Head Empty, Heart Full - 24th November 2023

So what happens when we let go of relying on perception and concepts or knowledge? Are we lost? That is the mind's sphere. It tells us that 'Without me you are lost, without me you are nobody, without me you cannot live.' I played that scene from the movie Revolver the other day, and this was the same scare tactics the mind was using. What really happens when you let go of your mind? What can you say about yourself? You can see that I am here. This I am is a holy presence. This I am is His presence, and this is the most sublime gift that we have received. This I-am-ness is God's presence. And it is so beautiful because if it was just phenomenal, then you would have just idolized it and made it a form. If it was purely intuitive and non-phenomenal, then the mind would have said, 'That is too far, I can't find anything like that, I can't grasp it.' But because this I-am-ness is at the cusp of phenomena and non-phenomena, it is both phenomenal and non-phenomenal. That is why you can reach it, you can reach out to it, you can meet it, and also like a portal within ineffable reality, it leads you to your ultimate Self.

What greater gift, what can be more sublime than this, that you can find this primordial vibration? It is God's presence and you can be with that. And when you are with that, it is that which carries you and carries your life. Not a single worry you can have. So it is quite literal that God's presence is here. Let's not make it poetic or metaphorical. I'm telling you something which is absolutely true, more true than the computer in front of you or the faces that you are seeing. All the stuff that you perceive is changing and is ultimately going to die. This is the realm of death. Nothing is so important here. All our attachments, everything is ultimately going to go away. But reality, God's presence, is the only eternal life, is the only eternal truth. And the good thing is that we are not in a speculative environment about this anymore. We are not sitting and speculating saying, 'Ah, maybe it is like that, maybe God can be found, it is said that God can be found.' I'm telling you that this is true. So either I am deluded or a fool or a con artist, or it is true. And that is for you to determine from your heart.

The truth of God's presence here is the one undeniable thing. All the rest, all the greatest stupidities and foolishness and errors and sins and everything may have happened from here, but I'm telling you that God's presence is fully, fully palpable here and tangible here. Why am I telling you this? Because if it can happen for a foolish one like this one, it can definitely happen for such sincere, devoted seekers of God like yourself. And it will, if you sincerely turn towards Him with everything that you believe you have at your disposal. If you don't become smart but you become innocent, if you don't use tactics but you use integrity with all your heart, if you call out to God to help you, there is no way that He will not. He is your very being. The only living light you have ever met is Him.

But the nature of Maya is such—and just before, Dr. Ji was saying this—that the nature of Maya is first that you will block the truth and then will give you an alternative version of it. It'll block that which is the most obvious presence here and then gives you an alternative version of yourself and your reality. And it says, 'Okay, you are this bundle of flesh and blood. If only you could have this partner, if only you could have these things, then you would really be complete.' Has that happened to any of us? Has that happened to anyone that we know, except for that period of awe which could last a week or two where we feel like, 'Oh, I'm so complete because of this'? And what happens for most of us is that that which we have chased in the hope of completion, that itself we are now trying to make palatable in our life, acceptable in our life. What kind of life is that?

So we must turn away from this way of living, turn away from the way of the head. Actually, the other day I had this feeling that if I had to tell a child about this, what would I say? What is the primary pointing in satsang? If I could encapsulate it, how would I tell a child? And it came to me, and it still didn't sound very simple, so I'll try to find a simpler way even. But right now, provisionally, what I'm saying simply is: keep your head empty, which means allow everything there to come and go. Head empty, heart full of as much love as you can muster for God. Even if you believe that you can't do it, all mental ideas may block you and say love has to come, all that—just love God. Don't think, just love God with all your heart. Eyes, turn them inwards towards His presence—not physically, but just don't bother so much about what is appearing in front of you. Be more concerned about the light within, the holiness within. And your whole posture, your whole body should be prostrate in service to God. That is a simple way of putting what I'm saying in satsang: head empty, heart full, eyes inward, and body bowed down. Live like this.

But how do we live? We live with a head full of knowledge. 'I know this, this is right, this is wrong, I'm very sure about this and I can conclude this.' So we know so much in my head. No, keep it empty. You don't know, I don't know. Our hearts are clouded by anger and resentment and hatred; where is the space to love God? Our eyes, in combination with our mind, always grasping, grasping—'What's in it for me? What's in it for me? How does this help me?' And servitude? Forget about it. We want service from God instead of being in service to God. So we must reverse our posture in every way, and then the life becomes a sacred life, a holy life, a worthy life to be a true temple of God. So the only purpose of our life then is to be a true temple of God. Don't fall into the trap of saying that there is nobody here to have a purpose, because the one that says that there's nobody here to have a purpose, this is for that one.

So what is happening exactly? What am I trying to say? I'm saying that through knowledge, through true self-knowledge, you recognize that there is nobody here. This is true, that there is no individual entity here, there is no 'me'; it is unreal. We recognize this directly, intuitively, as direct as it can be, as truthfully as it can be, that my reality is that of pure awareness within which even Consciousness takes birth. So this Consciousness, this God presence, also appears within my birthing ground. I am the Ultimate Reality. This is true. But it is also true that in this Maya, in spite of this clarity of insight for the greatest sages who had this insight as well, there is a 'me who remains'. I borrow that term from somewhere; I'll share in a moment. But this 'me who remains' must become now just a servant of God. And the one who doesn't want that, who doesn't like the idea that there is a 'me who remains', who wants to hold on to an absolute position—see, that is the 'me' that I'm talking about. You'll find a voice in your head strongly disagreeing with what I'm saying; that one is the one that I'm talking about.

Just as much it is true that there is a 'me' who remains—I borrow that term from somewhere, I'll share in a moment—but this 'me' who remains must become now just a servant of God. And the one who doesn't want that, who doesn't like the idea that there is a 'me' who remains, who wants to hold on to an absolute position, see, that is the 'me' that I'm talking about. You'll find a voice in your head strongly disagreeing with what I'm saying; that one is the one that I'm talking about.

So this achintya, which means incomprehensible distinction/non-distinction—if you were to categorize what type of spirituality we talk about, this is what it is. And all the greatest sages have told us, Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi has told us, that this bird has two wings: one is Jnana and the other is Bhakti. So in Jnana, you recognize that there is only one, you see? Then should we just chop off the other wing and throw it away? The Bhakti, for whom then? Shankara himself, who has written the most absolute Advaita, the purest Advaita commentaries on so many of the Upanishads and the Bhagavad Gita itself, has been responsible for building so many temples, writing so many beautiful prayers to God, to Devi, and to others. Why would he do that?

Guruji has said that we must always keep our head bowed down. To whom? For what? You see, so this is something which is beyond our intellect, and never get into the arrogance that you think you understand. It has to only be met in the heart. And don't get into any categorization. Don't say, 'Yes, yes, the absolute reality is that I am That, but secondarily, the relative reality is in the world because I have to function, then my servitude is my secondary, just nominal reality.' No, I would say keep that as your first one, actually. That'll keep pride in check. Don't believe that you can understand. That's why the achintya part—the achintya part means that you cannot comprehend this. You cannot comprehend this. Achintya is incomprehensible, ineffable also. Bheda is distinction; abheda is non-distinction.

So just like the Buddhist concept of the fifth corner of the room, our reality is that of being the Absolute as well as just an unworthy, foolish beggar servant of God. So if you look at Jnana, it is intuitive insight. Most people are even confused about Jnana; they think it is just conceptual knowledge. So if you read a lot of scriptures and understand them, they think that is Jnana Yoga. It really isn't. Jnana Yoga is to find Jnana through self-knowledge, through your intuitive insight, through the Satguru presence within you. That is why the process of contemplation in Advaita Vedanta is to hear the pointers of the master and then to contemplate them in the no-mind.

How do you contemplate in the no-mind? So when you ask the question 'Who am I?' or 'Was I born?' or 'Can I stop being?' or 'Am I aware now?'—use any of these questions. And if you're just going to sit and think about them, you see, then you will just get bookish, conceptual, learned answers. Then that is meaningless. The point is to carry the intention of the question 'Who am I?' and stay in the no-mind so that the answer is available to you intuitively.

