Aparāhna-kālīya-bhajana - Kṛṣṇāsakti

O son of Nanda, I am Your servant, yet I have fallen into this terrible ocean of worldly existence. In Your mercy, please consider me a particle of dust resting at Your lotus feet.

Śrīla Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja explains: I am Your eternal servant, but by forgetting You I became bound by māyā and fell into the ocean of becoming. Mercifully make me equal to dust at Your feet. Make me Your servant so that I may serve You.

Kṛṣṇa, whose accounts are meritorious both to hear and to chant, dwells within the heart of the sincere listener and removes its inauspicious impurities, for He is the friend of the sādhus. When those impurities are almost destroyed through constant service to the Bhāgavata and its devotee, unwavering devotion to Bhagavān Uttamaśloka arises. Then the heart, no longer pierced by the effects of passion and ignorance such as lust and greed, becomes steady in purity and finds peace.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains: Hearing and chanting His deeds bring merit. That Kṛṣṇa sits within the heart, destroys fear, and gradually removes the sādhaka's impurities. He then manifests the steadfast condition of bhakti. Freed from lust and greed born of passion and ignorance, the devotee's heart becomes accomplished in sattva.

One who sees Your compassion within every circumstance, endures the results of deeds he himself performed, bows to You with heart, words, and body, and continues to live in that spirit becomes a rightful heir to the abode of liberation.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains: While suffering the fruit of one's own deeds, spend the time serving Your lotus feet with body, mind, and speech, hoping for Your mercy. Such a person readily attains Your feet, the true abode of liberation.

O King, as a Bhāgavata continually worships Acyuta's feet in this submissive spirit, devotion, detachment, and realization of Bhagavān arise within him. Thereafter he directly reaches the highest peace.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains: One who worships Kṛṣṇa with such devoted submission develops pure bhakti, detachment, and knowledge. Growing beautifully together, these three bring the treasure of prema and supreme peace.

Hearing and chanting about Viṣṇu, remembering Him, serving His feet, worshipping Him, offering prayers, becoming His servant and friend, and surrendering one's entire self are the nine forms of devotion. I regard one who directly offers these to Bhagavān as having completed the highest study.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains: One who directly offers hearing, chanting, and the other forms of bhakti to Kṛṣṇa, the concentrated embodiment of conscious bliss, has understood the truths of all scripture and acts upon them. Such a person is the crest jewel of the wise and attains every purpose.

O Hari, may I again become the servant of the servants whose sole shelter is Your feet. May my mind remember the qualities of the Lord of my life, my speech proclaim them, and my body perform His service.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura prays: I was Your eternal servant, but I bound māyā's noose around my neck and suffered countless sorrows in this world. Now I hope once more to become the servant of Your servant, worship, and obtain a trace of devotion to You. O Lord of my life, let my mind remember Your qualities repeatedly, let my tongue sing Your Name, and let my two hands perform Your work and find peace. I have offered my life at Your feet.

O destroyer of sin, be gracious to us. Hoping to worship You, we abandoned our homes and came to the shelter of Your feet. O ornament among men, our hearts burn with fierce longing for the beauty of Your smiling glance; grant us the service of Your feet.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains: Hoping for Your service, we left home and family. Be merciful, O Kṛṣṇa, and give us Your feet. We long to behold Your smiling face; with a radiant expression, grant us service to You.

Seeing Your face framed by curling hair, the beauty of Your earrings upon Your cheeks, the nectar of Your lips, and Your smiling glance; seeing Your two mighty arms that grant fearlessness and Your chest, the only playground of Śrī, we have become Your maidservants.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains: Your face surrounded by locks of hair, the splendor of earrings, the nectar of Your lips, Your cheeks, and Your captivating smile; Your two arms that give shelter and Your chest served by Lakṣmī: seeing these, we became maidservants skilled in serving You.

Those who truly know their welfare place their love in You, the eternal beloved and their own Self. What need have they of husbands, sons, and others who bring distress? Therefore be gracious to us, O Supreme Lord. Lotus-eyed One, do not sever the hope in You that we have cherished for so long.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains: You are the beloved Self and the eternal object of love. Love for husbands and sons who cause sorrow is without true foundation. With great hope we have come to Your feet; lotus-eyed Lord, look upon us with a gracious face.

Without worshipping the dust of Rādhā's lotus feet, without taking shelter of Vṛndāvana marked by Her footprints, and without conversing with those whose hearts are deep in Her mood, how can anyone plunge into the ocean of Śyāma's rasa?

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains: If one does not worship the dust of Rādhā's lotus feet, honor Vraja purified by Her footprints, and serve devotees absorbed in Śrī Rādhikā's profound mood, how can attachment to the rasa-ocean of Śyāma arise?

Abandoning identification with the material body and all that accompanies it, by Śrī Kṛṣṇa's mercy I dwell in Vraja in the body of a gopī. Becoming an attendant of Rādhikā, I continually serve the loving pastimes of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa in the mood of paramour love.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura prays: Giving up the notion that I am the gross body, and taking shelter of Kṛṣṇa's mercy, when shall I eternally bear the body of a gopī? When shall I remain immersed in paramour rasa and obtain the expansive happiness of serving Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa?

