Each Moment Becomes an Age for Sita
Bala Kanda, Chaupai 255
Doha 258 · Movement 1 of 2
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Sita fills her eyes with Ram's beauty, then remembers her father's vow and falls again into anguish. The bow is harder than a thunderbolt. Ram's dark youthful body appears soft. How, she wonders, can a flower petal pierce a diamond?
She laments Janaka's harsh resolve and the silence of ministers who offer no counsel. The wisdom of the assembly seems to have deserted it, leaving her alone to bear the fate of Shiva's weapon in her heart.
Yet she also knows that those who project their own dullness upon Ram will be ashamed when his nature is revealed. Hope and fear pull against one another so fiercely that time loses its ordinary measure. Each brief instant, each fall of an eyelid, passes for Sita like an age of the world.
Between Ram and the bow lies only a short walk, but Sita crosses centuries while she waits.
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नीकें निरखि नयन भरि सोभा। पितु पनु सुमिरि बहुरि मनु छोभा।। अहह तात दारुनि हठ ठानी। समुझत नहिं कछु लाभु न हानी।। सचिव सभय सिख देइ न कोई। बुध समाज बड़ अनुचित होई।। कहँ धनु कुलिसहु चाहि कठोरा। कहँ स्यामल मृदुगात किसोरा।। बिधि केहि भाँति धरौं उर धीरा। सिरस सुमन कन बेधिअ हीरा।। सकल सभा कै मति भै भोरी। अब मोहि संभुचाप गति तोरी।। निज जड़ता लोगन्ह पर डारी। होहि हरुअ रघुपतिहि निहारी।। अति परिताप सीय मन माही। लव निमेष जुग सब सय जाहीं।।
Sita fills her eyes with his beauty, drinking it in deeply. Then, remembering her father's vow, her mind grows troubled once more. Alas, father has taken such a harsh and stubborn resolve, giving no thought to what may be gained or lost. No minister dares to offer fearful counsel, for in this assembly of the wise, such a thing would be most improper. On one side stands the bow, harder than Indra's thunderbolt. On the other stands this dark-complexioned, tender-bodied youth. O Vidhi, how shall I hold courage in my heart? Can a diamond be pierced by the petal of a flower? The wisdom of the entire assembly has turned foolish. Now only I must bear the fate of Shambhu's bow. They have cast their own dullness upon others. Let them be put to shame when they behold Raghupati. Sita's heart burns with great anguish. Each moment, each blink of her eye, passes like an age, like a hundred years.