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168

Verse 168 of 270

श्रीमद्राधे त्वमथ मधुरं श्रियशोदाकुमारे प्राप्ते कैशोरकं अतिरसद्वल्गसे साधुयोगम् इत्तं बाले महसि कथय नित्यलीलावयः श्री जटावेहप्रकट सहज किन्नु दृष्टा किशोरी

śrīmad-rādhe tvam atha madhuraṁ śri-yaśodā-kumāre prāpte kaiśorakam atirasa-dvalgase sādhu-yogam ittaṁ bāle mahasi kathaya nitya-līlā-vayaḥ śrī jaṭāveśa-prakaṭa sahaja kinnu dṛṣṭā kiśorī

Plain rendering

O most beautiful Rādhe, now that sweet Yaśodā's son has crossed into His budding youth, You too, swept by the abundance of love and the rising tide of rasa, have ripened into that same tender season and grown lovely and fit for the meeting of hearts. Even as these coaxing words are spoken over You, little one, the age of the eternal pastimes enters You of itself, shining out of Your very appearing, naturally, all at once. Will that Kiśorī, Rādhikā in the first flower of Her youth, ever become visible to my longing eyes?

The trembling, tender threshold of mādhurya, where a devotee lowly as a maidservant aches only to behold and to serve Śrī Rādhā's first-blossoming youth and Her shy first meeting with Śyāmasundara.

The inner meaning

Picture the kuñja at the appointed hour. The lamps of evening are not yet lit, the leaves hang still and listening, and down the dark path comes a young girl, half-led and half-resisting, Her hand folded inside the hand of Her maidservant. This is Śrī Rādhā, come eagerly to the trysting-place, and the heart is permitted tonight to feel it as Her first coming, for Yogamāyā, the tender illusion-weaver of Vraja, keeps the eternal forever new. Everything here is ancient and everything here has never yet happened. The young Couple's first looks, Their first love, Their first meeting, all of it is being born again at this very breath, fresh as the first morning of the world.

But the girl at the threshold is mugdhā, shy past speaking, frightened and wholly unschooled in love. The maidservant draws Her toward the bower, and Rādhā plants Her small feet and will not go. Hear the substance of Her trembling refusal, the very plea the tradition gives in the pada of Vidyāpati: leave Me be, O sakhi, I offer Him My obeisances from here, I will not go in to where He waits. I do not know the clever words a lover speaks; I cannot read His glances; I have never learned how to hold My pride in love's quarrel. I am dressed by My maidservants; I cannot even bind up My own hair once He has loosed My braid. I have never so much as heard what passes between lovers. How then shall I meet this Mādhava? He is a seasoned nāgara, a rasika who knows every sweetness, and I am a weak girl, abalā, of the slenderest knowing. So She pleads, and Vidyāpati answers for the maidservant: what is there to tell You, dear one? Now is the very time, now is the right meeting.

And so the maidservant bends to her wonderful service, reasoning sweetly, urgently, close to Rādhā's ear. O Rādhe, look: Yaśodā's lad has crossed into His kaiśora, His budding adolescence; will You alone remain a child? You are His prakaṭa-sahajā, born almost at the same breath as He, into this same Vraja, only one year and two weeks after Kṛṣṇa, as Śrī Jīva Gosvāmī reckons it; and a girl's body always ripens a little before the boy's. So You too have entered this sweet and tender youth, ripe and lovely, just like Kṛṣṇa. This is the moment the wise call sādhu-yoga, for when one first becomes fit to taste the very cream and quintessence of rasa, the rasa-niryāsa, at the dawning of adolescence, that auspicious meeting-time is sādhu-yoga.

Do not be shy, the maidservant presses on. A girl's youth is poured out and wasted if she cannot give it to a worthy beloved, and You, O Rādhe, are the most fortunate of all, for the beloved within Your reach is a rasika like Kṛṣṇa Himself. Search the whole round earth and there is no boy so beautiful, no boy so loved by everyone in all of Vraja, as He. And You, You are the loveliest and the most qualified of all maidens; You alone are made for Him. Cast off this fear; You are meant for one another.

And as Rādhā listens, the marvel happens: the age fit for the eternal pastimes rises up within Her like sap mounting a stem. For this kiśora-age is the original age of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa; Their paugaṇḍa, Their boyhood, and Their kumāra, Their babyhood, are only secondary expansions of this one true season. In His baby-age Kṛṣṇa relishes only His mother's love. In His paugaṇḍa-age He relishes the love of His parents and His cowherd companions. But in His kiśora-age He relishes all of it at once, the love of parents, of friends, and of the girlfriends who are His own heart, and so this season alone is the gathered aggregate of every rasa, and lets Him drink the fullness of joy to its uttermost. What service, then, the maidservant renders, when she coaxes that eternal age to dawn in Śrī Rādhikā and unlocks the whole of sweetness for them both. See the limbs of the shy girl quicken; see kaiśora break out tenderly upon each limb, like dawn-light spreading hill after hill across Barsānā.

