May You Find That Which Is Beyond the World – Blessed Christmas - 25th December 2019

So to have insight about this, to come to this truth as your living insight, is called satsang. And everything that points you to this eternal home is sat, and everything that identifies you with this kingdom of objects is not. Satsang is not really a place or an environment; it is those rules that you leave for yourself to come home. So how can we come back home to a home that we never leave? Just like sitting here, you can imagine that you are in some other strange world, and you are reminded that that imagination is not real. You have never left this place. In the same way, you come to this realization: we have never left your true home. All of this is just in our head. Your physical health is just also in your head. All the normal—where are you watching this world from? Is it from the kingdom of objects? Where are you watching this world from? What you're watching is the world of objects. Which world are you looking out from and seeing this world? Try to jump out of there into this world. Do it. Can you jump out of wherever you're watching all of this from and jump into this world? Do it. You can only believe that you have. And in a way, all beliefs are that belief. All the ways in which you define yourselves is just that misidentification as what you are perceiving instead of that which is the very light of perception.

So the way is very simple. It's implemented. Nothing to do. A struggle is all filled. To struggle means we already must have an idea of where we want to go, what something must be. It is impossible to struggle unless you have a plan. If you have a plan for freedom, you will struggle. If you have no plan, nowhere to get to, not concerned with anything that may appear or disappear, is it not apparent to you that you are just aware? And is it not apparent to you that not only are you aware, there is nothing to do besides this awareness itself? And if you don't want to use this discovery in some way, if you didn't want anything out of this, then most vocally we see that there is awareness itself and the motion of desire does not pollute here, cannot penetrate into this reality. And without desire, we cannot struggle. We have only imagined that we are bound, that we are stuck in this world. No bondage has ever happened with the prison of ideas which we believed will help us, but actually it only seems to bind us.

So in your heart, in the heart of consciousness, when there seems to rise this longing to just come home, just come back to the truth, to the end of this play, no power in the world can stop that. Focus on that because your reality is where you are already. So when this inexpressible desire, not for anything in this world, arises in our heart, it only longs for the company of the truth, to come to the truth of what it is. Then there is no journey left at all. For God's sake, total. And it will confuse. When the desire is it for something in this world, and maybe it is a bit confusing to the intellect and therefore remains the inexpressible, and many will confuse that as a desire to come home. When you confuse that as a desire to come home, that's why the departure will seem longer because we still—what we want is the bells and whistles in this worldly play. So it is not necessary that if the longing or desire is inexpressible, it was before the truth. And that actually gets clarified once you come to satsang: what do you really want?

So you can have this inexpressible longing for just this worthless, worthless reality, or you may have some conceptual motion which may be confusing you and therefore you are not finding yourself articulate enough to express them. Now as you come to satsang, there comes a point where you will really, really realize there is truly nothing in this for me. There is truly nothing in this for me. It is only for that truth which has remained unchanged anyway. Of this I have no doubt, of this no hesitation in making this claim: that if you just want the truth of what you are, the reality of your eternal Self, then it is available to you in every satsang. But if freedom is just an idea that you have that leads to some other phenomenal perks, you will realize that there is no interest here at all in any of that. And many will keep hearing this and thinking, 'He's not really telling us the full story, there must be something that I will find.' But it is not that. It is not to help our idea of what we think we are. We are special enough already; we don't need anything more to make us any more special.

So in satsang this play gets clarified a bit. And if you really want to be saved, if you truly want to leave this kingdom of God irrespective of how this world of objects plays out, if that is here for you now, but whatever else you may like this is about, it is just not it. So if your heart is clear, then your own inner insight becomes laser-pointed. If you are still confused and diluted by worldly desire, then it can feel like your inner insight is blurry. So maybe I can give you some simple advice about this: don't expect any worldly outcome from satsang. Don't expect any worldly outcome from satsang, not even what you are feeling, because even that is the worldly outcome. Now if it seems impossible to drop all expectations of worldly outcome, then keep expectations of worldly outcomes to things or activities in the world. But in your spiritual lives, in what you're hearing in satsang, don't expect that to lead to anything beyond. No pearls, no benefits, not even peace. Don't expect anything out of this because that means it makes that which is the most obvious seem most obscure.

