Love God With All Your Heart - 27th May 2024

So Father, it feels like the physical is a manifestation of the spiritual, yeah? So it feels like, well, the manifesting power is not visible to the senses, but when we go to 'I' and we say this is the 'I is' and say 'I am'—say 'I am' means the living one is the being. It's—I mean, otherwise we would say 'I am,' we would say 'that is,' isn't it? We say 'I am' because we experience the wholeness that everything is experienced in it, isn't it? And we are one with it. So then, as you beautifully said, the Maya is the manifestation taken to be real. Because I really now understand what the rope and the snake analogy is, when the unreal is taken to be real. So what you're basically saying is that the effect is taken to be the cause, the past is taken to be the living—I mean, whatever is the product is taken to be the power that creates it. So the tip is, or the trick is, to contemplate the process of 'taking to be.' So without the 'taking to be,' what is left? So if you deconstruct the process of 'taking to be,' then it's not 'taken to be' anymore; then Maya doesn't really actually function.

So through this, like Bhagavan said, 'Till I am, no trouble, but when this I am takes itself to be I am something, then the trouble starts,' you see? Now, he did not say that it is an organic functioning of I-am-ness that it takes itself to be something. When it takes itself to be something, that is when the trouble starts. So then what is he pointing to? Why is he telling us that we must stop this taking ourselves into something? We can let go of that process of giving ourself a name, identifying that name with the form, and therefore to be free from the clutches of Maya. So what is this 'taking to be'? How are we 'taking to be'? So there's a difference between the 'taking to be' versus the 'what is.' And sounding too academic—so 'what is' versus the 'taking to be' is to fall in the clutches of Maya.

So if you don't take anything to be anything for a moment, then what is here? You find the presence of an unexplainable one, isn't it? If you say it is 'I am,' that is even more unexplainable—that there is a presence that I'm aware of which very organically is I-am-ness, yet I am aware of it. So to remove the curtain from this presence, to come to the darshan of this presence, is how we can be anchored in our freedom from Maya. This I-am-ness is the Atma itself, or the presence of the am-ness is the Atma itself. So either we can let go of false knowledge, ignorance, or—to simply put, that is the path of Gyan: to let go of false knowledge is to come to true knowledge, is the path of Gyan. To use our faith, to use the capability to trust that God is here, you see, is the path of Bhakti. Both bring us to the same insight, you see?

One is to let go of the false, then God's presence will be found. The other is to use the power of faith to trust that God is here, and then God's presence is found. Ultimately we see that all spirituality comes to spirit. So we must not make the mistake of trying to bypass spirit in spirituality, because spirit is that Satguru presence, is the Atma within, in the discipleship of whom we can find that which is beyond even spirit. So what am I saying? Let me try and put it simply because I'm hearing my words and they're sounding a bit like a classroom. I'm saying either we drop this process of 'taking to be'—nothing is taken to be anything; it's the end of sense-making, meaning-making; we remain open and empty—or we constantly live in the faith which is not 'as if,' but it can sound like 'as if,' in the faith that God is here. Then we come to the same point either way.

We cannot negate. If we do the 'neti neti,' let go of false knowledge, we come to the point where we cannot say 'I am not this' because this itself is I-am-ness. Or when we live in the faith, which means to rely on what our heart is showing us instead of what our head is telling us—and in the absence of that heart knowledge for some of you who are new, then to have the faith that 'if my Master has told me this, it must be true,' you see? Because the external form of the Master is a provisional, makeshift substitute for the Satguru within. So if I tell you that just live in the faith that God is always with you, or live like nothing means anything, if you follow these words, then you will come to the true living spirit, living being in your heart, and in the light of which you will find that the reality of the Self is the same as the reality of the Nirguna Brahman.

So let's start with the satsang itself. Is God here now? So you may provisionally speak from faith that 'I have faith because my Master has told me,' but that faith will translate into darshan; it will translate into insight. Then now that God is here, what is going to be your concern in life? You can still have one. Let's see it, you see? If the ability to have a concern is there, maybe you have to give it something to hold on to. So what should our concern then become? Yes, to stay with Him. Yes. But if God is here and we don't love Him, then what is love for anyway? So love God with all your heart, even if it feels like for the moment that you don't know what you're doing. It seems strange; it may even seem like 'I don't know how to love.' Is it so?

Use any aspect of your being to start with. Use your words. Say, 'Father, I love You. God, I love You.' You see, I'm talking about God as Father. Say that, 'I am Yours. I belong to You. Do with me as You please.' Even if your mind is fighting you, saying, 'But you are just saying it, you don't mean it,' you see, start by saying it. Then you start to deepen in meaning it. So all of these expressions of surrender, expressions of love, will deepen your love for God. And this is important: even if you say that your path is Gyan, you will supercharge your inquiry with your devotion towards God. So deepen in your love for God. Then what other concern can you have? God is here; I'm offering myself completely to Him.

Then the mind may say, 'Okay, but all this is fine, but what are you going to do? What about your work, money, relationships, body? What about all these things?' What to do is—what to do with that? What to do with that? You can ask Him. You can ask Him. Because if He's here, you see, it's not going to be like a stereotypical Indian father-son relationship. Usually, what do I mean by that? That there's hardly any communication, and if there is, then it's just like minimal. It doesn't have to be like the stereotypical Indian father-son relationship, but it can be like the closest bond that you create in your life. That is why my pushing and prodding to recognize God's presence as a living being is important, because you will not want to create a relationship with just a scientific phenomenon.

So if you call Atma very scientifically 'beingness' or 'consciousness,' then it seems like very difficult to really go to that with my problems, go to that bowing down, because it seems almost like praying to a cloud or something like that. There's a force field—like praying to a force field or something like that. No, but God's presence is a living being. Isn't that amazing? That His presence itself is a living being. So we can ask Him, we can be guided by Him, or we can say that whatever is here is Yours anyway, so You move me. And whatever I take myself to be, that is servitude—to make yourself available in service to God alone. Empty of self-concern, empty of 'me' is servitude. And servitude mixed with love is devotion, you see? But all of this rests on your faith that God is here. Otherwise, it will all sound like make-believe.

So I told the child the other day—and I don't mean to sound dramatic at all—but the fact is that if we just trust, if you have faith in this way, then from my experience, He never leaves you unanswered or abandoned. So it is my faith that any faith in Him will be answered. And I said to her that so much faith I have in that, that if your faith is true and if it is unanswered, then I should not be sharing such because I'm talking rubbish. So this faith that God is here is very, very important. So you're seeing how it's all linking together? So if you're empty conceptually, open and empty, you say, 'All this Bhakti stuff, where are we going? You see, I like to inquire.' So then what happens? Empty of that, even to ask yourself who you are, you need some faith, isn't it? Because the world is clearly told—

So much faith I have in that, if your faith is true and if it is unanswered, then I should not be sharing such because I'm talking rubbish. So this faith that God is here is very, very important. So you're seeing how it's all linking together. So if you're empty, conceptually open and empty, you say, 'All this Bhakti stuff, where are we going?' You see, I like to inquire. So then what happens? Empty of that, even to ask yourself who you are, you need some faith, isn't it? Because the world has clearly told you you are this body, you are this name and form, you see. So even to ask yourself 'Who am I?', you must be putting some faith in the teacher and some faith in the sages who have told us in the past, and you're ready to question the world's paradigm of who you are. So that itself is a leap of faith which most of us in the world may not take. So that is a leap of faith. So you cannot be a Gyani without Bhakti, and you cannot be a Bhakta without Gyan, because even to ask yourself 'Who am I?', you need some Bhakti. Some faith has to be there for you to even inquire into this question.

So how to remain in God's love? How to remain in His light? Because wouldn't it be the biggest waste possible that God is waiting for us in our heart, but we are roaming around the whole world? Would it be a waste or no? That He was sitting in our living room, but we went to every part of the house and we're looking for God and saying, 'What is the meaning of life? What is this all about? Why is there something instead of nothing?' We're asking all these questions, big questions that the mind can ask, but the one who can give us the answer, we just avoid that with all our mind, you see. Have we seen that many of us do spirituality that way? I mean, we may call it philosophy, but it doesn't work out because nobody can tell us why we are here except God. Nobody can give meaning to this life except God. No one can show us the source of love except God. So so many of us remain in that avoidance of this because we have an irrational faith in our rationality. I have no idea whether that made sense; it just came out like that. It seems very irrational to have faith in our rationality; it is so limited.

