Every Moment Spent in God’s Light Transforms Lifetimes of Conditioning for Us - 9th Dec 2024

So what is it that I can help with? Where are we getting stuck? What are the difficulties that we face? How can I help, basically? And if this is the project, then I don't know if I have any credentials to help anyone in this project. I'm just a mere foolish beginner myself, learning to love God more deeply. But whatever little bit, by God's grace, if I can offer, I'm happy to offer. Okay, let's go to Adi first.

Okay. I think for me recently an issue—I mean the difficulty I'm facing—is to connect with that love and compassion for all. Yeah. It's like as soon as I'm reaching a place where I'm able to feel like we are all one and I'm able to feel that unity and the shared love for God, even if it's not there outwardly from within someone else, it's like the ego is just immediately ready to jump. And it's like I turn into a victim immediately. It's like—I don't know how to explain it—but I'm just like not in touch with the compassion and the love that I need to.

So what is your toolkit? What are the tools, spiritual tools, that you're using to try and remain in that love for God?

A lot of it is just like going back to beingness and—yeah.

So in that moment where you find that to love seems difficult, to be kind or compassionate seems difficult, does it seem like you're able to return to your beingness?

Yeah, but it's a different—it's not a complete beingness. It's not that being that I felt when I'm here where I feel like everyone, everything is one.

Yeah. Yeah. So just return with whatever—how are you returning? Just remembering to be open and empty, or using the inquiry, or using a prayer, or—?

Yeah, it's like, 'Who's here? Right, who's here?'

Okay, that's good.

Am I aware now? That—

That's good. So use that and just allow yourself to be as empty as you can. And when ego comes, when pride comes and says, 'This is what's happening to you, you're not feeling it, it's not happening,' remember that there is no real difference between wanting to love God and loving God. So many times in the spiritual path we'll have ecstasy, and many times you'll have aridity, dryness. It'll feel like, 'I've lost the connection with God.' So these ups and downs will happen. So we are not to get discouraged at that time. He knows exactly how much to give us, what feeling to give us, what taste to give us.

So if in that moment you're true to yourself and you say you only want to be with the being, His presence, then your wanting itself is to love Him. You don't have to pressurize yourself to be more loving than that. Just your intention to hand over yourself to the beingness in that moment is the expression of love itself. So stay with that. Even if the feeling seems very arid for the moment, then you will see, as you remain in spite of all the mind attack, if you remain in that, then that love will start to blossom more and more.

And then you say that coming to Satsang you feel that love so deeply. So that's beautiful, that God's grace then brings you to an environment such as this, that you can experience His presence and love. And then every time you taste it, it forms a deeper groove, a deeper wound—beautiful wound—in your heart. The more you taste it, if pride doesn't get into us, then that will just keep deepening and the love will keep spreading. So allow the love for God naturally to reflect into the love for our brothers and sisters. Just love this beingness, as you called it. This being belongs to whom? It doesn't belong to a person, isn't it? So it's definitely not personal. So this universal one is the one that we call God, the Supreme Intelligence, the Supreme Life, the Supreme Love.

So return to the refuge of That one and don't judge yourself on the outcomes that may emerge from there. Just return to the intention of wanting to be there with Him and to love Him. And whether you're using your inquiry or a prayer, the point is to return to this point. So then when you're here, just sit. You don't have to physically sit—you know what I mean—sit there. Just sit there. Just sit there. So what will happen when you sit there? The mind will come. It'll say, 'But what about this work? What about this message? What about this thing that you have to do?' It will come and distract you. As a counteract of that mind distraction, use your sadhana, use the pointers that you're following from Satsang, so that you can return to the simple sitting.

See, it may seem initially that you're sitting face to face with your Atma, like you're sitting facing Him. Then it may seem like you're sitting as Him. And then it may seem even that you're sitting as the witness of even Him. But the point is really not to judge yourself or benchmark yourself in any of those things. The point is to sit in love, sit in peace, sit in quietude. So you're sitting like that, just sitting in the heart temple, as I call it, or the gyanis may say sitting in your inquiry, open and empty, sitting in the nothingness. Then the mind comes, it says, 'But what about asan? Did he eat?' Some idea may come like that, that 'Have you fed your children?' And to just return to your prayer or 'Who's the witness of this thought?' brings us back to the quietude of just sitting in the heart temple. Okay, please.

When in conflict with someone, it's like I'll try to go back to that, but nothing—it's like, because I want to come from a place of just heart to the person.

Yeah. So what you have to do is that you have to change your intention from how you're going to behave with him. Like, 'I want to come from a true place' is still about the realm of Maya. So your intention only should be to be at the true place. The 'come from' then is God's job to do, it's God's will to do, you see? But if you start off with the intention of wanting to be a certain way in the wrong playground, then the thoughts of the wrong playground will keep you immersed in that. So you just have to brush off everything, everything that is mine, brush it off. And maybe it seems too difficult to start with, so say, 'Okay, for the next ten minutes, my heart is for God alone. I don't care how I'm coming across with others.' If there are others or no others, for the next ten minutes it's of no concern to me.

