The True Master Is Always With You, and It Is Never Powerless – 8th August 2021

It's like I, me. It's what's in for me here also. Like somewhere this 'me' has some kind of unsaid expectations or something that it has to be okay with this 'me' one, that manufactured with false knowledge. The one that is manufactured apparently, not really, but it feels like there is one who knows all this false knowledge, now using spirituality itself to be able to recognize 'this is resistance, this is openness,' all of this. So it is now able to gauge and make a report card, you see.

So that evaluative tendency of the appearance is what we call the intellect, which is an aspect of the mind itself. Does your being itself have any trouble with whatever may be appearing?

No.

That which is beyond being and not being, that awareness, has any trouble? I'm just going to mute everyone and I'm going to ask you.

No, because that's how I can even report that report also. Like there is a deeper sense which is there, that is all okay. A reason to accept that trouble and say, but that is still there in a way. Like there's a deeper sense that everything is okay, but actually on my surface I'm feeling trouble.

So let's explore this possibility and see even at the surface if it is possible. So there must be someone that is troubled, isn't it?

Yes.

Can there just be trouble for the sake of trouble itself? No. Someone that is feeling troubled, and that is why it is trouble. But we are not able to locate that one who has the trouble. Tell me if you are.

It's in flux, Father. It's in flux, but then suddenly therefore in some moments it is a strong identity. It feels like, like it's for me, like you know, 'I am' and 'me' feels so real and yes, it means a lot to this.

Okay, who's reported this one who's getting trouble? The principle of spirituality is giving yourself report cards on what happens in the life of Amrita. That's good. Confusion is very good. So can be more—can be actually trouble unknown. And we talked about that which is aware, even of being and not being. No concept of trouble, no trouble applies there at all. So now unless we are overusing our belief, which means we are identifying, therefore the fictional one, the product of the false knowledge of false identification—trouble is its middle name. Whatever you may call it, trouble always goes along.

But sometimes I just cannot not identify also. Like how not?

God, who is having this problem? Being is having a problem? Like God did not identify. It is the spiritual seeker's problem. Have I said in this conversation that you have to never identify? I'm just saying right now notice if there is something which can actually be trouble. You see, now you will insert yourself into a narrative which is impossible. God cannot be put in a narrative, you see. The Self cannot be put in a narrative. So then the one that has the past and that has the narrative, who is that one? Who is that that cannot not identify? So simply put, who has the problem? If only God is, the unacceptance of this very simple recognition that only God is—otherwise report this problem as God. As God sounds too far out? Make the same report as consciousness. What's happening to consciousness? Let's hear.

Consciousness is stuck because consciousness cannot not identify. Huh. So consciousness is looking for help?

Yes. Who are you trying to help?

I. That 'I' who's identified and wants that some solace with whatever okay this and which with this conditioning. Oh, this is not good or this is—or it should happen this way or should not happen, or at least it should happen this way. Yeah, it's got a lot of conditioning.

Conditioning equals the false knowledge or ignorance or vasana, whatever you may want to call it. So drop all conditions. Bondage is conditions. Freedom is openness, emptiness. And attachment, same thing, it's a condition. 'This should be this. I should always have this in my life. I should not have this.' Whether it's attachment or aversion, same thing. An idea of what should always show up for us is attachment. An idea that something should not show up for us is aversion. This mixed vegetable soup that God makes, if we say 'I want more capsicum, I don't want cauliflower,' that is when the trouble comes. That is attachment.

And how not to go with the story? Because so many times like that, or the story, the moment it's with that one thought or some sticky thought takes you, it's seen, it's seen and it's already—there's so much of juice or there's so much of interest and so it's gone by that narrative at all. Because there is no moment in which you are truly identified, but in front of you it happens like that. Like in this click, the click doesn't come. It works with you in front, like wow. Maybe there's a lot of demand also here for others to have it this way or that way. I'm like with all that conditioning which is coming along.

Before the sound, who are you? Before you hear the sound, who are you? You see, while we play these games, God is sitting in our living room. We are trying to solve everything in the world, you see. We are going to all places where God is sitting in our living room. Whose presence is here? What exists? You know that we have tried this experiment for many years: can you stop being? And you have noticed that there is being. Who is that being? What is that being? Boundless, all-intelligent, everything that you can never imagine. The highest to continue is already your very being. How would you be if the greatest power, the greatest intelligence in the universe was always—it is—it is with you always? That how you would be then? But something believes, you know, the mind believes in something and then it just goes astray and then you stop believing that. Let the mind do whatever it wants. Don't believe in time right now because you're still trying to resolve it for someone who isn't there. And that one is just a product of time, you see. Because you insert into the narrative the idea that, 'Yes, it is okay right now when Father is here, but you know last week was so bad and then when I leave him again then things will become bad.' So how do I resolve that? That one doesn't exist, you see. So we can never solve it for the non-existent one.

You know, the companion to any story is suffering. Any story, it just comes. It comes first and sometimes the story comes from even once—even before once upon a time.

Yeah, in the land of suffering once there was time. Tell me a story which is not in time, unaffected by time. Never be like any story without children. This business is not a story. The Self is not a story. Once upon a time, is-ness was easy. Then later, is-ness was easy. And now it is easy and it will always be is. The only thing you lose when you stop relying on the mind is the ability to weave a narrative.

Yeah, and then when there is a force to hook on to something, then like something at least like one pinky—okay, not—it's not not okay. This, I mean, that also happens automatically. It's not—

What do you mean automatically? What doesn't happen automatically? Yeah, like everything happens. But this okay, okay, okay, okay, I don't believe this now. I will not believe you. Okay, man, you can say anything whatever. If everything is allowed, anything can come and go. But something like that one thing and—I mean, when you're too far then you realize, oh God.

