I'm Inviting You Home, Where We Are One - 14th August 2020

Not right now, no. No, you're sweeping away everything. You're making it very, very simple, very, very direct. Yeah, and I think someone said recently that you live—in a recent satsang someone said you leave nothing for us to hold on to, something like this. And it's how it's felt here too. And it's wonderful. It makes the surrender, which is very, very accessible, very here. Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

Very good. Okay, so one says, "Father, experientially time is getting faster day by day for me. It seems like the Fridays are coming just after one second." Very good. So then you're in satsang all the time. Yes, actually faster and slower, all these will also lose their meaning, but I have a sense of what you're saying. Of course, to be honest, it's a bit difficult because very often what happens here is that if somebody's been away for many months, I end up saying, "Oh, you went what, three weeks ago?" And then they'll be a bit offended because they feel like I didn't miss them or something like that. But I have to say that time doesn't have so much of a hold when we let go of these notional constructs of time and space. So many times you'll notice that time is so unstable, you see. Many people in any way in the world say time flies when you're having fun. So you must be having fun, so that's good, that's good. But when you're burning sometimes, then it can seem like, "When will this get over? Why is this stretching so much?" And maybe that is also grace. Maybe that is also grace, that the moments of burning can seem elongated because we can look at them more carefully. Maybe that's good. And it's speculating; there's no truth in any of that. Good, good, good. Okay, we heard from Niranjan last time as well, but he wants to make a report. So let's hear a quick report from Niranjan. You can come, my dear.

Hello, hello, hello. So the quick report is thank you so much.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I got your beautiful message as well and I'm very grateful, very happy to read it. I'm very happy, very good. Are you talking about the email that I—okay, I thought you might not read that. I read it. I haven't had the time to respond yet. I felt like I could just share with you when we meet like this. It really touched my heart. Thank you very much.

Yeah, actually I also wanted to share, but I don't know, at that time I felt like writing an email so I just wrote an email. So that's why I just—anyways, I don't have to say anything actually, you know that. But for last quite a few days, what I am experiencing is a sense of lightness, you know, lightness in the sense like unburdening or something. Yes, yes, everything seems so light, you know, so like nothing is so serious. Like I used to take things so seriously and personally, but nothing is like that. It's like, you know, it's just fun in a way, how to say that. So it's like so happy.

So I'm very happy. I'm very, very happy because—I hope you might won't mind me sharing—but I remember that in the past you had a lot of things about depression and these constrictions, very strong depression and things like this. So I'm very touched that this openness, this lightness, this freedom is being experienced there. I'm very touched by this. Very good.

Yes, Father. You know, those same kind of things are now like, you know, very light. And just like when the mind plays, it's like, you know, there is no question of fear, but it's like just a gentle smile comes to your face. That's it. It's more of an innocent smile. It's not like a cynical smile, you are criticizing the mind or nothing like that. It's just, you know, just like more of a joyful innocent smile comes. That's it.

Okay, good enough. Just simple, gentle smile, forehead relaxed. That's it. That's the highest pointing. Oh yeah, don't make the orange juice. No making orange juice in the head. You heard this orange juice example? No? This is a good one. So what happens is that these mind thoughts, they're calling them oranges, no? And we let them go, they're no trouble. The minute we start to make orange juice, that is when the suffering comes. And sometimes you experience orange juice as tears, you know? This example is suffering. So it's just squeezing. But the thing is that many times, because so many of you are such advanced seekers, you don't heed my advice when I say that just keep your forehead relaxed and that's it. You feel like, "What kind of pointing is that? I have come to an Advaita Vedanta master and he's giving me some yogic instruction, not even difficult yoga." But once you try it, you see that it actually works, you see. You just open up. You just open up. So that's a good trick and tip: gentle smile, no making orange juice. We are good.

Actually, that was not much of a problem here because I was not after anything like spiritual also. So like I was not in search of Self or God or enlightenment or nothing. I just wanted to be free from my depression. That's what I wanted, to be free from the suffering. That's what I was looking for at all. So those things, I mean, they didn't play that much here.

Very happy, very happy. Very good, good, good, good. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you so much. Love you. Okay, next one. Cedar, you want to come, my dear?

Hi, Father. And today I want to offer some things to you. First of all, I want to say that I love you so much. Yes. So one is that recently the desire for relationship is playing in my mind in general, but for someone—

You mean someone in particular? Yeah, you like someone. Let's put it that way.

Yes, yes. It's okay. Just to de-spiritualize the conversation, just to de-jargonize, de-spiritualize the conversation a bit. You're saying you like someone.

Yes, yes. It's just it starts with a sweet feeling, of course. It's just so easy, but it's just has to cause too much in the mind and I just want to offer it to you because it's just—it's like at the same time I'm like the honeymoon with my being. I feel like this. So first it has started, you know, I'm like honeymoon with my being and then this theme starts to come up and play in the mind. So I truly want to offer this to you. And the desire to have a relationship also is here, but also it's nothing. So I just want to offer it's your thing.

It's very good. That's very good. I like the way you put it: the honeymoon with your being. Let that become a permanent marriage. Let that become a permanent marriage. And from this marriage—and it's not even a marriage because there are no two; you are the Self playing as a being—but I like the metaphor still, it's nice. So may it become just like that. May it become just natural and easy that you're on this perpetual honeymoon, as you called it. And then whatever has to play out in this play of life, that can play out. As you know that I'm not restricting anyone from what should happen in this worldly play of activity, nor am I encouraging it. So I'm neither encouraging the relationship nor am I discouraging it. I'm open to let being take care of that because the true honeymoon with the being is where being is just taking care of everything. So if it moves in such a way that you end up in what we call a relationship with this one, then all my blessings. If it doesn't play out that way, then all my blessings. Both ways, full blessings.

Thank you so much. And thank you for this opportunity to offer everything at your feet. You know, it's just the most precious for me. Yeah, I want to share something too. Few days ago I saw a dream. It was very interesting kind of dream, very strong one. And when I wake up—it was very strong dream—when I wake up I was like, "What was that?" And I little bit checked, and I literally checked this dream and this brought me the point that, you know, I shared this with you the last time we talked, that the mind is very calm now, no problem, nothing. And while this mind is very serene, I just want to offer it at your feet because I always offer its content at your feet, but now I want to take the chance to, you know, fully, fully, fully be at your feet.

I'm very happy with this because what happens is that to offer it when it is not troubling us, that is very beautiful, you see. Because usually what we want to do is we want to make a relationship with it when it's not troubling us. So I'm very happy. This is beautiful. This is beautiful because to see that it's not causing so much trouble, it's quite calm and peaceful, and without taking a position of being anti-mind or something, it's just—you see, because it's never telling us the truth of our reality even in its calmness and its apparent peace. It's very beautiful that you offer it even now. So I'm very happy, very happy to hear that.

So yes, actually, you know, I have bought your book, PDF version, and it's really, it's amazing. And I call it in myself it's a magic book, you know. The first time I opened it and it was amazing. Thank you.

And yeah, thank you for this also. It's all God's grace. All these books that come, actually I hardly have to do anything, you know. I just share satsang and then one of you takes on the seva. They feel inspired to just make a collection of the quotes or the transcripts, and all the books have happened in this way. And Amaya, of course, most of you know that she collected so many books she made from transcripts for so many years till her passing a couple of years ago. And then now Shruti has done such a good job with this new one with beautiful quotes and things, and also she's illustrated it very, very nicely. And all of you can feel free to just download it without having to pay or anything like that. So what I noticed is that we had some twelve books or something and they've all been available for free on the website to download, no? And nobody was downloading those. And then Consciousness Speaking with Consciousness came and then we were printing them and it's a big one, so that had a price. And I noticed that that was going much more, the one with the price. So now we came to this very beautiful site called Gumroad where you can choose. You can choose whether whatever you want to pay, you can download it for free. You're all welcome to do that. But I was marveling at the nature of the mind, no? Things which are available just like that for free, they hardly get used. But Consciousness Speaking with Consciousness, which was a proper editing and work done and things like this, so that one had a particular price and that had much more sales than the ones that were available for free. Not that that was a lot either, but then this one is a nice option with Gumroad. So whatever you feel in your heart, you can go and put over there. So it's very nice. And I've been corrected that Amaya passed last year. As I was saying, this time thing is increasing, but she's always here. She's always here. Many times I still look at the Zoom and I feel like she'll be looking back at—

That one had a particular price and that had much more sales than the ones that were available for free—not that that was a lot either—but then this one is a nice option with Gumroad. So whatever you feel in your heart, you can go and put over there. So it's very nice. And I've been corrected that Amaya passed last year. As I was saying, this time thing is increasing, but she's always here. She's always here. Many times I still look at the Zoom and I feel like she'll be looking back at me from there. She was a constant physical presence, and now she's a constant spiritual presence. Wow, lots of hands have gone up now. Thank you, my dear. Shiv can come. So all those who finish can put their hands down so it's a bit easier for me.

