Return Home to God’s Light, Stay with Him - 2nd February 2024

Namaste, Father. Namaste. You know, there was a photo that came through on WhatsApp of David saying—hang on, let me make sure I can see you—Dava saying, 'Nothing matters except for what the Guru tells you to do.' Yeah, and it just stopped me because I'm seeing so clearly how much many other things seem to matter in the course of a day besides staying here. And I just felt to expose that. And yeah, there's just a desire for forgiveness. There's been such a blessing that's been given to this life, and to forget it even for a moment just flies in the face of the gift, you know? It just hurts. So I just felt to share that.

Yeah, you completely... yes, yes. It's very good. But that is also... it's very good. Everything you said is very good. And that is the very nature of Maya. The very nature of this appearance is to try and keep away from His presence, His light in your heart, and to make that seem unreal, far out, distant, even conceptual, notional. When we are caught up in the world, God seems just at best an idea, you see? When we are caught up in the things of the world, God seems like a distant notion. But when we live in the way of the heart, then His reality is apparent to us. The truth of His presence is apparent to us. And this world, this realm of appearances, is just coming and going. It doesn't seem to have the solidity that it once did. And this switch is not a one-time switch. This switch is moment to moment. So you can recognize that you are the pure awareness that is aware even of the presence of being. You may have no doubt about it this moment, but in the next moment something tempts you from the mind. And when you take yourself to be the central character of this narrative which the mind is proposing, then what happens to that presence?

It feels... it's no longer... it's literally as if it never existed. It's unbelievable. It's like God's magic. It's just completely gone.

Exactly, exactly. That is the nature of this Maya. That although nothing ever happened to the presence, nothing ever happened to that pure awareness which you are, and yet when we are caught up in the mind, when we take the story to be true, then it seems as if all that is lost and it seems as if the 'me' is real and the world is real. The way it happens to...

Oh, excuse me. You... sorry, sorry. I know there's a bit of a lag. So I was just asking, what are the tools you're using to make sure that you're not caught up in this play and you remain in God's presence?

The... what helps when it's remembered is: 'Can this be touched? Can this be touched? Can this that I am be touched?' And often that's... a reorientation occurs. There are you... are you waking up to God?

Yeah, that's beautiful. It's kind of like... that's... I don't quite even know how to describe that. It's just a ready... just being in God's lap. Just a sense of warmth and presence and sweetness. Very good, very good. You know, you'll notice that early in the morning, the first thing the mind will try to take over, you see? You wake up and it's already telling you things to do, what you have to finish, to check your phone, to do various things. You see, it tries to build the persona very solidly as soon as possible. That's why I said that you don't leave your bed—and that's not literal, okay? If you need to go brush your teeth or do something, it's fine, don't have to worry. But literally, before you really start engaging with the world, before you get into any people situations, before you start replying to messages, just make sure that you are living in God's presence, that God's presence is palpable, it is apparent to you. And that along with that, it will be straightforward to notice that you are the Self which is aware even of this presence. So if you start your morning in this way, you see, then you've already got a head start compared to the mind. The mind is trying to... you know, I've told you often that the battle is for time. We all intend to live in God's light, we all want to be true to ourselves, but day after day time is going and soon it'll be over and the Maya would have won, the mind would have won. So the mind is the supreme trickster. The mind uses the evidence of this realm of experiences to convince of Maya's reality, and Maya is the greatest deceiver, the greatest con artist. So start your day in your satsang, in your own presence, you see? That is satsang, to be in the company of the truth. Start your day in that way and then as you start your activities, make sure that you are anchored. And I've given you a few tools to make sure that you're anchored throughout the day, see? So you could be anchored using your prayer, the Atma Darshan Samadhi prayer, or any mantra that appeals to you. You could use that to anchor you to the presence. Or you could just inquire every few minutes. Every few minutes remember to inquire and to return to the emptiness, return to the conceptual emptiness, return to the light of your being. Or just be anchored in an unconditional love. Find the presence of this unconditional love because that is so intimately connected to your being that if you remain in that presence of love, then God's presence cannot be far. It must be there. And it doesn't have to be that you have to pick and choose your tools, but just be careful of too much changing around. But find whatever resonates that anchors you to His presence. You already have a head start. You started, you didn't leave your bed till you came to Him. Then throughout the day we must live in His presence. Otherwise our spirituality doesn't really become a true spirituality; it only remains in the realm of an intellectual understanding or something that we find refuge in when we are in trouble. True spirituality is to live in spirit. So we must find that, and all the tools have been made available to you. And I'm happy to always discuss if you say that, 'I try using this, I feel this will work, but this is what happens, this is how the mind gets me.' I'm always happy to discuss and to see how we can help with that so that this time that we call human life, it doesn't just completely pass over like this. And you're right that there are very few who really have been provided... God's grace has brought them to such a direct ability to remain in His presence. So we must not waste that. You must not let that go. So when Ma said, she said what is most important is what your Master has told you. It is only because what the Master is telling you is to bring you to God or to get you to remain in God's light, you see? So what is most important, because the Master is constantly pointing us to that, is to spend our life, to spend whatever years we have in this body, to not forget Him, to not let go of Him. And when we do, which we will because Maya is so compelling, then we must return quickly to His light.