There's nothing very clearly that the way to come to an end of the cycle of birth and death, the cycle of suffering, is to come to true self-knowledge. But the only precondition to self-knowledge is we must let go. Let go of our attachment to actions and their fruits, actions and outcomes. And we must apply that to our spiritual endeavor especially. So if you feel like coming to satsang is an action and therefore you have an attachment to that action and its fruits, that you expect to be—that we expect to find something as a result of that—then that precondition is not met. So if you cannot apply it to your entire life, at least apply it to coming to satsang. As at the time you're going to play, you're not expecting to build your muscles, you're not expecting to get a return gift, you're not expecting to win your play, you're not saying, 'Oh, can I keep this fun that I'm having for when I'm doing homework later?' So you just enjoy moment-to-moment whatever is showing up. You're not burdening yourself with past and future, production and inaction, cause and effect. Notice in the playground, no child is also saying, 'Am I having fun? Am I having fun? Is it working? Am I there yet?' No, no. We're not trying to hold on to something. Fully, freshly open. And then this freshness, in this openness, what you are is completely clear to you. Completely here in the true place. And what is the true place is also completely clear. But the minute you try to intellectualize any of this or conceptualize any of this, it seems to be—it's no longer play now.

So what this effort do when you allow things to come and go? This requires also the detection of all those thoughts. Some thoughts go unnoticed. So is there an effort to identify all thoughts? Use the down which had gone unnoticed. Many thoughts go unnoticed, many, many thoughts. Then you will have an attraction for our attention for bit about...

And what is to take place is also completely clear. But the minute you try to intellectualize any of this or conceptualize any of this, it seems to be—it's no longer play now. So, what does this do? When you allow things to come and go, this requires also the detection of all those thoughts. Some thoughts go unnoticed. So, is there an effort to identify all thoughts? You say, 'Many thoughts go unnoticed.' Many, many thoughts. Then you will have an attraction for our attention for a bit about identification or belief, so that we'll lose our motives. Please, allow them to go unnoticed. We don't have to bother with any attack; we don't have to bother with any intent.

Then you say also, 'Is self-inquiry different from being open and empty?' In a way, yes; in a way, no. But let me explain the 'yes' part. The 'no' part is almost impossible to explain. The 'yes' part is that being open and empty is what I call the prerequisite to inquiry. As you are open and empty, to check on 'Who am I?' is very, very straightforward, very clear. As you are open and empty now, you are not confused about who you are. You truly, truly know in your heart who you are right now. Your head will not believe this; your head will only come up with intolerance. But right now, you are open and empty, and you are not confused. Your true self-knowledge is completely clear to you, all of you.

So, empty of these notions and simply allowing all things to come and go, the truth of our reality is apparent. But here, there are no distinctions even between the unmanifest and manifest. But if we're not open and empty, and we burden ourselves constantly with trying to get time, to even understand time, to see something, one thing, some outcome—attachment to somebody is there. Then, with that person carrying that heavy weight of expectation, desire, fear, then it can seem like to really look at the simplest... then it seems like we are wearing a lens. We are wearing a lens which itself is very constructive, and then trying to see that which is beyond the universe. It just does not work that way.

So, what is the lens? If the lens, for example, is just 'What's in it for me? What's in it for me? I want freedom. It is all about my inner enlightenment.' We'll deal with all of this expectation. We are programmed to miss the obvious. You cannot keep playing 'What's in it for me? Am I getting it? Am I really getting it? Am I not getting it? Why will I get it?' All this kind of stuff, it just seems to take you away from that which is the most obvious. In a way, it's what Christmas had: the only thing needed is to be unattached to our actions and the outcomes.

So, apply that to your inquiry. Is self-inquiry different from being open and empty? In a way, ideally, when you are open and empty, it is completely clear to you what you are. But picking a hammer for a moment, the inquiry like 'Am I aware now?' or 'Who am I?' is helpful because many times we are not really open and empty, but we're just thinking we are open and empty. So, to give it some more propulsion, to give it some jet fuel, a question like that can be thrown into the—a grenade like that can be thrown into the mix. Because to be open and empty is to be empty even of the notion of being open and empty. But many times, we just think, we just take on the mask of, 'Oh, I'm being so open and empty. This is very nice. It's so peaceful here, isn't it?' These kind of things, they can just come in the way and we can feel like really enjoying this. Then we become spiritual sightseers and we try to hold on to states. So, it is about none of that.

