We Must Become Empty of Self Concern - 25th August 2023

Now, when that empty seems difficult, then we have presented so many different ways in which to return to the continuous. So whether it is Guruji's invitation or Atma Vichara inquiry or Bhakti or just chanting or thinking more clearly or any of the methods that have been subscribed or prescribed by spiritual teachers over the centuries, the only attempt is to empty ourselves and in that moment to be dead to ourselves so that God's presence can shine through. So the way this game works, the way this play works, is that if the 'me' is taking up space, you see, then it seems as if God's presence, God's light, is dimmed in that moment. If we want to pose as if we are separate from God, then God lets us. Then God lets us. But the instant we are empty of that, empty of ourselves, then we give God's light the opportunity to shine through absolutely.

As you started by saying that we have not been in this light of satsang for a while, what is this light? Well, this light is not by any means or by any stretch of the imagination this body's light. It is just that there is an instrument available which allows God's light to shine through. And the idea of this light shining through is that it can shine through all of us. So that is the antidote to all blind spots: that we have to be empty of self-importance, self-will, and self-concern. These things are built up only moment to moment with our belief in what the mind is telling us. Perfect, thank you. In this moment we can love God full-heartedly. Full-heartedly we love this holy presence which is the light of this universe, and there is no time for 'me', there is no room for 'me'. But if you make time for 'me' and buy into 'what about me?', then that is just trouble.

The fundamental building block or the fundamental basis for spirituality is the presence of a being which is higher than any human notion of itself. And yet it is astounding how many we can discover in spirituality who are in the spiritual reality but have got a block against acceptance of the presence of this higher being because of some conditioning or some bad spiritual experience or something. So to be spiritual without faith in God is very, very difficult. It's like to be a president without having faith in your nose; it's going to be very tough. So I would not recommend that way to anyone. The whole point of spirituality is spirit; the word itself is contained there. Now, is that spirit individual? No, it is the presence of a higher being, and that higher being is called the Atma. The presence of the higher being is called the Atma.

So to discover the spirit, to discover this Atma, is a prerequisite in the human condition. But unfortunately, in the play of Maya, we've forgotten that it is the prerequisite. To live in the light of presence is the only true way to live, and this is what is important. Through the tricks of Maya, through the tricks of the religious and whichever cultural path or religion we may follow, this falling away from recognizing the fundamental principle of life, which is to live in God's light, is somehow forgotten and neglected. So to come to satsang is to come to the presence of God's light. To come to the presence of God's light, you mentioned that right in the beginning. So there is no such thing possible if it is not in God's light. And your life moment to moment in God's light becomes then, and then you can partake in that satsang, and those who are blessed by your presence also can organically. So for years, for decades and centuries probably, this question has been asked: what makes a true teacher of God? The true teacher of God is one who is truly living in God's light and spreading God's light. But where God's light is not predominant, there is what? It is the ego. Then we may call that an academic teacher or a philosophical teacher, but they cannot call that a satsang. Thank you for pointing it out. We'll switch to the right mic.

So did you hear the Bhajan at the beginning? You must not have heard it so well then. It was audible? Okay, so then somehow the mic changed along the way. Okay, thank you. You already kind of answered my question, but anyways, I have to ask because last time we spoke you told me to with all my might hold on to the sense of the presence and find out what this presence is. Sorry, yes. Yeah, and so I don't feel I'm doing it, at least not with all my might. Yes, but also I feel that I gave it to the mind, I gave it to the person, like making it a job for the person to achieve something, and then it gets mental. Yeah, so I want to ask you to maybe more clarify what it means in practical life, because you have a job and doing different things and I cannot say that all the time I'm remembering God or searching for God. I don't know, maybe you can say a little bit about this.

Yes, yeah. So my first tip for you is that we must keep it really simple, you see. We must keep it really simple. And it is very important to keep it simple because if you keep it simple, then there are only two modes of operation. One mode of operation is living empty of our individual limited self and therefore giving God's light a chance to shine through. Or we have forgotten and we have taken the 'me' to be reality. These are the two modes in simplicity. But when we make it complicated, then we say, 'Okay, now I was trying to be in God's light, but you know, the person got in the way of trying to do that project, and then the person didn't let me do it.' So first I have to get rid of the person and then I have to try, you see? So it becomes more and more complicated. Then you say there's a person who was trying to get rid of the person who was stopping you from being in God's light, and it becomes a sort of recursive process, a recursive loop, and the mind has got us fully in its clutches.

So what has happened in the past has happened in the past. We can forget about it, don't worry about it. Right now, remain empty of any limiting notion. And all notions, actually, are limiting. So remain empty of all notions. As you remain empty of notions, you give the presence the room, the road, the lane to shine through. Easy. It's actually quite easy, except the mind itself will come and say, 'But it's easy now,' or 'I'm in satsang so it's easier, but when I'm outside it's much more difficult.' And there will be times where you will forget what to do about this time. Forget about them, you see? Don't do post-mortem analysis, all of that stuff with them. Just return to being empty. But fundamentally, this will only work if you don't want God for 'me'. And if there's a relationship, a seeming relationship in that way, it is just so that I can be for God, or 'me' can be for God. But if it is going to be God for 'me' so that I can be better, enlightened, free, painless, blissful—all of these considerations—then those will just get in the way. Do you want God more than anything else?

Yeah. No matter what the cost? I don't feel confident to say that no matter what.

So it is worth contemplating then, because our mind comes into fear and creates a sort of boundary around our faith, and this then becomes the boundary of our experience of living in God's light. I was telling another child that day that a Godless life is never worth it, no matter what we have to encounter to live a life of God. You see, you may collect everything that the world has to offer and you may collect everything that a million universes have to offer, but if your life has been empty of God's light, then it's all worthless. So what happens is the mind uses God as a tool to amplify the 'me' in some way. How is that getting in the way? And then we feel that the temptations from the mind seem too strong for us to let go of them because they may even be spiritual temptations. They say, 'You will become more spiritual if you do, if you think like this, if you pick up this system,' you see? But the idea is not for you to become more spiritual; it is for you to get out of the way. Yeah, so set your heart on God and God alone, no matter what consequences, what experiences, what feelings, what things we have to go through in this life. And we must get rid of the sort of self-help idea of a life full of ease because of the presence of God, because the mind uses that itself. So don't expect it to be easy. Why do we want God?