Just give yourself those breaks very often till those breaks become your usual life and you see that from there everything is navigating. But if your interest is to have the ability to navigate from there, then you can't really settle there. So look at your relationship with God as the primary relationship. Don't look at it as a way to help another relationship. Just keep fixing your relationship with God; the rest He will do. That is the one relationship you have to fix. All other relationships He knows what is best. Thank you. And how to fix your relationship with God? First, be very objective about it. Many in the world I speak to say, 'But I have a great relationship with God.' So then if I were to say, 'Okay, in the last one year, how much time have we spent with God?' 'Oh, I don't fix a time.' So I say, 'Okay, humor me, approximately how much?' They say, 'Maybe if I really look at it, maybe a minute a day' or something like that, you see?

So then if you had a worldly relationship like that, would you say that you've really worked on a great relationship that way? No. But we expect God to be much more merciful, much more kind, that He should be available to us all of the time. And I'm not saying you're doing that, I'm generally speaking. So we expect Him to be available for us all of the time, but we believe that our outer work is top priority many times, and then we give Him very little of our life. We give very little of our heart, actually. That's why the biblical sentence is very simple: 'Where your treasure is, there your heart will be.' So what you really treasure in the world, there you love to spend your time. If you treasure God, if you love God in this way, then you love to just be with Him. If you were deeply in love but your beloved was not revealing themselves to you, would you have a problem waiting at their door for as much time as it took for them to reveal themselves to you?

Of our life, we give very little of our heart, actually. That's why the biblical sentence is very simple: 'Where your treasure is, there your heart will be.' So what you really treasure in the world, there you love to spend your time. So if you treasure God, if you love God in this way, then you love to just be with Him. If you were deeply in love but your beloved was not revealing themselves to you, would you have a problem waiting at their door for as much time as it took for them to reveal themselves to you? And the good part about this is that the revelation of His presence—He knows what is the right time and how much of Himself to give. So a beloved in this case can be trusted so deeply with everything. But if our love for God is so deep, then why aren't we always sitting like humble beggars in His Temple, waiting for Him to give us whatever He will give us? What happens very quickly also to us many times is that we want to be with Him, but then we don't want to be humble there. We want to demand; we want to say, 'No, but Your presence should be here, Your love should be here, Your bliss should be here, my worldly life should be fine, this should happen, that should happen.' So we need to change that attitude to one of deep humility. So outside all the holy places of worship, there are humble ones begging. So can we sit like that in the heart Temple? Or is our relationship with God conditional based on what He does for us and therefore what we will do for Him? These may sound very simplistic, but if you have that humility and you approach God in your heart in this way, patience, faith, courage—all of these things will flower for you.

Okay, get it, Father. I feel the priority needs to be God, but it is not really. Change it, trying, and then what happens is, I mean, my understanding of priority and then Maya, basically. Or no?

That is the key question. That if we recognize that God has to be my number one, but it's not happening, we say 'not happening,' can there be anything else other than Maya? Maya, basically, yeah.

So how to overcome this Maya?

Turn to Him. Turn to Him.

But then Maya...

So that is why the teacher provided tools. Spiritual tools are for that. So what is the tool that you're using?

So for me, from time to time, it changes. In the sense, if it's too much into Maya, it's the ideas. If, you know, just the sense of and the body is there and there's awareness of that, then it's just turning towards God. So I really don't...

So, two to four hours where the only focus is God every day—are you doing that?

Maybe around one, one and a half hours.

Okay, so two to four hours. Because less than two doesn't work for me also. Less than two doesn't work for me also; Maya seems too strong. So try two hours. Two is not difficult, actually. And you are a very good boy, so you must be having very good habits. So I'm sure that you wake up early, you don't waste too much time on social media and things like that. So I'm sure that—no, I'm saying sincerely, sincerely—that for someone with a lifestyle like yours, I feel like two to four hours should not be difficult. So what gets in the way?

Yes, so that's exactly the thing. So what my lifestyle was is not my lifestyle now.

Change it. Change it.

Like for example, Father, like Guru's instruction was wake up at 4:00, whatever it may be, and simply sit. And I just neglected that, and I see the consequences of that.

So somewhere, that's why I'm saying that if your intention is there, it's not 'have to.' Just treat it like the most important thing for the day, then you will find that what happens here—I'll tell you. Sometimes I have this intention that I'll wake up and do this from 4:00 to 8:00, but the previous night maybe something, Satsang, something family, so 4:00 doesn't happen, 6:00 happens. So you sit from 6:00 to 8:00. My work starts at 9:00, 9:15. So sometimes even if I wake up at 7:00, then those two hours happen in the morning. Then two hours easily—one hour, one hour in the day is not difficult to find for those who really want to prioritize this as the number one thing. So many times what happens is that if the whole day something was there, and of course the intent is to be in prayer with Him throughout the day, but when I mean focused prayer, I mean there is no—we are not carrying any other intention. Not kids, not work, not anything. Only just God. Is it? But I have noticed that God somehow creates that time. So from 8:00 to 12:00 at night, and sometimes you feel very tired even at 9:00 at night, but you just carry the intention to spend some time with Him and say, 'Okay, today it looks like only two hours is happening,' but you will see that a 9:00 to 1:00 can happen at night also. Just have that. And there are so many tools. You have the Sadhana, the ideas, the inquiry. You can start with just some spiritual reading also. It all depends on what is your temperament and what you're moving towards at that point of time. But carry this strongly: that two to four hours you have to do, and more leaning towards the four than the two. In the 24 hours that we have, even if you say eight hours of sleep, then there are 16 hours left, and one-fourth of that we can give to God. It'll do. It'll do something. And the idea is not that, 'Oh, four hours done for the day, so now just whatever.' The idea just gives you the momentum to remain with God throughout your day. But you can continue with your worldly activities keeping yourself anchored in His presence. And I don't know if all of you noticed, but first thing in the morning many times you just feel like, 'No, no, just get on with the day, there's no time today.' She sent a very beautiful one; she sent a quote by Martin Luther. He said that, 'For the first hour of my day, I make it a point to spend with God. But if I have an exceptionally busy day planned, then that has to be two hours.' Opposite to these simple things. Because all of us want to lead a life of living in His presence, and there is no other sainthood other than that. So if we want to emulate the lives of saints, then this much we have to do.

