Just as You Are, You Are All There Is - 9th April 2019

Now your only struggle that is left is that we might still wait for our mind to confirm this, to represent this, to say that 'Yes, this is it.' But all of these confirmations or denials will be something only temporary from the mind. So continue with this seeing and pull into your inquiry everything that the mind is claiming to know, and you will see that it cannot know this simple reality which is so apparent to itself, you see, but not obvious with our worldly eyes and not obvious with our mind.

So in fact we are not lost. We never needed this road map because we are the destination. You are that destination which you cannot leave. You cannot escape the truth. So it is very good that you're starting to see the mythology of the mind, that the mind is building these stories about something which is not your reality. All its versions—the 'me' version, which itself is so unstable. You see, even our ideas of 'me' are so unstable. One year ago, something else; today, something else; ten years ago, must have been completely different. One year later, it might again be fully different. The ideas of 'me' are also not stable. We can feel like, 'Oh, there's this me that I have to get rid of,' but it itself is very unstable because it's just made up of ideas here.

Yeah, there was something earlier but—a thought, yeah. And I listened to it from her there and was considering like, 'Oh, could this be true or not?' But then as I listened on, it was like another branch off and then another one, and it was making it more and more and I—

No, exactly. Rubbish. Good. So just one similar—

Yeah, may recognize it.

Yes, because it can start many times very innocently. You see, 'The apple is green.' What can be the harm in that? 'Apple is green.' It's not, but it can propose these things, you see. And then, 'Ah, but I like red apples,' or 'When I had a green apple when I was very young, that was the sweetest thing I ever tasted.' Something very quickly, like you're saying, it starts building up this whole bunch of stories and ideas, although many times it reels you in with some bait which seems very harmless. 'Actually, what is wrong with this? It is only helping me,' you see, like that. And then quickly, quickly, quickly, you see that you are identifying as something that you can never be, as a limited bundle of flesh and blood.

You see, and nobody really in their heart feels this. Because if they really felt it, you would not say—even in the world, even in the Western culture, it is said after somebody dies, they say 'Rest in peace,' you see. But if they really considered that one to be the body, then what is there to rest in peace? It's dead. So we have this sense, or many say like this, that 'I will rest only after I die.' So these kind of things in our intuitive heart, these are very clear to us actually, that I cannot be just this set of sensations or this flesh and blood. I can't just be this. And yet the mind continuously is trying to convince us of our limitation.

You see, and the thing is, it does not leave it at just this body. The minute you start to see 'I'm not this body,' it becomes clear, then it gives you new ideas to hold on to. 'Oh, I must be a soul then.' In India also this is very prevalent: 'I am not the body, I must be a soul living in the body,' some idea like that. And then if you say, if you learn more and more and more, then you go from this concept to a greater concept. You think it's a higher concept. You might even say that—so sorry, Zoom went away for a moment, so if anyone typed some question, please, you'll have to retype that.

So even the voice on behalf of awareness, yes? Not what—say, for example, what would the voice say? Okay, so I'm all this, I find out that I'm this space which cannot be, and sometimes it's right like this, you know? Yeah, like this. So I'm so at peace. Yeah. So if, for example, he says—you say that all of this is at best a limited representation of what you are. So what about when it says 'I am that space'? It's okay, that space in which all of this—what you say—yeah, after having experience, 'Oh, in this space,' it's like it feels like you speaking, this voice is speaking on behalf of this.

Yeah, finally. So this which is—which you are finding—cannot be truly represented. At best, what you can say or what you can hear in satsang are some things which seem to point to this. You see, fundamentally they point away from your limitation. We can't even point to this in a way because it is so beyond time and space that there's no way to actually point to the Self. But you can point away from your limited idea of yourself. So even saying like 'I'm not this, I'm not that' is—seems like it's speaking on behalf of this awareness. But it truly—yeah, at best it is provisional, like Neti Neti: not this, not this, I'm not this. But ultimately, you are not left in this sort of ultimate negation, 'I am nothing,' you see? It is just—even when it's said 'You are nothing,' it is to point you away from your idea of your somethingness.

