Surrender: Dissolving False Identity and Trusting Silence

Yeah, I was thinking the same. So let's see where we can meet. Firstly, do you feel that He is here?

Yeah, yeah, that's okay. But right now you feel like He's always here, isn't it? That feeling may change from our side, but at least as long as we can see right now that it is an intuitive, heartfelt knowledge that He's always with us. Okay. So firstly, it is that. Then now you're saying that you surrendered your will. It can seem like a sacrifice. 'I really wanted that and I let it go because I did not feel it was coming from His will.' So that can seem like a sacrifice. So you sacrificed your will first, yes? Then you waited and you did not get a response. Now, would you not say that that silence was God's response?

When we learn to trust that seeming non-response which the mind is clamoring for, but we trust that silence of God's presence more than the clamoring of the mind, we are starting to follow His will, you see. So it is not a dial-a-God service. Sorry, it's not a dial-a-God service that 'I let go my will and then...' That's like a 1-800 number. 'Just let go of my will, I've done my part, now it's over to you,' you see? It's not. It is a development of faith. It is a development of patience. It is a development of trust, you see? Because we are learning to let go of our false way of life and coming to a true way of life. And that true way of life is full of patience, is full of courage. So that deepening of faith, deepening of trust—and you will see more and more as time goes on, if you give it enough time, that that silence was the best response that was needed at that point of time.

Yeah, it's quite clear. He's saying either dissolve yourself fully—the false sense of identity, dissolve it fully through your self-inquiry. Get to the origin of any reference that the 'I' can make, which is the 'I'-thought: 'I am this, I am that.' All this, get to the source of where this 'I' comes from and you will find that it is the Absolute reality. And if not that, if your temperament is different, if you're attracted to another way, then just surrender your will to Him. What is to surrender your will to Him? It is the same at the end. You realize that that individual doer which seems so important, the mind's ramblings about 'I want' and 'I don't want'—it seems so alive and important—once you start to let it go, you will realize more and more that only He is. And whatever of me still seems to remain, it is best lived in refuge to Him, at His holy feet, in His holy presence.

So ultimately both lead to the same place of the dissolution of the false identity and the union with God, you see? Now many times what happens is the mistake we make is that we take an experience or an insight about our oneness with God and make a conceptual reality out of that for ourselves, you see? Suppose you did inquiry really well and in that inquiry you saw that there really are no two, there is no distinction. So you remain like that for some time. Then when you step out of the inquiry, then there may be silence for a long, long time, but slowly the mind tries to make something out of that experience and says, 'Okay, now you have seen the greater reality,' you see? Or 'You have had an insight about the truths.' That is the beginning of coming back into the false identification, you see, when you're able to make a claim like that about yourself and not for all your brothers and sisters.