Lost in God or Being a Servant of God, There Is No Other Position - 18th August 2023

For a long time, I understood it is belief. Also, I always thought I related more with attention, really playing with it, trying to get it in the same way. But at this, like, see something... I'm talking with faith, but there's some part that God knows it's in the mind, but there's something... this is... yeah, it's like I see the lack of people. So like, like this morning I was having a conversation, I was very clear about it, but they... I could also stand somewhere, something was looking like, you know, like God is listening all the time, you know? God knows everything. That's why I go on with my mind.

That's why last time we were talking about the different levels of beliefs and feels. Beliefs of God may be helpful for its first step. You go from disbelief, 'I don't believe in God,' to 'I believe in God.' But that is only the first step. Mostly, like, that is enough. It enables you to trust your intuitive insight more than what your senses are showing you, more than what your mind is proposing. Let me ask you, say, just ask for the time, like, yeah, what is more real? God?

Yeah, so I know it is here.

You can see your hand?

Yeah, can you see a hand? I can see the hand, yes.

But you can see... I can see, but the hand is not seen, yeah. Yeah, so are you seeing fingers around? Yeah, using a palm or a hand? This is the moment we start to label our perception, we are no longer seeing. It's too much. We don't ever see what we label. A label is just a construct we put. So again, going to Zen today, I don't know why, but the Zen master said, 'I see no table. I see a slab of wood and four legs.' Then they'll say, 'I see no slab of wood. I see something...' You'll break it down. 'I don't see it.' So our attempt to construct a notional version of reality from the world of perception is what gives rise to our narratives. Now, independent of these narratives, what is? Apparently independent of any label, what is the path?

I think like when he said this is seeing, so that I can say yes, I am seeing you. And this 'I am,' can we see about that?

So there are two ways to do this. First way is that you will make 'I am' also a little... get into concept. So I read in this Upanishad, this is about the 'I am,' all of them. He said, 'It used to be and you continue to be empty of the narrative.' And just check, are you still here? But are you here as something or somebody? As either somebody or nobody? So what can we say about this 'I am'? Different places and whose presence? So we're finding out, as you're saying, we dropped all the labels and the presence remains. This presence is where? Within yourself. Although it may appear as if it is within the body, and the heart area is where it's usually referred to as the core of this presence. There's a presence. Whose is it? Are you sure it's not Casper the Friendly Ghost? Whose is it? It was very absurd, yeah, that there's a presence within us and we all, okay, rules, just neglect that. But if there is something wrong with our toenail, you would go to ten doctors to check it out. It is a presence, you know.

It's like it must be my presence.

Yes, yes, but don't go with any influence. Don't go with any 'must be.' Just keep checking. Does it have a boundary? Or does it start? Where does it end? So away all words. If the mind is something you hear as God said, 'I am that I am,' forget about it. I know too, forget it. Check for yourself. I mean, with the seeing, it's sort of the capacity. But who is it? I don't know. I mean, it's not worth it. But who is it? It doesn't feel like... I mean, whose presence here? It's just a roving presence? Is it like that? It's fine and it's God's, but it's not claiming that. Yeah, it's God. Is this presencing basically what can you do? Me? And sometimes we reduce God to that. He's chilling, just chilling. You guys want to ask my boyfriend, 'What are you doing, man?' We should catch hold of it. Something. What is it? Just being? Is it just being? All the fancy things we say about God, should we throw them? I hate you. Just being. Became intelligence, omnipresent, omnipotent, and common report and everything. I hope it is true. Omnipresence, omnipotent. How is this little old presence sitting here? How is it omnipotent? How is it omnipresent? Personally, the light of this universe, that light in which the light of the sun shines. Whose light? This little presence? Look.

This is... but it's not words right now. Follow me. I think I can... I can't find the boundary of it, but it's still very little. And it's if the waves... I can't conceive the omnipresent for everything. So where is it? I know you're coming with this question, you already always pre-empt it. It still seems like it's surrounding the 'I,' surrounding my body. It's near, surrounding the body or behind the body, or speculative.

That's right. You have to be very careful of 'seems like.' Okay, really. Because what is another word for 'seems like'? Really, Maya. Maya is another word for 'seems like.' That which seems like it is true but is actually untrue is Maya. So if we go with 'seems like,' it is the realm of speculation, or actually, it is Maya. So don't just stop at 'seems like.' If it seems like, dive into it deeper and confirm it. So it seems like this is whatever, but then you can have a second control. Of course, you know what I mean. So again, if you go... the first thing is get rid of narratives, and that can only happen for me. I see there's no mind, then that's the only possibility. Otherwise, the first thing will come in. And in that situation, when you said the God is as real as your path, so I can see that business which is beyond that, that presence which is beyond narrative, but still I can't see that as omnipresent. I still see it as surrounding me or surrounding still somewhere related to 'I.'

