I missed my first appointment in 20 years

One time we had somebody from America and she said, I just want to surrender, but I am not able to. Can you promise me that everything will be okay if I surrender? Of course, the next day she came in. She is a bit of a comic. This one she is allowed next to me because everyone laughed. So, next day she came and said, I am very upset with you today because I have been psychotherapist for 20 years and in those 20 years I have never missed an appointment. But after I surrender, the first time I have missed an appointment. So, this is the thing. If you surrender, but we still have an expectation of what that surrender must mean. You see, then what is the surrender actually? What has been surrendered?