Okay, who does the power of belief belong to? So belief cannot belong to the product which it is creating. So identity gets created as a product of belief, so it cannot be there to exert the power already, you see. So who's here? Who can anything belong to? So it is your very being that uses the powers of belief, attention, and therefore the play of identification is called the play of God itself, consciousness itself. And all satsang is a conversation between consciousness or monologue between consciousness, consciousness speaking with consciousness. So you as consciousness can let go. If you insert two in the picture, that is you as consciousness and you as Amrita, then and then you say, 'Okay, for Amrita everything is happening automatically,' you see, then she has nothing to worry about. Then she has nothing to worry about because God is the doer and God is the experiencer. But that is also half-half. So either you take yourself to be Amrita and leave everything to God—the doing and the experiencing—or recognize that you are this consciousness and the allowing, the openness and emptiness in this very moment without getting the past involved, without getting the false knowledge involved, is completely up to you. Either way it is win-win. But if you do half-half, then you'll have to—yes, Father.

Has nothing to worry about because God is the doer and God is the experiencer. But that is also half-half. So either you take yourself to be Amrita and leave everything to God—the doing and the experiencing—or recognize that you are this consciousness. And the allowing, the openness and emptiness in this very moment, without getting the past involved, without getting the false knowledge involved, is completely up to you. Either way, it is win-win. But if you do half-half, then you'll have to...

Yes, Father. It's... I'm doing half-half. I realize that because it's going... yeah, because then there's no choice. There's choiceless. It's choiceless or whatever comes. And who's the experiencer of that absence of choice? Like everything is... then who is the non-doer? And we say in Advaita, it's very popular these days to say 'I am not the doer.' Who is not the doer? Is there such a one?

Yet not discovered fully. Yeah, it's not yet established or discovered fully because there is some... there's a mixture. Obviously, there's a mixture. That's why there are so many questions also and so many doubts also. Contemplate this because I've introduced you to your beingness. I've introduced you to that which is beyond even 'I am,' before 'I am.' And I've also shown you that nothing else is there. So now this individuality, the individual doer or desirer, the separate one, is which one?

Maybe it's time for a quick recap about what I'm really saying. So fundamentally, when we come into spirituality or we come into satsang, we are trying to resolve three things. First thing is the most common one when we are in the beginning, and that is: how do I end my suffering? You see, most of us come into satsang because of some suffering or wanting some peace or some space away from that suffering. So I often say that to let go of your thoughts or not to believe your next thought is actually the end of your suffering. But another way to put that is that if you are suffering, recognize that you are overusing your mind. If you are suffering, recognize that you are overusing your mind. There is no other way in this play of worlds to suffer than to overuse your mind.

You are knowing something which you don't actually know, right? The mind is making a claim to some knowledge which it doesn't actually know, like we talked about good versus bad, okay, not okay. So we're falling into the trap of ignorance. That is why we are suffering. And in that way, it's very auspicious because it shows us immediately that we are falling into some ignorance. And ignorance is to use your mind to believe something which the mind does not have the capability to present. 'What should not be,' for example, is the favorite story of the mind, but it does not have the capacity to present to us. How can the tiny instrument of thoughts know what is auspicious and what is not? Then the mind would be greater than God if it could fathom the will of God; then it would have to be more intelligent than the supreme intelligence itself.

So I just want to finish the three main points, then we'll look at it. So if you are suffering, it already implies that you are buying into a story that is not true. That is called ignorance. So to let go of the mind implies to let go of all the stories—anything that has to do with time, anything that has to do with the proposals from thoughts. Just let go of that. And it is right now. You're not fixing it for somebody in the past; you're not fixing it for somebody in the future. It is only this right now. And it always works whether the physical presence of the Master is there or not, because the true Master is always with you and it is never powerless. So that is the end of suffering, and we can talk more about it in a minute if you want.

The second question then, and that is a popular question in India where many great sages initially went to their Master and said, 'Can you show me God?' This is a search for God, a God-recognition, God-realization. And that is becoming completely apparent to you when I ask you: can you stop being? Does that being have any boundary, any limitation? You recognize this pure beingness is the presence of God. It's very simple, simpler than anything that you can do.

Then you may say, 'Yes, this is apparent, it's clear, but what about the Absolute or the capital-S Self? Can I come to a direct recognition of that?' And in the simple question 'Are you aware now?' you recognize something which is not an image, it is not a perception, it is not a concept. You're able to affirm the existence of yourself as awareness without a physical perception or phenomenal movement. That's it. This is not how to make the life of the non-existent one better. It is not experience-chasing or experience-hoarding, like 'Can I always only have peace or bliss?' It has nothing to do with any of that.

The absence of ignorance is the absence of suffering. The recognition of the holy presence of beingness is the recognition of God itself. And to recognize the pure awareness that you yourself are, this awareness, is to come to the absolute seeing of reality. What is your boundary right now? Where do you start and where do you stop? Do some mere sensations that we call the body, do they stop us? Your being is like some liquid inside a glass; it only exists on this side of the sensation, not on that side. Where do you end? All that you perceive, within what is it perceived? Is it outside of you? Send your attention as far as you can in whichever dimension you like and tell me whether you have left your being behind. Tell me something that can appear in the realm of appearances that can attack this being. What is aware of all of this? What is the color of that?

Can we put that one in a story? If you're witnessing, if that is the central point, let's talk about a story from that reference point. What has happened to that one? Possible? Not possible at all. So there is no such thing as a true story. This truth cannot be included in a story. The story means ignorance. I feel like we should revisit some of our examples like the ATM I used to speak about so much eight years ago, because in that, a lot of this is very simply explained.