Because it's our home, our heart.

Yes, because it is the very core of our existence. It is the very truth of our being. This is true, but also notice that most in spirituality want God so that they can become something or in some way, you see? So the theme for today is this, at least so far, that we must become empty of self-concern. Okay, let me ask a simpler question. We are checking.

This is that itself, so don't expect it to be easy. Why do we want God? Because it's our home, our heart. Yes, because it is the very core of our existence; it is the very truth of our being. This is true, but it's also noticed that most in spirituality want God so that they can become something or in some way. Is it so? The theme for today is this, at least so far, that we must become empty of self-concern.

Okay, let me ask a simpler question. We are checking on whether God's presence is here most of the time because that gives God's light an opportunity to shine in this world, or is there something in that for me? Why do we want to live in God's presence all the time? For God or for me?

In servitude.

Okay, let's try to make it simpler. In servitude to God, or for God to be in servitude to our peace and our bliss and our joy and our freedom? But it can't be for the ego because then, yes, the ego is what makes God not far about. The opposite of living in ego is to be of God. The mind always finds a way to insert itself in the picture. It is easy to insert itself in the picture, and one of the ways the ego inserts itself in spirituality is in the form of the spiritual ego, which is the spiritual achiever, the spiritual desirer, the spiritual renouncer—all the spiritual poses that we can take on. There's the spiritual ego. So, best to be empty of all of this and make space, make room for the light to shine.

Sometimes when you say like serving, the expression of serving God, I feel becomes a doubt that is also like a form of ego used to separate when it's God and still better to dissolve in God.

Yeah, so we've looked at this question a few times over the last few weeks. So it's a very valid question to ask. So when I say that both are true: I am that absolute reality, the Nirguna Brahman in which the light of Ishwara, the light of God shines. It is completely true that I am the birthing ground even of Consciousness. But it is also true that I am nothing but a tiny speck of dust, not even that. A foolish, silly, stupid beggar is an accurate representation of me as well. Now, both of these are at the opposite ends of the intellectual construct, you see? And in the intellect, both cannot be true. I cannot be the substratum and birthing ground for God himself and on the other hand, I'm saying silly, foolish, worthless beggar, not even worthy of uttering God's name.

So, of course, simplest would be if we could accept that both can be true and that doesn't cause us any trouble. But since usually in the human condition we find that weight of it, and it becomes like a Zen koan and you start to meditate on it, maybe I can simplify it a bit. So those of us who really studied spirituality, studied the lives of masters through the centuries right from the beginning of when they started sharing, all of them have admitted that none of them have managed to be rid of the ego a hundred percent. And if you can point out to say, 'Hey, Joe consistently said that 100 percent I am free of ego,' then I'd love to read that report. So let's not fall into any arrogant presumption that we are going to be, or I am going to be, the first. I'm not most likely going to be the first.

Now, this although it may sound very simple, also becomes the biggest obstacle in spirituality because the 'me' that remains is very quick to take on the 'I am that' position. You see? So the 'me' that remains, which is actually the remnants or the ashes of the ego, that can take on the position of the 'I am that,' 'I am the first.' And when this limited, special, proud 'he' takes on this position, then that can cause so much trouble, as most of us have seen in our lives, in our study of spirituality, of teachers—all of these things. We know well enough what kind of trouble that can cause.

So when the question remains: what to do with this little tiny remnant of me that the rest of it got burnt up in inquiry and in devotion? But the 'me' that still remains, what to do with that? And the sages have made it very, very clear that what we need to do with that is to make it a servant of God, living in God's will no matter what. So if you look at all religions, every pointing from a true sage, they have suggested servitude to us and to follow God's will no matter what. So this is a great antidote for any sort of spiritual ego, any sort of specialness, any sort of pride in the 'me' that is bound to remain.

And if you are going to be the first one to be 100 percent empty of all ego, then full blessings to you and full love to you. But then for you, this question would not be relevant as to isn't it better to just dissolve rather than being in servitude? If servitude still has a hook, that means that there is some 'me' still remaining there, and it is best to put that one's head bowed down at the feet of the Master, at the feet of God, and that is the highest place for that one.

So then if this much is clear, then the next obvious question is: so then how do I live in God's will? How do I live in God's light? Now, to live in God's will, first is to be empty of the limited self, as Kabir Ji told us, the lane is too narrow; if there is 'me,' there cannot be God, and if there is God, there cannot be 'me.' So this is the same straight line in Christianity as well. So, empty of ourselves, what we've talked about so far in satsang. Then, if it is God's grace—it's not an entitlement—but then if it is God's grace, then God's presence can shine through in this life that we call 'my life.' And actually, the entire perceptual universe is that life, but for the moment it may seem like it is the life of this body-mind, you see? And that's all right, we don't have to rush.

So the life of this body-mind then flows in the naturalness of God's light where we are uninterrupted by the way of the hands and we live completely in the way of the heart. So that is the beginning of starting to follow God's will. Usually what happens is that once we get used to living empty of the false self, then you may also start to receive God's will in the form of instruction, in the form of pointing. Now that pointing or instruction may be for the mouth to utter it to others so they may also find God's light, or it may be instruction for you to follow in this life. And in all traditions and cultures, those who receive God's instructions with full faith and follow with all their might, they are called the highest.