And this is how the mind somehow, when the recognition happens, mind also adapts to the recognition. That's why it starts speaking like that.

Exactly, exactly. The mind can use a lot of satsang words, and that's why some satsangs themselves can seem a bit painful, because in those satsangs we are demolishing even satsang concepts themselves. And it can seem like, 'But it took me many years to get to this point where I'm able to conclude that I am That. Now he's saying throw this away.' And notice the resistance to throwing it away. Because if you're truly talking about this inner insight that 'I am That,' it does not need the concept 'I am That.' And it is not a word; it is not attached to any concept at all. It's not attached to the notion 'I am That.' See?

So our spiritual buttons can be pressed sometimes. Something is really wrong with my eye. What happened? My—that one. Oh my god, it's come—you—there's nothing. I'm wearing shoes. Ow. I was leg crying. Don't have eyes get—don't you have those cold packs? It's our house, huh? Our house, move them and lost all. Oh, just put some—splash some cold water. You can take ice. Yeah, there's some eye drops. You'll put—should I put for you eye drops? But outside she getting this sort of grow—no, let's splash cold water.

The mind paints this picture for you that says that you are lost unless you are concluding something, that you must rest on some concept. But to rest on a concept is to define yourself, to separate yourselves—not in reality, the seeming separation. How many have the sense that you have to rest on a concept? You see? Have to make a conclusion about yourself. And it's funny because even if you say 'I don't have to,' it is still one. It's just—this is the mind, you see? Because it serves you both the assertion and its negation. It tells you this way and this way, and you can feel like either way I have defined you. Just a concept choice, yes.

So then Bhagavan talks about losing the 'I' thought. It is that we no longer need to make a reference to this 'I.' Then don't worry about the 'then,' but you may come to this kind of statement—or you don't have to make any statement—but if one day some of you are sharing, then you may say that 'I' removes the 'I' and remains 'I.' But if it sounds like nonsense right now, it's fine.

Father, even if I rest on a concept about me, yeah, it still feels like I'm on a very shaky ground. It doesn't feel settled and it feels like—like not being comfortable in our own skin.

Yes, it feels like that. Very. Because any concept can be debated and you can be convinced out of it also. Like you were convinced into a concept, you can also be convinced out of a concept. It just depends on the credibility of the source, you see. You might have some sensory experience which you're interpreting a certain way, so the mind can interpret it in such a way that a previous concept goes away. This happens to us so often that somewhere we know that even though I'm relying on this idea of myself right now, it is not giving me the stability, the contentment, and the stability that I'm really looking for.

So to look for stability in this world that is constantly changing, or to look for stability in our conceptual world, you see, both are folly. Because we've seen that constantly everything here changes. In anything that is perceived, it is the realm of change, you see? So at any layer of your existence which is perceived, it is going to change. To try and hold on to that, you see, is a folly because it doesn't stay. Whether it is the appearance of some people in our life or of some things in our life, whether it is the state of the body, whether it is our thoughts and concepts, whether it is emotions—all these things are part of a changing realm. And the minute you attach yourself that it must be like this, then the suffering is coming because nothing that has come can stay. So it is unstable, inherently unstable.

So where to find stability then? You're empty of the subtitles and you're empty of the judgment, the interpretation. I don't even want to say it is stable because even that is in the realm of opposites. It is beyond stable. And it's so funny that with the dropping of these subtitles, you will lose the idea of changing. You will not suffer from the changing appearance of the world, our thoughts, our emotions, the body, and its state. So many, many, many clues are given to you in satsang, but you just need one or two, then they are enough. If you use them like a clue can be: Who is there?

