It's Time To Wake Up - 8th September 2023

We must yearn for this, long for this discovery with everything at our disposal, without wavering with worldly concerns and projects. All that can go on organically and actually if it is meant to, but in our heart, everything must be about God. Live as if God is a reality, not as if God is a backup fallback option. If the Ram that Meera is speaking of was here now, how would you live? Is it even possible? How many feel it is too far-fetched? We are talking about one of the greatest sages in the world ever, and on the other hand, we are talking about 'little me.' Who am I to find God? Is it even possible?

Maybe you can tell us a bit about her life and what brought her to this point.

By the way, you know, I think a mother introduced her to Krishna when she was around five years and she was curious to know what a marriage is, seeing somebody else's marriage. And then her mother told her, 'Krishna is your bridegroom.' You know, and she almost in jest, the mother told her that Krishna is your husband. But she really took it to heart and she really started seeing Krishna as her playmate, her friend, husband, lover, whichever very intimate way. And then she was a princess who was like forcefully married to another king. She saw the king, but in the heart, she was always with Krishna. She couldn't see anybody else as a husband. And in her husband's family, I think they were devoted to Kali, they were Kali bhaktas, and they had a very different way of looking at God because they were the warriors. So for them, Krishna was very soft, not very suited for their temperament. And then she had to face a lot of problems at her in-laws' house also. And then her husband passed away in a war or something, but her faith was so strong that she was kind of isolated in her husband's house and she was put to test a lot of times. Like she was asked to drink poison, she was sent a snake as a mala to her, but I think Krishna saved her every time and she came out of all these tests also. And then she leaves the palace and goes out and starts singing and dancing in the love of Krishna, which really provoked her husband's family. And then they tried many times to kill her also because the family's reputation was at stake. And then finally she leaves her palace forever and she goes to... the story is that she vanishes in the temple. She goes inside and does not come out, actually kind of merges in Krishna. That's what they say.

Good, thanks. This is unwavering love for God. Whichever way we may consider the expression of God, we must consider our life to be fully dedicated to God. All that is left of me, may it be for God. Not the worldly way of so-called spirituality, which is 'God for me.' What is God doing for me? Is your life in service to God? Is the love in your heart for God, or is it really for a 'me' which you just want some sort of deal so that God can help the 'me'? And God is worthy of your love only if God helps with the 'me'.

So, moments spent without God's presence being palpable, without the love of God, there is a moment wasted in this life. And that is true for everyone. You could be in a corporate job or you could be a priest in a temple or a church. The opportunities for distraction and the world attachment are available equally for everyone, but the possibility of living in God's presence is also equally available for everyone. But most in the world will not live that way because although nobody in the world really believes that they are selfish, we don't realize our own selfishness, how our vision is so blurred when the 'me' comes under attack. When the 'me' comes under attack, then all talk of God and all God's light can wait. So, this is the 'me' that we need to be empty of—the one that we are trying to preserve and aggrandize, make special.

If the 'me' is dancing on the screen constantly, there is a minimal chance that you will see the light of the projector. So enamored by the story of the 'me' that you will not see the light of the projector, the projected light in which this whole universe is appearing. And that which is the aware even of this will seem like a beautiful concept for those who are interested. At best, it will seem like a beautiful concept. We may even think we have mastery over the concept, but it is meaningless if our life is not lived in the presence. There is no point saying big things about awareness and consciousness if you're living without the love of God. And I've said the other day that our love for God is actually also God's love for us. But without that love in our life, what is it? Who is it about?

So on one hand, there is a sage like Meera saying that 'I gave up on myself and I found God and nothing can take him away from me now. The biggest thief in the world cannot steal him, the biggest calamity or death cannot take him away.' Have we found this treasure? Are we living in the light of God? What are you scared of losing? Lose that. Not in the world, but in your head. Live as if you're already dead in your head. What will you hold on to? All this is a dream of yesterday. There's one metaphor: you're dead, you're just dreaming about a past life. What can you hold on to from here? Let it go. Don't miss the greatest treasure for some worldly nonsensical distraction. Until this work is complete, don't get entangled in any other thing.