So can we make this really simple, even simpler? So what is being said is that don't make any story. Whatever may be happening, you remain empty. Let everything come and go. Or just have this faith that God is with you right now, like literally. Because He is more literally with you than if you were perceiving Him, because the realm of perception is a realm of coming and going, the realm of Maya. So it's a realm where we become confused. But His presence with us is more apparent, more present than if He were just sitting in front of you. But if even that is what it takes—and that is the way of Mirabai, you know, that she felt like in the Murti it is Him, and then that grew and grew and grew and she just completely, of course, dissolved in Him—but that sense that He is with me, even sitting in front of me, is better than to have no faith at all. So sometimes we hide behind the notion that God is everywhere, but we don't treat it as if God is here. Although He's everywhere, He's not specially here.

Okay, so what would happen if we lived our life having faith in God's presence every moment in our life? How would our life change? Firstly, is it possible at all? It's fully possible. I'm not fully there yet, so I'm not speaking from the words where I can say that I'm fully there yet. So I'm saying it's fully possible, you see. But whatever little ground that I've covered, I can tell you that I have a sense that it is fully possible, and I'm walking the same path as all of you. But it is more and more palpable, it is more and more tangible that He is with me every moment of my life. So even if it seems too far-fetched at the moment, will you take this silly old man's word for it and start to see if you can meet it somewhere? Just feel that He's there with you, is aware of your every breath, every heartbeat, every intention, every action. And that is so reassuring because if you intend to surrender to Him, if you intend to pray to Him, but the mind gets in the way, something happens, then at least you're reassured that He is truly aware. 'My true intention is to pray to Him or inquire into my true nature.' Isn't it so reassuring that I don't have to convince Him with the fruits of my actions? He is aware of my intentions themselves.

But the intentions have to be true, and then He Himself will give you the strength to make those intentions into action. Because many of us get intimidated and we say that 'I can't live like that, it's too much,' you see. But the more you have this faith, the deeper strength He will give you. If you live in this faith that He is here, you may forget many times. It may seem too difficult. Your relationship may be full of conflict, your work life may be difficult, you see. You may not know where money is coming from, the state of your body may be depleting. All of these things may be happening. So it feels like when all of this is happening in my life, here is this stupid man who's telling me, 'Just have faith that God is with you all the time,' you see. But I don't have time for that; I have other important things to solve first. You can feel like that. But if you intend to surrender to Him truly, your whole life you live for Him, and this intention is true, knowing that the audience of one, that He is truly watching you, He is truly aware of your intention, then He also provides. In His love for you, He also provides a strength for us to be able to do that. And many times He'll just change your life in a heartbeat fully. Those things which seem so impossible, you see, if you just stay with Him in faith, the most gracious, the most elegant solutions come to us. So He provides the strength, the reassurance, the love, the insight; everything comes from Him.

So when a sage said, Master Bankei said, 'All things are perfectly resolved in the Unborn,' how does that happen? How things get perfectly resolved? There's a story about him being really sick and bleeding and, you know, all kinds of things, but he remained in the Unborn. All resolved. Is it so? There must be something when we are empty of 'me' that takes care of everything. What provides love, peace, joy? What gives us that? And many times we say, 'These experiences I'm having are out of the world.' Out of the world experiences because they are actually... you experience a love which is out of this world because it's empty of the worldly love of grasping and desperation and desire and pleasure, you see. It's empty of that. You experience a peace which you could not even imagine, you see. In the world's idea of peace is to be stress-free, but the peace that you experience in God's presence is way beyond stress-free. You see, it's a different, out-of-the-world quality because it's beyond that which is material in this world.

So all of this is not a functioning, a biological or a material process. Where does it come from? It comes from the same place that life itself comes from, which itself is not a material process. It comes from His light, from His presence, you see. And where is He right now? Right there with you. And the good part is that your faith is so far beyond rationality that you may have a deep faith in God's presence, but you may be saying His name differently. There's this famous story of the saint who instead of chanting 'Ram Ram' chanted 'Mara Mara'. There is another story of a Christian saint chanting, because he was mistaken, chanting 'Lord Jesus Christ, don't have mercy on me.' But they both came to God because it is our heartfelt intention which is important. The method is secondary. And we can follow the method if it has come from your teacher, but the method is not as important as what is the heart that you put into it.

Then what happens? Anyone that starts on this journey realizes that they don't know what to do. How to deepen in our faith? How to deepen in our love? How to recognize that He's always with us? How to pray? You don't know, you see. That is why the discipleship of the Atma is so important, because if you surrender to Him, then His curriculum is tailor-made for you moment to moment. So how to remain in unceasing prayer, Nirantar Japa? That is the classical question. So anytime you remain in your faith that He is here and your focus is on Him and not you, you are in prayer. And even if you're distracted by the world or something is happening in your life, something, and you're just praying mechanically to begin with, at least it's a start. At least you're attempting to bring the focus back to Him. And like I said, He's aware of your every intention, so your intention to bring the focus back to Him itself is very good, you see.

But as your prayer deepens and you pray, do your Japa, do your prayer, do even your inquiry with the faith that God is with you, and then see what happens. You come to Satsang with the faith that God is with you and see what happens. That whole story we heard when we were children, all of us heard, that someone was struggling, struggling, and then I was like walking on this beach in the struggle and really going through really tough times. And I felt like I initially felt like I was walking with God, but in the... so there were four footsteps when I look back, and then there were some really difficult times and there were only two footsteps, steps of two feet. So then I got upset with God and said, 'In my most difficult time you left me.' He says, 'No, my son, those are those times when I was carrying you.' And when we are children and we are teenagers, we become very skeptical about these things and it sounds like so far from our living experience. But truly, as you deepen in His light, you will see that when you are empty of 'me', He is fully carrying you.

So one mistake that some of us may do is that we may feel that, 'Ah, I know He's here, so let me just... He's not going anywhere, it's fine He's here.' So what would happen if you did that with your partner? That he or she is just there, but you're busy with your things. What would happen? Huh? At least a big tantrum will happen that, 'I'm with you, but you are not interested at all, you're not with me,' you see. So just as much as to recognize, have faith in God's presence, how to be with that presence is for us to be present with Him. Otherwise it just becomes a lip-service spirituality. 'Yeah, yeah, I know God is here, He can't leave, He's everywhere.' So it becomes like a mental spirituality. But are you with Him? And that your being with Him will take many different flavors. Just your firstly your faith that He is here itself is the beginning of you being with Him. So right now, are you with Him? He is with you, but are you? Where are you?

And you come to a point, we come to a point that if we got distracted, if you were stuck in some egotistical thing and things like that, then for some time it feels like you're disconnected from Him. You cannot... you want to meet Him, but it seems too distant, too dark in there, you see. I wonder if you can testify to this experience. So you see, but this should make you like in the... the saint said, Hanuman Prasad said, the restlessness that he feels in a moment of disconnection is like a fish out of water. In a way, we must not get into this sort of hostile situation of the mind, you see. We must not say, 'Oh, it's the human condition, it's like this only.' Don't accept being a hostage or prisoner of the mind. Just return back to your heart, as difficult as it may seem sometimes. Do everything in your power. Like if you were in a place which was running out of oxygen and somewhere you have some sense of how to open the oxygen supply again, you see, would you just try one or two things and then say, 'Let's leave it, it's not happening'? No, isn't it? You will try every single thing. So how does that translate in the spiritual context? Pray deeply. Pray more and more. Pray, inquire, because the ego is this false sense of 'I', false sense of 'me'. So inquire and chop its head off. Chop its head off. Inquire, pray, listen to Bhajan, listen to Satsang, come to...

