You Cannot Have a Problem Unless You've Concluded Something about What Is - 28th January 2020

Even if I say, 'What are you independent of perception?' how will you find such a thing? Again, with perception, you cannot do it. So what is it that you know already without having to perceive anything? Game over, if you don't want anything selfish out of it. Only then you will try to apply it to phenomena. Yes, exactly, exactly. So the recognition is apparent when you leave the phenomena independent. And in the instant that we have this simple insight, the mind will come and say, 'Okay, so then now what about me? Then am I enlightened? Is this it? Don't I want more? Am I free forever? Can I keep this?' You see all of those? So that's what I'm calling selfishness.

We don't really think there is selfishness, but it is because we feel like that will be the culmination of this journey: when I become enlightened. But in your discovery of yourself as awareness, that kind of 'I' is no longer there, you see? Who could be enlightened? Can awareness be enlightened? Absurd, isn't it? So who are we talking about then? If you are awareness, then whose enlightenment are we concerned about? Because the ego that can never be is literally the opposite of enlightenment, like false and truth. So the false should become true? And maybe that is a good trick of the mind, that ultimately the false must become true.

We'll find like many times when we feel things like self-actualization, we actually mean 'I should become something special.' But it's not for this one; this one that doesn't exist can never become truth. So your discovery that you are awareness, and awareness fundamentally, awareness alone, fundamentally awareness alone—wow. Leave it there. Who should go? Who should rule? The ego doesn't exist. So there can still be sort of this expectation of return on investment. 'I have invested so much in the journey, what do I finally get? Where is my final Eureka?' And I'm not saying that that doesn't happen, no, or can't happen or won't happen. It may or may not; it doesn't matter is what I'm saying.

Some may disagree. 'I am the Self'—without that claim, Ram is translated. You may discover you are the Self. Like this Zen master said: 'Before enlightenment, chopping wood, fetching water; after enlightenment, chopping wood, fetching water.' But many make that also into a condition: 'Oh, you were talking about fetching water and now you're just sitting.' You see? That means it's not real. But it should be: before enlightenment, chopping wood, fetching water; after enlightenment, chopping wood, fetching water, or not. Like all preconditions are dropped. It doesn't apply to phenomenal changes.

To expect a phenomenal benefit out of the discovery that I am awareness, here is what I am calling spiritual materialism or spiritual selfishness. That is the opposite of... Krishna's proclamation was that the only prerequisite to come to freedom from this cycle of suffering is self-discovery, self-knowledge. And the only thing that gets in the way of self-knowledge is attachment to fruits of their actions—action and their fruit. And what are we doing? We're doing the inquiry so that we can get the fruit. So let's say, please apply it to a spiritual endeavor: don't expect anything out of this discovery except the truth itself. That's what I mean when I say truthful to see.

If you come to this letting go, when you come to this truthful talk, you cannot struggle. The struggle is only with 'What's in it for me? What about me?' No. How many feel that this intuitive insight, when we let go of phenomena for a moment, this intuitive insight that 'I am this,' simply this awareness of the Self? Whatever term we want to use, that seems a bit confusing still. This is especially for those ones you can see it's a pattern in. Don't get it in here, personal. Many who are claiming that they have discovered this awareness are just imagining some dark empty space, an empty dome or something. So we don't know where anyone is. So don't feel like, 'Oh, you know, everybody seems to see the Self so easily, why am I so lost?'

So let me rephrase the question: what do you know without having to think or perceive anything? You can take a minute on that. What is known independent of thought or perception as this? So it's not that everything goes into a void or something like that. It's only a limbo, you know? The mind could paint these words and I'm not opposing that, but I'm saying it's simpler than that. Just this, like this, this, or just what is. Is this not apparent? Are you not? Are you not? When thought and perception are let go of, you are not anything anymore because perception is let go, but are you? Are you not? We still are. And you are aware that 'I am.' That's what you're saying; you're not making it up.

So this awareness is just so simple, so simple. It's just that we've been looking in the wrong way. That's the only struggle. Where does the recognition take place? Because awareness just is, always aware of itself. Yeah, so you just... not exactly. You know, in the waking state, you see, in the presence of 'I am,' for moments 'I am' itself seems to take a look back for a change. But 'I am' is consciousness itself; it seems to look back for a change and see, 'Oh, I see, awareness is aware of itself.' And that is where the distinction between 'I' and 'I am' also starts to fail, isn't it? Right. Even this, like what I'm saying, is not true because it's really not that way in this play.

