang to regain some peace and feel good and then go back.

What is the definition of good? Who can determine it? What will be good to say to all of you now? What will be good when a beggar asks me for money? What will be good in any situation in life? Humans have been in existence for many thousands of years; we still don't know. Everybody has their own philosophy about it. What was good before the knowledge of good and bad? Buddha left his house and abandoned his family and he became a useless beggar that nobody heard of after that. And that would have been bad. But because he became the Buddha and still there knew what was being born every day meeting God in some ways, it has become good. But when it is happening now, how do I know?

I am proposing to all of you that if it comes from God, it is good. If it comes from ego, it is not. If it comes from selfishness, it is not. That's the only way I have found to determine this. And now you don't have the excuse to say, 'I don't know what God wants.' Huh? Absolutely. Nope, it's definitely agreeing with me. I'm catching each other. Could you send me to some regular Gita class? Yes. I came to Satsang gopis every day, I'm crying. Okay. Is it just my eyes? This is a different boy sitting here compared to who came. See that?

So if the arbiter of good and bad is whether it comes from God or from ego, how to lead a life which is good is a life spent not being able to meet God and therefore hearing God's voice, God's presence. And there's no hope for truth and goodness there. And I am not giving you any airy-fairy construct. I am not going to tell you, 'Oh, listen to God in whatever you're using.' But how? I can't let you go right now. I am making it a living experience for you, okay? All you have to overcome is the doubting Thomas in your head, which is this coming from what? The things that you think you know, that you're right about. And that one will definitely want to attack me at every opportunity.

You don't want to attack someone unless you care something about them. So your mind wants to attack me; it's sensing some trouble. This looks like a regime change could happen. A regime change could happen. That's why the soldiers are like, now booking up. You go, no threat, it won't want to attack. So what you will not be able to do, I can tell you, our friend, which is to save yourself and find God. You may have some secret compartments and who saved my something, some attachment. It could even be 'save my spirituality and show me God.' I want to be like this only, show me God. As you let go fully, all this will also become this conceptual knowledge. But after two, three weeks, this will stop pushing buttons and I have to find a new track. After two, three weeks, everybody will be like, 'Yeah, ask me anything, God, I am fully children.' To find some other route to poke you. Your mind is not built up enough defenses yet against this. So this is the sweet spot in our way.

But this still has so much fire and that's why the expression of Satsang over the years has changed so much. Although from the beginning, full surrender, full letting go is needed. None of this actually is new; it's just coming. Anything, what that really means for us ago? I shared about this touch me because my advice... I mean, he used to sing this one and when I learned it, it really touched my heart. It was whichever state... it seemed like such a simple statement. When you dive down and say, 'Whichever state, are you okay with whichever state?' Ram says, 'Be deluded for 100 million more lifetimes.' Okay? Feel the potency in even one of these things; it is enough to burn us up.

But what happens is because we meet it metaphorically and poetically and romantically, we also sound like fancy emotions, but we don't taste it as a real roadmap. If the sage has told you there is only room for God or you, is he lying? Is he lying or deluded? Authoritatively, your sages told you there is room only for God or you. Is that sage lying or is that sage telling the truth? And whatever you have to meet God... 'For me, this works for me. This Satsang works for me. It doesn't work for me.' In what can you know better than God? This presence which you're meeting. And this is such a beautiful problem, actually. Privileged with seeming like a problem to you because you have no escape. You're meeting this person. You're scared to follow its will. It is with its will that you are able to breathe. Even before your breaths, one moment of the waking state is showing up in whose light? If that went away, what is this? Is there this or that? And that is the will we are scared to follow.

Are you starting to see the absurdity of our complaints? Because if that will stopped functioning, what you take yourself to be... is that even if you take yourself to keep this whole universe? Are these speculative words? Are these words which are nice-sounding spirituality? But actually, this is more a scientific universe than all the sages have just made fools out of us. And Maharaj said that the universe is nothing but a glimmer of light which comes and moves in front of you. And Ashtavakra said you are the boundless ocean in which these arcs of these universes, they come and go. So either they were super deluded or they were crooks. Did they look like... does he look deluded? Doesn't seem deluded because he was uneducated, greedy salary on the streets of Mumbai and he came to the meeting with God and then people from all over the world came to meet him and the words he said have become the Bible of Advaita. Could that one have been lying?

So if all of this is shining in that light of God, of consciousness, we want to say, 'But I am God too and therefore I don't need to listen.' Isn't that what Ravan said? Or the truth? But follow it fully. Find out. Find out between your mind, which is claiming you to be something, and this silly boy sitting here making all these absurd claims. Follow which one is true. Don't follow blindly; follow me truly. Look if you have found God truly. If you have truly found God, which most of this Sangha may say, how can you value anything else? What is it compared to? If you have a gold mine at home, how many hours will you beg on the streets? If you have God in your life, how can you suffer about relationships and money?