Hello, can you hear me, Father?

Yes, yes, I can hear you.

Okay, okay. So, Father, for some time now, before I used to think that I've lost my aversion towards working. Now, I felt touched because after I met you, then it was a bit more light. But I don't know, for the past couple of days, it's been somewhat like that; I've been somewhat averse to it. So I thought that they're like mind attacks. So then I would meditate and I would put my attention towards who is aware of it and all of that awareness. And then once, what can you say, something intuitive came up and it said—it might even be from hearing you, I'm not sure where it came from—but it was saying that you, I mean, go to that place. Ask 'Who am I?' Go to what it points to and tell the mind to speak from there, like taking yourself to be that. And I've been gradually doing that and sometimes, I don't know, it's been a bit lighter. But I've noticed one thing: that I mean, it's not a complete recognition—I don't think it is—but at times I've been able to notice how that one has no desires, that one does nothing. But this idea of duality is still there, that you know, there is this 'Who am I?' and then that is distinct from everything else. And there's nothing which is on the same class, anything that can be compared to it, but it's still different. So can you give me some pointing to or something that I can do to get rid of this duality?

Yeah, thank you. Thank you for sharing that. It happens very organically here as well. Sometimes there's full-on energy towards work; sometimes I don't want to touch my computer at all. Or especially touch it for—I may want to watch a movie or something like that. That's fine. So you can allow it to play naturally. There's no need to manage so much any of that because what can happen is that we can trust life, and life unfolds and unravels in its own beautiful way. I don't know, it also depends on what the work is like because in my case, with Guruji's grace, I don't have a boss or something like that except the one sitting here. So I didn't have to conform to a certain time or have to do a certain thing in that particular time. There was enough flexibility that grace had provided here. I noticed actually that a lot of work does end up happening through this expression these days, and there are many times where there's no feeling to do that work. But what is more important is not to be the checker guy or give yourself points on having the aversion or losing the aversion. Just leave that. Leave that checking guy, because the checking guy will become a lot more oppressive, you see, than the work or the not-work. Is it the one that is calling you? You heard this from me before most likely, that this checker guy will become very, very oppressive and constantly look at every activity happening through the body and make a judgment about you based on that. And that will become part of the spiritual goal, which then is very difficult to dislodge, you see, because everything that is saying is also a word from satsang.

So good, you have the weekend coming up now?

Yeah, Saturday night. No, I get one holiday per week and then I have taken this Friday so that I can talk to you freely. So my weekend is today.

Just allow the body to unfold how it has to unfold. And that's the place—I know it's difficult if you're in a very fixed sort of work environment and there are deadline pressures and things like this. Even that works out, I've seen mostly. Sometimes there are customer expectations and they want us to make some presentation or something with a deadline, and it still works out one way or the other without having to think about it too much. Just board the Guru. Let every station be what the Guru decides. It's completely fine. Even this duality thing, yeah, forget about duality. Duality is only when you think about it.

I didn't get you.

What duality is, is only when you think about it. Duality and non-duality—like if you make one duality, that is also opposed to something. So just don't worry, right? Thank you. I want to say one thing: that as you progress actually, you see—and probably just a mythical notion—but as you progress, you will find that the instruction gets simpler and simpler. You may feel that as we are maturing more and more, the instruction will become more and more: 'What is the true reality of consciousness versus awareness?' and you know, 'What is the mechanics of Atma versus Paramatma?' If you're maturing, then this instruction you will see is the most potent one, you see. Initially, the same thing we hear, we hear it in a different way, you see. We hear it as somebody; we hear it as a person. Now we hear it as Being, as consciousness, you see. So when I say let go and don't worry, I'm talking to you as consciousness, allowing it to remain open and empty. So don't worry about aversion, don't worry about work, don't worry about duality, non-duality—all of these notions, forget about them.

Thanks. Even though these notions which we think are helpful and are keeping me on the right—

Sometimes they can seem to play that role, but ultimately even they have to be let go of. It's okay. More and more we are coming to trust what is happening. It is that we were holding on to individuality, doership, and then we hold on to spiritual notions, you see. And it's good to hold on to one, like whatever appeals to you before, if you're doing the inquiry, you see. So 'Who is aware of this awareness?' or 'Who am I?'—any of these questions which you feel like points you direct, direct without any intervention in the middle, you see, those we can hold on to. But ultimately even these we can let go of. And with the openness that, with the integrity actually, that when something causes the suffering, something causes the poking, then we just remind ourselves to let go. And when the reminder to let go doesn't seem to really work, then: 'Who am I? What representation of myself am I taking to be the reality?' Like this, it becomes very simple, right? Okay, thank you. Very good. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, thank you, my dear. Keisha—I hope I'm pronouncing it right—Keisha can come.

Hello, can you hear me?

Hello, my dear. Yes, yes, very well. Thank you.

Okay. I just felt to come forward and be open with you and vulnerable. There's always kind of a sense of being just a little bit of a distance and, well, I don't want that anymore for my connections with you and with Mooji. Always kind of at a distance, and so this is my attempt to remove that. Yeah, there seems to be a deepening and a simplicity and just kind of an effortlessness that's kind of continuing, you know, without my trying. It just is kind of happening. And sometimes there's avoidance, but it doesn't matter because it continues to be presented to me over and over as an opportunity to deepen. And there's, you know, Mooji talks about it—the ace up the sleeve of the mind or your last straw, like the really big, burning thing that's kind of holding us back. And I feel like mine is fear. And I always thought it was fear of rejection or fear of being replaced or fear of abandonment. And I tried to look deeper into that fear and what it actually was, and it feels like maybe it's even just fear of disappearing. So like fear of death or fear of ego in disguise of fear of rejection through relationship. And well, there's really nothing to it, but I just want to bring it to you somehow or gain clarity on it or be able to release it, because I feel like it really, when it comes up, it burns, you know? And it really comes up strongly. And I kind of just accepted it and reacted to it as if it was me, but I see that it's really detrimental and holding me back in Being. So I guess that's it. I mean, I don't know where else to go from that.

So first I want to say to you that very well spotted. Very well spotted. Because this fear, you see, is primal. It's primal. And the minute, the instant we meet ourself in our nakedness, in our openness, without any sense, any mental sense of any of this, you see, that is when this primal fear—it can feel like the fear, great fear of the great unknown. It can feel like the fear of death. It can feel like fear of just completely being lost, you see. And most—I don't want to say all, but I can say most—who come to their freedom have to cross this fear, have to transcend this fear, you see. Now, that's the best news: that the fear is completely unfounded, of course. And you realize that as well, and yet it shows up because it's a primal instinct in a way, you see. Because I know very easily I will say like this, you see: you are free, empty of any conditions, any notions, you are free. But what happens is that then we are no longer making sense of any of this, you see. There's no longer the difference between the manifest and the unmanifest, no longer the notions of time or space, no longer the notions of yesterday or tomorrow, no notion left of up or down, of God or myself. All of these dissolve, you see. Then what happens is that something very primal shows up there, you see. And this can feel like death, you see, because we feel so lost. It's like we're floating in limbo or something like this. No, it's just like, 'What's going on? What's going on?' And then the mind comes as a friend and says, 'Ah, okay, I'm going to help you make some sense of this, you see, because you have to leave this nonsense. You have to leave this nonsense. Let's make some sense of it. What is happening to you is an awakening experience,' you see. And that is the end of the awakening experience. The minute we have determined that it is an awakening experience, that's the end of it. The minute we have gone back to reliance on this mind to label what is, you see, then we are back into the limited labeling and back into the limited identification.

So I just want to say to you that this fear, you see, just let it wobble as much as it wants. You're in safe hands. You're completely safe, you see. Nothing will happen to you. It is my guarantee, you see. Nothing will happen to you. It will wobble around for a bit. Nobody can guarantee how long it will wobble. Nobody can guarantee how long it will wobble. But I can guarantee you that it's unfounded and you will not be harmed in this process. So you don't have to fear the fear.

Yes. Yeah, don't fear the fear.

Let it play out. In fact, if you want, it's sometimes easier to even have a little bit of an inviting attitude towards the fear.

Yes, yes. I found that open invitation: 'Take what you will, take what you will.' And once you make yourself available in this way, you see that nothing true can be taken. Nothing true can be harmed. Nothing real can be threatened, as it says in A Course in Miracles. So nothing real can be threatened. So like this, it's very—I want to reassure you that it's very natural for this to happen and it's maybe a symptom of your coming to your freedom. And allow it to play out as much as it likes. I'm with you. I'm holding your hand through this.