So this absolute reality, which is purely intuitive because it is purely non-phenomenal—see, it is awareness. It's purely intuitive, isn't it? Yeah, because there are no other means to grasp the non-phenomenal that we have. Perception is only for phenomena; thinking is only for concepts. So the absolute reality, being completely non-phenomenal, can be recognized only intuitively. Intuitively, we can only invite intuition; we cannot work it or do it. We can only invite it in the no-mind. So the point of the inquiry or the invitation or any of the pointers in Satsang is to use the pointers, remain in the no-mind, and allow our intuition to bring us the recognition of the truth.

When this intuition is recognized, it is seen that there is no individual 'me'. You recognize purely intuitively that you are this pure awareness within, which is a boundless being. It is a boundless being, and that being has a presence which we can find. So if we are not able to remain in the no-mind, we can do it the other way, which is to first turn to God, find His holy presence within ourselves. Then in the light of the presence itself, that which is non-phenomenal will reveal itself. So grasp His scent, grasp His perfume right now. You can find it. He's here. You know He's here in your heart. You know He's here. Grasp just that knowledge which may seem absurd to your mind. Don't worry, keep your mind aside. Just smell for Him. His fragrance is there as His presence. Meet Him this way.

If even this seems too much, then find some love in your heart, you see? Make it unconditional love, without conditions. That will lead you to the presence. Remain with that love. So as this insight becomes clear, it is not necessary that the mind loses all of its power. And because it doesn't lose all of its abilities to tempt us, you see, there is some tiny part of us which is still attracted to its proposals and temptations. So that one is the 'me' that remains. It's not a real physical entity; it is just—I'm just explaining it almost metaphorically.

So if you use love, our love for God is an anchor, and stay with that anchor. So just to put it simply: just love God. If you just love God, then you will find that the mind's temptations are not that attractive. Just love God. So that anchors you to His presence very beautifully, and such a beautiful gift. But even then, your mind will say, 'What about my responsibilities? What should I do next? I can't just live on love.' All this kind of nonsense it will come and tell you. So then what should you do? That question is answered by servitude. What should you do? Be in servitude to God.

And even this is very powerful because how to be in service to God? Just to have an idea, 'Okay, I'm now—my life is in service to God,' and then you go around just presuming what God would want and just do that? Is that to live in the hukum? To live in servitude is to live in the command of God. So when Nanak said, which is his final statement when all questions about how to remain free from delusion, free from Maya, and live in the truth—he said, 'Follow His command.' And that is his pointing to us. And this is in all cultures.

Whether you look at Hanuman—why is Hanuman so red? Hanuman Ji is so red because he was completely available, empty of himself, and made his life completely available for whatever Ram wanted him to do. So Ram said, 'Jump over this ocean and send a message to Sita.' He didn't say how, when, why, nothing. He just jumped, you see? He said, 'Go from Lanka, go to the north of India and pick up this mountain and bring it to me,' or 'Find a medicine for my brother and bring it to me.' Hanuman Ji couldn't figure out which one was which, so he got the whole mountain and came.

Whether you look at that, whether you look at the story of Abraham, who was probably given the most difficult command that is possible for any of us to receive in the human condition—if you look at Islam, if you look at Sikhism, all of the core constructs are around following the will of God. How to follow the will of God is to be empty of ourselves and allow His presence to move us or to guide us. Initially, it may seem like that guider part is a bit abstract; you can't seem to—He doesn't seem to answer you. It may seem like that. But then remain empty and allow Him to move you. As you get used to remaining empty like this, then you'll start to understand the smell of His guidance more and more. And then you will be able to follow the guidance of your heart, which is the guidance from His presence.

And to be a true servant of God, we must have deep faith. Otherwise, it is not possible to serve that which somewhere we feel like is still—'I don't know if it is true or not.' No, building the—yes, thank you. So if you still have a doubt, you see, all this talk of God is fine, but when push comes to shove and if I had to bet my whole life on His reality, maybe I'll hedge a bit and say, 'Maybe, could be,' you see? And we live like that. Our life is representative of that, including mine. It is representative of that, that we don't really live as if God is real. We don't live like God is here. We would live more like that, sadly, if there was a perception of God sitting in front of us.

So if He came in the form of Krishna, Ram, Jesus, and He sat in front of us on the couch, you know, we would sit at His feet and then follow His command because we still value that which is perceived more than that which we have an insight about. And that is the fundamental crux of the Vedantic project: to recognize that which is intuitive. Your intuitive finding of God's presence is higher than your physical, perceptual finding of God. So faith is to rely on your intuitive insight more than what your senses, perception, and mind is telling you. Faith is not blind belief; it has nothing to do with belief. It is to be deeply intuitive every step of the way; it is to bet your life on it. So that then it moves away from just being a lip-service, armchair spirituality. When you bet your life on it—'I'm going to follow the guidance from God within my heart, come what may'—it needs a lot of faith because the world will tell you the opposite. The world will show you the opposite.

So to be truly faithful, we must be willing to bet our life on this reality. And I would strongly encourage all of you to do it. Bet your life on this. See, just one life, what will you lose? You have so many more. It's okay. This one life, you bet on Him fully. Don't hedge your bets, don't make safety nets, don't say 'but also this, that'—just Him. That doesn't mean become a renunciate, become a sadhu, leave your families; I'm not saying any of that. I'm only saying that be guided by Him moment to moment. And then you forget and you went on your own terms, which is your mind's terms, then return as quickly as you can. That's all. That's all. Just return. Don't think about it, don't become guilty, don't become unworthy, none of that. Just return. It has to become moment to moment. It has to become lived and not just in your head.

So this is faith: to live in faith that He is real, He is here, more than if He was sitting in front of me. He is now so intimate as my very presence. How can He be closer? He's independent of the world. The world may dissolve, all my senses may stop working, but He is here. It is Him, the one. Rely on Him for everything: for comfort, for rest, for guidance, everything. So faith is very important. Humility is possibly the most important because without humility, there is no room for God in pride. Pride means 'me'. 'Me' is something, 'I am something'—that's pride. So then there is no room for Him.

Humility—and never become proud of your humility, there are so many tricks of the mind—just be simple, simple, simple. Don't need to be seen, don't need to be special, don't need to be recognized, don't need to be wise, don't need to be anything at all. Humility is also to recognize our foolishness. When God is real, how am I living? My stupidity astounds me more and more every day because He is literally here, and there are so many times that I'm off on my own trip. It is the stupidest thing. It's like Krishna is living in my living room and I'm just running about in my house doing some other things, pretending it is important.

And remember that all that I'm saying is about our internal attitude, not externally. And I only become stupid when I become proud, when I think I know. I think I know, 'This doesn't need God, I know, I know what to do, I can fix this, I can do this.' Why? God is here. He can move you, He can move me, you see? So it's very linked with faith as well, because somewhere we don't really trust our insight. You don't really have faith that He is real and He's here, because if you had that full faith, we'd just hand over, isn't it? So this classical biblical challenge of living on our own terms, eating the apple of knowledge, is very representative of the human condition. It is true for all.

Now this doesn't need God. 'I know, I know what to do. I can fix this. I can do this.' Why? God is here. He can move you, He can move me, you see? So it's very linked with faith as well, because somewhere we don't really trust our inside. You don't really have faith that He is real and He's here, because if you had that full faith, we just hand over, isn't it? So this classical biblical challenge of living on our own terms, eating the apple of knowledge, is very representative of the human condition. It is true for all of us, and because it is true for all of us, we must never become proud. Faith, humility, obedience—most of us hate that word 'obedience.' 'I came for freedom,' you say. 'Be obedient to God? What kind of freedom is that?'