So either there is still, in spite of the insight, some separation getting created. Actually, when I came today, I felt like I'm not going to make any fiery speeches because my children are really burning. So I wanted to keep it reacted and I guess... and I can't stop this heart. So either you found God or not. But to find God and then be able to suffer and then make Advaita excuses for suffering, that is what you need to deconstruct. And I don't want any, of course, any posing and lack of integrity where all of you have that feeling like... I never want any of you to have that faith sort of, 'Ah yes, yes, it's always the same and I'm not suffering.' Okay, but those words have to be fragrant when they come from you. I would rather prefer this integrity over that any day. But really put into your light: are you truly discovering God or is this just some hocus-pocus business? The presence that you're meeting, who is that? Is that not God? And if it is God, what does the rest of this mean?

And I'm not advocating, not yet anyway, any sadhu lifestyle, because what you do outside doesn't matter to me. Inwardly, what are you placing value for? Relationship, money, spiritual progress, God? What progress? You can say that 'I'm at the ultimate, the unborn, that which is aware even of the presence of God.' But this is how I want my life to be. Can you really? The problem is that we feel that we have discovered something that we can make a claim over. So therefore the ego can become the owner, the claimant of this discovery, rather than saying that I found this beautiful temple in my heart where I can sacrifice myself. So let me repeat: first, the problem is that our spiritual discovery has become something that we can make a claim over and therefore make us the owner of that discovery, rather than us being able to look at it really to say that I found this temple of God's presence in my heart where I can sacrifice myself. Is the claim for you? Is the presence for you? Why are you for God? And many of you, of course, now are dated with me saying this stuff is like just belaboring the point now. Just belaboring the point now.

But I'm just saving you a lot of trouble. Because if you don't reverse that equation—that you can make a claim about God rather than you becoming headless in this meeting with God—then I order the newer create this service. The program is that we are no problem, everything is so, everything is God, and everything is God. And this is apparent to us empty of the hypnosis of 'me'. That's why that 'God or me', you see? The sage did not say, 'Oh, everything is God and therefore no problem anyway.' It is the shield and barrier which many of us are creating for meeting this because you just like but even...

If you make a claim about God rather than you becoming headless in this meeting with God, then you create this service. The program is that we are no problem, everything is so, everything is God, and everything is God. And this is apparent to us, empty of the hypnosis of 'me'. That's why that God or me, you see? The sage did not say, 'Oh, everything is God and therefore no problem anyway.' It is the shield and barrier which many of us are creating for meeting this because you're just like, 'But everything is God. What is he talking about sacrifice and letting go and surrendering? Everything is God. Has he forgotten? Maybe he never knew anyway. I just want to shake up everything is God, man. What are you going on about?'

Okay, and maybe you're feeling bad that you followed this one for 12 years; you didn't actually know any other time in the first place. But for a moment, if you don't feel that I could be deluded about this, what am I saying? That you are not truly empty. Everything is God and everything is always born, but you are discounting the power of egoic hypnosis to make it seem as if it isn't. And that is what all of satsang is for. If everything is already God, then why do you do? Of course, everything is already God. Why do we meet? Why does your heart get you here? Because this great seeming is a great scene. This Leela is a great seeming. It's a great seeming. What makes it great? We heard Guruji say it's a great scene. What makes it great?

It's great because it's potent. It's not an impotent seeming. It is the people on the streets, you know, it's all Maya, but it's great because of its potency. It has got you by the throat. So just by doing the term Leela and knowing the term Maya and saying, 'I can say oh, all of this is unreal,' doesn't make any difference. It still got you by the throat. How to loosen its hold inside? See it, and faith needs humility. Inside has been very straightforward for you. You spent many, many years exploring the inside of God, but how many of you can truly say this great seeming has loosened its hold on me fully? No, you can say, 'Oh, my life is a little more peaceful.' So better not say it's a great seeming unless it really rings true. You're still willing to fight with the auto-rickshaw driver for 50 rupees, so let's not use big words. Not that that is inherently wrong to do that.

I am not leaving you. I can't force you, of course. I am here for you as long as it takes. Don't they speak falsehood today? Then it is, yeah, of something or knowing this, I don't know, or just the dissolution of myself. My question to all of you is important: Are you living in God's light? Are you living in God's light, or only when you remember God, only in exceptional situations? Because if you truly found God, why would you spend a moment away from her? What else can be valuable? And if God's presence is there and you can stay with it in spite of all this worldly play that's happening, then why leave God for 'me'? Why leave God for 'me'?

