What Are You Before You Go to the Mind? - 3rd September 2021

If you pick yourself to be just a limited body-mind, then obviously it can feel like, 'How come I don't have this? Others seem to have like that.' So in Satsang, this is what you're recognizing: you're recognizing your universality. And then you can enjoy whatever flavors come to you instead of wanting to grasp at them. Because the nature of the mind, the nature of the ego, is saying 'I want,' you see? But you can only want what is already yours. It appearing for you implies that it is appearing in your beingness, and therefore there is nothing to grasp at; it is already yours. So you rest in that comfort of your own presence and you'll enjoy all the talents that seem to show up in this world, and not just in the human condition, but you will see that in plants and fish and birds, everything that you see in clouds.

I just want to put you at some ease with regards to this and trust that if consciousness is playing so intimately with that body-mind that we call Adrian, then it is enjoying the taste of that as well. It is not wasted in that way. So it's enjoying the taste. Your being is enjoying the taste of being Adrian, playing as if it is Adrian, and disidentifying from this identity as well. It's all part of the joy of consciousness. So when we say Guru Kripa, it includes even this. Whatever body has been given through this centrality of visual perspective and all of this is not a mistake that consciousness has made; it is all for its own joy. It's like all there is. When all there is expresses itself in these individual-seeming expressions, then all flavors and colors and sizes will show. Thank you. Thank you for the honesty and integrity with that question, and I'm sure it will be helpful for everyone. Thank you.

One more thing I wanted to share. Like, I sometimes I really miss my mother and also relatives that passed away, and also father and, you know, grandmother. And what's the best way to be with this? Like, is it good not to—I mean, to see them as, you know, like in the ocean, like being the ocean and just waves where—I don't know.

It's fine. And sometimes it's actually all right to miss an expression which was close to us. It's completely fine. It's natural to miss that expression. But if you're saying from a true perspective, you will find that as you meet your being, as you come to your heart, you can meet any expression. Not only those that—okay, I don't want to sound too mystical about any of this, but every expression that you come across, any aspect of consciousness that you truly want to meet, you can meet them completely and fully in your heart. And that is why the beautiful invocations across all the religions of the world, they invoke the presence of God, they invoke the presence of various aspects of the one consciousness. And that invocation, when it is done with complete openness and trust, it is bound to pull on the vibration of that which is being invoked. So nothing is ever separate from you and everything can be met in the heart. But it is naturally in the human play to miss some expressions, especially parents and children. These are very natural, and you must not feel like you're not being free enough if you miss your mother or something. It's completely fine.

One thing I noticed is like I feel bad that while they were alive, you know, maybe I couldn't have a complete relationship or be totally open or somehow it feels like something is missing, you know? Like I missed my chance, you know, with them. But if you say that I can meet them in the heart, I feel it's good like this.

Yes, completely. Just go to your intuitive heart, which is the seat of all presence, the seat of all intelligence. Everything is here. Nothing is limited here by time or space. Nothing is in the past or in the future, so nothing is lost ever.

It's nice that you mentioned the heart because this is something I wanted to ask you and I kept forgetting. Like, this heart that also you speak and Guruji also speaks, like 'keep your mind inside your heart.' Is it good like to have also like to be aware of the chest or this area? Because I feel when I keep my mind inside my heart, I feel like some openness here in my chest.

Yes, that's a good question. I want to clarify this for everyone, you see. So let's really look at this. So how do you know that you exist, you see? And this will be helpful; I will come to this particular point using this inquiry. Now many are doing the inquiry or contemplations in an inferring or a mental sort of way or an intellectual sort of way. So if I ask you, 'How do you know that you exist?' you see, some will just look like that and some will say, 'Ah, because I perceive, therefore I must exist,' you see? But if there is reasoning involved, then we are still using the intellect. It is not the direct looking which is being spoken about, you see.

So this existence, like how do you know that you exist? There is this feeling of I-amness, yes? Just a direct, direct sense of the taste of I-amness, the taste of beingness, you see. Now for some, as you are tasting this—for want of a better word, tasting this I-amness—some can feel like there's a core to it which is in the heart area, you see. Some may feel like there's a core of that beingness.

Because being honest, I feel that.

Yeah, yeah. So the beingness that you actually taste it, when you look for the boundary, you see that it has none, you see? It has no boundary, you see. That's why for those who don't feel this as if there's a central point of that beingness in the heart area, they get very confused by this. Why do sages talk like Bhagavan used to speak about the heart? So he also used to get this question that if consciousness or beingness is everywhere, then why do you speak about the heart? And Maharaj actually never used to speak about the heart because he used to say the sense of beingness is everywhere. So I've noticed that in all of us unique expressions of consciousness, some feel the centrality in the heart area. Like here also, it is felt in the heart area. That's why the hand very naturally comes here often. And that is fine. And for those who don't feel it, like some who just feel it everywhere, that is fine too. That is fine too. But it is the same, same heart that we are speaking of, whether there is a core of it being felt in the physical heart or not. That is not the most important thing. Yeah, but if you feel it, if you feel it, it is completely fine and you can stay with that. You can stay with that. Yeah.

Thank you so much.

Thank you very much. So I just want to pick up from this before we go to the next question now. So how are you aware of your existence? Are you still inferring? You see, when I ask you all, 'Do you exist?' where does the confirmation come from? Is it a mental process that you undertake? Is it like, 'I have to exist obviously because I am awake'? Is it a process of reasoning? Then you just have to notice, because sometimes it is just the subtle reasoning which seems to provide these answers and we feel like we are making spiritual progress, but we are actually collecting more intellectual spiritual understanding.

So this trick I want to give to all of you: that how are you aware that you exist even without having to think about it? It is apparent, isn't it? And look at this for a few moments. Is it independent of thought, independent of all mental conclusion, or are you still relying on spiritual knowledge or worldly knowledge, conceptual knowledge of any sort? Yes, if any of you feel like you're doing this conceptually, then I'd like you to raise your physical hand and then I can see it and you can come up for a bit. So for the rest of you, it is clear that it is intuitive. So Madelina has put her hand up. Come up, my dear. Great, very good. So let's dive right into this point. So try to stop being. Can you try to stop being?

Can I cry first? It just was—even this question like 'can you try to stop being' goes to my mind.

Yes. So the tears are about the fact that everything seems to be received by the mind, is that what you're saying?

Yes. Just do it like a child. Don't be. I don't know how to be and how not to be.

At the moment, I'm not concerned about the words of confirmation or negation. So do you feel like it is clear to you that you exist only after you think about it? Like right now, right now, right now, right now, did you go away? Are you still here?

I'm still here.

Still here, still here, even now, isn't it?

I was going in my mind to see, to seek for an answer to your question.

Where are you before you go to the mind? From where do you go to the mind, you see? Do you go from a state of non-existence into the mind? Like you exist only when you're in the mind? Okay, these are subtle things, okay everyone? So to see if you can keep your attention on this for a bit. So many times the mind can tell us that, 'Oh, but I don't know, I seem to be able to answer only from the mind,' you see? Even a question like 'Do you exist?' or 'Can I stop being?' Then my question then is that: what are you before you go to the mind? Are you non-existent then? How would you even tell that there is a contrast, that 'I was not in the mind, then I go to the mind'? Then it will just seem like mind, mind, mind constant.

Okay, everyone, so see if you can keep your attention on this for a bit. So many times the mind can tell us that, 'Oh, but I don't know, I seem to be able to answer only from the mind.' You see, even a question like 'Do you exist?' or 'Can I stop being?' then my question then is: what are you before you go to the mind? Are you non-existent? Then how would you even tell that there is a contrast that 'I was not in the mind, then I go to the mind'? Then it will just seem like my mind, mind, mind constantly if you don't exist otherwise.

I have this stupid idea in my head now that every word comes from the mind. And also there is this philosopher from I don't know what century who said, 'I think, which means I exist.'

So that's very good you've got it up. I haven't spoken about it for many months maybe. So, 'I think, therefore I am' is probably the most misunderstood phrase in all of philosophy and all of spirituality. In India, we often use it to sound very special and say, 'Look at the West, they were so stupid. They used to say it's only because they think, therefore they are.' You see, in India we realized so long ago that existence is prior to thought, you see. But actually, Descartes was saying exactly the same thing, and I'll tell you how.

So his project was very similar to the Vedanta project. He said, 'What is it that I can know for certain? What is it that I cannot doubt?' which is very similar to the Vedantic project. And like the Vedantic, he also concluded that everything that I perceive could be a dream, or because he was Christian, he said it could be that the devil has taken hold over me and that's why I'm hallucinating. So he concluded that there is no way to not doubt what is showing up. But what can I find that is undoubtable? You see?

So then he said, 'Okay, now I look at the body sensations.' It was very much like Neti Neti. And then he came to a point where he said that if there are doubting thoughts, I cannot deny that there must be someone who is having those thoughts, you see. So the thoughts are appearing and I can perceive these thoughts; that's why I have to exist, you see. I have to exist to perceive or to have these thoughts, you see. So at the last point is where he inserts this inference where he's saying that, 'I therefore can infer that I must exist because otherwise, then who is having these doubting thoughts?'

You see, he was not saying my thoughts make up my existence, which is what most read 'I think, therefore I am' to be. He was just saying that even to have thoughts, I have to exist prior to that. And that was an inference he was making, admittedly. Whereas instead of making that inference, we are trying to meet this discovery of beingness more directly in an intuitive way. So that is the only difference between the Neti Neti and the Vedantin project and Descartes' Meditations, where he was also trying to find out what is that which is not doubtable.

How you saying it is like Descartes drew a logical conclusion to this?

Yes, in the final step. You see, in the final step he drew a logical conclusion and inference saying that, 'Okay, I have doubting thoughts, but to have doubting thoughts then I have to exist. How can a non-existent have doubting thoughts?' Yeah, I think that because there are thoughts which I perceive, I have to exist to perceive these thoughts. So the Cogito, ergo sum was more a pointing saying that I cannot deny my existence because even to doubt my existence, I have to exist, you see. Can the non-existent doubt its existence? No. What are you saying? That I have to exist even to have these doubting thoughts, you see.

