The Fault Ram Refuses to Remember
Bala Kanda, Chaupai 29
Sortha 29 · Movement 1 of 2
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Tulsidas recoils from his own audacity. He imagines his faults so crooked that even hell would turn away in disgust, and the thought of attempting Ram's story makes him tremble. Yet beneath the fear runs another knowledge: the Name has given him courage, and the Lord does not carry a servant's failure into the secret chambers of memory.
Ram looks with clear eyes and finds the devotion hidden inside an imperfect act. Where the servant sees an accusation, the Master recognizes love and wisdom. A hundred times he remembers the movement of the heart, while the mistake itself finds no resting place in him.
Sugriva and Vibhishana stand as witnesses. Each had deeds that another judge might have held against him. Ram did not keep those shadows even in a dream. When they came before Bharat, the Lord honoured them and praised them openly in the royal court. No whisper of their former fault crossed his lips. The hall heard only what grace had chosen to remember.
In Ram's court, the fault disappears and the servant's love is spoken aloud.
Read the passage from the Manas
अति बड़ि मोरि ढिठाई खोरी। सुनि अघ नरकहुँ नाक सकोरी।। समुझि सहम मोहि अपडर अपनें। सो सुधि राम कीन्हि नहिं सपनें।। सुनि अवलोकि सुचित चख चाही। भगति मोरि मति स्वामि सराही।। कहत नसाइ होइ हियँ नीकी। रीझत राम जानि जन जी की।। रहति न प्रभु चित चूक किए की। करत सुरति सय बार हिए की।। जेहिं अघ बधेउ ब्याध जिमि बाली। फिरि सुकंठ सोइ कीन्ह कुचाली।। सोइ करतूति बिभीषन केरी। सपनेहुँ सो न राम हियँ हेरी।। ते भरतहि भेंटत सनमाने। राजसभाँ रघुबीर बखाने।।
My audacity and my fault are very great; hearing of my sins, even hell wrinkles its nose in disgust. When I reflect on this, I tremble at my own fearlessness. Yet that courage, too, is the glory of the Name, which shelters one even in dreams.