And there are unfortunate brands of so-called spirituality which became popular based on this kind of false spirituality, which is that being free means you are free to do whatever your mind wants. There is nothing that the mind wants more than freedom like that. 'I want to be free to do whatever I want.' Isn't that our idea of freedom? There's only one problem: most of us don't recognize that our life is in servitude either way. Okay, it is in servitude either way. The sooner we recognize it, the better it is, because then at least we pick the right Master. Do you want to be in a mental slavery, a mental oppression? Most of us know what that looks like. I remember what that looks like. I remember the mind here was so oppressive. 'Do this like this. How could that one say this?' All this stuff. And to give that voice free reign is freedom? No, it is the height of being in a mental prison.

So to be truly free is to have the privilege of following God's will, because that will is the highest, that will is the truest. This part may not sound good, but it's not meant to; it's just meant to show us a mirror. Is there a third way? Follow the mind's will or follow God's will? Is there a third 'me' that we can find and say, 'No, no, I will be free. I am free because I follow my will'? So what we call 'my terms' is actually just the mind's terms, isn't it? So if you spot this, then you have a chance to be free from it, and you stop looking at following God's will or obedience to God as a misery. You start looking at it as a privilege, as an honor. His will is Grace, His will is peace, His will is joy. The mind's will: waves, selfish, prideful, full of guilt and resentment, full of suffering.

God's will, you said, is peace, joy. But it can also, like in the 'Bigger Servant,' you're telling us to ask for things which are not so...

Yes, but I also said that actually that is peace and that is joy. Initially, when it is burning our pride—initially when it is burning our pride—that 'me,' the world... 'Call me mud, let my children spit on me.' All of these things may seem like they're burning, you see? But what are they burning? Once you're free from that burden of pride, let all this happen in the world, but may I never forget my true position is Your servant.

I can meet it also, you know, somewhere now. I can see that if I'm living in the presence, that which seems so difficult at times...

Firstly, it's good that it's feeling difficult, because there may be some who just read it and they're like, 'Nah, it's fine,' you see? So that means that we're not yet meeting it, where we just sort of blocked it out or we just feel like, 'Oh, it's another poem I've read so many. I've read Wordsworth and all this stuff.' So it becomes just conceptual like that. Then when you really meet it and you say, 'Okay, this is literal, literal,' then it can sound stupid, it can sound irritating, it can sound like, 'Oh, my Master had a mental breakdown.' All of these things. In fact, to some that I sent it to on WhatsApp who are not coming to Satsang, they really were concerned, saying, 'Are you all right?' I said, 'Why? Is something bothering you?' I said, 'I'm so happy. I'm so happy that I'm recognizing that I am that, and also that I am a servant. And as a servant, I don't have rights. I have one job, which is to follow His will.'

In the world, anything can happen according to our ideas of good and bad, even when we are in God's will. Like, I always take your life as an example, you know, because whatever you've told me from your life, then it's easy for me to see that it's not always rosy-rosy, you know? Even then, but you never cry about it, or you never say anything negatively about it.

So because what will happen for most of you—all of you, hopefully—is that when you've found the greatest treasure, you've found the greatest treasure and it is with you palpably, then you don't bother about some small change here and there. So it's not something so special about me. Just like if you were to find the greatest treasure, even you would not bother about it. So that is my job: to lead you to that, to lead you to that discovery so that these ups and downs of life don't bother us so much, because we are so stable in our heart because of who we found here, who you found here. But all these things will happen. Maya will still be Maya, you see? Many have this idea that freedom or enlightenment just means their life becomes flowers from everywhere—income tax department saying, 'I have a bouquet for you.' All these things don't happen like that. All the roles in life still get played. But because you are on stable ground—mostly you're on stable ground—and that ground doesn't shake. That ground is always there if you turn to it and you get used to living there, then these things don't affect you so much. Even on the seeming plus side, some great thing according to the world happens, it's okay. This will also pass. This too shall pass.

What about the difference between pleasure and joy?

Pleasure and joy, okay. Pleasure is like... I would define it as something which you meet sensorily and there's a sense of phenomenal joy that may arise from that. But the joy that we are talking about is like the bhajan; there's the difference between objective sweetness and the sweetness which arises just by being in Your presence. So when you're in the presence of God, there's a certain joy, there's a certain beauty, there's a certain peace which is a different texture, a different feel than just joy because you saw a nice movie or joy because you tasted a nice sweet or something like that. So that makes you stable somewhere, and you don't have to be like a blissed-out something, you know? The joy is mostly very... that just animates in you and it's palpable, but rarely does it become over the top. Mostly in the world, when you get too much joy, like children on a sugar rush, no? Then you're just... then your friends are telling you to keep quiet and sit down because they know what's coming after that, you see? Because then the downs are also like that. But with this, it's mostly... and you'll find that even this is contagious, you see? So you come to Satsang and when we open, then we partake in each other's joy. This kind of joy we can partake in, but the other joy which is just sensory is not that valuable. So I would call that pleasure just from the world and worldly things, but true joy is from the heart.

Freedom is that detachment?

So freedom is to be independent of the world, that whatever may happen in the world, I am not dependent on it for my inner posture, my inner peace, my inner joy. In a way, you're absolutely right that that is also what you could call detachment. But detachment, in a way, can seem a bit more like aloof. Yeah, you could be outwardly seeming to be fully participative but really unaffected by things. Also, it doesn't mean that you're not compassionate now or you don't care. You care deeply. You care deeply for others and their well-being and the brothers and sisters of this world. You don't care so much about what's happening to this 'me.' That's just free. You're not shying away from things; you're not that affected in that way. Momentarily, of course we are. Sensitivity can be actually very high in the moment, but yes, it's just like things arise but they're not held on to. Like, remember you really enjoyed doing the 'fresh-fresh' exercise and we did that? Then I feel like you were able to meet what I was saying without the words, you know? That maybe was the first time, just like... so that is like a taste of the freedom that I'm talking about, because things could happen but you are just fresh-fresh like a child. Like I've taken this example of my son every evening getting colic pain and yelling out, yelling out. As a doctor, you know about how kids behave and that. But the instant it was over, he was laughing, smiling, playing with his toys. And we as parents were more concerned, like, 'Why does he cry like this?' All it becomes very moment-to-moment; it becomes very fresh and alive. So, but the word detachment itself, at least the connotation of the word detachment itself, is a bit distant or indifferent.

Hello, my dear Master. You know, I feel like you've allowed me to be able to differentiate between like what is right and what is true, you know? Because the mind is very clever and like, I really, really understand when Jesus was telling me that, you know, that of truth... I'm sorry, yes, can you hear me now? Yes. I now understand what Jesus was telling me about when he was speaking of the Spirit of Truth, you know? Because like, it cannot be conceptually understood no matter how clever you are. Like, even if you have clever intellect, it's like you can only see it in this place, this empty emptiness, the place of the Spirit that he speaks of. And it's like I'm just very grateful and feel like it's not even my work. It's like the Father already, like the tense of my human existence as all the points and every experience and every... it's like the immensity of God, you know? And when I listen to you, I just feel how fortunate I am to actually be able to see what you're speaking of and to see this thing where, like, on one end you actually feel like... because there was one time I was struggling because a little bit like when you point to like this place beyond presence, like beyond existence, because this is like a place where like there's no words, where like every movement is in... like even his body speaks and everything, but He just knows. He knows even like you say, He knows every breath and every heartbeat. Yes, feeling that is not like a localized sort of thing, is it? It's like nobody can take ownership of it, you know? It's like in this... it's like this doesn't really seem like the reality of this realm is like... it's not like it doesn't have... I don't know how to explain it, but it's not in the same way. And I'm grateful because through you, like through revealing the Spirit of Truth, you know, like even when I'm not with you like here, I still feel like your words are with me. Like sometimes I'll be like in class or like in lectures or something and I can see like sometimes they see that He is everywhere, you know? Even the Pope, I'm like, I feel... and for me it's like the... it's very difficult to judge somebody from this place because it actually feels very painful to judge someone so, like, so maybe like be negative in a way. So it's like you just feel love from like people you've never met before, all this kind of things. And although sometimes because the condition itself, like you know, like where you grew up and all these type of things sometimes come, it's like the old some sort of like... I don't know, it's like a ghostly sort of identity, but you don't know where it's from. It comes, and because you... like following your words, so I'm like able to just like take it to the Father and just like just to be like a child, you know? It's like I know... just I'm just so happy that I'm able to... that you're here, that you're able to speak these words, because I didn't really understand. I thought I understood the Spirit of Truth, but now I'm able to see, like see the Spirit of Truth. It's like just unifying.