Um, running out of oxygen and somewhere you have some sense of how to open the oxygen supply again, you see? Would you just try one or two things and then say, 'Let's leave it, it's not happening'? No, isn't it? You will try every single thing. So how does that translate in the spiritual context? Pray deeply. Pray. Pray more and more. Pray, inquire. Because the ego is this false sense of I, false sense of me. So inquire and chop its head off. Chop its head off. Inquire, pray, listen to bhajan, listen to satsang, come to satsang. All of these things so that you don't—you get out of that zombie mode and our life becomes truly in the living breath of God. So these are very literal things. In the world, they make them sound like they're mystical or esoteric or something. This is a very literal thing.

So I like what came up the other day was: Heaven or Hell is not where you are, but it's with who you're with. It's just coming to me that Sartre said in a very different way, he said, 'Hell is other people.' And probably he didn't mean it in the way that I'm saying, but he's not wrong. Not that people should not be around us, but to take ourself to be a person, to take them to be people, that is also hell. This separation, this duality, is also hell. But really tell me one thing that I'm telling you, that you can be with God—are you just going to leave that information to say like, 'When it happens, it happens'? Like that, literally give everything that you think you have at your disposal to be with Him.

So that is the big difference between cheap grace and costly grace. So don't fall into the trap of cheap grace, just like, 'Yeah, when it has to happen, it'll happen.' Even the Masters have said it's all His grace, you see? No. We must—we can even utter the word grace only when we have surrender. So when I was younger, I never understood what is this Guru Dakshina. And don't worry, I'm not understanding it too well, but what is this Guru Dakshina? You started with the Master, he teaches you everything. In the Indian gurukul system, they would teach you everything, then by the time you're leaving, then the Guru can ask for any Guru Dakshina. And the Guru Dakshina can literally be your head. It can be your kingdom. It can be anything.

So as a kid, I was just like, 'What is the point of you? If I'm a king and I go and study with the Guru and at the end he says, "Give me your kingdom," that seems like a pointless exercise.' You see, I was stupid and still am. But I'm recognizing the willingness to pay the cost of discipleship is really important. And what is that cost of discipleship? Everything. It is everything that I think is me. So unless we offer that to the Satguru within, let's not talk about grace, that grace has to make it happen. Let's offer fully and then say, 'I'm fully empty, I'm fully naked, now grace has to make it happen.' But unless we can say that, then we cannot say, 'Why aren't you doing your kripa on me?'

So our intention must be fully to offer ourself up. And this is the tricky part, that although He is here with all of us, but His presence—our selfishness will make it seem obscure. Our individual will, our individual desire, our individual taking ourself to be too smart, thinking ourselves to be too knowledgeable, giving undue credit to ourselves—all of this will make it seem obscure. It will make it seem like we are disconnected from His presence. And then your life itself becomes a laboratory, you see? Because your heart tells you which way to walk and which way to not walk, you see? But most of us haven't built up that sensitivity yet to notice, to notice what is pleasing to Him and what is not.

All of us are born with like the broad strokes He has given to all of us, like lying is bad, being unkind is bad. Some of these broad things—thieving is bad. So the broad things which are displeasing to Him are apparent to all of us. But this can be magnified to such an extent that moment to moment you can live in His guidance, in His will. That is only possible like this: that to live in His will, to live under His command, is only possible like this when you develop the sensitivity to notice that, 'Am I lying? Am I being selfish? Am I being egotistic?' And what happens in your heart? Have you noticed all this?

So we go from being hard-hearted in this way to soft-hearted. Soft-hearted doesn't mean oh, very emotional necessarily. Soft-hearted means that we become sensitive in our heart. Sensitive like that. I'm going to paint a picture for you, but don't take it too seriously. It's just like if God was sitting on a throne in front of you and you were just leading a life, huh? But you kept looking at Him and with His expression He could tell you, like when you do something pleasing to Him, He's smiling, you know? Like that, you see? So if you could just notice with this expression, then wouldn't you use that as a compass for what to do, what not to do, you see?

So the light in your heart plays the role of that compass. His expressions are available to us even when it seems like His voice is not accessible. You know in your heart. You know in your heart when you're being proud. That is the only place you know, because otherwise pride is—you can't find it, no. Nobody can find their pride because the mind loves it. The mind will say, 'Well done, yes, yes, you were right only. Yes, yes, you are the best, yes, yes.' And what is the other side of pride? Fake humility is pride only, formal humility. So how to smell this pride on us? We can't do it in the head, but when we go to the heart, we start to notice our pride and we become humble.

And we start to realize that, like St. Teresa of Avila said in relation to that whose presence is here, we notice ourselves in our life and we see that we have such a long way to go. We notice our pride, we notice our foolishness in relation to the holiness of the One who lives in the heart. And the more you start deepening in His taste—you must taste His presence—and then no worldly taste can compare to that. So that to become empty of grasping becomes easier because you remain in the taste of His presence. No worldly taste can hold a candle to that. What can this world give you? Some momentary excitement, some momentary chemical reaction, some momentary pleasure followed by usually a lot of trouble and pain and problem.

But the pure taste of God's presence—then you will not hanker for things of the world. But what gets in the way? Are you willing to let go of everything you think you're right about, every plan you think you have? Or do you want to drive the car of your life? If you want to drive the car of your life, then satsang becomes just a nice sightseeing in the car that you're driving. If you're willing to let go of the driver's seat, then the One who is driving this entire universe can drive your life. Are you willing to let go of the steering wheel and take that risk and see what happens? Most of us are too scared to let go, but that is because of our lack of faith. So hell is nothing but the seeming absence of God's light, the seeming separation from Him.

If you spend your entire life acquiring what the world seems to offer to you but you did not live in His presence, then what is the use of that? What will that get us? And most of us have experience enough of this to be able to say, sometimes with no money in our bank account but just listening to a bhajan, we were happier than when our bank account is full but we were full of 'me, me, me' and 'do, do, do' and 'want, want, want.' But I'm not saying that it has to be no money in the bank account. I'm just saying that in the absence of attachment to any of this and keeping our eyes only on God, we are happy. If you're with God, nothing can make you unhappy. Experiment with this. Experiment with being with Him and trying to get the symptoms of hell. You can't do it. No matter what you do, if you don't leave His hand, you can't suffer. It can't be.

If you leave His hand, the trick of Maya is what? That momentarily you will feel like you're doing well. That illusion will start to break pretty soon, you see? Because if the Maya was not designed that way, then nobody would fall for it. So it has to give you that initial thrill. So we have the capacity to be with Him, but even more beautiful, we have the capacity to be in love with Him. Of what use is my love if it is not for Him? It comes from Him. If we make our love into attachment and desire and pleasure, all diminish. But if we offer the love which is His own gift to us back to Him, we start to live in an infinite love.

So many of our brothers and sisters in the world are just clamoring to be loved, but the source of love is within them. But they don't feel like there's anything within them. They feel like there's an empty space within them that has to be filled from the outside. Haven't you heard a friend say like that? You feel like something should fill the emptiness of our life. But that they only say because they've not really looked. The mind says it is all empty inside, you see? But that emptiness is the source of all love, all joy, all peace. His presence lives there. But I'm not going to say to any of you that what I'm saying, what I'm offering to all of you, will not seem like a risk. It will seem like a risk. Some fears will come. The mind will be scared, throw some fear at you, you see?

So true spirituality is a risky spirituality. True faith is a risky faith. True servitude must seem risky, otherwise we are caught up in our head. Does this mean that I don't know how I'm going to be moved, where I'm going to go in the next moment of my life? Will I be a king or a beggar? I don't know. And if you have not met this yet in your life, then this is servitude, this is the devotion. What is the boundary of our faith? At which point will we say, 'No, no, now too much, too much, too much, too much, I need a break, I'm not cut out for this'? It can seem like that. At which point will we see that? And if you're not meeting that point, then I'm not doing a good job.