And you're empty of the judgment, the interpretation. I don't even want to say it is stable, because even that is in the realm of opposites; it is beyond stable. And it's so funny that with the dropping of these subtitles, you will lose the idea of changing. You will not suffer from the changing appearance of the world, our thoughts, our emotions, the body. And instead, so many, many, many clues are given to you in satsang, but you just need one or two; then they are enough if you use them. Like a clue can be: who is there in the space between two thoughts? And don't just think about it. Find who's there. A thought comes and goes, and there's always space, even though you may feel like your mind is very active. Is it? But you will find that if you say any notion, you will always have some space between that and the next one. It's not constantly ja-ja-ja-ja. It is telling you something which is pretending as if it is meaningful. It is saying, 'This is like this.' Actually, this is not like that, is it? So, between 'this is like this' and the next idea, are you still there or no? See, this 'you' that is still there in the space between your two thoughts.

It's like, so it has a thought, a thought, and it's believed in, yeah, a bit. But also, you know it's not, but then you kind of do believe it as well. And you want to expose it and say it, but then part of you is also doing that for reassurance that it's wrong, and then you feel like better for it. But then you don't want to have reassurance as such. Then there's a guilt maybe that comes of it, or you want to apologize, but you also don't want to own it. Is all of that just getting such a complicated play very quick? No? Oh, but this, I just wanted to reassure myself. But who am I who wants reassurance? But I don't want to feel guilty, you know? This, you see, that's why, yeah, huh.

Yeah, it's just... and it's not a trick or it's not some, you see, it's not some denial or avoidance or something like that, is it? It is just to remain empty of any interpretation and meet everything just fresh, is it? Now, I was telling Edward that day that now, what would be a true meeting? If you met somebody who came, suppose somebody just walked into satsang, if you met them with a lot of preconceived ideas, would that be the true meeting? Or you met them empty of any notion, just fresh, is it? I know the way I'm selling it, obviously it seems like this one. So, the same thing with whatever is arising, you see. Now, avoidance is to meet it with our preconceived ideas about what it is. Even when we say, 'Okay, but this is guilt and this is anger and this is something else,' you see, then we label these things. But these labels are very, very limited because if you look at it just energetically, you will find that you have never actually experienced the same energetic sequence twice. See? But our labels make them seem like some can say, 'I've been a very angry person all my life,' but actually you can never experience the same thing twice. But for this to become your insight, you just have to see without quickly putting this stamp: anger, frustration, this, that, you see.

So, just like this, the mind is offering you these problems and their solutions, you see. Both the problems and the solutions come from the mind, see? So that is why this works, you see, because nothing false is carried through in your freshness now. Now, say, 'Okay, but then how am I supposed to deal with this situation?' You see, now in that question, 'How am I supposed to deal with this situation?' what is the picture you have drawn about yourself? Are you saying, 'How is God supposed to deal with this?' Are you saying, 'How is Joanna supposed to deal with this?' So, and where is she? You see, fictional. It's fictional, mythical, you see. So how does the fictional one deal with anything? Cannot. It's just made up. So all of these things, this is what I mean by made up. So the problem is made up. How does the non-existent one, how is that one supposed to live? But it is not living; it is just a concept in your head, see.

Don't censor yourself at all, just say whatever is coming. But in some, I could maybe do that to myself, but it's now this 'I' is which one?

I'm not ego-policing you, I'm not, but I'm saying that it comes so quickly and paints a picture for ourselves as, 'Okay, but you again,' you see, this one, you see. And we buy into that and we say, 'Okay, then, but I could do that or maybe I couldn't.' So now, are we referring to God or is it the oneself or what are we talking about? Is it? And you'll start to enjoy this. That which feels a bit like frustrating now, you'll start to enjoy because you will see that it offers up stuff, but all of its offers are so full of identity that which I cannot be.

I recognize this voice now and then sometimes hear things. It doesn't sound right, sounds a bit strange. Oh, it's gone, good. But yeah, you want, I don't know, there's a part that wants to like still ask a question about it to move forward, but that's it, yeah.

