If You Let Go of "You"... Then All You See Is God - 23rd October 2020

That's why I said that we have confusion, then we may hear some master or somebody or we may read a book, and then we may pick up a conclusion which may momentarily seem to clear the confusion. But actually, it is not like that because the roof of the intellect is always leaky. You may seem to plug it with some answers momentarily, but those answers will only create a bigger hole. So, what has happened to those who have been in satsang for a while? They've realized that their existence is much broader than just the mental space, whereas earlier they were just under the delusion that all they are is the mind.

So, the mind said, "I want this" or "I don't want this," "I want freedom" or "I want happiness." Then they felt like that's all there is to them. They felt like that is all there is to them. But now they realize that it's just a tiny aspect of their being which can keep, like Papaji said, can keep twittering from time to time, but it means nothing to my reality. So, if you're trying to plug the leaky bucket with a lot of spiritual water, that is not going to work. If you think now you have a lot of spiritual knowledge, it is only going to trouble you. Empty your bucket. How will it leak? And with an empty bucket, you see that you're already in the Father's house.

The whole bhajan at the beginning was about, "How do I get to my Father's house, my parents' house?" But what if you never left, but only imagined that you did? Even in the worldly way, if somebody said to me, "Ananta, I want to come to your house," I would first have to ask them, "But which way are you coming from? From which direction are you coming? From Singapore? Are you coming from Turkey? Are you coming from America? Are you coming from England?" So, there is no real way or path, no answer the way that we are expecting the answer to be. Just being, letting go.

So, freedom is not for the experts; it is for the beginner. If you're very advanced, you're very firm. If you're empty, you're right here. Can you suffer from something that you don't know? Only what we think we know, only that false knowledge makes us suffer. And that false knowledge is just the dust in the mirror, and the Master has a very simple job of cleaning it up. But what is our desire? Maybe to collect the dust thinking that it's gold. It is not gold dust. Everything that we think we know is what I am calling pride, and our pride is the only thing that gets in the way.

The great Indian sage—in fact, maybe a contemporary of the saint Kabir Ji—was another sage called Rahim Ji. He said the lane is very narrow. The lane is very narrow. If there is "me," then there cannot be God. And if there is God, there cannot be "me." So, if you want something from God, God must mean something to you or bring something to you, then the darshan of God can seem elusive. If you let go of "you," forget about you, then all you see is God.

And many times we have the tactic that we're going to quietly bring this "me," you see, hidden in our pocket. And just when we are having the darshan of the truth, this one brings its head out from the pocket and says, "Ah, what did I get because of this? Is this really it? I made it! I got it!" But it doesn't work that way. If there is you, there is no God, because the lane is too narrow for both. Only one can walk on it. How to be rid of this "me"? That's the only question that remains. If it is as simple as that—that all that is needed for God to be is that the "I" or the "me" must go—how to be rid of this "me"? Huh? It's not there at all. That's why this works.

You cannot catch it here, you see. You cannot understand it. Cannot even feel it, actually, because many times we have this idea that, "Okay, I can't understand it, but I have to feel it. I have to have a feeling about it." But feeling is also perception. What is it about you that you don't perceive and yet you know to be true? That's a good question to ask, actually. What is it about you that you don't perceive and yet you know to be true? And you know it's not a belief, you see, which can come and go. You know from the depth of your heart. You know. Everyone has this, and it's very simple.

One says: The sense of existence. Good, close. Sense of existence. I am. One says: Who is aware of this? Amness. Who is sensing the sense of existence?

He said the sense of existence is there, but who's sensing it? Is anyone confused about that? Has to be you, no? Isn't it the most direct? What tells you that you are aware of this voice? Do you have to refer to your mind to become aware? And is this awareness not aware of itself being aware? So, when you are aware that you are aware, then what is it that you want? If the truth is that simple, but our desires are very complicated. What we want from the truth is very complex. In fact, nobody can give us that. The truth is, but what you want from it, I cannot give.

And anything that you may feel like is worthy... "Ask! Come on, I have worked so hard to come to this truth. I've been to so many masters, you see. I've read the highest scriptures. I deserve something in return." Yes, you deserve to go. So, forget about everything you think you know and know yourself without a way to know yourself, without a path, without a practice. You can continue your practice later; for the moment, I'm saying nothing against practice. Right now, without needing anything at all, what is most obvious to you? You are most obvious to you. Everything else is secondary to the "you." This "you" is your Father's house. Is the Beloved clear?

But, but, but... okay, the "but" is nothing but the voice of your desire claiming to be your friend, actually the trickster. Do you realize that when you have the "but," you see, it may come across as very humble, but actually it is the voice of your pride? Just the voice of what you think you know putting on the mask of humility. Let it go. Nothing that you can say after "but" is true. In fact, nothing that you can say after "I am" is true. Even whether "I am" is true is questionable. Who's with me? How many have I lost? The ones raising the hands are the ones I've lost. What will you do now?