The hard... at this point, the hardest area, like what arises... you asked what is it that you're happy to discuss, what it is that kind of grabs attention and makes the forgetting possible. You were once on the phone with me—God bless your heart—during one of these nervous system attacks that come. And I've still been questioning: is it a medical thing? Is it a spiritual emergency thing, like a Kundalini thing? I don't know. But profound shaking, teeth chattering, body moving, my legs giving way. And the other night one occurred and I started tracing it back. I just took a moment and traced it back to when I could start feeling what here feels sort of like a dissociated state. I sometimes call it like the Advaita nightmare, like it's an aloneness that's not the real aloneness. It sees separation everywhere. And what I realized is that whatever that is that comes was believed to be spiritual clarity or vision, like a feeling of detachment, but it's not. It's not. It sees, you know, your husband watching, listening to football, and all the noise in the room the other day in the other room, that's a distraction from your remembrance and the house should be quiet. And it starts finding all this separation. And as soon as there was this belief in a separation between us—my husband is extraordinary, we love each other very much, he's in great support of satsang, he's not in it but he supports it completely—and so when I started tracking when something had created this distance... I'm going to sit on this couch and read Rahim after the rain meditation book, yes, and with each page something started feeling... I could feel something coming. Yes. And then it devolved into a full-fledged thing. And my husband held my hand and we just... I said over and over again, and he followed me. I said, 'Lord Jesus Christ,' and he'd say, 'Lord Jesus Christ.' 'Son of God,' 'Son of God.' 'Have mercy on...' Like it was like we're in... and I was shaking, I could barely get the words out. It was like something out of, I don't know, Poltergeist, you know, or The Exorcist or something. Meanwhile, I took medication. I don't know what it was that calmed it down, but they're really dramatic, Father. And I just... and there's so much fear in the system of it coming again, and is it going to happen again, and am I going to be on this medication for the rest of my life to calm my system down? And it becomes this whole... you can hear it right now, it becomes this whole thing. And there's very little surrender about it, you know? It's like, 'No, this needs to be over in order to feel God's presence. There's something wrong with this happening,' because the fear is so immense. I was going to mention it the other day when you were right before you introduced the breath exercise, because there's a woman in the sangha—I'm not sure if it's the same—but was describing some anxiety. This is anxiety to the... it's again quite traumatic. Anyway, I just wanted to share that because that's what tends to captivate attention most.

Yeah, yes. So thank you, thank you for sharing that. And the most auspicious thing to do—and I'm sure you can predict what I'm going to say in some way—that even for this, you see, even for this, what you are doing now is the only thing that will help, you see? So like one child asked me the other day that work, going to work really bothers me because the people are so worldly and I have to engage with them in this sort of way and...

Because that's what tends to captivate attention most. Yeah, yeah, yes. So thank you, thank you for sharing that. And the most auspicious thing to do—and I'm sure you can predict what I'm going to say in some way—is that even for this, you see, even for this, what you are doing now is the only thing that will help you, you see. So like one child asked me the other day that work, going to work, really bothers me because the people are so worldly and I have to engage with them in this sort of way, and before I know it, I'm stuck in that whole mindset and I start doing that. So how can what we are hearing in satsang help me when I'm there, you see? So I sort of reminded him that it is only moment to moment now. What you do even now in satsang, outside in your house, that is important. So if you get used to remaining and living in God's presence during the rest of the times when those situations are not happening, then it'll be easier even when those situations are happening, see? But the mind uses it exactly in the opposite way. It says, 'Till I can sort that out and I can remain in God's presence, then till then, what's the point?' you see. So you see the game? Yeah, it takes away time. It takes away time by getting you to worry about those things which are not present now, you see, which when you look at it, is only... they're as strong an experience as it is, the rest of life occupies much more time than those. Just, you know, what is it? An hour, two hours, three hours in a week? Exactly. And if you spend the rest of your life just worrying about those moments, then the mind has really won, isn't it? It creates that anxiety, creates those thoughts and those things, and then the two-punch is to try and get you to solve that even when it is not happening, see? Instead, we must stay with God with all our might, be grateful that it's not there at the moment, and even when it comes, just surrender to God. Just keep breathing and surrender it to God, you see. And we don't really need to identify too much what something is, because what can also be happening many times is some anxiety gets mixed with some... because of your inquiry, because of your sadhana, some spiritual experiences mixed with energetic systems like the Kundalini, Prana systems like the Kundalini. So it's best not to label too much, you see? It's best not to label too much, try to understand too much. Just keep following, keep remaining in God's presence, and in your heart it will all be clear. If it is spiritual, the point of anything spiritual is that it must bring you to God, see? In ninety-nine percent of spirituality in the world, that has been forgotten. So what happens is, 'I am chanting this some mantra, something, so that I am now spiritual.' So I'm just chanting the mantra and I'm now spiritual, but God is missing in that narrative, you see? Spirit, which is the presence of God, is missing in that narrative. So what happens is that if it is Kundalini, if it is something spiritual, then it must bring us to God. It cannot become a thing in itself; then it is not spiritual. Then it is just a worldly way to distract us. So all things that are truly spiritual must bring us to Spirit. And that seems like such an obvious thing to say, but if you look at more spirituality, it doesn't do that. So all spirituality, all pointers, everything that you have allegiance to in this life must bring you to God's presence; then it becomes a true spirituality.

May I ask you one more question?

Of course, of course.

So when these come... okay, let me stop you right there. Yeah, exactly. I was asking you a question about whether...