So what can happen is that sometimes we make a tag team between our mind and heart. So we use the heart because we cannot find this without intuition. This is already... we are using heart. Now don't change the mode of knowledge. Stay there. Only answers come from there, you see? Otherwise, what is happening is... and I enjoy sometimes we don't have podcasts because I can speak what's happening. Sometimes we are coming to the discovery and we go give it to the mind and say, 'Yeah, thank you anyways. Is this everywhere?' And also we're doing the tag teaming thing because what do you think the mind will say? 'Yes, yes, you leave me, you fall.' So don't give your insights. You've made a beautiful chocolate cake, to paraphrase whatever stupid revenue where you are absent to Americans, and yet it is known that there is a presence here. That will tell you the restrictors or whatever phrases you use.

Then my mind is trying to fit in that text, that experience. God likes God. So it tries to make a new framework of reality, a new concept to give me a little... try to fit that and do that. And that's why all Masters will constantly contradict themselves. They don't want you to collect ideas and say, 'Okay, this is how it is.' Go beyond this top story. Shh. I live the children's hand for me was on from Satya and I'll translate English. So Kojima vision... carnatic... it's a very important song. Reporting of mental knowledge which you don't need to. So stay innocent, stay empty, even if it feels uncomfortable because you want to grasp it finality, so 'I know everything.' But allow your heart to reveal. But this gets all these returns with more and more beautiful. As if I woke up one day and I knew everything and there was no deeper insight to be had, that would be quite dull. It's to discover ways of expressing it. Sure, it's more and more beautiful, it's more and more full of awe, awesome. And you start looking at reality, how awesome reality is compared to what our notion of what any of these forms available. There's so many awesome things. The highest being in the universe, most intelligent, the most loving.

It returns with more and more beauty. As if I woke up one day and I knew everything and there was no deeper insight to be had—that would be quite dull. To discover ways of expressing it, it's more and more beautiful, it's more and more awful, more and more full of awe, awesome. And you start looking at reality—how awesome reality is compared to what our notion of what any of these forms available. There's so many awesome things. The highest being in the universe, most intelligent, the most loving, the light of all lights—where does he live? He said, "I live within." He lives there, and that itself is stunning. You could have a curtain of disbelief somewhere, you see? Somewhere that disbelief comes from just wanting to be, to have a regular life. The mind will come and say, "Don't lose your mind. What will people say? You have responsibility. They will laugh at you."

So that is to say that my mind is now more intelligent and telling me how to run this life rather than the intelligence that is running this whole universe. Because we make categories. Okay, all these interventions that we see around us, we will say, "Oh, that's nature." What is nature? Nobody ever questions these things. We say, "Oh, nature is a beautiful thing." Even atheism is... what are you talking about? What is nature? Yes, but even these people think nature is so beautiful. They're talking about an intelligence, an intelligent being who's evolving all of this, making the plants grow and the birds fly. "In nature," yeah, categorization, because you're just like, "Oh, that's nature." You're gone. So you've given Godly qualities to some other word, and you feel like the more you deepen into this, you will start noticing the absurdity of the labels. Everything from avoidance of looking at the one that is here—that is basically the main objective of the mind: to avoid. When you start turning towards it, what happens? Yeah, what happened? Temptations. Those things which are looking regular and normal suddenly start stunning, because to the mind, to find this is to die. To come to God, to the mind, is to die.

I should say this earlier: to the mind, that which is nothing—not even nothing, beyond nothing, beyond nothing—is that which is actually everything. What is that? So this is the lifetime project that I'm giving you. If you don't feel like there's a presence within you, you must dedicate your life to finding it. If you feel like it is there but I don't know who it is, maybe it is biological, then dive deeper into it. Why are all these strange people saying this is God? Why are they going to put their photos up on the walls? Those who told us God lives within you, me, or that man, within everybody around us. Why are they saying like this? Were they trying to fool us? And who lives here besides this presence? Are there two present here? Because it's quite obvious with only this one presence, that must be according to Jesus. Because we don't have to insert this, we don't have to rely on the "must be," we can dive deep into it.

So this is the project. And as far as the Absolute is concerned, only in the light of this is the Absolute possible, but that is not up to us. Could it be true that we spend our whole life chasing things, but actually the treasure is here? In what ways will the sages remind us? "The diamond is in your pocket, you're sitting on the treasure begging for a penny." Kabir Ji says those things. Everybody looking for... what is it? What is the red color precious stone? So everybody chasing rupees, but in the pallah we have this. In the olden days, everybody would carry this cloth and they would keep their valuables tied in a knot in that. So everybody has the Lord within them and the rupees there, you see? But nobody opened the knot and checked what is there. And they let this world computer operation... very clearly he has told us. So what is he asking us to open up and check if there's a treasure as well? The sages have told us as directly as possible. So the mind has made poems out of them, metaphors out of them. We don't take it literally, or we just postpone. So be careful of this habit of postponing.

As you deepen this discovery, most of you is gone. You will not be able to place a reference to yourself. The "me" that you used to take yourself to be is fading away because that "me" was just a belief system. We were talking about it last night. If you picked up the idea, "Oh, I want to watch the next headphones," okay, so if you don't pick it up, it's not part of your conditioning. But if you believe it, then you become that person who always wants to watch the next headphones. There could be a few in this room. So then you will have something. As a combination of all your beliefs, you will have created a unique person, a persona which is called an individual. Is it? Then as you are making yourself deeply in your heart, you find that there's no landing space for these ideas. Who would hold them? Who do they belong to? So most of you—most of what you call that belief system, that "me"—gets wiped more and more as you deepen in this.