And there are questions, you know. What will you do with the answers? Just add to your knowledge? Know more about the truth which cannot be known here? So, the play of question and answer, if it is useful in any way, is only if you see you are allowing the answer to wipe away everything that you think you know. And for that, you don't need for your specific question to be asked, because as meaningful as you may think your question is, it means nothing in reality. And if I am deluded to believe that my answer means something, then I would be stupid too.

So, the only job of these words or pointers, if there is such a thing as a job, is to allow you to let go of this suffering space of the mind. Therefore, you could use the words of satsang and add that to the suffering space of the mind, and in that way, answers are not helpful. Or these words could make you empty. So, these words are like the cleaning mop. All spiritual words—this is the cleaning equipment. What do we do? We build monuments to them. That's why Guruji says, "Don't make tattoos of my words." Only allow to keep the concept that you know before you hear the sound of the click. Only that that you can keep. Clicker was not firing. That is all you need to know now. Okay, let's start fresh now.

A true seeker only needs to take that as the truth. What do you know before the click? That's all you need to know. What went away? What still remains? This is the click of death. If you dive in without knowing how, without knowing what you want to hear... the best joke in the world. Tell yourself something you think you know. Is it too difficult or clear? Yes, but you have to do it. The moment you hear the instruction, you have to follow. Yes. So, all you have to do is jump forward and backward at the same time. Then you're free. Still thinking about it? We'll try again. This may be the last. Want another one? Where are the opposites? Yeah, the truth and the false, the up and the down, the crying and the laughing. Where is all of that?

Okay, one sounds urgent, so we read that. It starts with a capital "BUT." And I'm sure this one is the voice for many. "But I cannot even hear you, Father. I am exhausted from looking after my Alzheimer's mom and disabled brother. I cannot connect with myself. Being one of the Papaji old school, I am supposed to be able to disidentify. The truth is I'm back at the beginning. Don't even know if I can stay in satsang for long. Will be called away when the doctor phones soon. Please bless me with clarity."

So, don't go back. Only this much: don't go back. Because whether you realize it or not, it is still the voice of specialness which says, "But I am... I've been at this from Papaji's time." And how long will you have this story? Go further back. Why stop at that? You were already at least in your teens when you met Papaji. Now go further back. Go back right to the beginning. Then you don't know what you want. Even the prayer, which is good initially, but now because you've been at this for so long, I want to tell you that even to know that you want clarity is to know too much. Surrender all of this. You say, "Bless me with clarity." Maybe what you need is huge confusion. How do you know you want clarity?

Time and how long will you have this story go further back? Why stop it that you already at least in your teens when you met Papaji? Now go further back. Go back right to the beginning. Then don't know what you want. Even the prayer, which is good initially, but now because you've been at this for so long, I want to tell you that even to know that you want clarity is to know too much. Surrender all of this. You say, 'Bless me with clarity.' Maybe what you need is huge confusion. How do you know you want clarity? That's why you are confused. Let go, let go, let go. Empty, empty, empty. Don't know how life should be. Then you cannot complain about it.

The one says, 'Father, you have come and arisen in this house and there is no place for anything or anyone else, yet some are here and I actually have to fire them all. I'm like Jesus from the temple. I need your help and empowerment to do this accurately.' I love you. Forget about it. Forget about it. Nobody can do all this. Nobody can see clearly or accurately or become empowered. Just forget all this. So I want all of you to surrender one thing here today, you see. And you can bow down to whoever you feel most devoted to in your heart. It doesn't have to be this expression of that is meaningless anyway. But whatever you feel devoted to in your heart, surrender that which you think you want. Just let it go. It's all a big story. You'll see. 'But that's what brought me to satsang.' Forget it. 'But my family...' Forget it. 'I want the truth, the highest.' Forget it. 'I only want to be at your feet.' Forget it. Return to the innocence of a child. And it's saving you a lot of trouble actually. Otherwise, you keep playing this game of confusion, confusion, conclusion, conclusion.

Okay, let's take some questions. Michael has had his hand up for quite some time. Can you hear me? Ah, yes, yes. Still can't see you, but you'll show up on the screen in a moment if you keep talking.

Okay. Well, I'm not exactly sure what what I want to say. Just felt like to come in front of you and just be in this open, this openness. I always confuse the two of you. Are you the one who I met in London or are you your twin? Yeah, we we've met at... no, I'm... I'm the one. I'm the one that met you in London. Yeah, in Bangalore. This feeling just... no words can really can really describe the feeling, but just... no, just to expose myself. Like when when these these um the desire to to speak with you arose... sorry, the sun, the sun just peeked through the window. The desire to speak with you arose, then these... it's coupled with this this uh this feeling of needing to expose something. But it's clear now when I'm speaking, it's just it's just a thought.

You know what, just give me a moment. I'm going to mute everyone again and then I'll unmute you because it's... when I'm gonna close the window. Okay, this is good now. And if there's an echo let me know because you're on us like an external speaker. No, it's fine. It's perfectly fine. So there was an urge to come up and now as you're speaking, you're finding that the whatever words are coming up are not so meaningful or the story doesn't seem to have any power. Is it like this?