What's, I mean, what gets in the way? I know Maya, but like what? And what can stop us from this? Like two hours should be given, but if you were to even say three or four, what would get in the way?

I would say earlier I had a lot of stamina for this kind of Sadhana. I'm not talking about physical stamina, I know, but I see that diminish largely now. So I pray for Grace to restore that because there is no other purpose for why we should be here.

So that's one thing. The second thing is, if this kind of stamina means it's more difficult to just sit quietly in your heart Temple, isn't it? In spite of using the prayer, in spite of using the inquiry, whatever tools you're using, in spite of that it is difficult? Then it's a very critical project that you do it now. See, because this diminishing can keep diminishing and soon we can be at the end of our life. It just seems like, 'Where did it all go?' So then you have to put yourself, admit yourself in the ICU. Because firstly, it's very good to notice these things. We can make excuses for ourselves, but you're not doing that. You're noticing that, 'Earlier I found it easier to be in His presence, now it seems like it's more effort. I don't have the same stamina as I used to.' Then do your malas, do your japa, do your inquiry, whatever. Don't leave it. Even if it seems very distracted. I told you that every time you have a distraction but you make it a point to return, it's an act of love towards God. Such a beautiful thing. So then you can treat your distraction also as a gift. 'Thank you, distraction, for giving me the opportunity to express my love for God again by returning back to Him.' Your mind will of course fight it and say, 'Easier said than done. So difficult to happen.' It's okay. Easier done, actually. What is being asked of you? What is being asked? Love God. Simple way. How does a mother love a child, an infant? Does she have to keep saying 'I love you, I love you'? No. Just to gaze at the infant is an expression of her love. So just gaze at His presence or carry the intention to gaze at Him. Many times it will feel like you're sitting outside His door; He's not letting you in. But even that is His Grace. That you can even sit outside His door is His Grace. And it's not that Maya gives us things very easily. We sit outside, knock at every door that Maya has: the money door, the relationship door, the bodily health door, the meaning of life door. All of these doors we are happy to work at because the world calls that work and, in a very convoluted way, calls that work 'worship,' but doesn't call actual worship 'worship.' And I know it is true for families, it is true for everyone around us. If I tell my mother even now at the age of almost 50, if I tell her that I worked in the office 16 hours today, she's like, 'Okay, very good, very good, go get some rest.' And the pride will be audible. But if I said I shared Satsang with everyone 16 hours, she's like, 'That's too much. Balance.' No, it's not easy. So work is taken to be worship, but actual worship is not taken to be worship. But then we have to change that for ourselves to begin with and make worship worship, and do our work, bow down to God, surrendered to Him, offered to Him. And in that way, only in that way, can it be worship. Not selfish work is not worship.

So what when you try to do it, what stops you?

Mental—not even mental. There's some kind of fatigue, some sense of tiredness that sets in in the effort.

And then what would you do?

So then I get distracted with the next thing. Like then I get into the mind and, 'Okay, what next? What is to be done?' Yeah, phone or whatever after that. So that is the stamina I was talking about. Because earlier the clarity that this is the primary quest of life was very clear. Now that seems to be a little distracting.

So let's work on that for a minute or two. What is Plan B? What is Plan B?

There's no Plan B.

No, no. You say that priority was God, now that is a bit shaky. So what other priority can there be?

There is, I mean, the four things that you said, Father. That is, it's relationship, health, money, you know.

Okay, suppose that you work on all those four things and then? Nothing really. That somewhere inside I know that. But just that the quality of—I don't know if I'm articulating it properly—but the quality of Sadhana is not what it used to be.

You focus on how much time you're spending in it. Don't worry about the quality. But dedicate that time, those two to four hours. Make God the only intention. Even if there is no feeling of depth, there is no feeling of insight, there is no feeling of love, there is no feeling of peace, nothing. You're sitting like a beggar at His door. You have no right to demand any of those things, but you have to sit there. Because all the other things which seem like priorities in our life are going towards death alone, and only He is going towards life. So use whatever time you have. And you have so much, compared to this old man, you have so much more time. So use that to build a beautiful foundation to your heart Temple. Because the older we become, the more difficult it will seem. The more deep the conditioning deepens, the more difficult it seems. Make this deeply ingrained. Don't worry about anything. Just say that, 'This much time is for God only. Now I'm here for God. I'm not going to be selfish about anything in this time. I'm not going to try and entertain myself on the phone. I'm not going to finish off my work while it's prayer time. I'm not going to do any of that.'

Yes, but there's a but...