Yes, so the idea of forward, of progress, all of this is all mythical. I think it was Krishnamurti or somebody who said progress is a myth. And the first time I heard this, I was just like, 'What are you saying? This is... what is the point of the whole spiritual journey then?' But that's exactly what he was saying. That mute yourself now. Well, I don't know exactly what he was saying and I can never say that this is what Krishnamurti was saying, but you see, but there is no progress for reality, which is just here now. Now speak as this one, speak of this one that is just here now. Is there a forward movement for this one? Is there a back step? Can you be stuck? Can there be an obstacle? Are you just saying like that? He gets used to saying no, no, no. Sometimes I usually, like if I go like this, then sometimes I shouldn't tell you, I should do it, but okay, I started. You see, sometimes in the middle of the no, no, no, I put a yes question just to make sure you start to enjoy this. You see, what initially when I look at your faces, they can seem a bit lost and okay, really like that, but then when you get used to it, you're not grasping anymore for, you see, 'Therefore, then what? So then what?' You see, you're not grasping for a conclusion anymore. 'What does this mean? What is this about?' He's used to going through so much Vedanta class, he must be so well-tuned to 'What does this mean?' So therefore, then, you see, like that. So when we leave that, you see, you can find so much space, so much freedom in this. You don't have to grasp for a conclusion. You stop finding either meaning or meaninglessness. Yeah, like little children then we become. They're not grasping moment to moment, 'What does this mean? What does this mean?'

And the 'me' is full of meaning, Father. Okay, this is a nice question, short, no, simple. Father, to just be, isn't that also an answer?

Yes, the time you try to just be, it's already too late. You decided, 'I'm just going to be.' But you were. Now you colored yourself with this idea of just being. All these provisionally, they can be okay. Provisionally they can be pointers, they can be reminders, they're nice, they're okay, you see. But now I want to tell you that anything that can be verbalized and you take that to be like an accurate representation of truth or something... 'Now I have to just be.' But in that conclusion, you are not just being. Being needs no effort. How are you being right now? There, that decision, 'I'm going to just be.' Now you may say that, 'Okay, to just be implies that I'm not going to attach anything to my sense of being. I'm not going to say I'm going to be good, bad, I'm going to be sincere, insincere, truthful, liar.' You may say, 'Okay, just being implies I don't attach any of this to myself.' Is it? That's good. It's a good point, it's a good reminder. But don't also then become like a habitual 'be-er,' you know, just trying to be, because that's also an attachment to yourself. Without any ploy, without any tactic, no strategy, because there is no problem to be solved actually. It is just that simple.

The mind will come and say, 'What are you saying? Does this mean that all this suffering, you see, that I had and I've been through or I'm having, you see, all of this is for nothing?' Yes, it can hurt. I'm not saying it's not necessarily a fun thing to hear, because we have given ourselves many military badges based on our suffering. But do they belong to someone that is actually there? Nobody. They're like medals on a ghost. Now, the fun thing also to look at is to see all the things that I want to get rid of, is it? But what is the stuff I don't want to get rid of? Because hide it as we may, this 'me' is our favorite person. This 'me' is our favorite person. So you may say, 'Okay, take the guilt and take the arrogance, take this, take the lust, take whatever we have designated as negative.' And nobody comes to me and says, 'Take the goodness, take the truthfulness, take whatever I consider myself to be,' because we feel that if I just get rid of the bad stuff, so-called bad stuff, and keep the good stuff, then I'll become the perfect version of me. And that is what this whole game is about. But it is not that actually. It is to let go of everything, hook, line, and sinker. Everything. This means unborn, this means openness. All my conclusions about what I think, they were never true anyway.

So the ego is like a ghost. Then you don't have to wait for the death of the ghost; it's already a ghost, it's already not there. Initially it will feel like you play a bit of a tennis match, is it? Where, okay, I'm saying like this, then because we're used to it, we go with that to the mind and say, 'Okay, Mr. Mind, what do you feel about this? This is what he's saying now.' And the mind thinks, then says, 'But ask him what about this then?' But my mind is saying, and the Master is saying, then again, 'This is what he's saying.' So you're the poor spectator for a while between the two voices you're hearing. Then this tennis match doesn't have to last too long. It doesn't have to last too long because you'll get tired of it. And hopefully you'll get tired of it in a way that you will stay with the voice of your presence. But sometimes you get tired of it and some actually say, 'Forget it, this is not for me, it is too difficult,' and just like, 'I'm just going to live with my mind.' It's okay, it's okay, that's how it goes, that's fine too. But of course, my blessing is for you to come to... if you have to take the refuge of one of these two voices, you take the refuge of your intuitive voice, your intuitive presence.