It's like a sense of identity, but you don't know where it's from. It comes, and because you like following you, what it is... so I'm like able to just take it to the Father and just be like a child, you know? I'm just so happy that I'm able to, like, that you're here, that you're able to speak these words. Because I didn't really understand; I thought I understood the spirit of truth, but now I'm able to see the spirit of truth. It's like just unifying how it's not restricted in concepts, you know? It's not like... the Father is beyond all concepts. I just feel so fortunate, actually. I don't know, also sometimes because I was also praying one time and I would ask him, like, what if... because after this recognition and these subtleties and this peace and joy and depth, I was asking, like, what if? From this place, this realm is not... it's like you're looking from somewhere. It's not that you're cynical about it or dismissive, but it's like it's not the only reality, you know? Yeah, it's like you actually feel when you see things like arrogance, they become like childish, maybe, and all these things compared to the immensity of the Supreme. I just feel like every time and every day, I just hear your words inside and they just... I don't know, I'm just... thank you.

So good, so good, so good. And it really touches my heart every time you speak because each word you say has the fragrance of someone who is meeting with a full heart what is being pointed to in satsang and with integrity. So very, very beautiful, my child, and I'm so happy to hear you every time. And honestly, I don't feel like the spirit I'm apart from you. Bless you, bless you. All is God's grace and I am so touched. Thank you, thank you. May Grace always bless you always; may His presence always be palpable for you.

So we spoke about faith, obedience, humility; prayerfulness is very beautiful as well. Again, we may have some mental barriers to prayer. We may feel one of two things. One is that if there's only one, then who should pray to whom? And again, the answer is that this one needs to pray—the one who has the conclusion about Oneness needs to pray. And the second could be that I don't want to go to God with something specific; I want to pray only very broadly, which is very beautiful also, that you can pray for all your brothers and sisters and for the world to be peaceful. That's very nice. But if you are going to restrict your prayer to this and then spend a lot of time worrying about other things which are specific—'Yeah, I will not pray for a specific thing because, you know, I'm bigger than that'—but you spend a lot of time just worrying about things and how things will turn out and what's going to happen and things like that, then it's better that you bring those into your prayer. Instead of worry, just pray. Surrender it to God specifically.

If there is no worry, if there is no concern, then nothing to worry at all. But just make sure that you're not hiding behind some mental compartment. Also in prayer, like the one was saying, He knows every heartbeat we've ever had, every breath we've ever taken; He knows. So it is not that He hears us only during the time we make the prayer. He's our very presence. There is nothing, no one who knows us better than Him. Our mind does not know us better than Him. So nothing is hidden from Him. So prayer must be just as sincere as possible. Many times we become very Shakespearean when we pray, we become very loud when we pray; and on the other hand, sometimes we may become too frivolous or casual when we pray as well. But just sincerely. We have this privilege of communicating and hopefully coming into communion with the highest Being, the only Being, the light of all the universes. These are literal things. He is the light of this universe. Without Him, there is nothing. He is that in which nothing and something both are born, and we can commune with Him.

So we must not get into a mental pretense either way of losing integrity completely and becoming dramatic, or just making it unrealistic by sounding too casual when we are talking to the Creator, the Preserver, and the Rejuvenator of this universe. Both are filled with some lack of faith. Instead, like He's hearing these words and in fact speaking these words, then with that sincerity just offer everything up to Him. Even if it is about a specific outcome, if you are going to worry for it and ask for it from your mind and find ways to get that on your own terms later, then it's better you don't do that and just be honest in your prayer. Just this prayerfulness can bring a lot of depth to your spirituality and it will save up a lot of time away from worldly concerns and worries. Like a little child who's handed over everything to their father, our life can be lived in simplicity like that.

All of these things are the makeup of a bhakta, and you don't have to worry because I'm explaining so much. Just whatever your heart resonates with, whichever way you feel guided, the rest will come along with that. You don't have to say fifteen minutes humility, fifteen minutes faith, fifteen minutes obedience; you don't have to categorize things like that. Prayer also teaches us patience, actually, and patience is a very important attitude. All these things will come naturally. I'm just giving you the texture of the way of the heart. And in a way, it is a project we have to work at, and in another way, we just have to surrender and hand it over to God.

Yes. Like when you're talking about detachment and... what is the other one? Joy and pleasure, freedom and detachment. I'm mixing them up. Detachment and pleasure. Ah, okay. So you were saying like how if you're satiated, then you don't look for pleasure in the world. Like something beyond this is satiating, like the highest treasure, then you don't... but also I think there is a certain element of aversion also to the pleasures of the world. You want to... like that Grace photo you had, no? He might have been like, 'Huh, to be content with just this and not like pleasures of the world.' You want to get away from that kind of...

That's not what I meant when I saw this. I just felt very simply that here is someone who is grateful in spite of having a very simple meal—bread and some soup—and his scripture in front of him. And within that that God has given him, he found a way to be grateful and thank Him for that. What if our life could become like that? May we not be clamoring for more, more, and more, but be actually grateful for the fact that He's giving us our next heartbeat, our next breath, our dinner tonight. We don't have to struggle. So I felt it's a great reminder for myself to be reminded in this way that it's so important to be able to find gratitude in that which we take so much for granted, but actually is all His grace. That's what I meant. I didn't see it in some way as an aversion to the world, but meet it how you meet it because God uses all these tools in some way.

So if you feel like this is a reminder not to get caught up in some worldly troubling type stuff, that's good too. See, for a while it will seem like... like when I ask some of you to give up smoking, you see, it wasn't all easy initially. Initially you can feel like there are withdrawal symptoms; it tempts you, you want to do this thing. But now how do you feel? You feel like at least, I hope you feel like your lungs are being preserved, your body is better because of not attacking it with this stuff. So initially it may seem like you draw some boundaries. You see, like you were resisting coming to the retreat because... 'Oh, but all of you are too sattvic for me, I can't go,' something like this. But when you came, you were fine, you had fun. So you can get used to having fun in sattva. That is the difference between joy and pleasure also, in a way. The joy is just inherent in sattva somewhere.

Not that I'm ever saying to people, 'You become sattvic, you don't be,' or all that stuff. I don't use those categories usually because I don't want any of you getting guilty and then dealing with the ego. I'm just pointing directly at God's presence. So we don't have to so much categorize those things. But the joy which is just natural in God's presence is unmatched on Earth. There is nothing here that you can taste which will match this. Nothing here that you can... the highest pleasure that we can imagine, whatever things we may feel like are the best sources of joy, cannot be the moment of this primordial taste, you see. So this addiction is what I'm spreading. This also becomes like an addiction. The thing with this addiction is maybe also like other addictions: you want to just share that with everyone. Just share that you feel that your brothers and sisters are there and they are living differently without this infection of God's love, without the infection of God's joy and presence. But it's true that initially it can seem like there are withdrawal symptoms from the world, withdrawal symptoms from the Leela. And the mind will keep saying, 'But what about this? What about that?' It's like when some of you have been to silent retreats, you see the mind on the first day will just be, 'Oh, but my work, but my family, but my this, this, this.' All that will come. But the second day starts to settle; by the third day, just fine, easy. You get used to it. So it's like that. The withdrawal symptoms can seem strong initially, but once you go through them, you find a true place within yourself.

Then we go to a... after that, okay. So, because we are talking exactly what I've been feeling here, and after going back from here and after the retreat, there was as if the beggar of prayers is really very deeply... but I don't know if it just... it felt like a complete push, you know? Because there was just every line in that prayer felt like it just showed up in situations and things as pride. And obviously there was this play of guilt and failure that you've not met it because it's so potently as pride showing up, like you know, with every line, Father. Whether it was 'let your children spit on your face'... like every line I have seen in the last twenty-five days, the pride in its full glory. I mean, it was so unbearable that I wanted to come here just to... I can't bear the weight of what I was holding and walking around like, you know, Father.