Yeah. What... and there wasn't really like... there's never really any like concrete story. Like it seems it seems to play for me now like the thoughts are nothing. Like there there's no there's no um substance to any thought unless I like give it some substance. But what feels what feels to... what comes is like this, and it's for like for two years now, like this energy just like... it feels like someone's at the door, you know? Like someone's constantly at the door like wait, just waiting like for any like any little slip and it wants to slide in, you know, and kind of play like it's like the one that's living here. Yeah. But it's constant. So it's like some part of me wants to get rid of that that energy, but but something even like feels more true just to like not want to get rid of the energy.

Yeah. In fact, if it comes in, you see, if it comes in, it cannot really do any damage unless you say that what it is saying is the truth. So it's not the appearance of the thoughts, you see. So if you're talking about the knocking being the attention and it's it's asking for attention, then if attention goes to a thought, it's it's okay. It's fine, you see. But if you mean by knocking it wants you to buy the story, it wants you to believe what it is selling, then you can keep... you can let it knock. It's okay.

It's strange because it doesn't feel like the... like it's like a fight. It feels like just like attention, you know? Like uh I even went to like an acupuncturist. I was staying near Sahaja for some time and saw like one of the... some remember Zach has acupuncturist and she said there's just so much built up tension and like sometimes it arises as anger. But I don't find so many like... like it feels like maybe the thoughts are hidden or something or like there's some subconscious thoughts which I are not very clear like what I'm holding on to. And so I just thought to come, you know, and just whatever is being held on to, if anything, is just to, you know, let it go.

Well, one principle that seems to work in this world is that nothing that you resist ever gets healed. So if there's a if there's a sort of blocking saying, 'No, no, you can't come,' then I don't feel like that is... of course, Guruji's grace, everything is possible, but that might not be the best course of action. So this tension, if that would also be allowed to come and go, what would happen? You would just be tense for a few moments or it dissolves?

It dissolves kind of immediately the moment in life and I notice it's like some... I don't know why I wouldn't be holding on to any tension like like uh...

Can I tell you a secret though? I'll tell you a secret. We don't know why anything, you see. Whatever we think we know why is all nonsense. So to recognize 'I don't know why' is beautiful. Yeah. And be okay with it and not not try and figure out why. Of course, because what can you figure out? Why are you? That is a fundamental, isn't it? First you are and then you have experiences and we are trying to figure out all the experiences which are subset of your existence. But why are you, you see? Why do you... there is no reason. All the reasons we make up just to keep the intellect quiet. We can call this Leela or we can say it's all for love or we can say that the unmanifest wanted to experience itself as the manifest, but it's all nonsense actually. Useful only to the extent that if it keeps the intellect quiet, you see. That's why the masters give us these answers, but they don't mean anything fundamentally because all of them presume that that which is unmanifest could have a want, wanted to be entertained, and that's why the Leela came. So if awareness could get bored, then I'm fine as a human.

Anyway, we are digressing. So the fact that... the fact is this: 'why' is the most useless question in this universe. A much more useful question is 'who'. And it's just a change of one alphabet, isn't it?

So there's something else that was coming up when when you were speaking before. You you were saying like um everything that comes after the 'I am' it's not true, you know? It's just a story. That's the story. And then you said something more jokingly, but it catches, like, 'Well, maybe even the I am not true.'

Yes. It's very questionable whether it... because true and untrue is also fundamentally not true. But let's operate under that paradigm for a moment. And in Advaita Vedanta there is a standard that has been set for truth, you see. And most of us, what we are sharing in Bhagavan's lineage is primarily derived from Vedanta. So what is the standard of truth that is set in Vedanta? Everything that comes and goes is not real, is not true. But fundamentally, most most originally, even this sense of being comes and goes. So this I am-ness also, I experience its coming and its going. I experience a deep sleep state in which even 'I am' is not, and yet I am, you see. But the sense of being as we refer to 'I am' is not. So even this I am-ness is... does not match up to the Vedantic principle of everything that comes and goes is not true.

If the I am-ness like like the beingness which you know manifests with the waking state is it... it is that which the waking state manifests?

Yeah. See, first I am, then all of this play of time and space and the world, it seems to appear within that. But is it a different I am? You know, that was... and it I didn't I didn't feel like asking these questions but somehow it's good.

What do you mean by different to what? Like the I am-ness during sleep and then and then and then this this feeling of beingness arises?

Yeah. So when referred, we are referring to the sense of beingness itself. The I which is even in sleep is just what we call the I is not like that which wakes up and goes to sleep is the 'am'. So the I which is am-ing or not am-ing stays constant independent of whether 'I am' or not, in whether being or not being. So the only truth in like this level that you're talking, like when you know the Vedantic level, would be that I, that I be prior to to be.

Yes.

You see, that is the only thing, quote-unquote, which comes, which passes muster with that filter. And that's why we refer to that as reality. Because in Vedanta it is said that only that is real which does not come and go. So you may remember that I used to ask these two questions: one was pointing to the sense of being and one was pointing to awareness. So the first question is if I say to you, 'Can you stop being? Can you not be for a moment?' You will you will look, you see, and you will notice that there there's a sense of existence, a sense of beingness here which is unstoppable, you see. But if I ask you, 'Are you aware now?' You will notice that that question is independent even of whether the sense of being is experienced or not. Empty of even the the need to be or the idea of being.