So let me, for those who haven't heard it, just recap that as well for everyone. Suppose that our project when we come to satsang was the opposite. We don't come for freedom; we come for misery, okay? Because all of us are too free and we are bored being so free, you see. So we come to a special environment made just so that we can experience the contrasting taste. Experiencing the contrasting taste because then if it's always freedom, then what's the big deal about freedom? So we gather once a week to suffer, to be miserable for some time, so that we can get a taste of the value of what we have the rest of the time. Okay, now how would we do that? Because we are so free, what would you have to do?

So the Master then has a magic solution for you. The Master tells you that there is an ATM machine, but this ATM machine is an 'Anytime Misery' machine. Okay, so anytime misery is available; you've just forgotten about it. So I'm going to remind you. What do you do? What is the Anytime Misery machine? It is the mind. It is the mind. But you can't just go stand in front of the mind, you see, and become miserable. There are a couple of things you have to do. First, you have to insert the ATM card. What is this ATM card? Attention to mind. You have to give it your attention. You have to bring those thoughts into view because without your attention, you cannot perceive the mind. So first is to insert the card.

But even after inserting the card, you have to punch in a PIN: Personal Identification Number. The example is perfect. So it's personal identification. So not only are the ramblings of the mind coming into view, they're also taken to be valid representatives of reality—that this actually happened, this is how it actually is. So the description of what is, that the mind is actually trying to make for us, we, using the power of our belief, punch in our identification and say, 'Yes, this is true.' Now, without doing both of these, you see, you cannot just put the card in; you cannot punch in the PIN without the card. Both of these you have to do to get misery. But if you agree to do both of these, as much misery as you like is available for you.

So both attention to mind as well as the identification, which only happens through belief in its constructs—both you have to do for an unlimited amount of suffering. This bank balance doesn't run out. As much as you like, as much as you like. But don't be in denial of the fact that it can only function, this machine can only function, with attention and belief. Now, many of you are trying to control attention. All yogis are now... most practices in the world are about trying to control attention. 'Don't put the ATM card in.' I agree, if you don't put the card in, there's no question of belief whatsoever, you see. So keep your attention on your breath, or keep it on an image of God, or keep it anywhere else, but don't allow it to go to thoughts. So that is what most sadhana is about. Keep it in the heart chakra, or keep it in the breath, or keep it in the name of the Lord, you see. All of these things.

Now, as a spiritual seeker, I tried all of these and they all seem to work brilliantly for a few minutes, and then I would get back to my old ways of giving attention to the mind again, you see. And I've very rarely come across—and even that I'm being charitable—I've very rarely come across anyone who has been able to get so much mastery over their attention that they don't need to worry about the second one. So I realized that for most of us, it is the punching of the PIN number, you see, which is the doorway to freedom. Which means that just letting go or surrender—whatever the mind is proposing, surrender means 'not my problem, it is Guruji's, not my thought.' You can come and go.

So those who have the surrender-type temperament, they can just let go and surrender to the Lord or the Guru—it's the same thing—and allow these thoughts to come and go because you're not punching in your belief, you're not putting in your personal identification. So you are not going to suffer. Now, for some who are not of the temperament who can just let go, then the inquiry is suggested, you see. So inquiry means what? In the thought is contained the proposal about you. 'You need this in your life to be happy,' for example, see? Or 'I need this in my life to be happy.' So there's a 'me' being proposed in all thought concepts, you see, either directly or indirectly.

So the path of self-inquiry says rather than just accepting the proposal from the mind which says 'I need this' or 'I don't want this, I want this,' don't accept that proposal. Find out who you really are. As I have been saying in satsang, what if all the proposals are for a giraffe but it turns out that you are a rabbit? You want to first explore whether you are a giraffe to find out. So that is the simple path. The two-pronged path is actually the same, which means that we let go of these false constructs of the mind and we don't give these ideas belief. Because what does belief mean? Belief implies that we take a construct, you see, a set of words, to be true, which means that they are representing what is accurately. But what is is too broad to be represented by a set of words.

So either through letting go, which is the surrender, or through self-inquiry, we recognize that we are not the one in the mind's narrative. In the mind's narrative is a fictional character; it is not our reality. Therefore, we don't put our personal identification in, and then we cannot partake in this misery. So when I say open and empty, it is another way of saying surrender or let go. And it is instant. It is instant because your suffering needs to be reinforced continuously. Not your peace, not your freedom. Be miserable right now. Be miserable right now without thinking a thought, without buying into a thought. Nobody can do it. Papaji said, 'To be happy, you don't...'

It is not our reality; therefore, we don't put our personal identification in, and then we cannot partake in this misery. So when I say open and empty, it is another way of saying surrender or let go. And it is instant. It is instant because your suffering needs to be reinforced continuously—not your peace, not your freedom. Be miserable right now. Be miserable right now without thinking a thought, without buying into a thought. We must do; nobody can do it. The Papaji said to be happy you don't need anything, but to suffer you definitely need at least one thought, one idea, like one notion.

What is the one notion you have? No, the more the moment—like the moment you're talking, you're seeing, and it's all sleeping in and you're just so... such another story coming in with such force. Like, before even I could think, it was there. The moment you said there is, if you don't log in, if you don't believe... and there's something so juicy presented at the same time for me to get me diverted. This attention, what is listening to you to get there? And what is it? What is the story? There's something, something really silly and nonsense which just happened, like which Yash was talking about.

And to recognize it is not is more than enough, you see, because you see your personal identification.