In Hindus, we have a beautiful love and devotion for Hanuman. What was special about Hanuman was not his great strength or magical abilities, but his unwavering faith, his unwavering devotion to follow his Lord Ram's will no matter what. As absurd or as difficult as it may sound, he followed it always with all his might. And the same examples we have in all religions. We have the example of Abraham who then, because of his unwavering faith in God's word, is the founder of all the abrahamic religions. So Judaism, Christianity, and Islam basically derive from the abrahamic tradition. So that is to follow God's will, and it's present in all religions.

Guru Nanak Ji has told us that the highest and the only way—he said actually, he said that meditation will not help you, love will not help you, to be very smart in the head will not help you, all the tactics will not help you unless you are following the command of God. So in all traditions, all cultures, it is an important instruction for us to be able to follow the will of God. Okay, so again in this, the mind will come and will say, 'But what is to follow the will of God? Everything that happens anyway is God's will. So if I follow or don't follow, even that is God's will,' you see?

So in that simple sort of seeming Advaita understanding—not truth, understanding—we are saying that all of these sages, all of these great ones did not know what they're talking about because I know that whatever happens happens with God's will. So Nanak Ji didn't have to tell us that you must follow God's will come what may, because probably he didn't know. It's a new technological discovery, you know, that we have discovered everything happens in God's will. In Nanak Ji's time, they didn't know 200 or 300 years back, or 400 years back, that everything happened in God's will. So please don't waste your time with this kind of mental stuff. Everything does happen in God's will, and yet we must follow God's will with all our might, you see? And our mind cannot understand it because our mind is linear. So we think it has to be this way or that way. So already we've looked at two things which our mind cannot fathom, but you know in your heart that they are true. And the way to follow God's will, last week made that apparent.

It is often seen that those who are truly longing for God in their heart then go through a seemingly accelerated process of becoming rid of self-concern. And it can seem like for those, many challenges and tests are put in their paths, and they start to wonder, 'Wasn't I better off before spirituality?' And you know, a seeker actually told me, 'Look, the other thing, I had a good question, I had a great impact in a good way.' Because she said, 'I don't know if I'm cut out for this.' And she did not mean, I don't feel like she meant cut out for this path of spirituality or whatever we can call this path—Advaita is the most usual way we are referring to it. What she really felt like, the question felt like what she's asking is, 'Am I really cut out to live a life of God? Am I really cut out to live a life of God?'

And that's a very important question because your mind will tempt you with this question, usually in the idea that it's too difficult. So then the question to ask is: okay, what is the alternative? Number two, suppose that you're not cut out to live a life of God because it is too difficult to be empty of 'me,' and being self-filled with self-concern and self-importance seems too difficult at times. So we are not cut out for a life of God, then what is the alternative? So really the question to ask is whether spirituality, and true spirituality, is an imperative or is it an option? You see? So suppose that we are not cut out for God and we say, 'Okay, this God business is too difficult, so I am going to lead a Godless life.' What would that life have to contain to make it worthwhile? There's no life apart from God with anything.

If this deeply sinks into us, then most of the mind's temptations will not have any power or force over us because the mind is always tempting us with alternatives which we don't realize are actually alternatives, you see? It'll say, 'No, no, just for today you focus on the relationship thing. For today you focus on this money thing, and for today you focus on this body thing.' You see? This 'for today.' Of course, God is. And because it knows your identity is spiritual, it will not say 'forever.' This is 'for today,' and every day will go like this. Every day goes like this.

I have encountered death closely in close family a couple of times this year already, and both were what we would traditionally call very religious people. But to spend their life, or a part of their life, truly living a true life in God's light, it's very difficult to say yes. Therefore, I want to point out to all of us that it is not like something good or nice to have for our life; it's an urgent, important imperative. And the battle really is for time. We don't see it because everyone feels like they have time. That is the misuse of the intuitive understanding of eternity, you see? That is a misuse of our intuitive knowledge of eternity to apply it to this life in this way and say, 'No, no, I have time for God tomorrow. Today there are the important things.' And by the way, God has never said that you cannot live in His light and if you do live in His light, then your important things won't get done. In fact, the only thing that tells us whether something is good or important or useful or right or even anything is whether it was...

The intuitive understanding of Eternity, you see, that is a misuse of our intuitive knowledge of Eternity to apply it to this life in this way and say, 'No, no, I have time for God tomorrow; today they are the important things.' And by the way, God has never said that you cannot live in His life and if you do live in His life, then your important things won't get done. In fact, the only thing that tells us whether something is good or important or useful or right or even I think is whether the source of it was God's light or was it a human machination, you see? So all of the mind resistances are flawed and silly if you were to only look at them objectively.

So it's really not an option for us to be able to pass, can make a determination. Suppose we made a determination, 'No, I am not cut out for it,' you see? What would we do? It's like saying that I am not cut out for breathing, I'm not cut out to drink water. So don't give in to all of this temptation in front of my hand. It will seem difficult at times; that's why I'm saying it's not going to be easy. Don't expect it to be easy. If it is the most difficult thing you will ever do, if it is the most painful thing you will ever do, but you get a glimpse of God's light for a moment, even that is worthwhile. The alternative is a path of least resistance and be in avoidance of the reality of the holy presence, the holy being within ourselves. How much will we run from this reality? So, because the simpler way to answer that question is that everybody is cut out for it. In our very design, we are cut out to live in God's light.

Till we don't recognize—and this is in response to one of the questions on the chat—till we don't recognize that we are too, our mind is too inadequate for us to make judgments about good, bad, right, wrong, and the only way to determine what is good and what is right is whether it comes from God itself, and therefore we can never be at loggerheads with God's will. How do we put ourselves at loggerheads with God's will? Because we think we have the ability to determine what is right, and then we judge God and say God is not doing the right thing. You see, what gives us that ability to determine what is right? If God was not there, would you have a breath? Would that mind and intellect which we value so much with our judgments, could that be around? No. But we're using that which stands only on God's presence to judge God. 'Why would God do this to me? Because I know what is right for me.' That is the very definition of self-concern. I am pride, actually. I know better.

