In What Way Do You Confirm Awareness? - 3rd February 2020
Saar (Essence)
Ananta guides seekers to recognize that the Self cannot be found through the intellect or attention. He points toward an intuitive, non-phenomenal awareness that is self-evident and independent of perception, thought, or the sense of being.
The self is not lost and found through our attention.
That which is aware of even this being is independent of this being.
The recognition of the self will always only be intuitive; it will never be anything else.
intimate
Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.
Now sometimes it can feel like when there is a sense of spaciousness, when attention is not so caught up, it can seem clearer what is being pointed to. It can seem clear. It is true that the withdrawal of attention from the usual mundane worldly perception can seem initially helpful to the recognition, but in actuality, it has really nothing to do with the Self. The Self is not lost and found in that way through our attention. If that much is also clear, it's really helpful. So, having said that, it's important to then ask: So what does self-recognition mean then? If it is not a function of our attention, then how can I ever know myself, isn't it? If it is not through attention that I will recognize the Self, then through what? You see, and this is where the second classical spiritual mistake occurs. The first is trying to understand the Self with our intellect, with our mind. The second is trying to have an experience of the Self with our attention. But it cannot be done that way. You cannot perceive the Self in this way. Everything that is perceived, it comes and goes, so it cannot be the Self. Then if it cannot be perceived with attention, how can I come to the recognition of the Self? What are we in Satsang for after all? To recognize the Self. So these two means are not valid means. You can't think about the Self and get to a perfect thought about the Self, and you cannot even perceive the Self through attention. Then how to come to self-recognition? Any ideas what to do? What is left?
Not doing?
Ah, no. Just leave it, get back to work like that? No. Like you answer, what is a mind?
Um, how do you not abide? Yes, by not not abiding. By not not abiding, I mean peace. Well, by not taking yourself to be that which you're not and then not believing that you are an individual or that some separation, division actually happened. There is just one voice of division which is the voice of thoughts. Not taking them to be valid. Every representative of what is, it can never represent. Even phenomenally it can't represent. That's why you're saying no one will say what a great Satsang today. One will say today, so what actually is? Who can say?
So just coming back to the point. So if self-recognition is not possible as a function of thinking and also not possible as a function of attention, does it mean that it's a hopeless endeavor then? Because these are the tools we have. How to come to the recognition of the Self? What is left?
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Grace.
Grace does what? Okay, Grace is the beautiful blessing, is a beautiful instrument, you see. So you have the blessing of Grace, and to do what? For what to happen? What is called self-recognition? We say self-knowledge, self-realization. What is that realization? What is the difference between one who has realized the Self and one who has not realized the Self? Now if the Self cannot be thought about and it cannot be perceived, what makes the difference between the two? Primarily, we've already said the ones that are free are not taking themselves to be just this limited object. But there's another aspect to this recognition, you see, which is always there actually, strangely, but it's just neglected because it's not objective, you see. Now see if you can stay with me on this one. I ask you: Are you aware now? And most of you heard this before, so don't go with the learned previous answer. Look fresh. Are you aware right now? Are you aware?
Yes.
Okay, so how do you confirm that? How did you confirm? Just crazy agreed? Did you see it? Did you hear it or taste it? How do you confirm awareness, huh? Confusing? Clear? So if I say to you, please feed this monkey sitting here, please feed this monkey sitting here a banana, you will say what? 'Father, you lost it.' Why? Because you cannot perceive it. You say it is not there, there is no monkey like that, I can't perceive any monkey, you see. But this awareness also you can't perceive. Did you perceive awareness when you say—when I say—are you aware now? You confirm yes, but you did not perceive it. If you did perceive it, then that is not awareness. Ask who is aware even of that.
I think a common sense, the sense 'I am', there's a subtle vibration to it and a lot of times that's the reference point for this awareness.
But there is something before the sense 'I am' which recognizes that. Yes, so who is aware of this sense 'I am'? You saw it coming also. You say that you say 'I woke up at 6:00 AM' or something like that. What woke up is this sense 'I am'. If you were not there, then how would you see the difference between sleep and waking? How could you confirm that I woke up? So that which is aware of even this being is independent of this being. So there's a difference in the two questions. If I say to you: Can you stop being? Don't be for a moment. Impossible. But you have a sense of being, you see. That is beingness. Now there's a difference between 'Can you stop being?' and 'Are you aware now?' Is it now your question and answer? There is this thought, oh, in the gap between question and answer there's already a thought, then my activity tries to go to find the answer for this.