It was... this itself is worth its weight in gold because most of humanity doesn't believe it's proud. Like most of us didn't believe we are proud. You just feel like, 'No, I'm not proud, I just have self-respect.' That's everybody's favorite line. Then nobody in the world is proud, actually. You see, pride is a word for an alien because nobody is proud. So this is the ability to deny that we have... because we can't really see. It's just like that statistic that ninety percent of drivers believe that they are better than at least fifty percent of the others. Everybody believes that they drive better than everybody else.

Yeah, it's like, okay, come back on track, Father. Because you earlier mentioned... because right now every word that you're saying is hitting like the wheel hitting the road. And whether it's stability that you said of God's presence being felt... so much of pride, I was shaking, shaking, shaking. I don't know, Father, if this leads to stability, but here right now feels a lot of pride that's visible.

Good. And maybe... I don't know, Father, if I'm really meeting everything that you're saying because it doesn't feel right now at the moment. Yeah, if I can meet just a small fraction of what I'm saying, then I'll be happy. So don't feel that one hundred percent or something. Just if it is burning, it is good. My worry is only when you become...

Presence being felt so much of, I was shaking, shaking, shaking. I don't know, Father, if this leads to stability, but here right now feels a lot of—right, that's visible. Good. And maybe I don't know, Father, if I'm really meeting everything that you're saying because it doesn't feel right now at the moment.

Yeah, if I can meet just a small fraction of what I'm saying, then I'll be happy. So don't feel that 100% or something. Just if it is burning, it is good. My worry is only when you become—I was saying in satsang that day—when you become too comfortable or too uncomfortable, then the mind is doing something. My job is to cook you just right in the middle. So when you become too uncomfortable, I'll reassure you and don't worry, I'll take care of you, you know, all is fine. And you become too comfortable and I'm like: What are you doing? Where's the boundary of your faith? Are you a beggar or a servant?

You know, Father, there's also maybe there's lack of discernment or I don't know. I'm asking. I can't discern, but I think he's not enjoying my jokes today. What you want to—it feels that the outer is really not affecting. Like, there's been a roller coaster in the last 25 days, like here, there, everywhere, and every possible thing which was not happening for one month. There's been socializing, there have been home festivities, everything. Like, whether it's—I went to that place, the place where the 'I' is not so—the ego part is very audible. That didn't even feel like, I don't know, Father, didn't even touch, like, you know? So this is the question, Father: it's feeling like nothing is touching me, the external, but yet a lot of stuff is revealed. So there was this—

Make it all about God now.

Yes, Father. So this is what I was getting out of what you were saying right now, that even this report or this question is also about this 'me' only who's trying to—

Don't make God about me; make me about God. So how are you serving God now? Not at all? Are you at least empty and waiting for His will to be clear? That's good. What blocks that is even our self-concern, especially our self-concern. All that is about me. But isn't that showing up and being—make it about God now. Start again. You see, the whole compass changes. A compass is so hard to point toward me. So then it's like, okay, if God is there, God, okay, how does that help me? Is my life better? You see what's happening to me? Is there upheaval? Is there stability? We quickly bring it back to 'me.' But that is because we are not living in that depth of faith. Because if God was literally, literally here, then what would you be able to say? So if this Hanuman Ji was actual Hanuman, he's sitting there now, you see? You see what I mean? This is what I mean by faith: that we still have more faith in the prakriti than the intuitive, more in the perception than the intuitive. How are we not in awe? Is it yes in wonder? In wonder and awe. I mean, something gets in the way of our faith in our own intuitive insight. Is God here now? If God is truly here now, what is there to say about me? How is that relevant or important? The mind is the 'me' machine. It cannot fathom God, so it will only report about, 'Oh, God is here, then I should be I, I.' Then again it will say 'I.' But what is your heart saying? That's why I'm saying build your permanent home in the presence of the Satguru within, in the Atma Jyoti within. It is literally a light which is beyond perception. But when you learn to rely on your intuition, then that is transformative. Then we transform from living in stale understanding to a fresh—so many of our brothers and sisters, they enjoy living in stale understanding. It's even a badge of honor. It's like, 'Oh, but some saint wrote it 5,000 years ago.' Oh, so you are living in that stale knowledge. Is fresh God not here now? I'm not putting it down, I'm just saying that we get stuck in pride about nonsensical things. But tell me about your insight, your Atma in this moment. Wouldn't that be much more exciting to hear? I have grown and you've cut—one second, hand up for a while online. Just, do you hear me well? Do you hear me? Is it frozen? Do you hear me? Do you hear me?

Yes, yes, you hear me now? Yes, yes, I hear you now. Actually, it was my connection and I felt like you were frozen too for the moment. So yes, thank you, thank you so much. I wanted to—I'm so happy you talk about all these things today. Everything you say is so precious, children. And about prayer, for me it's like a—I feel you have been, you are introducing us to ourselves, to the inmost in such a gentle and sweet way. And it's not easy for me to speak about that because I've been so much grasping and kind of enjoying some understanding. And prayer is—I always had a feeling there is something, prayer is something very, very, very, very central, but to come to it is something different. Yeah. And it's such a—and so all what you've been doing this last year is just so, so, so precious. So I felt taken by the heart and led into myself. And so the Atma is so precious a gift and I had directly full trust in it, but still it takes time to experience and to go into it really. And so I just—the intuition knows from the very beginning it is the way. And praying is not a thing; praying is just reuniting at the core. And when you say God's presence is here, yes, it's true. And it is the joy we cannot describe, we cannot talk about. This is the sweetness that cannot be too sweet. And discovering we are the healing we are looking for. Yes. But as Guruji says, for this commitment, for this looking, it's the same. I mean, it's just the same. It's just finding what we are. And we follow you and him and all the beautiful Masters because we recognize in each one this mystery we are. But we have to dive in. And thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for diving with us.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. It's—I feel so important for this one here also to be with all of you because with you, you're absolutely right that we dive into the heart, to His presence so deeply together. And the satsang space has led to so much insight, so much deepening, so much recognition of the blind spots, the silliness, the foolishness from here as well. I'm also deeply grateful to all of you for giving me this opportunity to be in His light together. And there is something about the togetherness of it, to be with Him together, which makes it so sweet and joyful. So my full gratitude for you and all of you for helping me along this path, along this journey as well. And more and more there is recognition here that everything that is good that flows through here is just His sheer grace, it's His sheer blessing. So all of us, we can collectively be grateful to Him that the light is shining, His grace is shining upon all of us. And may all our brothers and sisters in this world who are open to, who are longing to meet Him in this way, may they be led to Him in the way that only His grace can fathom, which would be best for them. I'm very happy to see how we are all opening up and softening up in His light. You know, intellect makes us hardened up, it makes us like that. Now as we are diving into our heart, I can see the openness, the softness, which is not so holding on to positions and wanting to be right and needing approval, and now just allowing His light, His grace to flow. Very happy to see all of you week on week how His grace is blessing you and opening you up.

Thank you for giving us these sweet reminders of the gratitude, the humility, and the prayer, and all these treasures. Because we can really see suffering has not much against these things. It's really drying up all the pretense and the avidity we have been living with for a long time. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much.

Thank you, my dear. Okay, let's go to—

Thank you, Father. Thank you. It's a bit mild. Is it your mic or—it's okay now. It's very good. That's good, Father. I just want to—I want to expose a few things. Yeah, I'm seeing new aspects of where I'm not following God's will in this life. And in this one specific relationship, I'm seeing very clearly that it's a difficult relationship and there's been a deep desire for peace and comfort. And I think because the desire was for comfort, it felt like a very noble desire, and so I didn't see it so clearly that I had a desire for it and I wasn't accepting things the way they are. And I just want to expose that further because even now, if God was to say that this is the way the relationship is going to be for the rest of my life, it's quite scary.

