I want to meet a saint who stayed messed up — devotees clean up the grey

It's not about the gender of God. And you see, bless you more and more and more. I'm so inspired with God, because we really see the compassion of God, you know, we've scared that, we've been waiting in order to look to... some like some stories on the street, and we will see the compassion of the soul. One more thing was, I see like all the saints, and they're all so sorted. They live noble lives, or they live horrible like... Walmik. He was a decoyed murderer, all that, and then he started Sana, and then he was already suddenly just transformed. You didn't hear like he was doing Sana, then he took up his gun and killed someone, came back and again, did Sana. They were all sorted, and I want to meet someone who was like, messed up, continued to be messed up, messed up, messed up, messed up, messed up, messed up, where does this lead, I don't know. Right here, what do you think? And what happens is that there's a lot of... because the life stories are written by devotees, then all the grey areas, the things which are not the most amazing, most beautiful, they are mostly left out. So, as I also constantly look for the regularness of...