If the project is to be empty of me to make room for God, truly the strongest anchor that anchors us in this lane and refuses to leave this, refuses to make room for God, is pride. And how does pride function? With our righteousness ideas that we know. I know what is better, I know what is worse. Not only can I judge my brothers and sisters, I will now judge God also. You don't realize what is the level of silliness in that image of brothers and sisters, the whole spiritual life in United everyone who has ever lived. But what gives us the ability and right to judge God, in whose light even one heartbeat we cannot do for ourselves? So if you listen to anything at all, anything at all, and don't listen to anything at all except this: don't put yourself one-on-one with God that you now have the ability to judge Him. It's a huge mistake. Okay, let's go to Beatrice.

You saved me for about if you want to why do you want to be empty your face for God or if it is I feel like I have both. Maybe I want to reality because I suffer, then I want to be more myself. So then if you have both then you...

If you have both, then you will be only half empty. Can you explain it? Yes, yes. Okay, my dear, there's some background noise coming from your mic so I'll just mute you for a moment. I'll answer your question now. So we say that the question is that I like the response, she says when I really check I see that half is so that this life can be in service to God's light, but there is also an expectation that there will be happiness, there will be peace, there will be some benefit, maybe I'll be free. I'm paraphrasing. So that really is provisional in the sense that I would say it's half-hearted, where it's not a bad start but we can't settle for that. We must deepen in our love for God, we must deepen in our inquiry, we must deepen in our devotion so that all this, the half which is full of self-concern and personal benefit to the non-existent one, that must dissolve more and more. So may God bless you and may God give you the insight and strength to be able to let go of that half which is concerned about the limited self, the non-existent one.

I feel like I feel also that I when you said I am the one who is the first we will become fully empty of everything, I feel that I am already.

You feel already empty?

I feel like I am fine because I have this reality that is already everything and but I hope this equals...

I like this report because it's very honest. If you feel like you are such a Nirguna reality, then it's more Nirguna than anybody else's reality. Zoom that everybody else's reality is not close to your Nirguna reality. Your reality has some Guna which is beyond everybody else's. I didn't know you have a very high quality quality-lessness. Thank you, thank you. And although we are all laughing about it, there is something to contemplate in that because all of us can get stuck in a sort of notion that my realization of the absolute quality-lessness is beyond everybody else's. That if I want to enlightenment just for me is not going to work.

What about half for you? What do you mean by half? That's what you started with, no? That half I want God for God, but other half I want God for me. Exchange like makes or because he's like I want to be healthy because I don't want to be the ego because it's not myself. I want to become myself. So it's like a strangely this is like the ego doesn't want to be any more ego, it wants to be the Self.

Yes. So how will we ever convert the non-existent one into the only existent one? Listen, so we cannot do that. It's not a transformative process; it's a transcendental process. You need to transcend it, not transform it. Yeah, it's not a constructive, it's not something that you can construct, construct, construct on top of the ego, put all the right things and one day that ego will turn into Atma or God, you know? It is to get rid of, to rid ourselves of this false one so that God's light can shine through.

I was doing before, no? I see that it's not like that. The more I say that I'm not the thoughts, I feel the more feel like more myself.

That's good. So keep going like that. Be empty more and more of your thoughts and...

Yeah, it's fun also with my job I have struggle because I don't know if he's my name is and I fight because I don't know besides I I see that it's not true but and I see that I can work empty but you know you know they say is like fighting. Yeah, thank you.

The trouble is again that we are expecting it to be easy. There will be a fight. The mind will fight it, and as long as we are used to identifying with any aspect of it, it will seem like there's a fight within ourselves. So fight for what is true and may God win this fight.

If I don't have more option, I mean I see that he's not easy on the life, it's not so easy sometimes. I mean if it's difficult okay I have to do it yourself. I cannot say like I'm done with God, I have another option because even if he if I make her I'm I have to choose God not because I have because I don't know you know I don't have more options. I don't want to be English so I can work Father I so I cannot do my job in peace. Jazz, you do jazz?

Yes, you do jazz?

Yes, I try to do songs that are happy you know for the people so I mean for me I said God also like this I try to do what I do I play.

A little bit I know about jazz music is that it gives you a lot of space, you know? It's not so hardwired as classical or even pop or something, that you can be, you can be moment to moment and allow it to unfold in jazz, no? Is this not true?

Yes, yes Father. Even you can be enlightened there is as you know John Coltrane, he was as saxophonist, he become enlightened after a concert. He have a church in San Francisco. I have a photo of him here. Are we happy to remove? Did you say your job? Yeah, this one, yay. After a concert and after he took an album that is called the name is A Love Supreme because he went in the dance you have to learn and then to forget everything.

Yes. Jazz and Satsang sounds very similar, yes, because there is so much, no, it's not, you cannot think. So what were you complaining about? No, I've got frozen. Is it all of us? No, just her. We'll come back to her. Okay, let's go to Adrian.

Namaste Father, can you hear me well? Yes, um just felt to share some things about the that I feel helped me to be more empty and also it has to do a bit of confusion about inquiry because maybe I don't understand exactly what inquiry means. For example, I don't know if it's a form of inquiry but I noticed it's good for me to just look at things whether in the mind or in the perceptions and be open and empty and just you know sometimes you mentioned those Korean Zen Buddhists who look at the world and ask themselves 'What is this? What is this?' Yeah, so I also something like that I do and I look at maybe some strong beliefs that I have or projections or even objects in the room where and I'm just looking, you know, just looking and seeing what they are made of, what not a really concluding things. It just felt to share.

That's very good, that's very good. Usually when we talk about the inquiry, we could be talking about it in this way that you're saying, but also we could be talking about it in the way of how Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi described self-inquiry, which is to try and find the root of the 'I'. Who is the 'I'? So how there's only a minor change that you would make or a minor addition that you would make to what you are already doing. So when you're just observing something, you would ask 'Who is witnessing this?' you see? And you would not conclude it with your mind, but you would allow that question to just unfold whatever insight it has to unfold. So that's that's a simple way of describing inquiry.