So again, just at best feel some intellectual void. It is the being itself that comes to a recognition of its own source. Awareness is, we'd say yes, but awareness is why. So the being aspect of awareness seems to have this turnaround. That is the closest we can come, at least I can come in words right now. That is our being itself, consciousness, which realizes that 'I am not this stuff, and I'm really not this stuff because this also comes and goes. I am really that where I come from.' It's a scale sort of, and that where I come from is like a very relaxed, not energized feeling. It is independent of that, yeah. It is independent of whether it is energized or relaxed, you see, or very focused. It's independent of all of those three, and they don't really matter.

Because as we let go of phenomena, you see, it is just apparent without the tool of attention. And that's worth experimenting with. That's why I said that that answer is also not true, because being is not using attention to become aware of the source. But what else does being have? So that's all. Is it some experience? It is that, but it's always impersonal. I mean, what do you mean by experience? So let it become... we remain independent of whatever that experience may be. If it is not space, if it is light or dark, it doesn't matter. Now, I am still around. So who is aware that you are still around? You. That is fundamentally your reality.

I am saying fundamentally your reality, with the same Vedantic principle that that which comes and goes is not real. So applying that benchmark to reality or truth, this is the only reality: that awareness. 'I am aware' or 'awareness sees,' and there is no distinction between 'I am aware' or 'awareness.' Now, where has the trouble started? Or where do you find this? Do you feel like you didn't find this? You cannot not find it, actually, but you are expecting something else. We are expecting the banana to be like a fish, and that's why we can feel like, 'Where is my Self?' Is it because it has to live up to some mental projection of what it must be? It can never be that, because mental projections are just phenomenal.

Something is speaking very fast today, I do realize that's how it's coming out, you see. But is it sitting? It's like a peace, yeah. But whatever this state may be, don't bother with that is what I'm saying. See who is aware of that state. Is that in a state? That which is aware, whether sleepy, wide awake, you see, nothing—just independent of that. And to become independent of that is to be open and empty. We are so used to trying to control the state of our perceptions, isn't it? Always like, 'This should happen in my life,' or 'When that happens, that should not happen,' you see? Desire and aversion, that's fundamentally what it is. We're just trying to control our state so much. Is it a state of perception? So that is like a deeply ingrained habit.

But really, it is simply looking: what is aware of even the state? Independent of 'as I like it' or 'I don't like it,' independent of whether it is full of energy or lethargy. Does it really matter? None of that matters. Whatever may be appearing doesn't matter because it's all in the realm of phenomena. Are you not aware of the state? This 'you' that is aware of the state, does it have a state? It has no state. Now, you will never become anything greater than that or less than that. That's it. It doesn't have to mean anything for your life, or all of life in a way becomes your life. You find it very strange, actually, to ask for something for one specific body-mind. So strange is the complete paradigm shift. Maybe we are so used to this: 'What's in it for me?' in the alternate form, you know? Are you asking something for one specific body-mind? And then, well, I mean, there's no reason at all to make this request for this body-mind. It should be forgotten in the past, its own appearance.

That’s it. It doesn’t have to mean anything for your lives. All of life in a way becomes your life. You find it very strange actually to ask for something for one specific body-mind. So strange is the complete paradigm shift. Maybe what leads to this meaning, he works in it from the alternate form, you know? Are you asking something for one specific body-mind? And then, well, I mean, there's no reason at all to make this request for this body-mind. It should be gotten in the past, its own appearing. So today let's remove all the elements of struggle or journey, getting it, not getting it, all of this oscillation. They just look at it very, very clearly.

And we explore something, and I feel it's probably the last, last hurdle. And over the past, all time, I've been buying into it also, and it wasn't raining that. So there is this guilt not partaking in... say there was need. Why is to me, as much as I'm an actor, I think that just happened. There is nothing I can do about this, but am I interested? So what do you know more? In the sense that on one aspect is, this is what I should be doing. The other aspect is that things that is flowing like a river, life is flowing. Now the clashing of these two motions is causing suffering, like the friction of opposing notions causes problems, you see.