So the only difference that we are doing in Satsang is instead of making that final inference, we are actually seeing: can there be a more direct recognition, a direct realization of this, which is actually the culmination of the Vedantin project? Whether you call it Aparoksha or intuitive insight or whatever you might like to call it, you see, for that recognition which is beyond empirical means of recognition. Whereas Descartes may have used the intellect in the final step, here we are referring to that which we call intuition.

Do you exist right now to hear these words?

I do.

Now, is that existence only confirmed because you have thoughts which may be perceived? You see, do you not perceive the space between two thoughts?

I do perceive the space between two thoughts and try to perceive some slowly.

Good. So the one that perceives the space between two thoughts cannot be a thought.

It's the same one who perceives the thought.

Exactly, exactly. So although the thought may try to convince you that you are made up just of thought, you see, that you are made of just a thought, but it's not tenable because even the space between thoughts you perceive, and everybody perceives that. So who are you between two thoughts? How do you find that one? This is the critical question, no? In all spirituality, in the search for the Self that is beyond perception and beyond concept, we have to see whether it is even possible for such a discovery. But we may actually discover that not only is it possible, it is completely obvious.

You perceive the absence of thought and the presence of thought. That 'you' is which one? How do you know it's you?

Because it's not Jada who's telling me I'm perceiving my thought. It can't be someone else.

Yes, because it's obvious. So that is self-recognition. That is self-explanatory, believe it or not, you see. Now, if what you attach to that 'I', you see, is where the problem can happen. So if you then attach—because that 'I' which is aware of these perceptions doesn't have any of these qualities—but when it is being, you see, when it is playing the game of existence, then it also has given to itself the ability to attach attributes to itself and say 'I am this, I am that.' But empty of these attachments, empty of these conditions, you see, that which is aware, you see, is you. And that is the simplest self-recognition. And the only trouble you'll have with this, of all of you, is that if you want something out of that, then it will seem elusive again.

It's more like the mind wants to grasp it and wants to understand who desire is.

Yes, yes. But let's not worry for a few moments about what the mind wants because we have the rest of our life to worry about that, and we've spent most of our life worrying about that, and we have a long time also left to worry about that. Let's look at what you want. The mind can want everything. Are you not full with yourself and empty of the desires of the mind?

So that aspect of ourselves where we may find this recognition difficult, you see, forget about that aspect because it is not difficult, it is impossible, you see. Now check on the rest of you. There's an aspect which we call the mind-intellect which will have judgments and conclusions and wants and aversions and all of that. Keep that aside. Now, does the rest of you have any problem with this simple discovery: I am aware of my presence, of my being?

No.

Now, don't try to squeeze this discovery into that aspect. Nobody can do it.

Which aspect is the mind-intellect which you kept aside? Okay, there is no aspect at the moment.

Good, I'm so happy to hear that. So you don't have to squeeze this Atma Gyan into some sort of conceptual knowledge. But it is very tempting to do that because in the past we have only given ourselves the certificate of knowing something only after we've known it conceptually. So your mind may say, 'But you are not still speaking like Ananta,' you see, or you know, 'You get angry or you feel lust, you do all of this, how can you really?' And you get into all that mental battle, which means that you're trying to squeeze the insight which is so simple: I am aware. It is not Jada; it is I that is aware of my perception.

But of course, we are using that trivially. So that awareness which is beyond all boundaries, beyond all limitations—so apparently it is used if somebody told you it is not you that is aware of this voice, it is somebody else, you'd say, 'No, it's so obvious that it is I.' You see? But the mind tries to insert the attributes of this 'I' having, you see, limbs and head and all this bundle of flesh and blood, as I call it, as original to itself, whereas actually it is not. And that the 'I' that is aware, what attribute or quality does it have? What color is it? What shape is it?

It's no color and no shape.

When desires come, leave that for a moment. You cannot reconcile ignorance and self-knowledge. You can only leave ignorance, you see. So don't try to form a nice relationship between, 'Oh, when the mind says like that, then how can I use what I'm discovering to get rid of that desire, you know, and be stable?' If you go to that playground, you see, you will have that mental workout in that playground, you see. So allow that playground to play in whatever way. You don't go into it. You don't log in.

Like, is it that compelling? Where are you going for this answer? Because if you go there, he'll obviously—yes, yes, I'm super compelling.

So when we say Satsang is a movement from head to heart, this is what it means: that even for this simple question, 'Is it that compelling?' you see, in your heart you have the answer. You don't need to go to your head and say, 'Okay, is it compelling, not compelling? What do you think?' You cannot have a movement from head to heart by just referring to the head over and over again. How to go from head to heart by revisiting the head over and over again? That's not likely to happen, then, is it true?

I can tell you that the mind-intellect aspect of your being is really tiny, you see. It's really tiny. But like a dog's tail which seems to get all the attention because it wags so hard at times, it displays like that. It does. So let it. You leave it. I wouldn't tell you this if I didn't feel like it is a complete possibility for you to leave it. I wouldn't tell you unless I felt it's a possibility.

Okay. Okay, can I raise my hand again in this Satsang a bit later? That I'm not—I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying here with you. It's just it's so dominant here, this thought that mind is going to come again and desires are going to come again. And Maharshi said that if you still have desires, you're not going to be—the masters have said everything, is it?

He's also said that you're always free no matter what. So one thing that may happen now is that you may start to track your progress and say, 'Am I staying in the heart? Am I going to the mind? I'm doing well, I'm doing badly.' All of that is in the mind.

True. I'm not checking progress. I'm the one that is concerned about what may happen as Satsang goes along, whether you may lose this connection with the heart and go back to the mind again.

You see, all of that is what I'm talking about. It is not a state that I want you to hold. It is not something that comes and goes. It's your very being. So good, very good. So especially for those who have been with me for a few weeks, is this simple discovery now seeming straightforward and obvious? Because to discover your beingness is the discovery of pure consciousness, God, whatever terms you may want to use. Actually, it is the culmination of most paths of spirituality. Most spirituality just ends here. After this, only if naturally there is an inquiry or an inclination to discover what is aware even of this, what is that which is beyond even 'I am,' before even 'I am,' you see. So it is this I am-ness itself which will take care of that final discovery.

So this one major trick that the mind will create, the trump card the mind will play. So let me ask you a question before I reveal what the trump card is. This presence, this being, which most of you are saying is straightforward now, is that obvious to you? Whose being is it? Whose presence is it? Is it individual? I know you know the right answer, just check. There is no other being. There is no other being. There is only one being, and all that appears is this one being. There is no other God but this. There is no Atma except this.

Let me ask you a question before I reveal what the trump card is. This presence, this being which most of you are saying is straightforward now—is that obvious to you? Whose being is it? Whose presence is it? Is it individual? I know you know the right answer. Just check. There is no other being. There is no other being. There is only one being, and all that appears is this one being. There is no other God but this. There is no Atma except this.

So, in the law of this being, what is the mind's trump card? It is to play as if it can convince the being itself that the presence, that the beingness, is individual, is located in space and time. There is actually... it is space and time which are in this being. Your presence—this is the God that I speak of when I say God is sitting in your living room, but you are searching all over the world. Who exists? Whose existence is this?

And like someone said, the mind may still be painting a picture for you that is confining the sense of beingness as if it is located in the body. But truly check, you see? If this was true, then you would only experience the sensation on one side, that you are not on that side of the sensation. But the body sensations that you perceive, it is not as if you are more on this side and not on that side. Every perception is within you, and all of its entirety is tasted within you. So, the body sensations don't actually draw any boundary to your being. We have been conditioned; we've been taught this way that they do. As little children, we did not have this idea.

And the simplicity of this is that as long as you remain open and empty, as long as you remain open and empty, everything that I just said is completely apparent to you. It is completely obvious to you. But when you put on the mask of separation, of individuality, by picking up a notion—a limited notion of what you are—you see, and every notion is limited. So that's why it's a notion; it's a definition. And every definition then limits and draws a boundary. So, the minute you pick up an idea about yourself, then you are operating as if you are under the limitations of that notion, and you create an artificial boundary just as part of the divine Leela.

But to be open and empty is the absence of all conditioning and the pure obviousness of the discovery of yourself. Both are apparent in that. And some of you are just naturally coming to this simple recognition that this awareness, which is aware of being aware of all perception, this awareness is independent even of being and not being. So pristine that we cannot apply anything. The broadest boundary of beingness itself, the all-pervading consciousness, even that cannot be applied to this awareness.

And just a tip for all of you: how does it matter how many cars are on the road, the road that you don't have to cross? So, if you're not concerned about crossing that road, about having to drive on that road, if you have no relationship with that road, then whether there are a hundred thoughts a minute or one thought a minute or no thoughts a minute, it doesn't really matter. And again, I'm reminding you that the mind is just a tiny, tiny aspect of your being.

But it's like the example I used to take often earlier, where I would say there's a big wall, a white-colored wall, and I draw a small dot on it and I say, 'What do you see?' Most will say, 'I see a dot.' That seems to be the human condition. Nobody will say—hardly anyone would say—'I see a big wall.' So that's what has happened to us in the sense that in our conceptual idea of perfection, we feel like we are not complete unless we have resolved every aspect of our existence, even that aspect which is meant to be unresolved. The roof of the intellect will always be leaking, no matter how much repair work you do. With the manifest world, God, truth, love, peace—none of them are that small that we will ever be able to resolve them in our minds. You see, our mind is very limited for that.

But we may have an idea because of certain spiritual concepts or something that unless my mind-intellect is completely at peace, you see, and it's not noisy anymore—unless that happens, till then I'm not free. But then that is not the design of this. It's not the design of this. This roof is meant to leak. Allow it to leak as much as it wants. It's fine. If there was a God which you could capture in your mind, that God would not be worth it. If there was a truth that you could capture in your mind, that truth would be very small. See, that's what I was telling Madeline earlier: don't try to squeeze this pristine, unlimited knowledge into this tiny box of concepts. If you try to do that, you'll only become like stiff spiritual seeker-type personas, you see, not just open and empty and free. So let it happen, whatever is happening in the mind. Let's go to some new faces I see with hands up. Let's go to Matthew.