Yeah, but it was so quick that it's right now in this moment only.

Because there is nothing about trying to control your attention in this way or that way, and there is nothing to practice to be open because naturally you are open. This is the best news, actually. Right now, you are as open as you can ever be. So the end of suffering is right now. Like, the suffering cannot exist without an overuse of the mind, which only means a story. Then the discovery of your being cannot be in the past or in the future. The discovery of the Self, the recognition of the Self, cannot be in the past or future.

So the path of self-inquiry, what can happen is that if something is repetitive and repetitively seems to pull your belief that this is actually true, it can... it has the premise that he says, 'Whatever Father is saying is fine, but actually what about this? But actually what about this?' You see? So whatever the identity is in that condition, explore whether that is true. Is that what you are, whatever the identity being proposed? So don't try to fix the problem. Don't try to fix the problem; try to see through the problem or transcend the problem. Because the problem cannot be fixed at the same level at which it is created; it can only be transcended from a higher level.

So what are you taking yourself to be that you are undergoing suffering? Are you taking yourself to be a lump of food? Does the lump of food now want God so that the lump of food can be happy? That is the... that is the spiritual seeker, by the way. So the example is not as absurd as it may sound. I, Mr. Body-Mind or Ms. Body-Mind, now want to have God so that I, Body-Mind, can be happy. And body part of Body-Mind is what? All that we have consumed.

There's something wants to know. Something wants to know and have, and unless I'll have control, I will not know. Some with that identity or whatever...

That's what I'm saying. That whatever you think you can know, you cannot know, you see? And whatever you can know, you cannot see. This is the exact opposite paradigm to what the mind is offering. Whatever you truly know, you cannot think, and whatever you think you know, you cannot... yes, absolutely. Can you think your existence? Can you think 'be'? Can you think love? Can you think the Self? You cannot think it. That is only true knowingness. To knowingness, whatever you think is pure speculation about somebody who doesn't exist. Whatever is of any value, we cannot think, and whatever we can think is all right.

And your existence is not that limited that without the use of thought you will lose something of great value. Maybe we only think that. So who's living in your heart right now? Who's being in your heart right now? Whose presence is my presence? Whose presence is that? The sense 'I am' is whose presence? Is it a personal presence? Whose presence is it? Recognize the supreme gift which is available. God is here. Who exists? What existence is here?

The mind only has one mission, only one mission: to convince God that God's presence is a personal presence. That's the design also. Design, of course. That's why it's called a Leela or a play—to attempt to convince consciousness that it is a mere individual. But you don't go with the mind's story. You check for yourself: who is existing here? Whose presence is unstoppable? So don't feel like you're not feeling the presence. Try to stop being. Don't be for a moment. That which you cannot stop is the being. Lord is here. Your being.

And what must you be that you are aware even of this being? Intuitively you realize that you are not limited even by this unlimited. What is your magnificence? Your glory is beyond description because the unlimited being you are, beyond even that. Awareness. Shapeless, sizeless, timeless. All these universes come and go for you, and you remain untouched. What divine Maya is, is that that supreme untouched reality takes itself to be just a bucket of food, and then in that posture of the bucket of food, wants to find God. Let go of all this absurdity and remain with that which your heart can confirm but not your mind.

So, thank you. Thank you for starting Satsang in this way that allowed this one to recap most of what is shared here. Thank you so much. I'll come to the rest of you in a moment. Just observe your being. See that you are. You take it for granted. You are. I am. All that appears is with its light. All that appears is on its screen. Untouched and pristine is your being. Never lose it. You don't have to find it. Even in the mind's darkest hour, the light of your being is undiminished. This is the gift that all the sages have for us. This is the discovery that we have made.

The trickiness of the trickster is sneaky because in spite of this simple, pristine discovery, it may present a proposal, usually starting with 'but,' which will try and include what you are discovering also in time, in your story, and then you will start posing as if you are a person again. So remain conceptless, motionless in the unborn, and trust the sages' reassurance that all things are perfectly resolved in the unborn. We need to speak more. Let's see. Let's see what Jason wants to ask.

Namaste. I don't know if I can even say now. Just you said everything and... but still I think I have to... I have to confess that yes, still I feel I'm on the way to... on the way to awakening. Like, because it is still the thick veil of Maya making me believe I was this body or something. Listen, I've said this before, I know, but yes. And sometimes I feel good because I feel very close to... like it's very close, the awakening, but still not there.

And so in the moment of your notion, its existence... in one moment of your notion, this existence, you are as free as the greatest sage. The mind has a favorite proposal for spiritual seekers, and that trick is to convince you that you're almost there. This one, in the play of the life of Ananta, used to be an atheist. Now, very soon after he became spiritual, he started to believe that he's almost there, and he was almost there for many, many years. So just let go of the notion of almost there, because that doesn't belong to anyone real. The truth is always the truth; the untrue never is.

So the idea of progressive growth, let that be the Master's problem. So sometimes the Master may say you're doing very well, you see? You don't worry about any of that. The Master is tracking whatever so-called progress or non-progress there is, you see? Do you find what the Master is saying right now? Do you leave your own report card aside? You cannot track it. The mind does not have the ability to gauge your spiritual progress, you see? So don't try to ever gauge. You stay with what the Master is saying.

So when the Master says recognize your being, see if it is limited. You stay with that instruction and don't bother with whether that is leading to some spiritual progress for Jason, and that has nothing to do with it. The one who is progressing will be kept aside. Now we can check and see: can you stop being? No. Can you find a boundary to this being? Out of a hundred, how many spiritual marks will you give to the being? That one feels easy. So as simple as that. You think you could be more? This being could be more being? How would it progress? Just try to be in more. That is the mind's proposal: if you only had this, then you would be more, you would be better, more spiritual, more kind, more true. All these ideas, but they don't apply to being because being is fully being. The light of being is not reducing or increasing; it is fully full now.