So it is the being which wakes up and we say it's so intimate that we say 'I woke up,' you see. And the being which goes to sleep and we say 'I went to sleep.' And yet there must be a constant witnessing, a constant awareness of all of this to even say that this change happened, you see. If you were there only on one aspect, then you could not could not be the witness to say that I went to sleep and then I woke up. So the I must be constantly. Just like you cannot say, 'Ananta, you were wearing a brown shirt the other day and today you're wearing a white one,' unless you were there to witness both. In the same way, you witness even sleep, which is the absence of even the sense of being. Otherwise how would you know there is... it would just be a sudden change in the waking if there was no awareness of sleep. That is, no awareness of even the absence of being, then you just notice a sudden change in the in the way of being. Suddenly from night it becomes day and you wonder what happened, you know. It's like a time lapse or something. But it's not like that. Even now if satsang gets very boring you go to sleep, you see, and I say, 'Michael?' 'Ah, sorry, I went to sleep. I'm so sorry I didn't sleep,' you see. So you're aware of that. Otherwise it would just be like, 'Why is he shouting?'

Yeah. Somehow like you you bring us back to total emptiness and and whatever, you know, concepts are being used feel like they have very little meaning.

Yes, that's good to hear. I'm happy to hear that because that is... if there is an intention, then that is the only intention. Yeah.

And that's when I feel like when when for me if there's an intention even to understand what you're saying, because it's like something wants to follow and understand, but that's what creates like attention.

Yeah. Yes, I am doing my job very badly if you can understand what I'm saying. Many times what can happen is that we do understand what is being shared in satsang, but that is only because we are doing uh like a convenient listening, you see. And what is that convenient listening? It's confirmation bias. So we come to satsang just to confirm what we think we already know and then we feel like my understanding, my understanding, which is conceptual understanding, got deeper because you unwittingly or unwittingly did.

I am doing my job very badly if you can understand what I'm saying. Many times what can happen is that we do understand what is being shared in satsang, but that is only because we are doing a convenient listening, you see. And what is that convenient listening? It's confirmation bias. So we come to satsang just to confirm what we think we already know, and then we feel like, 'My understanding, my understanding'—which is conceptual understanding—got deeper because you, unwittingly or unwittingly, did not hear the rest of it, which was doing the cleanup job of what was said earlier.

Now you're doing—you're doing a great job.

Oh, thank you. Okay, thank you. So good to see you again. Are you happy? You remember? My screen, Sangha, it says... I will look for... yeah, so many people. Okay, one says, 'When there is no being in deep sleep, how can someone be woken up? Because the very stimulus required the presence of being, that is an alarm clock.' It's so funny, we were just speaking this yesterday—not yesterday, my sense of time is where you are—so the other day. So the sense of being is there first. Sense of being is there first.

I think I read that Buddha said that Nirvana is the absence of becoming. Is this a useful definition? Yes, it is useful to the extent that it cleans you up and it makes you absent of becoming and needing any. Okay, one says, 'My mind is completely confused. I am even having a feeling that I'm not understanding English no more. I trust that this should be good.' That trust is good. The trust is good. Your mind is completely confused. Okay, I want to give you an experiment: Can you allow your mind to be confused, but you not be confused? Are you your mind? You see, this experiment is for everyone because all of us feel this way. The minute this monkey starts jumping, we feel like 'I'm jumping,' you see. But are you just that? Are you just this? This is just a tiny aspect of your existence. I'm not saying you have to deny it and say it doesn't exist, although fundamentally it doesn't. But the point is that even if it seems like it exists and it's dancing around, isn't there more to you? Why limit yourself to just this?

So I would invite a contemplation where you say to Mr. Mind or Mrs. Mind, 'Be completely confused and let me see what happens to my reality as you are confused.' Once you allow that, you cannot suffer anymore because then the mind can throw all its tantrums; it can go blue, it doesn't touch you. It never did, but you start to see that. And then you don't come to satsang, you see, expecting there to be clarity in the mind. It's an unreal expectation to expect that the voice of confusion one day will become clarity. Don't expect that leopard to change its spots. Let the leopard be; it will become a tame cat.

So all of you who feel like you still have a question and it's relevant, you can type it again please, so I don't have to scroll back so much and find. And many times you may be done with the question already. 'Master, how to be detached? How to be detached with the mind as it plays the major role?' Satsang. Satsang is a good antidote. Surrender is a good antidote. Self-inquiry is a good antidote. All the pointers are available to you in every satsang, you see. Use one and dig deep with that one. Don't change too much, you see. Because what happens sometimes is we keep changing. 'And today I'm going to surrender everything, everything that—everything is Father's problem.' Then the mind says, 'Blah blah blah blah blah blah, I have to deal with this,' you see. 'What do I do?' Then after a few minutes we say, 'Oh, the mind is back. What do I do? Okay, surrender doesn't work. Let me do the inquiry. Who am I? Oh, it's working, working. Ah, the blah blah blah went away,' you see. But that's not the inquiry working. The inquiry was 'Who are you?'