There's no but. I just have to start. Grace is back. See, the irony of it is that the zombie life seems like a lived life. A life which is only leading to nothing, like a real nothing, seems like, 'Oh, we're taking charge and we're running our life.' A life which is surrendered to God seems like a zombie life to the mind, but that is the only true life. So the attempt has to really be: 'My heart is Yours, this moment is Yours, may the actions be Yours, may everything be Yours.' Like to be dead to ourselves in that way can seem like a zombie.

See, the irony of it is that the zombie life seems like a lived life—a life which is only leading to nothing, like a real nothing, seems like, 'Oh, we're taking charge and we're running our life.' A life which is surrendered to God seems like a zombie life to the mind, but that is the only true life. So the attempt has to really be: 'My heart is yours, this moment is yours, may the actions be yours, may everything be yours.' To be dead to ourselves in that way can seem like a zombie life to the mind, but is actually the true life. Let His will run your life. Yeah, so like Krishna telling Arjuna in the Gita: 'Don't give into this weakness, break out of it and fire.' Because Maya works in these ways. Soon life is over unless we give God the gift of that time. You see, Maya takes all that time away from us, and if the gift of time seems like a big sacrifice to any of us, we must make it. That's when the rubber hits the road.

We can have all the fancy spiritual concepts and we can say, 'Oh, but everything is God's will; when it is God's will, then it'll happen.' And all of that is just very good excuses. But we haven't really committed to the relationship of love to our Beloved, the most important one in our life. So we must return to that. Don't reason on who else is having problems. Is this the project? Is the intention to spend this kind of time at least with God? I could sincerely say that, you know, that is the project of my life. And yet in the past six months, I think on the daily, maybe three minutes consciously I'm with Him. And I feel so blessed because I know through all the turmoil and all the work that's been going on the six months here, I could see He's with me and moving it. But it's amazing how time has taken away. Yeah, and life will come in; before you know it, time is gone.

Okay, so we have to move that. And it's His mercy, His grace that—like no other relationship would be that forgiving. You say to a worldly relation, 'You are my number one, but I can give you only three minutes every day.' Huh? If you said that to Christina, she'd say, 'Get out,' isn't it? No, not going to work. But God is merciful like that. But we shouldn't take that mercy for granted. Like, for our own sake—not that we need to give God something, but for the sake of our own heart. Every moment we spend in His light transforms lifetimes of conditioning for us. So for our own sake, we need to give this gift to ourselves in this way. And choose your favorite way to be with Him. Don't get into the trap of highest, lowest, best, worst. That's some saying. Make it about the time that you're giving to Him. He will show you the right method.

Many of us have been in satsang for very long but still debating which is the best and which is the worst. Is to pray the best? Is to inquire the best? What makes me empty? What makes me just give that time to God? He will show you the method. You feel inquiry? You can keep asking, 'Who am I? Who am I?' If it is not the grace of the Atma, you feel like any insight will happen? Will you come to Atma Darshan just by asking the question mechanically, 'Who am I?' His grace has to work. Just by making a prayer, you feel like His presence will be bestowed on us? No, all requires grace. So grace is the highest. So find that in the moment. Okay, you're too tired, you don't want to do the inquiry. You're too tired, you don't want to pick up your mala. You're too tired, you don't want to do mental japa. You're too tired for any spiritual practice. Okay, put a bhajan and listen to it. What stops you from doing that? It's just Maya. Maya in its various ways says, 'I don't feel like it, I don't like this kind of stuff.' But then we are depriving our heart of that nourishment. We are feeding death rather than life.

There is no greater place to be than at His feet, in His presence. Whichever way you say it, there is no higher way to live. Whatever you want to accomplish in Maya will be worth dust tomorrow. Build spiritual wealth for yourselves. What happens unless you are in the presence of God? You say, 'I don't have time,' but unless it is the Atma's gift, you don't get good rest. Restfulness is also a gift from the Atma within, you see. So you say, 'I don't have time,' but you're sleeping badly, you're wasting time on the bed not sleeping well. So try the other way. Try to give Him your time. You see that all rest, all insight, all love, all peace, all guidance—everything is a gift from Him. Can anything in the world promise you restfulness? Let's not even talk about the big things: love, peace, joy. Just a night of good rest. Can anything in the world promise you? No. Then you have to rely on medication and tablets and all of these things for sleep. And just try this other way also and see. I'm not saying if a well-meaning, well-intentioned helper is helping us in those things it's fine, but try turning to God and surrendering to God for these things. All that is good comes only from Him.

I was saying the other day, how many hours a day do you want Him to be with you and help you? Yeah? You okay to say, 'Okay, let Him help me 23 hours and 59 minutes, but in that one minute I will beat my own heart, I will do my own breaths and all the millions of processes that are happening in this body'? That one minute you will take care of everything? You can't. So then if you want Him to be with you 24 hours a day—I know I'm being simplistic—but then at least we can be with Him for two hours where He is the only focus. Yeah? And He is reality. So this two to four hours, which may seem like a lot, is actually the only time where you're trying to approach reality free from this illusion. 'Oh, but there's so much in this world, in this world, in this world.' Two hours, four hours with this whole world at the same time. Some of you are great at talking Advaita, so you will say, 'It's all illusion, it's all Maya.' When it comes time to pray, then you say, 'But there's so much work.' Then both can be true. Then see that this world is real, and if it is not real, then why can't we turn towards reality for at least this much time?

