Longing, the threat of love
Original Marathi from the Tukaram Gatha · About Sant Tukaram
मराठी मूळ
तेरा दिवस जाले निश्चक्र करितां । न पवसी अनंता मायबापा ॥1॥
पाषाणांची खोळ घेउनि बैसलासी । काय हृषीकेशी जालें तुज ॥ध्रु.॥
तुजवरी आतां प्राण मी तजीन । हत्या मी घालीन पांडुरंगा ॥2॥
फार विठाबाई धरिली तुझी आस । करीन जीवा नास पांडुरंगा ॥3॥
तुका ह्मणे आतां मांडिलें निर्वाण । प्राण हा सांडीन तुजवरी ॥4॥
Tukaram Gatha (Marathi Wikisource)
English Translation
Thirteen days have passed as I stand here waiting, and still You do not come, O Ananta, my mother and father. You sit there wrapped in a shell of stone. What has happened to You, O Hrishikeshi? I will now give up my life before You. I will lay the blame of my death upon You, O Panduranga. I have placed all my hope in You, Vithabai; I will destroy my very life, O Panduranga. Says Tuka, I have resolved utterly. I will lay down my life at Your door.
We ask forgiveness for any inaccuracies in rendering Tukaram ji’s original Marathi.
In Plain Words
Thirteen days have passed as I keep my fast and watch, and still you do not come, Ananta, my mother and father. You sit there wrapped in a shell of stone. What has happened to you, Hrishikeshi? Now I will give up my life upon you. I will lay the guilt of a death on you, Panduranga. Long, Vithabai, I have held my hope on you; I will destroy my own life, Panduranga. Tuka says: now I have made my last stand. I will lay down this life at your door.
What it means
This is the lover's threat, the boldest move in bhakti, spoken to a God who seems to have gone silent and still as the stone image he stands in. Thirteen days of fasting and waiting have brought no answer, so Tukaram turns to the one weapon a child has against a parent who will not respond: he threatens to die on God's doorstep and lay the blame for that death on God himself. The harshness is not unbelief; it is the opposite, the certainty that he is truly God's child and that God cannot finally bear the guilt of letting him perish. It is despair used as the last, most desperate form of prayer.
Longing and Separation
Cries from the dark night of the soul: remonstrances, complaints, and desperate yearning.
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