Thank you. It is, it is. And I've found with the fear too, like it's to isolate it to its simplicity is better, but there's been such a story around it for so long—an identity about rejection or replacement or not good enough. But isolating is just—

I want to reassure you that it's very natural for this to happen and it's maybe a symptom of you coming to your freedom. Allow it to play out as much as it likes. I'm with you; I'm holding your hand through this.

Thank you. It is, it is. And I've found with the fear, too, like it's to isolate it to its simplicity is better, but there's been such a story around it for so long—an identity about rejection or replacement or not being good enough. But isolating is just fear; it's just pure fear. And so, just even leaning into it like you said, without the story about rejection or anything like that, like a pure fear, I think is going to be really helpful.

Very good. I'm so happy to hear this report because very often I say: describe, don't explain. Like you have done today, you've described, you've not explained. In the sense—and these words are a bit confusing, we are stuck with the usual vocabulary—so I can deconstruct that a bit. When I say describe, I'm just talking about you saying that there's an experience of a fear, you see? But if you make it part of a story, if you make it part of a narrative, then it becomes more of a description and then it becomes very difficult to deal with. So, very beautifully you said just to notice it as a pure perception. And of course, we are just communicating, but when we are noticing it as a pure perception, even the label 'fear' is not there, you see? Even the label 'constriction' is not there. It is just noticed as a pure perception.

Yes, of course. Yeah.

This is the true meeting with what is showing up, you see? The minute we label it, and especially when we make it part of a narrative structure, then we are no longer meeting it. Then we are just meeting our baggage with all the history and the conditioning. Yes, empty of these, you see? So yes, this is the non-avoidance actually, because many will tell you that, 'Ah, you're just avoiding it.' You see? 'You're just avoiding it by not labeling it fear; you're not admitting that you have fear.' But this is not what we are talking about. We meet it completely openly, completely with full acceptance, you see? But the label sometimes carries too much baggage, more than the condition itself. Many times it is a label. Like, how does one deal with fear? It's impossible because that is the label. Fear in itself is a term which carries so much baggage. But when we say, 'Okay, there is this,' you see? Yes, just noticed. Yes, fully met.

Yes, I hear you. I hear that. Thank you, I do. And it's the same fear; it comes up sporadically, but I feel like it's always a hum, right? It's always kind of just there, but it comes up full force once in a while. And when I went on a retreat with Mooji, my last retreat with him, this burning that I felt periodically was full on all night long. It was the same burning in the chest, and it's all the same thing.

It's the same, and yet it's beautiful because the exact same thing we never experience twice, you see? You know what I mean? Let's look at that because just like it is said, no, you never step into the same river twice. So what happens is that in the construct of these perceptions, I have noticed that consciousness hates redundancy. So the exact—when you become more and more open to this, you will notice that yes, it maybe is a cousin or belongs to the same family that we call fear, but the way it is experienced, there are subtle shades of difference every time. And in that way, we become so beautifully open and so much remain with our pure perception that we start to even notice these things. It becomes like snowflakes, you see? They can seem like they're all snowflakes, but each snowflake is different. The scientists have studied and they've seen that under the microscope you can see that the design of every snowflake is different. The same way these energy constructs that we experience, you see, you will notice that they have similar shades, but actually every time we experience something new. In every moment of our existence, we experience something new. And what happens is that when we get involved in the labeling, then we are no longer noticing so much because we've already concluded we know what it is, you see? But as we let go of the labeling and we meet it in the pure perception, then you may start—it'll sound strange to say—but you may start delighting in the intricacies of the differences in which even this that we call fear shows up, you see?

Yes, yes.

There was some infection in this body, and this was maybe three years ago or something, and I was just enjoying it so much. I was feeling like I'm just floating in chocolate sauce or something because, you know, with the fever comes—no, these things, I don't want to call them energies, but these are just energetic constructs that just want to be like that. So I just feel like I'm just floating in some chocolate sauce, you know? And then somebody told me, somebody said, 'Enough now, you have to start taking antibiotics.' Looking at the energetic constructs of how it is changing every day and enjoying as if looking through a kaleidoscope, no, I was just enjoying the differences so much in this play of what is called a fever or an infection. And then, so these things can happen. You might start to delight in what we are calling the universe.

Yes, look but don't hold on. Yes, yes, okay. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, so grateful. Thank you.

Say, you were going to—what was that? Were you saying something else and stopped yourself?

Oh yeah, I was wondering if this video would be available, if you post this later, if it will be available to re-watch.

All of the videos, all of the open Satsangs are posted on YouTube. They'll be on YouTube soon.

Okay, thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Very good. Okay, there's something on the chat and then we go back to the hands. Okay, there's more than something. One says, 'Namaste. Last time you said that we don't have to worry about anything because the guru takes care of it. I would like to leave all my worries about getting it fully or not at your feet.' Very good, very good. Thank you very much. 'I am so grateful to life for having you in my life. God bless you.' Thank you, thank you, thank you. God bless you too. Because I've seen that—I used to say actually initially when I started sharing Satsang, maybe six years ago, that those who are seeking God are much happier than those who are seeking money or relationships and things like this. But over the years, having met so many spiritual seekers, I don't make that report anymore. I've seen as much suffering there in spiritual seekers as much as there is in those who are seeking worldly or phenomenal things, you see? So seeking itself is suffering. This clinging, grasping, trying to get itself is a huge suffering, you see? So when you say that, 'I'm handing over this worry about getting it fully or not to the master,' it is very good. Even that is the master's problem. Even that is the master's problem. I'm very happy, very happy. Very good. In your inner space of openness, emptiness, allowing, acceptance. So I must—I feel like I want to clarify a bit. I hope my instruction was not heard as if, 'Oh, you don't need to now inquire or you don't need to meditate or whatever spiritual practices you enjoy to do,' or just remain open and empty or surrender, you see? Whatever the feeling is, that can continue to happen. I'm just saying that from your inner openness, from your open acceptance, instead of the constant sticky grasping and needing, you see? Just from that openness, all of these outward seeming activities can continue to happen if that is how consciousness builds it. But we are no longer obsessive about getting it, you see? Because it's not getting something. Freedom is not getting something; it's just a simple recognition of that which always is and always was. So you're definitely not going to get anything, and yet it is the greatest gift that you are going to get. So I'm very happy, I'm very happy with this. Okay, next one says, 'Feeling a shared heart space with you, Father. Thank you, Mother, with no you or me there.' Yes, nobody there or here. That's very good. That's a quotable quote. Next one says, 'Father, I sometimes feel that tough decisions are avoided based on the excuse that the decision maker does not exist, but the person comes back into play in easier, more enjoyable situations.' Very good. Well spotted, you see? This is very good. So these are all variants of what I call half-surrender. What happens is that based on our conditioning, based on our pool of vasanas, what can happen is that some have a half-surrender, which means that when they feel like the outcome was good, they feel like, 'I did a good job. Try it,' you see? But when the outcome doesn't seem to be so good, or it seems to be bad, they say, 'God, why you always do this to me?' You see? So good stuff I do, bad stuff God does, you see? There's also the reverse, you see? If anything goes wrong, you feel exceedingly guilty and, 'I always mess it up. I didn't leave it to God,' you see? 'I messed it up.' And things that go well, 'Thank you, God,' you see? This is maybe a sweeter one, but still half-surrender. To come to this recognition that the doer and experiencer are one and the same Being, you see? The Beingness and the idea of the individual decision maker, the individual doer, is just a fallacy. That recognition, that is the important recognition. Everything flows smoothly from that space, from that acceptance, from that openness. So we cannot fool ourselves with halfway surrenders, you see? Sometimes we surrender with one eye open, I call it. 'I surrender to you and all is yours, all is yours, Father.' Many tell me like this also. And that surrender lasts only till things seem to be going well, you see? The minute things don't go well according to our mind, it's just like, 'Father, I surrendered to you, look at what you've done.' So then that is not surrender. We have to surrender our expectations of the outcome as well. So then let's repeat this question: 'I sometimes feel like the tough decisions are avoided based on the excuse that the decision maker does not exist.' Okay, so this is a bit nuanced, so I'm going to share a bit about this. Many times we notice that we are no longer relying on our mental guidance so much, you see? We're relying more on an intuitive feeling, you see? But if you burden this intuitive feeling with the notion of right or wrong, then it's no longer intuition. If you trust intuition, if you trust the Satguru's presence, then right or wrong doesn't matter. It is the will of the Satguru, you see? Then it is Guruji's problem, whatever is playing out. Many times what happens is that you may feel like you went to your intuition and there is no guidance which is arising, and in that time you can even trust that, you see? Trust that guidance of no guidance. That's also guidance. Sometimes you may notice that you feel like you have to take a choice between left or right and you can't, like the intuition is not saying left or right, you see? Then you're just standing still, and to the world you may look foolish. To the world you may look foolish and you may feel so diffident because you're feeling like, 'I've just become so powerless now,' or something like this. But all of this is not needed. You can trust your intuition even in the intuitive silence, you see? Even that is your guidance. So if your feet are not moving themselves, if you feel like you need some guidance, your intuition is always available. And even when it is silent, then the silence itself is the guidance. So don't look at the silence of the Master, the silence of the divine presence within you, as something like a reproachment or the Master has abandoned you or forsaken you or something like that. Yeah, so all these are various nuances, the plays that the mind can play with regards to this apparent choice-making, decision-making. And next one says, 'And what about when one seems to keep finding obstacles in the dynamic life? Example, like not finding...'