Yeah, so you won't accept it?

I will accept it, but it's scary.

With under the—yes, with protestations. Like, 'I accept it, it's Your will, but let me tell You a few things.' Not like that. But I know it can seem scary that there are certain things where we feel like it's better if it was on my mind's terms, or what we call 'on my terms.' And this is where it's strange because we have recognized that the source of all intelligence is God Himself. You see, the source of all of this life and creation is God Himself. But it feels like if I had to manage this relationship in this way—and I feel like I have to manage it, I see that. You see what I'm saying? It's very difficult and I see I'm stuck. There's so much doership and I—no, it's okay. So the easier way is just to follow His will moment to moment. Do not presume to even understand unless He's told you specifically. Then not to presume that this is what He would want, but just to follow, be moved by Him moment to moment and be guided by Him moment to moment. And at least here, in the guidance that I receive—and I'm just a beginner at this, so I cannot speak conclusively—but the end goal is hardly ever spelled out in His way, at least the way I receive it here. It is not that like in the world, the mind will make one overarching project and then say, 'Like this, then like that, like that.' You see, His way, at least as I found here, is that it's very open-ended. You just say like that, move this way, maybe send a message like this, you know, something like that. And I don't ask where it's going or what it's meant to be. I don't ask, 'Are you sure this is right for me?' you know, these kind of things, which is not what you're asking either. But just make sure of two things: one is that you're not presuming what His will would be, and second is that we just follow like a little child who's holding the Father's finger and walking. You see, to follow His will is mostly more like that. You see, it's rarely Abrahamic in that way. And if that happens, what a blessing. But I'm saying that mostly you just like that, just follow gently the prodding instead of it being like a big, big thing. So make sure that you become like a three-year-old and you're just waiting to be led by the Father in that way without having to understand too much where you're going, where you're going to end up, and what your life has to be like.

But Father, what I have noticed is that so much fear comes that it clouds everything and I'm not able to—

So say it's fear. Goes, 'My Father, it's been going for so many years.' Who, what is producing it? You know, it must be something that is getting released now. So this is the thing, Father, that the production is—the coming to satsang, hopefully, and you can tell me if it is, but hopefully the coming to satsang is not making you more fearful. It is helping you free yourself from that. And I'm honestly saying that—

I've noticed is that so much fear comes that it clouds everything and I'm not able to... so say it's fear goes, my Father. It's been going for so many years. Who, what is producing it? You know, it must be something that is getting released now.

So this is the thing, the production is the coming to satsang, hopefully. And you can tell me if it is, but hopefully the coming to satsang is not making you more fearful; it is helping you free yourself from that. And I'm honestly saying that if it is making any of you fearful, you must come up and say it, but that is not the intention at all. So therefore, then, just when it comes, just allow it to go. Allow it to go. We don't have to do postmortem. We don't have to understand where it came from, you see? You don't have to do any of that. But nobody, I can tell you that nobody has an endless supply of fear.

Father, can I see? Yeah. So I feel like what's happening is that the want for comfort or ease was so strong that the fear would come that if I interact in this way, will it lead to comfort or will it lead to disruption?

Let's do something practically, okay? You just follow my lead. Just follow my lead. Just drop everything. Drop everything. Just empty out and just leave all of it. If there's fear coming, then you can report that. If it is fine, then it's fine. Now, without moving an inch, without doing anything, just simply report whether God's presence is here.

It is, Father, very much.

Yeah. Leave all action, movement, speaking, everything to Him. And speak only when He is speaking through you. Move only when He is moving, His presence is moving you. And take as much time as you want. This is how you follow His will. Simplicity. It's a sheer simplicity. It's no complicated understanding. We don't know. Just... it's allowing. It's a simple allowing.

Now, what can happen is that your mind may propose a question or an understanding; just have to let that go. You may find when His presence is palpable—I've given you the three ways to check: unconditional love, His presence is palpable, and your reality is apparent to you. You can use any of them, and the subtler the better. So if the truth of what you are is apparent to you and your mouth is speaking like it is speaking here, then you're following His will. All actions can happen in this way. All work, all rest, everything can happen this way.

It may happen that something the mind says can seem very compelling, so we get tempted by that, and that is called to live on our own terms or follow an individual will. So we may get distracted by that. But when we notice... when we don't notice, then it's a write-off, forget about it, there's nothing can be done about it. But when you notice, there's nothing more to think. Just return to this what I'm showing you now. That is the simplicity of life.

Then you may find that words are not coming from the mouth or hands are not moving, but from your intuition, from your heart, you're receiving guidance. Then that we can follow fully as well without questioning. If there are questions, of course we can ask, you can ask the presence, but just follow that guidance. And if you're fearful, if you don't want to, all of these also we can bring to the presence itself. Soon we'll surrender in such a way that we won't want to know where it is leading, what it means, why something should be done. All of these things will not seem relevant. So we learn to just follow moment to moment, and this is what it means to just live in God's life.

If you were to just be rational, then there's no need for faith because the intellect is rational anyway, or pretends to be rational anyway. So if we have reason for something, we'll do anything. Once we have good enough reason, we do anything. But faith is beyond reason. Faith is to follow even without needing a reason. So we can't usually compute His ways into the constructs of our understanding. We can only make some broad sort of attempts, but we can't really box it in because we can't really predict how He is moving, what's happening. Our presumptions could be completely accurate or completely inaccurate. We don't know, and that is the fun of life.

Also remember that both past and future are the same for Him. There's no big difference. So when we pray wholeheartedly to Him, He may change our entire past as well. Don't limit Him in any way. He is the all-powerful one. Let's go to Shanti.

It's been some time since I spoke. Whatever I need to hear, you already said. That statement that either way it is God's will... yes, that is what I was thinking these days.

Yes, but you can't really think about it. This question always arises. Some of the statements are to be met only intuitively. I'm presuming you're saying that when I spoke about the fact that everything is God's will and yet it is important for us to follow God's will, is that it?

Yes, Father. I mean, this question arises: did I just become lazy in thinking it is God's will? And then you already answered. I mean, it's kind of tough for now, the way this is happening here, but then this shall too pass.

Very good. I'm more concerned if you report to me that it was not tough at all to move away from my individual desire and self-will and pride and knowledge and all of that into an innocence of living in the way of the heart. If you said to me, 'Oh, it was very easy, super easy, nothing at all,' then I would love it, but I would be a bit concerned about that. I'd want to question you a bit. So I'm glad you're saying that it's a bit tough; it means you're really meeting the project.

Even just before, as I said, my mother was complaining. Okay, what I can do about it? Yes. The other day I left for satsang at 9:00 or something like that, and my brother was complaining and I went back. So we are in the same boat, like what to do? And then I have another question. May I know who my Ishta is? Because I don't know. You want to know who your Ishta is for the Atma Darshan prayer or in what... I mean, there was a time when I was going to Hanuman temple every day, and then the past year I was reading a lot about Shiva, and then now again I am praying to Hanuman and then started reading Hanuman Chalisa that some help would come maybe. So then I was listening to this person, I don't remember his name, he was saying if you don't know who your devata is, then you can ask your Guru if you have one. I thought of asking you.

You found a very foolish Guru, unfortunately. So he doesn't know much about these things because he himself was all over the place. Sometimes praying to... I would say Shiva is the highest for me, Om Namah Shivaya, now just sit and chant and chant. After a week or two, 'How you became Shiva bhakta? You've always been Ram's.' My mind would say all this. I say, 'Yes, of course, I've always... no wonder I've been getting bored in the Om Namah Shivaya chanting.' So then, or when Ram would just... the mind would make it boring, then 'Om Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram.' See? And then first time any mantra seems so nice. No, you're just chanting, you're praying, you see? For the first week, ten days, two weeks, it all seems so beautiful, but then the mind comes in.