So, when a question comes in there—'Who is aware of our existence?'—then you move away from every subtle, seeming mental position and you dive deeply into your reality. But actually, if there is no position being held at all, no expectation, no intellectual boundary, no time, no space, nothing, then you don't even need to ask yourself an inquiry question. You see, asking 'Who am I?' puts the focus internally to look for 'I'. No, you don't actually just ask 'Who am I?'; the question has enough potency to do the job for you. But if you treat it this way—that 'I must ask the question, then I must try and figure out the answer'—you see, then we're just doubling your own intellect. If you feel like 'I'm bringing my attention inwards,' you see, it is 'outwards I have to bring it inside,' then it's all this outside-inside; it is all in the intellect.

So, actually, in inquiry, eyes can be open, eyes can be closed, attention can be here, it can be there—it doesn't really matter because your self-recognition is not going to be a product of your attention anyway. But what you may find is that as you are asked a question like this with openness, and you're not personally intervening to try and get to the answer, you may find many times that attention gets absorbed in a certain way. And that is completely natural and fine. It is not the product of some personal intention. Because with all of this personal intention comes the boundaries of what we think to be right and wrong. Then you will never go beyond the notions of inside and outside. That's why I think it's important to remain open and empty and just... you see, once you're told that we need it, then you don't have to do anything. Just get your mind out of the way.

But when I'm open and empty, there is a lack of focus and there's a tendency to wait for the next thing that I mean. So, this is not open and empty. There is neither a lack of anything; there is neither lack of focus nor the one-pointedness of attention independent of all of that. But I'm glad you're showing us all of this because this is what many of us can feel like. We are around the room, like you talk about the tendency to be looking for what is going to happen, waiting for the next thing. So, just be emptier than this. Forget the meaning of focus, forget the meaning of life. Yes, forget about it. I'm concerned with emanating phenomenon. The moment we come and say, 'How can I forget? I can't forget,' I just let it come. Become more nothing than nothing. Don't take yourself to be anything at all, neither controlling your attention nor leaving it free. Nothing. I'm concerned about whatever we are; we're not bothered with any phenomena whatsoever, not bothered even with how attention is functioning.

But because that type of openness, emptiness is rare, that is why sometimes we can use an inquiry question. Just ask 'Who am I?' Somewhere this answer is apparent about it, but not accessible. And somewhere in our heads, doubts will never be found. And all of this leads me to try and dig the answer in our minds because it's not inducing in our heart. The answer has never been lost. So, Satsang is to come to that truth which has never been lost. It only seems to happen because we are confused by our heads. So, you said, 'What am I misinterpreting?' If you have any interpretation, that is misinterpreting. There are not two interpretations in Satsang. So, if you have an idea about what this all means, just forget about it. What it all means is clear to you, but if it is definable, it is not what it means.

You see, the wheel—an analogy is coming to me about intermittent fasting. What happens when you started doing your own? Most have done it. So, what is that initially like? If you start fasting and you're not eating breakfast, at breakfast time, this is for the queasiness that comes. You're not used to that sort of condition because you're used to having food in your stomach. In the same way, when we are open and empty, initial queasiness can come because, 'What are we relying on? What is it?' Then what happens is, when there is no food in the stomach, the body starts to rely on reserves which it never—it seemed to have forgotten it had. All the reserves of stored energy which it seemed to have forgotten it had, it comes to that again. It's clear that it doesn't need to operate because the reserves are there.

In the same way, because we came so much to rely on our minds, and our minds become empty, initially that queasiness comes up. 'Now what do I do? What can I rely on? How will I run my life?' But as you allow yourself to remain empty for a bit, you will find that true knowledge has never been lost. It is always there, you see. So, it's not even like reserves; it is just what you are. It's not like you have reserves of true knowledge, but it's a good metaphor in a way. So, don't feel that queasiness about 'If I'm not understanding what this is, then I'm lost.' This can be light here, but actually, as you let go of your mental understanding of what this is, what you are, you come to your true reserves of intuitive self-knowledge which you can never lose.