Life itself is the guidance, so don't look at the silence of the Master, the silence of the divine presence within you, as something like a reproachment, or that the Master has abandoned you or forsaken you or something like that. So all these are various nuances, the plays that the mind can play with regards to this apparent choice-making and decision-making.

And the next one says: 'And what about when one seems to keep finding obstacles in the dynamic life? Example: like not finding a job, not finding a complete flow in life. Appreciate your pointings.' You see, now what happens many times—and this is not a complete answer, we'll try to capture it from a few perspectives—what happens many times is, have you seen those who are looking for flow? They have stopped flowing because they're just looking for flow. You see, if we keep looking for flow, flow, flow, then we are no longer flowing. So sometimes these spiritual concepts come in our way, actually many, many times. So they must be like pointers; we notice and then we allow them to assimilate. But if you make a thing out of them, like 'I must find this flow'—you see, like a few weeks ago somebody came and they said that for many years I was sitting in silence and things were quite peaceful, but then the life situation was such that I needed to make some money. Now I got a job quite easily, but in the job I'm not finding a great joy or enjoyment and things like that.

So it just came from here to say: don't find enjoyment. You know, it's just something that is happening for money. So it's giving you the money; that is the deal. So don't look for flow in it or enjoyment in it. And that looking, by that, it becomes again that really sticky desperation or grasping. You see, when we are looking, we have an idea about what is and how it should be. You see, and then we are comparing what is playing out against that benchmark, and there's always bound to be trouble there. You see, what is is flow, no matter what that 'what is' is. What is is the flow, is the dynamic flow. Nothing can stop the dynamic flow of this 'what is.' Resisting or seemingly impeding the flow is only an idea about what should be, not what is. What is is never impeded itself. You see, the resistance is only when we have an idea: 'This is what flow is.'

Now if you say everything is flow, then how will you not flow? A waking state is there, the display of light and sound starts; nothing you can do to stop it. You see, even if you close your eyes and say, 'Okay, I'm going to hide in my bed, close my eyes,' you'll still experience something. You'll still experience some sounds. You might want to hide away in a cave, but the mind will show you immediate reason. So you cannot stop this flow of this play of consciousness. This Leela will keep flowing. You see, now if you have an idea of what should be, then you can label things: 'Ah, this is flowing very well, this is not flowing so well.' You see, but all of these need thought. All of these need a belief system; it needs notions. So let go of these notions. Let go of this notion and then you'll notice that beautiful, beautifully complete flow. Every moment fresh God is here. Every moment fresh God, fully alive.

You see, we miss the presence of God in all this light and sound. You see, all this light and sound is just the presence of God. We miss all of that because we compare it against some ideas of what our experience of God should be like. So even the dynamic manifest state is also God. So don't miss this fresh God and don't set expectations for it. It should be like this, it should not be like this. And that is the master trick, the master key. You see, because then no matter what the situation is like, if you don't have an expectation, then you go into that situation like an infant. An infant never says, 'Oh, my life is not flowing,' or a one-year-old never says, 'My life is flowing, not flowing, it's going well, it's not going well.' They cry when they cry, they laugh when they laugh. It's all fine. They're not making judgments about what life is or what life is like. You see, so just leave that playground of the intellect which has judgment. Meet life independent of that. Let it twitter around; it will twitter around a bit, but you don't rely so much on its judgments of what your life is like.

Meet it now. Taste your presence now. Taste the presence of the manifest now. Such beautiful color, such beautiful light, such beautiful sound, such beautiful togetherness in this. Beings from all over the world, we're gathering in these strange mediums and we're able to communicate. We miss all of these things because we have an idea of what life should be. People are getting awakened through technology. We are sharing Satsang which used to be in remote forests, you see, especially direct Satsang, so rare it used to be. Now we can just put on the computer and here you go. You see, we're missing all this marvelous play because you have an idea of what my perfect life should be. And nobody comes to that idea because even if you get what you wanted, by then the mind has already changed its mind and said, 'Oh, but plus this, I forgot to mention.' You'll be happy if you had that also. Listen, so like Guruji says, the stomach of this beast is never full. So don't oppress life in this way by judging it and saying, 'You must be like this and you must not be like this.' Life will be life. It doesn't care about your judgments anyway. It will flow the way it has to. You see, so in your attempt to control life, to make sense of life, you're just troubling yourself. You're troubling yourself. So like Guruji says, the highest mantra is 'Thank you.' Whatever comes, thank you. Life comes and kicks you in the face, thank you. And all my love and blessings for that.

Then the next one says: 'Also the primal fear you spoke about earlier, does everyone on the path to freedom need to meet it?' No, I won't say that. Consciousness is ever that limiting where it says 'everyone.' You see, many times when we say 'everyone,' it's just to make the conversation simpler. So speaking broadly, we can say yes, everyone, but really, because you're asking specifically, no. Because you might have—you will, in fact, have—a completely unique outer experience of this freedom. You see, many times what can happen is you may see like this one sitting on the hot seat and something happening with him, and you may feel like, 'Until that happens to me, until then I'm not free.' But the approach actually should be the opposite. The approach would be: okay, that one got taken by that expression, so that is not going to happen here. What is the fresh thing that can happen here? Then that opens us for fresh experiences. But if we keep saying that it has to be like that or it has to be like this, you see, then we put ourselves in a box.

So I'm waiting to hear your report on how consciousness played it out in your case. It doesn't have to be like that. And yet I have to say that is a very, very, very common experience. And there are books about this. You see, like in India we have the Katha Upanishad, which is a beautiful book about a dialogue with death. A dialogue with death, because death comes. And in that book, what happens is death comes and then actually it's a representation of the mind saying, 'Why do you want freedom? Why do you want to go beyond life and death? I will give you the best things that are available here. I will give you the most money, the best relationships, the best healthy body, everything, a big palace.' Death speaks like that. But these are the trump cards of the mind, saying, 'I give you a good life, you stop this nonsense. Do all of this worldly stuff and let go of Satsang, anything like that.' He'll come and present these options to you because you are experiencing this wobbly necessity of the unknown.

Because we have learned ever since we were very young, we've been taught and we have learned to live inside these notional constructs of time and space, of up and down, of left and right, of today and tomorrow. When you're empty of all of that, empty of all of that in that divine instant, you see, in that divine instant, then the fear can be really, really strong because all the construction goes to waste. You see, all the construction of this our seeming world comes to nothingness. And that is a very, very primal taste of your own reality. And as a defense against that primal taste of your own reality, then the mind will come and offer to you all that it has to offer in the world. But with the Master's grace, you will say, 'No, I pass.' You see, pass. So what did this child say? 'I say anything that you offer today, Mr. Death, anything that you offer today, Mr. Death, is it out of your clutches? Will it not experience that?' And Death said, 'No.' He said, 'Then that is pointless to me. That is pointless to me. I don't want anything which is going to eventually die anyway.'

Okay, just a couple of more chat messages and then we go to the hands. 'There is a desire here, Father, that is coming up almost every day to hear the knowing of the heart in your voice, like a guided meditation. Placing this at your feet as it is not going away.' Well, in a way it is; they must already be there in my voice somewhere in the transcripts. But I have a sense of what you're saying. I'm going to look at the book again and based on your request, see if something like this flows from here. But thank you, thank you for bringing this to my attention. Let's see, let's see how it goes.

Then: 'Dear Father, for any emotion like fear, anger, etc., the real problem is the commentator.' Yes, very good. 'But there is a feeling that if I let go of the checker guy, I will be passive. I will take no action and things will be the same.' Now, all of spirituality—I want to use this question to tell you about this—all of spirituality is about one thing: it is about changing your central character in your story. You see, who is the central character in your story? The main protagonist, the hero or heroine, who is that main character? You see, we know it is this one body, one as I call it, bucket of flesh and blood. But because we have this mere bucket as a main character, that is not so much fun. It's bound to be a life full of suffering and limitation and failure, and some small wins, some small failures. All of these things then become representations as if they mean something.