Some words came here the other day where the word said, 'Have you found God that now you're involved in the worldly human play?' Don't have money to buy a morsel of food and you're going to the marketplace looking to buy elephants. So to focus on resolving this world play is like a beggar going to the shop asking to buy elephants when he doesn't have food to eat. Have you found God first that you're involving yourselves in other things? It's like a patient who is having difficulty breathing asking about the menu for tomorrow. But isn't that what our life is? We haven't found the fundamental basis of our very existence when we are trying to solve the mysteries of the universe and trying to find our soulmates and trying to find financial security. We haven't even found the one who lives, who exists. So the mind is the seller of misplaced, upside-down priorities. So make nothing else important in your life unless first you have found God.

Don't have money for one grain and sitting shopping for elephants. So the question is very sincere, it is very urgent: have we found God? Most of our life we spent in the idea that it is not possible. Since we came into spirituality, we spent it mostly in disbelief. I said it, though we have wanted to, even after coming to spirituality, we spent most of our time in disbelief where God is just a fantastic notion to fall back upon to help the body-mind which is going to die anytime soon. What a waste. At least those who are in the world and haven't come to satsang, any type of truth, they have an excuse saying, 'We didn't know, we didn't realize that it is possible to live another way.' We didn't realize it's possible to live another way. But we have no excuse because for many of us, our goals are very meager.

On one hand we say, 'Oh, I am facing too much mental resistance, so my day is going really bad.' And the other end of it is, 'No mental resistance, I am so peaceful and all my activities are going fine. I'm so productive at work and efficient and everybody is being nice to me.' Is that the end? The two ends of the spiritual spectrum? I use that to become productive and then I will die very productive? I'll die the most productive person in the whole universe? Then what? Or, 'Now that I found spirituality, I just breathe and all my relationships are so good, I'm doing so well.' And then? Are you going to take your relationships and go? This dream will end soon, sooner than we realize. What have you carried from your previous dream here? Which relationships you have that you can make an urgent phone call to the dream person that is your soulmate? Just like our life so far has gone in a blink of an eye, the rest of this life is also going to go in the blink of an eye. So it's time to wake up. I have to wake up and snap out of this Maya.

Recognize the nudges that God is sending you to wake up. How did the mother wake up a child in the morning for school? I like to feel that at least initially it is lovingly. Few actions, all the mothers... is it first only starts like that? Okay, okay, in the make-believe world. Yeah, now my mother starts lovingly, 'Get up, Father.' How did the father wake up a child? 'Get up, please get up, it's time for school.' And then if you don't listen to the father, then Ma Kali comes. Shut up! So the nudge that God is sending you is the Father lovingly trying to wake you up. You don't listen, now you know that Kali is coming. You have to be shaken up to be woken up. If you snap out of it yourself now, there's no need for shake-ups. Not that the search for God now should become another way of pain avoidance, but we are going that way if we don't listen. So all that you've given so much importance to in the world, write it all down lovingly somewhere, collect it all and burn it, because it's all going to burn with this body anyway. And when you really look for value, meaning, you have not found it.

You have to be shaken up to be woken up, and you'll be shaken up to be woken up if you snap out of it yourself now. There's no need for shakeups. Not that the search for God now should become another way of pain avoidance, but we are going that way if we don't listen. So all that you've given so much importance to in the world, write it all down lovingly somewhere, collect it all and burn it, because it's all going to burn with this body anyway. And when you really look for value, meaning, you have not found it. You know, we don't even know what meaning means without recognizing that most of our meaning is just mental narrative. It's just mental narrative. So don't use spirituality as a new way now of finding meaning for the non-existent me. Use spirituality to chop your head off. Live headless, full of heart, full of love, full of compassion, humility. Live like this and let's see if you can report that you haven't found God.

So the deal is that you have to be empty for God, and then God may be recognized. But we want it the other way: show me God, then I'll take the risk of becoming empty. But you have no position to negotiate. It is not a negotiation between equals where God says, 'No, you be empty, I will come,' and you say, 'No, no, first you come, then we'll see.' So to recognize that whatever is left of me, or what I consider myself to be, is in servitude to God, to Ram, that is very important. We have no place, we have no role to tell Him, 'Why haven't you come? What are you doing?' I have this list of grievances and complaints. What grievances can you have against this guy? You can look at the sun and shout at the sun saying, 'Oh, your light is like this, I would have liked a different shade, maybe a bluish color.' Yeah, that's what most of us are doing with our lives, making complaints to God saying, 'I don't like this, I would prefer it like that. Since you are like spreading this, you should not be orange. It would be so much better if you were a nice shade of light blue; you'd go so well with the sky. I know better how you should be.' Of course, we do it with our Guru all the time as well.