And then if you just make it this expectation that the inquiry should silence my mind, then that stops working, quote-unquote, in that way. And then it's back. Then we say, 'Inquiry stopped working. Now what do I do? You see, oh, do twenty Surya Namaskars or chant your mantra ten thousand times.' But if it's all about this expectation of getting something, then none of this can really work the way we expect it to work. So pick one thing. It can be anything. It can be chanting, it can be inquiry, it can be to remain open and empty, it can be to use any of the pointers in satsang and dig that well really deep. And many times we stop digging just when the water is there because that's when the mind can be the strongest, close to hitting water.

And also, let's bring everything that we can. Guruji says mind comes with its cousins to attack us. So if you say to yourself that everything is my Master's problem, then don't sell it cheap. And the mind comes and says, 'Oh, what's going to happen to that property of mine?' Master's problem. It doesn't mean your body becomes inert; it only means that inwardly you become open and you don't take on anything as a real problem. Inwardly. Outwardly the body can move as it is meant to.

The next one says a very good one. He says, 'My mind tells me you're a bully, but I'm only able to laugh, so I know you're doing a good job.' I've been called worse. This one said to me—yeah, I don't know—as the one who gave me the brand asked herself out of the Sangha very fast. Sweet knife. It can feel like that. One of the first times I was in satsang with Guruji, somebody came up on the stage and said to Guruji that he saw Guruji in the chai shop outside in Tiruvannamalai, and he came up on the stage and said to Guruji that, 'I saw you in the chai shop and something here just wanted to throw my hot tea on you.' It can happen like this because the mind wants to resist this one with all its force. So I'm not expecting a red carpet from your mind.

And the thing is that I noticed this expression and I see that this man is quite a softy actually, and yet the version that your mind paints for you can be quite different from how this expression actually is. Of course, one thing I do notice about this expression is that it's quite relentless. It's quite relentless. So maybe that's what it takes to be the strong aspect of it. But I can say your career fish... another child in satsang one day was having a tantrum and I said to her that if I join you in your delusion about yourself, then who's going to save us? Because when we're having the mind tantrum, we just want, 'Oh, but why doesn't Ananta accept, you see, that I am actually this person and this is actually happening to me?' And if I accepted your personhood like you do, then who would help us?

One says, 'I can sing a song of it, having strong reactions by this softy.' The full sequence is what I'm understanding. Okay, one says, 'Hello Father, what is the key to dispel all delusions? I tend to become paranoid at times and act aggressively towards others, but I want to be loving to all. Thank you for your time.' Very welcome. I see you. I'm not seeing you often here, so I'm going to say that just try and be in satsang as much as you can because the mind can expect a sort of a roadmap or a template or an answer, and that's what we've been talking about today. But there's no template like this. If there was a template, then it would be published by now and everybody would have gone through it and become free.

So our delusions are our false conditioning, and everybody has a unique set of false conditioning. And because every expression has a unique set of false conditioning, what then—the key that is needed to unlock it and for it to crumble—is also unique. Nobody that I have come across who is free has become free in exactly the same way as anyone else. That is the beauty of consciousness; it does not enjoy redundancy. That's why it makes every fingerprint different, every leaf, every snowflake—everything seems to be unique. So in the human condition, while we still have this human conditioning, it is a unique set of conditions that all of us have.

So when you come with humility to a Master and you work along with the Master in this way, then you'll find that you may not even realize that your conditioning is getting wiped away. Just the other day one child was here and I was sharing with him that when he came to satsang he was quite, you know, like this—full of questions and strong intellect and things like this—and just over a year or so he's been in satsang and I can see there's so much spaciousness, there's so much growth. Like Father says—no, Guruji says—that with Papaji, I may be misquoting him but I'm paraphrasing: 'With Papaji I did not learn a lot, but I grew a lot.' I'm sure I messed that up. So if somebody knows the right quote, please tell me. But that was the essence of what I got from what he was saying. You're not getting a lot of stuff here, you're not really learning something, but you're just in the presence of satsang. Something happens where you become open and empty. Changed a lot or transforming a lot. Thank you, thank you.

Next one says, 'Father, does surrender, faith in one's personal God, fit in this surrender pointer?' Yes. If you can bow your head down to anything at all, it is enough. It doesn't matter what you're bowing down to as long as it is with integrity, as long as it is not a business deal where you're saying, 'I bow down, therefore then you will give me this.' Then it could be anything. Doesn't matter, because everything is God anyway. Yeah. Ah yes, Johanna, where is she gone? Can you put your hand up again, my dear? So you come right on top and I can unmute you.