Right now I'm aware of some desire arising that really wants to make a report, like about how great my time or life has been since I was here last year, because of what's being discovered and wanting more and more. And yet I can also see that that feels less true or less real. It's like you have to pick up the character of the seeker to talk about how well that illusory one is doing, as opposed to actually just being.

Yes, actually this is a very important point. So we arrive that the mind, the spiritual ego, wants to pick up this seeker mode and say the seeker is doing so well, or badly, whatever. It's two sides of the same coin. Or jealous sometimes. The mind tricks our senses. Or just, it's better to keep quiet, not to say anything, you see? But that is to presume that the heart cannot speak. Would that not be possible? And if you were just hearing a very sophisticated mind coming to certain conclusions, you would not come here. Because we have enough sophisticated minds around you. You want to come to satsang to hear that? So just allow the heart to speak if it wants to. And the mind puts a gateway to that and says, "No, no, all words are mine." It's not true. The heart can use this mouth as well. So as we get used to remaining empty, you see, in the no-mind, in the unborn, often you will start to notice that our communication becomes heart-to-heart.

What you just said about the sages, what they're pointing to, like we don't take it literally—it feels like something shifted and it's like, it's literal. Yes, and also this battle of postponing. You know that something like the immediacy became real somehow. And it feels like there's been like an inbox. It feels like previously there was an awareness of the presence or whatever, but it felt like a place that could be visited and was visited at various moments throughout the day. And now it's more like flipped, and it's like life is actually being lived from that place. And maybe like the identification will go back to the mind temporarily, but because it's so unsavory compared to the natural state of being, it's more quickly realized and so naturally the being just comes back.

I'm emphasizing this—it's a very good report—but just to give you some more hours, I'm emphasizing on this point of God being the living being within us so that we don't look at the discovery as having come to a place like Columbus discovering what he thought was India but was actually going into an American dream. So many times in America we become like that. "Ah, there is that awareness." So that awareness being is... it's almost like we are discovering things as we are exploring. So they literally get taken as things.

But a living being... it sounds kind of weird to say this because before I thought that I had a very good sense of what we were referring to when you said like, "Oh, it's all presence." But now, actually, I don't feel that any of those labels can really convey. I really can't say what it is. And that felt a bit jarring for a bit because I was like, yeah, this would be aware of it. I used something that recognizes or feels or knows intuitively, but like this is intrinsically the most valuable or just the only real thing actually. But yeah, even like presence or awareness, that doesn't really touch it.

Yeah, so the best use is as pointers when we are communicating. Yes, very good.

I feel like what I've been trying to prod and provoke is the immediacy of this and the reality of this. It feels like—I think I probably said this before—it is completely like a different life. It's quite jarring because it's obvious that the ego, even if it was like a super sincere seeker, it still wanted to be a God for me. It was me, me, me. And then when you realize that actually that has nothing to do with anything, and all of that is just the same time, it kind of can seemingly continue and that's also fine. But it's like a total paradigm shift basically. And I think I'm really seeing and experiencing the actuality of that, not just like theoretically like, "Oh, it's like a different life." And I think that's how something feels very different than if it's just sort of like a glimpse or a momentary insight that the mind then conceptualizes and becomes something that it knows. Because as you say, it feels very alive.

And it also can't be... because that is a habit also, that we find something and you say, "Okay, what does this mean?" So now to break that, like what you were talking about earlier also, and allow that to just percolate by itself. Initially you can see it move underneath. "Am I finding the truth? Is this it?" The mind can taunt us with these questions.

It still feels there's something about it that feels edgy and more natural at the same time. And also the fact that you literally pretty much don't even need that off. I think that's been another huge kind of... because now it seems quite clear that mental chatter, in certain mind's dream, was just kind of a part of daily reality. And so the contrast now of the actual stillness and silence and the... it's great. It's so crazy. The mind couldn't be further now, completely unnecessary. It is obviously, but then when you see it, it's kind of like, "Whoa, that's right." No need to categorize and say practical things, especially because that which is running this whole world can handle so-called practical life. And the word "insipid," I think you used this, is so clear. It's just... and I love the example, I think that was really helpful. The example that you gave about what is happening right now, you know? And if we try to categorize it or classify it, we could never even encapsulate just a tiny fractional fragment of what this is, let alone the depth of all there is beyond. So I just wanted to share that that has been really helpful and what that is feeling more and more obvious.

Because in our fantasies and belief, we've got to wonder your flights, as you say, it completely belongs to... So I was saying that as we've discovered this, most of the "me" is... it should be 100%, because that itself can keep the rest of it alive. And then with that one, you can transform and do like a spiritual ego, very strong achiever in spirituality. Empty of me, all this... the "me" that remains which proclaims an emptiness of me is a very, very dangerous one. Should be careful of that. You know, there's really many of those in spirituality, especially in charge of something like that. Very careful, because all the sages have reported that a remnant of the "me" remains for even the highest beings. So it is important.