One of my first teachers told me that people are so quick to call me Guruji and then next they are telling me what to do. And it's okay for maybe because you have a human form in front of you, but how are you communicating with God? For what? Is He a grievance management system? Is there a suggestion box that He has sent down saying, 'So all your suggestions about how I should be running this universe, please put them here,' you see? So in a way it is sweet, and to have that communication is beautiful, but don't waste it all on just this. Because the truth is that we don't have to make God dance to our terms; we have to learn to dance to His terms.

Life spent in servitude to God is a free life. To the mind, that sounds like a contradiction. How can a life in servitude be the life that is free? We don't want that. I want a God-assisted life and not a God-dictated one. But have we really examined the alternative? Because, my friend, our life is going to be a dictated one either way. Who is the one who is doing the dictating is the only difference. So it's not that you want to live on your own terms. One option is to live under mental slavery and mental oppression, therefore dictation being a dictator, the mind being the dictator, versus God being the controller, the guide of our life. So it's not a question of being free or being subservient; it is about being subservient to the right master. So to be free is to be living in the will of God, in God's dictated lives. And the notion of the God-assisted life is the most absurd because we take the highest intelligence and we want to make it subservient to our mental desire, you see? So wouldn't it be nice that the mind has not just mastery over what we take ourselves to be, but now has God as an assistant for that?

So isn't then, if we continue to only look for a God-assisted life, isn't that part of the ego's master play anyway, to recover from God? So that is not humility if you decide the agenda and God should follow. That is not humility. God decides the agenda for this life and we follow wholeheartedly. And if there is nobody like that left to follow because all has merged with God, then bliss comes. But the one that wants to use that as a defense is the one that needs to follow. Because many times I've heard this: 'Who are you asking to follow? Is it the one that is not liking the instruction? Okay, but there's nobody like that over there.' Yes, there is. That's why you're asking me. Because if you were fully empty, the notion of a God-dictated life could not bother you. The one who doesn't want it needs to bow its head down. That is the special one, the one who believes that he or she has found something, has become somebody, has achieved spiritual progress or even enlightenment.

To surrender everything that you can surrender to God moment to moment. You cannot make the claim that 'my life is surrendered' because this moment, this moment, this moment... because in every moment in this play, you can either live in the ego's shadow or in God's light. In every moment, whether you're a sage or somebody who is a complete atheist, everyone has given the same possibility. The one in whose life we can see the evidence of them picking God's light over and over, those ones we call a sage. The ones who emanate a personal odor, we call the worldly person. If you feel that you have not found God, then the question to ask yourself is: have you made your life about God truly? Most in spirituality are just trying to balance the scales. Their life has not become about God; they are just trying to balance. 'I have a work life, I have a material life, I have a mental life, emotional life, romantic life, and I want a spiritual life.' All should be in equal measure like a nice Indian thali balanced meal. Then that would be perfect for me. And you spend your whole life perfecting the thali every day, and then you die. What's going to happen? What's going to happen? You have special bones and special flesh? It'll take longer to burn or decompose under the ground? What's going to happen?

When the promise is made available from the sages that you can find that which is deathless while you are breathing, wake up in the waking state. Guruji said, 'Wake up in a waking state.' If it is possible to discover eternal life through the presence of Atma within, what else is important? When are we going to undertake this main project?

Yes, so the crux of the question on chat is that is there really a choice? Is there really a choice? So we can go back all the way to Krishna and the Gita, Jesus in the Bible, but let's not even go that far. Let's stay with our family. Bhagavan said as long as it feels like effort to let go of the mind, to let go of the mind, to keep this bag down, as long as it feels like effort, we must make the effort. As long as it feels like you have a choice, we must make the choice to not enter the stream of mind. And then one day we may see that even that is Grace towards Grace. Papaji said, 'Keep quiet.' Was he talking about outwardly don't open your mouth? No, the absence of egoic belief is true silence. And for 12 years I have said, 'Don't believe your next thought.' Now why are we all saying all this? Because either we must be really silly, we haven't really examined the mechanics of it and the human condition and we don't really know how this operates, that all of us keep saying don't, don't, don't because you really don't have the choice to follow or not.