Hello, my dear. Hi. Namaste. Just felt like coming up after being with you sometime now. And there's this video on YouTube that you speak and you say, 'Are you done with your cat business?' Ah, yes. And to be honest, sometimes I feel like I'm not, you know? Like I'm still chasing out this world or something. I feel like only your grace can be the one that removes these tendencies because I feel like alone, somehow, as if I couldn't do it by myself.

Yeah, so okay, let's look at this together. Thank you. Thank you for that sweet report. So, are you done with the cat business? I always presume that anyone who comes to satsang, the answer is yes for them. You see, I operate in that way. And even if before I got into spirituality, I was always glass half full, you know? So I always feel like if you're here and you watch a few satsangs, you must be done somewhere with the cat business.

You see, for those of you who don't know, the cat is the false identity which is chasing the next bowl of milk and just feeling like, 'If I only had this, then I'd be happy. If I only had this, then I'd be happy.' So, trying to be a happy cat versus coming to satsang and realizing through the mirror of self-inquiry that there is no cat. But even some of us can have this recognition—there is no cat—but we seem to have nurtured the cat business so much that we feel like, 'I still have to complete that project,' you see, before I can completely let go or something. It's just a way not to feel guilty or unworthy. It was just to check what is driving us, what is really in our heart.

So that is what I want to ask you. So your mind may have different reports. Sometimes it may feel like, 'Yes, yes, I'm completely done with this stuff. All I want is freedom.' And another time it will say, 'No, no, it's not so bad actually. Maybe I can do a bit of both.' You know, we Matthew for a bit when it's fun and then we God when it's convenient. You see, this kind of thing can play out for a while. But what does your heart say? If you don't refer to your mind for this answer, what is in your heart? What are you feeling intuitively?

What we speak about, this sense of just being here... and I do want to say that no matter what, what I do feel like truly guides my life is this love for truth.

Yes, very, very, very. If you can see that with hand on your heart, even though your mind will doubt it—it will continue to doubt it—but if you can say it with so much integrity, that is more than enough. That is for me 'done with the cat business.' And anyway, the Satguru's grace is always with you.

Thank you very much. All my love. Love you, love you, love you. You know, it makes me feel like not so long ago I had this wonderful dream and we were walking in the beach and there was another sangha member and there was you next to us also. I remember saying, 'What a blessing to be in satsang,' and then you said, 'Yes, yes, it's true.' And also I feel like the masters, like God, was already within me, you know? And it's like it's great, but at some point you will come to see that there is only awareness. And it stays with me also.

Very, very good. Thank you. I can see the love pouring out of you even over the Zoom screen, and my heart is full of love for you as well. Okay, let's go to Erica.

Hello. You hear me? Yes. I think it's my first time here with you. Before I raised the hand, I had so many thoughts and I wanted to share it, and then the exercise started. I just sit down and yes, only one thing. What is restless in me? Of course, all of that is around me; it seems like it's through the distance. But in me there is also... I can see that there is something that says like, 'Oh, I need to be aware to know that I am. If I'm not aware, then I don't know that I am.' And I can feel like it's so close. I can sense, I can watch it, but it's inside me. It's somehow in that knowing. And it gives me even now the hardest thing is: I need to know that I am. I need to be aware to know that I am.

Yes, yes, yes. Nothing is fighting that idea. No, but it's also from the other hand, it's like it's supposed to be this inside of me. It's fine, you know? It's like, yes, yes. Okay, so let's look at things together and you tell me what is happening, okay? So that we can really walk through this together hand in hand. So, when I ask you the question: can you stop being?

What happens when you try to stop being? What happens? I can... with this here, I'm aware that I am.

Yes, you see? So you answered the second question as well as the first one, where I was going to ask you: you are aware that you are as well. So you confirm that you just are. This being is here, and that you are aware also that you are. You see this awareness? How do you know it is you? You don't have this knowledge that 'this is me.' It is what it is. So if I would say it is not you that is aware, but it is Matthew, then you would say, 'No, it's me.' But that 'you,' you see, but that 'you'—does it have any physical attributes, any qualities, any shape?

No.

And yet it is not an objective sort of discovery of an awareness which is independent of ourselves. It is our Self itself which is awareness. Yes. Now, whether your mind confirms this and says, 'Yes, I have to be aware to exist,' or 'No, no, I don't really get this, this is so confusing, am I really understanding this?'—it doesn't matter what it is saying. Does this awareness, which is aware of your being, is that concerned by what is happening in the mind?

No.

Is that concerned about anything in the being? How to stabilize them? That is even more laughable than the previous one. How to shake that? Let's figure... before we can figure out how to stabilize it, let's first figure out whether it can be shaken up. Let's try to shake it up a little bit. What has to come to shake your Self? Can the idea that 'I can lose it'—can the idea appearing, can it shake up awareness?

No.

No. Even the idea believed in, can it shake up awareness?

No. It's just like it looks like nothing can change.

Nothing can. Try to find something that can, because this is the trick the mind will play at you. You see, it says... see, the one that cannot grasp it, like these hands cannot grasp the space, you see, will either say it is too difficult or it is too simple. But it can't do it. It had nothing to do with the discovery, you see? But it just comments on it either way. Then the same one which is saying it is so simple tomorrow will say, 'Oh, you had it, you lost it.' You see? These kind of things. Don't worry about what it is saying. How to not get to believe in them? The mind is always looking for some problem to resolve, something to stay like... I can sense it's like it's here, you know? It's like, 'Give me some food.' But you're cutting off the supply to this mind by not giving it your belief, your identification. And a simple tip, because sometimes it can feel a bit strange like this... so a simple tip is: okay, your mind may be saying whatever it is saying. What's happening in the rest of you? What's happening in the...

The mind is always looking for some problem to resolve, something to stay. I can sense it's like, 'Give me some food,' you know? But you're cutting off the supply to this mind by not giving it your belief, your identification. A simple tip, because sometimes it can feel a bit strange, is: okay, your mind may be saying whatever it is saying, but what's happening in the rest of you? What's happening in the rest of you?

I feel like, you know, it doesn't matter what's arising or what's happening, it seems like it's not touching. It's like I can see, I can observe from a distance. But can you tell me why, on a daily basis, this knowing somehow becomes so blurry? It seems like something is coming in front of that knowing.

Actually, there is no such thing as 'why' because 'why' presumes cause and effect. It presumes time, it presumes conditions; it presumes a lot of things. So the 'why' is a great question to ask, but the 'who' is a much better question. Sometimes it is explained that the answer to all 'whys' is Consciousness or God or the Masters. So that is the answer to all.

Now you know what's happening in my head. When I open my eyes, suddenly all the stimuli of reality keep coming and have more to feed on. The mind says, 'Now you see what's going to happen with all of this.'

It's fine, it's fine, don't worry. Let the stimulus come. Let the mind try to meet the positions, but you allow yourself to be open and empty. Allow it to go naturally as much as possible. Don't become like a spiritual policeman or something. Just gently, gently open. Softly, soft.

Yeah, it feels like even on a daily basis when I'm going, I still have the awareness that I am. It's still here. It doesn't matter when I'm angry or I'm happy or I'm sad. But now I just feel, when I'm in front of you right now, another entity became active—the mind, you know? But I can see it now from the stillness and that openness. Everything that can come and go is as tiny as a mosquito. You don't have to worry. Even when the burning comes, I'm always praying, 'I give you forward.' Even that, I sense there is a purity in that, that I'm offering to you, Guruji. But also I can sense the identity who wants to change what's happening, saying, 'Oh please release me.' I can sense inside me there's an entity who also wants to give to you so then I'm going to be free and everything's going to be alright. I can sense those two things in me.

Please don't make any conclusion either way about anything. It's just the innocence of a child, the innocence of a little child. No position to take whatsoever. Just open and empty. Whatever shows up in life will be fine. Like you discovered, nothing can hurt you. Even when you take yourself to be that which you are not—like you call the entity—even when you take yourself to be the limited entity, nothing is happening in reality, you see? So just whenever you feel poked or there's some suffering that seems to appear, just check if you picked up a wrong notion about yourself. Just let go. That's it. All my blessings, all my love. Thank you.

Okay, let's go to Rashmi and Daniel. Namaste.

Hello. I just wanted to take an opportunity to check in with you. I think I spoke with you maybe two or three weeks ago, and so I just wanted to come before you and see what comes up. I think one of the main things that you pointed me to last time was speaking about this oscillation. One of the things that stuck with me really was not to keep a report card, you said. So I've been trying to do that. As any identification comes, I come back to the observing of it, and yes, I found it quite beneficial.

Yeah, it's very, very good. Because what can happen very often is that the 'spiritual checker guy' who is keeping this report card constantly becomes the most oppressive aspect of the spiritual ego. It says, 'You're not doing well enough. See, you must be believing your mind so much.' Whatever had to happen is over, but still, now this one is the mind posing as if it is the spiritual teacher in some way and saying, 'Good, good, bad, bad. You should do this better.' See, that itself can become the core identity and oppress us so much. Rather, just return once we notice, 'Okay, I got involved in some stuff,' and just return to our openness, emptiness. That is much better than making these sort of conclusions, because they are about nobody, actually. We are not about anybody that is real; that is only about what we have taken ourselves to be falsely in the past. So even the conclusions about what you have done wrong in the past spiritually, or what you've done right—either can become about spiritual unworthiness or spiritual pride. Both of them are aspects of the spiritual ego which are equally oppressive.

Just return to this simplicity, the openness and emptiness of the moment, which is not stupid. In your intuitive intelligence, everything about the entire universe is known, but most often it is not expressible conceptually. That is why the mind will often appeal to you and say, 'But you can't trust that. What are you even finding?' Because it is not expressible conceptually, you are not able to have that debate with the mind and we may end up buying its idea. But I can tell you that the source of all intelligence, the source of all joy, all peace, all love, all manifestation is your very being, is your very heart, is your very intuitive intelligence. So you will never be lost in just referring to that which is not so concerned about the play in the manifestation. It is not so concerned about time; it is not so concerned about mistakes. It is much more open and free. To come to the discovery of this universal intelligence, which has always been there, and to trust that more and more is to trust the Satguru's presence, is to be devoted to the true Master. Then we start looking at everything that comes and goes as this divine intelligence playing as its screen.

