Longing, turning the blame inward
Original Marathi from the Tukaram Gatha · About Sant Tukaram
मराठी मूळ
कांहीं माझे कळों आले गुणदोष । ह्मणऊनि उदास धरिलें ऐसें ॥1॥
नाहीं तरी येथें न घडे अनुचित । नाहीं ऐसी रीत तया घरीं ॥ध्रु.॥
कळावें तें मना आपुलिया सवें । ठायींचे हें घ्यावें विचारूनि ॥2॥
मज अव्हेरिलें देवें । माझिया कर्तव्यें बुद्धीचिया॥3॥
Tukaram Gatha (Marathi Wikisource)
English Translation
Perhaps my faults have become apparent to You, and so You have grown indifferent. Otherwise, no wrong has been committed here; such neglect is not the custom of that household. Let the mind examine itself with honesty; let it weigh and consider the matter truly. Says Tuka, God has rejected me because of the failings of my own intellect.
We ask forgiveness for any inaccuracies in rendering Tukaram ji’s original Marathi.
In Plain Words
Perhaps my faults have shown themselves to you, and so you have turned cold like this. Otherwise nothing unfair happens here; such neglect is not the way of that house. Let the mind look into itself honestly; let it weigh the matter and think it through. Tuka says: God has cast me off because of the failings of my own intellect.
What it means
Still feeling God's coldness, Tukaram stops accusing and turns the question on himself. Maybe his own faults have become visible, and that, not any injustice in God, is why grace seems withdrawn; he insists wrong is never done in that house. So he tells his mind to examine itself honestly rather than blame the Lord. He arrives at the conclusion that if he has been cast off, it is the fault of his own flawed understanding. The longing here matures into self-scrutiny, refusing to let God be the one at fault.
Longing and Separation
Cries from the dark night of the soul: remonstrances, complaints, and desperate yearning.
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