So what you feel is a true word, truth among the two? And the writing is also part of the overall flow. So when we will start to look at everything that happens with the gift, it is including the constriction, expansion. Because I feel like you have the insight that even in the constriction that we may call guilt or some, whatever we call it, and the expansion which is surrender, you see, even that, even in these opposing states, I feel like there's an insight there already which is clear that you remain untouched, you see? So then all of these are part of the play on the playground. A little taste of this, a little taste of that. You must not shy away from tasting any feeling that is coming, you see? Because who is it made for? God has cooked it for its God-self mostly. And if you don't taste it, then who does? So taste it.

The only advice I have for you is that you don't have to call it guilt, because we don't really know what it is. It will just be like... you could call it the truth. If I call it longing, then it suddenly starts to seem better. So don't worry about the interpretation of what it is. Everything that appears for Consciousness is enjoyable. I know to the mind that sounds very strange. Everything is enjoyable because it is not making a distinction between bitter and sweet. So in that openness, don't say this should not come, this should come. This power... so the story of 'I should be' or 'life should be this way' has some more variables. So 'I should be in satsang more because' or 'I should be doing seva more because it's good to actually visit.' It's all fine, you see. So it's good, it's good you're in satsang.

But my real project in a way is to get you to a point where everything is everything, whatever. Of course, I completely recognize the sweetness, the joy that can come when you come to physical satsang, and of course I'm always encouraging them. But whatever spheres life makes, it is enough for us to use. Sometimes what can happen is that we actually don't use, make use of... and are we speaking phenomenally from there? It can happen in our way of doership that somehow we don't end up making enough use of the space that life even makes easy. And we get into sort of like a mental constriction. Like many times, strange enough, even the idea that 'always Guru's grace can be used' is like a mental constriction. 'I will go if Master wants me there'—like this kind of thing can become one of the sort of mental boxes.

So just empty of any position. Life is moving on. Beautiful. Wait until own interpretations. No labels. No only will of desire or no... they could of gives more little of... and also not so much concern for one bucket of flesh and blood. Not with little wells. We won't spend the whole life being concerned about this one bucket of flesh and blood. The most elegant exam, this house, one lump of food, that's what it is. And I mean these jokes, and how long we will be concerned with this bunch of falafel? But that's all this is. All the food and water that we consume is not in normal a part of the food and water that we consume makes it easy. So how long will we be so concerned about it actually? Not even so much concerned about that, it is more like a concern about what perceptions am I perceiving and what should be in my realm of perception every day.

And somehow, like, who's really into that? Really plan out every minute of the day, or calendar is mapped out in fifteen-minute intervals every minute of the day. What is it? It's about controlling what perceptions are perceived. So that's why when we come to this openness and emptiness, things... it is so independent of whatever may be being perceived. And that's why initially it can seem like it is difficult. Opening is the most effortless. To be empty is the most effortless. To gather is effort. But because that effort is to constantly plan and gather and make sure life is mapped out, good you start this because wrapping it, what is it coming to? What should be in front of my eyes or children to act upon? It doesn't really matter to me what's on that side of attention. It's more important what is good to come to us.

And so that is... you get to hear that it's a kernel rock, nobody interrupts. So it's a question about aloneness. And because I experienced more and more just beauty of being with other forms, this forms or those forms, and it's just like there's that feeling of life. And I've heard usually about intimacy alone, but I think something within me has become so conditioned to impress people, find security in people, the liberty, some approval. It's more than approval, like certainly approval, but also validating consolidation. So quite often when I come to this mic alone, it starts really settling. This kind of fear arises. If I'm just with myself, then who will I impress or who will validate in here? And of course in that silence it's like totally self, but it's still a persistent take. So I just don't...

Yeah, it's all part of the bubbliness that happens as you come to this now. This is very, very in a way natural aspect of that problem is because our conditioning is so deeply ingrained that 'man is a social animal.' This is this kind of thing that we are still looking for affirmation from everybody else. We're looking at validation, approval, all of these things to come from this. It's all part of this conditioning. And as you in a way, we can use the term returning to ourselves, based on what conditioning seems to have been nurtured in that particular expression of Consciousness, that conditioning will start to poke. So for some it can be like a fear. There can also be this fear of aloneness. The only one around. It can seem very scary because if you got our sense of worth, if you've got a sense of self-esteem from others' reaction to a past and impressing others, you see, then that can be very scary.

