Longing, the lover withdrawn
Original Marathi from the Tukaram Gatha · About Sant Tukaram
मराठी मूळ
एकाएकीं आतां असावेंसें वाटे । तरि च हे खोटे चाळे केले ॥1॥
वाजवूनि तोंड घातलों बाहेरी । कुल्प करुनी दारीं माजी वसा ॥ध्रु.॥
उजेडाचा केला दाटोनि अंधार । सवें हुद्देदार चेष्टाविला ॥2॥
तुका ह्मणे भय होतें तों चि वरी । होती कांहीं उरी स्वामिसेवा ॥3॥
Tukaram Gatha (Marathi Wikisource)
English Translation
If now You wish to be all alone, then these antics were false indeed. You made a show of speaking and then cast me outside, locking the door with Yourself within. You turned the light into thick darkness and mocked the attendant as well. Says Tuka, as long as there was fear, there was still some remnant of service to the Lord.
We ask forgiveness for any inaccuracies in rendering Tukaram ji’s original Marathi.
In Plain Words
If now You want to be all alone, then these games were false from the start. You made a show of speaking, then threw me outside, locked the door, and kept Yourself within. You turned the light into thick darkness, and mocked Your own attendant along with it. Tuka says: only as long as there was fear was there any service of the Lord left.
What it means
Tukaram protests being shut out by the very God who first drew him close. If God now wants solitude, then all the earlier intimacy looks like a cruel pretense: a show of talking, followed by the devotee being pushed out and the door bolted from inside. The light he was given has been turned into deep darkness, and the servant who waited faithfully feels made fun of. The last line is sharp: it was fear that kept service alive, and now even that thread seems to be slipping. The poem voices the anguish of withdrawn grace and the lover's right to complain when the door is closed in his face.
Longing and Separation
Cries from the dark night of the soul: remonstrances, complaints, and desperate yearning.
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