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109

Verse 109 of 270

इतः भयमितोऽस्त्रपा कुलमितो यशः श्रीरितः हिनस्त्यखिलशृङ्खलामपि सखि निवासस्त्वया स गद्गदमुदीरितं शुभहुमोहनाकाङ्क्षया कथंकथमयिेश्वरि प्रहसितैः कदा म्लेद्यसे

itaḥ bhayam ito’strapā kulam ito yaśaḥ śrīritaḥ hinasty akhila-śṛṅkhalām api sakhi nivāsas tvayā sa gad-gadam udīritaṁ subahu mohanākāṅkṣayā kathaṁ-katham ayi-īśvari prahasitaiḥ kadā mledyase

Plain rendering

Fear, shyness, the honor of His house, His fame, His fortune: each is a chain meant to hold Krishna back, yet for love of You alone, O Radhe, He who lives among the sakhis snaps every one of them and comes to You. And when Your maidservant tells You so, in a voice trembling with feeling, a budlike smile breaks across Your face, Your longing for Mohana wakes again, and You ask over and over, "How? How was it?", thirsting to hear it once more. When, O my Ishvari, will that day come when I am the one who stands at Your side and answers Your laughing, eager questions?

Madhurya in the tender key of mana-bhanjana: the sweet melting of Radha's loving pique, tasted from the maidservant's place of pure, self-forgetting service.

The inner meaning

Picture the deep grove at the heart of the night. The village lamps are out, the cowherd folk of Nanda's house lie sleeping, and into a black forest crossed with thorn and thick with wild creatures a tender prince has come walking, alone. He is the jewel of His family, the very breath of His mother and father, the pride of a spotless and famous dynasty. His kinsmen cannot bear to lose sight of Him for the span of an hour; they cannot live a moment without seeing His face. Yet here He is at midnight, careless of His own safety, careless of what the village will whisper when His bed is found empty. Why? For one reason only. For You, O Radhe.

Now come into a sweeter corner of that same forest. Svamini sits enthroned in a sweet arbour of Madhavi-vines, and She is displeased. No one quite knows the cause of this mana, this loving anger that has settled over Her like a soft cloud; and Shyama Himself, unable to soften Her, has taken shelter among the sakhis. They in turn, knowing the kinkaris to be matchless at this delicate art, set the maidservants to the holy duty of melting Shrimati's pride. And one such kinkari, receiving that order as the dearest of gifts, thinks within herself: I know how to loosen the knot in my Swamini's heart. I will sing to Her of Her own Beloved. I will tell Her how Krishna, who is a very mine of every jewel-like virtue, has thrown the whole treasury away for love of Her alone, and clings to Her and Her only.

So she comes near and begins, soft and certain. O Shri Radhe, hear me. Vrajendra-nandana, the son of the King of Vraja, is so utterly subdued by Your love that He has cast off shame as one casts off a worn garment. He has set aside fear. He has trampled the iron custom of family underfoot. Look, O Swamini, look how this delicate boy has come into the depths of the forest in the dead of night, only to meet You. He is the very life of His house, and His people perish without Him, yet He does not pause to count their tears. He is the crown-jewel of Nanda Maharaja's bright and honored line, yet He does not flinch though that honor be stained by the world's hard talk of His love for You. Fear pulls one way, shyness another, lineage another, fame and fortune yet others; here is fear, here is modesty, here is family, here is renown, here is wealth, and He, maddened with longing for You, severs every last one of these shackles as though they were threads.

And mark the tender name she chooses for Him: sakhi-nivasa, the One who now dwells among the sakhis. The clever maidservant calls Him this on purpose, for two reasons folded into one. He dwells among the sakhis now only because You have turned Your face from Him, and He has nowhere else to rest His sorrow but in their company; and the sakhis, who hold Svamini bound in the soft cords of their own love, will rejoice past all telling when She takes Him back. So the very name is a plea. It says: O Radhe, You are bound by us who love You, and we long for Your reconciliation. Sakhi-nivasa, who in the Radhavallabha telling is named Shri Lalji, has broken every moral fetter of the world for You, and You, You alone, are making Him grieve by being angry with Him for no fault at all.

For here is the secret the maidservant carries like a lamp: of all the countless splendors of Shri Krishna, the one that towers above the rest is His love for those who love Him. Subdued by that love, He will do what the world calls unthinkable, and it is in just such deeds that His tenderness blazes brightest. The tradition sings it in the old Caitanya-Bhagavata refrain, ki na bole ki na kore bhaktera karane: what will Krishna not do, what will He not say, for the sake of His devotee? For His devotee's sake He felled Bali from Sugriva's side; for His devotee's sake He swallowed the raging forest fire whole; of His own free will He becomes the servant of His own servants. He who is unbound binds Himself in love. He who is fearless trembles for His beloved. This is the wonder the kinkari sets before Radha's heart.