And so, after one or two days of intermittent fasting, you stop feeling the queasiness. And as you get used to the queasiness of remaining open and empty, as you get used to relying on this intuitive self-knowledge, then you will not clamor so much for mental understanding and interpretation. He would call this withdrawal symptoms. What he had—he's having withdrawal symptoms from the mind. With this moving away from your head and going into your heart—which again, is not an emotional heart, this is the heart of truth, the heart of the essence of reality—in this process, there can be some withdrawal symptoms from the head because we relied on it for so long.

This one says, 'Wow, Father, thank you for saving me from wasting my time.' That is my main job. That is my name. But it is a sign of great maturity to see this clearly. Because any time I'm saying, 'Don't waste your time like that,' you feel it. But that is true, constructive, or something. Visual perception... but what about the joy? 'I was drowning in bliss and wonder.' That's just another perception. Let it go. Don't add to it, don't plan this kind of ideas. So, to see that really, I don't want to waste time in these jungle of perceptions, because there are many fruits in the jungle which you may think are sweet, but you miss the source of that sweetness. As Kabir Ji says, 'Do you want to just taste them anymore? You want to be that.' It doesn't ever feel like maybe it is a very egregious but unhelpful gift if you experience a lot of joy or bliss. In a while, you just get attached to that truth. Forget about 'Who am I?' if you like. 'Who am I?' becomes a mantra to give you bliss, bliss. And then what happens? Because everything phenomenal comes and goes, and the bliss stops appearing, you will say inquiry stopped.

And this is the nature of mind, and that's why you have this constant repetition of things. Because I keep saying, 'Truth for truth's sake, truth for truth's sake.' And when you feel like, 'Oh, I want truth for truth's sake,' and then one day you hear it, 'I was full of desire, but I was thinking I want only truth for truth's sake.' It's full to the brim with desire, but believing that 'I just want truth for truth's sake.' That's why it is important to keep reiterating. If you want to figure out life, if you want to experience only a set of perceptions, then that is not truth for truth's sake. It is still a clamor for mental understanding and what is real, and we get caught up in the screams of the spiritual animals.

So, if your friend comes and tells you, 'I went to play a video game, FIFA 2020, and I experienced so much joy and bliss,' you look down upon that one. 'See how materialistic of you.' But if you did something what you call spiritual and you had the same joy and bliss, you say, 'Wow, my spirituality is really working.' No, it's the same old stuff in a different garb. Nothing to do with that. That's why this pointer, 'Truth for truth's sake,' really chops out all the other stuff. What are you in this for? Everything phenomenal is much easier. So, are you just in this for materialistic stuff? The mind will come and say, 'If not that, then what's the point of all of this?' And if you are just so subservient to your mind that you will dance to these tunes, then this is not really about freedom.

So, to recognize there is nothing tangible in this jungle of perceptions also. Whether we are not encouraging some sort of attitude of aversion towards doing whatever is that moment, a moment shows up. There is joy in tasting that, but don't get attached to any taste and don't think that that taste is greeting you somewhere. So, if there's a lot of bliss arising in inquiry, don't...

If you are just so subservient to your mind that you will dance to these children, then this is not really about liberation. So, to recognize there is nothing tangible in this jumble of perceptions also—whether we are not encouraging some sort of attitude of aversion towards doing whatever is that moment. When it shows up, there is joy in tasting that, but don't get attached to any taste and don't think that that taste is greeting you. So, if there's a lot of bliss arising in enquiry, don't naturally presume that your inquiry went really well and it's all on the wheels. But if you start playing quietly and your mind is super active and lots of thoughts are coming, is it just because the mind is full of activity? Maybe lots of conditioning was getting released. You don't know that might be able to inquire.

What I'm saying is don't judge any of that. Don't interpret what it means because our limited mind just is not normal. And don't be a bliss chaser because there are many worldly ways also to get that rest. And if you say all this bliss is beyond, you see, but it's still a phenomenal bliss which was speaking on a then little odd last bits. It is in your sleep state. But if you are speaking of all that bliss which is beyond taste, beyond any quality, where it's a struggle to even call it bliss, that bliss is Nirguna Brahman, which is your very nature but is not sweet or salty. It is just blissfulness, neutrality.