Hi. Hello. Hi. It was a bit calmer now. Like everything seems a bit calmer, but maybe still it should come up. I did receive—I did receive your message as well. Somehow I've not had the space for the answer, but maybe it was best that it happened this way. It's okay. I felt some answer was coming in some way anyway through some videos and some time as well. So yeah, it's okay. It just feels like there's some struggle happening here still. And let me see, where is it? Where is it? I don't see it. I know the answer will be, but it's not here right now. Yes, what happens after satsang ends and it comes back? It's really close. And just today and on other occasions this felt very clear that I am here and they're not me, they're not what I am, so they can say what they want. So when it's like observing, observing or just letting something be and not resisting, then that made sense. But sometimes when there's this real resistant feeling or something like—oh, and it's coming in like a very, at the moment, visual, intrusive, really unpleasant, and I don't want to—I don't want to see it. But I guess I don't need things... will you... can you elaborate on this just also? But maybe like this, if just... just really unpleasant. Unpleasant scenes of things that you don't want to see, like something from the past or imagining something.

Yeah, imagining but it's not that I want to imagine it, but it's coming like that. Imagining what? Like scenes of conflict or what kind of—

Yeah, just some kind of action or something happening which is very unpleasant and it's involved in me and I'm doing something wrong and yeah, inappropriate. It's like this.

Yeah, like what could you be doing wrong, for example?

I was behaving badly. That I would harm someone in some way. Not—they're not true at all, but I don't want to—I don't want to see it because it's like trying to say like it's something I would want to do or I would want to happen.

You know what this reminds me of? I won't take names, although you may figure who I'm talking about. There's one Sangha member, she said that, 'Father, I have this fear that I'm going to kill someone.' You see, 'I have this fear that I'm going to kill someone.' And she's the sweetest, very sweet child, you know. So I said to her then, 'What, you will be like a singing assassin?' And so what happened when we joke about these things, when we laugh about these things, is that this idea that 'I don't want this to come'—and the minute the mind hears 'I don't want this to come,' what do you think?

I'm talking about there's one sangha member, she said that, "Father, I have this fear that I'm going to kill someone." You see? "I have this fear that I'm going to kill someone." And she's the sweetest, very sweet child, you know? So I said to her, "Then what? You will be like a singing assassin?" And so what happened when we joke about these things, when we laugh about these things, is that this idea that "I don't want this to come"—and the minute the mind hears "I don't want this to come," what do you think the mind does? Yes, okay, thank you, this will not come? No. It's saying this is its invitation, you see? "I don't want this to come" means now it has your trump card. Anytime it wants to make you dance, it has to press that button.

So can we do an experiment together? Yeah, and I'm there as we do this. You allow everything to come. You see, you can close your eyes and welcome the bleakest visuals, the strongest ones, you see, and know that I am with you in your heart. Don't be scared of anything that is coming. Everything can come and it can stay for a while if it wants to.

It is not so much... it's like more of an energy or of something that you would normally want to resist, but it's not visually showing anything because I'm not resisting it. That's the key itself.

And of course, in satsang you have all the energetic support that you need. But even when you're not in this physical sort of satsang, then you'll notice that as you are not resisting it, you see... and sometimes you may feel like, "My Master is with me, so I'm not scared. You see, he is holding my hand, so I'm not scared. Anything can come."

You will notice that this which seemed so scary was just like when we were younger, we were scared of the shadows sometimes. But as we matured out of that fear, we realized that there was nothing. And sometimes it does happen, you see, when you invite the mind, if you do it with too much expectation that nothing is going to come, that in a way still becomes a resistance. And the mind says, "Okay, I will show you," you see? And it brings you a lot of bleak things. It brings you a lot of stuff which you thought you didn't want to see. But you try and keep that welcoming attitude and you will realize that only your being is infinite. Only the being is infinite. The mind does not have an endless supply of nonsense. It runs out. Everything that is false runs out. So if you meet it in your spaciousness, in your fullness, then let it come.

And by the way, the trick is that this is not just for the stuff that you see with your eyes closed. It's any life situation. Yeah, everything can come just from all angles. It really is from all angles.

And really a lot of unpleasant things at the moment. Well, yeah, they are. It's not nice.

And one trick I have for you is that instead of saying it's coming, you say it's going. Yeah.

That does... and yeah, it was... before, I like saying thank you. Like saying thank you more. And that is coming up to go. And if you're not... if you're allowing it to be there more, then it's okay. There's still a little feeling of wanting it all to go, though, and to feel good, to be past it.

But you will be. Like I said, there's not an endless supply of this conditioning. There's not an endless supply of these vasanas, as you may call them. And all of this gets released. So really, if you're not building more judgment about it, you're not adding more resistance to it, it is actually true that it is not coming, it is just going.

Yeah, because the resistance is the same. It is bringing it closer as well, isn't it? And that's what I've realized, because it's very unpleasant. I don't want it to be here, so I'm like trying to push it away.

And yeah, when we become open and we are getting to emptiness, then all of this has to leave our conditioned system in a way. So treat it as auspiciousness instead of unpleasantness. I know it can sound utopian, yeah, but I was saying that if you can not label it as unpleasant, if you can just say, "This is just something that has to be seen through and it is nothing in itself," I just have to welcome it, be open to it. Because in our subtle labeling, even to call it as something not good or unpleasant, it's actually empowering it in some way.

