What Story Can’t You Do Without? - 10th July 2018

What story can't you do without? Is it a spiritual one, a relationship one, your money one, your body one? Which story can't you do without? Find it in your own life. It could be something that you are looking for, something that you're sure has happened to you, some grievance, some resentment, some guilt. And it is these stories which make us feel heavy. Empty of these stories, we are so light. At least as long as you can identify that it is this that gives me trouble. It is not the world, it is not events, it is not even feelings or emotions. It is always a story which gives me trouble. Does the mind try to distract it? It will say it is because that is happening, this is now, and look at how he's behaving, look at how she said this, and all of these things. But what is all this? It is a group of atoms and molecules floating around. Are the pieces of atoms and molecules troubling? No, it can't be. It must be that all that seemed like an attack, all that seems like a defense, must be just conceptual, just ideas.

Okay, so let's take this through because many of you struggle with this even after many years of being in Satsang. If somebody says something mean to you, somebody says something you don't like—'You are a horrible person, something you're just terrible, I don't know what you are doing in this Sangha, you don't deserve to be here'—suppose what actually happened? Those sound waves carry some daggers in them? What actually happened? Your body is not physically hurt. So what is it that got attacked? And suppose that you were brand new to Satsang, you don't even know what is Sangha, and somebody comes and tells you, 'You're just terrible, you don't deserve to be in this Sangha.' It doesn't have any effect. So it's not in the content of the words, it is not in the hearing of them. Then what is it in? What is the potential for suffering? Suppose you told a one-year-old child this. Nothing happened. So what makes it different for you? What happened to that one-year-old child and now when this one, the presumed grown-up, hears these words, then it can hurt? Watching this is the loss of emotions that I speak of. And these are the things we hear them from the world, we hear them from the mind: 'You don't deserve a relationship, you don't deserve to be free, you're not worthy.' And I'm not picking out necessarily just one end of the spectrum. The other end could also be, 'Oh, you are just too good, you're just too good, like you're just sweet, you're the best person, you'll get the best relationship.' This is the nature of the so-called self-thing.

Because the negative affirmations are not true, let us then posit to you here for some of the stories. So what is beyond a story? Is it because we can keep self-talk coming up to 'too good' and 'too good' and 'too good' and we go to that handsome man and he says, 'Sorry, sorry, I'm already in a relationship,' and then what happens to our 'too good'? So all of this is a house of cards. This lies on top of lies. And you can sugarcoat it and it's now the best, the icing on the cake, but if it's just made-up stuff, it will not be durable. You can cover up a house of cards with the best icing, but still it'll crumble. So negative stories are not helping, so-called positive stories are not helping. Have you tried the middle? This middle is really unattractive because the mind can't do it. The mind could say, 'Okay, tell me anything positive, I'll think positive. Anything negative, anything negative.' It never follows that, but at least it pretends to. But this middle is: walk in the middle of true and false, in the middle of right and wrong, in the middle of left and right, in the middle of previous and next. What is there? And it's surprising wonder, yes. But in the middle of wonder and disgust, what is there? In the middle of being and non-being?

You looked at every concept about yourselves and if you want you will also—you can Byron Katie it—you can look at it, you will see it's not true. You will turn this around and you will see that the turnaround is as true as my original position, for both are fundamentally not true. Because you could have started with that turnaround and you would have led to your, you know, turnaround which could have seemed as true. If you've seen that all these positions, either on the left or the right, are not true, what does that leave you with? When you're empty of all concepts of the truths, are you left with the truth or the false? When you're empty of all concepts of true and false, what are you left with? When you're empty of notions of right and wrong, is this right or wrong? Shanti to you.