Now, as we start to loosen up on that central character, there are some who feel like they want to make the whole world the central character. They want to be in service to the world, so they don't care what happens. So some have this feeling in their heart that they want to just be; they're tired of this egoistic way of living, just catering to this—you know, how much does this one have? And they say, 'I want to be in service to the world.' So then what happens is that the central character in their story changes. It goes from this one; it could be helping young children or helping some other subjugated section of society in some way or the other. So then it becomes more about that, and then you've seen what happens with them. They don't care so much. The body is tired. You see, sometimes what happens is that if you're a soldier and you're in love with your country, then you're willing to give up this one just so that the country is in service. So that is also a form of spirituality, isn't it? Because the central character has changed even there. It's like devotion, same thing for devotion. You come across a Master or you come across an aspect of consciousness that you really adore—you see, I mean it could be Krishna, it could be Ram, it could be any aspect that you really adore—and that becomes central. Now what happens with all of these things I've seen in the world is that many times the central character remains the same, which is 'me.' You see, and then we expect that God or Guru or spirituality or any of these things...

It's like devotion. Same thing for devotion: you come across a master or you come across an aspect of consciousness that you really adore. You see? I mean, it could be Krishna, it could be Ram, it could be any aspect that you really adore, you see, and that becomes central. Now, what happens with all of these things I've seen in the world is that many times the central character remains the same, which is 'me', you see? And then we expect that God or guru or spirituality or any of these things should help this 'me', you see? Should help this 'me'. So, Ram is great because I love Ram, you see? So actually, still I see... ah, no, no, Shiva is the best because Shiva, you see, I love Shiva, he's helped me so much. So again, the central character in who is the God, actually, is me. My master is great because he helped me. My master is not so great anymore because he is not helping me, you see? So then again, our master really is still 'me'. We may feel like my master is that, you see?

So really, coming to spirituality or coming to God or coming to devotion or coming to service is to really let go of this central representation, you see, which has been fed to us spoonful by spoonful ever since we are young children. It is fed to us: 'me' is what is important. This is me, this is me, this is good for me, this is bad for me. You know, we've catered into this 'me', expecting that this 'me' one day will reach godliness. And what happens is that that is the ultimate aspiration of the ego, you see: for this 'me' to become immortal. And we feel like we can co-opt the master or representation of gods or the world or our family or whatever those things are, and they should help me aspire to that fantastical representation we have of 'me', you see?

And most, 99.9 percent of spiritual seekers get stuck in this trap where the central protagonist is still the 'me'. And we are just still sitting around picking and choosing: this is good for me, this is bad for me, me, me, me, me. And we don't realize—and we might have this idea that we are very devotional, very spiritual, very service-oriented or something like that—but remember that if it is at the root of it, and you can be honest with yourself in your heart, you know what is true, you see. In your heart, you know what is true. If you notice that it is still about 'me', offer it. Offer it up, surrender it up. And if you feel like you're not of that devotional temperament, you can't surrender it up, then inquire: who is this 'me'? Who am I? You see?

These two pointings are more than enough, more than enough, you see. Be honest with yourself first in your heart. See, you don't need somebody from outside, you don't need a master to come and chop your head or something like that, but in your heart, you know what is true. If all your spiritual games are still about me, me, me, then inquire: who is this 'me'? Who am I? You see? If you feel inquiry is too heavy or you don't enjoy it so much, surrender it. Let it go. Whatever has to happen with 'me', leave it to the master, leave it to God, whatever you feel you're devoted to. Two very simple ways. Actually, they are one; they're not two, you see, but it can seem like two ways. It's fine. So just like that. But this is a very good check, and in a way, it is answering a lot of the questions that have come up today, you see, because everybody somewhere or the other is hoping that my spirituality is going to help 'me'.

And I can go on saying 'truth for truth's sake', 'God for God's sake', you see, but really we have to really look at it. If the job of spirituality is not to help 'me', these two, like Guruji says very beautifully: rid me of me. And all of you, already when we come to satsang, have already signed the contract, you see? I have already signed the contract with each of you that you made that request: rid me of me. And I'm operating under that pretext, you see. As many times I'll ask: so who should be helped when you come to satsang? Who is the one we are looking to help, you see? And then what happens is if you feel like some balm has been given one day, you feel like, 'Ah, master really helped me', you see. And if instead of the balm it is like a chopping, and you feel like, 'You didn't really help me anymore, I don't know if I'm in the right place, I'm not so resonating today'.

Well, no, you can just go and say Advaita. So although technology has helped us where we can have this beautiful conversation, it's also got its downside, which is that that which used to be so rare and so precious now has become so much more widely available. So our mind can just keep jumping around from place to place. The minute this 'me' is put under the spotlight, put under the hammer a bit, something starts to scream, something starts to want to escape. So why am I saying all of this? Not to make any of you feel guilty or unworthy or anything like that. It is just so that you can notice this. Even if you ask yourself for one instant, 'Who am I trying to help?', that itself is great, auspicious. Because many will be coming to satsang trying to help the fake 'me', and satsang is to rid me of this 'me'. Then we are working in counter-purposes. You're working, and then that contradiction will lead to even greater suffering.

So first clarify to yourself: what are you here for? Are you looking as a limited person, as a 'me', for that which you were not finding so easily in the world, you see? And now you're looking at spirituality as an escape, as a simple cheat code to get those things but without all that hard work and effort and trouble? It is not there for that. It is not there for that. It is not even here to make you a better person. There are many programs out there which can help you become a better person. It is to let go of the false. It is to let go of that which is ephemeral, that which will come and go. And that is why I keep asking you to check on this 'checker guy'. The checker guy will keep representing 'me' who's progressing or not progressing spiritually, you see. Who is that one who's progressing or not progressing? Who is that one?

I'm inviting you home. Inviting you home to where we are one, where there are no two. And all of these things which may bother you so much today, you will see them as nothing, you see? Tiny flickers of energy. So you will come to a beautiful openness. And if you don't come to a beautiful openness, then you may come to that which seemed like a beautiful... it may not seem beautiful then, but a beautiful helplessness, you see? A beautiful helplessness where, like Guru says, you run out of moves. Because many times it does happen that, like it happened when I was reading 'I Am That', I was so stuck because I was in my heart so connected, I felt like this one is sharing the truth, but in my mind I was so confused because I couldn't figure what is this 'I am', you see? So I couldn't leave and I couldn't meet, and it squeezed something so strongly out of me. Just squeezed all that frustration and irritation and anger.

So it does happen many times that we come to a master and we feel like this master is going to help 'me', until you recognize his true intention. His true intention is like: get out of the way, you know? Get out of the way. I want to meet God. I want to meet you. I want to meet God. That's what the master is saying. You, you are still here? Don't you leave? I want to meet God, you see? Like that. So this feeling that we may have, or this expectation that we may have, that we come to a master so that he can help 'me'... when we realize that really it is not about 'me', the master doesn't care about 'me' at all, that is a very, very tough realization to come to, you see. The master loves your reality, not your falseness, you see? Not your facade. The master does not love your mask. The master loves what you are, because that's what the master is.

So that is the crunch moment. The moment when you realize that he or she, the master—and whatever that expression of the master may be—is not interested in catering to this 'me'. They are only interested in finding some ways where you will let go. How can I meet you without you? How can I meet you without you, you see? That is always looking for that sliver of the entry point. How can I meet you so that I can bypass your mind? How can I meet you empty of this? Okay, some hands have been up for a long time, although some chat messages are still there. Let's look at some of the questions. Praharsh can come first. Oh, okay, one second. Ah, now you will be able to unmute yourself.

We don't hear you so well, my dear. Try again. Better now? Yes, yes. Okay. I don't really have any questions, as usual. I've been attending for a long time now, but I don't usually get any questions and just keep waiting. I don't know what I'm waiting for, just waiting. But today I thought maybe I'll just, you know, put my hand up so that I might get some questions. But there you are. Okay, good, good. Yes, so nothing much. I love you. No questions. I'll probably keep raising hands in all the other upcoming satsangs. I might get some questions. I'll just wait. Thank you.

It's good to hear a report like that. And this same... because I noticed that you're speaking from a true space of openness at this moment. So sometimes what happens is you come up on the hot seat and your question is already gone, or there was never a question, and then we feel compelled that I have to think and come up with something. So you don't have to do that. This is fine. All that is going on, I mean, that is... and that's there, it's not so strong that you have to play into that. No? Yes, it is very good. Very good. Good. Thank you. Okay, Leon. Leon and I haven't met for a while. We can hear Leon a bit.

Namaste. Yeah, so as I'm here in satsang, I was feeling like this strong vasana coming. It is completely seen, but somehow it takes some space in the body-mind. And it has to do with this sense of responsibility and finding like my place in the world and in society and show and all of that. Yes, it's seen that it has nothing to do with me, but somehow it's still there and it has been playing out for a time. And there's this longing to put it at your feet and that it burns completely, because somehow it puts this formlessness into a shape in the dynamic life that it's not needed also. Yes, thank you. Thank you for sharing that report, my dear.