The beautiful thing about this is that you may be deeply identified. Since we spoke last, you could be fully, fully identified—for example, not that you were, but you could be—and you've been so selfish and greedy and lustful and everything. But in this one instant of meeting the divinity in your heart, all of that is swept. It's not just about the time that we met; it could be lifetimes of delusion. It doesn't matter, because your discovery is not in time. Your meeting God in your heart is not in time, you see? It is beyond time, so it washes you clean in an instant. But the trick is, when you pick up any condition about yourself after that, it seems like the whole tree of conditioning that got wiped clean is back again. That is what you mean by the oscillation. But the good news is better, because you may pick it up ten thousand times or a million times, it doesn't matter, because you are wiped clean every instant here and now. So God has a winning hand. You don't have to worry. You don't have to worry, which is a great antidote to guilt. Otherwise, what is guilt? It is like trying to fix something that happened in the past. It's just incredibly silly. Once you recognize this—that in your one moment of openness, your one moment of emptiness, you are pristine like an infant child—all is new, all is fresh.

Great, thank you so much. The last two meetings, whatever you have shared has gone directly in. This presence of the heart is effortless. It is very great. It is not my doing and it's not not my doing; it's just the clear, confirmed presence. I have nothing prepared to say. I have a lot of gratitude for you and Mooji for this lifetime. I just got very emotional. It's the only thing in my heart I know that I came this time for. I've done all the cat business. I can feel it in my heart very strongly that this was the only reason in this lifetime: to meet yourself, myself—I don't want to call it whatever it is.

I just have to speak a few things out, though there's nothing missing in the presence. It's a loop which is happening, and maybe you can point it out. I don't think the journey starts at the same point for everyone. Here it started many, many years ago with the silence. When it came out, I felt, 'Oh, this hand is not me.' While walking from the station to the house, there was a sense of—I'm talking like it's not here now, but it's always the case—there was that clear thing that something is not moving inside. Something is not walking inside. While even talking to a friend, there was a strange sense; I said, 'But something is not talking also.' That night when sleep came, I could not say I slept. I said, 'This doesn't even sleep.' The body was resting, but this what I am is beyond wakefulness and sleep.

At that time, I didn't have these terms like 'I am' and 'presence.' I didn't have this vocabulary like 'the person' and 'presence.' Then the years went by and life did its play out. Finally, at Moojiji's holy feet, that one organized it in such a way that the 'I,' the sense of being, was released. This whole seeker and seeking for sixteen or seventeen years came to a refutation that, okay, this was it. So now there's a confirmation that this which doesn't move actually is the 'I am,' is that presence. I'm just indeed asking for a confirmation: is this how you sense as well?

Yes, yes, of course, my dear. This is it. And this sleep thing—this awareness which is—but there's this 'checker guy' as you said, the spiritual person. I'm just boiling the dal, so I went to the kitchen and then there comes a thought: 'Are you aware?' I could see this checker guy pops the head out.

Yeah, it's good to spot it. That is all we can do, just spot it. It's more than enough. There's no other tool that we can send in there and say, 'Okay, I'm going to pluck out this checker guy and pull it out.' Just to spot it and to notice its tricks is more than enough. I will say one useful tip I have for you is: a fresh God, you see? Fresh presence. That which is aware even of this fresh presence is always available to you, always available to you. Never try to benchmark your current tasting of fresh God against some past experience, because the mind can play lots of tricks with you. What you have in your heart presently, and that which is aware even of this, is more than enough. It is absolute and complete beyond all things. So remove all ways to measure. Is it good, bad, more or less? Was that more free, was this less free? Just what is right now exists like this.

Yeah, there's a measurement happening. As you have said, that's the right word. There's a referring happening in a subtle way. There's the checker guy. I learned that from you, actually. I said, 'Ah, this checker guy,' which is a very sophisticated form of a spiritual ego, very clever. Actually, he is full with guilt. And his other manifestation is his twin brother, which is like, 'You're so good, you're fantastic, you've done so well now.'

What is right now, you see, exists like this. Yeah, there's a measurement happening, as you have said the right word. There's a referring happening in a subtle way. There's the 'checker guy.' I learned from you, actually. I said, 'Ah, this checker guy,' which is a very sophisticated form of a spiritual—very clever, like actually. He is that's full with guilt, actually. Yeah. And his other manifestation is his twin brother, which is like, 'You're so good, you're fantastic, you've done so well.' Now, some of course have more of that and more of this, so it's all temperamental. But it's fine either way; it's two sides of the same coin.

So I have just one request, and to also Mooji Baba, because I know in my heart that this Guru is a—I've been—all I knew was that I asked existence for a Guru before I met. I really was asking. I said, 'Everyone has it,' and it came that way. And not to make it a big, big CV out of it, but Papaji came two months before I met Mooji Baba, and he took me to the sea and he drew an infinity sign on the sand. And so things like that, they happened. So it's a prayer in my heart that please keep me in your heart, and whatever there is to get rid of, because I know this is the highest in my life. Very, very full blessings, full love. So I fall down sometimes in the person, but I keep—but this is the love affair which I have with this.

Let the falling down and getting up also be the Satguru's problem. Eddie? Hey. Okay, let's go to Niranjan for a bit. I want to check on how he's doing.

Hello, Father. Just a second, Father, I'm just watching on the video. Hello, am I audible, Father? At your end?

Yes, you're still audible, but yeah, the video has come now.

Yeah, I'm doing fine, actually. In fact, I feel much more light also because, you know, every time those attacks happen, something—some looking happens and some sort of lightness happens. And in fact, I am feeling much—not only lightness, but it is like silence, you know? It's like as if nothing moving, nothing moving sort of feeling. And in that, even the sensations appear very bright, you know? Like the experience is very bright, the sensory perception sort of enhanced, like of that kind of thing. And because it's like the attention has nowhere to go; like previously it was engaged with the mental processes and also it's like you are there but you are in your mind. So that has reduced a lot. So it's like I am here and I have nowhere to go. Is it very like, you know, like in the present moment or something?

Very good. I'm so happy, so happy to hear this. Just keep everything light, light like this, soft, soft like this. And the mind will convince you from time to time to become very conclusive. And you know, all of these things which we call mind attacks, of course they can come back if that is how it is to play out. But may this lightness be a reminder when those attacks come that, like I keep telling you, that this too shall pass. This too shall pass. So I'm always, always with you. Just keep open and empty, fresh, light like this. And even about your insights, don't become very conclusive about anything because it can become like from the lightness, 'Yes, yes, it is like this, but it is like that.' What it is like, you see, and then it can become—but it's not worth it, you see. It's not those—the messages can change in the heaviness of it, in the authoritativeness of it, you see. Suddenly the mind will just flip and it will become from this pristine insight into something which is very oppressive and dark and things like that, you see. So just as much as possible, no grand conclusions spiritually, neither some very dark or oppressive ones. Everything is fine, actually.

It's like you said, conclusion to confusion, you know? Yeah, conclusion to confusion, that cycle. But perhaps I have had enough experience of it, I think, and very strong, you know? So it's like something has become sensitive to that movement because it's like the moment it comes and the inner subtle taste is like, you know, that subtle taste? It's like suffering, you know? No matter how subtle or how small it is, but still it's like it pinches somewhere very—

You make a recording of this and play it back to yourself when you're feeling like your mind is attacking you.

Because recently what I am seeing is that few beliefs that I have been believing, you know, for quite a long time and which caused these mind attacks, yes, those entranced beliefs. So what happens, like the way you say that first there is a thought and the attention goes to the thought and then if you believe the thought then it becomes sort of a reality, that kind of a thing. But when these beliefs, they arise, it's like these things they don't happen; rather the final result sort of, you know, the emotion or the effect of it, that is seen directly in life. And so then I have to a little bit of inquire that what's the message in it? And then you, you know, then you come down to the base belief. Like almost all beliefs, they come down to the person identity, you know? But still there are a variation of this personal identity. And because they are believed for quite a long time, it's like the attention and belief, that scope is not there and you know, like you feel like fearful or you feel like sort of depressed or anxious and then you are aware and—

So don't worry. If you feel like that is the case when you notice that it has come, you see, and it just like come like that, you know, there was no space for the play of attention or belief, just don't worry about the mechanics of it for the moment. Just know that you can surrender it to the Satguru in your heart. Just know that you can just leave it to that. Don't have to decode it or deconstruct it at this point. Thank you. Okay, let's go to who haven't I spoken to in a bit? Let's go to Sylvia.

Hello, my dear. I don't know what to say to you, but I felt that I have to come and say I miss you a little bit because I didn't come. That's you doing. And I want to thank you because with you and Guruji it's such a blessing. Sorry because I don't speak so much, but—

Welcome back. Sometimes take your time, there's no rush.

I'm a little bit disappointed sometimes because the love is not flowing so much from this one. Maybe it's a—I don't know—projection or something. And appears in this some ugly stuff or reactions or, I don't know, ugly stuff about the others. And this doesn't make me proud of something like this. I don't like it.

So let's explore this. Let's explore this a bit. And this in a way is also about the checker guy. Let's look at this now. We've looked at this before and said that among any time, like in a day, we can barely remember a few moments. And from last week, you can remember as time goes by, the previous day is even lesser and lesser, you see. And yet the mind is very quick to make conclusions about how our life is going, what is coming out through us. So you said something which said that the love is not always flowing. What within us has the capability to measure that, whether the love is flowing or not? What within us has the capacity to judge this?

So you're right, you're right. It is the mind which will say, 'Ah, the love is not flowing enough.' That itself, which is the apparent blocking to the love, then comes as a policeman and says, 'Oh, it's not flowing as much as it should.' But this one doesn't really know. It doesn't really know. So it will convince you based on how many moments of evidence that you have that love is not flowing through, you see. How many moments of evidence from last week do you have that love is not flowing through you?