But whatever happened, by His grace, His presence, His light was found for this foolish one. So don't have to worry about all these ideas that very smart people have and things like this. You follow your heart. He will guide you. If you feel like praying to Ram Ji, pray to Ram Ji. If you feel like praying to Hanuman, pray to Hanuman. Shirdi Sai Baba, whoever, whatever. As long as your true intention is to follow God and meet Him, don't have to worry. Have you tried doing the Atma Darshan samadhi?

No, Father.

You can see, you can try with that, and then maybe this answer will reveal itself to you. Because I've given you various prayers that you can try out and see what you resonate with. There is a sort of textural resonance we all feel with a certain aspect of God that seems most relatable at a particular time before it becomes so vast that we can't really define. But try it out, experiment with it a bit and give me a report. And if you say, 'I want you to pick which one I should pick, which prayer you should do,' then I can help you a little bit with that. But don't worry so much about it.

I was saying, don't worry, pick someone for me.

First you try out a bit, tell me what your feedback is, and then based on that... because you may try it out and you may feel so completely at home in a particular prayer, say the Ram prayer or the Krishna prayer or the Devi prayer, that you may not need to even ask. It will just feel natural in your heart. Okay, we'll do that. Never fall into any misconception like that, that you see, God is the Supreme Intelligence. Can it be that you prayed to God all your life, you see, but He didn't hear you because you were praying to a different form? It's absurd. It's unheard of. There are some things which are powerful in that way, some mantra, some of that which are activated in that way, but that's different from what you said. So follow, try to do the Atma Darshan a few times and then we can talk more about it. But highest, more important than the method is the intention. More important than everything is the love. Love God deeply in your heart. Love Him for Him, for His sake. All your path will become more and more clear. Let's go to Sumit.

Namaste, Father.

Namaste, my son.

Thank you so much. I want to share something that how I listen to you and how I try to implement it in my life. Am I audible? Is my voice audible? Something wrong with the internet. Am I audible, Father?

Just wait. Just wait for two minutes. There's something wrong with the internet connection. So maybe what we could do is, if you all can hear me, maybe we can turn off the other videos for a bit so I can hear Sumit. Okay, shall we try now? Am I audible now?

Yes, yes, my Father. Very good, very good. Okay, thank you. So I would like to share that as I listen to your satsang more and more, so what the attempt that I am making is, and how compared to previous things have changed. Previously, you talk about the central protagonist. Who is the central protagonist of this story? Likewise. So I see that the more and more the delusion is about fixing that one, is about fixing the story, is about the fixing the story for that protagonist. Whereas you point out that the game is being played moment to moment. The real where we can change the story is the moment, actually. But it's like a cricketer trying to hit the ball, but he misses that every time because he is not in that same plane, so it will not make the contact that way. So yeah, so when you say that the moment we become empty, the moment we let go of our self-will, concern, and self-importance, that instant the presence becomes apparent or the guidance becomes clear. So it happens for me, but not to that extent, but little by little, some few moments here and there. Some days I am blessed like that.

This is very good. This is very good. And this is our life on this front will always be a work in progress because to let go of our individual will, our self-concern, our self-importance, you see, these are very sticky things in this Maya world. But if you're making a wholehearted attempt... you see, the other day I was saying that sometimes our life will feel like... just what was I saying? Decide... was it decide and feel? What was I saying? Commit. Yes, commit and feel. So we commit that we will just follow His will, just be in His service, live in His light. And then something, some mind temptation will come and things like that, and we will go in our own merry way. And then we commit again. And that... so we must not feel, we must not beat ourselves up expecting some sort of finality.

I started an attempt, you see. The other day I was saying that sometimes our life will feel like just—what was I saying? Um, decide? Was it decide and feel? What was I saying? Commit, yes. Commit and feel. So we commit that we will just follow His will, just be in His service, live in His light, and then something, some mind temptation will come and things like that, and we will go in our own merry way. And then we commit again. And so we must not feel—we must not beat ourselves up expecting some sort of finality and things like this. Even the greatest sages don't have finality when it comes to this aspect of it.

The insight is absolute. You cannot see yourself—you cannot recognize yourself as awareness halfway, you see. You cannot recognize yourself as awareness a little bit. 'A little bit I see it,' no. Either we see it fully or we don't see it. It's fully binary, no? That recognition, the insight part, is fully binary. But the love and servitude part, the Bhakti part, is ever-deepening. It is ever-deepening. And I feel like more and more I'm seeing that I'm such a beginner on the Bhakti path. So I don't feel like I will ever come to the end of this or to the finality of this because it's deepening and sweetening at the same time.

You know, Father, someone sent you bhajans you played, no? Of the six Shabads. So those are very touching, and I also started exploring some more of their bhajans, and those are very, very sweet. I'm loving the kirtans from the Gurdwara; they're so beautiful, so devotional, and so full of insight and pointers. Very, very touching. Especially the Sheikh Farid ones really touched my heart somewhere. I don't know if you heard that one, but such beauty in that writing. Very beautiful. I'm glad you're enjoying them as well. Yes, thank you. Thank you very much. Very good, happy to hear from you. Very good.

Namaste, Father. Yes. I feel like I'm going to see you. I don't know if I have a question or something, but I would like to really vanish or something. I mean—

You want to fully vanish or something? Yeah, what is option two? Something slightly vanish? Fully vanish? Or—

I see this me, this like—this first character, you know, the protagonist. And I see that also many times when I want something, I suffer also. I want to protect myself from suffering scenarios or to be attacked or something like that. I feel like you're just saying hello.

Yeah, yeah. All of this is sounding very serious to me, but it is completely other, like hello. 'I want to vanish, by the way. I want to vanish, but hello.' And sometimes this bothers me.

Sometimes hello is fine as well. Hello is also fine. I'm going to try to be more—

See, you want to try to be more free? Yes, I'm here with you. So, I do some question?

No, you have to ask some question? Yes. You don't have to. That's what I'm saying. You don't have to ask a question.

Yes, because I want to be free from my—from this ego, no? And I see that, and now I see more and more the thoughts that I take myself to be. Like a detachment naturally from these thoughts more and more. And also I see that maybe this way to follow the will of God is just to be empty, maybe.

Because we cannot follow God's will if we are so caught up in our individual will. If we are still strongly holding on to something that 'I want,' then to be God's servant is just lip service. It is not really—you cannot say 'I want' and then say 'I'm a servant of God.' So to be empty of our individual will is really only possible when we are empty of our identification with our thoughts. In that emptiness, then, like we did an experiment just now, where the only way to truly follow His will is to just start with an emptiness. Start with a conceptual nothingness. Otherwise, we are too full of 'me' to meet God. But you seem happy, so I'm happy. It's fine.

Father, also I hear that enlightenment is a complete forgetfulness of yourself. See that part again? Like, enlightenment is a radical forgetfulness of yourself.

Radical forgetfulness of yourself. Yes, very good, very good. Yeah.

This I feel that it's something that I would like to—

That you have to forget, no?

That I would like to forget myself, everything. This—

This one you have to forget. This 'I,' this one that would like to forget. Yeah, that one. That one, yes. This me, yes. Forget about it. Good, good. Thank you.

Let's go to Shruti, last one for today. Namaste.

Namaste, my Father. Just saying hi, hello. I'm noticing the difference right now. There's this like just very soft, quiet warmth. It's like bathing, you know? And then there's also this like, 'Ask a question, check in.' There's so much to talk about, you know, and—

Sounded like an Indian auto-rickshaw, yeah? Tuk-tuk, like a—

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

But this is most important. Yes, this is most important. This is very good. Yeah, it can bother us like that. It can say, 'Use your time, what are you doing?' And there can be a fear of judgment and self-image and all of these things. Don't worry about any of that. As long as you're with Him, all is good. Thank you, thank you. These are—I feel like by the time they end, I just feel like I've forgotten how they started and where we are, what's happening.

Ah, we have to record also. Yes, yes, yes. Come, how do we do it? Okay, we have a minute. There's some hands going up. Let's go to iPhone. Father, Namaste.

There was so much of hesitation. Don't worry, take your time. Oh, I can't talk because I start crying.

Don't worry. I'm sorry. No, I'm used to it. I know I have to get—it keeps telling me I have a habit of making people cry here. We have tears of joy. I'm glad to hear that.