I promise we'll get... I know, I know, I know, I know. I just, let me just draw a contrast. I'm laughing with you. I'm just trying to draw a contrast in the sense that what is being shared in satsang is that the highest intelligence, the greatest one, the only true one in this universe, is available to us moment to moment. He is the source of all light, He's the source of all love, He's the source of all truth, He's the source of all justice. His presence is the presence 'I am.' The presence of being which you call 'I am' is Him. Whose presence is this? It's Him, see? He is here, you see. So we must find a way to increase our faith so much that that which is in our heart is more real to us than that which is either in our body or in front of our eyes, you see? That is faith. Faith means to trust your intuitive insight higher than what your senses and your mind is telling you. Now, I know for a fact that in your heart the truth of His presence is apparent. So if He is here, why are we not? So if Jesus was in front of you, Krishna was in front of you, Ram was in front of you, then would you say, 'Oh, when that happens, then what should I do?' How would you be so enthralled by His presence that nothing else seems important? And is that presence not there for you now, you see? So that which tells you, 'Yes, yes, there's the presence, it's my presence, it's just consciousness'—when we use the term like consciousness, we sort of make it scientific and academic and like a discovery. But He is a living being, He is a living reality, you see? Much more than somebody sitting in front of you, much more than the highest experience you can have through your senses. He is an actual being, He is an actuality as opposed to this Maya which is a coming and going. So what makes us value that which is visible more than value that which is invisible but is heartfelt, is known in the heart? What makes us value that more, you see? So what happens also is that, let me take like in your case this example: so if your body started shaking, everything was shaking, huh? Your mind says, 'See, see, see what's happening to you? This should not happen, you see? There's something wrong in this, you see.' So this is happening in the body and your mind is giving all this commentary. It's making you scared, it's doing all of that, you see? The fact is that all of this is still in the realm of perceptions, isn't it? Isn't it? So that presence which is perceiving all of these perceptions, is that hurt by this? Like, who does a perception hurt or affect in any way, huh? You see? So suppose—and I'm just exaggerating to make the point and it's not going to happen—but suppose that for the rest of your life your body had to shake like this and your mind had to attack you saying, 'This is not wrong, this is not right, this has to stop,' all of this stuff is happening, you see? And yet you found God. Isn't that a blessed life? Is that a horrible life or a blessed life?

Given the reality of it, I need to take a second before I answer. That's how strong it is, you know? I mean, I could just say, 'Oh, it's a blessed life,' but in reality the fear is extraordinary, you know? It's bringing tears now to the memory of it.

Yeah, yes, yes, yes. So contemplate that. Contemplate that because this is what the mind has, you see? Like in the remote controls these days, you have Netflix, you have Amazon Prime, you have all those directly, no? So there are some conditions which the mind has on direct, like speed dial, the channel to select. So each of us have some of those, you see, buttons which the mind can push. In your case, it may be this where the minute it starts offering you thoughts about this, 'No, no, no, it's going to come, it's going to happen like that,' then you start getting concerned. That condition seems so strong. But having spoken to you in one of those times, even in the midst of that, you had many moments where you were very, very good. You were very lucid, you were very... you were able to stay with the presence. It didn't grab you one hundred percent compared to what you probably think it did, you see? There were many times that we were just laughing at it. We were in conversation, we were just laughing at it many times, and we were able to get that distance even during that event. So we must not be so fearful of that. But the contemplation still remains that if it was to be like that and yet you could be in His presence, or you could have a completely calm body, completely calm life all the time, but there was no presence of God found, God seemed like a distant reality—what would you pick?

No question.

Exactly, exactly. So but to be able to live in God's presence, you see, and to not live in it because the mind scares us with thoughts about these things and about other things, you see, that would be a really wasted opportunity, isn't it?

Yeah, usually, which goes back to the first thing that I shared about the not wanting to waste this opportunity and seeing how frequently that can happen.

Yeah. So you must, we must commit. Commit now completely to live in God's presence, and fail and commit and fail, because the Maya is not going to give up because we commit, eh? So know that you will fail. The mind will offer us something, something will happen in relationship, something will happen in money, something will happen in the body that will seem real and we give this world a reality, you see? So that if you can call it failure, then that is to fail. But if we return, then that is not failing at all, you see? If you return to God's presence, then it's really not failing at all. But if we allow the mind to then give us the postmortem and to say, 'Ah, see, now you're not worthy. How many years are you doing this? You will never find God, you will never find the truth,' all this kind of stuff, then it is the one-two punch where the two-punch is really the knockout one. So God, God, God, Ram, Ram, Ram, Krishna, Krishna, Krishna, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus—whatever you're using, invoke Him with so much might. Invoke Him with every ounce of power that you have in your heart. Then tell me what else is important in this life. So every day wake up to God, wake up with God's presence, and then let that be your constant companion, your constant palpability of His presence. Let that be there with you all the time. And when we get caught up in the mind, then as soon as we notice, we drop and we return.

I feel it's really penetrating so deeply what you're saying about what we choose to have faith in, the visible or the invisible. And it's just very helpful. Amma gave me my name for a reason, you know, so that... and I don't think I'd ever really seen it that way. And that's another very powerful tool to use. So thank you for that this morning.

Yeah, very, yeah, very. Thank you. I'm very happy. Thank you, thank you. I'm very happy we had this conversation.

Me too.

Spirituality has to become fully alive moment to moment. Let go thought by thought and remain in the presence of the Self, the presence of God. Okay, let's go to Kunal. If you have any questions... we have some visitors in the room, we'll take questions. Hello, hello my dear. I was just saying that today we, instead of just... I know Friday is broadcast day, but if there are questions in the room, feel free to ask as well because we have some visitors. You as well.

Father, today I just wanted to ask for your blessing because I feel like on my own—if I even am on my own—I've been struggling a little bit to come moment to moment to that presence of God. I feel as though that through your grace I have met Him before or it has been revealed to me in a way, but lately it's been hard getting back to it moment to moment because of various things. I even had an instance where, like, I keep a picture of Krishna in my room and I got so angry that I threw His picture across the room and I cursed at Him. So I don't know, I don't want to behave like this, but that's what happened in that moment. So I don't want to be on His bad side now, you know?

No, no. Yeah, so it's important to recognize that it was in a fit of anger and you didn't really, you don't really mean any disrespect to God. And if that feeling is there and you're admitting that it was just something got you and you got into this fit of rage or whatever it was, and this even happened, then just bow to Him. And He's... God is a very loving Father. So unless the children are not learning from their mistakes, I don't feel like He has to really chop us a lot. So it's very good that you...