That itself can keep the rest of it alive, and then with that one, you can transform and do like a spiritually go very strong achiever. And spirituality empty of me—all this 'the me that remains' which proclaims an emptiness of me is a very, very dangerous one. One should be careful of that, you know. There's really many of those in spirituality, especially in charge of something like that. Very careful, because all the sages have reported that a remnant of the me remains for even the highest gains. So it is important to keep that one head bowed down in servitude to God. Not your spiritual achievers over 18 years; Atma is very detrimental. Is that kind of the goal? They never listen to even searching like this because it knows everything. Nice.

But inherent in that is a deep sense of insecurity because in the heart, they know that this guy, the me that still had been out like that, is not healthy. Yeah, like also couldn't even see it because it is saying the same stuff, properly saying the same stuff, yeah, and confirming it. But that's what I'm saying: the difference between belief and faith. Belief relies on believing spiritual concepts—I know this, I know that. Faith is to be empty-fisted, reliant only on heart. Okay? Mind wants to constantly validate, constantly validated. Correct. Because it's fearful, it doesn't have a solid foundation, so it constantly needs to prop itself up. So the magnetic plates: approval, certification, verification.

It's constantly insecure because it doesn't last. And it will also say that, 'Yes, but Father said it's light of every light.' I can't see that yet. It's trying to prove wrong using some other way. You know this? Yes. Whoa. Obedience and reverence through the words of the mind, you see, although the mind will never admit because it is so we do to the mind. You may say it happened to the same person, but it really doesn't. Who we are, then we are obedient to the mind, and servitude to the mind is in service to the heart. So that which is left of us, it has been a servant of God.

And that it is protesting that there is nothing left of me—whatever that is, the one that is the one that must be in servitude. Me, because I... but in reality, nothing is left of me. There's nothing more me. Who will become that one? That is the one that I'm talking about. The spiritual low achiever or wants to be. Keep surrendering to God.

What they were saying, that the presence, that peanut-sized presence—find it omnipresent. Like, it appears small as well, somewhere inside. And we are saying use the same tool with which you know the presence to know its omnipresence. But the tool... I am not able to find this presence. It is some that small peanut something, but like you're saying, it is a perception.

Yeah, so you're using perception to find that. And how often said that that is the tip of the iceberg or the hand of God? Because we're so attached to name and form where God has to do so much. So He has to first send us a form in the form of a Master. I have not seen one who has come to freedom without a Master who has to send this information. Then that form has to tell us about the form of the primordial vibration within ourselves as a window into the unfathomable presence. So that is why a question like 'What is the boundary of your presence?' really becomes like a koan for you. Because at some level you can perceive it as pulsation, you see, the heart vibration. And yet, why are you unable to answer that? Like, very few of you are able to say 'peanut-sized' because you're not relying on just the perception of it, and neither are you... you're just communicating.

But when you ask, 'So where does it start and where does it end?' you should be able to say, 'Oh, this is like that here, here, plot it out.' But you can't, you see. So with which instrument do you know that you can't, like, unplot it anywhere else? That you can't find the boundary of it? How do you know? Okay, find the boundary. Where's the boundary of this planet? If you were alive just on perception, then you would say, 'Yeah, and then I don't feel it here,' like that. So now, because the mind can say, 'Okay, just like things, where is the straw?' you can determine based on the perception of it. Because just asking, 'So what is the boundary of your presence?' is stopping you. Yeah, something is stopping you because there's another source of knowledge which is... isn't it? It is not letting you say.

It's the same source of knowledge which doesn't accept that the death of this body will be the end. It makes even the most atheist people, right, rip when people die. See, like birth and death is not natural concepts for us or any of us. He misses his body was born, this body will die, but that 'I will be not there' is very tough. Because this, just like you are unable to deny the boundlessness of your presence—or at least that you can't find its boundary—okay, not so easily accept the end of yourselves. Intuitively, your intuition is screaming at you, stop screaming and better apparently showing you that you are deathless.

And when I got into spirituality, if somebody had told me there's a room in which if a question is asked, 'Have you met God within yourself?' and most people nod their heads, even though they may be little doubting themselves, whatever... but most nod their heads. Not possible, you see, because God-realization... so I used to say earlier, because I'm more convinced it's like that. So I said, okay, so seven billion people of that time, maybe six, six and a half billion people. So what are the odds? One in a million? So if seven billion, then how many will find God? Come on. Yeah, so 700 will find, correct? So if 100 million are the odds, therefore then seven billion, seven thousand million... yeah, 700 million. Seven billion is seven thousand million. So how is seven thousand possible? Yeah, count as a mathematical... the rarity of it is rarity of one thing only: this. And not wanting this, so that something else for me. This is God for me. It's the prevalent notion of spiritual: 'I want to achieve that I can be happy, that I...' something that meaning is always paramount. Therefore, we are actually worshipping the little 'me' more than God, and God is just a means towards making that 'me' happy. So the world is in a state of 'me' worship. How will they find God?