Sometimes it's like, seems difficult to identify the... it takes forms of memories, emotions, but somehow it's like, it's not only about identifying that, it is to go beyond, no? Somehow it's like to there, to awake something that is not denying, yes.

But okay, I tell you a secret. When you are not identifying, that is the awakening to the Self. It is not a two-step process. Not that, okay, first switch this off, then switch that on, because that is already on. Just getting seemingly obstructed is by the distraction of the mind. So this is what the Buddhists meant when they said Buddha-nature is never concealed. You never have to go turn the Buddha on. Shiva is never hidden; you don't have to go to Shiva and say, 'Come on, get on.' He's always on. So the truth is always on. It is the distraction of the false which is dropped away now. Otherwise, very subtly in these ideas, then the mind can make a doer out of you again. It can make a grasper out of you again. Now, I was talking about the mind versus the voice of your intuitive presence. So sometimes I can get a question like this also: 'How do I distinguish between the two?' And you'll notice that with the mind, there's always a sense of grasping, always a sense of some wanting, some need, something, you see. Even if it wants to get it, like get the truth, even if the claim is 'I want to just get the truth,' you find this sort of trying to grasp, you see, with the mind. With your intuitive presence, you're just sitting around. It is not saying you must get this now. It is just there because it is not concerned by time, it is not concerned by space, it is not in a rush, is it? Mind is somewhere always rushing, like that. But your being and the...

There is a sense of grasping, always a sense of some wanting, some need, something, you see. Even if it wants to get it, like get the truth, even if the claim is 'I want to just get the truth,' you find this sort of trying to grasp, you see, with the mind. With your intuitive presence, you are just sitting around; it is not saying you must get this now. It is just there because it is not concerned by time, it is not concerned by space, it is not in a rush, is it? Mind is somewhere always rushing, like that. But your being and the intuitive voice, the intuitive presence of this being, is never rushed. It's never pushy. It's never saying 'You must, you should,' you see. It just is.

And the good news is that if it is not clear, this difference, forget. Don't rely on any words. If there's confusion—'Is this my intuition or the mind?'—forgetting, you don't have to decipher it. Sometimes you'll hear it so clearly in your heart that this question will not be there. So it's good to... this question, his question is very, very, very important actually. That is the whole fundamental basis of Jnana Yoga in a way, which is that the truth does not need anything. All that is needed is to shine our light on the false, and in shining our light on the false, the false dissolves and it is seen the truth is just naturally always there. It is not the outcome of a process. It is not the effect of a cause. It just is.

And too quickly we go to a conclusion which says, 'Oh, now, now he said now like that, but nothing happened,' you see. 'Maybe I need to do something. Let's go wake up Shiva, he must be resting.' It's not like that. Shiva is just apparent to you. You might not have the vocabulary for it yet. You might not have like a perceptual experience of it, you see, but it is always there. That which you could awaken, you see, will go back to sleep. That which comes, goes. And here the mind is just like out of moves because it says, 'But it can't just be this. But what about true Self-recognition? It is here. What about that experience, you know, and people laugh and cry at the same time?' It is not needed. If it comes, it comes. But many can get stuck in those experiences also. So many seen like that through the years; you can see that they can have very strong so-called awakening experiences but can get stuck in the idea of the experience, of the specialness of the awakened one.

Nothing is needed. This is very worthy exploration. As you are, just as you are, you are all there is. No state can change you. And such great changes happen for you in a few hours, you see. This entire realm is going to disappear for you. Everything is going to go to nil, and yet you will remain. And you may find that a brand new realm is there suddenly, you see, and you seem to recognize even that. You may feel like you belong in that realm. Play with that for a bit, and then that will go. It might seem like you spent an entire lifetime.