Then it's like saying that Krishna is with me in the room, you see, and I'm enjoying His pleasure, His love, His presence is so beautiful. But if He tells me, 'Go stand in the rain,' I won't do it. And maybe the metaphor sounds very simplistic, but we have to see for ourselves in our lives what is the boundary of the room which we are not willing to go beyond. And I'm not saying that tomorrow you will become all brave fully and let go of all of your fear, but you must at least meet it so that we can offer it to God and say, 'This is where I'm stuck.' Otherwise we just live in denial, you see? And nothing gives us better excuses for denial than spiritual knowledge. The minute something starts to feel uncomfortable, 'But I am the Atma, nothing has ever happened to me.' These are just lips of spirituality, you see, because we are avoiding, we are hiding.

So insight is different from conceptual knowledge. So if the pointer brings us to true insight, yes. Otherwise, your heart is clearly moving you in some direction but you're being mental about it. But the mind is using your spiritual—not you, I'm saying generally that the mind has a tendency to use our spiritual knowledge itself to work against God. And that is why so few of us are actually comfortable with the living God, you see? You'd rather meet God as Consciousness than God. You know the distinction? They are the same, of course, but the difference in the words. 'Oh, there is a presence of Consciousness within myself' seems a lot more comfortable than to say that a living God is within me. God is calling. Hello? Let me shut all my trading applications.

So this resistance to a living being, the living presence of God as the Atma within—we would rather meet it as a conceptual understanding because you feel that it is something that I have a handle on. But like the Atma within me, God's presence which is watching, it to the mind of me even sounds like Big Brother watching you. It can sound like that. So we say, 'No, no, it's me only, I am only this consciousness, but I am that,' like that. So, but you know when it is coming from the words of truth and true insight and when it is coming as an avoidance. So I've been calling this the...

The Atma within would rather meet it as a conceptual understanding because you feel that it is that I have a handle on. But like Atma within me, God's presence which is watching, it to the mind of me can even sound like Big Brother watching you. It can sound like that. So we say, 'No, no, what? It's me only. I am only this conscious, but I am that' like that. But you know when it is coming from the words of truth and true insight and when it is coming as an avoidance. So I've been calling this the insistence of a spirituality without Spirit. If you say God, I as a boss, I mean, like, can control. Yeah, Consciousness is just a scientific phenomena in our minds. In our minds, it's just a scientific phenomena. And then awareness is the bigger one which is aware of even Consciousness. So we feel like because we have the terms for it, because we can say awareness is aware and Consciousness is being, we feel like at least more in control of it than to say that Krishna lives in your heart, or Ram lives in your heart, or Allah lives in your heart, Jesus lives in your heart.

So the more you deepen your spirituality, the more this living presence will become palpable and palpable and apparent. Who lives in your heart? Is it a scientific phenomenon or is it the Lord of this universe and all universes? And it's scary because what are we in front of that? Or what is it that we take ourselves to be in front of that? Because the 'me' that remains in spite of the highest insight—see, and nobody must be under the delusion that there is no 'me' who remains. The claim to the fact that there is no 'me' who remains is the 'me'. Or the one who doesn't like hearing that there's a 'me' who remains is the 'me'. So this 'me' who remains must be kept in servitude of God and a deep devotion for God. So between the two movements of Jnana and Bhakti, then there is no chance of the 'me' to survive in this way and we become empty of the 'me'.

Then we come across some weird things in spirituality. So somebody will say, 'I'm happy to surrender fully to God but I can't inquire, I can't pray, I can't come to satsang, but I'm surrendered to God.' So which part of you have surrendered to God? Which part? What all do you own in the human condition? You own outer life, relationships, transactions—all of these things, have we surrendered that to God by saying only He will guide me, He will move me? This body, have you surrendered to God? Are you still attached to self-image, what people think of you, what people conceive of your body, perceive of your body? This mind, have you surrendered to God? Have you filled it up with your prayer? What are you using the intellect for? Is it for God? Has it become the true discernment via Viveka of what is real and what is unreal, or what is godly and what is ungodly, what is pleasing to God and what is not pleasing to God? Your heart, have you given to God? Do you love Him with all your might, even though we don't know how to love? So what have we surrendered to God or what are we trying to surrender to God?

So true surrender is a full letting go, full surrender of everything that we think we have. But the inside, what do we feel like we have on the inside? That is very important to surrender to God. So that's how we come to building a close relationship with God, building a communication, building a communion with God. And God blesses us with rest, true knowledge, insight into the nature of reality, auspiciousness in everything.

Today I was going like these questions I had related to what you were talking about. I was doing the ads and then at some point there was this risk. I had to pack, I have to leave tomorrow, all of that. And I kept postponing, I kept doing the ads, but at one point I got up and I started doing the packing. And I don't know if it was a trick or something, but it was like God could be moving me also. It doesn't have to be more me. God could be moving me also. It's not like He has to appear and do something. He could Himself be making me do the thing that I'm thinking I shouldn't do instead of prayer and whatever that may be. But the point is that could be, could be.

So how do we go from beyond 'could be' to 'is'? Yeah, that is the question. Because in the realm of speculation, the mind can say could be anything, could be. How do you know about the 'is'? That is, that is, you know that you never had the sense that this came from God or only God is doing this or moving me in this way? Like there are so many times in our life where we feel like this is what I'm going to do. I used to take this example often saying, 'Okay, this it just went over, so God moved me in that way.' So just like we have these predetermined notions that this is what I'm going to do, I'm going to go live there, I'm going to buy this house, I'm going to move to the city, you see, but actually what ends up moving in our life is so different and we say, 'Where? How did this happen? I have no idea.' So for many of you, that could be just how did you come to satsang? Does the mind want to bring you? It could be for some of you, but many times the mind is resisting, they still come.

Like I have an opportunity to do that again, like that test. Like tomorrow I have a flight and I want to give it a try. Like, you know, like when you say risk it. Yeah, you also the flight? No, you—I mean, I might chicken out and actually catch the flight, but I want to try. What is the experiment that you won't catch the flight unless He moves you? Or anything else leading up, let Him decide this intention also. Yeah, this also deciding this intention, this also again and again the question was coming up. I wasn't sure whether I should ask and at some point I did ask, but I again, it's still I don't know.

It's very good. So let's start right now. You start empty. So you're not saying anything about anything and I decide anything about anything. I get my daughter to forgive you if the child do, but you're not carrying any intention about 'I'm going to now tempt fate or tempt God in this way' and say, 'Okay, now I won't catch the flight unless...' because you're already deciding. So that is not following the will of God. What does God want you to decide now? What? So suppose you say, 'I want to experiment with my faith,' you see, so that is the decision.

Who to? I'm just following. You are coding us to do it and I just...

Okay, so leave that decision also to God. But suppose that we say, 'Okay, now I want to really truly test my faith.' So how should I test it? Let God tell you. If you drive the steering wheel and you get all the way to Chennai, or just like 100 meters away from Chennai, and then say, 'Will I go to Bangalore or Chennai?' you've already driven there. So don't make it this kind of... so it comes on its own. Faith tests God on its own, it'll come from God. It won't come from you. That's what I feel like you were intending to say, but our sensitivity to this will deepen. That's what I was talking about. The compass within you, the light within you, will give you a sense of whether you're following in the right way or you're getting selfish, proud, smart—any of these things. You start to get a sense inwardly. That's what I meant, brother. It's like watching the expressions of Krishna sitting in front of you.

One tip I have for all of you is that till His presence becomes apparent in you, make that your only intention, which is for you to get the Darshan of that presence. Okay? Because none of the side projects are worthy if His presence is not found. So yes, pray for that. How do I deepen in Your presence? How do I come to Your light? How can I love You more? You don't want to do experiments necessarily which are like 'zombie go left' or 'zombie go right,' which way zombie go, this kind of experiment. Just keep your experiment to: how do I deepen in His presence? How do I deepen in His love? There's no point as long as we're in zombie mode whether zombie goes left or zombie goes right, it doesn't make any difference. How do I come out of my false identification, my false reliance on a 'me' which I can't even find? Did someone even ask a question or I've just been rambling on? Just been rambling on. Got me started.

How would that look if God sends the faith test? Huh? If God is testing my faith?