Just our lack of fundamental lack of phenomenality can be scary. Just the utter lack of anything to see there when he finds up you in this cable. Like if you have to let go of this world and inside when you take, if you would like volumes light, it's full of beautiful flames, anything heavy. But because it is so empty of phenomena, yeah, it can to the mind, it is like jumping into a void or something, jumping into a wall and there is nobody to support us. Nobody, not even Father to hold your hand. Nobody there saying, 'Come, come.' Nothing. 'Am I doing this right, wrong? Where am I going? I'm going to be forever lost like this.' You know, all this fear can come. This is all the wobbly method that can come, but we just allow it to. And it's never purely hokey. There's always this like the great stability. The wobblyness is opening happening also on the substratum of great stability, you see?

So we just let this play out. It's almost like withdrawal symptoms, creating the addiction, then we have to let the withdrawal symptoms play out. And all of us to some extent or the other have tasted that organism here sitting on the hot seat, just like experiencing that pure but great stillness. Alright, so what is laughing, crying? And now what's happening is you, all that can happen. Some can have it in a much more sober way, but in a way it is like experiencing depth is your point beyond phenomenal. And to the mind that is death. The end of phenomenal is the literal definition of death for the mind. So to walk through this death is an important aspect of this, and it can be a bit... so it's good at least in satsang then you're surrounded by sangha and the Master so you can throw that. You know how that feels. It can be very frustrating, very scary, you know?

And anytime we don't want to admit the fear, we don't want to admit to fear because fear alone in this world has got such a bad sort of reputation. To admit that this is just so scary can be a bit scary. So you'd rather see something inspecting you before the boys, Hanuman. So just to admit our vulnerability, to admit our dependence, business if it is little more support them. Nobody there, nothing telling you you're doing this when you and you look this way. And if you're in the satsang and sangha environment, here's what I'm saying: yes, this is what happened. So that's why for someone the spontaneous sort of awakening in environments which are not spiritual at all, everybody around them is telling them, 'You're going crazy.' They just like going crazy and you need help, and they're taken into psychotherapy and then put on medicine and all this kind of thing just to try and suppress this which is just a beautiful flowering.

In a spiritual way, many can say the Ram's experiencing a lot of loneliness, a lot of union. There's a lot of fear of being left alone. It's party time, but I'm here in your... in the physical aspect as your outer Master will really show you that it's a normal expected play. And there is... you're being too generous comfort, too many things to see in the presence. And what you are discovering is what I am discovering, and I am that which we are discovering, you see? So I consume empty of doer, but wherever you look, that one that we are only is what is Ram. So that it really is nothing to fear is that as you discover this aloneness, as it is public settle into this aloneness, then the world will teach and but your that is great, correct. That is very beautiful because they mean that is just truthful to say, just truthful to say.

That's, I mean, this is scary. So he was carrying yourself in a way because in your heart truly you feel like that's it, I don't want any reassurance of any sort, nothing really, I just want what is true, you see? And there's an aspect of you looking at that thing, oh, you see, that's a bit scary. It's like this to put a very simple pseudo-spiritual term, loosely contest between heart and mind, you see? The pendants, the simplicity of it is also very scary. It's like the unfathomable simplicity and the innocence of this discovery. It's just unacceptable to the mind. Can't get... I'm using this one, what if this one got this one? How can they be so simple? Outrage is very rare and this freedom supposed to be one in a million or billion or something. So all these are the trump cards of the mind, you see?

The utter simplicity, like independent of whatever may be being perceived at home, self-knowledge is always yes, you are it. That it's always you, yours. The victim card is something always wants more. The mind always wants more. Is that it? Is that it? But it is not a quantity. Self-knowledge is not... you will never have more of it or less of it. What you have is it. So that's why like the previous conversations and what is really happening there, it is somewhere we are recognizing that that's it, that is all that I have, that is my reality. Is this really beautiful poet expired, then he's like saying units, maybe probe on the river, misty, misty night, and then another boat black started banging against his higher, so he's yelling at...