I can't see you. You're just playing playfully. But what I see is just like some destruction or something when something comes and I inquired as—I don't know. I feel that it's space and there's nothing personal about something bad that it's coming. But it's some—I don't know—it's something that makes me not—not me truly with the true in that moment. I say, 'Oh, it's okay because it's space in here and it's something that will pass.' But in deep down, I see that I'm not true to myself in that moment.

I see. So let me try one more time with this, otherwise we'll try another way to meet this. So when you are able to make a report that love is not flowing through you, and suppose I make the report but love is flowing through you, you see? So now I am asking you for your evidence from last week and saying, how many moments did you check that love did not flow through you? How many such moments where you were—how many such moments can you recall? And then I will present my evidence to you.

I can remember some moments.

How many? Count. Let's count. Three, four, five?

Like three, four, five.

And this is five out of how many moments were there last week? In every day, how many moments are there? Thousands, maybe more. So in a week, maybe millions of moments where in five moments love was not flowing through you, and the rest it was okay. But you don't remember them at all. How can you say? How many moments do you remember from last week? You see what I'm getting at? What I'm trying to tell you is that what we rely on for these oppressive judgments about ourselves, that tool does not have the capacity to really fathom any of this. So it takes some moments and say, 'Okay, see, now this is conclusive about how you are,' you see. But it is not conclusive. I'm not saying that love is constantly flowing through you. I'm just saying that your judgment, your conclusion that it is not flowing, it cannot be taken to be true because we don't have enough evidence for that. Now, so I'm just looking for a way in which you don't rely on this instrument for judging yourselves. Now, if you were to not rely on this, what is your heart saying about you?

That it's, you know, it's okay. It's a feeling that it's beautiful. It's okay. It's not about a person or about me or—

Yes, yes. That already is sounding so much more resonance to my ears, what you just said, you see. It's sounding like it's coming from your heart rather than this oppressive, authoritative mind. So rely on this one, because that is my voice speaking through you, you see. That is my voice, that is my judgment speaking through you. And allow it to guide you. And all of this stuff of 'this much love should be there but this is too little, you're not loving enough, and this is not how you should be free'—all that can be thrown away. And just like I was telling the one before this, that in one moment of openness and emptiness, one moment, all our mistakes, everything that we think we have done wrong, everything is wiped clean. It's a fresh, fresh start because it is fresh gone. We're not relying on any stale information from the mind, not some nonsense about the past which is all old and gone, primitive stuff. Just here, you see. Your presence is the home of love. It's the home of peace. It's the home of joy. There is never a lack, you see. And one moment of you being in that holy presence is a greater gift than most of humanity is giving to the world. So even one moment of you being open and empty, you see. So if you were the greatest sinner who ever lived—greatest sinner, only hate has flown through you, suppose—you're not of course, maybe, but suppose—even then, one moment of tasting your divine presence is a great gift which washes away everything, all the hate of the past, you see. So just fresh presence, fresh divinity, fresh Satguru in your heart is always there. You never have to worry about the past or how this expression is playing out, you see. And don't try to represent the truth through this expression. See, you can't do it. Nobody can do it. The truth is formless, nameless, shapeless, you see, attributeless, and is also full of all the attributes, you see. So this tiny bundle of food cannot ever represent the truth. Nobody can do it. This body can't do it, that body can't do it, nobody can do it, you see. That's why all the masters also come in different shapes and sizes, you see. Otherwise all the masters will also be saying just the same thing, they would look the same.

Represent the truth through this expression? See, you can't do it. Nobody can do it. The truth is formless, nameless, shapeless, you see, attributeless, and is also full of all the attributes, you see. So this tiny bundle of food cannot ever represent the truth. Nobody can do it. This body can't do it, that body can't do it, nobody can do it, you see. That's why all the masters also come in different shapes and sizes, you see. Otherwise, all the masters would also be saying just the same thing; they would look the same, their stories would be the same. It doesn't work like that. Everybody's just pointing to the truth as they see it from their expression, you see, and that's it.

So some masters can sound very strict. Maharaj can sound like he's going to chop your head off every moment. Some other masters can sound just full of love every moment. So are you saying that Maharaj was not representing true love when he was so? So don't expect this little instrument called the body-mind to be a valid representative of the truth. You stay open and empty in your heart and then let whatever has to happen happen through the body-mind, you see. And anytime you feel like, okay, you became too identified, egoistic, you think all of these things—what is the best remedy? This moment. This moment, become open. Because like I was saying, guilt is an absurd thing which tries to fix problems in the past, which you can never do.

So firstly, we can never know what anything was for, and everything that comes through every expression is only part of the play of consciousness; it is always only grace. So trust that consciousness is not making any mistakes. And if you feel like you are too identified and you were very egotistical, then just this moment you remain open and empty. Just this moment you remain open and empty. So it's not a time-bound program; it's an instant program. It's only about right now, only about right now. Remember what I always tell all of you: don't try to fix it for some past you and don't try to fix it for some future you. Just right now be open. That's the greatest gift you can give to the past and the future.

Yes. So somehow this, it goes, I guess this cannot fathom right now.

See, go to this and ask the mind to tell you what is right now. What is happening right now? Tell me what is happening right now. Right now, now, now. It cannot fathom it. It can only work with, 'Oh, yesterday like this' or 'This morning.' It's all stale news, old news, and some projection into the future. But you know, you will not be free because you still have so many things and all these nonsensical ideas, you see. Now that is why I'm saying that don't rely so much on what this one is saying. Stay with this which has no concept of time actually, although its guidance sometimes may seem like it is in time, but it is not touched by time. Lifetimes, a hundred lifetimes, a million lifetimes mean nothing to your intuitive intelligence. So that ocean of pure love, pure intelligence is with you here. Why would you go for these tiny, you know, morsels of food which are not even tasty?

Your presence is apparent to you. Yes, when you mean apparent, you mean obvious, but yeah.

Yes, yes, it's obvious. Is it—does it have any dark spots, your presence? Any blemishes, any dark spots? Does it have any mistakes or sins? Can you check on it and see whether it is not pure, pristine consciousness being?

Your question reveals something. When you asked if the presence is without dark spots, it is the presence, but somehow attention goes from this for this some, I don't know, but some I can say, or some sense that it's okay.

Try to send it there. Try to send it where you're saying it goes. Send it there. Let's see. Where does it go? Just keep sharing with me and take your time. I know English is not your first language, so take your time and just share openly. Now you say attention goes to person. Tell me where it is going. As it is going, tell me what it is finding.

Some ideas from the mind. Yes, into the mind only.

So now just notice what is outside the mind. The mind is not unlimited, isn't it? It's just a bundle of thoughts. So a thought comes, but where does the thought come? What is surrounding a thought? Where does the thought arise?

It's in the presence. I don't know.

So presence is good. Presence of being is good enough. So now, how much of the presence does the mind take up, or does the thought take up? So suppose presence is a hundred meters; out of the hundred meters, how much space is taken by the mind or a thought?

Not so much. Say, let's take an approximate. Of course, presence is unlimited, so whatever it takes up will never be... but give me an approximate number. If your being is a hundred, how much space is taken up by the mind? Just look and see. I know it sounds a bit absurd, the question, but just with innocence see if you can check.

Intuitively I would say five to ten meters, but I don't know. Sometimes maybe it's more than that.

I want to tell you that from my experience, I would say it's point zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero—we can never come to the end of those zeros. It is that much space. So what you could do is you could just look at this presence with your intuitive eyes where you notice your being and see how vast is it. It actually is vaster than all of space because this perception of space only appears within it, you see. Even this vast space which we call the universe is just an appearance within that space of my being, of my presence. And everything that appears in this play of time and space is very limited compared to that being which is actually beyond time and space. But we're just speaking so that it doesn't become too strange or absurd, the conversation.

So I'm just saying that for the infinite, the largest ocean is nothing. There's nothing for that which is infinite. In the same way, for the infinite beingness, this mind is just a tiny aspect. But because we are conditioned to try and resolve things from that angle in that space, we feel like, 'Ah, I'm a bit shaken up if it is unresolved there or if I don't fix it,' you see, in that way. So now don't believe what I'm saying, just check. As the thought is coming, as your next thought comes, just check on how spacious the space is in which that thought appears, and which boundary does it have? What are its limitations? It's so vast. It's so vast. And how big is the thought that comes to you? Even if you perceive it—some hear it, some perceive it like a set of words, imagery, you see—but it's tiny. It's tiny.

So instead of trying to resolve it at that level, to transcend that and to see that the vastness of your being is untouched by whatever your mind may be saying is not any sort of Advaita denial, because you're coming to a deeper source of intelligence and knowledge which is running this entire universe effortlessly, you see. So you can trust your heart for all the guidance you need instead of trying to look at this tiny twittering mosquito called the mind. Not that it's wrong, but if you feel like its representations are valid—what it is saying about the world, what it is saying about you—all of that, then it will seem to be bigger than it actually is. But actually, representations are all nonsensical because who is the 'you' that is not being loving enough? Does the body have love to give? Who is the 'you'? The physical heart is pumping blood. Where is the love?

So it's not that reason. So it's representation mainly because it is representing you as just this body and then saying you're not being loving enough. But this body can't produce love. What food do I have to eat to produce love? It's not like that, isn't it? It's a deeper aspect of our being, our divinity, which is the reservoir of pure love, the storehouse of pure love. And only from there is love possible. So we cannot have that under your mind's control and say, 'This is enough, this is not enough, it should be more, it should be less.' It knows nothing about these things. It is just talking to you as if you are a bundle of food, you see. This body is just a bundle of all that we've eaten and consumed, isn't it? So don't worry about what your mind's judgments are. Let them be. And so gently and effortlessly you were able to go to your heart. So you stay with that. Stay with that.

Can I say something? No, when it comes something like I feel the identification and I am in it, I somehow feel that I don't follow my heart. I don't. I listen to the mind and not to the master, not to you, not to God. Because it's like a coin, like a coin which is with it goes in the negative part and because in that moment mind comes with a feel of vulnerability and aloneness and fear of dying and something says, 'You are alone, you have to listen to me.' Out of fear I go to it.

