I - Am - Here Needs No Concept to Just Be - April 5th 2016

What is here before the conclusion? What is here in spite of all of this? Is that changing? Why is it that we cannot truly say 'I am not'? Authentically. You can say it as a mental conclusion of some sort, but because there is something here that is experienced—your own presence—this that is here, is it relying on any idea to sustain itself? All our stories, do they really matter to this presence that is here? Don't be afraid to be without a story. Don't be afraid to become this nobody. And I'm not going to let you use Advaita itself to sustain this one that is false. Don't know even this. Anything you understood mentally, don't know it. Don't refer to the mind for any of this. The truth is inescapable. It is here right now. You are that. You are that pretending to be not that, pretending to want to get to that. Either that, or you are that pretending to be not that, pretending to have got that. So you are that, it is pretending to be not that and pretending to want to get that; or you are that, pretending to be not that and pretending to have got that. I can't believe I made it this complicated.

So why can't we stop the pretending itself? Suppose we took off the pretending. Every time that we try to convince anyone else that 'I got it,' it is only an attempt to convince yourself you got it. And I remember this, this sort of feeling used to be here, wanting to try and convince people, but now I find no joy in any of that. It's so, so, so simple actually. Just most naturally you are here, or no? Are you here? As what? Here as what? Are you here? What are the options? Okay, let's go through, let's make this multiple choice so it's easier. Are you here as a person? Cannot be, because every day almost I ask you, 'Show me the person,' and you don't find. Then you cannot be here as a person. Are you here as presence? Must be. A scary teacher would give me an F-minus or something. What else is here besides the presence? You see, 'I am here'—that itself describes it completely. And 'I am' is here. Okay, you said 'no' and 'is' already there. Here we go again.

Who is here? Body is here, you can say like that. Body is here. Okay, whose body is it? Are you the body? If you truly believe that you are just the body, then you would not come here. There's nothing for the body here, simple. If you just believe that you are the body, then you would not be here because you're not here for freedom for the body. There must already be the sense that 'I am not this that is made up of all the food and liquids that I have consumed.' Already the sense is there that I cannot just be made up of the food I've eaten. And actually, if it was just that, life would be very simple. Then no running after freedom, no running after money, no running after relationship, no running after health of the body also. There must be already a sense that I am something else other than the body. Who is this one then? What do we do? We check for that one which our name refers to. Where is this? Where is the Prana? Where is the Zen? Where is it? Not body. Where is this one? If the label were just a name for the body, then you would never say that 'I have these goals and ambitions for myself, I want to get freedom.' So this name belongs to who, actually? Is there any evidence of the existence of this one which is called by the name? Is there a Deva here? Is there a Tomo?

So at least can we make a deal today where we say, until we find any evidence of the existence of this entity which is being called by my name, till I find one shred of evidence about it, till then I will not believe in the existence of it? This much is a fair deal. What do we say? We are only saying till you find this entity, at least till then don't believe in it. Till we find the Loch Ness Monster, let's not believe in it. If one day it comes that it is there, we'll believe. Isn't that the scientific way? The logical way? So body is kept aside, this entity not found, so that is kept aside. But by keeping the entity aside, did I stop being? Did I stop existing? Still here. All concepts of myself have been kept aside and yet I still remain. Yes? So you see that that which I am is not a conceptual, made-up, believed-in entity. And this I-am-ness that remains needs no concept to just be.

So very safely, at least in satsang, you can keep all these concepts aside and then it becomes a true exploration. See, when we are looking together instead of trying to understand, understand, understand—it's not a classroom in that way. We kept all concepts aside, we kept all body sensations aside, and we said, 'I still remain. I exist. I am.' Who? Not with me? Not with me? Everyone with me now? Is there anything personal about this presence? You must check for ourselves. This being that is here, what's personal about it? Does it have a plan for the future? Is it regretting something from the past? Does it have any pride about anything? Is it attached to something? Is it avoiding anything? Or is it just being? Are you not just being right now effortlessly? Are you working towards being? Are you just being? For the entire so-called spiritual journey is encapsulated in what we have together explored today: coming to this discovery that beingness is just here. And it is what I am. Just being. Everything else is just a concept.