This kind of traditional spirituality is a bit oppressive to us in today's world because you want quick two-minute noodles, two-minute God dialogue, God service dialogue. It doesn't really work. It doesn't really work. Even if insight has to work—suppose that one-minute enlightenment, 'Who am I?'—you can just ask the question, whether the recognition comes, insight comes, it's purely His grace. So intention to love Him, to be with Him, is primary. The method is secondary. Any other difficulty?

But no one... but there's the fear of being away from satsangs for a long time. I think this is what's been bothering me, although I'm trying my best, Father, to sit with God every day. Like two hours, I make it a point. I do have the intention to increase it, but that's happening and I can feel, you know, when you spend more time with God and if it's your number one priority, despite the business, you will take out time and nobody ever regrets it.

No. Yeah, you fear that, 'Oh, do I really have time today?' But if you really spend that time with God, do we say, 'Oh no, I should have done something else, what a waste of time'? Really, unless the mind... thank you. Is it working now? Yeah. So what are the tools that all of us are using? Inquiry, prayer, ideas, just pointers like open and empty, reminders of pointers.

Connect. We need to connect. Connecting the heart.

That's good. So that's like a pointer that you use. Okay.

Devotional music, bhajans. Singing, please. Okay. Spiritual reading. Nothing else but reading. Satsang, of course. Hearing satsang is all of us. Just sharing. God just gave a very simple way to live.

This is like this: there is that photo of Grace. This photo really touched my heart. I saw it on the internet and got it printed. So people ask me, 'Is this somebody? Is this your grandfather or something?' It's not that. It's just a very famous photo. It's called 'Grace.' I loved it because it conveyed so much—that this man, he has his scripture, he has a bowl of soup and his bread, like his daily bread, and he's grateful. It just conveys how we need to live in such simplicity. Like my mom used to always say—and I used to rarely complain about food and things, but sometimes when it was really bland, then she would say, 'Dal roti khao, Prabhu ke gun gao,' which means just eat simple dal and roti breads, simple bread, and praise, give praise to God. So of course I used to hate that line, you see, but now I see the value of that. That if you can have that kind of attitude, then we don't really need much in life. All this chasing business is not really needed. Contentment, gratefulness—all of these virtues help us to just remain with God. And as we remain with God, then we become naturally more content, we become more patient, more faithful.

Okay, all of us working on our anger with the intention of never getting angry, or are we making excuses for ourselves? Hey, don't look at each other, just for yourself. Especially couples. See that this one thing can be massively transformative. You know that Ananta said it, and before she said it, I didn't really take it that seriously, but that day I really heard her. It's been a few months and I realized that it really helps. And anger is just not the outer; that is the outcome of the anger. Anger is that feeling of being right and getting irritated when somebody else is doing something, you know? So just trust God. Leave justice to God. Don't let any of this get in the way of your being happily, quietly, lovingly sitting in His presence. Don't allow these things to perturb you. And some of these things take work. So this is work. I'm working on my irritation and I feel like little progress has happened, and life will of course test that. But all these things can really help and you will see your prayer is deeper, your inquiry is deeper. Just learn to let go.

Fundamental to all of this is the fact that He lives right here in your heart. Now, don't have to get semantical about it, but you know I'm not talking about a physical place. Your spiritual core, the core of your very existence, is His house. In fact, that which you call your existence is actually His existence, His presence, Atma. That's why it's special. It is spiritual; it is not a worldly phenomena. Spirituality is to go beyond the realm of phenomena to that which is supernatural, beyond the natural. Now, don't think of it as siddhi and all of that. That which is beyond the phenomena. To be mystical is to be in God's presence. All other ideas of mysticism are made up. Primary is God's presence.

So the fear of being away from satsang—that is why you have a closed window. You have a two-month window, so we send people after you to America if you don't come back in two months. So but don't worry. Use it as an opportunity, like you said, that you will use that time there to deepen, really deepen in prayer, deepen in love for God. Maybe so that's the intention because it's—I honestly feel it's like a retreat space there, being so isolated, you know? Here, I mean, of course relative to the living that I have here, but still... I mean, I don't want to say that I don't get the opportunity here, it's just still Maya, you know? But I will surely make it.

So how many of you finding two hours every day difficult? Same reason, or 'I don't have any reasons'?

Yeah. What are your reasons? No, I try to do at least two hours a day, not four hours. Two hours somehow, two hours you wait. So it's not... it's manageable, no? Because my list is longer than that, so you know how I am. If I'm not able to do it, then I'm like, you know, I feel like I didn't do it, I didn't... like I can't sleep, you know? That is my problem.

What is on your list? Huh? What all is on your list?

I have... I'll message you. Yeah, full list of things. It's good, have a long list. I don't do more than four out of it, but I have at least some eight, nine. Eight, nine through something that you do also. But Father, since the mic is with me, how does... I don't know how to deal with... there's a lot of pain. How do we come out of any sort of trauma or pain?

What would a two-year-old child do or a three-year-old child do when they're experiencing pain? You just go crying to mama, papa. So just in that, and we have a...

Your list I have. I'll message, yeah, full list of things. It's good to have a long list. I don't do more than four out of it, but I have at least some eight or nine through something that you do also. But Father, since the mic is with me, how does... I don't know how to deal with... there's a lot of pain. How do we come out of any sort of trauma or pain?