But is it going if attention is just... well, just letting it go, just letting it be? And even if it doesn't show anything visually, is that still it going?

It's still... if you're not making it part of your narrative, if you're not making it part of your story, even if attention gets fully fixated by something when it comes, it is still going, you see? So it's not really about trying to get a hold on your attention. It is more about not making it part of your story or giving it more meaning than it deserves, which is zero meaning, by the way.

And it's realizing that there is this... recognizing that there is this here, and not anything, but here is. And that's not always maybe so clear, what is here. Like my sense of beingness here remains untouched by whatever may come and go. Is that what you mean?

Yeah, yes, of course. But that's not always so clear. And in those moments, what can happen is that that spiritual knowledge sometimes can act as a subtle resistance. Like what can happen sometimes is that, "But I'm here, none of this is affecting me," you see? So it creates this sort of resistance to it rather than just meeting it empty and saying, "Okay, I don't know anything about any of this." Otherwise, you know, it can become like a tactic or a ploy, and tactics actually many times are counterproductive, you see?

So just to take this example, you may have heard this before many times. What people are trying to do is they're trying to love their ego to death, you see? They realize that, "Oh, if you hate the ego or if you resist the ego, it only becomes stronger." Then the mind comes up with a smart solution and says, "Okay, therefore then what I must do is I must embrace my ego till it dies." You see? But the ego is not that stupid, unfortunately, because it will realize that it's just a new way of resisting, you see? It's like a pretend love. Just waiting for something to die is not really love, isn't it?

So we cannot use these tricks and tactics in that way and cannot say, "I'm really open to you, but I'm open only because once I'm open you will go." So that is not really open. You see what I'm saying? It's a bit subtle. Yeah. So because I tried, "I wanted you not to come," and the more I wanted you not to come, you kept coming. Now I'm going to try new things so that you don't come. "I'm going to welcome you to come, but I don't want you to come." So that is still closeness, you see, in the guise of openness.

It's the same voice that can be seen that comes after.

Yes. So true openness is whatever grace has in store for me, however long it has it in store for me. That is surrender.

Sounds tough.

You'll be fine. You'll be fine. Yeah. And if you resist one thing, the good news is if you resist once in a while, it's okay. Everybody does. It's okay.

But I feel you're with me, and even now speaking with you and just in general.

Yeah, I am always with you, my dear. All this... I don't know if it was not like this nervous feeling of before, I don't... and I was very happy to hear in your report that Sriram is being a big support to you and a big help to you in all of this. Absolutely amazing. No words. Because you guys are in a good mood with each other right now? Is it always like this? Don't worry, I'm just teasing you. I missed you. He's not sent me any report. Might work UK for the time being. You miss Lucknow? No? You were quite done by the time you left? Yeah, maybe it was like... it was an okay time for us to move on. We would have loved to have come down to Bangalore and still now, we'll see. Very good. Okay, good.

Okay, let's catch up. One says, "Father, then I offer this ancient annoyance of mine at your feet. Actually, I'm so happy for its surfacing and playing because it was depressed for a very long time." Yes. Next one says, "I have been believing much in understanding. Now I just love to feel you. I have clearly gone beyond that and just seeing and feeling it rejoices and feeds some trust in that." Very good, right? Very good.

One of the greatest advantages of having the embodiment, like a living embodiment of the Master in our lives, is to see that it is possible. It is possible. And that is the value of Guruji in our life, that we see in this beautiful embodiment of the highest truth how it is possible to have a very natural life and yet so empty of all of this conditioning and ego. Till we meet a Master, it just remains conceptual in books. So we need a representation, a manifest representation of that one which is pointing us to the Satguru in our heart, you see? And yet to see one as an embodiment in manifest form is a beautiful pointer to the one that it represents in our heart. Thank you.

So he wants to come, he can come in a moment. I'll just finish reading all these messages. Next one says, "I surrender myself and everything that can be surrendered. I surrender the good, the bad, the in-between, spiritual pride, life situation, all that I know, all sense of achievement either bodily or in any plane, everything in any plane and possibility. If I have to choose only one thing to surrender, I surrender 'I'." Very beautiful. Good, good.

Next one says, "Sometimes when I feel so good here as here, the joy energy wants to go forth and create or invest in future ideas." You see, let it all be released. It is a happy distraction. This is joy. The joy itself doesn't have a narrative, it doesn't have a story. So everything that comes from this space of openness can be allowed and let it bless everything that it comes across with no expectation. But to make a story around it is only the work of the mind. Future, invest, create—it's all just notions in the mind. So let the joy play. Don't give it that mental meaning. Don't presume to know what it is doing.

Hi Father, can you hear me? Hello, hello, I can hear you. Hi Father, I just wanted to ask you, based on what we spoke last week about taking on too many things and just accepting it as it was, as it is, and as it comes... I have a very big question that's been bothering me, that's been on the back of my head rather for the last one week, and I had to ask you about it. How does... if I am accepting everything that comes my way and just being a part of however it plays out, how would I... how do I make it so that I'm in that moment and not thinking about a hundred other possibilities, whether that's in a work context or with people or myself? How do I be with that one thing and not shift from A to B?