So, start loving this taste of water so much—the tasteless taste of water—that you will not rush after other drinks even if it is blended together. Many things like the perceptual taste of this something is what they are teasing when they get their team sense of satisfaction. So, I'm trying to unroll, unravel puzzles, figure out something. So, if we let up, 'I figured out this, I was confused about this for ten years, Father, and you explained it to me,' they are so happy. So, I figured it out. But what is on offer here is not so that you can get this order of intellectual satisfaction. I am not giving good and neat answers. I'm not here to figure intellectual volume. I try to take you much beyond this limited intellect.

So, to recognize that this desert of concepts and this jelly of perceptions is just a waste of time, what I really want is the truth. The design of beautiful spiritual maturity for me is there's a desert of concepts. If you like a desert of culture, it's not this here. The question comes: 'But what you said, that when we ask Who am I, I should not even be looking for an I?' Yes. If you open an empty and you have just asked that, what is it? The only use, like in the preliminary beginning stages of similar looking for the I, is to see that it cannot be found in that way of looking at it. The only use of it—it is not that one way that method will succeed of trying to use our attention to find the I.

Did you just see that wherever I may look, you looked at you that way? Now, if there's somewhere that will not look for the I, you see everywhere their attention can go, it looked. It looked in the world, it looked in the body, it looked in our thoughts, we looked in my emotions, we looked in the body sensation, it looked at us. And so, be now there is nowhere else to look. But as we let go of this attention, we see that we totally see it phenomenally, but we have an insight into today about that which is beyond the functioning of attention, that where attention cannot go.

And as that insight is coming, it may seem like our attention is getting absorbed away from the phenomenal constructs of this world. But what happens is the mind has a top card even there because the content of attention, which is like dark and empty over there, you see it, it will convince you that that is what you found awareness to be. It is that which is aware of even the perception of that dark and empty space. So, anywhere that your attention can go, you cannot find it in that way. So, the only point of preliminary looking in that way is to see that it cannot be done with our attention. And that's why we can leave our attention completely free.

There is nowhere where you can send your attention to that you will find the Self. And in fact, there is nowhere that you can send your attention to where the Self isn't, which is outside this end. So, don't worry, it is not a conundrum. Simply don't bother with your attention. If I tell you don't think of a banana, whether you like it or not, a banana you see, unless you are doing something where you seek mastery of visualization. When you ask 'Who am I?', it eludes itself. It always is, but not in your stomach, not in your intellect, not in your mind, but in your intuition.

The only purpose of looking with intention initially, when the inquiry first comes to us, is to see that with that intention in the mind, I cannot find such an I. And with my attention to all perceptions, whether it is perception of complete void or complete vibrancy of the world, I cannot find the sensing either way. So, if there is still a doubt about that—that I may one day find it like an object using my attention—then we can keep looking with our attention until we come to the unshaken reality which cannot be found in that way.

But if you accept my words, then don't waste time in the jungles of perception. Attention can only bring you perception. It is a tool to perceive. And every perception, which is the perception, just like every thought, which is the thought, no matter what you are perceiving, it is not it. In fact, this links very well with what I was saying about what you really want. Because if you are just clamoring for materialistic things which are objects of perception, as holy as the mind may make them seem, then this too is just confusing yourselves.

So, what I'm offering is such good news because I'm telling you how not to waste time. But we can still attach to something, you see. You want to take that particular experience with you into freedom, take that particular experience with you, that particular perception with you, that particular objective attachment with you into freedom, and it cannot work that way. So, the only point of effort is to complete the hands. The only point of effort in the beginning is to see that it cannot be found with effort. So, if it feels like you want to try it out, make all the effort that you want. Make it, you see, that it is not a product of some effort. It is the most effortless. In fact, effort only confuses you.

What are you before you decide to make the effort? Let's see if my highest pointing perhaps is before the sound of the clip, before you can decide to be the tools or not, to make effort or not, for any of that. Independent of any other, independent. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Thank you all so much also because I realized that for some of you it is Christmas Eve and busy family time and things, and yet you were able to take out this time for something. So much gratitude for the presence. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It's like cool emoji. Baba Ki Jai. Okay, who knows a Christmas carol? I may not live in America, don't stop.