Self-knowledge is not a quantity. You will never have more of it or less of it. What you have is it. So that's why, like the previous conversations and what is really happening there, it is somewhere we are recognizing that that's it. That is all that I have. That is my reality. There is this really beautiful story—I think it's Zen—maybe it's Prabhu. On the river, a misty, misty night, and then another boat started banging against his boat. So he's yelling at the other guy, who like, 'You know, you've been banging into me all the time!' And then a little bit of mist cleared and he saw the other boat was empty. So he started laughing. And then he saw his own boat was empty and there was no one left at all.

Father, then even the kind of subtle expectation that to be able to see that everything is Brahman is a final recognition—is a phenomenal expectation?

Yes, it is. Everything is Brahman. To be able to see that everything is Brahman, what would that mean for you? Does that mean you start to see some forcefields connecting everything as one? If it's not the perceptual scene—and this is the fundamental struggle in spirituality—because it is a recognition, but it is not a perceptual scene. And the mind cannot fathom that. When I used to say, 'What do you know when you know nothing?' or when I say, 'What do you have independent of thinking and perception?' the mind cannot resolve a question like that. But beyond your intellect, the answer is super clear to you. And that recognition is what is called the recognition to go beyond the intellect. This definition—that it is not a perceptual recognition—is very important because a lot of us in spirituality start with this: we're trying to think our way to freedom or perceive our way to freedom.

You have a certain expectation of what one is supposed to look like. Or would that be, for example, like it used to be like a big blob? I believe if you really look, when you see but you don't interpret, well, what do you see? Is it one, two, or zero?

Exactly. It is the interpretation which gets us in trouble. We have never seen one, nor two, nor zero, nor nothing. We have never seen any of that. That is just how we are mentally storying it. What are you seeing now? Are you seeing one? I don't see one. Do you see zero? I don't see zero. Do you see two? I don't see any two. You just see. You're not even perceiving 'one.' But the key word there is expectation. Expectation means that what is, is not enough; it should be something on top of that. And then that is what is called ego, because ego is just another name for resistance—resistance to what is. You see, the mind has no idea about what it is. It has no idea about what is being seen, no idea about anything that we can put at the end of 'what is.' After 'what is,' the minute you come to 'what is,' the mind is lost.

I think yesterday we were talking about this: what is going on? We are constantly referring to the mind for this answer. What is going on? With anything after 'what is,' it cannot answer. And those are only both my questions. And then consciousness tells itself to put itself in a bit of a bind. It's the light of all of this, but it seems to bind to the idea that it should be something else. If the projector itself gets a bit clutched, suffering is like projecting the film that is playing, and suddenly in the narration of the movie it says, 'But this is not what you're supposed to be projecting.' With that kind of conundrum, we just can't. And that is called suffering, because somewhere it is seen also that what is, only is what is.

Look at some rhythm. It's very listening. Everyone, you have to look at a tree. And you're new to something, you're like, 'But that sound like a cursed thing, stuck in one place.' It's because it doesn't have to bother with anything at all. If you're not thinking, 'Where is my next water going to come from?' well, my roots do a good job of pulling the water in. 'Where is my next sunlight need to come from?' My leaves grow, my branches go the correct manner. 'My fruit's coming, will I have flowers or not? Is a bird coming and making the nest on my branch?' It doesn't have to bother with any of that, and yet all of that happens so beautifully. That beautiful intelligence, it knows what fluids have to go where, how heavy the fruit has to be so it doesn't fall off easily. Changes the leaves, changes with the seasons. What is that intelligence that does all of this? Can a human mind ever do any of that? Can it tell the tree, 'Your sap is changing'?

So we have this huge world of grace, which is supremely intelligent and beautiful and graceful, but we try to limit it, bottle it up in my tiny watching for the mind. 'This is what I understand, so what I know, this is how it is.' And the minute we have gone to the mind for 'what it is,' it is adulteration. So the disease has come to your unadulterated being, uncontaminated with notions of what should be or should not be. What is? So what is going on right now? Tell me a true answer. What is it? To answer you, nobody can say it. It would be too small if you were able to say it. And yet all our problems begin with the confusion about what is. You cannot have a problem unless you've concluded something about what is. All your make-believe solutions and problem-solving of non-existent problems—the only suffering has time to solve non-existent problems, and all problems are non-existent. How much including me make it? Excuse me, don't have to put this mean primary problem condition. We're just constantly giving too much importance to what we think is happening, but then to what I please. Everything cool for the odds, like what is going on? What is happening? Making me both rounds. So we go to the limited. Have these so miraculously. Yes, yes. What is it? Yes, just that happening.