Yes, yeah I know this sometimes when I tried to ask in the past to ask myself 'Who am I?' immediately like this body-mind comes up, but I realized that like I have to ask myself who witnesses even this body-mind.

Exactly, exactly. Yeah, so when you ask yourself 'Who am I?' then some attention may go to some sensations strongly. So just check who's witnessing these sensations. Or if the mind comes up with an answer that awareness is witnessing or the Self is witnessing or Consciousness is perceiving, then ask yourself who witnesses that thought which has the answer 'awareness is witnessing'?

Yeah, yeah it's very very good like to tell me thank you. And maybe if I can also share something else, it's about judging others and humility, being humble. Maybe there's some confusion here because for example I give you an example: there are some people, I don't know if I can call them friends but they are they I know them very well and from childhood and they you know many times they call me to spend time with them, party with them and you know sometimes they encourage me to drink alcohol and stuff. So sometimes in the past I used to spend time with them because I didn't want to judge them or be I wanted to be humble, but somehow God is God is guiding me to to not do this, to spend more time by myself and inquire and I I feel somehow that this it's a wasting time to do this thing. So I don't want to judge them, I I mean I don't know if this is judging them or not being humble.

It's fine, that's fine. Okay, let me help you a little bit with this although you're on the right track completely. So because you follow God...

To spend time with them because I didn't want to judge them or be—I wanted to be humble. But somehow God is guiding me to not do this, to spend more time by myself and inquire. And I feel somehow that it's a wasting time to do this thing. So I don't want to judge them. I mean, I don't know if this is judging them or not being humble.

It's fine. Okay, let me help you a little bit with this, although you're on the right track completely. So, because you follow God in your heart and they are busy with having fun and alcohol at parties and all of that, the mind will tempt you with some thoughts about how you are better than them, you see? So don't buy into those thoughts. Let them come and go and do not believe any of that specialness or that 'I am better.' That is to remain humble. But to follow God's will is not a judgment against them; it is what you are following, what is right for you in your heart. But that doesn't make you into somebody special or something better, because then that can become the spiritual ego.

Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Let's go to the last one. Divine—how do you pronounce it, my dear? Diwan or Devin?

Diwan. Um, thank you so much. Um, I'm really shy, so please forgive me. Um, I've been fully enjoying you for about, you know, six months now, but on YouTube. You're on YouTube. Somehow I feel like by grace I was able to meet you. And before meeting you, I was with Mooji, and I used to listen to him a lot because a lot of things have changed. I was understanding what was going on, but it's like it's just so much love for you because of like the way in which you like relate, you know, like the introspection with God and everything. It's just so like—it's just amazing on me. It helped me a lot to like see like, you know, like spiritual ego as well as the specialness and the little arrogance of space. And I saw because that sort of inhibited the growth, like the growth, the little growth that was taking place here. And I feel like arrogance is like the worst disease. I'm sure you're playing things on the way in which like they... very simple, this implications here as well as the endlessness is just... I'm just so grateful. And I was—my mind, like the mind was saying, you know, the day I met you physically, then I'm going to thank him. But I was like, you know what? I need to just... because I listened to like this song, I believe the previous hotel where you said, 'What if this is not tomorrow?' you know? And I just felt like I need to just come and even if I'm shaking or whatever, but this is... thank you so much. You're pointing on to always push like the buttons of a human nature where we can like, you know, try to like take also hide away from because like this... thank you so much.

Thank you. I'm so, so deeply touched by your report. And I can tell that the words are coming from your heart, and especially if you feel like you're nervous before the camera or something like this, but to still take the courage and to come up and to share this report so much from the heart and so beautifully. I'm very touched. I'm very touched by it. Thank you. Thank you. Always my... thank you so much. All my love, all my blessings. So happy, so happy. All is my Master's Grace. No more hands came up. Thank you. Let's hear my Legend.

Hello, Father.

Hello, my love.

Um, we have two hands here. Um, I raised my hand because um, from the past weeks I feel like dropped in my sadhana and in my attention being um, inwardly. And I need a lot of Grace to come back.

All right. Yeah, you see that um, you feel that in the past few weeks you've not been so committed to your sadhana and you feel like you've taken a different trajectory and now you're requesting God's grace to bring you back to the right orbit in some way? Yeah, for that? Okay, yes. So those moments where you got tempted by the mind and went on the wrong trajectory, let those be good lessons for us. And when they tempt you with the same things again and then you have the strength not to follow, that is my blessing to you, and so that you continuously deepen in God's love in your heart.

And I also attracted, I think, some entities which are playing in my feelings.

You attracted entities? So let them get the darshan of God in your heart. Don't make any other project out of it. With anyone who comes into your presence, whatever we may consider them to be, let them be blessed by God's light in your heart. And there's no need to fear any of this stuff. Nothing in the world is stronger than God's light in our heart.

I actually felt like that if I pray for it or whatever it is, um, it did bring peace in my heart in a way. I don't know if it makes sense.

Yes, I already... I feel like I answered. Yeah, I think... and Colleen wants to speak. I think... yeah, I don't know. He said he wanted to say hello.

And hello, he was... do you have anything that you want to ask help for? Yeah, I've been a bit away from sadhana recently. I don't really feel like I want to go and I have a lot of resistances. Could I have a blessing please?