You know, Nanaji said, 'Whatever you do, follow God's will.' But doesn't he realize if I'm going to follow God's will, then I will follow God's will? If it is God's will, I'll follow God's will. Why is he telling us? Are all of them just trying to trouble us? 'Actually, we can't do anything about it. If I have to go with the mind, then I go with the mind. If I have to go with my heart, I'll go with my heart. What choice do I have in the matter? Why are all these people troubling us?' So what's the answer? Either those that we are calling sages themselves are deluded—they don't know what's going on, they haven't figured the mechanics of attention, belief, identity, truth, meaning—or they have, and they found some clues which we can follow if you were to follow wholeheartedly. So somewhere we have to break this question.

Otherwise, everything that we hear... that's why I rant about Neo-Advaita so often, because we can get stuck in the 'but I am not the doer.' In satsang I heard I'm not the doer, I'm really not the doer. You see, who is that 'you' which is not the doer? Who is that 'you' which is not the doer? And then you say, 'Oh no, no, that is the non-existent one.' The non-existent one is the non-doer? No. Then why do you really refer to that one as yourselves? So this is how if spirituality, especially Advaita, becomes conceptual and not applied, then it becomes a defense against true spirituality itself. Can you make the choice this moment to not go with your thought and to be in God's light in your heart? Yes, you can, you Consciousness. If you can do it this moment, you can do it this moment, and you can do it this moment, and you can do it this moment.

The saint said, 'Greet your thoughts as visitors. Let them come and let them go. Don't serve them tea.' But doesn't he realize if the tea is going to be served, I will serve the tea? Why is he telling us this? He probably doesn't understand. Do I have a choice? No choice. The saint must be silly. 'Remain in the Unborn.' Bankei says in the Unborn all things are perfectly resolved. Why is he telling us? We can't stay in the Unborn. So all those sages are basically just trying to trouble us because we can't do any of this stuff anyway. They are just trying to make us jealous. 'See, I am always in the Unborn. Hey, look at you. The whole thing is perfectly resolved here. I am sorted. You can't help it.' Is that how it is? There must be a reason they tell us.

All the Bhakti saints have said, 'Chant the name of the Lord constantly. Be in prayer.' In the Bible it is said, 'Pray unceasingly.' They have no clue what they are saying? Don't they realize we can't do this? We have no choice. If the chanting has to happen, the chanting will happen. If the chanting doesn't have to happen, it won't happen. Why are they all saying all this and troubling us? Why do I trouble you every day? The work is not done. Wake up, wake up. You can't wake up? So what's going on? What's going on? While you're still... Guruji said, 'Wake up in the waking state.' So while this body is still warm, why is he telling me? Somewhere we have to break out of this idea. It's a mistaken idea that 'I am the non-existent one.' But the non-existent one cannot do this. But the sages themselves are saying you must do, therefore I'm this little old me, the non-doer one. Who is the one who is not doing?

It's time to wake up. And it's not that the sages have left us without the 'how.' Some sages have done that in the past. They say, 'Wake up, wake up, wake up,' and they didn't tell us how. But do we spend hours every week talking about the how? How to be empty, how to love, how to lead a life full of God's light. First things have to follow. It's been made very simple. It's not going to be easy, but the way has been made very simple. To follow is difficult. And where does the difficulty come from? The more there is of meaning, the more difficult it is.

How do I know? The next question is: how do I know? I may believe that I am living in God's light. I may believe that I am doing the best for God. But what if I'm just fooling myself? It's a good question. What if I'm just deluding myself like I've done in the past? I always felt like I'm living a great life, a good life, a true life. How do I know? You can't really, really know. Yes, but there's enough evidence. So if you were to really look, there's enough evidence of the perfume of a life like this. Do you find a presence of unconditional love in your heart towards God and your brothers and sisters in this world?