Are you aware? Yes. And you are aware of even this being, isn't it? Even your existence, 'I am,' is something that you are aware of. We can speak openly if it is not clear; we can look together.

The being has no quality, so that's why sometimes, yes, it's not so easy to say. It's not something I perceive.

Yes, yes. That's how he said: aware of being, and then being perceives all the qualities of this realm, all the shapes, sizes, and colors. So we'll come to that in a moment then. So independent of 'aware of what,' are you aware? Yes. Is there a phenomenal basis to your confirmation, which means did you see any quality or perception? No. There are some perceptions, but that's not the awareness. Yes, yes. Then what is the awareness? Recognized but unspeakable because it is quality-less, attribute-less. Its Nirguna nature is absent of all qualities.

Now try to increase this awareness or reduce it. Do these terms apply? No. Easy. So you may say to its phenomenal twin in a way, which sometimes jokingly I refer to as attention, you could say, 'I give more attention to something' or 'I reduce attention from something.' But to awareness, which is just aware, these terms which imply a limitation of more and less do not apply here. If you have any trouble with any of this, we can look more and more.

No, it's clear now.

From this perspective, can you insert this awareness into time, into a story, into a narrative? Can we say once there was awareness and it did not have a good day or something? No, not possible. Can we insert any sort of progress on it and say awareness is progressing well or it's not doing so well recently?

Now some of these... I already lost awareness.

Are you aware now? It's good. I'm happy you speak openly like this so we can get together somewhere. See, it's that simple. It's that simple just to check: am I aware? And it's very good like this because the mind will make a painting or a picture out of awareness which will look like a dark empty room or something and then use that as a reference to confirm all that I'm asking. So instead of that, it's better to admit that, 'Okay, I lost you there for a moment. Can you point me back to the awareness?' And it's that simple. Are you aware? See? All... who is aware of the being? Any simple question like this, we just come back to this simplicity of this recognition which is independent of all perceptions.

So this awareness, can it progress or regress? So you see that in its unmanifest nature, your reality is this awareness, and manifestly it is the play of being and all the appearances within this. So neither to the unmanifest or the manifest do the notions of the mind really apply. So what is space for awareness? What are sensations or perceptions for awareness? What is time for awareness? And most importantly, what are you for awareness? Now the trick is—and for all of you this is important—if you don't want anything out of this discovery, you are free. But the minute desire with regards to spiritual realization... even it could be as simple as, 'Now I just want to be at peace.' Forget about it. Who is it that you're representing in that statement? It's not awareness that wants peace any time.

What are sensations or perceptions for events? What is time for events? And most importantly, what are you for awareness? Now the trick is, and for all of you this is important: if you don't want anything out of this discovery, you are free. But the minute desire with regards to spiritual realization—even it could be as simple as 'now I just want to be at peace'—forget about it. Who is it that you're representing in that statement? It's not awareness that wants peace. Any time a speck of dust of individuality can seem to just perpetuate into lifetimes of misbelief. So don't want anything out of this discovery. It is just truth for truth's sake. It is worth it only because it is true, not because it must give us some benefit. And who is that one who would get the benefit? Not enlightenment, not perpetual bliss, not supernatural abilities, siddhis, nothing at all. No master's word, no disciples; all of those are just constructs as awareness, all of which is just as the sage said, the horns of a hare and horns of a rabbit don't exist. Not applicable.

Where are you located in time? Where are you located in space? Are these not for the reality of what you are? Are these not just emotional playthings for your mind? What's your relationship with awareness? Our relationship is not something intimate or distant; it is your very truth, your very reality. Om Shri Ram Namah. She said that awareness is your true name, another name for what you really are. So it needs to have a relationship, but you are one. Very good, very good.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you to Aniko. Thank you very much for taking my question. And you know, I again have my paper. Now, I don't hear you so bad.

Oh, I see. This may be better now?

Yes, much more so. I think you already answered all my questions, but still I would like to ask it; maybe you can see it from a different aspect. So the identification was very strong at the last week. There was so much emotions like fear and anger, so much suffering. And I tried to do everything to be the witness. I tried to surrender, I tried not to give any meaning of those emotions, and also I tried to do nothing. But after all, the one who was trying to do the things, this trial became just a part of all this game. And actually, I started completely in this prior identification. And then Jada shared the audio by Guruji and I listened to it, and so instantly there was a peace and joy again in my heart and everything was just swept away. And after, the mind came up again and said to me, 'Look, you are just a victim of these two parts of energy. You are just a kind of like a ball flying in the air between these two different circumstances and very valuable, and you can't do really anything by yourself, and just these energies are playing with you.' And also you need to be...

Not 'sanguary' because this is an important point to look at, and many of you can have this report. So let's really look at that. So the proposal that you are a victim of energies or you are just like a little pendulum who keeps swinging between good and bad and peace and frustration—where did that proposal come from? From the mind. So any proposal from the mind which has been true so far? No. But it seems to be really a fact when it is taking part because of these very deep vasanas. And sometimes it feels I don't even have to put the pin number in the machine; it's just straight away like I hear the anger is coming and I don't even need the identification part. Yeah, this is how it's feeling maybe.