You want to look how God wants to look? This is that itself is the sacrifice of individual will. Who's setting the agenda for your life? Who's setting the agenda for your spirituality? I don't know what to... so don't set any agenda. Even be small steps. I want just to get some distance between you and your will, then you will start to see what has to be handed over to God. But if you're quick to like 'I', then the mind has you by the throat. It's a bit uncomfortable and maybe very uncomfortable to not know what to do, is it? But don't know what to do and just allow Him to set the agenda and drive and taste the outcome. Everything, it'll come subtly. Like even after these instructions, it's just like, 'Okay, now I want to not set the agenda.' So when you're empty of will, empty of concepts, that's when you really come to open and empty.

And this is a lifelong project. Have I fully sacrificed my will to God? No, of course not. 'I want' is very important in our lives and then it can become 'I want to not want to.' So then we can fall into the trap of not wanting. Maybe we need some safe want: 'I want to love God and I want to serve God.' These you can keep. He's not looking very happy. Questions, huh? Up more questions? No? Yeah, that He will tell you. So we cannot be fully empty of self-will, then let's turn the direction of the will from 'me' to God. So in this moment, are you serving me or God? Is your intention to serve me or God? And yourself or God? You see, when that switchover starts to happen in our spirituality, then it goes from being a self-serving to a self-sacrificing spirituality.

How can you serve God now? Seems impossible, you're sitting in satsang. How can you serve God? But you can. Every moment is an opportunity to serve God. It doesn't have to be in the words that you say or the actions that you do. What is the answer to that? How can you serve God now? Ask Him. That's how that communication will develop. It's okay to be honest and say, 'I don't know. This man is saying all these things, I don't know what to do.' You can say that. You can tell me that or you can tell God that. You can communicate openly. But don't rely on yourself. Like an infant is fully loving their parent, their mother, it is also fully reliant on the mother. Okay, so I'll stop rambling now. How can I help? Where do you get stuck? What's the trouble? Do you get stuck at setting your agenda? Do you get stuck at, like, you have the intention but you're not able to follow through? Do you get stuck because you don't know how to pray or inquire?

For frankly, presence of Ananda, everything is clear. It's just that, um, I guess you know the same old problem about keep coming. How do you make this the natural? I mean, in other words, we say if this is reality, if this is reality, then you know, then—and because you know we said God is reality, the unchanging reality, right? So what we're experiencing is the unchanging reality. Let's accept that that is, this is real now. It's only feeling so intensely real three times a week in this setting. So the reality is being obscured by repeated identification and thought. And we're doing sadhana. I guess the only prayer is that, you know, can it be, can it be faster? Can it be, you know, is there a... I don't know how to get to a sustained reality where this is what we feel here is felt as our unchanging, ever-present. And it's only that the deviation from this is noticed with... you know, what I mean to say is rather than coming to satsang to reach, feel the summit, why not feel the summit so that occasionally when we fall into the trough, we recognize it and we can elevate ourselves again?

So one very quote-unquote practical tip, although I don't say anything practical in satsang, but one practical-seeming tip is that what we want to grow in our life, we can try to be more grateful for that. So when you leave satsang and it feels like Maya is pulling all its tricks...

This is noticed with you, you know. What I mean to say is, rather than coming to satsang to feel the summit, why not feel the summit so that occasionally when we fall into the trough, we recognize it and we can elevate ourselves again? So, one very quote-unquote practical tip—although I don't say anything practical in satsang, but one practical-seeming tip—is that what we want to grow in our life, we can try to be more grateful for that. So when you leave satsang and it feels like Maya is pulling all its tricks, the mind wants to put us in this place of complaining and grievance. It wants to say, 'Why can't I have what I have in satsang? Why can't it always be so?' Instead of that, turn that around and say, 'I'm so grateful that twice a week I'm able to come to an unchanging reality, which is so rare in this world for anyone to come to. I'm so blessed. Thank you, thank you God, that this has happened to me and it's so accessible. I can go twice a week.' You see the difference? Just like, 'Only twice a week it happens, rest no,' but 'I can go twice a week and get a sense of the unchanging reality. Thank you, thank you.' So gratitude can really help with that.

And then, like you love to do, you can also keep observing and saying, 'Okay, so I'm not in the grip of egotism all the time.' You see, in fact, some moments even in the outer life seem just like satsang. You see? So how does that switch happen? We can observe, and then our intuitive powers are flowering so beautifully that we'll start to get this sort of sense about these things. So gratitude, observing, inquiry—everything you're doing, you are on the right track. If you notice the words of the sages, they've always said, 'Why? I mean, what is why? Why have you given me this Grace? I am so unworthy. There are so many who are searching for You, and You decided to give this love, this light, this Grace to me. How can I ever thank You enough?' Even the greatest sages say these things, isn't it? So there's a clue there for us to learn from: that gratitude for His gifts, with integrity and with honesty, is very important, very beautiful.

And we don't need to go far, because if you just go back to our lives a few years back and compare it with what insights we've had, with what experiences of love and life we've felt in our heart, there's so much to be happy about, so much to be grateful for. Where were we all stuck ten years back, twelve years back? Old people like me, fifteen years back—where would we all start? What were our concerns? What did we take ourselves to be? What used to trouble us? How far we've come from there. All is Grace. So don't let your mind trouble you. One of Mooji's favorite Christian fathers said the main thing is just for you to be at peace in your heart. Just be at peace in your heart.

So it's like what I'm talking about: this cleaning up the heart temple. Just clean up the heart temple where God lives, and God's presence is going to shine; His love is going to be apparent. What will you put in your heart temple? Or what are you putting? Is there a temple of God where God lives? Where does He live? Within yourself. And we call it, a little poetically, we call it the heart, you see, also because it can feel like it's in the heart like that. So what will you keep in the temple? A very innocent question. What do you keep in the temple, huh?

Him there. But what will you offer to him? What will you keep? Love. Keep what else? Kindness. Like this, innocent like that. Yeah, what else?

So we know somewhere, no? What He likes: kindness, compassion, faith, being truthful, honest, wanting to help, wanting to follow Him. We know the answer. It's actually simple like that; even children know. And what should we not keep? Right? We know. The temple is for Him, but we are the pujari or something, like some special something. The enlightened one. The temple is for Him, but we have our own photo everywhere. So that we should not keep, you see. Unkindness, anger, just resentment, grievances—we have this taste. It's very, very natural for us to know this.

So when we offer flowers, fruits, malas, those are representatives of the beautiful things that we can offer. So in our inner temple, we have love, kindness, compassion, helping a brother or sister, smiling more—simple, simple things. Just these small things. But if you feel the temple is for Him, but we are just filling it up with self-concern—me, me, me, me—then we know. So that's why this metaphor is helpful. This metaphor of the heart temple is very helpful because every moment we are filling it up with something. Is that pleasing to Him? And I'm not saying pleasing to Him like He'll be upset or He'll be like that, but we have a sense of it. Or are we saying 'heart temple' and still the mind makes us find a way to make it about the 'me'? So is it really a 'me' temple in the guise of using God to help the 'me'?

So who is in our heart temple: me or God? That is literally the lane, this narrow lane; only one will fit, you see. And it's not a question of determining for our whole life; it's moment to moment. Who is in my temple right now? Right now? Right now? Your life will change because you will find yourself changed. If you have work or business, you will feel like, 'But whose side am I supposed to negotiate from?' I don't know. These things will become very strange, but you have to just become reliant on Him to guide you. Because if you make yourself mental about this—that 'I'm going to play the role of being somebody free or enlightened' or something like that—then that is still me, me, me. But you will come across these situations where you just have to rely on Him to guide you, to run this life for you.

And this temple in your heart is literal—not the bricks of the temple, but His presence in the temple. You see how temples are designed? They have these layers that denote all the layers of existence. Then you go to the—what is it called?—the central sanctum sanctorum, the Garbhagriha. What is the Garbhagriha? Where His light is shining. It's usually a smallish place; only a few are allowed to enter, and there's a perfume of His presence if it's a true temple. Now, this is beautiful. The outer one is beautiful, but it is incomparable to your inner one. Inside you, you have a temple like that, much more beautiful, because around Him in the outer temple there are flowers and decoration and the mala and all of these things. In your inner temple around Him are love and peace and kindness, compassion—all the best things. Knowledge, Atma Gyan—things which you thought you would never know just come to you. You can't tell where it came from. But 'inner' doesn't mean inside the body; 'inner' means inside yourself.