And somehow is Mama saying, are you saying both of it is... um, I was observing that he's skipping sadhana. I should get you to talk to my kids. To my kids as well. I have all the time, 12 years. I have a spare bedroom in Portugal. I'm sending them. I'm sending them. Thank you. Full blessing is there that um, may you be drawn to God's light in your heart whenever the time is ready for you. Because I also noticed that with kids what can happen is that if we push you at this age, then maybe when you have the time to do whatever you want, then you may not naturally... you may have some expression of rebellion against what you were sort of compelled to do when you were younger. So may it not become a compulsion, but may you, whenever the time is right, whenever you feel guided in your heart, may you come deeply into the truth of your reality. And I remember some of our conversations very well and you have a beautiful foundation already in place for this spiritual unfolding to happen. So may Grace and Guruji's Grace bless you that it unfolds in the most perfect way for you. Are you saying something? Because your audio is not coming through. I was wondering if you were in Thailand. So let me try again. Still don't hear you. Yeah, check on the settings for your mic and audio. Maybe we'll come back to you in a moment after we speak to Chanda.

Something happened or what's... and see the next one is already getting ready. Oh, okay. Coming on Tuesday, it's my birthday. What is your blessing? It's a moment unique. It's been a long time.

Yes, come, come home soon. Sometimes um, the world can seem very compelling and it says, 'No, no, it's important to do other stuff and things.' But um, you know, you waved there in the satsang the other day where I was saying that um, usually in God's way there is nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, and then it comes to push. So when we learn to recognize the nudges, then usually there's no need for the push to come. Okay, let's try Gustavo again. You don't hear anything? Okay, we'll try next time. Let's go to Samia.

Thank you. Yes, I decided it really helps not to um, be a spiritual teacher. To have been a biological father is really helpful, I recognize. So many, so much of this, my biological children also. So with everyone, yes, I feel like it's different with everyone. Yeah, I feel like I'm not so much... not even importance, but um, yeah, it feels like this sometimes when you do this, like you start laughing instead of being very serious about it. 'What is the nature of reality, my child?' No, you don't speak with like this with them anyway. I don't... there's not enough gravitas in this conversation.

Sorry, Father, someone interrupted you. Pick one of them, like who you like the way I speak with, I'll speak with you like that.

No, I'm... I can't lie. No, it's not... I feel like you give more importance to some than others.

Everyone feels right. See, everyone laughing because all of them feel that who are the one who do not love, they're getting all the importance. But this moment all my attention is with you. So what do you have to present?

I have to be... I don't have to be good. You don't have to be good. You live in God's light or to... I'm in God's light and bring others to God's light. You don't have to be good at speaking. So in fact, when the one said earlier that he's very shy, I felt like this expression has been shy all his life. I would rather sit in a room and read a book rather than come in front of people and talk. So but what happens is that when God decides to use you as an instrument, then it doesn't matter how good we are at speaking or bad we are at speaking. All those things are irrelevant. Like yes, what you said is of course true and I know that also it's true. But if my crying is not about this, not about God's light or being used in that way, but what is the more important topic?

Okay, something is coming up to ask you while you only wait for what you want to say in the daytime. No, how many stars do you see in the sky?

I don't... don't hear... no star.

Why don't we see them? Are they running? Have they gone away?

No, no. But what we are told is, no, they are there.

Yes, they are there. Yes, we are taught, right? That is, we have to go with that inductive sort of reasoning. They are there, but the Sun's light is too strong, so we don't notice them, isn't it? So it is the same thing between the ego and God. Between the ego and God, if God's light is shining, then how can we see the 'me'? What is happening to me? Is it possible at all?

I feel that we find a way to shadow that through our belief in our mind, and then these of the individual coming to focus. I can't say like an individual coming to focus or it's something, but please... but sometimes things happen and life not always so easy.

Yes, but that's saying that these stars, they move from place to place, and if you look at the stars they have patterns and we can decipher the patterns, and one part is Aquarius and one part is Pisces and one part is all of this. We can read in our life and it always doesn't seem so easy. But the fact is that, is the sun shining or not? And as the sun is shining, then what else can get our focus and time and attention?

But the place where I'm very always catching me, why this life always have to be like this? Like yes, with God's light always good, but even with God's light my life is not... doesn't seem nice. God's light... in God's light is there my life? In God's light, what is my life, Father? I'm the one who um, get hardened. I don't know if this is the word. Like yes, not not even even challenged. Challenge is not a right word and tiredness is not the right word like... I don't know. Sorry.

Yes, yes, yes. Okay, let me see if we can... did we have this conversation last time where I was saying that... yes, similar. Sorry, no, no, no, tell me. I was saying that you don't take what I have to give you, okay? You don't take it. So I'm giving you a gift. Suppose it's not me, suppose it's not me, somebody who you're meeting in your life, they're giving you something. Don't take it. Can they give it to you unless you take it?

I had a feeling she's gonna do that. Okay, if you're living in God's light, unless you accept the the seeming gift—actually the trouble in the form of a seeming gift—what can shake you? Sorry, I just wanna check for one word. I want to speak something out but I need to look for a word. It is going to be a strong one. What is the Turkish? In Turkish, yeah, it's 'zorlanmak.' Zorlanmak.

The word... use my yogic powers and see these. If you want to laugh so much and she's like today she's determined no to cry. Sound like very Mucky. Um, it's okay, Father. So I am going to say a few things. Maybe you don't want to necessarily follow at this point, but maybe later some things will make you follow, you know? In all of this, in all of this—and we've been through this cycle a few times—what happens is that that very time which we could spend...

It's all landmark. The word—use my yogic powers and see these if you want to laugh so much. And she's like, today she's determined not to cry. It's okay. So I am going to say a few things; maybe you don't want to necessarily follow at this point, but maybe later some things will make you follow. You know, in all of this, and we've been through this cycle a few times, what happens is that that very time which we could spend in loving God, in serving God, and just shining in God's presence, it just gets pushed to tomorrow, to tomorrow, to tomorrow.

May you please say it again? I could not give my attention.

Yes, I'm saying that in all of this, what is getting neglected is the opportunity to love God fully in this moment. Yeah?

Like what's going on, Maya told you also happened to me actually. I went for a work and I could not—like, it was hard and somehow I lost this connection with God. And after that, when I lost my connection with God, then nothing really helps, you know? But if I have this connection, then I can accept everything, I can bear everything, and it's not even bearing; everything flows. But when this connection is not there, even though nothing is happening, it's nothing at all because, yeah, I'm very familiar with you. So this is really...