Yes, I understand, my dear. I understand. And this is a very natural, very common seeming problem. One good advice that may be a good tip is to say, okay, these moments will come in life where you're going to be very thirsty. So very thirsty. So now, in those moments where there's no water there... but now when there is full water, what is the best gift you can give to that one who was thirsty? Is it to think about that thirst and why you were so thirsty and why these moments come, or is it to drink the water which is available to you now? It is obviously to drink the water which is available to you now, isn't it?

So in the moments where you are not so caught up in the identity—because in those moments we can't do anything, you see. Tomorrow morning this one might wake up and be just completely caught up in identity and things like that. So there's nothing that can be done then, you see. But when the realization comes, when the recognition comes that I'm taking myself to be that limited one, if I was to keep thinking, 'Oh, but why did it come? It should not have come. How do I fix that?' then I'm not allowing myself to taste my divinity even when the intensity is not so much. This is the way the mind plays it. It catches you that way and then it tells you, 'You should not have got caught up,' you see. Then it catches you that way.

But when the mind doesn't seem so strong, you enjoy God fully. Fully. Now you're not in that state, so what to do now? Enjoy God fully. Enjoy your presence fully. And then again the mind will get you, you see, maybe. And then what to do? Nothing. Suffer, usually suffer. But then you're out of it. Instead of suffering because you suffered, instead of that, enjoy God fully. So that is it. Because otherwise we keep trying to solve problems from the past and projecting into the future and missing God who is just waiting in our living room while we are working our problems from yesterday and the day before. God is like, 'Okay.' You see what I'm saying?

Yes.

So enjoy, celebrate the fact that you're not in that state right now and hug God. Give God a big hug in your heart. Give God a big hug. Otherwise you keep hugging the problem. The problem is gone yesterday or the day before, but we keep the problem saying, 'Oh, why didn't it happen?' Instead of that, God is here. Hug God fully. Yes, it's a very simple sounding instruction, but it's very, very important. It can take out the main tricks the mind can play on you because the mind's suffering is very little, but it stretches it out with all of this, you know, looking back at the past and all of that. So now you're not identified. You're not identified, isn't it?

No.

So is that not worth a great celebration? Can't you love God in your heart fully because you're not identified in this moment? Very good. Very good. So a sage or a master never says that they can never be identified, you see. They may also—something may happen and they get identified and things like that. But the moment the crutches of conditioning or the bite of conditioning is not that strong, the next moment they are free and they're celebrating and they're loving God in their heart. That's it. That's the only difference.

Thank you. Very useful this week. Thank you.

Because you're not identified in this moment. Very good, very cool. So a sage or a master never says that they can never be identified, you see. They may also—something may happen and they get identified and things like that—but the moment the crutches of conditioning or the bite of conditioning is not that strong, the next moment they are free and they're celebrating and they're loving God in their heart. That's it. That's the only difference.

Thank you, very useful this week. Thank you, and please keep me with you in your heart, and may this one be more and more with the—I don't know it's what—but with God always. Okay, so I had a question: How does one take their spiritual process to the workplace? So if I see any patient, at that time I can't be reminding myself I'm consciousness treating consciousness; I have to be like fully there. So since you are so much both into the world at the same time carrying your realization, could you give some pointers on how to take the spiritual process to the workplace as Karma Yoga?

Yes. So, the easiest way is to be as open and empty as possible. Now, open and empty implies that you don't know what type of yoga it is. You don't know whether it is home or workplace. You don't know whether it is left or right. You don't know anything about anything; you just are there, you see. Even that you don't really know, but so it is completely unfiltered presence, unadulterated presence, which doesn't have these distinctions. Everything in life for God is just life. God is not trying to balance work-life; God is not trying to juggle all the forms of yoga, you see. He's not trying to do any of that because God is here. When you're open and empty, the presence of God is palpable. When you're closed and identified, it doesn't seem as palpable, but it is still God, you see. So it's a win-win situation. First, be reassured about that, you see. Either way is God's Leela, which is playing as if it is identified or whether it's open.

Now, if you want a tip as to how to carry this divinity into whatever may come, just be empty of your limited ideas about yourself, and that is the simplest way. If you try to do it through conceptual knowledge, then you will look at life through the conceptual lens, and the conceptual lens is not ever big enough to capture the entirety of life. So you'll never achieve that by thinking your way through it. How so? 'When I go to work, I chant this mantra seven times, then when I'm getting out...' You see, it can become too deeply identified as personal, although the attempt may be to stay with the divinity. So, just don't worry about it so much, firstly. Secondly, in any moment, no matter what it is—whether work life, whatever else is showing up—just open and empty.

Let's see. I haven't heard from Edgard in quite a while.

Hello, Satguru Ji. Hello, how are you? Good. Yes, I haven't talked to you in a while and I listen to your words. You say such good, these beautiful words. And sometimes I remember that what you say, like all masters say, that it's just a pointer; it doesn't have to be taken too seriously or too little. For example, you sometimes say that you feel one with everything or things like that, and in my mind it goes like, 'I'm not, I'm not, I'm not seeing everything as inside me' or this or that. So that confuses.

That's a very good point. That's a very good point. We can spend some time on that one because that confuses many, many people. Because the master that said, 'I see no separation,' see, all of this is called Advaita, which means there are no two. So they have some idea that to be one with everything would mean that you be like—there are like tentacles coming out of your skin and everything is attached. I'm exaggerating to make the point, of course, but it's just like you feel like, 'Okay, I can feel the sensations from the wall and I can feel the sensations from that door and, you know, that pigeon on the this thing, I can feel the sensation of its wings,' and only then can I feel one with everything. But it is not about that, you see. It is not about that. It is much simpler than that, and maybe even disappointing to something, which could be that you notice that actually there is no division except the mental notion of separation which you build around a set of sensations which we call the body and then say, 'This is me,' you see.

Naturally, like in the dream state, all of the dream and all its appearances—the mountains and rivers and gardens and everything—are part of the same you, the one consciousness, you see. And many times in the dream, we also take ourselves to be just that dream body, one character who's running around, you know, something, doing something, you see. But many of us have that experience when that identification is dropped in the dream: you realize that all of it is part of your consciousness. Now the same thing happening in the waking state is this awakening, you see. Many of us have this, and if you don't, it's okay, don't have to worry about that. But many of us can relate to these rules. You have the experience in a dream where you notice that you're not the dream body and it's a dream, and therefore all of this is appearing within you. It's just so apparent that when the same thing happens in the waking state, that is the awakening, that is the realization.

So, and many of you are realizing that, and all of you are realizing it at least moment to moment. Some of you, it can be seen all the time; some of you may feel like it just comes and goes sporadically. So the moment you're not taking yourself to have a separate boundary or a separate sense of separation... Okay, you're in a noisy environment, no worries. So, this idea of oneness feeling like it's something very special, you see, please leave that. You will have some spiritual experiences where you will notice that all of this is within you, or the whole universe is nothing but a tiny firefly or something, like Maharaj said. So all these experiences may come, but what I'm pointing you to is much simpler than that. It has nothing to do with any extraordinary mystical spiritual experience, you see. It is just that you don't make any sort of emotional boundary to yourself and therefore you cannot say, 'I am only here and you are only there.' That is your mouth speaking, this is my mouth speaking—all these absurd ideas which seem very natural to us at the moment will not be taken seriously, and that is simple oneness. Very simple recognition.

It is not some extraordinary ability in something like that, like her head is not... no, the body's head is nodding over there, but I don't feel like it's somebody else's. Within my being, one mouth is speaking, one head is nodding, you see. Now what is what divides them into two? Only our emotional idea that a body makes up a unit or an entity or something. But they're just an emotional idea, and children don't have that when they are born. We were taught this additional condition. So that is the simple oneness. Just remain open and empty and all of these insights will become apparent, you see. The mind's nature is to pick on these things and say, 'Oh, see, all the masters talk like this. Is this your experience?' And of course you say, 'No, no, no.'

So don't worry, don't worry. Just stay in your open and empty, in your notionless existence, in the unborn, whatever you want to call it, and all these insights will just be natural to you. No rush. Have you seen that? What is that? 'Don't Rush Challenge'? No, if you are too, too spiritual to be my son, nobody has seen it. You have one meeting which is not satsang, just pop culture. I don't rush. Are you saying something? You can raise your physical hand. Let me... okay, let's see. Nico and Jada left, let's go to them for a few minutes.

Hello. Thank you, Father, for again inviting me. First of all, I just want you to tell me, you know, when I'm done, because I'm coming week after week and every time I'm saying, 'Okay, this week I want to go to Father,' like just... it's too much. But I of course just saw, literally, I'm coming to you because every time I need you, and sometimes it's just not neediness but to give it to you. So please just let me know when the time has come.

So, let's start at that point where a few weeks ago we had this beautiful conversation and you discovered that you are this Self which is beyond all these limited boundaries and nothing could appear in this realm that could really hurt you in reality. Is that still your intuitive insight or has that... like nothing can change it?

And as you know, actually I shared with you at the last week, just too much happening—the body, the mind—yet the seeing is just so apparent. And even though the screen is just so full, Father, and too many illusions actually play, like I wake up from one illusion and then from another, yet yes, the seeing is just so here and nothing can change the clarity somehow. Not yet, Father. Like too many illusions come and no illusion at all can change this clarity, and it's just so clear and I'm just, I mean, kind of in awe—how it's called? Like A-W-E? Yes. Yeah, because it's like this. Yes, sometimes fear comes, Father, when those illusions come, when things are happening in... like the fear comes, you know, like if I take on someone else's karma or because I experienced before too many of these negative forces or something and I just suffered from them a lot and still I carry...

Pause for a moment. So, the seeing is untouched, which is another way of saying that your Self or awareness is untouched no matter what comes, you see. Now, that which is attributeless and not in time and not in space, to that all these patterns, whether they exist or don't exist—like karma—cannot apply. It can only apply to that which has some quality, isn't it? Now, what makes you change your reference point from this pure seeing or awareness into something which is which can be a victim to the patterns of the worldly play, you see, and therefore stuck in these kind of loops? Is there something that can really be that strong which can confuse your truth about what you are and take yourself to be just a tiny aspect of this worldly play?

