Allowing Our Head Not To Know and Allowing Our Life To Move From Our Heart - 12th March 2021

Now everything that you said to Shiva, I feel like you were saying to me as well and everybody of course. So I think Shiva for coming forward, thank you. And I wrote some things down just because I don't usually—I mean sometimes I write things down but usually I don't. So everything is just a way to resist what is, is what you said. That really all our ideas and even my story of believing in right and wrong, good and bad, that story that I believe in, that story is a story. And when I present myself to you, nothing feels true when I say it. And there is the feeling of making a wrong choice in good and bad still. And I think it stems from the idea that sometimes I hear the guru say you should do everything you can to be near the guru. So the mind creates the scenario of, 'Well, I have to put all of my life on hold and find a way to get near the guru physically, and if I don't, everything else is wrong.' So don't do anything else. And it creates kind of this halt in my life, or the belief that if you get into a relationship, then that will stall your awakening too. 'Don't get into a relationship, it's just a distraction.' Or a new perfect job is presenting itself, 'That's just a way to distract you from awakening.' So all of these beliefs because of what's been said—and I'm sure it's been twisted—so that's where the fear comes from. If I do these things that have presented themselves, if I do them, then I'm stopping my awakening.

This is very good. This is a very good starting point to this conversation because already I'm sensing the openness to what I'm about to say. And what I'm about to say relies on something beautiful that Guruji said. He said nothing in the world, nothing in life, has inherent meaning. Is it? Nothing. So to be able to determine if there is nothing in life which has inherent meaning, then to be able to determine the right from wrong, good from bad, what should I do and what should I not do, you see, must also be very moment to moment. You see, because sometimes to move next to the guru could make you very, very identifiable, and sometimes to move next to the guru could be the greatest grace that could happen to you. Sometimes you might find freedom by looking into the eyes of the master, and sometimes you may find freedom by when you're milking a cow or something, you know? So there's no real template that anybody can say, you see, because if there was a template like that, humans are actually that smart that they would have figured it out by now. They'd say, 'Go for it.' Everybody, herd mentality is there anyway, so everybody would. But because nothing works universally in this form of strategizing or making tactics, now because nothing works universally in a templatized way, then does that mean we are forever lost? It would sound like that. It would sound like that, that nothing has inherent meaning so I can never know what to do, I can never know what is right, I never know what is wrong.

Now, what I am discarding in the notion is that there is a certain set of actions, you see, which can consistently create this kind of outcome. You see, so the notion of cause and effect we have to discover. You see, and especially if this life is some sort of spiritual template to freedom, then I would not advise it to anyone. Which is, yesterday I was sharing about how much confusion and how much spiritual jumping around and how much all the wrong things that have been advised not to do were done from here. Like practically every kind of jumping of practices, following different, different things, trying to experiment with everything, you see, was here. And yet, you see, something worked in Guru's grace to show me that, show me what the longing was for. So on the basis of this life, I can give you no template. I can give you no template. I never really lived in an ashram, but does that mean—can you take from there the meaning that, 'No, no, but living in an ashram doesn't help'? Of course it helps. We have so many examples of it helping both traditionally as well as now in our lives. So we cannot say anything that it should be like this or it should not. The mind is always trying to create these modes and say, 'This is correct, this is wrong, this is the way it should be, it should not be.' Then what do we do? And you know, and that is the answer I sent to you, and maybe something just felt like it's a cop-out or something, I'm just ignoring the question, but really that is the only way to live. The only way to get guidelines is to go to our intuition moment to moment.

You see, because even if I was to tell you, 'Go left, go left, go left,' that might be for just now, and tomorrow you're meant to go right, right, right. So it cannot apply. You see, it is important sometimes to do that dance at first, going left and then right. And if I started writing guidance like that, then people would say, 'Are you crazy?' But that's not the point. So what do we do? We have the source of this intelligence as our intuitive ability, our intuitive intelligence always with us, you see. And we can rely on it not to give us a roadmap or a game plan, but to be able to point us to what is needed, if anything at all. In this manner, that is the only way we can live this life with openness. If we try to put our life in some sort of stereotypical move, then it is only going to frustrate us and it never has the intended outcome anyway. So that same place, provisionally we can call it the place where you know that you are aware, which is not conceptual, which is not perceptive—in that same place which we can call the heart, the guidance about what is needed, if anything at all is needed, is available to us. It doesn't have to be in words, you see. It sometimes just can move us, you see, or sometimes it can be in words and sometimes it can be in so many other ways.

But this coming to satsang is the development of trust. It is the development of trust where we move away from the roadmaps and the game plans and the modes of how reality is meant to function—because there is no such way in which reality functions—into a trust of our divinity, which is our own heart. Dropping into that trust and allowing our head not to know and allowing our life to move from our heart. Allowing our head not to know and allowing our life to move from our heart, which it already is doing. But if you remain with that, then you will feel a sense of resonance with it instead of a sense of opposition to it. See, if you go to your mind, it will constantly resist the movement which is happening from your heart anyway. You see, if you just remain with your heart, then you will feel a sense of alignment with it, a resonance with it, a non-resistance, a non-suffering. And suffering is nothing but a resistance to what it is. So all of this I wanted to say, but it came out just like 'trust' like moment to moment.