Then, her work nearly done, the maidservant turns to the dark-blue prince Himself, leading Her trembling treasure forward, and warns Him, again in the tradition's own pada: listen, listen, O Kānu; this girl is terribly afraid. She has never made love; She knows nothing of these ways. O king of clever pranksters, O vidagdha rāy, I am placing this most tender of maidens, this sukumārī, into Your hands. Be gentle in Your eagerness; take such care that She feels no pain. And in the very instant she speaks these words, the curtain falls. The vision shivers and is gone, the transcendental revelation withdraws, and the devotee is left standing outside the closed bower of his own longing.

So Śrīpāda Prabodhānanda Sarasvatī lifts his voice, and his prayer becomes our prayer. O Rādhe, You innocent, unknowing girl: when will adolescence wake in You as I whisper my coaxing, love-filled words at Your side? When will I be the one privileged to arrange Your sweet meeting with Śyāmasundara? When will You become visible to these poor eyes in that very form? Sweet and beautiful kaiśora, he sings, has made its blessed, auspicious entrance into Yaśodā's son, Madana Mohana, the enchanter of even Cupid. O Princess Rāi, by the sheer strength of Your own new-born love, Your nava-anurāga, You will go to Mādhava. O golden lotus Rādhe, O hema-kamalinī, Your age is still so tender as You stand here drinking my words; yet the beautiful age of the eternal pastimes will come of its own accord, and the glory of youth will break forth on each of Your limbs. And then, O when, asks the devotee, will I behold that kiśorī form with my own eyes? That is the whole ache of this remembrance: not to possess, only to behold; to stand at the edge of the bower and pray that the eternal girl, eternally new, will turn for one moment and let Herself be seen.

The two traditions

The Gauḍīya stream, through Śrīpāda Prabodhānanda Sarasvatī and unfolded in the Ananta Dāsa Bābājī lineage, dwells here on sādhu-yoga, the auspicious ripening of both Rādhā and Yaśodā's son into kaiśora under the strong pull of rasa, on the teaching that kiśora is the original age of which babyhood and boyhood are only secondary expansions, and on the mañjarī-hearted devotee who stands beside the maidservant doing the lowly, blissful service of coaxing the eternal age to dawn in Rādhā, arranging Her meeting, begging Kṛṣṇa to be gentle, and praying only to behold. The Rādhāvallabha edition, in Swami Śrī Hitdas ji's Hindi rendering, holds the same wonder with its own Hit accent and names the mood frankly as abhilāṣā, longing: that Yaśodā-nandana Śrī Kṛṣṇa has reached kaiśora, that Rādhā too, overcome now by the very abundance of prema, has entered that same sweet sādhu-yoga, Her form passing at the speaking of these words into the age-beauty fitted to the eternal līlā; and it asks, with the same tender hope, whether that Kiśorī, attaining adolescence together with Her very appearing, will come into our sight. Both streams keep the love sovereign and the devotee a servant at the threshold.

For the seeker

Notice, dear seeker, where the singer places himself in this scene. He does not walk into the bower. He stands beside the maidservant, or rather behind her, and his only longing is to be the lowest of helpers: the one who whispers encouragement, who smooths the path, who arranges the meeting and then steps back into the shadows. The sweetness here is unbearably intimate, the first trembling youth of Rādhā and the meeting of the Divine Couple, and precisely because it is so intimate it must be approached on bent knee. This love is to be served, never seized. We do not put ourselves in Kṛṣṇa's place; we do not reach for what belongs only to the gopīs. We pray, as Śrīpāda prays, only to see, only to serve, only to be allowed near.

Feel, then, how the very prayer is shaped. Will She become visible to me? When will I arrange Her meeting? Every line bends toward Her good and Her joy, never toward our own taking. That is the safeguard built into the grammar of this verse. The moment our wanting curdles into grabbing, the vision shivers and vanishes, exactly as it vanishes for the singer the instant the maidservant hands the tender girl into Śyāma's care. The bower closes to the grasping hand and opens only to the serving one. So let your contemplation be the servant's contemplation: hold the longing, but hold it open-palmed.

And keep the tenderness of it. This is not a love-scene to be consumed; it is a holy first meeting to be guarded, the way the maidservant guards Rādhā, begging Kṛṣṇa to be gentle so She feels no pain. Sit at the edge of the kuñja in your heart. Whisper your own coaxing, love-filled words over the shy eternal girl, not to possess Her youth but to rejoice that it has dawned. Then wait, and ask only what the devotee asks: when, O when, will that kiśorī form become visible to these longing eyes?

Grounded in Gauḍīya commentary (Ananta Dāsa Bābājī lineage); Rādhāvallabha edition: Hindi bhāvānuvāda by Swami Śrī Hitdas ji, Hit Sāhitya Prakāśan.

Draft. Opened by the editorial council and grounded in the traditional commentaries, pending final review and a scholarly check of the Sanskrit text.