One time it happened like this—some of you probably haven't heard the story. So, 6:30 or 7:30 in the morning, the children came and woke me up and said, 'Bye, Papa, we are going to school.' So I said bye to them. So this realm was there. Said bye to them, went back to sleep. Everything gone. Then a different place came. I spent one whole life, you see. Grew up, spent an entire lifetime. And then finally, because this being has a sense of humor, you see, so in that realm then I was half an hour late to an event. After living this entire life, I was half an hour late to an event that I was supposed to attend with my wife or something like that. And I could remember how that time was passing and I was worrying about getting late and all of these things. And then after having lived that life till that point, suddenly this realm came back. One entire lifetime was spent, but in this realm only half an hour had passed.

And why I said the sense of humor was that it made sure—being to play with itself—made sure that it noticed that passing of that entire lifetime, especially an additional half an hour, just to make sure that it could not have played this game of 'Oh, but that must have been happening in super fast speed,' you see. So time and space are so much just projections of this. Has this happened with you? You must have known, you feel like you have a short dream but actually a lot many years can pass in that so-called dream. So time is as malleable as space.

Now, the funny thing is we accept it about space, you see. We don't say, 'Oh, dream is a limited thing. If I run to the edge of my dream, I'll fall off the edge' or something, you know. We don't see it. It's like there can be mountains and rivers and you can keep looking at things and it's unlimited, you see. But when it comes to time, we feel like, 'Wow, how did that happen?' But it's the same as space actually. So just like all of this, then that can be experienced. So you already are not confused about your reality in that way because you've seen all this coming and going. You see, your being, yourself, is not confused about any of this actually. It is that somehow there's a habit of playing as if we are the confused one by picking up a limited idea of ourselves.

And what is that idea? Any idea, you see. That's why unborn, notionless existence, like we were saying. Even the most harmless sounding ideas very quickly can make a limited reference to yourself. 'The coconut is green.' Ah, last year I used to really have those green coconuts, they were really sweet water in them. Like, you can make reference to yourself very fast. And is the coconut green? That's a different conversation; we did that yesterday. Now, replace your knowing with wonder. In fact, to replace your knowing with wonder is organic. You can't try and create wonder; that is acting. Let go of these limited ideas of anything, everything.

I was going to say, I'll say a little bit, then you'll never be bored actually. So much intricacy in this play of light and sound, it is impossible to be bored unless you're making a very limited idea about yourself. Even now, there's so much play of shadow and light. This voice is coming, then there are these shiny things looking back at me, you know, these eyes that you don't really look at because we are so caught up in what we think is going on that we miss all of this beauty. Look, look at this. If you had to pay for a painting like this... it's available to you for free, but we are caught up in our photocopy of this painting.

So much variety in this room. There's how many different emotions even right now? Some are happy in bliss, some are suffering with frustration, some are just neutral, some are itchy, so much, so much variety. So much in this simple moment. I'm not saying we have to keep making these conclusions, 'Oh, this is happy.' I'm just now spelling it out just to point something. But we miss all of that because mostly we are just living in our mental concepts. That is why it is said that the one who is free enjoys even this manifest realm the most. They get so much of this variety of taste, and your attention is not constantly dissipated by this mind saying, 'What's in it for me? What am I getting?' Understanding this, all of these things. And if attention is not dissipated, you really get the taste of this. Otherwise, everything is a bit blurry—half with the mind, half with this voice, you know. It's all dissipated and everything seems a bit insipid.

In fact, what's happening in today's world is sort of a representation of this where when we go to any nice place, what do we want to do? Take the photo, take the photo, put it on Instagram, put like... you want to capture that. And we start, like I was saying the other day, I was telling Guruji or some of you also later, then because sometimes like in Rishikesh I would meet some very sweet one would come that maybe we met only online or something. I would say, 'Ananta, oh, so nice to meet you and so good, so good. Can I have a photo with you?' like that. So I say, 'Of course you can have a photo.' Then we have a photo together, and photo is done. After that, they forgot about me. It's only the photo. Nobody, nothing, just... you see. So this is what happens when we make these mental conclusions. We just like, 'This is what it is,' then we stop looking.