Now what I want you to do is also check a little bit with me and see: when you say this strong work, job, responsibility, all of this is coming, can you describe it to me more in terms of... do you notice it as a contraction? What exactly is happening?

Yes, there's sometimes a periodic contraction in the body, like in the solar plexus, that sometimes comes. And it also feels like some kind of memory, like in the family mind or some kind of thing like that. But yes, somehow it sometimes comes like waves of identification with these ideas about 'what are you going to do?' and all of that.

I understand. So what I've noticed is—then you can also check—what I've noticed is that the constriction itself, you see, it can feel a bit like this, but what we usually struggle with is that the constriction seems to become a lot heavier because it comes with a story or the labels or the identifications, you see? All our attachments. The mind starts using this, you see, to really use this. Because this in itself is not such a bad thing, is not so difficult to deal with ever. Like a child can have pain, a child can have colic pain, you see, and the pain comes and it goes. So the child, when the pain is there, is crying, and the pain goes away, it's completely fine and happy again, you see? But what happens because we have lost that innocence is that when this comes, when the message comes, then this may also go away sometimes, but we are still caught up in the message of it, you see? 'But I have to really change my life. What's going to happen to my family? You know, why can't I get a job?' All of these can linger. And so...

Colic pain, you see, and the pain comes and it goes. So, but the child, when the pain is there, is crying, and the pain goes away, it's completely fine and happy again, you see. But what happens because we have lost that innocence is that when this comes, when the message comes, then this may also go away sometimes, but we are still caught up in the message of it, you see. 'But I have to really change my life. What's going to happen to my family? You know, why can't I get a job?' All of these can linger, and so this is called suffering. The pure perception of this shakiness is not suffering, you see. When we mix it up with our construct, our mental constructs and ideas about what this is, that is when suffering actually happens.

Because what happens is when you are just perceiving this, you're meeting it as pure being. You're not meeting it as an individual, you see. But when you buy into the limited idea about yourself which the mind is selling to you, then it seems like you have to deal with this as a body-mind, as an individual, as something limited, you see. Now, what you can do is whenever you have some time available, you could just look at any sensation which is appearing in the body, you see. Look at any sensation which is appearing and look at the space in which the sensation arises. Now, this looking is not the usual looking, which you will understand as you look, you see.

Then you will see that the space, the beingness in which this perception seems to be arising, that actually has no boundary. It has no limitation. It has no sensation. The mind will convince you that the sensations of the body make a boundary to you, but you will notice that this is not true because you will see that these sensations that we call the body are also in the unlimited being. Yes? So, as you get used to this, you will find that you start meeting everything that appears like space, you see. You are the space in which all of these things are appearing. In fact, you are that which is even aware of this space, but it's okay provisionally to say you are the space, you see.

So, you are the space in which all of this arises. So, when this comes, you will not be so shaken from your truth by the invitations of the mind. As you notice this more and more, it will become a natural part of your existence that everything that is coming—all the perceptions, including this voice and everything that you hear—everything is happening in the space of your existence and you're meeting everything as this space. So, you'll get so used to it that way, even when the so-called negative emotions or sensations or conditionings will come, you will not be shaken so easily by the mind saying, 'No, no, but you are not the space. You are just a person, a mere body-mind, you see. How will you deal with this situation?' So, in this way, you will learn how to rest more and more in your openness, and all of these that we are calling strong vasanas, these will become just very, very light, feather-light, feather-light.

Yes, yes. This space, it's clear right now, but somehow, at least in the past, through activity or somehow, the attention gets pulled again in that form.

So, this is the—let me see if I can give this advice in a simple way. What happens is that many times we don't take the medicine which is needed now because we remember that in the past we forgot to take the medicine, you see. So, the mind will play this game with you. It will say, 'Ah, it's fine now, you see, but what about tomorrow? Because last time also I was space, but then this happened,' you see. So, you lost it already, you know, because you're already in time again. So, time and space actually arise in this space which you notice just now, you see. You notice that the space which you came to was broader than the space of this space and the space of time. All of these are just arising within this space, you see.

But the mind plays a trick with you saying, 'Yes, yes, you've had this before, but you will forget.' No, when the time is right... so then you see, it's basically a way for you to forget to take your medicine, a way for you to not take your medicine now. The mind plays this trick by telling you what you will forget in the future or you forgot in the past, you see. It doesn't matter what has happened in the past or what will happen in the future. Your job is to take your medicine now. Yes? And that way, then, your—it's like your spiritual muscles will become stronger. Then what you'll see is that you'll see that one or two times, even if you forget—because everybody forgets, even the masters forget once in a while, you see—when you forget, you will not judge yourself so heartily. It'll last a few moments, it'll be over. You will not make a report card about yourself based on those momentary things.

So, don't fall into the mind's trick of time, because it will always come in these times and say, 'But you can't, you are not good at holding on to this, you see. You will do it well now, you're so free now, but what will happen after satsang?' It will keep inviting you to these things, you see. But you have just one job in every moment. You just have to have one job, which is to be open and empty in this moment. That's it. You don't have to think about past, future, anything. So, that's a very simple trick I have for you because the minute we put this pristine experience of pure spaciousness—if you put that in the middle of a time-bound story as if it belongs to a person—then we've already lost it, isn't it? Like if you put it in the temporal sequence of yesterday and tomorrow and 'Yes, yes, I've had it in the past, no, no, but how will I hold on to this?' then it's already gone, actually. We've already come to the limited representation, you see.

So, all you have to do is those moments where the messing up happens—the messing up happens, that's okay, we can't do anything about that—but those moments where the messing up is not happening, then let's not mess those up by thinking about the messing up. You get what I'm saying? Yes? Then it becomes easier and easier. Yes, yes. Like Bhagavan used to talk about this beautiful state of manonasa, no? The manonasa means that it is the destruction of the mind, the dissolution of the mind. Now, many of the spiritual seekers who are reading Bhagavan then feel like, 'But I'm not getting to manonasa. I'm having moments of silence, but when will I have the destruction of the mind?' this kind of thing. And that itself is preventing the manonasa. Thinking about manonasa is preventing manonasa from happening. Very good, very good. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Okay, Vinnie has her hand up for quite some time. You can come, my dear. Really, I don't hear you. That's it. What's happening with Vinnie? Are you trying to speak, my dear, but we can't hear you? Or what is going on? Don't hear you. Did you change something? Can you remove that thing and try? You have some headphone or something connected? Can you try without that? No, no. I mean, is it connected to the computer or what is the current...? You just look at your settings once more and we come back to you in a minute. So, just see if that works because it was working well last time. In the meanwhile, can I hear what Madelina has to say and then we come back to Vinnie?

Hello. Hi. Thank you. Thank you for the satsang and everything. It is related to me, so it's very appreciated and comes in a very good time. Now, one of the struggles I have, when you spoke to Leanne about the space, my mind says to me, 'I can't reach the space,' and it gets really physical and my body constrains and there are lots of forces and energies that prevent me from reaching that space. And yeah.

Shall we—shall we do it together? Let's see what happens here. So, I will just guide you through it and you tell me whatever is happening. Don't worry about anything. Just follow the instruction like a little child and then we see what happened. So, this voice is being heard by you, no? You're hearing this voice now. Yeah? So, is it—if I were to ask you, is it being heard inside you or outside you, this voice that you hear that is coming? I'll just mute everyone—not those, you'll have to unmute once more. I'll help you with that. Yeah, it should work now. So, this voice and everything else actually that you also experienced, where is the experience of all of this happening?

You can hear me still? Ah, no, no, sorry, I muted the wrong one. Now I—no, I was kidding you, but I couldn't you... I hear the voice from outside.

Yes, from outside it's coming to you and then you hear right now. So, where does it come to when it comes to you? Where is that 'you' that it comes to?

I think it comes to my mind and which persists my senses.

I see, I see. So, let's slow down a little more also and just don't use anything that you have learnt in the past, like what the mind is, none of that. It's very simple. Like for children, this exercise is very, very simple. Right now, you're hearing these words. You don't know any concept like brain, mind, none of that. Just from your experience, you have to say: the experience of these words, where is that happening? Does it feel like the experience is happening inside you or outside you?

Inside.

Yes, you see. So, this experience of this voice is inside you, and you will notice that every experience is that way, you see. Now, there where that experience is being perceived, you see, that is what we are calling the space. Like the thought happens in the same space. If you were to imagine a tree, it will be in the same space, you see. Whatever you perceive, it is within your own potential to experience, isn't it? I'm sorry to use that big word, but within your own potential to be able to have an experience that we call consciousness, within that all of this is being perceived. Okay? We can make it simpler if it's confusing, right?

A good question comes to my mind now. Why do I have to close my eyes to be able to perceive this space?