So right now, can you not make the connection? I completely agree that to live a life disconnected from God can seem like a living hell. Completely agree. But I also know that if you with all your heart turn to God, God is not going to turn away from you.

But it's not so true. Like when I come to you...

So I said if you, with all your might and all your heart, turned to God. So do it and show me, and let me see God not turning back. You don't have to do it; you know it's going to work. That's why it hurts. So that is the mind trick, isn't it? You know it's going to work, but something—no, I see something starts enjoying the disconnection, although it is not truly you. But my job is to turn you back, no? I don't think... then why don't you? Sometimes even our sadness or our grief can seem like a very comfortable hell, and the mind's whole job is to try and make this—oh, I've been saying a palatable hell, you know? Tell me if this is not true. You know right now if you turn to God, all this is over. You know this. I know that you know.

Yeah, I know. It's like, then I need to again have to leave my expectations, which challenges me, which makes me a little bit sad. That's why, actually.

Yeah, this is you. Okay, try to see along with me that what your mind is telling you is that, yes, if you turn to God, then you can live in God's light, everything will be fine, but for that you have to leave your expectations. But what is the point of your life if you have to leave your expectations? Your life should fulfill your expectations and not leave them. This, my child, either you can discover for yourself by going through this a million times, or you can take my word for it now: this attempt to fulfill your expectations is nothing but trying to make hell palatable or hell comfortable.

Okay, now I realize. Yeah, okay. I can crave for that. I can pray for help to God and maybe He will grant or not; it's up to Him. I can just pray, but I cannot be on this loop.

So my full support and blessings are with you. Right now, turn to Him. Go like a child until He doesn't hold you. Tell me if you want that.

I really didn't know before that I just want to ask for help. No, like, okay, I'm in some kind of need and challenge and He knows what it is. So I just want to ask for help for this.

Once you're living in His house, then He will help you with everything. No, He did. Well, when you live in your Father's house, the Father doesn't buy you every toy you want, but He knows what is the best toy for you, isn't it? No, He did, Father. Okay, no, I can come. He's already done. You see, it is already the instant you change your mind and you say, 'I want to come to God and drop my ideas,' most of you can recognize it is already done. Remember always that even your mind's highest ideas cannot come close to one moment of God's presence. So if you ever feel as if the mind is putting them in a weighing scale, saying 'my expectations are more important than God's presence'...

No, it's not expectations. I know what you are saying is true, but really sometimes it's not really... anyway, sometimes I just feel so challenged and I feel like no help is coming. Just this feeling.

You have to make a report to me sometime if you say, 'I turned wholeheartedly with all my mind to God and God did not come.' Do you want God's help or you want God?

Thank you for asking this. Sometimes I feel like, yeah, it's—of course I want God, I can say this. But the challenges and all the things which come with this, I don't want them. I can't bear them. Even the idea of them. That's why, actually, to be with that is the most beautiful, even just—it's everything. But what this body or this life can go through with this, even the idea of it I cannot bear. And this is where I'm so much entangled. So it's like I don't feel the strength or even urge to like—no, whatever it is. No, God, I cannot find this strength within me to say this, even though, of course, everyone wants God. It's just so obvious, and it's just so obvious for me. But yeah, as I said, and I cannot even pray to give me strength because this is just so strong. So yeah, like you said, self-concern is still—I don't know if it's self-concern, but it's still got a line.

May you be blessed by God's light, and He is constantly present. There is no higher blessing I can give you.

Yeah, thank you. I just want to say thank you. Thank you for everything.

All my love, all my blessings. All right, okay. Let's go back to Divine from Timer.

So I just realized that there was so much that I was here to say but I didn't say it. So I was reading now, but like, I guess your first time, I think. I just want to share, like, myself to share with you because like last year, which was like—so I finished college, so I was supposed to go to university this last year, but somehow God made me to like take a year out, you know? It's just to somehow crazy and not to focus on Him. And so when I'm part of Mooji, like, there was so much resistance because of like conditioning and everything, but the words he was speaking, like, it was just hitting some piece of health, like spaciousness in his words, even without understanding what he was actually speaking about. And because he was using like the word itself, but I—something wasn't in full acceptance of the fact that this is actually God, you know? And he's speaking about like the Supreme. So although I was having like these very beautiful insights, but it was still—it felt secret because I was like, pray to Jesus, as I grew from a Christian background and things. But when I met you, like six months ago, the first video I watched, I remember it was like, 'Is it God for me or me for God?' And when I watched that video, I was also like hushed by... it exposed a lot of... initially I was like deep resistance because it was more of like a personal discovery which I was making, like the special effect on everything, it was very personal. Through listening to you, I felt so moved by it and I went through all the videos. But immediately I saw the word God, I just split it because I needed to like, just to really emphasize that this is like—this is God. And through that bottle of humility as well, also just saying that because it was also like extensive specialness of arrogance and being like, you know, although I was so grateful to God for this, but I was like separating, you know, like the idea about God and this. And that was preventing me from also like with the introspection of going deeper and all of that. And it really like removed the block because I was approaching the introspection from a very personal viewpoint and with the identification of this body and everything, or just being like an entity. So when I watched these videos on the introspection, the way in which it changed like the lens through which I was introspecting through, because it was just like space introspecting space. These videos, like, it just really showed me—I just know that this is God, you know? It is with like, you know, and also a child growing up like in church, I should ask myself, 'But where's God?' you know, speaking all these things about God. But when, by watching your videos and seeing how you're able to like just remove like the concept about God and actually showing that it's like a living presence that is always here, I don't think there's any greater gift than this, and to know that our true nature is just eternal. So just leave and so on, all this show. And to be honest, sometimes even after these, like, some doubts do come, and as well as some fears and sort of like the perception of the world and everything, and like family and conditioning and all of these other things. But still, like the young in here, it's just some type of rooted recognition that this is true. This is a knowledgeable place to be on. I don't know, I'm just so grateful. I would really be grateful one day if I can come to you and just say thank you. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Very good. Thank you. Thank God. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have to say that I'm so deeply touched by this report that I'm actually holding back my tears because this is just proof of God's grace. This is proof of God's grace that someone who's—and we are speaking like this for the first time—but someone who's been hearing the words that God has put into this mouth, and they're moving away from the conceptual idea of God into the living being which they are discovering for themselves, the living presence of God. This is what this servant is here for. This is what this beggar wants to do. So I'm very touched. God's grace is revealing itself to you so beautifully, and may you continue in this humility, this love. Thank you. I'm so happy to hear you today. I'm very, very happy. I'm very happy as well, really grateful to you because she's so happy. All my love. Okay, okay. Let's go to Lori.