And I'm not saying that somebody's behaving badly or something like this; it's just the nature of the mind. It can feel like, 'Okay, this is what I wanted, now I've captured this moment,' you see, 'and I have it now with me.' So it can feel a bit like that, like 'Can I have the selfie?' and selfie is done, but the Self is forgotten. So just like that. So in this also, you're just waiting, 'Okay, what does this mean? Ah, this is what it means, I understood.' Sometimes it can happen to you in the beginning of Satsang. 'What is he saying? Ah, this is what he's saying.' And after that, you don't hear anything because you're just like, 'Yes, this is what he's saying, this is what... yeah, got our meaning, we got our interpretation,' and we're just like, we're done for today.

So just empty of this operation of trying to grab and trying to grasp at life, just meeting it. So much, it's like the vibrancy of this world gets turned up because your attention is fully on what there is in that moment. So you don't need a supernatural experience, you see. This much experience can you handle? You see, drink up this experience in this moment for one moment without avoiding it. Even this is too supernatural. You don't need to see some great form of the Lord or something like that. This is a great form of the Lord. Meet even the manifest world fully without running, without avoiding it or trying to capture it.

Somebody said, we were saying yesterday also, that somebody said, 'Why are the Buddhists constantly in this sort of negation of everything, you know, and even don't forget about God? Is it a sort of nihilism or something?' But it is not. They only say that because the more we load up the concept with our idea of what it should be, you see, we don't meet it for what it is. We keep expecting to meet some idea of what we think it is. So empty. When we say forget about it, it is to be empty of these preconceived notions. Same thing when you have a fresh meeting.

See, now the beautiful thing about this is that if you are empty of these preconceived notions, then every moment is a meeting with God. You might not be attracted to the term God, so you can replace it with truth or Self or reality, whatever you like. The only thing that gets in the way of your meeting with this Ultimate Reality is our idea of what it should be, and especially an idea of what it should not be. The mind can still say, 'But this should not be here, this has to go.' Nothing has to come or go. Your God, will it be something that comes and goes? It just is. Then manifest, unmanifest, Absolute, changing—all these meaningless terms. To be empty is to be gone. I usually don't say anything like that because you'll put the second part first, or at least like a benchmark. And the best news is what? You are empty now. As much as you may resist this idea, you have forgotten what troubles you in this very moment. This moment, you need a reminder for your troubles, not for the truth. You need a reminder of your limitation, not of your truth.

Okay, let's catch up with the questions. In this process, at times I feel utterly alone and a sense of fear of death or dying creeps up. I struggle a bit there through noticing that this also arises in that spacious field of awareness. Bless me, dear Ananta Ji. Pardon me if the description looks out of place.

No, it is very natural for this, you see. Whether you call it the fear of the unknown or you call it the fear of death, it is the same fear that everyone who goes through these grapples with. Sometimes you can use big names like the 40 days and nights; sometimes you can just say it is the most frustrating, most fearful experience of our lives. These things are very much a part of this play. Now, it can happen, seem to happen in varying degrees for all of us, but it is not something that is unnatural. You will feel lonely, you feel like nobody understands you. There'll be times in the inquiry you feel like death is coming.

It is the same fear that everyone who goes through these grapples with. Sometimes you can use big names like the 40 days and nights; sometimes you can just say it is the most frustrating, most fearful experience of our lives. These things are very much a part of this play. Now, it can happen, seem to happen, in varying degrees for all of us, but it is not something that is unnatural. You will feel lonely. You feel like nobody understands you. There'll be times in the inquiry you feel like death is coming. It is so. And it is very good then to be able to join such satsang because to meet someone who has overcome this fear, has transcended all of this, can be very encouraging. You see, otherwise when the mind gets a hold of this sense of the fear of the unknown and the fear of dissolution, death, then it is good if someone's there with you saying, 'It's okay, you'll be okay.'