So at least we can admit that the salesman has not sold us good products in the past, but it seems to come up with fresh-backed products which we feel like, 'Okay, this one may be actually good,' isn't it? So it's not given us the truth, but sometimes its proposal comes and we believe, of course, because it feels plausible, it feels realistic. What you are saying is that it seemed like in this case it was so obvious that what it is saying is a fact, you see. Now let's look at the factual nature of what it is reporting. 'You are a victim of energies.' Can you produce this victim? Where is it? I have introduced you today too, and of course in the past as well, to your beingness which is unlimited and unruffled with whatever energy may come. I have also introduced you to that which is beyond this being itself, untouched. Can anything attack it in any way? You see, now in the mind's proposal, you are none of these. You are something else. So can you produce that one that you are? Where is that one?

Yeah, they are just emotions and thoughts and pictures.

Yeah, yeah. So emotions, thoughts, visuals—they gang up together and create what? Create a belief that they are me.

Yes.

And without the belief, what are they?

They are just flowing objects in the air.

Yes, yes. So are you that that witnesses the perceiving of all of this? So to put it more simply, are you that which is aware of these perceptions, or are you an object made up of these perceptions?

I fear I am both.

Yes, yes, yes. But one aspect of you comes and goes and one aspect does not come and go. Which aspect does not come and go?

The witness of all is always here.

Although the mind advises us to not be so concerned about that aspect which comes and goes because the mind will obviously present and say, 'Ah yes, but even this is me, so why don't I take care of that?' Now, we have spent our whole life trying to take care of that. So they are presenting a fresh approach. They're saying, 'Okay, for some time, put some time and focus on that which does not come and go.' It couldn't hurt because we've tried the other way for a long time. So you're right, that is also you; it appears within you just like the manifestation of ice is also just water. But we've tried to work with ice at the ice level and that has not worked. So maybe we can work with water and see. Yes?

Yes.

So as that awareness which is, to use the Vedantic standard of reality, your only reality because it does not come and go, can you say what happened to this awareness when this soup of sensations and perceptions comes and goes?

This is always just like a pure seeing of all, like a knowing of all. Yeah, nothing happened. Nothing.

Sorry, allow yourself to not make any reference of yourself in either the manifest or the unmanifest. The 'I' thought is only a reference we make to ourselves. So allow yourselves to be absent of any of these references. So neither Nirvana, neither unmanifest nor manifest, none of these. What did you lose in the process?

Sorry, I don't know. It's just sometimes happening, this voice is just coming. It's very nice. If I don't put any meaning of anything, then it's just neither meaning nor meaningless.

Oh, okay. Because meaning is also meaning. Conceptual reference making at all in either end of the spectrum, neither then... and she's back! So there is a point where I cannot say anything. So in here, I don't understand them. So like conceptual understanding is like a teaspoon, you see. Yourself is like the ocean. How will you understand the self?

I can't.

Does the self have any lack of understanding about itself? Is it lost with its own being, with its own reality? It is the idea of the individual to try and use the mind to understand the ocean, to take this and try to measure the ocean with it. It cannot be done.

I feel that you doing something in the end. It's good. Tickling from the inside. I can't do this, I can't.

To which one? Which one you mean? We allow the teaspoon to be empty of false knowledge and the recognition of reality is super simple because only the garbage in the teaspoon... only to be unhappy you need to know something. It's coming okay, but still I have to think about it because what will happen once you think? All our thinking past has been very helpful? There's still such truth out of our thinking in the past? Oh, how does that plan work with us? I just so much... the not crazy said that. He's a little bit scared person. Thank you. I'm going to give the place to somebody else.

Hello, my dear. So good you came up.

Yes, I was a bit like afraid, but I still feel it's good to speak and yeah, thank you. And Aniko helped with her laughing. I just felt it's not so... to others also that they feel a bit scared to come up, they can come out.

Did I give you any homework from the last conversation?

Don't understand anything.

Ah yes, how's that working out?

It's good. It was like in the first few days was really good. I felt like some, I don't know, different feeling inside. But still it's like very hard to not go in the mind. Like I feel so easily, you know, I go on with this like all the time. There is a story in the head and it's most of the time very negative. And then I feel guilty, why I can't stop it? It's like just like a craziness. And then I feel very guilty and very hopeless, like if I can't do this then nothing will change and yeah.

Oh yeah, it's very natural for the mind to play that treatment. So sometimes I call it the one-two punch, you know, this boxing terminology. So it's the one-two punch. So it's like a combination and the one is just, it just sweetens you up and the second one is the actual voila. So what happens is that it itself feeds you this story and then when you start believing the story, it feeds you the story of how you are unworthy or a useless seeker who's not getting the point. Then you feel guilty. So it's like when we go on a diet. So sometimes we eat a starter and then we feel like, 'Okay, now that I've eaten a starter, I might as well have the doughnut, the cream doughnut as well.' The starter, the salad itself are now not so bad. So sometimes something comes and it feels like, 'Okay, yes, yes, and why couldn't my life be like this little bit?' You know, sometimes you identify, but then the follow-up punch which says, 'See, the Master told you not to go with the mind and you're still going with the mind, you're useless and you can never do this properly, what's wrong with you?' All that is the dessert and that has most of the calories.

