My Mind Is a Fish in Rama-Bhakti; How Can It Live outside That Water?
Uttara Kanda, Chaupai 106
Doha 112 · Movement 1 of 2
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Lomasa first sings something of Raghupati, then recognizes Bhushundi as fit for Brahma-jnana. He teaches the unborn, nondual, attributeless Lord: immutable, desireless, nameless, formless, indivisible, pure, imperishable, and known through direct experience.
You are That, the sage says. There is no difference, as wave is not other than water. Bhushundi bows but asks again for saguna worship. My mind is a fish in the water of Rama-bhakti. How can it be drawn out and remain alive? Let me fill my eyes with Ayodhya's Lord, then I will hear the nirguna teaching.
Lomasa continues to establish the formless and refute the personal doctrine. Bhushundi stubbornly answers each point, and repeated friction raises anger even in the learned sage. Sandalwood is naturally cool, yet enough rubbing brings fire from it. The debate is no longer only about doctrine. It has become the next hidden test of devotion and humility.
The sage offers the shoreless absolute, but Bhushundi asks how a fish could praise the shore by abandoning the water that gives it life.
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तब मुनिष रघुपति गुन गाथा। कहे कछुक सादर खगनाथा।। ब्रह्मग्यान रत मुनि बिग्यानि। मोहि परम अधिकारी जानी।। लागे करन ब्रह्म उपदेसा। अज अद्वेत अगुन हृदयेसा।। अकल अनीह अनाम अरुपा। अनुभव गम्य अखंड अनूपा।। मन गोतीत अमल अबिनासी। निर्बिकार निरवधि सुख रासी।। सो तैं ताहि तोहि नहिं भेदा। बारि बीचि इव गावहि बेदा।। बिबिध भाँति मोहि मुनि समुझावा। निर्गुन मत मम हृदयँ न आवा।। पुनि मैं कहेउँ नाइ पद सीसा। सगुन उपासन कहहु मुनीसा।। राम भगति जल मम मन मीना। किमि बिलगाइ मुनीस प्रबीना।। सोइ उपदेस कहहु करि दाया। निज नयनन्हि देखौं रघुराया।। भरि लोचन बिलोकि अवधेसा। तब सुनिहउँ निर्गुन उपदेसा।। मुनि पुनि कहि हरिकथा अनूपा। खंडि सगुन मत अगुन निरूपा।। तब मैं निर्गुन मत कर दूरी। सगुन निरूपउँ करि हठ भूरी।। उत्तर प्रतिउत्तर मैं कीन्हा। मुनि तन भए क्रोध के चीन्हा।। सुनु प्रभु बहुत अवग्या किएँ। उपज क्रोध ग्यानिन्ह के हिएँ।। अति संघरषन जौं कर कोई। अनल प्रगट चंदन ते होई।।
Then the great sage began narrating the glorious stories of Lord Raghupati with reverence, O king of birds. The learned sage, absorbed in Brahma-jnana, considered me a supremely qualified disciple. He began instructing me about Brahman: the unborn, non-dual, attributeless Lord of the heart. Immutable, desireless, nameless, formless, knowable only through experience, indivisible, and incomparable. Beyond the mind's reach, pure, imperishable, free from all modification, the limitless treasury of bliss. 'You are That, and there is no difference between you and That.' Like water and wave, so declare the Vedas. In many ways the sage explained, but the nirguna teaching did not enter my heart. I bowed my head at his feet and said, 'O great sage, please tell me about worship with attributes.' My mind is like a fish in the waters of Rama-bhakti. How can it be drawn out, O wise sage? Please give that instruction with compassion by which I may behold Lord Raghuraya with my own eyes. After filling my eyes with the sight of the Lord of Ayodhya, then I shall listen to the nirguna teaching. The sage again spoke of Hari's incomparable story, refuting the saguna doctrine and establishing the nirguna. Then I firmly rejected the nirguna teaching and stubbornly affirmed the doctrine with attributes. I engaged in argument and counter-argument, and signs of anger appeared on the sage's person. Listen, Lord: I committed great disrespect, and anger arose in the heart of that man of knowledge. When someone rubs excessively, fire emerges even from sandalwood.