Hello, Father. Can you hear me? I just wanting to come just to see what happens, because it's been a while since we talked. Sometimes I feel like I miss you, although I know that you are in my heart, you are always with me. But sometimes I feel like I miss you. I missed chat with you and I'm having a lot of conversations with you—I don't know, in my mind, in my heart, I don't know—but I'm talking with you. So sometimes I say like I have to talk. It is like not only in my mind or in my heart, but yeah, I feel this way.

Yes, you can always speak to me in that way, and that one is your own heart, your own Satguru presence, of which this man who's in front of you is just an instrument. So the true Guru is always in your heart, and that is why He's never at any distance from you. And you, in this case, you don't even have to worry whether you're using your mind, you're using your heart; just with this innocence, continue to deepen your relationship with the holy presence within. And because the same one that is my Master as well, it's not... very, very touched by your report as well. Remind me, what has been the topic of our conversation?

Lots of topics. I've been giving you my report about the prayer that much. Yes, because like one month or three months before you gave us this instruction, I was feeling like my path was something more devotional than inquiry, because this inquiry sometimes is very difficult to me. But when I pray and I just give everything to God, it doesn't matter who I am with this question or whatever, I feel more peace or I feel...

The topic of our conversation, a lot, lots of topics. I've been giving you my report about the prayer that much. Yes, because like one month or three months before you gave us this instruction, I was feeling like my path was something more devotional than inquiring, because this inquiring sometimes is very difficult to me. But when I pray and I just give everything to God, it doesn't matter who I am with this question or whatever, I feel more peace or I feel like this sentence. And then you came with this practice. So, because I was feeling like, 'Oh no, I have to leave this inquiry thing because my path is devotion and prayer,' and I had like this problem inside, but then you came with this and that was like a relief to me. I was practicing this. At first I felt a deep connection, but now I'm feeling like I'm doing this automatically. Just sometimes I don't feel it, but I'm still doing that. Every morning I wake up and it is the very first thing I do, is this prayer. And sometimes I just don't feel it. I feel like I'm just saying words, but I don't care, I'm still doing that.

And other conversation is that I wanted to show you or just talk to you about the thing that I'm doing with my daughter, and it is we are having experiences with Ayahuasca. I don't know if you know this. I had these experiences alone years ago, like 17 years ago or something like that, and I think my spiritual awakening, my first spiritual awakening, was through this Ayahuasca. But then I just quit that. And now we are having a lot of... you know that last year was very difficult to me and my daughter, so we started with this again. And I'm always there with you. I put your photos there, flowers, God bless to you, because I'm going to a place where they are very open to this and they have no problem with that. I just wanted to report that I'm doing this. I don't know what's your opinion about that. I just feel that it is just an instrument which gives me like experiences where I can confirm that God exists, because it's just that way, and somehow just to heal my body, whatever I have to heal. I don't know what, but I'm always like thinking about you and Mooji, and I don't want this to be like something in contradiction with you. That's the other conversation I'm having with you in my heart these months.

So what am I telling you in your heart?

That if I'm having that, if I'm looking for God, that's okay. And if I'm clear with this, it is not the path or the only... I don't know how to say that in English, but that if this is just a thing that is helping me to know God, that it's okay. If this is from my heart, it's okay. And sometimes I feel that this problematic thing I have to stop it, but by now it's been good. I'm feeling good with that and it's been very helpful for my daughter. It's been a transformation. Because after that, she knows God exists, she knows He's with us, and she's healing a lot of things that she has been through, very hard things. And now she loves to go there and talk to God. So I have no problem with that, so I hope you don't have problems with that.

Thank you. Thank you for your report. I'm very touched by it as well. So I know to some extent, to a large extent, that you've been through a weight of time over the last couple of years, and your daughter as well. And clearly, in listening to you and hearing you today, you are better. Your whole demeanor is better. Your connection to God is very palpable and much deeper than I've seen in the past. So I'm very happy to see that.

As far as the usage of Ayahuasca or any other substances are concerned, I have no direct experience of it, so I'm not able to directly say. But my wish for you is that as you go along, your love for God and His presence may deepen so much that you don't need any device, any process, any thing to bring you to His light and bring you to His presence. May that happen more and more every day. Deepen more and more in that light. And may no substance ever become something that you can't live without, or any sort of crutches that you need. May you, in just sheer humility, love, and simplicity, find His presence so deeply there that you may wonder soon why you ever needed anything at all in the first place, that His presence is so strong.

May God's grace make all of this possible for you and your daughter fully, both of you, and your sister as well. May you shine so much in God's light that God's presence may bring His life to all those who come in contact with you as well. May this spread now far and wide. May His grace bless you so deeply. But I'm happy to see you here and that you're doing so much better today. Very, very happy. I love you so much. I love you.

We love you so much. We only think that we want to sleep in God's light. We are tired of this world. We are tired of suffering. We are so tired. We love you.

May you find a place at His feet where you're not tired anymore, and may your elevation bring that light to so many others as well. All my love, all my blessings. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today.