You Are That for Which All This Play Has Been Put Together - 31st July 2020
Saar (Essence)
Ananta guides a student through the transition from active spiritual seeking to a state of simple presence, explaining that the perceived 'emptiness' is merely the mind's reaction to the end of spiritual struggle.
The universe is diving inside you; you don't have to dive anywhere.
You are that boundless ocean in which the arcs of the universes come and go.
This is the most sweetest problem: the problem you have when you have no problem.
intimate
Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.
Now then, next one says: 'Father, I can't find anything left here. I found that attraction for the personal state has dropped by your grace. I am finished with the past, future projections, dreams; they have played enough in the last month and drained themselves. I just realized that all was only in the mind, but they were playing as a tool which inspired me for searching for the truth. This is where I am stuck now. May you please help me?' Now, I missed the part where you were stuck. The one who's stuck?
Father, King, yes my dear, thank you for inviting me. It's not just so much stuckness, but I couldn't find another word. It's just like this emptiness in which I'm not used to so much, because I was always like this force because of the things that I mentioned. Now all has dropped, but also the searching—like this kind of searching also is not so much here. So I don't know, that's why I want to share it with you. Thank you.
So, is it like 'I don't know what to do with myself anymore'? You know, because I've been so used to having this spiritual problem and I have to solve it. Like Indian children, no? Like when we went to school and we finished our exams, for a few days we were just like, 'What are we supposed to do now?' See, because you get so used to coming home and studying and, you know, everything was around this trying to create a routine of when to study and how to study. And then the exams are over and then you just feel like, 'Oh well, this is too empty. How am I supposed to spend my time?' Is that what you mean by emptiness?
There could be another idea of emptiness which is like a perceivable emptiness. And this is a tip for all of you: that if you have some idea of the Self or awareness as some empty space or something like that, just forget about it. It's not that. So let's hear more from you. This should be an easier way to find.
Ah, okay. So the emptiness that I was talking about, the first one—I know it's not so important, it's just as you said. For now I experienced this, but I was just so much used to, you know, this feeling of love, this feeling of inspiration for the truth. So that's why I just wanted to share this, but I feel that it's just okay. But yeah, it's fine.
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It's fine, it's fine. Are you labeling the absence of some perception as emptiness? Is that what you're saying? I'm going to allow participants to unmute themselves. You can unmute yourself whenever you're writing. May you please state again?
Yes. Are you seeing the absence of a particular perception like a feeling of love or a feeling of something else? Is that what you mean by emptiness? Yes. And this means there is no urge, maybe no forcing, running. Yeah, like this.
Then is the first one—the 'exam over' emptiness? Yeah, it's good. It'll just wobble for a bit because we got so used to this spiritual chasing, being a spiritual seeker, you see? And then chasing experiences, wanting to drown in bliss or love or something like that. Then we come to some just simplicity, you see? We come to this openness, and to the mind it can seem very almost boring. Okay, so then what? Now what? But this is just some initial wobbliness which will go very naturally.
I don't know. I don't have much to say, but there is an urge also here to dive deep, you know, dive deep.
Well, I don't know. You know, where all diving and coming back out of the water—all of that is gone. And you have to take yourself to be objective in some way for any of that to happen, isn't it? Like you have to have at least some shape, even if it is a beautiful spiritual shape, to be able to dive. But the thing is, we sometimes do this shape-making because we want beautiful experience, but the same shape is what gets shaken up also tomorrow, you see? The same sufferer in that shape. So don't form any shape. The universe is diving inside you. You don't have to dive anywhere.
Yes, you know, there's just so much love, but it's very silent love, not excited, excited love.
So is the love... it's the non-troublesome love. And yet, and yet I'm not saying that the excited love cannot emerge. Everything can emerge from this, you see? Everything can come up and everything can go, but we are not attached to anything that comes and goes. You see, that universe reminded me—Ashtavakra said you are that in which the arcs of the universe, they come and go. You see? You are that boundless ocean in which the arcs of the universe, they come and go.
Can you see how far we've come with our mind? What we have taken ourselves to be? We are that in which universes are born and universes go back to sleep, you see? But we have taken ourselves to be this tiny little object. And now as you are letting go of this identification, you will experience this spaciousness, this stillness. But don't get attached even to that, because all these states can come and go and yet you remain the pure witnessing, the pure awareness.
And I feel like I told you this once before: don't worry, the universe is not messing up your dish. It's cooking it perfectly. Whatever has to show up, it'll come with the right ingredients—the right amount of salt, the right amount of sugar. Everything is being cooked very well. For a long time, you can feel like the spiritual seeker is one of the ingredients that is getting cooked, but you realize that you were never that. You were that for which all this play, all this Leela, has been put together.
I don't want to say 'stand your ground,' you see, because even that will become a position. Just open and empty. It's fine. This is the most sweetest problem—the problem you have when you have no problem, you see? This is the 'no problem' problem. 'I'm not stuck and that's why I'm stuck. I can't find anything, any place where I'm stuck. Help me, Father, I'm so stuck.' But I have a sense of this because we got so used to trying to resolve, trying to fix, and now there's nothing to do, nothing to fix. Very good, very good. Thank you, thank you.