I Give You the Greatest Gift - 16th February 2018
Saar (Essence)
Ananta highlights the mind's tendency to maintain control through 'checking' and spiritual report cards even after surrender. He guides seekers to let go of all notions and crutches to recognize their natural, effortless awareness.
Surrender is often conditional; we surrender doership but still keep an eye on how God is doing the job.
You don't need your report card; this natural, effortless awareness needs no crutches or interpretations.
Soon it will seem more challenging to pose as if you are not this reality than to simply be it.
intimate
Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.
Explore some trick of the mind when the periphery is a little bit... the conversations we had the last couple of days, the content of the conversation is somewhat like this: 'But Ananta, if I let go of all notions, then without having any notion, will I continue to be a student? Without having any notion, can I continue to be a good wife?' And of course, the answer is all things are completely possible in consciousness. So there is no reason why consciousness cannot enact the role of being a good student, right? That is what, that is how consciousness wants to play. But notice the... so can't recreate from the mind itself. 'I am letting go of notions' is actually 'I'm letting go of every notion except the notion of this question: Will I be this? Will I be that?' Oh no, that is still a notion.
Then I was saying that Ashtavakra talks about this fear that would come to him as he was coming to the recognition of his reality. This fear, this notion would come to him, but you just become like a beggar on the streets. You will become the hunchback like Quasimodo and you will be that human on the street. This kind of notion. So he talks about how these were let go of. So when I'm talking about the checker, I'd be very, very subtle. Yeah, do you have to do any opening of that? You see, I'm still gonna keep one eye on you to check how it is going. And that is how this manifestation of the mind, the rule of the mind, with the form of not closing so much as the doer, so much as now the checker. Checker.
So now that I'm letting go of notions, what is... how is it gonna happen for me? Or what is happening to me? With these also, they are notions. Whatever I remember, I was speaking to someone in the Sangha and she said, 'Ananta, I've been a psychotherapist for over 10 years and I'm afraid to let go because I want to... I fear that I won't be on time. And I've never missed an appointment in 15 years. I'm so good at going to the gym and so good at keeping up with what my patients need. Or I'm afraid this letting go...' So I told her that the fear is that if you let go, that God cannot run this life, He is going to make a mess of it. She... you know what is what she said the next day? She said, 'I'm very upset with you because actually I let go of everything and for the first time in 15 years, I was late to an appointment by four minutes.' So God did make a mess of it!
So this is what I mean by the checker. 'Let go' is you mostly let go of notions, but you're still checking on how God is doing it. Let go in surrender and all the doing, but we're still increasing the experience worship to be ours. This is what I usually call half-surrender. Surrendered the doership, but we've surrendered it under the conditions. Like we've been hearing in Satsang the last few weeks, that 'I trust you, I trust you Guru, I trust you, but make sure it goes by my way.' Really, the words are not like this, but the intent behind the surrender seems to be like that. To be notionlessly actually means to just be in the simple, effortless being of your existence. Effortlessly aware of 'I am' without any translation, interpretation, or judgment.
That is why absolute is enough to say: don't go with any interpretation or judgment. Because the first part is effortless. To be with also is not true because you are that. So just to be that simple awareness which is aware even of your own existence is what is just undeniable and unavoidable. It just is that way. It is only our belief in concepts, only our identification with ideas, that makes it feel like there is some... it should seem like there is some separation. Then I notice the tricks of the mind will change and you... they are changing. Going from 'What do I have to do? What is my desire?' to now that 'I've given up, I have let go of these ideas about myself, how am I doing? How is God treating me?' But these are some notions. Even ideas about 'Am I able to remain notionless?' is a notion. How much illness about it yesterday? You don't need that answer. You don't need that question. What is now is independent of yesterday. Yesterday came and went in this now. This now remains untouched by it.
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So all crutches are getting thrown away now. It's like Mooji's beautiful video where he says, 'You don't need more sticks.' Like he actually stood up in the middle of Satsang. He says, 'You come to me pretending as if you need these sticks. I'm gonna kick that stick.' That Mooji posting on YouTube, it is a very nice one. I recommend everyone. It's very alive and very animated and yet so, so disappointing to this very simple... you don't need no crutches, no, no idea. And you definitely don't need your report card. It is troubling yourself with these reports about yourself. This natural effortless awareness just is. It means... it needs no crutches for that which is aware of this being, this light of this world.
That is why I'm a strange one, because I give you the greatest gift. I give you the greatest gift, but funnily, when you get that gift, you'll say, 'But I always had this.' This is my key: just to see what you always had, what you always were, and you always will be. And soon enough, what will seem more challenging is to try and pose as if you are not that. How many of you are ready? It is starting to come. You see, this many of you, many times you feel like, 'Today I have to come up and speak to Father about something.' Then you come up and I can see the effort you have to make to pick up all that idea that you wanted to discuss because automatically it is actually falling away. So you recognize the naturalness of this, recognizing how much energy is gone in the plea of the mind.