But you can visit that. Sages in India call it the center, the sanctum sanctorum of the Antahkarana, the inner being. And in the Western cultures, like St. Teresa has called it the Interior Castle, where the centermost mansion belongs to Him. So the beauty of this is it doesn't matter which part of the world you're in; you all come to the same inside. What religion, what tradition we follow—you know, those things matter—but we come to the same inside. So He's with you every moment. What is your offering to Him now? What is the highest offering you can make? Your entire being. The entirety of what you think you have. It's already His, of course, but in this play, we have to play as if we are making that offering. You try living like this and show me unhappiness, show me inauthenticity, show me suffering.

You get subtler and subtler in your life. Some of you, some of my children—obviously I'm not going to name—but are still feeling that the audience on the outside is real and the audience of One is not, is forgotten in those moments. So it feels like, 'Okay, then we can just tell a white lie. Who does it hurt?' But we know in our heart that this is not pleasing to God. Even a child knows, no? Lying is not good. But when you grow up, we make these sort of excuses for ourselves, that we can just do this convenient-seeming thing. But as you deepen in your spirituality, you'll start deepening in such a way that you not just want to make up things because remember, the audience is of One, and that One we cannot fool. We may fool the whole world.

So be kind when nobody is watching you. Be helpful when nobody gives you credit. Don't have a different persona for the world. Some sannyasis make it a point to look really bad for the world, really foolish and stupid, and you don't have to go that far. But don't do anything for image. 'What will people think of me?' Don't waste your life on this kind of thing. It's not easy because all of you know—I've been quite open about it—that in satsang here, the attempt is to drop all pretense. But this all pretense doesn't go still like that. So you just have to keep offering it to Him, keep surrendering it to Him. And to deepen in His love, to deepen in His light, to follow His guiding becomes such a joyful way to live.

These days anger has come down very much. Like, maybe I can say like out of a hundred, ninety-five percent is gone. Very, very... but when I'm getting angry, I'm not liking it. Yeah, like especially what's happening, it's mainly with my mother. It's happening constantly. She's constantly nagging and you know, I'm somewhere kind of used to being alone and then now I'm with them, and that constant nagging I'm not able to take. And at one point of time I'm just like, you know, bursting out. And even I'm telling her in a normal tone and making her understand things, keep calm. So she's constantly like, her fears and her insecurities that she's nagging, and then I'm bursting out. And then yeah, I'm able to come out of it very easily. Or then I don't know, like sometimes I feel like I can put it across to her in a sweeter manner or nicer manner, but sometimes they don't understand in that way. Like, you just have to be a little aggressive, which I feel it's not wrong sometimes. But I don't know when... like you feel like you can tell things in a softer way, but certain places, certain times you have to like, you know, be rough. Yeah, that's something that's been bothering me.

Yes, I can relate to this. I can relate to this because maybe I still am like that with my mother, and maybe I was a bit like that with my father also. But I feel like at least in this life, it's like a lifetime project where I'm constantly working at it. So I was sharing—I don't know if you were there in that satsang—but what this expression is like originally is that Shanti, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti, then after six months one big eruption will happen, you know? So many of us are like that. So having noticed it, having realized that in the aftertaste it is not something that my heart likes, this bursting to some extent has really reduced. But I still am working on that. I don't know if you heard this, but I have this tendency, especially with my family, to get irritated. Is it so? Yeah. So just you know, they'll say something and I just, you know, like... so that is still anger, you see. And that is my current project. So I think a little bit I've been able to curtail that.

You see, these things become so deeply part of our conditioning that you have to keep working at it, you see? Keep working at it. So we are in the same boat in a way. You're saying ninety-five percent of it is gone. So in the same way, that ninety-five then becomes ninety-eight, ninety-nine, you see? But our sensitivity keeps also growing so much that that one percent now hurts more than that hundred percent used to. You see that something is not happy in our heart when it is like that, you see? So this is... we just have to keep surrendering it with integrity to God, and then you know, He stops you at the right time. So it'll reduce. And I cannot say yet that it will completely go away because it's not true here yet. But it's a work in progress. See, one thing that helped me is that—and probably at your age I still had that notion—I also had this idea that sometimes it is needed, is it? So once you start demolishing that notion and say, 'No, that is just my mind...'

You see, so this is we just have to keep surrendering it with integrity to God and then, you know, He stops you at the right time so it'll reduce. And I cannot say yet that it will completely go away because it's not true here yet, so but it's a work in progress. See, one thing that helped me is that—and probably at your age I still had that notion—I also had this idea that sometimes it is needed. Is it? So once you start demolishing that notion and say, 'No, that is just my mind's excuse to say I should get angry or it's needed,' as if we can ever tell that that one's behavior we have to change, or I know better what to do, you see, or how to guide this relationship. It's only when we believe those concepts can we say it is needed, see? We actually don't know what is the best way for that relationship to unfold. So that's why we have to trust the words of like so many sages who are very, very clear about this.

Like Ma said, 'Don't get angry.' She has not said, 'Don't get angry but this.' You see? Like that, sometimes I used to make it very good-sounding to myself, you see? I would say, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah, six months nothing, nothing, but you know, once in a while the Shiva energy comes out.' So all this is just fancy ways of making excuses for ourselves. So we should not get into these traps of looking at each other's partners. So this is very common, so I used that—misused that, I have to say. So we have to just because Ma had no disclaimer about it. She said, 'You must not become angry.' That's it.

So anyway, I don't—from whatever I can tell, anger has not been a huge part of this life. But even that six-monthly, three-monthly, or now even this like irritation—it's not my business to point out to another. My business is to leave justice to God, you see? But to point out the sin, if I notice a sin or error, in the most loving way is my business. To do it with kindness and compassion is my business. And I'm truly saying that that is what I'm working on; I'm not saying it for everyone else. So that's where I am at right now. So I'm no expert at it, but whatever little advice I can give you on this topic for all of you is that notice the mind's excuses about it, you see? That it is needed or it's some—we try to make it all Shiva, you know? It's like that. So just don't fall for these. Remember Ma's words: 'Don't get angry.'

And don't say, 'Oh, like somebody told Ma, but the sages used to get so angry.' There was a sage, Durvasa or someone, who gave somebody a curse and that one died, and then Durvasa revived them, you see? So she said, 'Okay, you can get angry when you have the ability to revive someone from death. Then you can get angry.' Have you all heard this great satsang? She gives us the exceptional situation. She says, 'Yes, you can get angry. You can get angry when you have the power to revive someone when they're dead.' Because we take these examples. Please give examples there when you get to that point, then talk about these Shiva energy and Kali-rup and all that.

So as we are deepening in this love for God, then all these things are coming more and more into our life. So for all of you also, I want to say that even if anger is not a thing for you, work on your irritation. Work on that lack of kindness being shown. Even in the most oppressive situation, we make it a point to express our anger in even the subtle way, like passive-aggressive, all of these kind of things. So the sages have told us, and if we don't take the words of the sages literally and we make excuses for ourselves, then we're not really following the knowledge well. And some of you children, just newly married and new relationships and all of that, so just keep this part of it out of your lives as much as you can. As much as you can.

100% I have no authority to talk about because it's not gone 100% here. All the mind can come up with many, many rationalizations for these things, but I've really looked at this topic in my life and I can promise you that every time I have gotten angry, my mind has later told me that this was good, it was required, it is righteous, it was all of that. But when I look at it after some time, after that, I realize it never leads to any good outcome. And you realize that we're making our own life worse. Then we learn how to keep it aside. In the moment it feels very tempting, no? Anger, like 'I'm right, I have to stand up for myself.' Like this kind of thing. But we can stand up for ourselves—maybe that is what hissing is—but we can stand up for ourselves, we can make our point, but we don't have to be angry about it. I don't have to be angry with you to explain the point. I don't have to. I can make it assertively.