You don't have to close your eyes. You don't have to close your eyes. Even this, even this, if you see a face in front of you, where is that face being experienced? You may have a sense of distance that, 'Yeah, it is far from me,' because you have defined the boundary of 'me' as this body. But if you don't have that definition for a moment and you just check, where is this face actually being perceived? Where is that perception happening?

Okay, so it's in this place.

You see, every experience, everything that you notice, everything that your attention can go to, you will notice that is happening within you. Not within you as a person, not within you as a 'me,' but within you as being. We can call it as consciousness.

That's a great evolution. Everything that happens in me happens in you as well.

Ah, we'll come to that. We'll come to that in a moment. Let's—because this itself is a great revelation and I want you to savor it for a moment before we come to resolving that, you see. Because this itself is so beautiful. You start to notice that all these perceptions, everything that I am able to notice, my attention can go to, is this happening within me? And you don't have to use the label 'me.' You don't have to say, 'This is me, this is not me.' You don't have to start labeling things. Just in your pure perception, you will notice. You will notice. And also, you can notice what happens, what is the difference when your eyes close and when your eyes open, you see. And your eyes closed, because of the absence of this seeming external visual stimuli, sometimes it seems easier to fathom like an inner space. But actually, with the opening of the eyes, nothing is happening to your inner space. It is just that there is a lot more content, a lot more stimulus which is showing up for you, but it's happening in the same space, actually.

That's true. Yeah, so easy. It's very beautiful.

Yes, it's completely fine here, completely. So, you can—you can see like this now. If you were to create now two within the space, you see, if you had to create... like you were saying, don't worry, is your child there now? The second one? It's okay, it's okay. I have two as well. I have two as well. It's completely fine, so don't worry. So, if you were...

There is a lot more content, a lot more stimulus which is showing up for you, but it's happening in the same space, actually. That's true, yeah. So, so easy. It's very beautiful. Yes, it's completely fine here, completely. So you can see like this now. If you were to create now two within the space, you see, if you had to create—like you were saying, don't worry, is your child there now? The second one? It's okay, it's okay. I have two as well. I have two as well. It's completely fine, so don't worry. So, if you were to create an idea of two now in this one space of being, in one space of perception, how would you do that? Is it possible to do it without a thought, a label? Just try it. Just try it. Try to create separation or division, you see, without using any thought.

I don't think I can without relating to the forms.

Exactly, exactly. So that is why name and form in Indian spirituality is called Maya. It's called the illusion, you see. So if you don't say, if you don't construct 'me,' you cannot construct 'another,' you see. So there is nothing organically or naturally in this realm of perception which says that this perception is me and that perception is not me. That is not natural. We have learned to make that distinction, you see. And talking about children, I use this story often. Like when I was teaching my son, 'Ah, this is your head.' You see, my son, 'This is your head.' Where is your head? Many times he would point at my head and say, 'No, no, no, wrong. This is my head, that is your head.' So we taught the children like that, and we were taught this way. And that's fine because as parents we are teaching them; that's a different role. That's not satsang, you see.

But now we are deconstructing all of that and seeing what is naturally present in what is the manifest aspect of what is, and what is it that we need to have these notional constructs, you see. And you are saying that unless I relate to a particular set of perceptions and say that this is me, you see, till then I cannot invent another. You see, I cannot make an invention of another unless I've determined which set of perceptions is me. And this labeling, this making distinctions, is where this separation comes from, you see.

So sometimes I say that the ego is a 3D ego. There are three D's in this ego. The first D is Duality. Duality is this 'me' and 'other,' you see, 'me' and 'another.' So that is D. Once we make this duality, then what happens is that because we start to take ourselves as a limited construct, we open the door to Desire, which means because I am so limited, I could want something that could make me bigger or more complete or better, you see. So then we say, 'Ah, if I had that, if I had the perfect partner, if I had a million dollars, if I had a very healthy body,' something like that, then I could become bigger, more complete, something like this. And these are very popular notions in the world, isn't it? So that is the start of desire.

But if that duality never happened, that you were not discriminating, making no distinctions, then you could not say 'I want this' because already it is showing up in your perceptions as you, you see, in your own being. So you could not say 'I want' unless you had this, you see, unless you had this distinction of duality. Then what happens is that we say, 'I want this. I am incomplete. I am this limited object. If only I had this, then I would be complete,' you see. And the aversion is another form of desire itself. It says, 'Oh, if this would not show up, then it would be better for me.' These kind of ideas can be there.

And then what happens is we invent the third D, which is, since I am this limited object and I have a desire or an aversion for something, how do I do it so that I can attain it? So what is the Doership? You see, that's the third D of doership. What do I need to do to attain my desire? You see, and we look at this whole game of spirituality also in the same way. So we go, 'Me, me, me, me, me, me. I tried this, it doesn't work for me. It doesn't work for me.' It is a 'for me.' Only freedom will work for me. And many are seeking freedom, you see. Many are seeking enlightenment within the construct of this 'me.'

And this is what we were talking about a few minutes ago, that when the rubber hits the road really, are you in this so that you can give this 'me' this gift of freedom, or are you willing to let go of all that this 'me' notion stands for? You see, that is the real crunch time. Are you truly willing to let go of distinctions? You see, once you start to see that there is no real reason for making them except to suffer, you see. What gift does this distinction give you? It only gives you the gift of suffering, you see. Otherwise, so beautifully we live our life like beautiful birds, you know, like beautiful children. That's why Jesus said only the children can come to the Kingdom of Heaven. Yeah.

So what is that innocence? What is that innocence? Because children don't make that distinction. They're not looking at separation as a reality. We've learned how to do this. And once you start to see for yourself that this bodily boundary which I took to be my boundary—and I got into this mistaken belief that my being is contained in these constructs or these sensations called the body—you see, this is a mistaken belief. Once you start to see that these body sensations, you see, all of these are contained in the same space, my space of perception, my space of being, then you start to see that to let go of this separation, to let go of this duality, becomes a lot easier.

Oh, to meet yourself even in this way, even in this way as just the space in which all of this is happening, you see, is a very beautiful revolution. And then very, very simply, very organically, very naturally, you will notice that you are aware even of this beingness, this ground of perception. You are aware of all of it, you see. And this awareness is beyond even this space, is untouched even by the rising and the dissolution of this space of being, of perception. And this is already our experience. And that's why we all can say, 'I went to sleep, I woke up,' you see, because in the sleep state even the space of being, the space of perception, dissolves in its own source, which is the Absolute, which is the Self. But I feel like enough dose for today. Let's not overdo the medicine.

Yeah, I was just... a thought came into my mind that this is why one of the children is not... she has severe intellectual disabilities and she is non-verbal. Sometimes if I'm quiet, I know what's happening in her, in her face.

You will become more and more intuitive. You become more and more intuitive, you see. As you allow yourself to remain as this space, then you'll notice that your reliance is not so much on these mental constructs and notions, but on a deeper guidance, that which we call our intuitive guidance. It's very cool. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay, I feel like just resting my throat for a few minutes and drinking some water, and then we'll continue the conversation in a moment. Love you too. Thank you.

Okay, let's try now. Vinnie, you want to try once more? You can unmute yourself. No, now both of us are clicking on the button at the same time. There you go. Now try. I still don't hear you. I see your lips moving but no. You type something. I'm very bad at sign language. Oh, 28 new messages. No chance. Wow. No, you can write to me something, my dear, and we'll find a way to reply. Leon is done. Marine, is that how you pronounce, Marine? How do you say? Want to say? Balochi, namaste.

How do you pronounce your name? Sorry, it's good. Sometimes it feels like you hear it well and you ask the mouth to reproduce and it reproduces something else. This is not used to the expression. Yeah, it's from the Netherlands, the name. Netherlands.

I see. Yes, yes. Okay, let's see if I can find your video as well. Ah, can you say something? You should pop up now.

Yeah, yeah, this is me.

Ah, there you are. Good, good, good. You can see me?

Yes, thank you. Very, very blessed and grateful to be in your vision and your hearing right now. Yeah, thank you, thank you. Just to... yeah, this is... you've been very much with me for some time already, and so much gratitude and light that you shine into my life. So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. And actually now in this, I could feel the opportunity of raising my hand and actually be in your direct darshan. And a lot of palpitations were coming up, so I could feel, okay, it's good to click and click, click. Now I'm here.

Hey, good, very good. Want to give any report about what's happening with you?

In this moment there's just a lot of joy and I'm very happy with these interactions. Very sweet, very nice, very open, very empty, very happy. Yeah, I was actually... you know, there's two boys also under my wings and a third child coming soon. So my partner and the little one in the belly are resting here now right next to me. And it was very... you really touched me what you said, the role of a parent is different, you know, it's not satsang, it's a different role, which is clear, you know, obviously. But it's still, it really touched me and made a big smile on my face to hear that.