As you imagine, like a cocktail room conversation, what do you find going? I don't know. Okay, but what did you get? Shift. That is the contradiction there. You always feel good now? You always have peace? Or do you have some siddhis? If you're still like, 'Okay, God, okay, but so then what did you mean?' I'm sorry, as I have to come into this room in everyday record, they're talking with God, be God, the one God. I have to absurdity the living being of God, like the continent of Antarctica, very deep within. Ah, there I'm sitting over there. Becoming a parallel. So how to put his spot in love? Never actual being, actually being. And we call it beings, call it being like... to meet God, the legislative. Why can't we just meet God and say, what tantrum with God? 'Why is my life like this?' and leave it for God to say, 'Whose life?' If he said that and it's all that sound too absurd on me, unrealistic and not possible, then are we spiritual? What does it mean to be spiritual? Because if you're spiritual, then can God actually be found? Holy spiritual.

You talk to these people who will tell you it's real, not possible, coffee. And yet they consider themselves religious and spiritual, most of them. Why? Questions, questions which these people's mind also asked that question. Those people are just a representation of that same doubting commerce. And that thing that represents is the source. I still look at it like some oil universe. God is the source of love and find out. How is it a biological reaction, a chemical reaction? What, what is it? It's always if you just feel a good poetry. I was never good at this. My daughter will listen to any song. It says basically saying there is the same thing whether I love or I pray is the same. So some very even popular culture, all these things are being shared, but you look at it only poetically, metaphorically. Is all unconditional love forward to know? If you love God is to pray to God. Hearing this town, what is the difficult? Because he's only one question: 'What about me?' You may not realize all this is fine, but what about me? Got into like flavors of ice cream. Oh, that is not awareness. No, that is the beingness. And it is awareness scientifically, it's not many times in our understanding of... we made it very soon. Yes, do like scientific explorers. Ah, yes, I found, you found, right?

If all this is true, then how it should be lived? The answer to that is very simple. To live in God's will is to be guided by the presence momentum, either in the form of action directly... and the guidance doesn't always have to be there, 'Do this' in utility. Like these words are sprouting out this part with no plan, no idea about what is going to be said next. The same reactions. That is true guidance is received, then to follow that and be within you. And maybe not able to follow, and we bring you to bring that into our prayer and ask for help in being able to follow God's guidance. Oral help is if you don't expect ease in December at home. Expect it to always be easy. That actually makes life very simple, but the direction may not always seem easy to follow. Be your guided about what is to be done. So for time where our life is complex because we are choosing between options—'I don't know what to do, this, that'—is that so? Okay, guidance is available to us. So that makes the thing very simple, but it may not sound easy to always follow that kind, although mostly it is accompanied by a sense of ease, a sense of peace.

Get a better thing. You are at work. Are you sure there is no wrong number? So it is going against all your sensibilities. So that's how to do. Then living in that way, then our life becomes a temple too, becomes a true representation of God's life. And then naturally, without us looking or getting increase, actually those who are drawn to God's light will get drawn to us and receive His grace through our guidance of the spiritual journey, so to speak. At God's voice, a kissing one is like God's willingness, one is just moving. Yeah, one is still learning, but he's like... it's a clear voice. One is just like a movie. It's much quieter than... it's still something. It's not just empty, like it's just like an example. Like every time I go into the car, I have to get myself out. I'm not able to, where even if it's a gap. And I noticed today I came in a gap and I just like reminders, you know, my heart just... it will not like remove your slippers. You just know, you know. But also like if you can say more, like you said, like even say a guidance comes to somebody, that's also...

Yeah, so when we empty here, that is the time where we are truly knowing anyway. Empty, that is when the truth is known, you see. And we can use that also as a tool, check whether we are actually following our heart or our mind is tricking us. Not that anything you said was a mind trick, but which is like something I had to share with you and there was no guidance. I just waited and I heard the voice saying 'say yes,' but I kept asking for this, 'Is this your voice?' because I'm not sure yet. I am... I'm not sure. I'm not sure that I'm... I'm not sure that I'm living it. It's a little hazy. Like when it is empty or when that quiet voice is there, it's like I have to be in search of not doing myself, but it's very clear. But this, when it comes as a title, sometimes I'm not... I'm like, what? I can see if the mind doubting sometimes, but I'm not sure.

So let me break it down. Okay. So first is that her intention to follow God's will, if it is true and it is innocent and we follow that intention even as the mind is tricking us, but our intention is to follow God's will, then God will take care of that, you see. Anytime what happens is that that's why I said innocent, because many...

The inserts are not doing myself, but it's very clear. But this, when it comes as a title sometimes, I'm like, what? I can see if the mind is doubting sometimes, but I'm not sure. So let me break it down, okay? So first is that her intention to follow God's will—if it is true and it is innocent and we follow that intention even as the mind is tricking us, but our intention is to follow God's will, then God will take care of that, you see? Anytime what happens is that—that's why I said innocent—because many times we aren't smart about it and say, 'My intention is to follow God's will,' but you can smell it inside somewhere that it's coming from the mind. So we're trying to fool ourselves and thinking we are fooling God in the process; that doesn't work. But truly, with innocence, if our intention is to follow God's will, then even if we are following the mind... so it's not that God is running this world as enemies, right? So he's not going to take our true intentions and make bad stuff out of it. So if you truly intend to be a servant to God, but we've listened to the mind thinking it is God, God will take care of that situation first.