That I am doing the best for God, but what if I'm just fooling myself? It's a good question. What if I'm just deluding myself like I've done in the past? I always felt like I'm living a great life, a good life, a true life. How do I know? You can't really, really know, yes, but there's enough evidence. If you were to really look, there's enough evidence of the perfume of a life like this. Do you find a presence of unconditional love in your heart towards God and your brothers and sisters in this world? If you find that unconditional love most of the times when you look, it's a good sign. Do you feel that there's a holy presence always with you? It's palpable. And God is here.

That's a very good sign. If the truth is apparent to you about your reality as awareness and you don't usually identify with the temptations of the mind, it's a very good sign. But more important than using all of these signs and making a judgment about ourselves is to live like this moment to moment. In the moment, God is available to us every moment, but also avidya is available to us. Ignorance is available to us. And the only job of ignorance is to cloud the vision of God—not cloud God's vision, our vision of God, of God's presence. That's the only job.

Bhagwan said that the Self will not be a new attainment, which is the mere dropping of avidya is the recognition of the Self. So this is the battle, and the battle is for time. On the two ends of the battle, there is ignorance, avidya, saying, 'I am special, I am somebody, I want to try to, I will do, why this, why that.' And on the other end is God's holy life. Pick the right side moment after moment after moment. The more you pick it, the more natural it will seem. If you haven't picked it, it'll seem difficult initially. See, all your brothers and sisters on that side will try to hold you back—not in the world, here in the mind. The attachments will seem true, you see. Doubts will come. Is it really possible like this? You'll doubt the Guru, you will doubt the teaching, you will doubt the path, you will doubt everything.

But once you make the leap to the other side, then the old friends may call you from time to time, but if you learn how to let them go, you can make it your new home. You make this your new home, God's presence your new home. That is called freedom. That is called salvation. That is called Nirvana. Not that it becomes irreversible; we must never count on that. We must never become arrogant. But there will come a point where you are not that easily shaken. And the sages are showing us through their life that they are not easily shaken, which is why it is really important to have a living Master to show us. Because otherwise, when the doubt comes, the whole thing can seem to hit. But you have somebody sitting there in front of you who you may have seen for years, and you can tell that they are not shaken by the temptation of Maya.

While continuing, if that is the way Grace is playing, while continuing to have a life in the world as well. Once we have a Master that we can follow, it's really straightforward. Again, it won't become easy, but the confusion about 'What should I do? Who should I follow? What should I read? Is this right? Is that right?'—all that is easier because you have a way in front of you. The Master is not a person; the Master is a way. So really, if you say Ananta is your Master, actually it is Ananta's way, or the expression that is playing out in this life through God's grace, that is the Master.

Now, can that way become templatized and we say, 'Okay, now on this particular bridge, does the Master go left or does he go right?' We cannot base the way out of outer considerations. You just have to get a handle on the pulse. You get a handle on the pulse, and then you are following the way. So then, in that way, the Master becomes the boatman on the boat of truth to take us through this ocean of suffering. But these days, it's very difficult to get into any boat. You can go to Google and search for boats, and there are hundreds and hundreds of boats. And if you like, I can build my own boat and I will take the best out of all these boats that I'm seeing. I can build my own boat, and then I can become the boatman to all those that want to cross.

And then the one who comes across your boat then says the same thing: 'I can build my own boat because I like a little bit of this, a little bit of that.' But most of the time, it just becomes a little bit of this and a little bit of that. It doesn't become an authentic way that we can follow because we still preserved the past self, you see. We preserved ourselves in that process. We did not really jump into the fire. We've conserved ourselves somewhere. 'I'll keep it a little bit like that, a little bit like this.' In a way, it's the opposite of what I'm saying. I'm saying deal with the world, you stay in your truth and deal with the world that way. What we are doing is we are sitting in the world dealing with the Guru that way, at a safe distance.

So we are watching a movie today where this boy comes into this church for the first time, and he's really feeling something, something authentic after a long time in his life. And what does he want to do? Run. Because 'I don't want to be hurt again. If I really hand over myself and then I find that there's something wrong or I wasn't seeing things correctly, I'll get hurt again.' You see? So in that self-preservation, seemingly self-preservation, they hold back and keep the light of truth at a safe distance. Also known in the Indian family is the most famous response to spirituality, which is 'balance maker.' Not to overdo it.