Casting far away relatives, domestic happiness, and wealth beyond measure, and having long since abandoned hope in every other practice, I remember the dust of Śrī Rādhikā's feet, which continually showers a natural and astonishing stream of bliss.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains: Knowing attachment to relatives, worldly happiness, the four goals, and every independent discipline to be harmful, I abandon them all. I worship the dust of Rādhā's feet, which rains a spontaneous and wonderful current of happiness, and always carry it upon my head.

Aspiring for service to Vṛṣabhānu's daughter, may I reside upon the bank of the daughter of the sun. O Rādhe, when shall I become a guest upon the bower paths of Vṛndāvana?

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura prays: Let me become the maidservant of Vṛṣabhānu's daughter and dwell upon the bank of the Yamunā, Kalinda's daughter. O Rādhe, be merciful to this servant; let me become a guest upon the kuñja paths of the Vṛndāvana forest.

Meditating without cease upon Him whose crown bears a peacock feather, performing saṅkīrtana of His Name, daily serving His lotus feet, and chanting His excellent mantra, I hold only one supreme longing in my heart: service to Śrī Rādhā's feet. When, by Her mercy, will the festival of supremely wonderful anurāga arise within me?

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains: Constant meditation upon Kṛṣṇa, chanting His Name, service to His lotus feet, and repetition of His mantra are all directed toward the sole cherished aim of service at Rādhā's feet. By Her mercy, I will experience the love that follows Rādhā's own rāga.

Birth after birth, may I have only service to Vṛṣabhānu's daughter, embodiment of playful pastimes that are the essence of boundless rasa, source of bliss, possessed of a gentle beauty supremely wonderful, and whose path is inaccessible even to Brahmā and the other gods.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains: She is the playful embodiment of the essence of limitless rasa, the astonishing fulfillment of happiness and bliss, Vṛṣabhānu's daughter whom even Brahmā and the gods find exceedingly difficult to approach. May I be blessed with Her service in every birth.

May my tongue become overwhelmed while tasting the nectarean rasa of Rādhā's Name. May my feet wander the paths of Vṛndāvana marked by Her footprints. May my hands perform only Her service, and may my heart meditate upon Her feet. Through the festival of Her mood, may my love for the Lord of Her life become supreme.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura instructs: Let the tongue overflow in singing Rādhā's Name; let the feet walk through Vṛndāvana seeking Rādhā; let the hands serve Rādhā and the mind remember Her. Absorbed in Rādhā's mood, worship the treasure of Her life.

O Devī, I am wretched and tormented within an ocean filled with every sorrow. Carry me in the wondrous, powerful boat of Your mercy and bring me to the dwelling of Your lotus feet.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura prays: O Devī, this fallen person is caught in the ocean of sorrow. Lift me now into the boat of mercy and bring me to Your lotus feet.

O Devī, at no time do I ask any boon apart from service to Your lotus feet. Again and again I bow to friendship with You, while the rasa of being Your maidservant alone is mine. This is the truth.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains: I ask for nothing but service to Your feet. I bow to the position of Your equal companion, for I remain intent only upon service as Your maidservant.

O Devī, overcome by anguish, I fall flat upon the earth and appeal today in a choked voice filled with humble entreaty. O Gāndharvikā, show mercy to this ignorant person and count me among Your own companions.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura prays: Falling prostrate upon the ground, crying out in intense distress, and folding my hands, I plead in a voice broken by humility: O Devī, be merciful to this ignorant, destitute person and count me among Your own group.

Struck unconscious by the arrow of whose sidelong glance, the prince of Vraja lets the flute fall from His hand, His peacock feather slip, and His yellow garment loosen: when will I serve that Rādhikā with rasa?

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura prays: Pierced by Her sidelong glance, Śrī Kṛṣṇa faints; the flute drops from His hand, the peacock feather slips, and His yellow garment falls loose. When will I serve the feet of that Rādhā in full realization of rasa?

Adorned with garlands, fragrance, garments, ornaments, and sandal paste first enjoyed by You, and eating Your remnants, we servants shall conquer Your māyā.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains: Wearing Your prasāda garlands, fragrances, ornaments, garments, and other gifts, I pass my days. Known as a maidservant who eats Your remnants, I overcome Your māyā and remain unattached.

In the afternoon I remember Śrī Rādhā returning home and arranging many offerings for Her beloved. Bathed and beautifully dressed, She finds complete delight on seeing His lotus face. I remember Kṛṣṇa following the road back to Vraja with the herds of cows and His friends, satisfied by the sight of Śrī Rādhā, meeting His father and the elders, and being lovingly cleansed by His mother.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura explains: Śrī Rādhikā returns home and prepares many kinds of food as offerings for Kṛṣṇa. She bathes, dresses beautifully, beholds Her beloved's face, and tastes unlimited, complete joy. In the afternoon Śrī Kṛṣṇa travels with the cows and friends, sees Rādhā's face along the path, meets Nanda and the others, and is tended by mother Yaśodā. O mind, remember this in delight.

Thus ends the practice for the fifth period in Śrī Bhajana-rahasya.