Longing, the deathbed meeting
Original Marathi from the Tukaram Gatha · About Sant Tukaram
मराठी मूळ
कइं तो दिवस देखेन डोळां । कल्याण मंगळामंगळाचें॥1॥
आयुष्याच्या शेवटीं पायांसवे भेटी । किळवरें तुटी जाल्या त्वरे ॥ध्रु.॥
सरो हें संचित पदरींचा गोवा । उताविळें देवा मन जालें ॥2॥
पाउलापाउलीं करितां विचार । अनंतविकार चित्ता अंगीं ॥3॥
ह्मणउनि भयाभीत होतो जीव । भाकितसें कींव अटाहासें ॥4॥
तुका ह्मणे होइल आइकिलें कानीं । तरि चक्रपाणी धांव घाला ॥5॥
दुःखाच्या उत्तरीं आळविले पाय । पाहणें तों काय अजून अंत ॥6॥
Tukaram Gatha (Marathi Wikisource)
English Translation
When will I see that day of supreme blessing and auspiciousness? At the end of this life, may there be a meeting at Your feet, and may all attachment to this wretched body be swiftly severed. Let this accumulated karma and entanglement come to an end, for the mind has become eager, O God. At every step, when I reflect, countless agitations arise in the mind. Therefore, the jiva is gripped by fear, and I cry out desperately for mercy. Says Tuka, if what I have said reaches Your ears, then rush to me, O wielder of the disc. In the depths of sorrow I call upon Your feet. How much longer will You test me?.
We ask forgiveness for any inaccuracies in rendering Tukaram ji’s original Marathi.
In Plain Words
When will I see that day with my eyes, the day of every blessing and grace? At the end of my life, let there be a meeting at Your feet, and let this wretched body's ties be cut quickly. Let this stored-up karma and the knot in my lap be finished; my mind has grown impatient, O God. At every step, when I think it over, endless agitations rise in my mind and body. So the jiva is gripped with fear, and I cry out for pity with all my voice. Tuka says: if what I have said has reached Your ears, then come running, O wielder of the disc. In my sorrow I have called and called on Your feet. How much longer will You keep me waiting for the end?
What it means
Tukaram is praying for one thing, a meeting at God's feet at the very end of life, with the body's ties cut quickly so nothing holds him back. He wants the stored-up karma and the tangle in his lap done with, and admits his mind has grown impatient for it. The reason for the urgency is honest fear: every time he examines himself, countless agitations rise, and the jiva trembles, so he cries out for mercy at full voice. The poem turns into a direct appeal, if his words have reached God's ears, then come running, O wielder of the disc. It ends not in calm but in the ache of waiting, asking how much longer the end will be withheld.
Longing and Separation
Cries from the dark night of the soul: remonstrances, complaints, and desperate yearning.
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