What would a two-year-old child do, or a three-year-old child do, when they're experiencing pain? You just go crying to mama, papa. So just in that, and we have a sort of utopian idea at that age, right? Like I used to feel like my father is a superhero or something like that. So now the good news is that the one that we bring all of this to is beyond all superheroes. So the key is the development of trust. Development of trust is the key. Shall we walk through that a little bit? Okay. If God wanted to, he could change it. Yes? If God wanted to, he could change it. Change anything, including the pain, huh? So why isn't he changing it? Because he doesn't have time for us? Can't be. He has time. Time is his plaything. He's never short of time. He doesn't care enough about us? No, no, no. There are seven billion of us, so maybe he doesn't have time? He doesn't have... there are too many, like in Bruce Almighty, too many emails coming to God so he can't reply? Is it like that? Is it like that? Can't be like that. Could it be that easily? That's a new one today, but it can't be.

So then, remember what I asked Gauri's mom? Were you there? I said, what will make you as a mother give your child an extra bit of suffering even though he doesn't need it to grow? She'll not give, huh? That's what she said. She cannot give. She cannot give. No parent will say, 'Okay, let him suffer a little more' or 'Let her suffer a little, I'm busy.' No parent would do that. So that which is the source of all love, which is the source of all goodness, he would never do that to us. So given that even this has to be an expression of his love and mercy, then what must it be for? For us to grow. For us to deepen in our love for him. For us to find our true selves. What is our reality? What is Maya without sometimes without these things? And he knows precisely what every child needs, just like a parent knows what every child needs. Without his curriculum, most of us would forever be stuck in Maya lifetime after lifetime after lifetime.

So the deepening of trust happens this way: that I can still ask him as a child. It is my right. But to give it or not is his prerogative, and to trust that he knows better. It's very difficult when things are not going my way and we don't see the reason. I used to say, if I said to all of you, whoever wakes up with a very deep pain in your leg tomorrow is going to be enlightened forever, and whoever doesn't have that pain will have to live another ten lifetimes to be free, then all of us will wake up wishing for the pain and we'll be disappointed the pain is not there, you see? So our problem usually is that we feel like we can bear anything as long as we have a good enough reason. The 'why' has to be clear to us, you see? But where there is 'why,' there is not faith. It is rationality. If everything was reasoned with us, saying 'this pain you have because of this, this you have because of this,' then what is the need of faith? So to return to that childlike innocence requires a deep faith, and only in childlike innocence can we remain with God. So trust him. He knows.

Do you feel like God is your parent or your beloved, or what is your construct of your relationship with God? Parent. And the parent knows. Would the parent ever make you suffer more than what was precisely to the iota what you needed to grow? Could never do it in their love for their child. As you know, the children rebel, right? Teenage. Teenage is over now because maturity comes to us as we grow. And those things which seemed all right in our teenage rebellion, now we are mature enough to not indulge in those things, like mistrust God or just speak about him in ways which are not truly in the right reverence towards him—not that any of you are doing that.

So what is the difference between a lip-service spirituality and a lived spirituality? Is there too much echo? You all able to hear clearly? Like we went to a church that day and the bishop there, or the father there, was speaking, but it was loud but we couldn't make out the words because there was too much echo. So I was wondering whether the same thing happens here. What is the question I was asking? Lip-service spirituality and a lived spirituality. Many times the lip-service spirituality actually seems easier. A lived spirituality many times seems more difficult. But lip-service spirituality then comes with a tight whack at the end of it. But lived spirituality, because we have to constantly turn away from Maya, which can seem so difficult at times. Our will... what is the most important or the most magnetic part of Maya? Is it lust? Beautiful things coming to us? Is it any of that? I feel like it is my will. What seems like my will, my individual will, that seems like the most compelling piece of Maya. Exactly. 'I will.' The biggest support for my ego is my will.

So this Nanak statement really attacks it at the core. How can we live in the will of God? And he doesn't call it will; he says 'command.' Live in God's command. He said, beyond all spiritual practices, such beautiful words we put it up there. This will to sacrifice my will seems so difficult. I feel I know what is right. I feel like many times I just presume, I just presume that this would be the right way to do it because it is spiritual, it is loving, it's kind. That is not the project. How do I know when to pick up the bow and fight and when to surrender and leave the battlefield? How could Arjuna know? Only through what Krishna told him, you see? Because if Arjuna had left the battlefield that day and become like a Buddha and brought so many to God, or at least a form of spirituality, then we would have said, 'What a great moment in history, what a great sage.' But he picked up the bow and arrow and fought against evil, fought against pride and selfishness, then that was his Dharma at that moment. So how to know? We have to listen to God. It was his Dharma because God told him. What God tells you is good. That is why that innocence of a child is very important, to be led like a little child holding God's hand. It is a complete abandonment. There's a book in my reading list now called 'The Abandonment to Divine Providence.' The complete abandonment to Divine Providence is when we can follow God's will. That is Dharma. Dharma can never be that which we understood for ourselves. It cannot be a framework of concepts and constructs. Dharma has to be that which God guides us to do. And to do what God guides us to do, we must live in his presence.