It is important to recognize that it was in a fit of anger and you didn't really—you don't really mean any disrespect to God. If that feeling is there and you're admitting that it was just something that got you, and you got into this fit of rage or whatever it was, and this even happened, then just bow to Him. God is a very loving Father, so unless the children are not learning from their mistakes, I don't feel like He has to really chop us a lot. So, it's very good that you brought this to satsang.

And you must commit with me today that you will not ever do this again because you have noticed that it was a mistake. And then we are committing together that this child didn't mean any harm; no disrespect was meant at all. And we bow down to His mercy, His grace for forgiveness. And may all that afflicts the child, may that be born here rather than in his innocence. In his innocence, he's made this error. May all that has to be faced happen here instead of for him—not that something has to happen, but whatever is His will.

So now let's return to what is really important, which is to remain in the truth, to remain in the presence of God. So leave that aside. That whole thing is my thing now, okay? You had nothing to do with it, so leave that aside now. What do you want to talk about? What got you into that kind of mental state?

Yeah, I can talk about it. I just was feeling like I didn't want my life going the way it was, and that I knew what is better for me right now as far as what's happening with me. A lot of change has been happening, you know, as far as my lifestyle. And I was very mad and, I don't know, I just—He was the first person I saw there, and He's the all-powerful, and I felt like, 'You're being unfair to me. I want to show You that, you know, You're being unfair.' And that's what I felt to do.

I immediately regretted it because I know it's all stemming from my me going here instead of here, but I just lost myself in it, Father. I didn't have any control. And it happens a lot of the times actually with other people too, so I'm not some angel, I know that.

That's all right. That's all right. None of us are. All of us are learning; all of us are a work in progress. I don't feel like anybody in humanity can say we are 100% living in God's light. I definitely cannot say that. I'm still learning. I'm still foolish in most things and, by His grace, He's leading me deeper into His light. But I'm not ashamed at all to admit to your children, to my children, my satsang, that this one is very, very foolish still. But the intention is to serve Him better, to live in His light more and more, and that's all I have to offer, and that's all that really we can do.

So the thing with these things is that the mind forces us into this kind of thing and then gives us the regret and guilt, and you know, we keep thinking about that. So the mind has won both ways; it's like a win-win situation for the mind. So what you have to do is now forget about that. You forget that that incident happened, but reaffirm your commitment to not leave His presence, come what may, okay? Reaffirm that deeply, that you will remain in His presence in your heart.

And this doesn't mean that no other thing will happen in the future. It will happen to all of us, you see. We will—like I've been saying since the beginning of satsang—Maya will compel us, you see. It's not going to lose its power. But our job is to return quickly home as soon as we notice. As soon as we notice, to return home, and then our life becomes more and more Godly, lived in God's presence, lived in God's presence.

So I'm very happy you exposed this in satsang in front of everyone, and now you must just leave it aside. It's all mine to deal with, so you don't have to worry about that at all. But if your mind offers you anger, you see, and that seems to get you often, then I can tell you that I've really contemplated this deeply for many years and anger never leads to any good outcomes. Anger doesn't lead to any good outcomes.

So just remain in your heart, and from there assertiveness can come, action can come, which may seem authoritative in the world, but not from a state of mental oppression. Being angry is being completely overtaken by the mind in that moment. So we must return to God's light, and from there, if God is commanding us like Krishna did to Arjuna saying we must attack, then that is different from moving in anger. From being in anger, there can be a certain resoluteness that comes; there can be a certain strength that comes from God's will.

So we don't have to become sheepish all the time; that is not necessarily God's will, you see. Allow Him to guide you moment to moment how your life has to move, okay? Very good.

Thanks, Ananta.

You're very welcome, my child. Very welcome. And I truly appreciate your honesty and integrity that you brought this up in satsang. Very good, very good. Thank you. Yes, our spirituality has to go deeply. This infection of God's love has to infect us deeper and deeper. We are so immersed in that, that the mind's attractions, the mind's temptations seem weaker and weaker. It may not fully go away, but let it work really hard to tempt you.

Most of us lead these repetitive lives where the mind keeps offering us the same thing and we keep falling for the same thing. If it is happening in the world that you fell for a trick on April Fool's Day, but you keep falling for that same trick every day, you see, or a friend of yours kept doing that, what would you tell them? There must be a point where you stop getting fooled in that way, isn't it? So when the mind also brings us the same things, do not make it so easy for the mind.

And the thing is that the mind doesn't have many tricks. It's very, very tricky, it's very, very devious, it's very smart, but it has four main buttons, and all the tricks are around those four main buttons. What is number one button?

Relationships. Relationship. Health. Money. Any search for meaning or the—yes, exactly. The trying to find like a conceptual idea of freedom. Like everyone goes on this search for purpose and meaning, but mostly they relegate it to just being me.

Is it? Are the four main things? Imagine if the next life is going to have sixteen variables like this. We feel like we're in a very complex Maya right now. Maybe just kindergarten, just the first level, man. Only four things. Is it not like kindergarten? The same button the mind presses for everyone. Relationship problem: 'Why can't my partner be like this? When will I find my soulmate?' This kind of thing. These kind of things will come. It makes it all look very good from a distance. So it's a very, very devious but very simplistic, very primitive tool, the mind. Is it not? What is some fresh thing that it offers us to make us suffer which is outside the—?

Yeah, so it's offering you this now. It category meaning the enlightenment, the freedom. Like we want a permanency in our freedom, we want a permanent sense of meaning. And when we are spiritual, it pushes that button. The spiritual ego gets built on a spiritual understanding or how we must be spiritually. So that's a very potent identity as well.