So either something is not truly recognizing your own discovery, the skeptical discovery for yourself. Yes, yes, there's a presence here, but who really knows? But if you really did not take the words of satsang to be just fancy words, and we call it the light of this universe—if you were to meet, like, the light of the universe embodies itself in some way and has given us an appointment today, it was walking into this room, the light of the universe is coming into this room—then you would not waste your time looking a moment anywhere else. Would you leave that? So why this doubt and skepticism about that which you're discovering in your heart? And if I'm telling you that is the very light in which Ram and Krishna appear, are these just poetic words? If Krishna came and started living with you in your house, would you say, 'Oh, okay, but I have to keep it all in balance'? But you're finding it more intimately than that. He's not living in your house; your house may come and go, but He is here.

So what's going on? What's going on? There's a skepticism somewhere. We're allowing the ego to play its cards and win this game. Whose presence is that? You know it is not—is that not the light of Consciousness in which all aspects, all forms of God may appear? And is this theory? This is theory? Because if it is God, and even if you don't know whether it is God, won't you spend the rest of every moment of your life exploring whether it could be true? If this possibility was made true to you right now, saying, 'If you search for me wholeheartedly, you will find God,' then would you follow? Then what is the like comfortable state of mistrust? Yeah, what is that? What is that pose? If Krishna said to you, or whichever aspect of God is most appealing for you said to you, 'Promise to surrender everything, but I will always be with you,' what do you say? That which you're finding directly, is that less worthwhile? Is it a lesser God you're discovering within yourself, the fake thing? Could it just be a biochemical reaction?

And if it is, then I am either super deluded or a crook. I spent 12 years of my life telling you this, that this is God's light which lights up this whole universe is with you. Either I want something from you or I'm supporting you. Please take me to my hands or wherever. What is the other option? For the rest of your lifetime, you're going to be deluded by your mind anyway, so be deluded by me. Let's see what happens. Nobody. Right for that which you found to be true? Or what is giving strength to my falsehood? What is giving strength to my clothes? Your idea of safety? Your idea of balancing? The idea of image? Maybe, maybe it's your idea of not wanting conflict in your life. Do any of these other—yes, thank you. I don't mind to have fear or—is He there at the living one also? I see that it's not me, very face.

Yes, my dear, but I am asking you a simple thing: Have you met God? Then what else is of value in your life? The question was exploding after a meeting with God and that darshan of even the Absolute. What are we still holding on to? Why is this world not erupting in your life if this is true that all of you have met God? There is some that is her thing is not me. I don't know. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't come to an understanding. Shine in the light of the discovery that you are making. Don't hide God in some safe house in your house and live life as if your safe is empty. More than that, I report the students of God is in the closet and I can get it whenever. Yes, yes, that's what I'm saying, that now we are full of first-world problems. 'I see God, I know it's so easy, I can just check.' Can I stop being here? It is. Maybe I'm going to reverse the curriculum from now.

Start with the way you feel, just empty yourself fully, and then have the—so now that you can find God anytime, for all of you, thank you for bringing it up. So we'll see. So you can find God anytime. How much of your life will you spend in service to this one? Is it just a convenient genie? Is that the value equation? And isn't that the world's idea of spirituality right now? Is God for yours, for your peace? The great ointment is available to us, not the world, and we are troubled by the way we go about life, my way. But I also know that my way will lead to some trouble, so now I have a safety blanket. Is that it? Is that what satsang was for? Is that what freedom means? Is that what enlightenment is?

So she used to ask me last night, who changed so peacefully? He was showing us beingness and awareness. It is straightforward. I found something, then I had a nice time in Egypt also, different. So I said I changed because if I hadn't shown you the insights first and this now, you would have run already. Now, because you found something which no other shot can tell you, you're stuck. Because you found the version of yourself, now you cannot even fully doubt. We've tried various things and but you did not find them. So those who had this insight, and it's my blessing and hope of course that all of you have, then you make it worse for yourself. He's made us see something which nobody else may receive. It is me. It's become so apparent to us that it is beyond time and space. My reality is beyond this universe. I found that it's not just a concept or a beautiful scriptural verse that I've memorized; it is my living discovery.

And now he's saying empty yourself, die unto yourself while you are alive. Make that which you are discovering the only center around which your life revolves. To give yourself some service to that one. And all of that is in spite of the fact that if I ask any of you, besides that one, who else is here? So who is this instruction for? You see that one which is getting poked? This part, really, I have found that only God is. So I'm saying follow that, right? Follow that presence unceasingly. You say, 'But there is nobody else, who is to follow that one?' And I say, this one that asks this question, I'm confusing one more time. Okay, third time.

As a child, you're coming to the discovery. Discover non-duality. There's only one. Even the Oneness of it is just for the use of words. Sages say, 'No two.' I am saying to you that whatever you take yourself to be, let that one be in service to that which you are discovering, because that is only one. You're saying, 'Why should I follow anything because I am that itself?' So who is this instruction for? It is for the one who is saying that, 'Why should I follow anything?' because this one has to be submerged in the reality of you. Otherwise, we'll keep playing whack-a-mole with this one my whole life. Thank you. Very good. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you. Blood gurus today.