Longing, decide my case
Original Marathi from the Tukaram Gatha · About Sant Tukaram
मराठी मूळ
कासया हो माझा राखिला लौकिक । निवाड कां एक केला नाहीं ॥1॥
मग तळमळ न करितें मन । जालें तें कारण कळों येतें ॥2॥
तुका ह्मणे केला पाहिजे निवाड । वइदासी भीड मरणें रोग्या ॥3॥
Tukaram Gatha (Marathi Wikisource)
English Translation
Why have You preserved my worldly reputation? Why have You not given a clear verdict? Then the mind would not be in such turmoil, and the reason for all this would become plain. Says Tuka, a decision must be rendered; a patient dies when the doctor hesitates out of decorum.
We ask forgiveness for any inaccuracies in rendering Tukaram ji’s original Marathi.
In Plain Words
Why have you preserved my standing in the world? Why have you not given one clear verdict? Then my mind would not be in such turmoil, and I would see the reason for all of this. Tuka says: a decision must be made. A patient dies when the doctor holds back out of politeness.
What it means
Tukaram begs God to stop sparing his feelings and simply rule on his case. He would rather have a hard, clear judgment than this kindness that leaves him in suspense, because clarity would still the churning of his mind. He suspects that his worldly reputation has been protected when what he needs is the plain truth. The closing image is sharp: a doctor who withholds the cure out of decorum lets the patient die, so the Lord's gentle silence may be the very thing that is killing him.
Longing and Separation
Cries from the dark night of the soul: remonstrances, complaints, and desperate yearning.
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