But empty of all of this right now, let me ask you: what is not in Maya? What is not in Maya?

Awareness. Not and being.

How is this being not in Maya? Everything that is worldly is in Maya. And you're saying that there's a presence, there's a presence. What is the nature of this presence? Is it worldly or Godly? Why is it looking like I've given such a difficult 'why' question? You've talked about this out of satsang. Is the presence of God worldly or Godly?

Godly.

And yet it's got a primordial vibration so that even those who feel that they're in the world can access this in the form of the hand of God, you see, which seems like it appears within the world to pull us into that which is non-phenomenal, beyond phenomena. Because before coming to this, even the notion of non-phenomenal—if you talk to your friends about that which is non-phenomenal, they'll tell you to shut up, isn't it? Unless they really enjoy like intellectual conversation like, 'Oh, the noumenon and the phenomenon,' you see, like this. There are some people who enjoy that.

But to come to that is not possible without first meeting the primordial vibration of being, isn't it? The sense of being within yourself. That is the Satguru presence. That Satguru presence is the most valuable thing in the world because the Guru is the bringer of light. But this light shines a light on that which is unperceivable. There is no other light which does that but the Satguru within. So that is why the Satguru presence, the Atma, Holy Spirit, God's light, whatever you want to call it, it's unique because although we can meet it, we can meet its presence in our heart, it is not worldly.

The tip of the iceberg above the surface of the non-phenomenal, there's a primordial vibration which you can meet and follow to its source. And as you follow that, you meet yourself, that which is the eternal witness of all these universes. That is why it's beautiful that Atma is not objective. Like if Atma was like water, like in the Greeks or in the Upanishad times we tried to give some nature or substance-like notion to reality. Some said it is Agni, it is fire; some said it is water. So if Atma was like water, then would it be fine? I don't know if I'm even framing the question correctly.

See, if it is purely objective, then this could not lead you to that which is beyond phenomenon. It could lead you to higher tastes; you could have some special water which gives you some unique experiences. But objective things lead to more objective things. So we must find something which is beyond the object and yet can be met in some way. It has to have that primordial vibration nature so that universally in humanity we can meet it in some way. We don't have to come to some special situations and workshops and things like that to just dive into the non-phenomenal directly. Meet it. It's universal. It's accessible to everyone.

Such a beautiful place it is, that within this realm of Maya there's an alarm clock, there's a hand of God, there's the tip of the iceberg which you really follow. The endeavor to go to its source will lead you to the highest truth. Where is it most intimate to you? What is most intimate right there? That is your presence. What are you first aware of? That you are, you see. And even if you ask, 'Whose presence is this?' it'll lead you beyond the realm of objects. It cannot be more beautifully designed than this. God has done this so beautifully.

If we turn towards Him, we may not understand anything. That's why Maharaj said, 'I didn't read any books. I didn't read any books. I was not literate,' which I find difficult to believe now, of course. But he said, 'My master just told me: be with the presence of being.' And that's what he did with the innocence of a child constantly. He said, 'I was shaving, I was with the presence. I was in my shop selling bidis, I was in the—I was just in the presence.' He said in three years it all became clear.

Of course, that three years used to irritate me because I couldn't find the presence for three seconds those days. But all of you don't have that excuse. You've met His presence. You've met His light. Is there a better way to spend this moment than with Him? Tell me one better way. Suppose if you were to meet the most powerful person in this universe, the most beautiful person, eating the most tasty food, listening to the most beautiful music—what can be higher than spending this moment with Him?

Why are these reminders needed? Because this is what Maya tempts us with: 'Do this, improve this, do that, make your life better and better,' you see, and then die. Game over. No. So we must break that pattern. Return home to God's light, stay with Him. And the good news is that God and truth are the same. So some of us have some childhood conditioning where we ended up hating the word God or disliking or had an aversion to the word God—then dedicate your life to the truth. You'll come to the same place.

Spending this moment with him—why are these reminders needed? Because this is what Maya tempts us with: do this, improve this, do that, make your life better and better, you see? And then die. Game over. No. So we must break that pattern, return home to God's light, stay with him. And the good news is that God and Truth are the same. So some of us have some childhood conditioning where we ended up hating the word God or disliking or had an aversion to the word God; then dedicate your life to the truth. You'll come to the same thing. But you cannot say, 'I don't like God' and also 'I'm happy to live the lie,' you see? Both ways you can't have it then, because you come to the company of Truth, satsang. So whether we say we come to the company of the truth or to the company of the one that is true, it is the same thing.

Almost every day I hear from some of you saying, 'This situation, this situation, this situation,' and my advice usually is what? Return to your heart, return to God's presence, return to your intuitive inside, you see? And is it that I just say that and I'm not giving you any tools as to how to do that? You have the tools, isn't it? You can inquire, you can pray, you can chant, you can remain in unconditional love. So you have no excuse really. And why I'm telling you this is not to make you feel guilty or anything like that, just so that you can let this mind just go. You said yourself this moment spent with God is the highest use of this moment, yes or no? Yes. And you have the tools to be able to do that now. So then what is the excuse?

I'm trying to make this a living reality for you and not just like a discourse or a conversation which is about spirituality. It must become the goal of our life. But if your life is going to be 'me, me, me' and God also for me, then you have it upside down and it's never going to work like that. 'I pray to God so much, see what happened, he's not even helping me.' What ability do we have to even make that judgment? First is, what entitles us? But suppose, okay, something entitles us, then what ability do we have to make a judgment about what God is doing to us? And this is a continuation of what we were talking with Kunal also, that our intellect is so tiny. Name one thing that you really know in your intellect that you can bet your life on. In your intellect, just nothing. We don't know anything at all. It is just human pride to say so.

