Are we forcing ourselves to be aware?

Because our habit is become to make this effort to try and sustain personhood, we ignore we have come to this point where we start ignoring what is effortless here already. So, we can take a few moments to just check what is here, that needs no effort, what is here that needs no thought, does my sense of existence now need to be reinforced with some ideas or concepts and that which is aware even of existence, is it an effortful awareness, keeping it up, are we forcing ourselves to be aware, and if you were to