The best news, best news ever, is that there is nothing that can appear, nothing you can do, nothing that can happen that can have any effect, any impact on this being that you most naturally are. Nothing has ever happened to you. Being is always just being. And yet it has the power to pretend as if something is happening to me. This is the power of belief. For now, which temple, mosque, church, Gurudwara do I need to go to to find this God which is always just here? What sadhana, programs, kriyas, penance should I do? At best, what they can do is open my eyes to that which is just here. How many steps do I need to take to come to this that I already am? How much time does it need to find the now?

Am I unaware of my existence? Do I not know that I am? At what distance is this knowingness from me? Is there an 'I' in relation to this knowing, this awareness, which is aware even of my own existence, of my own being? Who had to tell me that I exist? That I knew it—is it not naturally known? How do I know that I am aware? Is this knowingness separate from the awareness? Is there a knowingness and an awareness? What story can you have? What can happen to you? Is there some proclamation needed now from here? Is there a report card of failure required now? Don't be in a rush to go back to concepts. Let's meet here as one. And any idea you pick up now is an invitation to separation. Don't accept this invitation. Here there is no want, there is no lack.

And this, does it really end? Does it have a beginning? Can any concept, any word, come close to this? Is it possible to lose yourself in this play? I know that the mind is calling whatever strength it can muster. Can it really pull you away? Are you going to send the mind an invitation to this party we are having? Because here, two is a crowd, you see. Are you going to represent what it is saying now as yourself? What a trick, what a trick it must be—the divine trick, the Maya. And just this measly voice can appear and you, the Supreme Lord, pretend to wear this mask and represent yourself with these words. How are you going to clean up? And I'm open to all your questions, just don't expect me to believe it to be real. All because this disservice I cannot do. I cannot believe that you are something other than I am.

The real question is, what are you going to do? So what if the response that came from here, the first response to all questions that came from here, was: 'Who are you pretending to be right now?' Would that be okay? I feel very few questions would come up. Sometimes I really feel like I don't need to say a single word more. I'm done for this life. And yet life surprises me. This one hour, what if we just had like this: the questioner would introduce themselves by saying, 'Right now I'm believing myself to be this,' and that in itself would be the answer actually. Now, are you going to present yourself as one who still not got it, or as one who definitely got it? Are you going to pretend to say, 'Yes, yes, yes, I know all that you're saying is true, but I still feel... I don't feel the bliss, I don't feel the joy'? But I didn't say a single thing about bliss or joy.

And the worst—okay, I'll say it since I started—and the worst is you say, 'Yes, yes, I follow everything you're saying, but you know, my mind... my mind is still saying this. So what should I do now with the mind?' I cannot fix the mind. I cannot change your mind. There's one who says—I'm not sure how to pronounce the name—says, 'Master, I want to join, please guide me.' You can join. Maybe if you're on Facebook you can see the link to the hangout over there, or maybe Jai can guide you, she can send you an email about the link. You can join. I cannot change your mind. I cannot purify your mind. I cannot give you a certain type of thoughts. But I do feel that if you follow what is being spoken, then you will not believe these thoughts. You will not find a sense of truth in them. You will not find meaning in that.

If there's a sense of confusion, that means that there is a sense of misidentification. You have identified yourself to be something that doesn't exist, and that is bound to be confusing. What you're ultimately saying is that 'I believe that I am an alien and now I must have a happy life. I must have a happy life as an alien.' The premise itself is wrong. The premise of a person looking for a happy life itself is wrong actually. What you're saying is that 'I am a Martian, help me get to Earth.' How do I unravel it for you? It's actually like this, it is very precise. 'I'm a person, help me get free' is exactly like saying 'I'm a Martian, help me get to Earth.' And I say, 'But you are free.' 'It doesn't feel like I'm on Earth. My mind is telling me I'm still on Mars. What do I do?' Then I say, 'Look, look where you are. Look, look at what is here now. Don't go with the mind, don't go with your feelings.' 'No, but you know, on Earth I know I would feel joy.' See, it's not true.

What to do with this Martian mind? What to do? Nothing. Forget about it. 'Can't you change it for me?' No. So how to help this Martian get to Earth? You can only work on the belief that you are a Martian, isn't it? Therefore we must... that's why in Bhagavan's question 'Who am I?', that 'I am a person'—and then is the looking for the truth of what I really am. Are we open to this question? Let me say, let's look for the Martian together. We can't find it. We look for the person together. We can't find it. So all that is needed is not to listen to the Martian voice. Sounds crazy, no? Actually a very fair representation of the spiritual search: helping the non-existent Martian get to Earth. Which voice are you going to speak? Martian?