So what is the approach that we know you must take? Because even the greatest masters once in a while they go to the mind, you see. But what they don't do is the second punch, which is the 'Oh, I'm so unworthy, I'm so unfree,' you see, all of these ideas which are so deeply personal and judgmental. Some light thinking sometimes happens, it goes, it's fine. You don't further pick up more and more calories from the tree because you had the starter. So some thought came, it seemed real for a minute, we believe the notion, you see. Then when we notice that, what is the best approach? Not to add more thoughts and say 'I'm so bad, I'm so unworthy.' That is finished, over, over. You identified, you notice you identified, you see. Then you open empty. Then you identify, you notice you identified, you know. And the alarm clock will buzz anyway if you don't notice; suffering will come. So we don't need to be so worried about that. Sometimes we just notice organically, 'Hey, that's not me, that's not my reality.' And sometimes something pokes us, like when we don't notice organically, then something will come in the design of this which will poke us. And the poke comes. The poke is not meant for us to feel more guilty or unworthy and things; it is just to notice and say, 'I bought into this false story.' Just notice, just notice and let it pass. Just notice and let it pass. That's it. Then what happens is you take the starter, do you take the dessert out of the menu? Because the dessert is the heavier part; it is the unworthy seeker which is most difficult to manage. The one who identifies from time to time is okay, you see what I'm saying?

But it doesn't feel like from time to time, it feels like an ongoing craziness that I cannot... that is just a trick of the mind. Like how many moments were you identified?

Notice, just notice and let it pass. Just notice and let it pass. That's it. Then what happens is you take the starter, do you take the dessert out of the menu? Because the dessert is the heavier part. It is the unworthy seeker which is most difficult to manage. The one who identifies from time to time is okay, you see what I'm saying?

But it doesn't feel like from time to time. It feels like an ongoing craziness that I cannot... that is just a trick of the mind. Like, how many moments were you identified today? How many thoughts did you hide? It just seems like, maybe it's not true, but it seems like it's like an ongoing suffering. And you said before that it cannot be suffering without believing in the mind, without the story. So then I must be believing all the time because it seems like...

Yeah, let's look at this. Okay, now how do you know that there is ongoing suffering? So the mind will throw some notions at you and say, for example, whole of yesterday you were suffering. But we can question that and say, okay, how many moments do you remember from yesterday? Can you remember five, ten, fifteen, twenty? You definitely can't remember more than twenty, thirty. And how many moments were there? So if you allow the mind to create these narratives, it is impossible to resolve it for the one in the narrative because that one doesn't exist. So if you bind to these mind narratives, then we tell you, but see, you are still constantly suffering. But can you actually know that? Maybe you spend the whole day just neutral, nothing special in terms of bliss, but not so much in terms of pain either. But a few moments came and the mind says, 'See, let's note this down,' and one more moment, 'See, let's note this down.' And then it can feel like a plausible, like a believable idea that most of my life I'm suffering.

Yes, it might be like there is a tendency for the mind to go into this exaggerated like, 'Oh, everything is so bad and everything is hard.' But it also feels like suffering. Like, it's not only there is this exaggeration, but there is also... I don't know where exactly it comes from or what is the exact story I'm believing. It feels like a lot of different stories. I don't know, mainly around this seeker identity that doesn't get it and failed and it's so bad and it's so like low. And it's mostly around this like spiritual suffering, like you say. But how to stop it? How to see if you're suffering right now? Yes, like you asked before, can you suffer in this moment? And my answer was yes, to be honest. Like, I don't know.

How do you define suffering? What are you doing right now which you could call something you're being?

The feeling of struggle, of contraction. Like anything that... that's suffering maybe because I think it shouldn't be there or something, I don't know.

Correct, correct. So if we leave the feeling alone... so there's a feeling, suppose I have a throat or I have an energetic constriction, something. So would I call that suffering? For suffering there has to be a 'me' suffering. There has to be a sufferer, yes or no? That is an important distinction to me. For trouble, like I was saying earlier, there has to be someone troubled. Can trouble just trouble itself? So can that energetic constriction, can it trouble itself? So who is suffering from it? Yes, maybe just there is just a strong habit of complaining, like a negative... yeah, but it's good we're looking. We're looking together like this.

So I want to propose to you that in this God's kingdom, all colors, all shapes, all sizes are available, you see? Now if you scan the body—and most bodies are like this—you will always find some pain and some pleasure. But if we, for example, or in your energetic spectrum, you will always find something which feels like constriction and some aspect feels like expansion, you see? Now, like you identified, right, that if you have an idea that every constriction must vanish for me to be free, or if somebody else has an idea that my body should have no pain, wherever I look it should be just free of pain, then I can be free—it's the same idea actually. But it is not like that because all salt, sugar, you see, spices, everything is available in this play of contrast.

So without the idea that this should not be, what is that? You see? Even the idea 'this should not be' is something you understand that you can say, 'Oh, this is constriction, this should not be,' or because something doesn't feel open and light and spacious, so this must be suffering. No. Freedom is allowing everything to appear and disappear because your being doesn't have anything. So I was just saying this point, and then you can say... I was saying that your being doesn't have any trouble with whatever is appearing within itself. Just like the screen is not hurt by scenes of violence on the screen, you see? The movie screen remains untouched. Same way with your being. And the being is also the light of the projector. The light is unheard by whatever the scene may be. So your being is untouched. That which is witnessing the scene and the light of the projector, your awareness, which is what you are, is obviously untouched.

So the idea that 'this should not be for me to have a better life' belongs to which 'me'? Who has the intelligence there to be able to judge God's projection of either openness or constriction? There must be something greater than God's intelligence to be able to do that. So it's a very large statement, huge statement: 'This should not be.' Who can make that conclusion? In God's light, something is appearing or not appearing. So who has the intelligence to be able to say this should be or should not be? And who has trouble with it? So what to do? One: whatever appears, that would be Guruji's problem. If that doesn't seem so palatable, continue the inquiry. Who is it that is suffering from the appearance or the disappearance of any perception? Who is the sufferer? Don't do it because you want something or you want to be rid of something, because your mind will use that as benchmarks and say, 'I'm doing the inquiry now, has the constriction gone or not?' That is not why you are doing the inquiry. It is not for benefit. It is just to find out what is true. It is worth it because it is true. But okay, I'd like you to come up every time, delighted to stop. I already said this, yes.