Then after this body is gone, we'll be asking God for a place at His feet. Maybe we'll balance that out also in the same proportion. What percentage at His feet? The same percentage that you give your life to Him. Deal? Why should God give us more importance than we gave Him? Do you want a constant place at His feet? You're not saying 'balance maker' then. There's nothing the mind likes more in the human condition than optionality. You know, as long as we have the option: 'I can be at God's feet, I can visit hell a few times, I can do this, just keep the options open with me, then I will pick.' This is what we want because we don't realize that we are preserving the wrong one.

Balanced, not eccentric. They will just say, 'Well, in the world's paradigm, yes, very eccentric.' No, but in reality, that is the highest way to live: to be in love with God and God over all things. When will God let us down? Really turn to Him with full faith. He's always there, always. Not when I have stupid mental projections about what God should do, but when I meet God in innocence, He has always only given me reasons to deepen my faith, deepen my love. When has our love for God not been reciprocated in our heart? If you wanted to love God, but God said, 'No, actually I'm balancing things out between you and the other universes that I'm handling, I'm busy right now.' It's always there. It's always there.

If we are on the road to becoming illuminated, we are blessed beyond comprehension. Blessed beyond what we can comprehend. Use every breath, every heartbeat, every waking moment to deepen in your love for God, to deepen in your service, deepen in your faith. And remember that this world is just like the surface of an ocean. It's like the surface. You see the waves could be shimmering, they could seem attractive, or sometimes it seems like there is turbulence, there is tsunami. But remember that all this is just on your surface. This is not the bulk of your reality. The bulk of your reality is under this. Not like in space like that, but you know what I mean. Beyond this screen is real life. That's what the Vedanta were trying to tell us by calling this Maya, by saying that everything that we perceive comes and goes and therefore is not real, and to get us unattached from the surface so we can dive deeper within.

What's beyond this? The realm of perceptions—is that all there is to you? Perception and more perception and more perception, and then different perception, meaning layers of perception. But beyond perception, that is where you find God. That is where you find yourselves.

Yes, sorry, I just noticed I could speak. I felt I have a feeling, just I will try to stay. You're speaking of the depth of the reality and the surface, and I notice many times in me, and I see also in the relation with others, there can still remain the fear of a fear, or a concern of isolating myself in my discovery of God, and so kind of opposing the self-discovery to the world reception. As you're talking about the depths of the ocean, and before you were talking about the unconditional love which is not limiting things to what they seem to be, I feel to say here there is the advice: remain open and empty, or don't believe your next thought. They are very, very powerful openings.

And another sage said, 'Love the other more than yourself.' And all these, for me, I needed to say this at some point and to share to hear you about this also. Because I know I see in Advaita there is a tendency to say, 'Okay, I must first become or I must first find God, and the world will stay, will wait, because otherwise I would be deluded.' And it is quite true, the tendency may really happen. Nevertheless, you know, as I was sharing about the Sangha, the other and the servant, you're talking about the service. Just as God is always giving everything, we can discover Him in His reflection if we are truly open. I'm just doing my best, I'm just trying, but I feel this is a vast topic in my life because I see in Advaita still a kind of opposition of self-discovery and world serving. And for me, it is a really real concern because I think I know—and I don't think, I feel—we have something to dare and to be ourselves, not in the believing way but in the serving way or in the loving way.

And I really feel, you know, the other day I was talking about the Sangha just because of the same thing. I have the feeling that we are still enclosed in our becoming and we don't share really. I mean, you help us to do it, and all this is done by you and all the lineage to open us to the real transcending of the fear. But there remains this—I think it is a thought—that the true 'I' has to be reached and that it is not yet here. And as long as I have not reached it, I think I cannot do anything, I cannot interact, I cannot serve even. And this is for me really, really—I'm happy I can talk, express it today, but it took time to come to be ready to be expressed. But you know, it is really for me a very big concern.

Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, thank you, my dear. Yes. So what to do and what not to do? Let's approach it in this way, that's how it's coming here. So if the love for God is real, then what should our stance or relationship or position be with the brothers and sisters in the world? Should we just isolate ourselves and deepen, or should we try and deepen by spreading the love, spreading the light? Now, if you were to say, 'So what should I do from here on?' the question is impossible to answer. What should I do from here on, or what should everyone in the Sangha do, or anyone into spirituality? What should we do? Should we stay quiet, deepening in an isolated sort of way? And how long should that deepening be before the spreading can happen? Is the spreading also a deepening, or is it a distraction? There are many questions related to this topic.