Yeah, and consciousness in its supreme intelligence is completely, completely able to play those roles as they are meant to be played. So we can trust our intuition, we can trust consciousness, we can trust God to play the best parent as well. And that's why many times when I'm speaking to my children even now, they'll be like, 'Oh, but in satsang you're very different.' Sometimes you have to tell them, 'No, you get your act together and you know, hit the books' or something like that, and they'll be like, 'But you were smiling so much in the satsang just now.' And on the other side, of course, there's also the challenge of... sometimes my kids have actually been very sweet, but sometimes they just feel like, 'Why can't you just be a normal dad, you know? Why can't you just be a regular dad?'

But mostly they've been quite, quite understanding, quite... and the minute I start to say something that sounds even remotely like satsang, they switch off. They just switch off. 'We don't want to hear none of that.' But it's my hope that one day they'll be a bit more open to that.

Yeah, my boys are four and two now, and I just see that it's a huge blessing, you know, to be able to relive this experience through their perception if, you know, in those moments that I'm actually surrendering to that and not in my own whatever, to really see the world through a two-year-old's eyes. It's very early as well.

It's a very good experiment just to see how such a great intelligence can, you know, can run this life without being, without being oppressed by this mind. Because the mind's number one trump card in a way is to say that you can't do without me, you see. 'You will be lost without me.' But when we look at children, when we look at birds, when we look at plants, you see such beautiful expressions of consciousness playing out without needing to think and plan so much. So it's very beautiful.

Now, the good thing I have to say also in this life has been that both the kids, they love Guruji so much. So they feel like they have a master. Every one of their passwords—I shouldn't be saying this—but all their passwords have Guruji's name in it somewhere or the other and some comments. So they have a deep love for Guruji. So I can... and that is fine by me because obviously they need to feel like I am their father and they have a master who is Guruji, so that is perfectly fine. It's very beautiful that they got touched by Guruji's presence when they were quite young, both of them. And I enjoy very much because just last year Guruji came and he stayed in our house also for a bit, and they have their own relationship with him, you know. They'll joke around and they'll complain about each other to him, and it's a very, very sweet, sweet relationship. Very grateful for that. Very good. But I'm very happy to hear you because I sense a lot of openness. In fact, all of you today, something happened, somebody did some magic and all the—

I enjoy very much because just last year Guruji came and he stayed in our house also for a bit, and they have their own relationship with him, you know. They'll joke around and they'll complain about each other to him, and it's a very, very sweet, sweet relationship. Very grateful for that. Very good. But I'm very happy to hear you because I sense a lot of openness. In fact, all of you today, something happened—somebody did some magic—and all the moods have been just so light and beautiful and open. I'm very happy, very happy.

So am I. No, thanks. Congratulations on your children and thank you. All my presence to you and your partner and to yourself. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Okay, let's see if I have some energy to read these. I'm just going to pick, okay? And pick means I'm just going to allow intuition to do it. One says: 'Namaste beloved, such a joy to be with you. Would love to say hello on video but don't seem to have the raise hand option on my phone.' Ah, Jenny, you can come, my dear. I'll just unmute you. So, grace and embrace. Yeah, just here in the back of the deck. Love from Chad. I'm going to just open your video if I can. Somehow I'm not able to do that, so you keep talking, you'll show up.

Yeah, just so much love from here and, um, yeah, Sachin just mentioned you yesterday and I just felt such a strong longing to see you and be in your presence. And then I checked in today, so it's been such a treat to listen to everybody and to you.

Just wonderful to have you here. Thank you for bringing the physical manifestation of Sahaja also to the satsang.

Yes, yes. We're hoping actually that when my son's college resumes in America, we're hoping that all of us can go to drop in, but mostly the accuser. Let's see how it plays out. Thank you, thank you. Such a joy.

Same, same, and love you so much. So, should we end on that beautiful note? Something really burning somewhere? Okay, let's look at this question. My name is—I won't take the name—'I have lived at Monte Sahaja for two years and my Master is Mooji Baba. Always spontaneously, I met a being last year in Rishikesh. She speaks Gujarati and little English. She is saying she has been fully enlightened. I have been living at her house now for five months. I feel doubts if she is fully enlightened or maybe very mature in spirituality and awakened, but maybe not fully enlightened. I have told her about these doubts. I trust Guruji fully and I trust you. Can you please give me some advice about this?'

Yes. So, with Guruji, I can tell you—and I have to say this, and it may sound like a biased report—but freedom is guaranteed. If you're open to him, then he will take away all that is false. Now, I don't want to compare that with anybody else. There are many beings who are enlightened and things, but you don't need to make a comparison. Or maybe I'm misunderstanding the question. But if there is a comparison there, you don't need to worry. Guruji is, in an expression, you just have to sit in front of him and sit on the hot seat, and with one glance—with one glance—he can, with his grace, present that which is real to this one who was seeking for so many years before I met him. Then what doubt, what concern can we have about our freedom with him? So, you don't have to be at all concerned. Just... I sat in front of him like a little child because life has squeezed most of the arrogance out of this one, and just in that looking at this beautiful glance, my idea of separation melted away. So, what I'm saying simply is that if there's an opportunity for you to be in Sahaja, you must take it. You must take it.

Then this is a nice question. I may not have so much strength to go full on at it, but let's see what happens. 'Dear Father, thanks for all the blessings and grace. Can you please talk about the sense of presence and absolute awareness? The sense of presence seems to exist only in the waking and dream state, hence it is dependent on sensations, perceptions, thoughts, etc.'

Well, you also can have some, let's call them meditative experiences, where just the presence, just a sliver of beingness, without the world, without even breath sometimes. So, I would not say that it is dependent on sensations, perceptions, thoughts, etc. I would say that if we are to make that relationship, we have to say that sensations, perceptions, and thoughts are dependent on that being, that sense of beingness.

Then you say also: 'The sense of presence seems very bright and aware and unmissable, but awareness in sleep stage seems more subtle.' Not just subtle; it is completely unfathomable to the mind, you see, because it's absent of all perception, absent of anything that we can hold on to. So it's more than subtle, actually. You see, only in your intuitive heart can you recognize your absolute Self. There is nothing there which the mind can decipher, conceptualize, visualize, you see? Even 'nothing' is not it. It's more nothing than nothing.

That is why direct satsang is, in a way, not for everyone, because most can get very frustrated with this because it's like, 'What is he talking about?' If you try to meet it through the mind or the intellect, how can that fathom that true emptiness or true nothingness of the Absolute? It is impossible. So that everything-nothing of your reality is completely beyond anything that the mind or intellect can conceptualize, and anything that in your imagination, in even consciousness's ability to project things—it cannot project this. That is why it is so much beyond our imagination as well. Not even subtle. You cannot even say subtle.

How do you know that you are aware of perception? You just do. You see? But that 'just do' is intuitive insight. Which is the perception of this hand? How do you know that it is you? This 'you,' you only know through yourself, you see? Only through yourself. These words won't make sense to the mind. So that self-knowing, self-awareness... that is what... because 'you just do' is not attractive to the mind as a spiritual term. That's why. How do you know you are awareness? You just do. Then you say, 'Okay, this is not a great satsang.' But if we say we know through intuitive insight, then that sounds better. 'Ah, okay, I'm getting somewhere.' But it's so, so, so direct. That's why I keep clicking. No, thank you. It's so direct, so direct that there is not even time or space for subtlety.

So don't go imagining any super subtle sort of imagination. It is not going to be captured in that. And please definitely don't imagine some dark empty room. Maybe in satsang you ask them what awareness is, and they say, 'Oh, just a huge space which is all dark.' But what is the big deal then? You go to a dark room, shut all the curtains, don't put on any light—you have that experience. That is not awareness. What witness is even that? So don't fall into any of these traps of subtlety or any sort of visualization of awareness. It is just not possible, you see.

Do you need to experience that dark empty room before you can say you are aware of the perception of this hand? How do you know it is you? You just do. It's instant, you see? It's instant. It doesn't need a mechanism. It doesn't need a medium. That simple self-knowledge, self-awareness. Okay. All right. That feels very good. Beautiful satsang. Thank you so much, everyone. And I can play the DJ now if you have some requests. Let's play something from Pranam today.

You say 'I am.' I say 'I am.' This 'I am' is not a person. It is consciousness. It is a godly presence inside each one. We must not use it foolishly. When you say 'I remember God,' it is the God principle in you that is speaking. You must come to know it as not personal but impersonal, uncreated, unborn, imperishable. It is the original one. To know this is to find freedom of God. To not know this is to be asleep. Respect, honor, value this name that God gave you, the name 'I am.' It is truth, it is love, it is consciousness, it is God. Remember this deep within your being and be happy. Wake up, wake up.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Father. Thank you for the joyful moment. Thank you, thank you, thank you.