The Purity of Sharing God: Beyond Ego and Pedestals

And then you start to see—like, what I'm happy about in your report is that I feel like you are truly attempting to bring people to God, to serve God. You see, you are not trying to serve yourself, which is the great step, which is the great step. If you—and you will—if you keep up on this way, then God's grace is always upon you. The minute it becomes that 'I'm here to serve my purposes' and 'to serve my purposes, therefore I am telling you like this and I feel like that,' you see, then it's more the 'me, me' which is being shared in the guise of satsang for God. Then that becomes contaminated; it becomes—it's not really satsang anymore. So to feel that, remember that true satsang, true prayer, true anything to do with the spirit will always leave us more humble than when we started. Prayer always humbles me.

We were just talking about it the other day, that we feel after prayer, 'I'm going to feel like I'm the king of the world.' You won't. So Maya always takes its toll and prayer always humbles us. It takes its toll means that if we indulge in it, it'll take a tax. You see, the tax may not be visible. It may be God's grace mellows it, puts a balm on it. But the tax has to be paid. And when we go to God, when we inquire into our nature, what we really are, even in the awakening where we have a very deep insight into oneness with God, you see, in that true awakening, if we allow ourselves to remain in our heart, we come with head bowed down and not with 'I am God now.' You see? So, but if the mind takes hold of it, the mind can very much take hold of the memory of an awakening experience and therefore make itself special and then come into that mode. That's very possible. So there are ego traps like landmines everywhere on this path, on the spiritual path. So that's why we are told that the lane is very narrow. It's a very narrow lane; can't squeeze yourself in at all. Can't squeeze yourself.

Those who are realizing it must continue to share. You know, it feels like I'm really risking my life to share. It really feels like that. See, once it becomes clear that it is about the audience of One, and not the audience of many in front of us, you see, then our heart will not let us waver. Once it seems like I'll give something to them and I need something from them, you see, then it becomes a worldly give and take. Then that purity of where you want to come from will not be there. So it must not become a give and take in that way, because we just make ourselves available, God shares, and the only job is to turn everyone towards God. God. Okay. You must never become, you know, that 'Oh, I am the teacher, I am...' and we notice these things. Like, once you're becoming vigilant now, you're noticing these things, like how the teacher persona comes. And I just talk about—it's so yucky here that after so many years of sharing Satsang, I can't get rid of Ananta sharing Satsang. No. So just attempt to be as transparent and to be a transparent window into God's love and light is very humbling.