And the sages have helped us actually with this very clearly. And in some ways, it is the openness of their answer which makes it sound inconclusive, but actually it's very conclusive. What am I meant to do? What should my position be? Quietly sharing in a cave or on a TV channel?

The sages have helped us actually with this very clearly, and in some ways, it is the openness of their answer which makes it sound inconclusive, but actually it's very conclusive. What am I meant to do? What should my position be? Quiet sharing in a cave or on a TV channel? What is the right approach? The answer is: from the heart, moment to moment. From the heart, follow God's will moment to moment. In the moment, you may be guided to lose yourself from the world. Another moment, you may be guided to talk to your neighbors, talk to your brothers and sisters. Another moment, you may be guided to post something on social platforms. Another moment, you may be guided to share in this video on Zoom or YouTube or whatever. As long as you're approaching it with integrity and not selfishness, approaching it with an attitude of service and not specialness, it is very unlikely that you will go wrong. God will guide you every step.

So we don't need to make a broad conclusion and say what is the right approach, because sometimes it is important to isolate yourself and sometimes it is important to bring this to everyone. But those times only God can tell you. We cannot make a recipe out of it. Everybody's condition, the listener, the questioner, who's meant to come and listen—all of the variables are at play, so we cannot determine it. So many times, if this body is not well or something, I don't know by the morning of satsang also whether I'm going to be sharing or not sharing. I know it can be frustrating for some of you, but I really don't know.

Can I say that I can prioritize the health of this body? Suppose somebody is only coming once and they have a chance to live a life in God's light. Am I saying that I can compute all those variables and determine whether something should happen today? I could never do it conceptually in the mind. I could never do it. So I just have to wait for God to guide. And God doesn't work on a worldly clock. In order to work on a worldly clock, he's never late, but he is under no obligation either to make sense to us or to operate on our timeline. So like innocent children, we wait for his guidance. We wait for his nudges. And as we mature in living in God's light—and I am not mature at all, I'm just a beginner on this path—but even as a beginner, as we deepen in this, then we start to recognize the nudges more and more clearly, you see.

And recognizing the nudges doesn't mean that we look at everything like a sign: 'Oh, that's a sign. I'm recognizing them. Oh, that's a sign. Perfect.' You know inwardly in your heart. I don't want you to become like paranoid, so people just like signs like that. You can be rested in your heart, relaxed in your heart. From there, the guidance will be apparent. How to follow God's will? First, it is important for us to be empty. As we empty, then it will appear as if the presence is unfolding this life, which it always has been. Some people mistake it as if identification is dropped, but to live like that, there is something to that. May we live empty, full-heartedly. That is the first way to follow God's will. But if you need guidance, even that will be available to us. We just have to learn patience. We have to learn non-rushing.

The Atma within, the Holy Spirit, is the source of all guidance. And as we become empty of mental contamination, we become clearer and clearer. So what should our approach be? Like little children waiting for the Father's nod or a nod from within, willing to face the entire world at a moment's notice or live in a cave for the rest of our life, as long as that is the guidance received in the heart moment to moment. The life of being a beggar, a fakir, or the life of a king—both are irrelevant and both are beautiful if lived in God, and both are pointless in the ego shadow. Clear?

So I'm feeling this for like the being in satsang, but to go to the outer world or whatever, the body is not cooperating. It's feeling intense pain. Even if I visit for a day or two, obviously, you know the mind's resistance is too much. I'm not typically doing just anyone or anything. It feels like I have fallen off from the path. I used to get this fear like I may fall off the path and I may not be back on track, but I don't feel the fear now, and that is even scarier in some way. So I don't know. Like, the school is some kind of a distraction to keep the story on, because the story is filled with a lot of things that I want to forget. It's like keeping those things alive every day, every minute. I don't want that. So I feel like, please don't. It is like a distraction from staying with what is. I'm not able to figure it out.

So let's define the two options which we are not able to decide between very clearly. What are the two options?

Option one is wherever I am, to stay or like to discover God in wherever I am. Like, it's about physically moving from place to place or like finding a Guru or a presence, an outer external presence, to guide me like that together, for like to be here.