When we sit in judgment of God, that's what the ego wants to do: bring us to a place where we can judge even God. 'Why does God do this? Why doesn't he help these people? Why is he doing this in my life?' But what capacity do you have to understand his judgment, his way? We don't have it in the intellect. So we must let go of all of this. Let go of our pride. To recognize our foolishness is very important, huh? It's very important because we are full of nonsense about ourselves as humans. We don't know how to move a finger. I keep saying this: we don't know how to move a finger and we take so much pride in things we've done.

Some of you are new, so let me explain what I mean. You may say, 'I know how to move a finger here,' but then I say, 'How did you do it?' Then you will say, if you studied science or something, you will say, 'Oh, you know, the brain has to fire some neurons, those neurons activate the nervous system which activate the nerve endings and make the finger move like that.' And I asked many people this: 'Do you know how to fire a neuron? How do you get your brain to fire a neuron?' Nobody knows. Only Consciousness does it. And I used to quote this BBC study that they said before we even decide to do an action, 15 seconds before that, the nervous system is already getting activated. So what is the sham that we play of control, of doing, doing, doing so much? You don't know anything at all about how any of this is functioning.

So to sit in judgment of God, I realize it comes from an innocence, but we must now look into that. He is the one who is giving us every breath, every heartbeat. He's the one that keeps all this play moving. So don't waste your time in the intellectual games. Either discover the truth fully for yourself or surrender to his light, to his presence. Both lead to the same. Who are we serving? Almost in the very first satsang that I shared, God put these words in this mouth saying, 'Who is this me?' And if you can produce this me, you can win a lottery, you can win $1,000. Nobody has produced this me in 12 years. Where is this me? The mind says, 'Here, this body.' But do you really take yourself to be this body? And if you did, why are you here? For a body, you come to satsang? Nothing here for the body.

So you take yourself to be a work of fiction which is made up of fiction, which is made up of believed notions. 'Me, this is me, I am like this, I am good, I am a man, I'm spiritual,' or 'I'm this way.' Just a bundle of concepts. And if you believe a hundred ideas that you were a caterpillar, you will start believing that also. If you believed a thousand ideas that you are a caterpillar who is mistakenly in a human body, you'll get that caterpillar identity also. So this 'me' is a work of fiction. So that's why it is so beautiful what was said: Maya is 'me.' That 'me' comes when 'me, me' comes; it is Maya. Without 'me,' Maya has no power.

When will we leave it? When will we leave it? When can it be done? Can we make a five-year plan to leave this 'me'? No, it has to be now. Now. What are you scared of? What holds you back? What keeps you from fully committing to God? If you truly investigate that, you'll find that it's nothing that you're doing anyway. In a way, it's none of your business anyway. You may say, 'Oh, I can't leave this me fully because I have to take care of my family.' Who is taking care of your family? If you really investigated, you'll find that it is him. What holds us back? Investigate that and leave it, because it is nonsense.

If you spend this whole life serving this 'me,' what good will come out of that? Nothing good will come out of that. And you know what you'll have to end up doing when it's time for the body to go? You will have to make statues to yourself, you will have named buildings in your own name, hoping that somebody will remember the good things you did. But that identity will be gone, that body will be gone. Whose name is everybody celebrating? Find that Eternal one who has a thousand names, and any name that you truly call him with, he hears you. Find that one. Look beyond your belief, because if you keep exploring just the realm of your belief, you can always say, 'I don't believe anything you're saying.' I am saying to you, I don't need your belief, but are you willing to explore for yourself what is true without making a prison of beliefs around yourself?

So a Gyani, a yogi, is a true explorer. Know truth at all costs, beyond what our own mind tells us, beyond what our own intellect tells us. The true search for truth is Gyan yoga. Bhakta is love at all costs, love at all costs. And when love is unconditional, then it is love for God. But give your life either way, either for truth or for God. Both are the same ultimate. Satyam Shivam Sundaram, all the same. Satyam is the truth, Shivam is God, Sundaram is true beauty. You meet pure, true beauty only in pure perception, uncontaminated by interpretation and judgment. Okay, let's go to the next question.

Anu, thank you. Can you hear me? She comes every week, every week determined to be serious. 'This week I will be serious.' What is the serious question?

Yes, Ananta. This question I've really been holding for a long time now. I couldn't share it. I don't know, it's kind of related with your conversation with Shai. It is about bodily symptoms. I understood all the conversation, but still I feel I have to say it out loud at least once to share with you what's going on here. Sometimes when I am in deep meditation, there is some kind of things coming out from my body, but I cannot call it like a human voice. It's kind of really like a deep evil laugh, like kind of exhales. It's some demonic, I don't know what it is. And I don't know, it's not me, but it's still here, it is still coming out from this body. And I don't feel behind it any emotion or anything. It just sometimes scares me because I feel it's kind of like an obsession. Or even after when this happened, the mind can play that game that something is taking over me and it's kind of demonic sometimes. And this has been with me for a long time now. And yeah, I just wanted to let you know about it. I want to know that it's all good and okay and nothing to worry about.

Okay, thank you. Thank you for sharing this. And you know, the one that we are talking about, in India we have a lot of different ways to look at that one. Because it's so difficult in the human condition to directly associate to the formless, we have so many ways in which we associate with God and we have many, many of these expressions that we relate to as God, for whom all of these energies, all of these appearances, all of these things are nothing. They're peanuts. I don't know if you've seen a representation of Kali? Have you seen Ma Kali's representation in Indian spirituality?

Yes, yes.