Secondly, how to know if the command is coming from God? I have filters you can use: the presence of unconditional love or the presence is okay. As soon as you say, 'My mind, like, I hate this thought that I'm not sure,' something doesn't want to just... yes, okay. So we'll come to that point. I just finished this thing. So the presence of unconditional love is a good indicator that it's coming from the heart. The presence of the presence itself, if it is powerful, that's a good indication that it's coming from the heart. But most foolproof is if your reality is apparent to you and these words are coming in that apparency. In some instances, like yes, reality is apparent and then this voice comes, and the doubt is to be careful that it is not that earlier thing that we talked about, which is that inside our reality is an hour... it shouldn't be like a switching in the sense that, for example, because we discovered the presence intuitively but then we give it to the mind and say, 'Hey, what do you think?'

So when I'm saying use the third tool, which is that your reality should be apparent to you in that moment itself, it should be like, ah, apparent here. It's not like a license from the past; it's a live thing. Yes. So if then that can be trusted. Thought can also come, no? Thought can come. It's yes, when your reality is apparent, your intuitive powers are at the highest, you see? Because they can only be apparent intuitively. So very quickly you will be able to discard if a thought comes, nothing really garbage vision, just right. Because your intuition is alive, this is apparent to you that the fragrance of heart guidance versus the mind's will be very, very clear. And believing a thought, this is a voice, yeah. So there's nothing wrong with even this. So what you're doing, you should continue doing. So if there's guidance but there's doubt, yeah, then you must keep taking it back to God. Yeah, please guide me, I'm not sure. It's very wholehearted as a woman, like, I just want to be yourself, I want to follow your command, but you have to teach me how to listen to you because there are many times that I feel like I'm not sure because different voices come and I'm scared. I'm scared because it could be such a trick to just be lost thinking you're following God.

This is how we learn and establish ourselves more and more in the way of the development of trust happens in between. A little bit the fragrance will become more and more apparent. Just learning to be more just like, give it more time when it comes. Just nothing, there's no need, like you said once, you don't have to rush. Yes, the God's way. Because initially when you started, it was so mindy. It's just like, if there is doubt, just don't know, don't act on anything, just keep checking. But like there is, when I said display is that, display some disbelief somewhere, you know? Like it's so new, it's a power of condition, yeah, that this seems unnatural to talk to people, seem natural. Yes, it is actually the other way around. Even when you say some things to me, like even though I knew that conversation was so alive, some disbelief is there. Yes, sometimes the mind creates like a fantasy around it, it removes the rationalness from it and makes it really something strange. That's all tricks we make in learning.

I can relate to what you're saying because the only groups for reality till now are those two things, right? Perception and conception. And this is beyond that and everything mindfulness. Because till now the reality is only which I can see, right? That's everything. I think there is enough annoying, I need to drift. It's becoming more clear, but as you say, I am checking the validity of it using my mother when I have a heart-driven... it's clear, it's really hard, but I check it with my mind or somebody else's mind or protective words from everybody before I say it's true. What is popular seems to be true.

Yes, yeah. I just right now, I just... I'm like kind of just in my honeymooning and I don't really... it doesn't feel attractive or I don't really care whether I'm receiving guidance or it's just like... is that okay? It's really okay. The guidance has always been here, it's just that we have been so busy with mind, it just never heard it. And in the business meaning like, it's a learning, learning how to listen to it. It's really important. This humility is important. We must always feel like we're beginners. That which is the most natural food here has become like a big learning. Intuitively we can't say that, ah yes, yes, now my intuition is being really sharp. And although I just said that, but in a manner of speaking with him, that it is so clearly intuitive like that, the recreation of ourselves as awareness is so pristinely and purely will be intuitive because no perception, nothing can fathom that to any extent. That is what I was trying to convey, you know, we're being sharply into things.

Don't worry if it doesn't land, but the minute something lands when you're starting working, so it is full of the way we can listen. We keep it here and there. I can believe, how does it hurt? It hurts because of that. The minute you get interested in something like that... okay, so if your interest lies in coming back to God and not interested in the mind at all, then nothing the mind can say can hold you back. What happens is many times you feel, I guess is, I want God but also what are you saying? Yeah, like that of, you know, she's like that, some judgment, some being right, something is... I really want God but I also want to know, I want to be right. So we have to return to complete emotions at the cost of it seeming very wobbly also, like you don't know, you cannot convince you truly what you want in your heart is God. Then you need to conclude or to be right or to judge, she cannot be that strong. You cannot have both.

But the mind says, 'No, no, it's good, I want God on the arm. Look at me, I really love God, come on, God so much.' But at the same time, you will love your judgments or convictions, your knowledge. That's when it was difficult to seem like you're having to juggle, will seem like no oscillation. Do not be right about everything. In fact, to be wrong about everything and to live in God, or to be right about everything but not let me know... what do you prefer? That is the question. Ultimately you have to drop everything that you think you are right about. Suppose you have a nemesis and you always consider that nemesis to be wrong about everything and yourself to be right about everything, but God said to you and said, 'You have to bow down in front of that nemesis and admit that they were right about everything, but I will live in your heart.' So our ability to only admit that we don't know, we don't know to the extent that we are wrong about everything we think we know, that makes us innocent enough to get God. But if you are attached to righteousness, if you are attached to wanting to be right, wanting to know things, then God will just be conceptual advice or a rarity.