Many of us have prayed for the Absolute. We have prayed for a complete dissolution of the false. But when it starts to happen, it can feel uncomfortable. It can feel scary, like, 'What is happening? This is not what I bargained for. I was promised Bliss.' In fact, when these things come, they can feel so oppressive and they can feel like, 'But I'm much worse now than I was before I started this journey. Why did I even get into this mess?' It can feel all these things. I'm sure I can relate to these things. But they don't last. These things, this ammunition of the mind, is not unlimited, you see. It is the truth which is unlimited. And it is good that you are in such satsang because you have a reminder in front of you saying, 'Yes, all these things happen. The fear of death can come, but you will transcend it.'

The mind can also give you a lot of unfounded fears. Like one time I was in Rishikesh and this girl came and sat in front of Guruji and said, 'I have the strong feeling that my head is going to explode.' Just like that. So he said, 'Oh, I've never seen a head exploding.' Just what—not that he wanted a head to explode, but just to not be fearful of these ideas the mind gives you. It's like, whatever is coming, okay, bring it on. What is that? Let's see what can you do. You see, it is only one who has transcended that can point in this way truly from the heart, because they have seen the true nature of this reality cannot be hurt by anything. That is why, besides all the pointers and the presence which is available in satsang, it is good also to hear from someone who has been through all of this and can tell you that none of this will last, but your truth will.

Thank you, Father, for over and over pointing to the simplicity. It's such a wonder every time, never getting bored. Thank you.

Just like this, you see. It's just some dust can come on the spectacles, but in reality nothing is ever blurry. Okay, enough for today.

So then what does all of this mean? I have a problem giving up the good stuff. There dissolution starts to happen and then there's a grasping to the memory of being 20 years with my beloved and that if I lose that, then it's like a betrayal or something. And I know that the ever-present love has been identified there, but somehow I think I need to hear something because I can feel it really strongly in this moment, holding on to that and just not wanting to let it go of that beauty, that memory.

Anything else you want to keep?

Only that.

Only that? Okay, done. Keep that. It won't get in the way. Keep it. One time another dear friend, she said to me that, 'Ananta, I'm struggling. I'm really struggling today.' I say, 'What happened?' She said to me that, 'I know that it is my notions, it is my belief and my thoughts which keeps me bound, you see, but there is one thought that I just have to believe.' So I said, 'Okay, what is this thought then?' She said, 'I don't remember what it was.' So I said, 'Okay, if it is just that one thought, you can keep that.' You know? Then she says, 'Oh, can I have two more?'

There is no actual, you see—in India we have this Mahabharat—like there's no actual battle like this. Everything is easy and it's fine. It needs no... it's funny that I'm coming up with a lot of Buddhist references today, but Buddha did extreme, extreme penance. Extreme penance. Then he got to this truth and what did he say? All that was not needed. Just a life of simple, easy does it, moderation. You don't have to create a big opposition to something because the mind is very tricky. It'll say, 'What about the attachment to your children? Only once you are free from that can you be...' because it's heard about attachment. Then it sets you up for failure. So then, okay, it's easy. Even animals have this thing. So keep it, but don't ask for too much because then it becomes like a trick, you know? 'Can I keep this also? Can I keep that also?' But if there's something that you feel like, 'But this I have to have,' is it okay? It's fine.

What if you had nothing stopping? Nothing was in the way. Everything was fine just as it is. No precondition, no prerequisites. Even everything you heard in satsang, just keep it aside. Nothing, nothing new to be found, nothing old to be given up. Nothing. Do you have a shape now? All these sensations that we call the body, are they not dancing inside you? Are they limiting you? There is no benefit to just limiting yourself to these. See that all of this is nothing but sensation within you, perception within you. There's no benefit to breaking yourself up into me and other, not even into past and future. Don't color yourself with any color or shape or size or story. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Satguru Sri Mooji Baba Ki Jai.