Okay, to the awakening experience. Here's my Zen stick. The New Age guru says it has to be like this, purely intuitive. No, the mind becomes—it starts to report something, man, there's no point. Sometimes some members get irritated with me. They start to report something and I just start laughing. I like this one. And many of you have had this. So I'm being serious right now: this is what's really happening. If you come to the scene where you'll never report what is happening today on this palette of a million colors, at best we pick out one. It's a sign of maturity to be able to just go beyond our conclusions about what is. It's really very oppressive. I remember as a child going to one of my friends, and there one of the grandparents passed away. And while there, one of my closest friends, he just couldn't stop laughing. And we were all also laughing along with him. It becomes suddenly—you get into this very sort of very oppressive, sort of gloomy place, and suddenly something—the being doesn't necessarily enjoy that. Oh, it is so. We just... you know.

With America's story that I was laughing, then one says, 'Thank you, beloved. It seems that in today's satsang you have burdened us from all the sucking tricks of the mind. You summarized all the usual pitfalls. Thank you, thank you.' Good. It's a fun satsang. Not that the others aren't, but they feel better just hearing the laughter. She's not feeling so well. In the beginning she wasn't feeling so well; even better with the laughter.

Then next one says, 'Dear Father, when we allow thoughts to come in, do we differentiate between identification thoughts and others?'

No, we don't have to differentiate. I don't have to differentiate because identification is the primary goal of the mind. So even the most innocent-seeming thought quickly will lead to identity. 'Identify' in the sense that sometimes I joke, even though the thought is 'the coconut is green,' and it can feel like, 'But that's fine, it's so harmless, what trouble can it cause?' But very soon you will get the mind says, 'Yeah, these kind of coconuts are sweet,' or whatever, 'I really like sweet, I hope it's filled, this is the season.' All this can become the fertile ground for identification. Having said that, it's not like something to feel guilty about. If you take a notion to be true, then don't take the following notion that 'I was not supposed to take a notion to be true, I'm doing so badly.' It's very straightforward. Yes, anything that is complicated, don't bother with it. Only the mind is complex in this creation. Life is very straightforward.

Then next one: 'Father, thank you for your being. It does everything. I love you.'

Love you too. The cosmic joke, the sacred—you're wearing the diamond necklace, yes, looking for it. The Lila, as far as... yeah. If the joke is one of the closest the intellect can come up with to describe this. This came from more christenings.

Father, when you say allow thoughts to come and go, you say it in a very calm manner. But around a month ago you had a session where you asked us to refresh every second, and that is kind of aggressive and asked us not to settle. So should we also be so dynamic?

Well, it's a good topic to speak about. So I can explain a bit too in terms of it for those who have not experienced that. I think what I started doing sometimes is when I just start to notice that, you know, the ones sitting around me especially are becoming a bit, maybe feeling that they're becoming very stable, but actually becoming a little stale to some emotional lethargy, most dullness or something. So then I started doing this, saying, 'I don't want anyone to become still. I want to be refreshed. You come new, you come new, refresh here, here, now.' So the seeming aggression is just to shake out that lethargy, that sort of dullness that the mind can convince you that it is deeply meditative or stillness or something. Of course, many times you are meditative and stable, but sometimes it's just like a lethargy, just mental sort of hallucination that we inhale in a way. And those times when this comes, nothing is happening, they come leave it or leave it defensive structure. And the outer aggression about it is only so that you sort of get out of that energy. You just don't see, because this kind of dullness is very fertile ground to just inhale what the mind is saying, to partake of that: 'Life is like this only, I'm never going to get this stuff.' But outwardly you're looking like almost like a meditative thing. But true openness and emptiness, there's a freshness to it. It's not like a stale emptiness. A freshness which is very deep, fully fresh every moment. So something that it becomes a bit more constricted and we actually get into some more small sort of mental state, so just to shake you out of that effect, that should really help. There's many who reported directly to me, and it was maybe in the next few days we have more for them. Those nothing—no, the fancy word 'nothing'—just fresh. Come, come play at it. That could become our dynamic community. The whole thing is like whatever in life, not only you to meet the special. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Om Shanti Shanti Shanti. Mooji Baba Guru Kripa Kevalam.