And see what happens as the words fall. Proud Radhika, hearing how Her Krishna lies conquered by Her own love, cannot hold Her mana any longer. The cloud of pique thins and lifts. A small smile, soft as an unopened bud, sprouts at the corner of Her mouth. Her desire for Mohana, the all-enchanting one, wakes again and floods Her, and Her voice goes faltering, sa-gadgadam, broken sweetly with feeling. And then, oh then, She turns to the maidservant and asks, "How? How was it? Katham, katham, tell me again, how is it that He has done this?" In the Radhavallabha key the same question rings as "kya-kya?", what, what was it? She asks not because She has not heard. She asks because there is no end to Her thirst to hear it. She wants it again, and again, and yet again, every detail of how Her Beloved cast the whole world away for Her.

And the maidservant, that expert artist-girl, takes up the slate of Radhika's heart and paints upon it a fresh and sweeter picture of Krishna's every sweet attribute. Raghunatha Dasa Gosvami fixes it in a single shining line, krishna-nama-yasha-sravavatamsollasi-karnikam: Krishna's names and fame and glories are the very ornaments hanging at Radhika's ears, decorations She can never weary of wearing. Her ears are not filled; Her mind is not filled; the more the maidservant pours, the more Svamini leans in and asks for more. And the clever kinkari, seeing the great relish, the boundless taste with which her Swamini drinks this nectar, goes on and on and on, glorifying the Beloved, with no thought of stopping, because the joy of feeding that thirst is itself her heaven.

It is into this scene that the longing of this song rises and aches, and the tradition names that longing the Manohara Manoratha, the enchanting wish. O my Ishvari, the heart cries, when? When shall that fortune fall to me? When shall I be the maidservant standing at Your side with the trembling voice and the picture of Krishna in my mouth? When will You turn to me with that budlike smile, laughing softly in Your renewed desire, and ask me, "How? How was it?", that I may tell You over and over how Mohana broke every chain for You? That is the whole of the prayer. Not to be loved by Krishna. Not even to look upon Krishna. Only this: to serve the joy of Radha by being the one who tells Her, again and again, how completely She is loved.

The two traditions

The Gaudiya stream, carried here through the Ananta Dasa Babaji lineage, holds this verse as manjari-seva at its most intimate: the kinkari's whole art is to break Svamini's mana by glorifying how Krishna, conquered by Her love, has cast off fear and shame, family and fame and fortune for Her alone, and to taste her own joy only in serving Radha's renewed thirst, the unending "how, how." The Radhavallabha edition's Hindi bhavanuvada, which the tradition gives in Hit Harivansh's key, titles the same heart Manohara Manoratha and renders it just so: sakhi-nivasa Shri Lalji has destroyed, for love of His Swamini, every chain of bhaya and lajja and kula and yash and shri, and the maidservant's whole longing is for the day when Radha, hearing that faltering telling, will laughingly ask "kya-kya?", what, what was it? In both streams the gaze rests on Radha as the sovereign of love and the devotee as Her servant; the difference is one of accent more than substance. Where the Gaudiya holds Krishna as Svayam Bhagavan tenderly conquered, the Hit dhara lets Radha's supremacy shine as the whole sky in which Krishna moves.

For the seeker

O seeker, feel where the heart of this song is placed. It is not placed on the breaking of the chains, thrilling as that is. It is placed on Radha's face as She hears of it, on the bud of Her smile, on the catch in Her voice, on Her endless "how, how, how." And the one praying does not wish to stand where Krishna stands, conquered and adoring. The prayer is humbler and stranger than that: to be the maidservant who serves Her that overflowing joy, who hands Her the nectar of hearing how she is loved, and asks for nothing back but the gladness of serving it.

Let that orientation be your guard. This love is the most intimate love there is, and exactly for that reason it is the easiest to grasp at, to want for oneself, to imagine standing in the center of. But the door here opens only one way, and it opens downward, into service. The kinkari does not seize the rasa; she pours it. She does not place herself in the scene as the beloved; she places herself at the edge, with a song in her mouth and her whole heart bent on Radha's smile. Approach as she approaches. This nectar is to be served, never grabbed; and the seizing hand, even the seizing thought, closes the very door it reaches for.

So sit with the smallest thing here, the trembling "how, how" of Svamini, and let your longing be only to be of use to that joy. Whichever path your foot is set upon, whether you bow before Krishna as the Supreme or bow before Radha as the whole of love, keep the servant's posture and the watching, waiting heart. Do not perform the role; pray to be permitted it. The whole sweetness here is given, only ever given, to the one content to stand at the edge and adore.

Grounded in Gauḍīya commentary (Ananta Dāsa Bābājī lineage); Rādhāvallabha edition: Hindi bhāvānuvāda by Swami Śrī Hitdas ji, Hit Sāhitya Prakāśan; Caitanya Bhāgavata (refrain on Krishna's love for His devotees); Śrīla Raghunātha Dāsa Gosvāmī (Krishna's names and fame as ornaments for Rādhā's ears).

Draft. Opened by the editorial council and grounded in the traditional commentaries, pending final review and a scholarly check of the Sanskrit text.