Some people have not heard that in a bit, but some people used to consider me really choppy, Father, that you're really choppy and all of that. But I don't feel like in satsang I don't recall more than one or two instances where I really spoke in anger, you see? So we can be strong and assertive without introducing the feeling of anger into it. And you can correct me if I'm reading it wrong, because this is how pride works sometimes. You can say, 'Oh, I don't recall in so long,' is it? But you can remind me if it is true.

Like very short, next very angry, but you know, when you said something that day and somehow you accepted it in your heart that yes, it's not freedom, it's not helpful, needed, it's something... yeah, because I know all the excuses, all of that. But just from the acceptance, I have to say that at least like 25-30% has gone away, you know? Like this, by simply accepting that I don't want to do this.

Any on a path of growth, when we are in denial, then that closes us down and we're just rationalizing it to ourselves. And I've done that for a long time. Then we're just closing ourselves down. But when we come open and humble about it, then we can work on it. Can I also, when I do the ads... so this point before we go through that, that all of you must also look at this. And if any of you feel like, 'No, no, but I need it,' then we can send you some videos of Ananta or something like that. So don't rationalize it. Observe it for yourself and work on it. Work on: Do you get irritated? Do you express your anger in like these passive-seeming ways? It's called passive-aggressive. So what are you putting in the temple for God? And please, we must not make the mistake of comparing ourselves with Kali and all of that. We've done that in the past in our childishness.

And help comes in such beautiful ways, like Ananta Ma, very, very clear and authoritative about it, like, 'No, that's it.' And then people came to her with reasoning and 'But this, but that,' but like, 'Okay, when you get to that level, then talk.' So all of us will work on this together. Yes, so this is a good point. I feel this is a good pointer that whenever feeling irritation or whenever we feel irritated or angry—or I would extend even when I'm not feeling happy and if I'm not joyful—I'm away from God. And that's a good reminder immediately.

It's a good reminder exactly that something is wrong.

Absolutely. That's the best way to take it. You've left His presence. We've left His presence. There's no excuse for it. We have to return. Okay? Huh. Anyone wants to talk about Arjun? Because Arjun was not told to fight from anger. In fact, that scene from Ramayan is coming. So Lakshman Ji is teaching all the Vanaras how to... because they're going to go to this big war soon. So he's telling them that behind every arrow, put all your strengths, physical bodily strength, but also energize it fully with the anger that you're feeling and the feeling of injustice and all of that, and then fire and then see.

And Lakshman Ji, of course, a great, great warrior. And in a worldly way, you can fill your life with so much so-called passion and all if you do these things. And many people may advise you to do that—you put all your emotion behind something and all of that. But then Ram Ji comes and he says—because he knew the guidance Lakshman gave him—and he says that, 'Yes, put all your physical power, you see, but don't get your emotions involved and keep your mind balanced.' He said so, basically to keep it empty. And then really the arrows went really well, all of that, which is sweet to show. But really that is the difference: that some things may seem like they work in the world and they give us the outcomes that we think we want or we need, but actually we leave our surrendered state and take the position of being a judge, you see? Which is not right. Justice must always be with God. You must always leave justice to God.

So Arjun did his Dharma because God told him to fight, but He didn't tell him to fight with anger. In fact, He told him to really fight respectfully. As strange as that may sound, that he fought with a lot of reverence actually. But don't ever use that as an excuse in the sense that don't ever say 'God told me' unless God has told you for anything at all. Because these kind of things you must never put in your temple. And if you did, then please bow down to God and ask forgiveness, because to misquote God is something else which we may not feel like there are any consequences in the world because who can tell? But never do these kind of things. You know in your heart what is the person... deluded just then? It's okay. I'm talking to all of you and you are not deluded. No, if they're honestly making a mistake, then it's okay, that's different. That integrity is very important, especially when you're saying 'God did' or 'God told you' or 'God did something else.' So don't make these big mistakes for some short-term wins. Be very, very sure in your heart. Thank you. Thank you for that topic. It's very important.

He was saying about the idiots gone... you want I do the... a lot of some old habits or tendencies or, I mean, a lot of repentance. You start seeing things from how your ego had... from that state your day... you really feel repentant and you feel very bad. And in that moment it's okay, but then like that Advaita mind comes and says, 'Oh, you know, you're supposed to... I mean, the fault you doesn't really exist now, so why are you going on being all sad?' And you know, who is it talking to? I, as I was going to ask you this question, I really realize it's all my mind saying and I can just allow it to go. And even if I say I have to be open and empty, even then in that state it can come and be expressed in a correct way.

That is why I have to say that from my experience, the way to avoid this sort of like either spiritual avoidance or just making excuses for ourselves—all of this is to recognize the incomprehensible oneness and yet distinction between ourself and God. Fully one, and yet to be always able to say, 'The me that remains...' and the me that remains wants to go into the category of 'I am That.' Then catch that one and make it bow down in front of God. You see what happens when we first come to the light of the Atma? You feel like all glorious things will happen, but first what happens is, of course, it's in a lot of love, but we start to see our errors. We start to see our pride. So that can feel a bit uncomfortable. So it's very important because in a way the Satguru within sets the agenda for us, sets the curriculum for us.

In our mind, everybody is the best one. Everyone is the main star of their movie, isn't it? Even the ones who've done the most terrible things in the world rationalize it to themselves in their minds. So when we go beyond our mind to the true teacher in our heart who can see things objectively, then we start to see the error of our way, you see? And then to hide the error of our ways behind some conceptual spirituality—don't fall for that trap.

Make a joke, but she's not in the mood for jokes. Say, 'Got a bit irritated when I said are we working on this irritation thing?' You get irritated with that? That's one irritation which is very difficult to work on, like 'I feel you're getting a bit irritated.' Irritating someone like that. No. Okay, Keshav is helping me with some of this. So from the Sermon on the Mount about anger, Jesus says, 'You have heard that it was said...'

Of our ways behind some conceptual spirituality, don't fall for that tree. I make a joke, but she's not in the mood for jokes. Say, I got a bit irritated when I said, 'Are we working on this irritation thing?' You get irritated with that. That's one irritation which is very difficult to work on. Like, I feel you're getting a bit irritated. Irritating someone like that, no? Okay, kha is helping me with some of this. So, from The Sermon on the Mount about anger, Jesus says, 'You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, "You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment." But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister "Raca" is answerable to the court. And anyone who says "You fool!" will be in danger of the fire of hell.' That is really good. Thank he said it. And if he said it, you have some grievance with your brother and sister, then first go make it up, otherwise your prayers will not be accepted. That's why Matthew went home first and resolved with his parents. Thank you. Thank you. Want to come up?

Hi, Father. Hello. I said a lot of things about—I was messaging a bit about anger and I thought I should just come up and... but if I said that you can't come up, would you have gotten angry? Yeah, probably. Look at that. I probably would have gotten angry and then maybe cried a little bit to come. I'd rather cry, though, than get angry. It's better. So, Guru said in a satsang recently that we all have like main vasanas that each of us kind of have that we're working through. And you know one of mine—you know all of them—but one of them is anger. And so, like, I wanted to come up with that. I don't know what I'm going to—I don't know what to say or ask about it, but I do get angry and it has been a main emotion in my whole—for my whole life since childhood. And it's been a strong emotion from my mom especially, you know? And so the reaction from anger is like fear and resentment if someone gets angry at me, and I just can't let go of it. It really hurts, and especially if it's from someone I really love. And I just can't let go of that pain and resentment and with it. And then I also have anger when I feel like being attacked or neglected. But I just wanted to bring it up because I definitely—I don't want to keep that. I don't want to keep it.