Okay, so what you're saying is that to live in God's light, to live in his presence, is mandatory. That much you have understood in your life. Now the option is: should I just be happy wherever I am moment to moment? What is here? Why do you have to struggle and, you know, go to this master, that master, all of that stuff? Or to find a master, given that it seems so difficult, that there are confusions and the master pushes buttons and the Sangha pushes buttons and all of those things happen? It seems much more complicated to find God through the lens of being with the master than I can actually find God right here, right now. So what gets in your way right here, right now, wherever you are, from living in God's light, in his presence?

So if it is like mere thoughts, I could handle it with some, you know, it's like in a better way. But it feels like sometimes it is like clouded with emotions. That is another category. And sometimes it just takes me to another state and like, that's what I call it as a pull, you know, like to go there. It takes me to a different state with all this, you know, inside the memories of insights—not exactly insights, the memories of insights and memories of states. They pop up with the expansion, you know, like it's an expansion. From the heart, it is like pulling, but I don't think like I'm ready for it. It's not like I'm thinking like I'm not ready for it. I can say that now I don't want to go through intense physical pain or emotional pain right now, or energetic pain, or however we want to name it.

Yeah. So are there conditions to this meeting with God? In the sense that if it had to be the most difficult way of being, where every layer of your being is in some sort of pain but you're living in God's light, versus there's no pain in any layer of your existence but there is no God either, what would you pick?

You could definitely pick the God one if no one is in this game. I'm not talking about the family, but you know, like, yeah, this is something like I cannot resist, which is like people coming and judging me and like pouring out their judgments on me is something I'm not comfortable with.

So let's look at that as one of the layers, which is the layer of the worldly perception and things like that. So you're saying that you don't mind anything happening in any other layer except that others judging you when you are coming to God's light—that you cannot do. Even if then you have to give up on God's light so that people don't judge you, that is okay?

The physical space doesn't belong to me. It's also like, you know, thing like going to temples, like you know, like oh, this energetic stuff comes out into this expression like going to temples or anyone's place. I'm not comfortable with their judgments, maybe correct or wrong, that is not a thing. You know, like it is not about balancing the phenomenal world or balancing—or I don't know how to put this in the right way, but there is something that is not fitting in.

Is being in God's light, is living in his presence, still an option? Like there's option one, option two—is that an option?

Like if anything be sure, I'll be like coming on trying to discover the Self. There is no other option but this. This will—I don't know whether I'm making this for it doesn't look like that as well. But the phenomena, like it is posing challenges. Like the body is just not moving. It's just not moving.

What is primary: 'I' or God?

The answer is God always, but there cannot be a 'but'.

When the body is not moving and this pull is constantly there working while the body is immobile and the pull is there, are you away from God's light or in God's light? And it's not one of those answers where you can say that I'm always in God's light. So it's a question whether I'm in ego shadow or am I in God's light.

It is like the two things fighting. Ego in the mind, I am resisting, because beyond the mind...

While all the resistance is in the mind and although let's say longing is in the heart, or maybe the resistance and the longing is both in the mind—whatever the situation may be, beyond all of this, is God's presence palpable or no?

I'm not able to find that, but I could see the expansion and love and the most resistance as well.

Yeah. So my advice to you would be that just make that not just central, but the only priority: to find God's holy presence within yourself. And of course, expansion, love—all these are beautiful indicators, but try to meet it directly, not just through indicators now. And don't worry about what should happen in the outer realm of movement, whether with Guru, without Guru, which Guru, what other people, all of that. My submission would be that leave all of that and make your life about living in God's presence moment to moment and allow the outer to take care of itself.

That moment, like I was saying in the previous question, we cannot determine that from here on you should just do like this or from here on we should just do like that. Is God's presence a worthy guide to guide us moment to moment? And if he is a worthy guide to guide us moment to moment, then we can allow him to unfold this life moment to moment. And if he is not a worthy enough guide to guide us, then he is not worth spending any time on. So if we're going to dedicate the rest of our life to him, then it must be under the assurance that he can also guide us in this way, like we are innocent children and our parent nudges us from within and our life becomes a surrendered life. So all the other questions about the outer realm can be left to him. You have only one choice, which is to go with the individuality and the temptations of the mind or to stay in the Holy Light within yourself. Okay. Oh, thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Thank you.