When we give ourselves a break from being right, see, try to not be right. So be careful of any false humility because humility also sometimes feels like there's a pride in humility. Have you applied fully humble? So how much I am so humble through humility. But when you really have to, if that's when we live again, yeah, testing. I mean, otherwise you could say, 'Yes, whatever Father,' and you genuinely mean it at that time. I mean, it's not as if you're lying or something, you're not pretending. But then it really comes to following that instruction, but would never do it. And the other son would just say no, I want to... then which is the better son? A biblical story: the second son said no, no, no, but later realizes and does it. But the first one says yes, yes, it's everything, never say no to Father, who has not done anything with this. It's linked to that: the road to hell is built with good intention.

So, one a good doctor eating and clearly I would really have and also you know, right? But then and I came for some time what I was asking or where I was asking questions me for those things or or it could be that okay whatever that place was only down from where it was being asked. The filter for that to check whether if you pray on it or is itself selfish or not to pray on this is that, as I've been saying, that if you're going to spend time worrying about it, then don't say it is selfish to pray for it because you're going to waste time worrying about it anyway. So just pray on it and say, 'Please help me with this, I'm not able to deal with it.' But if you are empty about... don't make a position then.

So I'm saying that don't take a position, correct. But prayer is a better position than worry. No, I see security. So when you now say to talk to her or whatever, I don't know if I don't have a position to either, what should I... yeah, I'm not saying that I must tell you that we have to communicate in that way. To be in communion is different than to communicate. Because I'm saying communion, yeah, because communion is to be in the presence of God, is to commune together. Satsang, then fine, you don't have to, you know, have new like conversation with God being done. You watch, right? Those are happening, it's fine. And I've given you the tools to check. It's just the presence of unconditional love, the presence of presence, and the apparency of your reality as yourself confirm that.

Like I... we talked before actually, this being something in space now, even now when I do the ideas like powers. So to love God, I still take it to be that thing only and still try to love it. Is that okay? Or as a mixture, what is the love horizon? That's all too.

It's a relationship. This is letting go of the limited self. As long as the regions is to the limited self, God will just remain conceptual and emotional Japan. So it's a relentless letting go of the limited self because the lane is too narrow to have more God. And if there is a me, there cannot be God, and if there is God, there cannot be me. Since God was a living reality for you right now, how would your life be different? What would you worry about? Are you still worrying? If you're worrying, it means that you're not taking God to be a reality; you've taken it to be on the me. But when there is only me, there is no God. What else? What would make you unhappy, conflicted, oppressed? That's what I mean when I say that we may all believe in the concept of God, but we don't live as if God is reality. And for all of us, there is a meeting go on. I promise you that the presence that you're meeting within is God's presence. There is no other presence with God. So your mind is the doubting mind which you keep saying, 'Am I? Is it? Is it happening? Will it happen?' Throw it away. Do we remain empty? Remain humble. So God is here as your presence, or do you have to fix what?

Conflicted, oppressed—that's what I mean when I say that we may all believe in the concept of God, but we don't live as if God is reality. And for all of us, there is a meeting going on. I promise you that the presence that you're meeting within is God's presence. There is no other presence but God. So your mind is the doubting mind, which you keep saying, 'Am I? Is it? Is it happening? Will it happen?' Throw it away. Do we remain empty? Remain humble. So God is here as your presence. What do you have to fix? What do you have to solve? So whatever remains of you now, let that be in service to God. There's a 'you' that is lost in God's presence; therefore, there is no such 'me' remaining. Or the servant of God. There is no other position. Lost in Him or servant of God. No selfishness, no 'what about me?', 'when will it happen?', 'what's happened to me?'

Fully with you. Fully one. None of that. Nothing for me. God. And any other position that we pick up, we are actually saying that, 'God, you are not here,' because this needs me to come alive, needs my mind, needs me to fix—which is basically saying that You're just an emotional idea. This presence belongs to me. You see, the mind is the conspiracy to take over the presence individually. This is God's presence. This Atma belongs to God, not to the ego. To encroach upon it as if it is personal is the play of mind. That is the whole game of 'I am something.' The minute you attach something to it, you've encroached upon God's presence. So don't ask why God would let that happen. Stop it. Stop it. You don't understand it. You can't surrender and understand at the same time, right? Understanding is a function of rationality, and nobody who's being rational will ever surrender because rationality will always point you to some possibility of winning egotistically. That's why Guruji says, 'Run out of moves and you run out of moves.' Maybe your rational mind has given up. Don't be rational. Don't be as rational. So don't hear it as if I'm saying be rational.

If you live in your heart, that question is really... yes, yes, it's losing its grip. The need to understand loosens its grip in the presence of God's light. Your heart understanding is what you know intuitively, but you don't have a rational reason for it. It's like unconditional love. You have to sense it more and more. Again, the heart—it will seem like a cooling shadow of a beautiful tree, and your head will seem like this contracted, difficult place. So heaven and hell are both here. Where you choose to live is up to you. You can't book a room permanently. Nobody can come to a point within this now and say, 'I'll always be in heaven, only in God's light,' because if you become egotistical in that moment, you are out. And nobody can say, 'I'm suggesting God will never give me a place in His heart.' But every thought, every thought has to go. Even if it is spiritual, humble everything. And when pride comes, remember you are just a servant to God. This is a servant of God—the highest we can ever be.

