Anguished longing, why the silence
Original Marathi from the Tukaram Gatha · About Sant Tukaram
मराठी मूळ
मज ते हांसतील संत । जींहीं देखिलेती मूतिनमंत । ह्मणोनि उद्वेगलें चित्त । आहा च भक्त ऐसा दिसें ॥1॥
ध्यानीं म्या वर्णावेति कैसे । पुढें एकीं स्तुति केली असे । तेथूनि जीव निघत नसे । ऐसिये आश लागलोंसें ॥ध्रु.॥
कासया पाडिला जी धडा । उगा चि वेडा आणि वांकडा । आह्मां लेंकरांसि पीडा । एक मागें जोडा दुसयाचा ॥2॥
सांगा कोणाचा अन्याय । ऐसें मी धरीतसें पाय । तूं तंव सम चि सकळां माय । काय अन्याय एक माझा ॥3॥
नये हा जरी कारणा । तरी कां व्यालेति नारायणा । वचन द्यावें जी वचना । मज अज्ञाना समजावीं ॥4॥
बहुत दिवस केला बोभाट । पाहातां श्रमलों ते वाट । तुका ह्मणे विस्तारलें ताट । काय वीट आला नेणों स्वामी ॥5॥
Tukaram Gatha (Marathi Wikisource)
English Translation
The saints who have beheld You in visible form will laugh at me. This is why my chitta is troubled; I appear to be a mere devotee in name only. How shall I describe in meditation what others have already praised before me? My soul cannot depart from that longing; I am bound by such hope. Why have You set me up like this, stumbling and crooked for no reason? We are Your children, and this torment is great; one trouble follows upon another. Tell me, whose fault is this? I cling to Your feet. You are the same loving mother to all; what is my special offense? If this one is unfit for the purpose, then why did You bring him forth, O Narayana? At least give Your word in answer to my plea and make this ignorant one understand. I have cried out for many days, and I am weary looking down that path. Says Tuka, the plate has been spread wide. I do not know if You have grown tired of me, O Lord.
We ask forgiveness for any inaccuracies in rendering Tukaram ji’s original Marathi.
In Plain Words
The saints who have seen you in visible form will laugh at me. That is why my mind is troubled. I look like a devotee in name only. How shall I describe you in meditation, when others have already praised you to your face? My soul cannot leave that longing. Such a hope holds me. Why have you set me up like this, crooked and stumbling for no reason? We are your children, and this torment is heavy; one trouble follows another. Tell me, whose fault is this? I cling to your feet. You are the same loving mother to all. What is my one special offense? If this one was no good for the purpose, then why did you bring him forth, Narayana? At least give me a word in answer, and make this ignorant one understand. I have cried out for many days. I am worn out watching that road. Tuka says: the plate is spread wide. I do not know, Lord, whether you have grown tired of me.
What it means
Tukaram speaks from the ache of being unanswered while others have already seen God face to face. He fears he is a devotee in name only and will be laughed at by the saints who received the vision he still waits for. The complaint sharpens into a question of fairness: if God is the same loving mother to all her children, why is he the one left crooked, stumbling, and tormented, and what single offense singles him out. He even pushes the logic to its edge, asking why God brought him into being at all if he was unfit for the purpose. Worn out from watching the empty road, he asks for the smallest thing, a single word in reply, and confesses he cannot tell whether the silence means he has wearied his Lord.
Longing and Separation
Cries from the dark night of the soul: remonstrances, complaints, and desperate yearning.
More in this theme →