Very good. Now let's really look at what I'm trying to convey when I say, for example, that I'm working on it. Now, this is the thing in the human condition that even after noticing that something is not in service to God, in service to our life, in service to those around us, you see, if we really had power, then we should be able to just snap out of it, isn't it? So, like you said, 'I'm not able to do it.' And for all of these things, we are not able to do it, you see. I am not able to do it, but God is. But the real question is: how much of ourselves are we giving to God then? You see, the more of ourselves that we are handing over to God, then God is helping us with cleaning all this stuff out from our insides. So our insides become—and I'm not speaking literally, but you get a sense of it—that our insides become worthy of God's presence, of His love. So God can, and we must really surrender to God with integrity. You see, like one thing would be lip service to say, 'Yeah, I can't do it, so I just give it to God,' and I don't know, like that. But really, another is to say, 'I see this. I see it, and it blocks Your light, Father. It blocks You from using me fully. So please, I don't want anything to block Your light, to block You from shining in my heart temple so that I can bow down to You fully. So please help. Please help.' And He can, and He will. And only through His helping in this way are we growing in our spirituality, because we can only grow with the carrying of the Spirit. He is carrying us. It's very good to notice these things, offer them to God, and after making every attempt and continuing to make every attempt with whatever power we seem to have at our disposal—so it's full work and full grace. It's full effort and full grace.

Yeah. And when other people get angry at you, just trust God, the justice of God?

Yes, of course. Do you want to take it in your hands or leave it to God?

I don't—I wouldn't—I don't know what to do with it. I just—it hurts too much when it's in my hands.

That itself is good reason to give it to God. Like, where does justice come from? The notion of justice, where does it come from? Why should humanity be just with each other? Not just humanity, actually; if you look at all living creatures, what makes this sort of system, the system of right and wrong, just and unjust? How does the child also know it is bad to steal, not good to lie? So where did justice come from?

Well, that feeling arises within. It comes from the Lord. And it comes, but it doesn't always feel like it correlates with anything always and just His... because when an animal kills another animal, it can look cruel. You know? So I don't—I don't know.

Yeah. So the one who has planted this construct of justice in our heart, which is beyond like a mental construct but an alive construct in our heart, then let that one be the judge of everyone. Because do I really have the capacity to judge? What capacity do we have just based on our own experience, limited experience? And how many times, if you were to really look, how many times have you been wrong about our judgments? Probably every time, because I can't see everything. Exactly. Same. I feel the same, that every time I've judged a brother and sister, it is with limited understanding, with not knowing, impossible for my mind to fathom. So the ability within ourselves to judge does not have the capacity to fully understand, isn't it? So then, if that is truly the case, then justice is best left to God. If we had the capacity to fully understand somewhere within us, then over there we could have said, 'Okay, I can say this is right and this is wrong. What you're doing is unjust and you should be like this.' But do we really know? And so that's why we talk about Arjuna so often, that the notion that he had about justice or right and wrong was superseded by God's guidance to him. So we must allow God's guidance to guide us in terms of justice, in terms of how to move in every situation. We only get in trouble when we take the steering wheel for ourselves. Yeah, and one symptom of that is the rushing. When we are rushing, we are just digging a hole for the mind.

I heard someone compare rushing to anger somehow. I thought that was interesting.

Yeah, when anger is a big rush. You want to express anger, the big rush. That's why that whole old cliché thing, which works actually: count to ten. Because you count to ten and then it starts to dissipate. But rushing is because the mind loves to speak first. 'Do this, do right.' Don't. Yeah. And when someone gets angry at you, should we be doing justice to that for that? No, because then it's never-ending. So it's a very beautiful thing that Jesus said, and then Gandhi also said: 'Turn the other cheek.' Yeah, Jesus did say that. I just thought of him as the epitome of what to do when people are angry at you.

It's not easy in practice. The best was when he went back home to Jerusalem, you know that? And he went back home to Jerusalem and he gave a sermon and he told the head Rabbi there that 'I am the law of Moses,' and they wanted to throw him off the cliff. So they take him to the cliff and he just looks at them and says, 'No, not today,' and he walks off. I didn't know that part. This was a great episode I must have seen. So he just—they take him to the cliff and, you know, they're really angry and they claim that 'You're a false prophet' and all of that, 'You deserve to be killed.' So they take him to the cliff and they get to the cliff and he says, 'No, not today,' and he just walks away. And there's an instance of that with Jesus as well with his disciples when they're walking and the Roman soldiers find them and make them carry their things. And they're very heavy and they're very rude to them and disrespectful. And Jesus is just kind the whole time. And they say, 'You're only allowed to walk this many kilometers and then we're not supposed to carry your things.' This is what the disciples were saying. 'Then we can stop now, Lord.' And he says, 'No, we go all the way. We'll go wherever they want us to go. We'll go past that and then more.' And I wow. All of us, especially this one, such a long way to go in love and kindness and compassion, Father. That's also in its heart, I guess. One more thing about it is when—if it's like a master to a disciple, you know, if there's anger, then what? Like, that's hard. Send a Jesus episode. I'm always happy to receive.

Okay, I don't know. I guess there's nothing. I feel like when we don't know, it's best to pray. Somebody gets angry at you, you don't realize, you don't recognize, you can't see any reason for that. So something is blocking their heart, something is blocking their life. What is the most compassionate thing we can do? What is that with which we can serve God and our brother and sister? We can pray for them. What a great gift in return for anger. Maybe this is better than singing a bhajan because that sounds a bit disrespectful, but maybe we say, 'I pray for you. I pray for you, brother.' Yeah, this I'm going to do. Pray for—if we're angry at someone or they're angry at us, to pray for them either way. Yes. Yeah. Okay.

Like, I just feel like this my life has been an epitome of foolishness. So another example is coming. So in India, when the pandits are doing a puja, they always ask you the name, the village, like the street, and God has to be given these, you know, these latitude and longitude for the prayer to work. So, like, I was very skeptical and I was an atheist for most of my life. But I realize that it's so, so powerful, so beautiful to pray for someone by name. 'Have mercy on this one. Bless the heart with the light of Spirit.' Very, very beautiful. Try. I'll do that. It's easier for like brothers and sisters, but it is harder for teachers. And so I'm just one asking for help to let go of any... I want to tell you one thing, that a teacher is just a brother, sister, nothing more than that. No, I don't think so. Everybody in their life is only trying to live their life in God's lap, and by that virtue, all of us are working together. And they should not say it is different, and we should not think it is different, especially if it deprives them from our prayers. So if I have, for example, taken a position by which I am then deprived of you children praying for me or blessing me, then I would never want such a position. At best, I'm a brother, and in most cases more foolish than most of you, and just maybe in a few things I walk one or two steps a little ahead and guiding all of us together on that basis. But only God can claim that throne where He's beyond blemish or beyond asking for forgiveness or beyond being... so at least for me, I have to say, please don't deprive me of your love and blessings and prayers. Help me too with your prayers, of course, and letting go anything that's not for God. Beautiful thing I found in Christianity that in India it's strange if a younger, you know, younger like a son or a daughter or a younger one blesses an older one, you know, it can sound strange. But so beautiful that in the West, in some parts, then what can happen is that younger ones bless the older ones, and everyone can collectively bless God also. They blessed God so many times in the Psalms. It's so beautiful. 'Blessings upon You, God. Blessings upon You.' So beautiful. Say something that Abu Khan, who I love so much, he said—some visitors came to his house and he barely had any—he was living so, you know, with less stuff—and he made them some tea and then he said, 'Please bless it before I drink it.'

That in the West, in some parts, then what can happen is that younger ones bless the older ones and everyone can collectively bless God also. They blessed God so many times in the Psalms. It's so beautiful. Blessings upon you, God. Blessings upon you. So beautiful.

Say something that, uh, Abba Khan, who loves so much, he said some visitors came to his house and he barely had any—he was living so, you know, with less stuff. And he made them some tea and then he said that, 'Please bless it before I drink it.' And they said, 'Father, how can we bless it? You know, before you drink it, you bless our tea.' You know, he said, 'No, bless my tea and I can't drink it otherwise.' And he took blessings further from everybody. And he was such a massive, like, huge saint. Like, his stories are, you know, I can't—I was so shocked. And I remember that day I came to satsang and I gave Ram my mala. Remember one day I was telling you, 'Bless it, bless it.' Remember one day I came to—I got so inspired. I felt like, you know, I've got a mala to get blessed by you. I was—I wanted it, you know, just to follow this. He would take blessings from everyone, this, you know, everyone who came to him. This is—it's really sweet. Thank you. I hope that I can become like a humble saint and treat everyone like that and ask for everyone's blessing in the same way with the same faith.

Beautiful. We don't know in what form Ram will be found or will meet us.