So what is the battleground? Thought by thought. If you buy into the thought, you are here in the living experience of hell, even if it feels right and good temporarily. It is bound to lead to trouble. Suffering is the tail of this. And if you let it go and stay with your presence, even if the mind proposes a lot of things which will seem like, 'Oh, but I'm right, I know this, this is correct like this, I will not even follow Guruji, this is right'—only those we have to leave first. See? So that innocence will come once you give up a strongly held notion. That is why in satsang, I feel like in every satsang we lose a lot of those, and when we lose them, we don't realize what they used to be because they're gone. It's good. So it works in that way also. Deconditioning a lot of righteousness.

Who else but God could have made this play? All these layers and intricacy and intelligence. We can look everywhere and say, 'Wow, okay, that is nature, that is this, that is this, that is science, that is physics.' In all the creation, maintenance, and destruction, it is still very harmonious. Who else could have done this and made Himself hidden in plain sight? Some look at the skies, some look on top of a mountain, some look here and there, and God of course is everywhere, right? So this is right here as your very being. Very interesting. So when Kabir Ji said, 'Open the cloth, find the ruby, don't leave this world a beggar,' who is he talking about? Everybody has the cloth which has the emerald in it, the ruby in it, but nobody looks and we die a beggar. Who is he talking to? You and me. Okay? And not that all of us don't want to look—we all have this good intention, you see—but nobody wants to surrender fully to God today because we've got stuff to do. Hence, to let go moment to moment, thought by thought, right now—that is the only battleground.

This is all that I'm telling you—it is the pep talk for when the mind tempts you, for you to be able to back it up. This is the pep talk for that moment, the survival ground, you see. Right then, Krishna spoke to Arjuna in that moment; he really wanted Arjuna to fight when the time was right. So all that was the pep talk for him to fight. In the same way, the mind will tempt you just after satsang, maybe here itself. Something, some nonsense is said, and with this, hopefully the spiritual vitamins will be high. That is the battleground. Your devotion is the battleground. Humility—all these are important things for when the moment comes, because the moment comes in the guise of great harmlessness. 'I'm just telling you this is how it is,' and it makes you into somebody which is neither the one that is one with God nor the one that is a servant of God. It makes you into somebody special, somebody right. Don't let the mind ever convince you that something else is the problem. It's only the next thought. There is no hope if you can climb into the next thought. And hoping that we live in God's light, there is full hope that if we leave our next thought, you are living in God. You cannot open the door to hell and expect heaven, in the same way that you cannot dive into heaven and expect to fall into hell. Empty of conceptual knowledge—it is my blessing and prayer that your heart will remain, but you have to give yourself that chance. Reality. Otherwise, the circle repeats. He said, 'Godless, maybe a billionaire, but Godless is a beggar.'

I would just like to share. I feel that there's been like a big shift. For a long time, I felt like really identified with the one who was like always ready to disbelieve the next thought and even, you know, have like Shiva's Trishul tattooed on me, like at the ready to like destroy anything that's not real. And somehow, I don't know how to describe it exactly, but that was like keeping my focus on the mind and giving the interest and the attention on the mind and sort of being ever at the ready. And now it's like something has just a complete shift in focus. It's like, oh my God, the other way is you can just completely fall in love with that beauty and perfection that is beyond the mind and just be so faithful and wanting to honor that, that you don't even... then when the mind comes, it's like... do you know what I mean?

It's going to presence. All this sharing is to rev up the light so that it will be becoming indifferent to this. But in everybody's life, as much as you may love God deeply, the mind will always have a trick or two of which, you see, you always have a button or two it can press. So that's what I remember: guerrilla warfare. So when that moment comes, yes.

Cheers. Sorry, it just passed. I mean, since last year or something, it just felt like easy, you know? It's just so easy to like pass through the first line, and life has just been unparalleled in like the joy and the bliss and wow, you know. And then being interior and like going to sit in the meditation while we're on the ashram, and it was sort of like, 'Wow, what's happening?' But this week, that's when like I needed more like the weapons, actually. Do you have any sense of like why that would happen?

Sometimes it's just releasing. Sometimes it's important to go through that so we don't become arrogant or complacent anyway.

I could definitely try to get a little bit of like, 'Oh no, what's happening?'

Yeah, because especially if it's felt effortless and then it feels effortful again, then you have that sort of... that felt like, 'Oh, this one's got a bit of a vibe.' But then it was also seen that it's still the same. Okay. If there is, treat it as a blessing rather than like an entitlement. Anytime this is not going to be easy, we get caught in this because we get used to the ease. Because anytime you can just be very effortless, and sometimes in the pre-health conditions start to play out and they're using external healing circumstances to collaborate, and then the mind is judging and saying, 'Yes, yes, it's like this.' So don't expect it to be easy.