Yeah, so accepting, you see, accepting everything is so vast. No space for past or future on it or any conceptual possibilities, you see? So it will probably broaden our definition of accepting. Oh, you're already doing very well, you see? I can tell you're already doing very well. But maybe there's an idea of accepting which means that I'm just accepting something conceptually. No, accept everything that is right now and tell me if there is any room or any space for anything else to play. Is there any future left now? No. And this will grow, you see? Because our vision has become limited because our attention has got dissipated between looking at this manifest world and contemplating our thoughts or looking at our thoughts, you see? So we've never really accepted even the manifest appearance of this world. And as we are not so now caught up in our mental field, we start to feel like we are seeing the world for the first time, actually. And in every moment in this appearance of this manifest, there's just so much here that there's no room to really think about the past or the future, you see? Because the minute we get into that, we're no longer accepting or open. We've got back into a constricted sort of field. So our vision becomes more universal, you see? So do an experiment now. Maybe you were here when I did this before, but maybe we can try again.

In this field, we start to feel like we are seeing the world for the first time, actually. And in every moment in this appearance of this manifest, there's just so much here that there's no room to really think about the past or the future, you see? Because the minute we get into that, we're no longer accepting or open; we've got back into a constricted sort of field. So our vision becomes more universal, you see.

So do an experiment now. Maybe you were here when I did this before, but maybe we can try again. Look at this hand and look at it as clearly as you can, but also pay attention to a thought and think about the past or future. And you'll notice it's blurry. Either the hand starts to become blurry or attention goes to these thoughts, you see? So it becomes all dissipated in half and half. You see that either the thoughts are accepted clearly, no, or the hand is accepted clearly. But in the true acceptance, you see, we just... there's so much. The minute this waking state starts, it's so full of all this light and sound and drama with all of this beautiful, you see, play of all these appearances. This magical play, magical movie starts to show up. There's really no space to think and to say, 'Oh, how should I do this?' and 'How do I accept or not accept?' Even all that, there is no room.

So the tip I have for you today is just continue to make your vision more universal, you see. Allow yourself to meet even this manifest world fully, and that is true acceptance. And then tell me if there is room to confuse yourself with ideas of passing through. Even what is here in the moment we cannot fully assimilate; where is the room to think about future or past? I see you doing acceptance includes that. So anytime you feel like there is room for the mind to spin its yarn, just remember that we can broaden our acceptance even more. Yes, okay.

And this does not mean, by the way, that the mind or thought cannot continue to appear. They can also be accepted in the moment, but what will happen is that you will not make it part of your narrative, which is the narrative of nobody, you see. It is neither the narrative of the body nor is it the narrative of the Self. So it is the narrative of a fictional character, just like a character in a book. That is what we call the ego that we've just been building onto. As this narrative structure loses its potency, then you will realize that naturally you are accepting more. And then as you are accepting more, then you will see it's easier to drop the narrative as well. So it's a virtuous circle as opposed to the vicious circle of believing our thoughts, then becoming more constricted, then believing more thoughts and narratives about ourselves and becoming more constricted. That's what humanity seems to be living in; it's just going from bad to worse.

But the minute we come in touch with openness or acceptance, then we start to loosen up a bit. We start to give life some space, make some space, and then you realize the magnificence of even this manifest creation. That's why this Leela, Maya, is also called Mahamaya. It's a great Leela; it's tremendous. It's a beautiful design of the greatest creator. But we've been missing it. We've been missing this movie because we've only met it halfway, because half our attention has been in 'What's in it for me? How do I deal with this stuff?' you see, this kind of thing. In fact, the 'What's in it for me?' is like the maha-mantra of the ego, to look at everything and grab it in some way. It cannot grab anything, you see, but it tries to spread its tentacles out everywhere and grab, grab, grab.

But when we let go, you see, when we meet true openness and acceptance, then it's not about a 'me' anymore. It's not about the story of this individual me, and that's when we really meet life. We start to really live in that way. We realize what a limitation, what a limited way we were constricting our existence to, and now we come to this broad openness and we just... so every moment becomes so full of wonder. So for the sage, sometimes you can just feel like you're really concerned about this stuff which is going on in your head, but there's so much good stuff happening in the rest of your existence.

A simple way to put it is that you realize that the subtitles were all messed up, you see, and a lot of your focus was going on the subtitles. But now if you start watching the movie without the narrative structure, you start enjoying it so much. In fact, those are the movies I really enjoy the most anyway, that don't have such a sticky narrative, you know, because all those stories are old now, like they're primitive. So isn't it for most of us, we enjoy something which has some freshness to it, not the same old tropes? So in the same way in our life also, once we let go of the story of 'What's in it for me?' you see, then you realize that, wow, this seems to be a completely different ball game from what I thought it was.

I'm happy. I'm happy to hear from you, and my full blessings are with you. Thank you, thank you, Father, for maturing your openness and acceptance.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Okay, so looks like that's about it. What did you want to hear? Some Devi? Should we play that one? You know this one, one of my favorite ones. Thank you all so much for being in Satsang today.