I'm not sure about the question now.

I'm just asking that you say that the seeing remains untouched, you see, which means that the seeing is not the seeing of sight; it is the seeing which is the pure awareness which is aware even of sight, sound, all of these things, and it is your very Self because you are aware. You say that that is very clear and I saw a few weeks ago that it was apparent. So now obviously even things like karma, etc., cannot apply to this because this is untouched; it is unmoved, you see. So all the patterns of the functioning of the manifest, even if they were real, how could they apply to you, which is beyond all such qualities?

They cannot apply to this, yes. As if I have fallen before, I fear from falling again and to fall from this seeing somehow. And even though I know that nothing can apply to this, but yeah, I can fall again. Which... I can fall, the one who has fallen before.

Good. Okay, so pause there. So then there are three of you, you know. So there is the awareness—I just gave an answer before taking it, don't worry, it's for everyone. So, many of us can get into this kind of belief system. So let's just look together. There's an awareness which is beyond all laws of the material world. There's a body... there's an awareness which is beyond all the so-called patterns and laws of the material world. Gravity does not apply to it, magnetism doesn't apply to it, nothing applies to it in a worldly way. So that is one. Then there is the body-mind which we have taken ourselves to be a long time, you see. We may have believed we are that, or some idea in between, you see, between this and the body-mind we have taken ourselves to be that, you see. And then now you are saying that there is one who either stays there or can fall into that, you see. So which one is that one? So you may be referring to this sense of being, the consciousness, which has the...

Nothing applies to it in a worldly way. So that is one. Then there is the body-mind, which we have taken ourselves to be for a long time, you see. We may have believed we are that, or some idea in between, you see. Between this and the body-mind, we have taken ourselves to be that, you see. And then now you are saying that there is one who either stays there or can fall into that, you see. So which one is that one?

So you may be referring to this sense of being, the consciousness which has the ability to identify as the limited one and also, when later let go, lets go of the limited ideas, can recognize its own source as pure awareness, you see. You may be referring to that consciousness, but you don't have to worry so much about that consciousness because that is God. It is the worry sometimes which is the play of consciousness—to play as if it is the limited, you see. So in the worry of not falling is the falling many times. 'I don't want to fall again,' but you are no longer then speaking as that; you are speaking as the falling one. We are speaking as an identity, yes.

So when you notice identification—and I've been sharing this in the satsang—what is the best approach? You noticed it; it's over. Forget about it. Remain open and empty. Hug fresh God completely in your heart. Stay with it, stay with it, and enjoy whatever appearances are coming.

And one reason for that, why I'm coming to you, because we of course have... you are so much with me and I have never experienced a graceful life like this. This grace, like I'm moving as you, you know? And of course, it's just... I'm just down on my knees and just too much joy in this. And yes, I fear that if I won't come to you, it won't be with me because for me it's your grace. It's not my being, even though it says... anyway, I don't want to go there, but for me it's like it's coming from you. And because still these thoughts are coming, you know? Not thoughts, the memory comes of how hellish I was in, and you have taken me. This fear is still alive and it exaggerates the experience that I have, like karma or this thing. It's just exaggeration, even though it may have some truth in it. So this fear is just so alive.

I understand. I understand that many times this is almost like, 'I have to show myself, I have to come because I need his blessings or his presence.' You can understand that. And as you settle more and more into my true presence, which is in your heart, then you will not feel so fearful about this and it will become easier and lighter. Anytime you can manifest almost like a need for attention, but it's actually not just purely a need for attention; it could come from a place of fear that 'If I'm not seen by Father, then may I not have his presence as strongly as I do' or some idea like that. But you realize that Father is just a term which truly applies to the Holy Father in your heart, and of which this is just an instrument which is just for that.

I don't accept it now. I can't. I see it just... Father, bless me and stabilize me in this somehow, this graceful state, you know? So yeah, this is my prayer. Because so much fear comes because recently also I again started to experience some misfortune start to happen in my seeing and these kind of things, you know? Like, yeah, like bad vision or something which I wasn't experiencing, by connection with someone who has this kind of temper anyway.

Don't take yourself to be anything other than your highest insight about yourself. And when you forget that, forget that you forgot that, you see, and come back to this. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just keep coming back to this open and empty, and coming back to your unborn Self, unborn mind. Okay?

But so I'm still asking for this blessing, that you will stabilize me in this graceful state and I will never fall from that.

Yes. Okay, if this is so, done. I'm done. Okay, let's go to Aniko and then Devi.

Thank you, Ananta. Thank you. Just about, but it's fine. Let's start. Okay, so because now it's a bit difficult because when I wrote the question it was very serious and now it doesn't feel that much serious. But yeah, sorry.

Does it still feel a bit true? If it doesn't feel true, discard it.

It is just the fear behind it. If I don't ask it now, it will come back in the future and yeah, so many problems. So usually it is because you already told me everything and showed me even what is not true and what is true, and it's really very clear in a way. But in another way, this salesman is still here and just keeps talking and just doesn't want to go away. I don't know why he's still here. And how many of you are taking... when there is a belief, he's taking everything. This is nothing, just him. That time it's so big, that time. And he can create the belief because he is very suggestive and sometimes creates some idea and I just look at this idea, 'Oh my God, really this is me and this is how it's working.' Okay.

So let me try to say something before you get to your question. Now, in your experience of life, from your report, you will either have this one who's taking all the house. Then if it's taking all the house, nothing to be done. Suffer through it; there's nothing to be done. Now, when it doesn't have the house, then what should we do? Should we think about the time when it has the house and waste even that time, or what? You see, because it is also that one's trick to try and keep holding on to the house even when it cannot hold the house. You say when the belief is strong, there's nothing can be done and I'm just identified, I take myself to be this limited one, you see. There's nothing I can work, nothing you can do. Fine, you see.

Now, if it is not the case, what is the best gift you can give yourself? Is the best gift that you can give yourself to wonder about those times and feel like, 'Why can that not happen? Why does it keep happening to me? When will I be free from this?' Or is there a better gift than that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to think about... no, no, I want to stay present in my heart.

Exactly. Very good. Once you have that insight, then the main trick of the mind is gone because the mind cannot truly persist. It takes too much energy for the mind to keep convincing you that you are limited. But then what happens is that it plays these episodes, you see, and then it keeps replaying them and says, 'See, yesterday this happened to you, this happened to you.' And we will sort of in that same hypnosis continue, 'Yeah, I don't know when it will stop. Let me ask Father what can we do.' But Father can point you to right now. Full God is here. Full God is here right now, you see. Nothing is missing for you right now. So a better strategy rather than holding on to these moments from the past, you see, is to embrace the fullness of your divinity right now.

Yeah, yeah. This mind, this salesman is working with fear. And then the fear, because he keeps telling me, 'You won't ever be fully and completely free.' And human, you being who... who will not be...

Yes, I know, I know. But that he can create the belief, 'This is me.' And yeah, body-mind will never be truly free. No, body-mind is just going towards death. It will never know eternity, you see. So if you buy into the representations that this one is selling as if there is a possibility that they could be true... Now, does the mind even have the capacity to examine how much fear is there? Can we really look and say, 'Okay, how many grams of fear have to be there or kilograms have to be there for the mind to say it's a lot?' The mind can sometimes take the littlest thing and say it's a lot, or this big and say it's a lot, or this big and say, 'Oh, it's nothing.' The mind is a completely unpredictable clown, you see. There's no real consistency to its reports of the so-called truths.

But if you keep dancing to the tunes of this clown, then our life will become funny like this, and that doesn't seem that funny actually. Yeah, there's no consistency in the mind. It's not as if it's a fair player. Sometimes it'll take the most absurd thing and say, 'Oh, you're so fantastic,' you see. Other times it will take very sweet things and say, 'But you're really terrible.' So don't dance to the tunes of this one. Because the mind is saying there's so much fear, does it have a measuring tape to be able to measure how much fear is there? It can't even count a hundred oranges. How can it count how much fear is there? Show me a hundred oranges in your mind right now. No, you cannot be sure of the hundred. No, because you are maybe four, maybe five, six, seven... you're already gone saying, 'Oh, but your life is like this, you have so much fear.' Six oranges it can't count straight, and we use this judgment to judge our life, you see.

No, I'm not blasting you. I'm just saying that the reports of the mind are so absurd, and for us to be able to take them as some sort of representatives of truth is even more absurd. So the mind will say a little bit, it will find something, maybe it's a muscle cramp or something, and then say, 'Oh, that's too much fear, there's too much fear.' Then we say, 'Okay, how do I fix that fear?' It doesn't really know any of these things, no.

Just dropping ideas.

Exactly, exactly. So stay to your insight because you have pristine insight about what you are, and don't fall for these just absurd notions from the mind and ideas about, you know, how much of something is there. Trust your heart. Your heart will tell you how much fear is there. If you say from your intuition you can sense that there's this much oppressive something, I'm happy to hear a report like that.

It is very easy to see this when I am here with you. And also the salesman uses this one as well: 'Then this is not your destiny, because if it was your destiny to be entirely completely free, you would, I don't know, be born in India and sitting in a cave or in Bangalore.' You can see this: 'This is not your destiny and you cannot change your destiny.' And done.

And there are some caves in our building now because of downtime. We cannot leave their caves; they just because they have to live in these caves. So some of them are living, but the complete possibility of freedom is there for them and for you. There's no difference in the cave or non-cave. But more seriously, what I'm saying to you is that forget about destiny, karma, time—all of these things. They do not apply to the insight which you had about yourself. If you keep taking them to be real, these emotional ideas, then you will take your notional idea of yourself to be real as well.

Yes, yes, yes. Who does destiny apply to? So mind says, 'This may not be your destiny.' Whose destiny?

Of course, of course. Destiny or is impacted by karma or something like that? No, no, no, no.

Just you know, when I go out from here, I will meet a lot of people.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, no, I'm not just advertising. We have just seriously asked, like, we take these to be real, you see. But after in a satsang where you recognize the broadness of your divine presence and the absoluteness of that which is aware of even this presence, to take yourself to be something that comes and goes and all of that is... is it really true? Or are we operating on some ideas from the past?