So whichever way we look at it, our home, our true place, is only in the heart temple. So all that I'm saying is we must sit in the heart temple, immersed in a quiet love for God. How much? Always. But at least to begin with, at least two to four hours a day, huh? Sunday also. Oh, but are you saying that you have to be true to yourself? If you feel like in Satsang you are truly immersed in his presence, truly, then it's fine. It's fine. No travel; thankfully he lives in the next building. So you have to say for yourself: is it actually difficult, or does the mind's tricks make it difficult? How much time should you spend in reality and how much time should you spend in Maya? You decide. Tell me what is the right number. Chasing Maya versus chasing reality, or intending to live in his presence. You decide the right number. I will defer to the number on this. We can do some negotiation, you see? If you look at it that way, you will come to a similar conclusion, if not more, actually. Just God is the only intention. To be with God is the only intention at that time.

Satsang, yes. If you come to Satsang, then the whole point is to immerse you in his presence. The words are just one percent of what is happening in Satsang. When they say service to God, service, do it besides those two hours?

Besides besides those two to four hours, the rest of our life you're not to just lead lives which are separate from God. This is just to give the momentum for the rest of the day to be spent in God's light. Or if you're doing it at night, for the next day to be spent in God's light. The idea is not that, 'Oh, it's done now, so now I can just be selfish, be unkind, be angry.' That's not the idea.

Talking to him in solitude?

Yes, in solitude. In solitude, the focus should be: this moment belongs to God. Clearly, my life, this moment belongs to God, is only for God. My intention is only to be with God, to love him, to discover him, to find my true self. The true self is Nirguna Brahman.

Yeah, I have been trying. Sometimes I can't, maybe, but sometimes I do more also. But when you said it, like out of sixteen hours is a lot, yeah. And out of that, I mean, it just like... it really hit me.

Yeah. So eight hours sleep. Some of us have eight-hour jobs. Now maybe we need to talk about jobs; we take more than eight hours. Then eight, eight, sixteen gone. There are still left for our family, social, whatever. Still four hours we can make up. Not even working, Father. You have the grace of having sadhu lives also. Then should give to provide the kickstart so that the rest of the day is lived in his light and presence. Ah, yes. Yes, thank you.

So we start the reading of the Ramacharitmanas. Anyone who's visiting and would like to ask a question or say something? Can I help in any way? We have a few minutes if you want to ask. You're here for just today or on Wednesday as well? Wednesday as well? Okay. Yeah, yeah. You want me to get out of the way? Someone wants to come. Thank you so much, Father.

Hello, hello. So you talked about anger and irritation again, and sorry, I just want to thank you again and again that just removing at least some amount of anger from my life, I realize that there's still some work with irritation, of course, a lot of work. So I want to ask about what we are supposed to do when we face with anger in someone else. Because recently it seems like so much anger on someone I'm facing with, and I cannot say that it just arises the same anger within me. I don't feel angry. It's a good sign because it's just... it is just too much, Father. Like the energy of it is just incredibly too much. Yeah, like someone just throws a bomb on you. And I... before Satsang again, my boss has this kind of issue and out of nothing she just throws, and your whole body still... like I feel it in my body. And yeah, it's just too much and I don't know what to do with this. So I just wanted to bring it to you and hear from you.

Yes, that's what we're supposed to do. Yes. So how to deal with external things, others, and what they bring to us? So to be, of course, empty, to not pick up anything is the ideal situation, but most times we are not able to do that. Many times we are not able to do that when faced with difficult worldly situations. So then, if we are able to in that time, then we must live like temple priests. You've heard this from me, that you must live like temple priests, that nothing is for you. You're just a priest in the temple. Whatever comes is an offering they're bringing to God. And your response... you know how temple priests work in India at least? So what they will do is you make an offering of flowers or fruit and some nice things. So you give it to the priest, then the priest will place it at the feet of the Lord, and the priest will bring you back some offering from God in return. Is it so? So what you give, it could be the same, like something is removed, something exchanged, something like that, or it could be completely different. So whatever the world gives you, just take it to God's feet, and pray to God that whatever response has to be given back to the world must come in the form of Prasad from him, the offering, the sacrament from him. So in that way, then you reduce your role as a participant in the world to just being a humble temple priest where your job is nothing but to take whatever the world is offering and place it at the Lord's feet.

Whatever the world gives you, just take it to God's feet and pray to God that whatever response has to be given back to the world must come in the form of Prasad from him, the offering, the sacrament from him. In that way, then, you reduce your role to a participant in the world to just being a humble temple priest where your job is nothing but to take whatever the world is offering, place it at the Lord's feet, and to return back to the world whatever the Lord wills us to return. You see, then your whole life becomes a satsang. It's difficult, it's not easy, but the more we try—just like the anger thing—the more we immerse ourselves, we carry this intention, the more we will deepen in this. The more you deepen in this, the easier it will be for you to remain in God's presence. The more you remain in God's presence, the easier this outer interaction will become. So be empty, be nothing at all in the world, but if that seems too difficult, then just be like a priest. Don't take anything to be for you, or nothing needs to come from you; just be like the priest.

So yeah, sometimes just reaction comes like when I feel that energy on me, you know, like yeah, this is where I react a lot. Of course, because I was so peaceful and then somehow what way just put on me. But you know, Father, last time actually what happened is that it was a crazy day. First someone just put her anger on me, nothing to do with me, and then someone else came but incredible anger. It's just, oh my goodness. And I don't know what happened, but suddenly really like for such a long time I did not feel such a strong God's presence. But it's not even I felt God's presence; God's presence completely revealed to me. I never feel that much lightness. I don't know what happened but he just came and saved me. I mean it was incredible. So that's why actually we cannot complain when so many miracles that happen with us every day, just showing us that we can deepen in our trust and faith in him for everything. Another question: can we take it like that he is just shaping us through this as well? Like can we read this in that way?