Maybe not a very important question, Father, but something that I was looking at today. Sometimes I feel that I'm trying to escape from the worldly commitments, from the worldly attendance that you have to make. And like, for example, today was the day that I should have been there for someone's cremation, and it was at the same time as a satsang right now. So like everything else, I just did not look for an answer, but I stayed with my presence and I let it move me. And I became very late in the sense I didn't show up for that. And then my mind was looking for a reason, like, 'Did you do it because it was convenient?' Because the heart kept saying, 'No, I just can't miss this because I want to be here. Something is calling me from within.' So I keep feeling like, am I okay in this aspect? Because there are worldly commitments that are needed to be kept up with, and I just feel so—I feel okay with it. I don't know. I feel, you know, the voice that I heard in my heart was that I'll go tomorrow to her house to meet her personally, but today I will be at satsang. So that's the only thing that I followed. So like, there's a wedding in Bombay at the same time as Mooji's retreat, and I was escaping that commitment, really escaping it because it's fourth onward. And I'm really—I don't know if it's the right thing to do, and I don't really want to know also, but I feel like I'm escaping all these things and they're not so attractive anymore. So what needs to be done gets done automatically, but something—I have no idea.

Okay, so you know what happened many years back? And I was much younger and not as scary as I am now. So what happened is there was this psychotherapist, an oldish lady. Some of you may remember Lucia—not the Australian one, the American one. So she was Lucia, Lucia she—Italian origin. So I told her that you must follow God's will and follow your heart, come what may. And she was a bit of a comic, this one. So she came next satsang: 'Ananta, I'm very upset with you today.' And she was acting, she was a bit of an actor. 'I'm very upset with you today.' I said, 'Really, what happened?' So she said, 'In 26 years of being a psychotherapist, I've never once been late for an appointment or missed an appointment with a client. But I followed what you said, and for the first time in 26 years, I missed my appointment.'

So it may happen that way. Of course, she was, I think, messing around. But the movement of our life in God's will cannot be judged in some intellectual parameters of right and wrong or good and bad. Is it so? In fact, we have no ways to judge these things. As humanity, we've been trying to get a handle on the philosophy of ethics for thousands of years, and we still have not been able to define what justice is. Is it utilitarian or categorical? We still don't know answers to these very basic questions.

But those who learn to live in God's presence know that the only way to determine good or bad or right or wrong is if it is coming from God or if it is leading to God, then it is good. And if it is not coming from God—which means your intuition, your Satguru presence, the Holy Spirit—then it is an error. It is to live on our own terms thinking that we can know what is right. So one, if you remember that there is no way to gauge based on these immediate outcomes what was good or bad in that way, because the outcomes may be seen, if at all, many decades or centuries later. We don't know what anything is for, really. I may say a lot of things in all these satsang recordings, and maybe nobody hears me in all these years that this man was alive, but maybe 100 years later somebody picks up a recording and hears something and finds God. We don't really know what anything is for and whether it is good or bad in that way.

So but that needs a lot of faith; it needs a lot of trust. So that is the first thing. The second thing is that we must ensure that when we say it is the heart which is guiding me, we must ensure that it is not the mind which is playing God, you see? Because it is very good at doing that also. It can say, 'My child, I feel like you should not go to the funeral, you should sit here.' You know, it can be like that. So you must use my tests. I have given you the tools to really check and be full of integrity with yourself, because that's all that counts at the end of the day. What you know about yourself in secret is what is important, you see? It is not important what the world thinks of you, whether we think you're following God's will or not. None of that is important. It is only what it is—true integrity is what's in your heart.

So what you must do is make sure that as you're receiving this guidance, make sure that it is surrounded by an unconditional love—not just an idea of love, 'Oh, I'm feeling so much love,' but just tasting that love. And subtler, the presence of God may be palpable or tangible for you. And subtler still, your reality as the Self may be apparent intuitively to you. If this third one is apparent at the same time as the guidance is being received, then you can trust that guidance to be intuitive, because we cannot be intuitive and mental at the same time. We are too limited in the human condition. So with full integrity to ourselves and not just, you know, finding reasons to make things happen according to what we want—'I don't want to go for the wedding, so I'll just find a way to feel like it's from my heart,' you know? It's happened so much to my seekers also that it's just, 'Oh, my heart is telling me.' But what did you want to do? 'I wanted that only.' So first we have to, with integrity, be empty of our want, you see? Be truly empty of our want. Then come to the palpable presence of God, and even higher, to come to the purely intuitive, non-phenomenal recognition of the Self. Then we can confirm that I'm hearing God's will.

So like, as your grandfather, can I ask you whether this presence is palpable for you?

Yes, Father.

Okay. How do you meet that? How do you find that?

There is no me when I find this. I just meet it empty.

And then what happens? So you're empty. Just whatever is coming to say from there, you can say emptiness, you're right, is like the prerequisite. So you empty first. Then how do you distinguish between—how do you know whether something is coming from your mind, from the intellect, or from your heart, from God's presence? There is a clear distinction. I know that what we—

Yes, Father. Okay, how do you meet that? How do you find that? There is no 'me' when I find this. I am just empty, and then what happens? So, you are empty. Just whatever is coming to say from there, you can say. Emptiness, you're right, is like the prerequisite. So, you empty first. Then how do you distinguish between, how do you know whether something is coming from your mind, from the intellect, or from your heart, from God's presence? There is a clear distinction. I know that. What would you say is the qualitative distinction? There's so much of a sense of hereness and sense of stability and clarity.

Would you say that that sense is tasted or is it just recognized?

It's recognized. Sorry, something is wrong with the internet today.

Yes, are you able to hear me now? Very good. How would you say this sense is? Is it tasted or is it just recognized? And is there a distinction between this question?

It's very much recognized, Father. Tasting is a very fleeting experience. I know it is me. I don't know what to say. It's very good. It's very good for today. So, it's very, very... yes. I felt the mind kept making proposals of, 'You look for your convenience, you want to see your comfort in every aspect.' It was playing up, and spontaneously I just asked you. I wanted to say, yes, I know all that is rubbish. It didn't bother me. There was no sense of guilt, and I wanted to be clear within me that nothing is playing up.

Make everything about Him. Make everything about Him.

I can't read the Beggar Servant prayer because I was just going to ask you about that. I'm just going to ask you whether you're doing the prayer. You can't read it?

No, no. I read it, but I can't read it every day because I do the Ardas every day. Because I don't do it, it just arises. What happened to the other one?

I can't do it yet because I feel in a lot of places very confronted, and I feel so small and little, and I feel foolish, and I feel this is inconceivable as of now. But too much, too much. I only ask, you know, what arises when I read this, and only a prayer of forgiveness, like, 'Forgive me, forgive me for all my arrogance, for all my pride.'

Yes, but you know what happens is that, like if you go to school, you go to 10th standard and you say, 'I don't want to do ICSE, I want to do IB,' the school is not going to change its curriculum. Follow the curriculum. That itself is a good exercise to not rely so much on our preferences. That if the teacher has asked you to follow something, there must be something there in us to be able to meet that, and something that has to unfold as a result of that request. Even though we may not understand, 'What is this for? Why is he or she troubling us?' And you know, 'Why must I? I only feel bad. I'm in satsang to feel good, not to feel bad.' All these resistances may come, no? Yeah, but we must in a way follow the curriculum and it's so, so beneficial. It's one of the strongest medicines that has come from here. If my children don't take it, then what's the point of the medicine? Yes, leave your curriculum to God's grace. Don't have preferences and don't pick and choose, because with that pick and choose, this project doesn't happen, no?

I've been reading it. I'm probably scared of meeting it fully. I've been reading it.

Not at all an admonition of any sort. It's just an encouragement that you must, right?

Thank you so much, Father. Thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you.

Thank you for this. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Satguru Mooji Baba ki Jai. Love you, Father. Thank you so much. Thank you. Love you. Thank you, Father. Bless you. God bless you, Father. Love you.