So very scary. She has all around her all these demons dying. Not that I'm giving any credence to all of these things; we don't have to worry so much about these things. But even in traditional representations, the sages are trying to show us that we don't need to worry about any of this if we are with God, you see? So whatever your mind is offering you—'Oh, suppose it is this, suppose it's like that, suppose I'm possessed in some way'—it doesn't matter, because the one that we are speaking of, for him all of these universes are tiny, tiny toys, you see? So all these small things, we don't have to worry about.

That's why these representations of God are there. So if we have these worries, the mind sells us these stories, then we have these representations of God where we see that God is all-powerful. Kali will take care of everything. You don't have to worry. Just don't get distracted from God in your heart. Let the world show whatever it has to show. And once these things are faced, like you're doing now, very good, once these things are faced, then you will see that they are nothing at all. Not even worth spending a minute thinking about these things. Are you trying not to laugh? She decided today...

And then... thank you. When the constrictions that bind us in our mind get released, you see, at least for the moment, then it's natural for these kind of things to come. Bless you, thank you. Okay, let's go to Samia.

I think I allow so much my mind to wander recently, which is okay now because I see it and even while it does, it's like I'm allowing this. I don't know why.

Yes, yes, yes. So just to make sure I heard you correctly—the line is a bit patchy—but you said that you're seeing that when you're in the mind, something really loves that, you see? Something even loves that a lot, like that? No?

Not loves, wanders.

Ah, when you go to the mind...

When I go, I mean mind is complaining and it's just like I'm allowing it and I'm in that allowing, allowing.

This allowing is what we are attempting to step back from, break the pattern of allowing the mind to hypnotize us. So what happens when the mind tells us a story and we say we allow it? We're actually giving it our acceptance, isn't it? So that is the hypnosis. And in the hypnosis of the mind, what happens is we take ourselves to be this body-mind entity. And anyone who tries to tell us, 'But you're not this body-mind,' seems like they are attacking us, isn't it?

I don't know about the attacking part. I mean, I don't suffer from it, Father, anymore. Like I can truly say that I don't suffer anymore from anything, like any kind of mind state. But what I feel like is I'm wasting my time. I have so much free time, I'm completely free, I'm just wasting...

So that is the hypnosis. And in the hypnosis of the mind, what happens is we take ourselves to be this body-mind entity, and anyone who tries to tell us, 'But you're not this body-mind,' seems like they are attacking us, isn't it?

I don't know about the attacking part. I mean, I don't suffer from it, Father, anymore. Like, I can truly say that I don't suffer anymore from anything, like any kind of mind state. But what I feel like is I'm wasting my time. I have so much free time. I'm completely free. I'm just wasting my time by being in that state, and it seems like there is no aim or like urge within me to stay with that presence anymore. This is where I'm like, I don't get out of the mind because I don't feel any aim or anything to get out of it. And I'm just wasting my time for some time here. And yeah, because I don't want to, I wanted to come and ask for your help. I don't know, just this. Yeah, I don't know if I said why I'm doing it, but yeah, I cannot find any aim. Yes, this is the thing. Yeah, yes. I mean, when I was suffering, there was an aim to get out of that suffering, but because I'm not suffering anymore, I cannot see any aim, you know, to just abide in. I don't know, maybe my mind is cheating me there, like there is nothing there, so just enjoy this comfort. I'm just enjoying the comfort, but it's not real enjoyment at all. I always want to be here where there is no suffering. I'm comfortable, nothing bothers me, nothing at all, but I'm just too comfortable now, just too comfortable. And I don't like to be there anymore. And yeah, I would love to take a step and to, yeah, come in and just bring this to you.

I'm reminded of a scene from a movie. See if that helps in some way in this conversation. So, have you seen this one, The Matrix? The first one. No, I feel like this one is in the first one where there's a character—I don't remember his name—where he says, 'I know that all of this is a computer program. It's all fake. I know all of this is fake, but I'm comfortable. I'm enjoying the wine, I'm eating my steak. Why do I have to leave?' And then he's already been told that in the movie, reality is very stark. You don't have any special benefits, nothing, you see. You probably don't have this kind of comfortable life; there's no wine, there's no steak, you see. So this character says, 'Then why should I leave this false computer program if I'm comfortable here?' You see? So then the question really—I don't know what happened in the movie, I don't remember that much—but the question really is: how much is the Truth worth? And are we willing, for the sake of being comfortable, just to live in the untruth because it seems comfortable now? There is no suffering also, so I'm fine. Yeah. Are you willing to spend the rest of your life in an untruth because it seems comfortable now?

I don't know about the untruth part, but I can say that I'm not enjoying it. Yes, it is comfortable, but there's no life here.

Yes. So where can we go? Yes, where do we go to find true life? Where do we go to find true life?

We are coming to satsang to you and yeah...

But just by coming to satsang and coming to environments like this—it doesn't have to be with me—but if nothing changes for us inwardly, then can we even call it satsang? Like, there are many children who may come—and you're not one of them—but there are many children who may come who may never really understand the project, as I call it. Like, what are we really doing in satsang? That may never penetrate because I've noticed that Maya also plays with words. So I'm saying ABC, but Maya makes you hear XYZ. So we can't even be sure that you're hearing what is being shared. So just by coming externally to an environment of satsang is not yet satsang, isn't it? But you've come to, in the past also, true satsang. So how is that different? Have you experienced true life in your life ever?

When you say life, it comes the time, but I, yes, of course I, thank God, I did. I am, yeah, yes, yes, yes.

So, so what stops us from being in that true life now? You don't have to answer the question, but why should I? I don't even need to get over my suffering now. See, you don't even need to answer that. Just because it is true, it is enough, no? Why would we want to live a lie? It is... this is what happens if you talk to... yeah, it's good, it's good, my child. We're just contemplating together, don't worry. So, like most of the people we meet in the world, you see, and we try and talk to them, if we try to even broach the subject of God, most of their response is, 'But why should I? I'm fine. If it helps you, you please do it. I'm fine.' So what should we tell them?