Thank you. Can I just share one thing about this constriction? Because it's maybe part of the story and maybe you can tell me something. Because some time ago, like some years ago, I felt like some dark energies attacked me, that's the best way I can describe it. And these energies came inside this body and since then I feel something is very distorted inside, and also strong negative states and ongoing mind. And somehow it's... I don't know, I feel very stuck and I don't know if it has to do with these energies or I should just forget about it and stop thinking like that. But and I also have like... I'm thinking this happened because of some arrogance inside me. So it's all connected in the story, like the guilt and the... it feels very... and the situation feels very difficult. Like it feels very much worse than anybody else or much worse than I was before. And it's all very magnified and very like hopeless and big. And also the fact that I can't really follow everything you say or Guruji says, it's also part of the heaviness of the story. Like there's no way out. This is like the big problem and no solution. So this is kind of the suffering, everyday suffering.

Thank you. Thank you for exposing all that. Now I want to say, in every aspect of your story that 'I was arrogant,' you see, you need to understand that, but you actually don't know that. So throw it away. That these energies came and there are dark energies and light energies—you need to understand that, throw it away. It is not like that. In the play of consciousness, everything has its own tastes and flavors and everything, but everything is a child of consciousness, you see? So just to put it in a very simple way, nothing is beyond peanuts and popcorn for consciousness. It is not that something can come within the light of consciousness which can become so big for consciousness itself to handle, you see? It is nothing. It's just momentarily on the screen in your infiniteness. For a few moments something shows up. It can be scary, it can seem like it's so dark and even God is powerless against it, but it is never true. Everything is a child of consciousness itself.

So don't worry. Your mind is not able to determine the flavor of anything that appears. Don't worry about it, you see? Because it will have only these simplistic sort of boxes that 'this is dark energy, this is auspicious energy.' Yes, don't bother with it. Don't bother with it. Then you say, 'I'm not able to follow.' How do you know you're not able to follow? Maybe you're following better than everyone else. Forget about it. You don't know. You don't know. I've seen you in satsang for so long. Most of the ones who came to that satsang when you came earlier were not here today. So how do you know? You don't know these things, you see? And especially forget about this thing that you feel like, 'My problem is special. I have a problem which is unlike everyone else. My problem is deeper because they are not going through dark energy, they're just facing a normal mind. In my case, I have all this stuff happening.' Just forget. You cannot determine these things. The mind is not able to determine these things. And there is nothing that Satguru's grace cannot happen, you see?

So every aspect of your story, just chop it. Determine what is happening to you, but actually what it is creating is the box of suffering, you see? We feel like, 'I need to understand what is happening to me so that I can try and make some sense of it and only then can I come to a resolution or some fix to the problem,' you see? But our conclusions about what is happening are so limited and so primitive that they do not capture even one moment of our existence. See? So best to forget about them. You're neither arrogant nor special, nor do you have dark energies, nor are you possessed, more nothing like... you cannot say any of them. And although it sounds like a very simple instruction—don't understand anything—actually it is the root of all spirituality. It is the master key to our spirituality because our problems, our version, our idea about what is God is not so tiny that we can say, 'Ah, okay, this is what's happening.' Even one moment of your life you cannot define in that way.

So for a while it can feel like, 'Okay, now I don't even have this conclusion. I don't even know whether this is happening to me,' you see? And it can feel a bit wobbly because of that. It can feel a bit wobbly because of that. But allow yourself to feel that wobble instead of rushing back to these very like limiting, very primitive sort of conclusions. This is not Star Wars or something where there's a dark side. It's all... everything is so full of flavor that we can never determine that it's like this one, like that. Can only taste it. Being can just taste its own beingness, its own flavor of itself. But all the conclusions of the mind which are saying it's like this, it's like that—not worth a penny. What will you do without these stories?

Yeah, sometimes I feel like there is this nothingness and it's somehow here. And maybe there is the fear of that nothingness and the mind keeps this alive, all these stories, because he's afraid somehow. I don't know if it's true, but it feels like this. Maybe just holding on to whatever it can just to not be empty.

The mind is just a defense against this openness and emptiness, you see? Because each version of happiness or nothingness, as you put it, is a very scary version. Like, who wants to be nothing? You see? I would rather be a troubled something than a nothing with the mind story, you see? But there's nothing that the mind understands is not the 'no thing' that you are. It's not the emptiness which I'm pointing to. It's much, much more magnificent than the mind. Okay? Okay, I will speak more next time. Right, yes.

The mind is just a defense against this openness and emptiness, you see, because its version of happiness or nothingness, as you put it, is a very scary version. Like, who wants to be nothing? You see, I would rather be a troubled something than a nothing with the mind story, you see. But this nothing that the mind understands is not the no-thing that you are. It's not the emptiness which I'm pointing to. It's much, much more magnificent than the mind. Okay? Okay, I will speak more next time, right? Yes.

I realize that many of you are waiting, but I have some family commitment which I have to get to. You could hear that I have some visitors as well, so we're going to call it. But all my love, all my blessings, and I really want to tell all of you that everything that can possibly be offered, you see, has been offered today. So don't feel that your question has been left unanswered. Don't feel like your question has been unanswered because everything, everything has been looked at. And anyway, we meet next week if something that still remains. But you could revisit the satsang, this recording, because right from the most basic concepts of spirituality to very, very subtle mind tricks and things, we've looked at all of these. I'm giving you all my love. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today.