Okay, let's do live. Don't tell me the history. Are you aware now?
Guess what? Before that, are you aware now? If I say you're not aware now, is it true? You see, it's more like a primal response. Because if you start giving it to the mind and getting the mental version of it, obviously it will say, but this is just the mind itself will say this is just the mind talking, you see. No, just like 'I am', yes, so that you are aware of the thought, you see. This 'aware', what does it mean? This is also a second one. What does it mean to be aware? To know. What does it mean to know? It's not to perceive, is it? To perceive is to know in this case, so that there is even perception is also known, isn't it? See if you can meet me here. That there is perception, you see. Sight is functioning, hearing is happening, all this we call perception. Now that there is perception is also known, isn't it?
You are aware of your perception, isn't it? You're aware of sight. You have to hear me because if you hear two voices then you'll just confuse yourself. You are aware of your sight.
I don't understand that.
So you are not aware that you are seeing? Is this true? So what is the difference between aware and perception? Awareness and perception? Perception is physical, out of more phenomenon. Good. Mind and awareness. Now you are aware, or is it the one sitting next to you or in front of you?
I am awake.
Who is aware that you are awake? Are you taking a second-hand report and reporting from there? It seems because I'm slowly, so slowly... So who is aware that you are awake? Or are you just reporting from second-hand information that you are awake? Are you awake?
Yes.
Who is aware of that? And if it is not you that is aware, how come you are reporting that 'I am awake'? If you fight with these words intellectually, they will only seem weird and strange. You will never be able to gather them. Are you perceiving this hand? Are you aware that this perception is happening? That's why you said yes. Why is it complicated? No. So if there is no sight, there is no hearing, there is no touch, there is no taste, tell me at which point you went? Sight went, your hearing went, you see. All this is going as it is going. Are you aware of it or not? So at which point does this awareness stop? Because if awareness stopped, then who would be there to say that it stopped? So that is an impossibility. Even to say that 'I went to sleep, in sleep there was nothing, even I was not there.' We see in sleep even 'I' was not there, but who saw this? So this awareness to the mind is forever confusing and never found mentally because the mind can only fathom phenomenal ideas. But this: Are you aware now? In what way do you confirm your awareness? In what way do you confirm your awareness? Is it phenomenal? What is the color of it? Size? And yet you say 'Yes, I am aware.' That is it. That is self-realization, self-recognition, realization. It's that simple. The only trouble is that if we then insert the 'me' there, saying 'How does that help me?' It is not meant to. 'Am I free?' Who are we talking about? 'Have I got it?' You just saw that you are this awareness. It is confirmed just in itself, you see. Just by itself it is so simple and apparent, just self-confirming. And because in a way to say 'just like that it is confirmed' does not seem satisfactory, we call it intuitive insight. This is intuitive because if you say 'How did you confirm awareness?' and you say 'Just like that,' that doesn't sound very spiritual. So that is your intuition. So the recognition of the Self will always only be like this, which is intuitive. It will never be anything else. And there is none of you who does not have this intuitive recognition. It is universal intuitively. So what really changes is that we value our intuition more than our mind. That's the switch, if there is a switch. So just like this, how do you know that you are aware? That which you know without having to think or perceive is intuition. Well, okay, so many times you can also know things like this, like about the future or something about something which is very far away, these kind of things without having to perceive or think. You just feel like you have a sense of that, you see. But that is not—in fact, I would say that don't bother with any of that intuition anyway, you see. The intuition which is the same intuition that knowing, you see, without having to think or perceive, we use it to just confirm our reality. Not so much about... because sometimes this intuitive sense comes, 'Oh, this is going to happen' and all that. All that is fine, but that's not so important. It is the same knowingness, you see, which is just for which this truth is so apparent. But we don't have to work hard at it. That's why I say instantly as I ask you 'Are you aware?' you make this strange response which is 'Yes,' because you don't perceive anything. You don't have to perceive anything. I was not clear about this because this is the main, the main highlight.