I'm sorry, Father, my attention went. May you please say?

Yes, I'm saying that mostly when we talk to people who are not into spirituality, who are not living in God's light, and we try to invite them into this way of life, they will say what? They will say, 'I'm fine. I'm not suffering. I enjoy this.' Or even if I don't enjoy this world, I have no intention to go to God because what will you get over there? See? And if you tell them, 'Because it's worth it, just because it's true,' usually it doesn't hit home. But for children who are in satsang, that answer must be more heartfelt, isn't it? Why should we lead a life in God's light if you're not being troubled in the worldly life? It's a very good contemplation. If you're completely fine in the worldly life, why so it for God?

It's, I don't know, like it's impossible for me to not live in the God's light.

Yes, exactly. Exactly. Because it has become natural to you. Just like love is natural to us. Why should we love? We talked about the problems, number one problem: relationships. So why should we love? This is natural for us to love. Why should we live in God's light? Because really, it is natural for us to live in God's light. Why should we seek for the truth? Because it is natural for us. That is more than enough answer for the 'why.' It's not necessarily for the end of suffering, although initially many of you may say that, 'I came to come to the end of my suffering.' Okay, suppose that reason goes away. Because the reason goes away, should we drop also living in God's light? No, we can't.

Could be because of him, or could just be a mind trick. Could be a mind trick which is saying this is like, see, but you're fine in a few weeks. Yeah, I don't know what to say more, but like one part of me really enjoys that whatever my mind may speak so negatively, the situation around me may not seem so like beautiful as I was in satsang, but one part of me enjoys to not being so affected by anything happens outside. Because before it was like, see, everything was affecting me. But now, even though my mind is very negative, it's like I'm enjoying that, 'Oh, it can be like this, but I'm still, I'm not suffering.' I don't know, maybe this is also why I'm giving a little bit of space to that. I just, it came to me just now, I don't know. But still, like this, just so alive heart. So, Father, you say something.

No, no, I was saying it's good we had this conversation because it's a good contemplation. Because we cannot always rely on the notion of suffering, that 'I want to be free from suffering.' Because even in that, it is just God for me. Why should I find God so that 'me' can come to the end of suffering? There comes a point where it just becomes God for God's sake and Truth for Truth's sake, even if there was no other benefit to it.

Yeah, maybe I'm at this stage now, like I don't know what to do and I don't see why I'm not... why I'm not concerned.

You know why I'm not concerned? Is because in spite of whatever you're saying, you're in satsang.

Of course. Come to... of course. Where I will go there? Like, of course I am, I mean, at least...

Yes, yes, yes, yes. But there are many who were in who then feel that it's okay that we are human at the end of it and worldly life is the only reality, you see. So they, they stop coming to satsang. That is when we have to worry. For you, I'm not worried because even this you bring to satsang. That's good.

Maybe I'm just forget... no, no, no. Yeah, of course, Father. But still this, this prayer also, it came to me yesterday: I don't want to waste my time with like, I don't know, I don't feel like I'm using it so well. Because such a Grace, like God gifted me such a free time, Father. I don't have to work, I don't have to do anything, no one bothers me. It's just such an incredible blessing and really God gifted me, and health also. I'm just incredibly grateful. But I feel like recently I'm just so complacent and I, I don't really use them so well. But I really would love to use them well. I mean, I did not... I don't know if the prayer is enough, but I just want to ask for help, even inwardly, for me to really use that well because I'm complacent. So yeah.

The prayer more than... it is more than all. Sincere prayer is more than... and yes, like this, this thing also I heard from Guruji, it touches my heart when he says, 'When God gives you bread, don't wait for to make it yourself.' I don't know, I also felt to pray because I'm still waiting for to... I don't know what does it mean really now why I'm saying this, but I just say...

Please say. Sorry, Father, for...

I know there's some lag today, it's not a good internet connection. I was just saying that to pray for the toast is to make the toast. Okay? To pray for the toast is to make the toast. To inquire into the nature of the bread is to make the toast. To commit your life to serving the bread is to make the toast. All of these tools are to make the toast. To live in humility, to let go of pride and to live in humility is to make the toast. It's all good. It's all good.

Thank you so much, Father. Thank you. And I just want to thank you for the kindness of God and yes, the mercifulness of Him. I'm so, so, so touched recently. Like, whatever I do, He never ever give up to be so kind and merciful. And I'm just so enjoying to see this. Just thank you for everything. Thank you. Thanks for you. Good for...

Okay, I'll just read this contemplation. 'Father, I have been contemplating unconditional love. This kind of love does not have an opposite. Yes, like being doesn't have an opposite. Unconditional love and being seem to be the only real things that don't have an opposite. Unconditional love is a gift from God, or is it God? The line is super blurry. Maybe it's not important to know. Like a baby is not actively loving, but they are love and they invoke love in others without having to try. Is it being or slightly different from God? Just contemplating what true love actually is. If love had an opposite, it would be hate, but love could be hate and hate could be love in another world. But this love doesn't have an opposite.' It's a beautiful contemplation. Beautiful contemplation. You having this question, this contemplation with another child also, and it's very beautiful. The only thing I would say is that love is so intimately connected with God, so deeply connected with God, but it is God that makes love love. Love doesn't make God God. So we must love God with all our heart, with all our mind, but God is beyond all things that we can fathom, even the most subtle, the deepest, most primal things like love itself. But keep going. Don't stop at this answer. Allow your heart to reveal more and more. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Satguru Mooji Baba Ki Jai. Guru Kripa Kevalam. Om Shanti Shanti Shanti.