Yes, yes, much. Yeah, bless. Thank you. Welcome, love you, love you. Let's go to Clarissa quickly.

Hello Ananta, can you hear me? Yes, thank you. I relate to this what Samia said now, that I can feel the anger of others and the pressure that anger makes on me. That I have to take it, or it's difficult just to be in the heart and to watch. And there is also something where I feel that it's hard to accept your grace, and this brings so much pain. Pain that I can't... that there is always a resistance and I can't take this love fully.

I see, I see what you say. Thank you, thank you for sharing that. What is your main spiritual tool? What is it you are using?

I sit with your breath meditation and Mooji Baba's invitation exercise.

Very good, very good. And how much, how many hours?

Three hours per day in the morning.

Very then that, then that is... that will take care of everything. Just his presence is the greatest antidote to every affliction that we have in the world. And if your intention is to be with him so well, very good, very happy. He'll take care of everything, be fine. Yeah.

And also thank you for this whole family. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you all, thank you all for that. Thank you, thank you so much. Ramat wants to ask? Okay, Ram Ji is waiting for Ramacharitmanas, but he'll take one last question. Great, wonderful.

Well actually, the reason why I asked this, you said two things. One is which is going by the will of God, and I think I had asked you also, you answered it also. Usually when I rely on God's will, I don't know what God's will is. You said then take a step back, be still, and whatever answer comes. So sadly or gladly, I don't know, it is only my will that is expressed even if I keep quiet.

Yeah, I see what you mean. I see what you're saying, that maybe the highest expression of your will is to then be in that quiet waiting for his will. Okay?

And if I don't get an answer I keep quiet, but you know, I cannot promise that.

Yes, none of us can actually. None of us can promise that we have that much patience. It depends on the circumstances, it depends on what seems to be the pressing issue that is forcing our will at the moment, rushing us. But we have to keep working on it, we have to keep praying, we have to keep inquiring, remaining in his presence so we deepen in that. None of us can make 100% guarantee with any of these things, at least I can't. Okay?

One, the next question is when you said spend two hours with God, I don't think I spend even two seconds. I mean I can't. Two hours, I can't meditate. Even if I read or something, I cannot even promise that. If that is the case, what is...?

Carry the intention just to be with him and to love him. Just try and see what happens. And if nothing at all, he will show you the method. Maybe you have a devotional song playlist, maybe you have something which your mind doesn't resist so much to start with. So start with that which you can do, and then the deepening of the method leading to the prayer of just quiet, remaining open and empty. So really the point is to get to a point where you can sit in your heart for as long as you can, immersed in his love quietly. So that is the point. So you say that you're not able to do that for even a minute, then do the inquiry, do the prayer, do whatever tools that God's grace has made available to you so that you can start to deepen in that more and more.

And he answers a prayer? I mean I can't say I'm sincere either because you know, meaning if I have a choice between happiness and God, I will choose happiness, not God.

For some reason they are the same, so it works out. But what I'm saying is maybe what happens is that you must start to question the basis of some of these conclusions we make about ourselves. Are they just like mental conclusions or do they really come from a deeper place where true reflection and introspection is happening? Many times the mind is quick to make us get into these things where we feel like... I don't feel like anyone can come to boring satsang like these for as often as you have unless there was love, love for God. It is just not... or maybe all escape routes have been blocked or something. There's some reason that is deepening your love for God. So trust, we can trust that grace and don't rush into conclusions which your mind is offering that easily. You've been on the spiritual search for some time; there must be something giving it that momentum, something giving it that drive. Trust that also, see what that is, where it comes from. Right?

So a prayer is answered is what? Meaning I want that assurance because you know, as we speak now, I can't say that I can do anything. All that can sustain it further is his grace, not my effort.

Yeah, exactly, exactly. Very good, thank you. Thank you. Okay Father, bless. Yes, my dear, bless you, bless you. Okay, with page number... yeah, this is this. So before we start, as we chant, all of us are beginners at this, but the idea is just to use this as an expression of our devotion, love for God, and offer yourselves and surrender. Try to enjoy the beautiful words of this one of the greatest sages who has ever lived, Goswami Tulsidas Ji. And he has said that anyone, especially in a group when we gather and sing the praises of Lord Ram, we discuss how was he—Ramacharitmanas—what was his character is a gross way of putting it, but really we are diving into how he was, how was the Lord. So that inspires us to follow his direction. So with the innocent love for God, we just chant these beautiful verses in Awadhi from Goswami Tulsidas Ji with full heart, full love. And it's okay, we'll make mistakes, but as long as love is there, it is fine. So he said that every time it is done full-heartedly, then Hanuman Ji joins us in the joining us in the katha of Lord Ram. Let's have faith that that is true. Do you have faith that that is true? Could be lying, no? What do you feel? Maybe he was just motivating us to read his scripture, so just put some marketing in there? Is it like that? Couldn't be, no? So the sage like that could not be lying. So let's try to invoke as much devotion as possible in our heart and may we be graced and blessed by Hanuman Ji's presence in our reading today.