It's just ideas and beliefs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there is a big difference when I am here with you and when I am not.

Oh, yeah. Just a belief of somebody. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's something like Jada was talking about. Yeah, maybe some kind of... sometimes really just I was thinking to create a question...

It doesn't matter what you say after that. Once you say 'I was thinking,' it's clear what the problem is. 'I was thinking about the magnificence of God.' If you were thinking about it, no chance. I trust you. And yeah, in India, I don't know if you've ever been here during the time in India when you play Holi? Did you ever experience the festival of Holi?

Yes, yes I did. Yes.

So usually there are these places, no? If you leave the house, basically then you expect to get covered in color, yes. So the mind is like that. If you go to the...

Once you say 'I was thinking,' it's clear what the problem is. Yeah, 'I was thinking about the magnificence of God.' If you were thinking about it, no chance. I trust you. And yeah, in India, I don't know if you've ever been here during the time in India when you play Holi? Did you ever experience the festival of Holi?

Yes, yes I did. Yes.

So usually there are these places, no? If you leave the house, basically, then you expect to get covered in color. Yes. So the mind is like that. If you go to thought, then don't expect not to, you know, don't expect that you will have your pristine white clothes as they are. Expect to be covered in misery and suffering. Some people have new ideas, no? In Northern Delhi, they used to, when I lived there, it was really strong, this festival. So especially as a child, some people would have these ideas that, 'No, no, people should respect my wishes. I don't want to get color.' Within ten seconds, fully colored up. There's no chance. They can know, it's like a very satsang festival. You can have any ideas about how you should be treated, but you'll be fully drenched in water and color within a few seconds. So you may have some ideas about, 'Oh, my insights will save me from my mind and I can visit it and still have a good time' and things like that. It just doesn't work like that.

Thank you very much. No, I just feel whatever I would say is just nonsense. So yeah, except when you speak in the heart, you speak from your heart. It is the voice of my master speaking. Even the silence is my master's voice. Thank you so much.

Okay, let's go. Hello.

Yeah, my connection is not so good today. I don't know if you can hear me. I don't care also, well...

Yes, yes, it's good for now. Okay. How's it going? Still, or starting to understand something?

Oh, I don't know. This last week it's been a bit difficult, you know that. Sometimes what happened, I don't know. But then when we feel like I have to make a report, like I've told you, 'Please make a report till I tell you to stop,' which is good. Um, then it can feel like I must find some things which I have to report, you see. But your report could just be, 'Right, I'm here, yeah, now.' But if you're believing that it is a certain way, then see whether it is just a conceptual understanding you have or can you really confirm it to be true? So when you say last week has been difficult, I can ask you the same question I asked Sylvia, which was: how many moments of last week can you remember?

She's counting a lot of moments. It's like somehow there are days when I just feel so, so like crazy. Like, I don't know. It's very difficult to not say that the whole day was hard. And it just feels like no matter what I do, what I try to do, like see it or inquire or chanting or whatever I try, I cannot come to peace inside myself. And it's just so painful and crazy. And then on top of that, 'Why can't I apply anything?' I don't know, yeah. And I cannot, like, I know all you say also in this satsang, it was like I cannot accept. Something doesn't accept, or I don't know. There's so much negativity. And so this identity of the one trying and feeling like I'm suffering, it's so strong and there is no space.

Just pause at this point. Examine this closely. So there's an aspect of your existence where you can accept or not accept. What aspect is that? Does that take up all of your being, or is it just the intellect, the mind?

My attention all the time. Like, maybe it doesn't, it feels like it's strongly inside the body, but it like, it doesn't allow me to see, like to even to feel. I don't feel my heart or like the presence of God or I don't know. I just feel this, this suffering and it's like the whole, all the tension is always there.

Yes. So is this what you're saying what we would usually call the mind, or not?

Yeah, but somehow I would like to also feel my, the truth. Like, not all the time experience only this, like only the mind.

Yes, yes. So this is what we are going to try and do now. So notice the aspect of your mind. And I say, is this hand up right now? Can you accept that?

Yes.

Is this hand up now? Can you accept that?

No.

Yeah. So can you zero in on that aspect of your existence which has all this judgment about yes and no? You can notice, you see, the rest of you, the rest of you as you confirm yes, as you say no, the rest of you is untouched, isn't it? It's only the intellectual, judgmental aspect of your mind which is impacted by the yes or no. Yes. You can go slowly on this because, yeah, it's fine, it's fine because this can be very sticky. But this is very useful to see. You see, now, is this Ananta's mouth speaking right now?

Yes.

Yes, okay. Does he have two hats on his head?

No.

So just notice this aspect of your existence where there can be a judgment 'yes' or judgment 'no' based on some perception or some thought is coming. Yes, yes, no, no, this kind of thing, you see. Now what you do is just see what else is there to you while the same yes or no is happening. Is Ananta's hand up?

Yes.

Yes. This judgmental part of you, do you feel like it takes an overwhelming part of your being? It is too, too hypnotizing. It just takes up too much power.

Yeah, I can't experience anything else. Although the being must be there also from what you say, but I can't feel anything, only this like craziness. I don't know how, I don't know.

It's okay. So when I ask you, can you stop being or try to stop being, is it just the mind chatter, chatter, chatting, or can you actually try to not be?

I can feel my being, yes. But at the same time inside this being is all this turmoil and this pain and ah, and that.

Yeah. Is that your being's report? Sorry. So you just... okay, let's try a simpler experiment. So just stay with 'I can feel my being.' So try to stop being. Just feel your being. Don't worry about what's happening inside it. You don't have to fix anything. Let whatever quality of being is there, let it be that. If it is incomplete, if it is not fun, whatever it is, let it be. It doesn't matter. It's not for you to fix. So this being, just stay in its presence and don't worry about anything that is within itself. If you didn't have to fix anything about it, would you have any trouble?

There is like a energy of like, like um, like this trying. Like this energy of trying has become like so like a despair inside and it's very alive there and it catches my, you know...

Let's try the being. Let's pause now. Try to stop being. But forget everything before you do that, like all your past, all your spiritual knowledge, all your conclusions. Don't know what trying is, don't know anything about anything. Just try to stop being. That's all. With the innocence of an infant baby, don't understand anything about it, just don't be. That's all. You're not to decipher something, not to understand anything. Just don't be. Try to not be. Without any straining or effort, just if any report is coming naturally, you can report that.

There is... what was coming was like there is a lot of fear about being stuck and suffering and feeling like I don't get it, like I can't do it right, like it's something wrong with me. And there is a lot of pain. You can fear about that and something can't relax.

Don't worry at all. It is impossible to do this wrong. So don't have to worry about it at all. It is not actually that you are to find God or something. It is just that for a moment we become open to God, God's presence, which is always there, being apparent, being palpable to us. So it is not the creation of something new; it is just seeing what already is. Don't expect any outcomes. Don't expect anything to change. Just remain aware of your presence for its own sake. There's no other outcome you're looking for. You can see that in spite of the mind's tantrums and complaints and the emotional release of fear and all of these things happening, you can still notice your being. You can still observe your presence, isn't it?

Yes, but when I see it by myself it's very difficult. Like I just go to this and I feel like I can't let go in this, like something... it's not, I don't know how to explain, like it's just...

I understand, I understand. This is very contraction inside. What you could try is, till we meet next time, you could actually play this recording back to yourself and see as it's almost fresh and let it become like a guided process for some time. And then it will become more and more natural. And then next time when we meet, then you can report again. But effortless. Allow everything to play out. Whatever may be coming in your thought layer or your emotion layer, it actually doesn't get in the way. Only your mind convinces you that you're not doing it right or you're missing it.

Actually it's not very strong, like I'm, I'm not doing it right or I can't do it or yeah, it comes so quick and so like the habitual conditioning is...

Like a habitual conditioning which will naturally just get cleaned up more and more. Don't worry. As you learn to taste your own being and you see that you are aware even of this, all of this conditioning will become lighter and lighter. But don't check on it too much and don't understand too much about it because then that will add to it, not reducing. The more conclusive you become about your state, the more the state will seem to solidify. And the more open you can be about it and leave it as much as possible in the hands of the Satguru, then the more openness, the more spacious it becomes. Your mind is not a tool strong enough to make a valid diagnosis about what's happening with you, so don't trust on his reports too much.

Yes. And one thing that I wanted to share is like sometimes after satsang, like I feel sometimes worse and then the mind says, 'See, it's not working, like you're not getting anywhere.' And it's so painful because...

The next marketing video is... this should be the next marketing video for satsang: 'After satsang I feel worse.' Don't worry, don't worry at all. But it plays that way. It's not, it's not the first time I've heard it. Don't worry. Over the last nineteen years I've heard it many times. But what happens is that in satsang you come to a few moments at least of insight about what you are. So the mind is almost waiting like guerrilla warfare for satsang to get over and then to do like that. And then you feel like, 'Oh, you know, I don't know if this is working or whether this is actually helping me.' So it plays that way, as if it's just hiding away for some time and then it bounces when satsang is over. So it's very natural for these things to happen. There's no other, no other place to go for us to be free from these kind of mental conditions. So whether it is this type of satsang or some other, it is satsang itself which is the only remedy. So one way or the other, you'll find yourself in satsang.

Thank you. And please, I don't know what to say, but I feel I need help. I need grace. And yeah, and I don't even, I don't even have enough trust or belief or devotion. Like, I believe more in my mind but somehow something brings me...

That is more than enough. That much is more than enough. And I want to say to you that don't trust your mind's reports because from the first time when you came up to today, there's a huge difference. It's huge. You may not see it. In fact, your mind may say, 'Oh, nothing has changed,' but I can see. So trust my report for some time and don't go with your, you know, judgmental mind so much. Just stay as not understanding anything as possible. Okay, I can see that this body is done. The head is also spinning a little bit, so I feel like we're done for today. I can play a quick... but I'm gonna get closer to this last time maybe.

Thank you all so much for being in satsang today.