Longing, no turning back
Original Marathi from the Tukaram Gatha · About Sant Tukaram
मराठी मूळ
न पाहें माघारें आतां परतोनि । संसारापासूनि विटला जीव ॥1॥
सामोरें येऊनि कवळीं दातारा । काळाचा हाकारा न साहावे ॥ध्रु.॥
सावधान चित्त होईल आधारें । खेळतां ही बरें वाटईल ॥2॥
तुका ह्मणे कंठ दाटला या सोसें । न पवे कैसें जवळी हें ॥3॥
Tukaram Gatha (Marathi Wikisource)
English Translation
I shall not look back now or retrace my steps; my jiva is weary of this worldly life. Come forward to receive me, O Benefactor; I cannot endure the summons of death. My mind will become steadfast if given support; even at play it will feel well. Says Tuka, my throat is choked with this yearning. How is it that nearness does not come?.
We ask forgiveness for any inaccuracies in rendering Tukaram ji’s original Marathi.
In Plain Words
I will not look back now or retrace my steps; my soul is sick of worldly life. Come forward and gather me up, O Giver; I cannot bear the summons of death. My mind will hold steady if it is given support; even at play it will feel well. Tuka says: my throat is choked with this longing. How is it that the nearness still does not come?
What it means
Tukaram has set his face away from worldly life and refuses to turn back. He asks God to come toward him and take him in, because he dreads death's call and cannot face it alone. He admits his mind can only stay steady when it has God to lean on; with that support even ordinary living feels well. The poem ends in raw ache: his throat is tight with yearning, and he cries out at the puzzle of it, that God who is so near has still not let Himself be reached.
Longing and Separation
Cries from the dark night of the soul: remonstrances, complaints, and desperate yearning.
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