Faith Beyond Rationality: Trusting God's Will

So who loses out in that process? We. This is the condition, or the human condition, that I see in me. It's like saying—sorry, we have a chat about this—but isn't it like saying that 'if you don't get rid of my headache, I'll set my head on fire'? Just like that. 'Oh, if you don't help me with this thing, then I won't have faith in You.' Not somewhat like that, but I would say... if I were to ask what is stopping me from fully turning to God, I would look at it and say that the very basic worries of life—which you always put it like body, money, relationships—and so when very basic... these are it. These four are it. There is nothing else. Life is not complicated, just these four things. Just that when they get all mixed up together, it seems so... everybody seems to have a unique life, but there's not a fifth thing you have worried about.

Whether I see that, for example, in the context of this retreat—to break even you need some end number of participants, then you can truly fulfill whatever you thought you would fulfill. All of that comes into play. I see that the awareness is there that 'yes, just turn to God, He's right here,' at the same time there is this worry or this fear that kind of keeps you out. And that is where this feeling comes that 'God, just take care of the money and ensure this is done.' But I don't like this conditioning. And it's good in a way that at least you're asking the right one for help. That's a good thing. So instead of sitting and worrying about it too much—hopefully you're not doing both things—but if you're praying to God about it, then don't worry about it. If you're worrying about it, then it is wasting time anyway. So just prayer, but no worry. And then you're right that there is conditionality in that—'just take care of this money thing, then I am free to be with You.' That is a living example of what I meant by saying what you do in the sand is more important.

If everybody had enough money, had the best relationship, had no problem in the body, and knew everything that they wanted to know the meaning of, and everybody was free to be with God—why is this Maya compelling? Why is this a Mahabharat? Because these things act up in Maya. They are acting up only within Maya. So why is she compelling? She's compelling because here is one who wants to turn to God, but she's not letting him turn to God by doing all this drama. That by very definition is Maya. So what you do in these moments where Maya seems to be so strong is more important than what you would do when you had the right bank balance and the right everything. Otherwise, what is the need of faith? Then even Ravan would say that 'oh yes, I can be with God, let me just... it makes sense, I have nothing better to do anyway because money is taken care of.' Then you don't need faith; then it's quite rational. Faith is that which you need which is beyond your rationality. When your rationality is pulling you in a different way, can you still have trust in God?

But trust in God means trust in God fully, not outcome trust. Our trust is usually half-baked. 'I want this, now I'm trusting You to do it.' This is how we delegate work in the office! It's not... then who is the servant and who's the master? So as long as we get the relationship right: 'I trust in You for both, whatever You do.' That is a beautiful line: 'What You're doing is my good because I don't know good from bad.' I don't know good from bad; what You do is good. And those who are in satsang can no longer say 'yes, yes, whatever is happening is God's will and therefore it is for my good.' It's fine for those who are not deepening in satsang, but for those who are in satsang, you must allow yourselves to only operate under God's will and trust that fully. So full servitude and full trust makes a devotee. Are you waiting for His hukum? Are you being moved by His hukum? That you can trust. But if you wanted to eat the apple, you wanted to go separate, you wanted to do things your way, and then you say 'now You make it work for me,' then that is a very convenient spirituality. And it's okay for those who are starting out, because even that is a beginning of trust. But those who are in satsang with full heart, then you must say 'Thy will be done.' I'm just an instrument of that. But you cannot say 'I want this, now make it happen for me.' Better than not saying anything at all, at least you're in communication with God. That also needs faith. Because if you're sitting in a room and a work colleague comes and says 'what are you doing?' and you say 'I was just talking to God about something,' they'll say 'something's wrong with you, you need some help.' Because in the world, even this normal heart relationship you can have is considered like a great stupidity. So even to have that in this unfortunate human condition—that you just even had this thing that 'okay, I'm here now, now You please help me, give me some money so I can break even'—even that needs some faith, because your own mind will come and tell you 'are you losing it?'